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cinnamongorll · 3 months

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a fragile line - chapter 23

read on ao3! (111k words) | previous chapter | next chapter | masterlist

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female OC

Tags: extreme slow burn, age gap, older man/younger woman, protective joel, jealous joel, hurt/comfort, pov third person, mutual pining, angst, sexual tension, friends to lovers, canon-typical violence, feral joel, parental abuse, eventual smut.

Series synopsis: three years ago, Juliet escaped her father's religious survivor camp, ending up in the Boston QZ. Juliet created a life for herself in Boston, desperate to forget the trauma of her upbringing. One day, Juliet arrives home to find a mysterious letter which forces her to return to her home town. Juliet can't travel the harsh post-apocalyptic landscape alone, so she enlists the help of the grumpy and, at times, frightening man she works alongside: Joel Miller.

Chapter warning: references to suicide/suicidal thoughts

Word count: 4.7k

Chapter 23: 'My Tears Ricochet'

One week later

Juliet’s POV:

It took three days to find a way out of Cody.

The entire city was overrun; the infected lingered in every corner, round every bend. Terror had wrapped its cold hand around each of their necks, squeezing tighter and tighter as they fought their way out of the city. Juliet imagined that the fear caught Joel a little harder than herself. She could see it in the rigidness of his shoulders. He was terrified. But not for himself, never for himself. He was terrified for Tommy.

Tommy was supposed to be in Cody, he was supposed to be somewhere safe, he was supposed to be okay. But there was no sign of any living being other than those who were more fungus than person. As they clawed their way out of the city, Joel’s steps were harder, his instructions were harsher, and his eyes grew colder and colder.

They had to leave the truck behind. There was no way they would make their way back to it with infected crawling around the vehicle. It was almost as though they knew how important the truck was to them and how devastating a loss it would be.

Two days had passed since they left Cody. Both days were spent walking almost non-stop. There were multiple times where Juliet felt her steps stumbling and her legs giving out, but she didn’t let herself crumble. She kept going, kept moving, despite the worsening pain in her body. Juliet had one goal: get Joel to Tommy. Her guilt fueled every action, every thought in her mind. Juliet believed that if she got Joel to his brother, if they were reunited, that it would ease her guilt over lying to him, forcing him to save her on multiple accounts, kissing him…

Ethan walked a couple steps behind her as they travelled across the vast stretch of forestland. Wyoming was stunning. Even in her detached state, Juliet struggled not to appreciate its beauty. The autumn sun illuminated the world in browns and reds and oranges. Juliet made a point of only looking ahead, because she couldn’t bring herself to look at Ethan, to meet his eyes. She had lost herself after the clicker attack, the rational part of her brain had escaped her. Juliet had allowed her emotions to fuel her actions and every part of her had screamed Joel’s name. She had thrown herself as him and he caught her in his strong hands without a second thought. Despite the chilled air, sweat broke out across her back at the memory of his feral touch.

She liked it, a little too much probably. But Juliet knew that the feeling was mutual. When Joel wrapped his hands around her waist and she’d raked her nails down his back, Juliet knew, without a doubt, that he felt the same surge of desire. It wasn’t like the last time, on the floor in that dark house when Joel’s blood still stained her hands and their kiss was confused and unsure. This time, Juliet didn’t have to wonder if Joel had meant it. The press of his rough fingers against her burning skin had told her more than enough.

She was growing more and more desperate to stop Joel and demand access to the thoughts inside his head. Juliet was becoming an expert in the nuances of his expressions and the language of his hands. But it wasn’t enough. The tension between them was reaching an unbearable stage and she knew that one day, probably soon, it would snap. The dark looks, the devastating kisses, and the whispered words were addictive and Juliet had to know when her next fix would be.

Joel walked in front and Juliet couldn’t help but stare at the imprint of his muscles through his dark shirt. She had begged him to take his jacket from her, but he’d refused. When the wind hit them, blowing through the curls on his head, Juliet knew he must be freezing.

It only added to her forever growing dept towards him.

If they could find Tommy, maybe the twisting feeling in her gut would ease, maybe she’d be able to take a real, deep breath again. Joel deserved something good, something to live for.

Juliet only wished that, eventually, she’d be able to find something similar.

…………………………………..

When night fell, they stopped walking.

Juliet’s legs nearly buckled when Joel announced it was time to set up camp for the night. They didn’t have much, only what was left in their bags when they abandoned the truck. There was some food and they’d managed to fill up their water canisters at a river the day before. However, they had no sleeping bags.

The night before had been hell. There was an old cabin that they huddled in, but without any heat, Juliet struggled to sleep at all. Sleep was an old memory, something she desperately tried to cling to but it always fell through her fingers. She lay on the cold wooden floor, Ethan by her side, and stared at the broken roof for hours. Joel had kept watch most of the night, she wasn’t sure when he last slept. Juliet could hear him breathing and she felt his eyes scorch her skin. All she had to do was turn her head, to meet his eyes. But she was scared, terrified that she might meet his dark gaze and they would continue what they had started in the office building back in Cody.

Her fingers curled at the thought.

They all dropped their backpacks behind a large rock formation on the outskirts of the nearest forest. Juliet sighed when the weight left her back and she rolled her shoulders. Her stomach was healing, Ethan had told her when he had changed her bandage yesterday. She could feel it, too. Every movement didn’t come with the same scorching pain anymore, rather more of a dull ache.

The bruises on her wrists and ankles refused to shift, however. Juliet was thankful for Joel’s jacket and its long sleeves to cover the reminder of what happened to her.

When she had blinked away the memory, Juliet noticed Joel crouched on the ground with his lighter gripped tight in his hands. Surely Joel wasn’t breaking his own rules…

“A fire?” Juliet muttered as she stepped closer, transfixed on Joel’s movements.

He looked up at her from his position on the ground, scanning her entire body before meeting her eyes. Joel always did that, like he was examining her. Juliet shifted on her feet, but she didn’t back down. Juliet let Joel pin her with that same fierce look which softened the longer he held her gaze.

Then, he nodded, sudden and sharp.

“We’re far enough out,” he explained before resuming his task.

Seconds later, a flame appeared, roaming over the sticks he had gathered before engulfing them entirely.

Ethan pushed past her, his hands wide, reaching towards the fire. Juliet stumbled out of the way, almost tripping on a rock by her feet. She blinked in annoyance, but she couldn’t blame Ethan for his urgency. She edged closer towards the fire, bending down to sit at a close distance to the flames. The heat was glorious and the permanent numbness in her stiff fingers began to ease.

Juliet tore her eyes from the red flames to find Joel sat across from them, but his eyes weren’t on the fire. He was focusing intensely on the man beside her. His glare was deadly. He looked utterly menacing as the light from the flames painted his face in shades of red. Her eyes dropped lower, and she watched as Joel tightened his grip on his lighter. His knuckles as white as the moon above their heads. Juliet swallowed and subtly shifted away from Ethan, not wanting to intensify the situation. Was it Ethan’s inexperience, his rash decision making, which angered Joel? Or was it something different, something stronger? Was Joel jealous?

No, of course he wasn’t.

Joel didn’t have those kinds of feelings. He was a closed book. He existed for himself and his family, he didn’t care for anything else. It’s the reason he was so dangerous, so adept at surviving in this world. He wasn’t jealous of Ethan. He couldn’t be. Because there was nothing between her and Ethan, only a ghostly presence of what once was. Joel was attracted to her, it was difficult to deny. But there were no feelings beyond that. She was a burden, the cargo he was forced to save and now had to keep alive for a little longer.

Juliet bit her lip, using the sharp pain to distract herself from the mess inside her head. She couldn’t get a firm grip on her thoughts. Her mind was still fuzzy, there were still things that she struggled to remember. Everytime she closed her eyes she was back in that basement, reliving every moment of her father’s torture. But some part of her brain was protecting her from something, there was more from the basement that she couldn’t remember. Juliet wasn’t sure if she wanted to remember. But recently, self-destruction had been her only goal, so her mind kicked and screamed at that brick wall. So far, she hadn’t even made a dent. Maybe it was better that way.

Juliet’s hand had absentmindedly reached into her boot and pulled her knife into her grip. It was an instinctual move, which puzzled Juliet even more.

“You still have it,” Ethan said, amazed.

Juliet’s head shot up, her fingers curled around the knife as she blinked away the fog that had surrounded her mind. With the fire, Juliet had begun to heat up and found her cheeks warming with the attention of the two men.

Turning her head towards Ethan, Juliet nodded as her thumb brushed over the rose carving. Then, she noticed his waiting hand and settled the knife in his warm palm.

“Thought I’d never see it again,” Ethan breathed as he examined the knife, then his eyes flickered to Juliet’s face. “Thought I’d never see youagain.”

Juliet wanted to smile, she wanted to return his words and bathe in the relief of their reunion. But she couldn’t focus on Ethan, she couldn’t focus on anything other than that knife.

When she was trapped in that basement, her ankles bound to that chair… she’d had that knife. It had always been in her boot, the entire time. A sharp ringing sound began to build in Juliet’s ears as the realisation poured over her. Surely some part of her must have known that her knife was still with her. Why didn’t she use it? Why did she allow her father to trap her, slap her, brandher…

She could have escaped, or at least tried.

But why would she?

For months, Juliet was determined that she would most likely die in that basement. In her mind, her fate had been sealed from the moment she found that letter, from the moment she appeared at Joel’s door with a plan and a death wish. It was all for Ethan, she was living for Ethan.

Saving herself was never an option.

But she could have.

Juliet just didn’t care enough.

A sharp gasp released from Juliet’s throat. The ringing in her ears grew louder and louder.

She had wantedto die that day.

Juliet strumbled to her feet, pushing off Ethan’s hands which had settled on her lap. She needed space, she needed air. She couldn’t breathe.

When she stood, Juliet turned as tears blurred her vision and her body staggered over to the nearest rock. Gasping for breath, her hand gripped the cold, rough surface. She could hear Ethan’s voice, calling her name, over and over. But the ringing was too loud and she couldn’t think of anything other than the sound of her own breathing.

A gentle hand touched her shoulder and she whirled around. “Don’t touch me,” she demanded. Her own voice was unfamiliar to her. It was as frigid as the air around them.

Ethan stood behind her, his mouth open in shock as he held his hands in a defensive stance. “Juliet, what’s wrong? Did I do something?” he asked slowly, as though approaching a wild beast.

Juliet’s eyes shot to the sky as a sharp laugh escaped her mouth. She just wanted a moment alone to herself, why couldn’t he give her that?

“I just need a minute,” she ground out before she turned and walked further away, deeper into the night.

“Juliet!” Ethan called.

She couldn’t think. She needed space to breathe. This was too much.

Juliet had wanted to die that day.

Why didn’t they let her die?

This wasn’t a life. She didn’t want any part of it.

Her mind was screaming. Juliet wasn’t sure if it was just inside her head. She kept stumbling, tripping on rocks but managed to steady herself as she fought her way through the horror in her head.

“Juliet, please!” Ethan shouted, more forcefully this time as he caught up to her. Juliet had stopped beside a tree, using the damp bark to steady herself. She was breathing heavy and tears poured down her face.

“Tell me what’s wrong,” Ethan insisted, moving forward while Juliet began to press her back against the tree behind her.

Juliet was sobbing now, she couldn’t answer him. She couldn’t even gather enough air to take a proper breath. Everything was moving too fast, she couldn’t keep up with anything.

“Please,” she murmured, begging him to leave her as he stepped closer.

“Shhhh,” Ethan whispered as he cradled her face in his hands. Juliet was trapped, entirely trapped against the tree.

Then his forehead met hers as he continued to whisper soothing words but all Juliet could hear was her father’s voice screaming in her head. She could feel her father’s breath against her face, she could feel the force of his slap against her skin, she could feel herself slipping away into that same darkness.

Another sob worked its way up her throat and, without warning, Ethan was ripped from his hold on her. Juliet blinked open her eyes, struggling to see through the tears.

“She told you to leave her,” growled Joel as he gripped the back of Ethan’s shirt, whirling him around until he was pinned against a tree himself. In the fading light, Juliet watched as Ethan’s face transformed from shock to an intense, unbridled rage.

Ethan barked out a cold laugh and Joel eased his grip, letting him slump against the tree. “You don’t think I know what this is about?” Ethan seethed, pointing between Joel and Juliet.

Her breathing stopped entirely.

“You think I haven’t seen the way he looks at you?” he accused, focusing on Juliet.

Who was this man? This wasn’t Ethan. Ethan wasn’t cruel and threatening.

He laughed again, this time harsher and he took another step towards Juliet. She caught sight of his hands - they were shaking with anger.

He didn’t manage to get any closer though, Joel caught him with a firm press of his hand against Ethan’s chest, pushing him backwards. Juliet flinched when he hit the ground.

“There he is. Coming to save you again,” Ethan snarled from his position on the ground.

“Ethan, stop,” she demanded. The ringing in her ears had grown louder.

“No,” he said as he pushed himself off the ground, putting his palms in the air when Joel took a warning step towards him. “Juliet, who even is this guy?” he continued, nodding his head towards Joel. “He’s dangerous. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, like you’re a meal he’s waiting to devour. It’s sick,” Ethan spat.

Juliet flinched again. She didn’t dare look at Joel. Her tears still flowed freely down her cheeks, only now, anger was her most prominent emotion.

“Ethan, you have no idea what you're talking about. You need to stop,” Juliet warned in a slow, icy tone.

He scoffed. “I saved you, Juliet. Me.I gave you this knife,” he pulled the switchblade from his pocket, the rose carving illuminated by the moonlight. “I gave you your life back.”

Something snapped inside Juliet.

“And I wish you fucking hadn’t!” she yelled back.

Her hands were curled at her sides, what was left of her fingernails pressed against her palms. Relief was sudden and intense as the words left her mouth.

“I wish you’d left me to rot in that basement years ago, so I wouldn’t have to live with this guilt,” Juliet seethed, her voice cracking on the last word. “So I wouldn’t have to find out everything the world had to offer and know that I could never have it,” she quietened, her words becoming softer but more brutal as she forced herself not to look at Joel.

“You might have helped me run from my father, but he never really left me. Even now that he’s dead, I can’t escape him,” her words were pouring out from the deepest part of her soul.

“So don’t fucking tell me that you saved me, because I gave up everythingfor you. I had a life in the QZ, I had a job, I had friends but I gave it all up to come back here, to sacrifice myself for you.”

Every selfish feeling she hadn’t dared vocalise was thrown out into the dark, sharpened with the bite of her words.

“I was ready to die in that basement again. I wantedto die in that basement. Why couldn’t you have just let me die?” Juliet cried, her eyes finally moving from Ethan to Joel. She covered her mouth with her hands when she realised what she had said. Juliet didn’t recognise the look on Joel’s face.

“Juliet, I’m -” Ethan started, but Juliet just shook her head, turned around and started running deeper into the forest.

No footsteps followed her.

……………………………………..

It could have been minutes later, or hours, but eventually Juliet slowed to a jog and found herself slumbled against a tree deep in the forest.

Her hands shook so badly that she couldn’t even brush the hair from her face.

God, what was wrong with her? Why did she say all of that? She had acted like a teenager, kicking off a temper tantrum then running away.

Juliet reached her trembling fingers up to wipe her tears, then pressed the heel of her palm into her eyes, pushing deeper and deeper until she saw stars.

When she opened them, Juliet caught sight of a torchlight in the distance. She froze, positioning her hands on the ground to push herself up. But then the movement stopped, the torch pointed downwards and then remained where it was.

Juliet let out a shaky breath.

It was just Joel.

He would never let her run into the woods alone, but he was still keeping his distance, giving Juliet her space. The realisation forced tears into her eyes again, burning her cheeks as they fell.

Maybe she could just stay against this tree forever. Let nature take her. There was something poetic in that, she thought.

As the minutes passed her by, embarrassment stung deeper than the cold in her fingers. Ethan was wrong, he shouldn’t have said what he said. But Juliet was wrong too. It wasn’t his fault she went back. It was her decision. It was bound to happen. And he hadsaved her, he had given her another shot at life. Juliet was just too deep in her grief to remember that.

When she looked up again, the torchlight was closer. Juliet pushed herself to her feet, ready to face Joel. He must have noticed the movement because, seconds later, he stood in front of her. The bright light poured over her and she blinked, blinded by it.

When her eyesight returned, Juliet finally dared to meet Joel’s eyes.

She gasped. His eyes were black, but there was no anger lingering in them. They blazed with something different, something that frightened her. In the dull light, Juliet watched his throat move before one single word rushed from his lips.

“Juliet”

It was quiet and restrained, but Juliet gasped at the huskiness of his voice. It wasn’t a command, or a warning, but a plea…

Her vision blurred again and Juliet watched the crease between Joel’s eyebrows deepen in response.

Without thinking, Juliet moved. Her body crashed against his like two ships finding each other after a brutal storm. Her arms instantly wrapped around his back, her fingers gripping the material of his shirt, pulling him closer.

Joel responded immediately, as though he had predicted her movements. His hand raised to cradle the back of her head as her face pressed against the front of his shirt, his other hand reached her back, his fingers still curled around the torch.

For the first time that day, Juliet inhaled a deep breath and allowed it to flow out of her without restraint. Joel held her tight, adjusting his arms to pull her closer. He smelled just as he always had, and Juliet had never felt so safe.

Tears stained his shirt, but he didn’t seem to mind.

“Shhh,” he murmured when his chin met the top of her head, Juliet could feel the sharp scruff of his beard scratch her skull. “You’re safe,” he continued, his deep voice somehow even lower than it usually was.

After an eternity in his arms, Juliet pulled away from Joel’s hold. His hands didn’t leave her though, they dropped to her arms, forming a light grip on her. Juliet’s cheeks warmed at his desperate need to touch her at all times.

“I’m sorry for what I said,” she croaked, licking the tears off of her lips.

Joel followed her movement with his sharp gaze, then drifted back up to meet her eyes.

“Nothin’ to apologise for,” he affirmed, shifting his stance.

“I didn’t mean any of it, I -”

“You did mean it,” he interrupted.

Juliet's denial died on her tongue.

In the dim torchlight, Juliet watched Joel work his jaw and let his eyes drift to the trees behind before they returned to her face.

“Saw it on your face when that clicker had you cornered in Cody,” he started, pausing to let go of her arm and run his hand over the bottom of his face. Juliet felt cold without his touch. She feared where this conversation would take them. “Looked like you were givin’ up.”

Juliet’s breath caught in her throat. She wanted to shake her head, deny every bit of dread in the pit of her stomach, deny every terrible, selfish thought in her head… But she couldn’t, she couldn’t lie to Joel. Not after everything.

Juliet looked away, asking the trees for help as she whispered her next words. “What’s left for me Joel? I was supposed to die. I was ready to die -”

Joel’s rough fingers found her cheek and tilted her face back up to his. “Don’t” he ordered, his pupils flaring. “If you’d died…” he trailed off, closing his eyes for a moment.

Juliet held her breath.

“When we found you, I thought you were dead,” Joel breathed, his words a whisper in the wind. Juliet thought she had imagined them, until he continued. “Your head was turned at this sick angle and you were so still. There was so much blood.”

Juliet’s hands started shaking again.

Joel held her gaze as he worked his jaw, gritting his teeth hard. “You’ve no idea what that did to me,” he ground out, his words slow and heavy.

“I lost it. Saw red. Just started punchin’”

She flinched, imagining her father’s face at the mercy of his fist. Juliet glanced down at his knuckles, still cracked and red.

“I’d brought you there. I’d got you killed,” he announced, his voice clear and steady.

“No -” Juliet tried to interrupt. Juliet had orchestrated her return home entirely herself, Joel had no part in her fate.

He squeezed her arm firmer for a moment before easing his grip entirely. Juliet’s mouth hung open, desperate to deny his claims.

“You were my responsibility. Mine to protect, and I failed you,” he said, his voice cracking on the last words.

He paused, letting the moment stretch out between them.

“There was a time I thought I’d lost everythin’, when I thought it was the end for me,” Joel said quietly. Then he swallowed rough, as though the words were choking him. His voice was a candle in the dark, an anchor in a storm, and she was caught in it.

“I couldn’t see the point anymore, simple as that,” he continued with a slight shake of his head. “And I wasn’t scared either. I was ready.”

“Couldn’t have been more ready,” he insisted.

Juliet’s hand found his wrist, and she squeezed, desperately reminding her that he was still there with her.

“When I pulled the trigger, I flinched.”

Juliet froze, every muscle in her body locked up. She struggled to see Joel’s face through the pool of tears in her eyes threatening to spill down her cheeks at any moment.

“Still don’t know why,” he clarified, with a shrug. Then his fingers found her chin again, and he soothed small circles into her skin.

“The reason I’m tellin’ you all this -”

“I know why,” Juliet insisted with a whisper. And she did. Joel could read her mind, could understand her deepest fears better than herself. Of course he saw where her mind was heading. Of course he took her words seriously.

She leaned into his touch, closing her eyes. “I just don’t know if I have the energy anymore, Joel,” she admitted as the tears finally fell.

A muscle jumped in his jaw, and he titled his head down towards her. “You gotta find it. You gotta find somethin’ to live for’” he said, his voice dark and husky.

“Stay with me,” he murmured into her hair after a long moment.

Juliet let Joel’s confession wash over her. Her mind was still filled with monsters and gripped by a terror she didn’t think she’d ever escape. It would be so easy to sit against that tree again, let the roots sink in, allow the moss to cover her and fade away into nothing but a memory.

It would be so easy to die.

This world wasn’t made for the living anymore, it was designed to hurt and maim and kill. Juliet could so easily let it.

Yet at every turn in the road, fate had saved her. She had been forced back onto the path which eventually led her to this moment, to this decision. In the back of her mind, she recalled an old poem she’d found tucked into one of her father’s bibles.

Juliet could no longer just exist, she had to make a decision. Choose a path. Choose to live. Choose to hope for something better, something worth living for.

She inhaled a breath, her head still cradled by the feeling of Joel’s chin against her hair.

Juliet didn’t have a home anymore. But maybe she could make a new one.

As she released the air trapped in her lungs, her head tipped downwards and Joel followed her movement.

She nodded.

Juliet had chosen her path.

……………………………………………..

The next day, Juliet’s steps were quicker, more urgent.

She hadn’t spoken to Ethan, she still needed time. But the three of them crossed rivers and fields, and Juliet, for the first time in a long while, felt that seed of hope plant itself within her.

Juliet walked side by side with Joel, their arms occasionally brushing against each other, but he didn’t move away, and neither did she. Whatever was between them was still unspoken, but Juliet found she enjoyed the unacknowledged whispers of their accidental touches.

So, when morning shifted into the afternoon and they spotted something moving in the distance, Juliet didn’t hesitate to grab Joel’s arm, to wrap her hand around his wrist.

But as the figures moved closer, Juliet was more confused than frightened.

With a gasp, she realised what was headed towards them.

“Horses.”

________________________________

@amyispxnk @shotgun-shelby @http-paprika

#joel miller #joel miller x female oc #joel miller x reader #joel miller x original character #joel miller x oc #joel miller hbo #joel miller fic #joel miller fanfic #joel miller angst #ao3 fanfic #tlou #the last of us #joel tlou #the last of us hbo #Spotify #pedro pascal

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the-stress-express · 17 days

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Attention Hazbin Hotel Fanfiction Enjoyers!!

I have a snack for y’all!!

I’m in the process of writing the first chapter of my new Hazbin fic and I wanted to give you, my Lovelies, a sneak peek of the dialogue. (Although, it looks more like a script at the moment). Eh, whatevs.

——————

It’s going to be mostly centred around Lucifer, Michael, Sera, and Emily (although, other Hazbin characters, both canon and non-canon, will be in it as well).

For example, I will be including God in this fic. And I will say right now that my characterization and representation of God is NOT meant to be taken as religiously accurate or anything like that. You don’t have to like it, but I do ask that you please remain respectful in voicing your opinions.

Anyway…

Once I have most of it (or at least a few chapters) finished, I will be posting it on Archive Of Our Own (Ao3). I may also post it here for those who don’t use Ao3.

But without further ado, you can find my sneak peak under the cut. It’s a bit long but I hope you guys like it.

Enjoy, Lovelies!

START OF PEEK

Sera: Come now, Michael, pick up the pace. We mustn’t be late.

Michael: *Groans and yawns* Sera, where are we going again? Why are we going anywhere so EARLY? Heaven’s not even awake yet.

Sera: *Sighs quietly* I told you five minutes ago, Michael. This is the third time you’ve asked me now. *slighty raises an eyebrow with a frown*

Michael: Oh… right. *Looks down at the ground, looking a bit crestfallen*

*Sera turns back away from Michael as they continue walking, seemingly oblivious to his saddened state.*

Sera: Michael, this behaviour cannot continue. You must improve your listening. As Father’s Angel of Justice, one of His most important angels, someday you will be part of the Heavenly Council, the ones who are responsible for keeping Heaven safe and balanced. So, you need to take your role seriously. You should know that by now.

Michael: *frowns and stops walking, feeling embarrassed* I was listening. I just… kept forgetting. I’m sorry. *tears form in his eyes as he fiddles with his sleeves* I-I do take my role seriously, Sera. I r-really do.

*Sera’s eyes widen as she realizes what she said to him. She had forgotten how sensitive he could be when it came to criticism and how much he often took things to heart. How could she be so blunt? Yes, he would need to learn to take criticism, but was still just a young child.*

*But most of all, how could she forget? She knows what Michael is like. Other than God, she’s been the one mostly raising him.*

*A couple tears begin to trail down Michael’s cheeks as he looks to the ground in shame. A frown washes over Sera’s face as she kneels down in front of Michael.*

*She sure feels guilty now. She made him cry. How dare she.*

Sera: Oh, Michael. Please don’t cry.

*She cups his face in her hands and wipes away his tears with her thumbs.*

Sera: Shh, it’s okay, honey. It’s okay. I’m sorry for getting upset at you. I didn’t mean to be so harsh. I just want you to be prepared to help govern Heaven in the future.

Michael: *sniffles* I know…

Sera: *Sighs* But even so, that is no excuse for accusing you of not listening and being careless on purpose.

Michael: *sighs and sniffles as he looks at the ground* I try act mature like you and the other angels. I try to listen when you all tell me things. I want to listen, but… I’m just too stupid.

Sera: *Gasps quietly* Oh… no, Michael… Michael look at me. Please. *He looks at her* Don’t say or even think anything like that ever again. That train of thought stops this instant. You are not stupid. You are smart, determined, and caring.

*Sera sighs slightly shamefully and closes her eyes*

Sera: You are also quite mature for your age, and I sometimes forget how young you are. That as much as you’ve grown, you are still a young fledgling.

Michael: *eyes widened* You forget things, too?

*Sera opens her eyes again and looks at Michael with a small, reassuring smile.*

Sera: Of course. Angels are some of Father’s greatest creations… but even we are not flawless. As much as we may try to avoid it, we will make mistakes. That’s just how it is. However, what’s important is being able to admit to our mistakes and to do our best to fix them. That is true divinity.

*Sera takes Michael’s hands in hers.*

Sera: So, again, I’m sorry for what I said and for getting upset. It was not your fault and it was not kind or fair of me to be hard on you and make you feel less than. You’re a child. You deserve to be treated with patience and dignity and shouldn’t be expected to behave as if you were an adult.

*A smile quickly spreads across Michael’s face as he finishes drying his face with his sleeve.*

Michael: That’s okay, Sera. I forgive you. *Jumps into Sera’s arms for a hug*

Sera: *smiles* Thank you, Michael.

*Sera hugs him back.*

Michael: Thanks, too. I’ll do my best to make Heaven proud.

Sera: You’re welcome, my little angel. I know you will bring honour to us all.

*More hug I guess lmao*

Michael: I love you, Sera.

Sera: I love you too, Michael. *breaks the hug with a smile and strokes his cheek lovingly before standing up* Now, come along. Father is waiting for us.

*Sera holds out her hand, offering it for Michael to take, which he quickly does. Realization then dawns on his face as his wings flap excitedly a couple times.*

Michael: Oh, yeah, that’s where we’re going. Father wants to show us something, right?

*Sera looks down at Michael with an endearing smile and nods.*

Sera: That’s right.

END OF PEEK

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spookdoodles · 9 months

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I meant to post these ages ago and kept forgetting about to.

Crown of Weeds is a zine a made a few years ago inspired by my various trips through graveyards. A lot of the illustrations are directly reference from photos I took or things I've seen. It's very niche but it's one of my favourite things I've ever made and I'm still really proud of it <3

I used to have a small amount of handmade physical copies of it but I sold them at cons/markets pre-pandemic. I'm attending Thought Bubble this year though so I'm thinking of having some printed for that.

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911ficletsnotnovels · 1 year

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Hello!

Welcome to the 9-1-1 Ficlets Not Novels Exchange!

You may have seen my post about this not too long ago and here we are!

To outline what we're doing here and why i'm running this; it is an exchange and a challenge. The 9-1-1 fandom (and many others,) focus so much on writing novella and novel length fanfiction - we all love it - but tend to forget just how powerful a few words can be and i'm trying to prove that 100 words is enough to bring joy, boost serotonin, break a heart, shock, awe, whatever you're trying to achieve!

So here's the challenge; you will submit two (2) one (1) word prompts along with a pairing or character(s) you would like those prompts to be filled for. You will also submit which pairings/character(s) you would like to write for. The prompts will be exchanged and you will write 100 words exactly to fill one (1) of your prompts.

You will not find out who you are writing for or who is writing for you until they are posted! Please do not share your prompts with anyone as you risk ruining the element of surprise!

Your ficlets can be submitted, in the submission box on this tumblr account at any time, up to and including the final submission day and will be posted by queue every half an hour. There will be more clarification on this in further posts closer to the time!

As I have done this before, if you write both prompts or write an entire fic around the prompt, please submit just one for the exchange and once you see your ficlet go up on posting day, post anything else you have written as a nice surprise for your giftee, ensuring to send links or posts here so that they can be reblogged and shared!

How it works & key dates;

Sign Ups begin right now - to sign up, fill in this form here ensuring all information is correct (and truthful!)

Sign Ups close on 18th February 2023

Prompts are distributed on 25th February 2023

Final submission day is 18th March 2023

Posting begins on 20th March 2023

Rules

This is for 9-1-1 only (sorry Lone Star folks. Someone is very welcome to run one of these for LS if the demand is there.)

This is open to everyone both over and under 18 but under 18s will be kept separate.

If you lie about your age you will be removed from the exchange.

This is meant to be fun and should be treated as such!

Be sure to message me if you have any concerns, worries, questions or even if you're just excited!

Hope to see you all sign up! Please spread the word!

#911 #911 on fox #fic exchange #fic event #911 100 word fic exchange

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sporkberries · 3 months

Note

What's annoying about mgs4? Is it the gameplay? I meant to ask this a few days ago when you made that post but I kept forgetting

mgs4 is annoying because it has a lot of REALLY GOOD THINGS. like the storyline around snake and his aging especially is so sad and so compelling and so interesting- but then theres... everything else. everytime i start getting really hyped and into it the game slaps me in the face with the most sexist stupid shit you could ever imagine, and your stuck dealing with that for an hour and all you can think about while the oversexualized female boss is moaning and groping snake is "wow i wish i was doing anything else rn" and "how was the writing thirty minutes ago so good and now im doing this shit"

as for gameplay its not my favorite but its not the worst either, i like the crosshair in the game alot and im glad they used the same one in peacewalker. also drebin is funny

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lysol1201 · 2 years

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💝Only Us - White Day💝 Lawrence x GN!Reader

Continuation of the Valentine’s Day one-shot

Sooooo, I wrote this for White Day a while ago. The Valentine's day one-shot and this one were for a mini event in the Dangerous Fellows discord server I made. (If you're interested in joining, DM me for the link!) I kept planning on posting this but then kept forgetting and almost wondering if it was too dark. I will put a trigger warning for this one!

An attempt at GN!Reader again, this was written when I first started making GN!Reader content, and was trying to figure out how to work with the holidays in their tradition while still keeping it GN. Thank you!

TW: Dark Content, Descriptions of Gore and Blood, Yandere stuff. If there is anything I missed, please let me know so I can add them!

Word Count: 976

++++

Since Valentine’s day, you, Lawrence, and the rest of the group have been getting to know each other again. But, it was like learning to love an entirely different person when it came to Lawrence since his turn of events.

And it was what it was. Love.

Lawrence didn’t have that fake authenticity anymore. Instead, he was kind, sweet, and genuine; he grew to become someone so bright and helpful and kind. Even in only a month, he had become such a respectable person.

Unfortunately, he was still under the equivalent of house arrest. But the day he was going to be free again was tomorrow.

White Day.

He had been planning that day since Valentine’s Day. Plotting, planning, thinking, writing, everything and anything he could do to ensure the day would be perfect. He’d no longer have the anklet tracking him; he could finally be alone with you and give you the gift he had so desperately worked hard on to win your heart.

“Hey,” Lawrence softly spoke when he walked up to you. “Do you want to spend White Day with me?” He was cute and straight to the point. You quickly fell in love with that smile he quickly flashed you.

You smiled wide at the boy, a slight blush creeping onto his face when he saw your smile grow. “I’d love to.”

“Hey, Ethan is going to teach us baseball. Do you guys want to join?” The redhead quickly crashed the moment between you and Lawrence. You didn’t mind.

It was all so good.

Too good.

++++

The next day was White Day. You were so giddy and excited. You practically jumped out of bed to prepare to spend the day with Lawrence. You couldn’t wait to see his face, and knowing him, being such a romantic, you couldn’t help but be hopeful of receiving a gift from him since you got him one.

“MC?” You heard outside of your tent. You hopped on over to open it up and let Lawrence in.

“Hey,” You quietly giggled, not entirely ready but still enough to bring such a sweet and smitten look to Lawrence’s face. “Was there anything specific you wanted to do today?”

“Yes, actually,” He adjusted his glasses. He seemed nervous.

“It’s okay,” You rubbed his arm, easing any nervousness he had within him. He instantly calmed down at your kind gesture, looking at you with love and adoration. He could stare at your face for ages.

“You look amazing, MC,”

You blushed. “You look amazing too, Lawrence,”

“I uh,” Lawrence cleared his throat. “I did get you a gift. Though it’s more of a presentation, it is a gift.” He confessed.

“Oh?” You looked at him curiously. He walked over to the entrance of the tent and closed it. “I don’t know whether to be excited or scared.” You chuckled, watching him walk back over to you with small strides.

“Thank you,” He spoke. “For Valentine’s Day. You have no idea how much that meant to me.”

The sincerity in his voice was genuine. Yet, you couldn’t stop feeling uneasy. The atmosphere almost didn’t feel safe. Lawrence would never hurt you. Would he?

“This is me returning the favor.” He smiled at you. Yet, the smile was different. It wasn’t the Lawrence you fell in love with, no.

This was the Lawrence who tried to kill everyone at the school to steal you away.

Almost immediately, from the tone of his voice, your eyes widened. You took a step back. He pouted at your fear.

“Don’t be scared, MC,” He stepped forward. “You know the musical you showed me a week after Valentine’s Day? Dear Evan Hansen, was it?” You nodded sheepishly, taking another step back, causing him to take another action forward. “My favorite song was the duet between Evan and Zoe. Only Us.”

He closed his eyes and let out a soft sigh, beginning to hum the melody before he started to sing.

“So what if it’s us,

What if it’s us,

And only us?”

And before you knew it, Lawrence slowly revealed a sharp object from his oversized puffer jacket as he gripped the handle and stepped closer to you, continuing to sing.

“And what came before,

Won’t count anymore,

Or matter.

Can we try that?”

Almost as if predicted, his strides towards you sped up to cover your mouth before you could scream. But you still tried calling even if he muffled the sounds. You even tried licking, biting or coughing into his hand to get him to pull away, but he wouldn’t budge.

“Come on, MC,” He softly spoke, getting closer to your ear.

“You and me,

That’s all that we need to be,

And the rest of the world falls away,”

Then suddenly, you felt a sharp pain go straight into your chest, right next to your heart, as a small chuckle escaped his lips as he continued to hum. Next, your eyes blurred as you felt something cold and wet dampen your shirt. The pain only worsened when it felt like he pushed something into you and then swayed side to side.

Back and forth, back and forth.

Was this what he had been so meticulously planning? What had he been studying? Was he studying anatomy?

To know exactly how to extract a human heart?

Before your consciousness fell from the pain, lack of blood and fear, the last words you heard were Lawrence completing the once sweet song.

“And it’s only us.”

It wasn’t long before Lawrence got caught. He wasn’t trying to hide that he won your heart just like he planned. As soon as he took hold of it, he stared at it with love. Lawrence exited the tent that your lifeless body lay in and presented his prize to everyone.

He won your heart.

#dangerous fellows #dangerous fellows lawrence #dangerous fellows x reader #dangerous fellows x mc #lawrence x mc #lawrence x reader #yandere lawrence

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kafus · 4 months

Note

i would super love to hear another cool pokemon story if there's one you wanna share!! literally anything; all your pokemon posts are so interesting and engaging to read ♡ also!!! i hope you're doing well and finding reason to smile each day

ogh THANK U i hope ur doing well as well

one of these days i might run out of stories 😭 BUT i don’t think i’ve talked about the pokemon competition i went to when i was around 8 years old??? and i’ve been thinking about that recently so why not

i’ve talked before about how my interest in pokemon as a young person was defined by loneliness/isolation and how i never really had the social pokemon experience that most people did, so the few times i actually got to interact with other people over the shared interest stick out very strongly in my brain. in particular when i was i Think 8 years old, there used to be a small family-owned video game store in my town (it shut down a long time ago unfortunately, i miss it) and they ran events sometimes. i managed to find out they were running a singles competition in pokemon battle revolution, and my mom actually agreed to taking me

it’s important to keep in mind that i was like 8 and i didn’t know shit about competitive battling. i loved sinnoh and had pokemon i thought were strong but at this time i didn’t even know natures affected stats. i was an inexperienced little girl and i just brought my team of in-game guys that i liked. amusingly i was the only girl there, i just remember walking in and being surrounded by boys LOL both my age and older, like there were some older teens and maaaybe adults idk

anyway all things considered i actually got decently far because competitive mons was much more niche back then and no one knew what they were doing LMAO. i was mostly pitting my in-game mons against other kids’ in-game mons. i knew type matchups by heart and had some pretty decent pokemon to my memory - i don’t remember my entire team but i know i had torterra and articuno at least (articuno was one of my favorite pokemon at the time)

eventually i was… like… idk right before semi finals? i wasn’t quite in the top 4, i think i was in the top 8? i went up against an older boy who actually knew what he was doing and had a genuine competitive team. i’m not sure how old he actually was, at the time anyone above the age of 13 looked like an adult to me lol, i’m guessing in retrospect he was 17 or something. he THOROUGHLY kicked my ass with fucking BLISSEY TOXIC STALL lmao. at the time i was dumbfounded at how his blissey just took no fucking damage and it’s really funny being able to understand what happened in retrospect, i kept bringing my special attackers not being aware of blissey’s extremely lopsided defensive stats.

you’d think i would have been upset about losing but i was moreso really impressed with this guy’s blissey, and then smth i’ll never forget, after i lost he shook my hand and looked at me in the eyes and said that i did a good job and that i should keep playing pokemon because he thinks from the way that i played that i had a lot of potential. i was literally over the moon, it meant so much to be acknowledged with full seriousness by someone so much older than me who also lest we forget literally just beat my ass with toxic stall lol. having my interest in pokemon validated and being told i was good at it just made my entire week. or month. or year tbh.

nowadays that i’m a ribbon master mod and going to my first regionals next month, i think about that guy a lot. perhaps i was a late bloomer but i think whatever he saw in me was real. not that i’m the best pokemon player ever or something, and i’m certainly still learning a lot about vgc in particular, but like. yeah i do really care about this game and i think i have the potential to be good at it. and it was prophesized long agodjdjdk

always be nice to kids cause small gestures like that can stick with someone for the rest of their life tbh

#kiki was here #asks #kira-kira-kitty #pokemon #dppt #pbr

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chr0macide · 2 months

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me waking up rn

glad people like the oc, I was lowkey worried I drew for a week just for the post to flop lol, thanks for all the nice reblogs and comments 💜 I keep meaning to make a general thank you post but I kept getting excited about posting more stuff and forgetting so I guess this is it lol. thanks for all the support on my art and my fanfic and everything. ghostlyallergictomyself called me famous a while ago and it caught me off guard, I thought we were all just some cool break in fans chilling together lmao. I know I rarely ever reply but I literally smile like an idiot irl whenever someone on here says anything about me or my posts at all, I am just too awkward to say anything back most of the time lol. luv u all 💜💜💜

I also keep forgetting to drop my roblox username even though I meant to do that ages ago, it's @Chromacide add mmeeeeee

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romanticizedlife-patchnotes · 8 months

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*Patch Notes 8/22/23*

A lot has happened. Many improvements have been been made that probably deserve their own posts. Did a lot of back sliding, attempts at recovery, and more back sliding. Also kept forgetting this blog existed.

CURRENT GOALS:

Clean and organized apartment

Time and suitable environment to focus on art

Being caught up enough on responsibilities and housework that I can feel comfortable spending time on video games and anime

Making a less stressful environment for my cats

Time for and Accessibility of Proper Nutrition

Get to bed earlier

Get up when my alarm goes off

Toying with the idea of setting up an online shop for like stickers and junk

Stuff Done Yesterday & Today:

Clean and organized apartment

Stacked the white boards and cork boards that have been floating around the apartment since I moved in neatly behind the recliner in the living room. I won't have to move them again unless I'm (finally) putting them up.

Made progress cleaning in kitchen

Made progress cleaning in study

Slapped a label saying "SPARE PARTS" on a drawer of a plastic storage unit in my basement so, once I find where they are, all the little baggies of spare hardware/accessories/parts for various appliances and pieces of furniture (THAT I HAVE BEEN SO GOOOD AT LABELNG. WHERE ARE THEY?!) will have a home. Baggies Found: 5/??

Slapped a "MANUALS" label on another drawer so now I have a place for them too

Arranged the shelving units in the basement so I can actually see and access shit easily

Time and suitable environment to focus on art

Cleared off the folding table that's been piled with papers and junk for 6 months

Cleared off my desk

Cleared off most the floor of my study

Drew plans for a U-Shaped desk that I think would help. Not sure if I'm going for it. Won't have a chance to build it until late September anyway.

My current desk has a riser shelf that I took off a while ago, thinking it would give me more useable space (it did not). I have a worklight I bought at goodwill a couple weeks ago that I intended to use for a workbench I'm most likely not going to build. It just fits under the riser, but its power cord comes out the center of the back, which puts it at odds with the riser support bar. So I drilled a hole in the riser support bar. I don't think the bits I have are meant to be used on metal, but I got it to work somehow. And after some hack-sawing and filing, and some more hack sawing and filing because I didn't account for the nut at the base of the power cord, it works pretty well!

Rearranged my furniture a bit. Trying an L-shaped desk set up

Being caught up enough on responsibilities and housework that I can feel comfortable spending time on video games and anime

Put on an episode of anime while eating lunch

Finally tumbled and folded the sheets that have been in the dryer for, like, two weeks

Washed a load of darks

Making a Less Stressful Environnment for my Cats

Cleared floor space in living room, kitchen and study

Moved chair I was going to donate back into kitchen so they can sit with me instead of me moving them off my chair

Making effort to clean/rearrange things in a calmer fashion so Maou freaks out less

Time for and Accessibility of Proper Nutrition

Washed a shit ton of dishes, focusing on the takeout containers I use for ready-made meals

Cleaned the fridge out. Got rid of food that had gone bad (oh god it was gross) and washed off spills

Made a start on organizing cabinets so I can find the dishes and containers need when i need them.

Cooked rice, chicken, and vegetables and arranged them in microwavable containers so I can h eat them quick later

Get to bed earlier

Brought in water bottles from car and stocked under bed

Put empty water bottles in recycling

Cleared a bunch of stuff that's been covering the floor for ages

Moved my headboard power strip to the other side so I can have my white noise machine and bed lamp closer to my head

Get up when my alarm goes off

Set up an anime I really want to rewatch on DVD player in kitchen, so I can watch it while eating breakfast. Hoping this motivates me to get ouut of bed.

Logged into Crunchyroll on android box for the same reason. Looking for HiDive password.

Toying with the idea of setting up an online shop for like stickers and junk

Made a vague plan. Most of it depends on me actually neatly finishing art on purpose. Im good at making art. Finishing art neatly and on purpose are my weak points (My strong point is bullshit that looks pretty good). Should probably revisit this idea when I'm further along with "Time and suitable environment to focus on art"

#rl-pn #did a lot. now i have to draw and then i get to play zelda.

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syphixdraws · 1 year

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I drew Ditzy from my friend @simplesimperey 's upcoming project, Hunt and Thrill! I meant to post this ages ago, but I kept forgetting.

#art #artists on tumblr #digital art #digital artist #hunt and thrill official

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cinnamongorll · 5 months

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a fragile line - chapter 2

read on ao3! (111k words) | previous chapter | next chapter | masterlist

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female OC

Fic synopsis: three years ago, Juliet escaped her father's religious survivor camp, ending up in the Boston QZ. Juliet created a life for herself in Boston, desperate to forget the trauma of her upbringing. One day, Juliet arrives home to find a mysterious letter which forces her to return to her home town. Juliet can't travel the harsh post-apocalyptic landscape alone, so she enlists the help of the grumpy and, at times, frightening man she works alongside: Joel Miller.

Word count: 2.4k

Chapter 2: ‘Put It On Me’

Joel Miller: cold, aloof, and famously uncharitable.

Not a man you could ask for a favour. Especially not to join a stranger in a highly dangerous and potentially deadly journey across the country.

But Joel, despite his reputation, was not a god, he was only a man and that meant he could be bribed or blackmailed, perhaps.

Drugs or alcohol were not an option. Despite being the most sought after product in the Qz, Joel wouldn’t be interested. He was the one who sold them.

A dull ache had begun to spread across the back of Juliet’s skull. She dropped her head onto the table and felt the sweat coating her skin stick to the glossy paper of the map.

The spiral turning in her mind started to pick up speed again, her darkest thoughts now gripping her lungs. Juliet forced herself to take a deep breath, and another, and another. Her father knew where she was now, she had to get out of her apartment and out of the QZ, fast.

Juliet thought back to every interaction she could remember having with Joel, every time their eyes met or every time he looked away too quickly. Joel was impenetrable, always holding his thoughts close to his chest.

Juliet sat up quick, her hand instantly reaching to her forehead to calm the wave of dizziness that washed over her.

She remembered something:

Abe, a kind but pliant man, worked the radio for the QZ and held ‘office hours’ on weekdays. Anyone in Boston who wanted to contact another QZ waited in a large queue in the dusty hallway outside Abe’s apartment.

Not Joel, though.

Juliet was walking through the building a few days ago when she shuffled past the line of bored residents. With no intention of stopping, she kept her head down and avoided eye-contact, as always. Her pace slowed, however, when she heard a familiar name. Juliet turned her head and noticed two men complaining, not very discreetly, about Joel:

“This isn’t the first time he’s done this,” grumbled a tall man who leaned against the peeling wallpaper.

His friend grunted and moved closer, “he just walks past, skipping the whole line like we ain’t even here” he replied, rolling his eyes.

The tall one snorted, “As if he’s the only bastard in Boston who needs to use the radio.”

Juliet paused, now incredibly interested in the conversation of the two whining men. Joel was sending messages out of the QZ? To who?

Juliet continued to walk past the queue and rounded the corner until she could safely tuck into a dark corner and attempt to catch a glimpse inside Abe’s apartment/office.

There he was. Joel Miller, sliding a piece of crumpled tin foil across Abe’s desk.

It didn’t take a genius to know what was inside.

Joel sat forward, his elbows now resting on the dark oak as he watched Abe open the silver package. She was only able to catch a glimpse of his profile but Juliet could still make out the hard clench of Joel’s jaw, locked in place, as he waited for Abe to take a puff.

They started to talk and Juliet inched forward, careful to remain in the shadow of the corner, but she was too far away to hear any part of the conversation. It was clear it wasn’t going well - for Joel, at least.

Seconds later, Joel abruptly rose from his chair, the screech of metal rang out along the hallway, and he stalked out of the apartment without looking back. Terrified she might be caught snooping, Juliet was gone before he reached the doorway.

Juliet shook her head, she had forgotten all about that strange observation, having been immediately caught up in another Firefly ambush when she left the building.

Now though, the memory flushed her body with adrenaline. She sat up straight, the ache in her head had begun to recede. A plan started to take form in her mind, the different puzzle pieces clicking together. There was someone important to Joel outside of the QZ. If she found out who that was, she could use that information to her advantage.

That meant she had to pay a visit to Abe.

Unfortunately, he didn’t share intel for free.

Juliet turned to the window on her right, the glass was clouded, aged with the building. Still, Juliet could make out the dark blue sky as night rapidly descended on Boston. Shock had dulled the passage of time, the minutes silently passing around her.

Juliet walked to her cupboard, her steps quick as she grabbed her hidden backpack filled with supplies ready to be used at a moment’s notice. With one last mournful look at her apartment, Juliet made her way across the hall to Kenny’s door, the neighbour who didn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

He broke into her apartment on more than one occasion. It was only fair she repaid the favour.

Juliet pulled a hair pin from the inside pocket of her jacket and started to work on Kenny's rusted lock. Her neighbour was notorious for arriving back home seconds before curfew, always narrowly missing the enforcers. So Juliet had some time, less than an hour to be exact.

Seconds later, Juliet heard the familiar metallic pop and she was in. Similar to most in the QZ, Abe was very receptive to bribes. She had witnessed it first hand when Joel expertly slid that tinfoil in his direction and Juliet watched a lazy grin glide over Abe’s face.

Good thing Juliet knew someone else Joel sold to and good thing that person was stupid enough to leave his supply on his dining table where anyone with a hair pin could find it. The small, chalky white tablets were now safely tucked in her jacket pocket.

Juliet made her way out of the apartment, cringing as the old linoleum creaked under her cautious steps. She took the time to lock the door behind her before tiptoeing down the stairs and past Margaret’s apartment. Juliet prayed no shadows under Margaret’s door announced her departure from the building.

Outside, the streets were quiet, most residents of the QZ probably now tucked away in their apartments. A peaceful night of relative safety was taken from Juliet the second she picked up that letter.

She was on borrowed time anyways, Juliet always knew her father would find her eventually.

Tendrils of doubt and fear threatened to creep back into her mind and destroy the numbness which currently clouded her thoughts. As she moved through the murky streets, Juliet wasn’t just racing against time.

When she arrived at Abe’s building, Juliet sacrificed a precious moment to rest her back against the red brick wall and let her eyes fall closed. Juliet was not a naturally hostile person, she always prioritised indifference in her daily interactions. But she was a survivor, which meant that she would do anything, be anything to ensure her safety and the survival of the people she loved. Meaning, for Ethan, she would wear a mask of hostility.

She entered the building and hugged shadows to Abe’s apartment. Juliet didn’t wait for an invitation to enter before she stalked through the unlocked door.

“Abe, I need a word,” Juliet declared, she kept her voice clipped and steady.

Abe stood by the radio and turned quickly at the sound of Juliet’s entrance. A puzzled expression took over his face, his mouth turned downwards.

“Juliet? What are you doing here? It’s almost curfew,” he said, his voice cushioned with a cautious tone.

When Juliet just stared back, Abe released a heavy sigh and walked over to his desk. He pushed back his chair and dropped himself into the padded leather.

“Take a seat,” Abe huffed as he pointed across his desk at the vacant chair.

Juliet approached at a leisurely pace as she took the seat opposite him. She placed her backpack on the floor, leaned forward in her chair and placed her elbows on the table. Then she straightened her back, attempting to imitate the air of intimidation she had witnessed from Joel.

“I’ll keep this short,” Juliet asserted. “I need information about Joel Miller.”

Abe’s furrowed brow deepened, confusion now etched in the fine lines of his face.

“Joel?” He asked, before sighing.“I don’t deal in information, Juliet. I just listen to the radio,” Abe replied, dismissal clear in his tone, as he shifted in his chair, moving to stand.

“Stop,” Juliet commanded. She raised her left hand and willed it to stay steady as she reached her right hand into her pocket, pulling out the pills. Just like Joel, Juliet locked eyes with Abe as she slid the contraband.

A smug smile twitched at the corner of her mouth as she leaned back in her chair, folding her arms over chest.

“Like I said,” Juliet maintained, stretching out the words, giving Abe time to make the right decision. “I need information on Joel Miller.”

Abe stared back at her and for a moment, one terrifying moment, Juliet thought he would throw the pills back at her. But no, Abe’s irritated expression eventually transformed into a sly smile to match her own.

“Okay. What do you want to know?” he asked, already reaching for the drugs.

Relief was sudden and intense, it settled deep in her stomach and relaxed her tight muscles. Juliet was careful to not let it show on her face.

“I know he has someone on the outside he’s contacting,” she paused.“I want to know who.”

Abe whistled low then tossed back one of the pills with a swig of water.

“Well, that’s a whole can of worms,” he replied.

Juliet raised her eyebrows and made a vague gesture with her hand - go on.

“He’s got a brother,” Abe began, swallowing rough.

Once again, Juliet willed her features to remain neutral, to show no sign of the shock now coursing through her body. A brother?

“He stopped responding to Joel’s messages about three weeks ago,” Abe continued.“Not like him, he usually replies within a couple days. Got Joel all worried.”

It was Juliet’s turn to be confused. Joel, worried? Juliet had yet to see a glimmer of emotion on the man’s face. He was always so stoic, always so detached. It was a surprise to hear there was someone he cared about, someone he worried about.

Unaware of the turmoil that raged behind Juliet’s steady features, Abe continued to speak as he rambled something about Joel’s accusation of his incompetence. Juliet collected this new information about Joel and held it close as though it was the key to getting to Ethan. It might well be.

“I told Joel not to go after him, that it might just be a fault in the signal. But of course he wouldn’t listen,” Abe muttered, rolling his eyes.

Juliet perked up, tuning back into the conversation… Joel needed out of the QZ.

“Where does his brother live?” coaxed Juliet, attempting to exude only vague curiosity.

“Wyoming,” Abe replied, shaking his head. “He can’t be serious if he thinks he can travel that far alone…” he trailed off, resting his hands on the desk in front of him.

Wyoming… Juliet’s fledgling plan became a concrete shape, igniting a flicker of hope within her. Her old community, her father’s community, was in Iowa. After years of studying old maps, Juliet was almost sure that it was about halfway between Boston and Wyoming.

This could work.

“Is he planning on going alone?” Juliet asked, eagerness seeping into her tone.

Abe’s eyebrows shot up. “Yes, he’s been dealing for a car battery, no luck though. He can’t wait around much longer,” he replied.

Juliet nodded as she placed her sweaty palms on the dark wood of the desk and pushed herself out of her chair, grabbing her backpack.

Abe leaned back, rolling a pill between his fingers.

“Juliet… Joel’s a capable guy but there are worse things than infected out there. I hear everything on the radio. There are raiders, there are slavers…” he trailed off again.

Juliet knew this all too well.

“I appreciate the concern, Abe, but that’s not what I paid you for,” cautioned Juliet. “Keep this quiet,” she warned, turning towards the door and out of the building.

She didn’t look back.

Outside, curfew was now in place so Juliet pulled her hood up and moved silently through the dark streets. The pressure in her chest was slowly building through her entire conversation with Abe. Now, it threatened to burst. Juliet stopped on a corner and tucked herself into an alleyway. The rain had started, it splashed off the pavement and dampened her jeans. Juliet’s skin was buzzing, electrified by the string of new information about Joel.

For years, Joel was a mystery. Juliet had learned more about Joel in that five minute conversation with Abe than she had in the three years they worked alongside each other, and now she had to use her newfound knowledge against him.

Juliet had no other choice. She would use Joel’s desperation to sedate her own.

Juliet looked up towards the night sky, letting the rain glide over her skin. She took a long breath, licked the water from her lips and moved out of the alley. Juliet danced along the sides of buildings as she headed towards Joel’s apartment.

She had watched him head home a few times after their shifts, his apartment in the same direction as her own. This time, though, it appeared before her so suddenly that she had to force herself to stop, to calm her racing heartbeat as she made her way to the front door.

Shivering, Juliet gripped the door handle into the building, turning it open as her heart continued to pump more adrenaline straight into her gut.

Juliet stalked up to Joel’s apartment, releasing a trembling breath from her damp lips. This was all happening too fast, the puzzle pieces forming her plan had clicked together so quickly. All she could focus on was the bigger picture. But what about the smaller details? What would she say to Joel? Would he even recognise her? Should she knock the door and risk his neighbours hearing her?

Juliet didn’t have to agonise over those thoughts for long. Without warning, the rapid sound of multiple locks consecutively turning reverberated through the dark hallway, before the door swung open.

Joel Miller stood before her, one hand on the handle, the other on the chipped wood of the entryway. Juliet released a strangled gasp, her eyes widened at the sight of his permanent scowl and furrowed brow.

“Juliet?”

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