#me: stares at my new blog

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

No time to play. You are being sent away.

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#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #yu ziyuan #jiang yanli #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #Do you know how hard it was to *not* do a 'Sold To One Direction' spoof comic? It took nearly all my will power. #Mostly because it misaligns a little too far off from the canon events and vibes. #But sit with me for a moment. Consider it: #“BEEP BEEP BEEP. I threw my pillow at my alarm clock. ”Wei Wuxian get your lazy ass downstairs!“ Yu Ziyuan yelled. #I ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror to see my grey orbs staring back at me. #I put my long straight black hair in a ponytail with a red ribbon. #I went downstairs to see my adoptive mother holding a bottle of vodka and a cigarette. #'Listen up whore! I need money to pay the bills so I sold you. Your new owners will be here any minute so go pack!' #I stormed upstairs. There was no way I was going to let her sell me to a creepy old man! #I decided to run away. Since I'm not like other girls I don't have very many friends. #My gay friend Lan Zhan was mean but he lived like a block away. #As I opened the door I saw Wen Chao blocking the door. 'Ello Love. We're your new owners!' #I rolled my eyes and pushed him. 'Aren't you from that stupid Wen Sect? There's no way in hell I'm going with you!' #Hey again. It's me the OP of this blog taking a pause. I haven't actually read this story before aside from the memes #and I am honestly reeling from how this watpad fic chapter ends. What do you mean one of the one direction boys chloroforms her??? #Chapter 2 is so much worse #Why is there such a strong focus on the *eyes* of every boy!!! #This fanfic is a horror story actually. I came into it trying to make a funny parody but I got in over my head. Dear God. #It's me again. Several minutes have passed and I'm on chapter 4. What the FUCK is going on here? #I feel like I opened up pandora's box hoping for a fun little treat and got the plauge upon me. Dont read this fic.

[lesborepo]

whoe’er i woo, myself would be his wife.

(redraw of this picture)

#quote is from twelth night bc of the reference pic (which makes me insane /pos) #reanimator #herbert west #dan cain #meg halsey #re animator #bride of reanimator #daniel cain #megan halsey #danbert #art #mine #needle #needles #this is like the second time ive ever drawn ppl kissing. LMAO #tried some new stuff w the shading and lighting. hopefully it turned out good #idk. i gotta stop staring at this and jsut post it. #watermark is my main blogs url. im not stealing i promise

[katabay]

ALRIGHT after some technological mishaps (laptop charger needed fixed), the first round of check in commission updates should be heading to the relevant email inboxes over the weekend! there are still some emails I need to reply to, and I’m aiming to get those done over the next couple of days as well, but at long last it should be smooth sailing from here on out :)

#me staring at PayPal: please. please let this be smooth sailing from here on out #commission updates tag #in the future I will do these kinds of things exclusively via email I just hate gmail so much rn I’m going to try and switch to proton #after this so that my communications system doesn’t look like a nightmare. I have an extremely clown car circus set up rn #until I can save up for a new laptop (I’m borrowing one that’s 10 yrs old) #so VERY TEMPORARILY I will use my blog as a public message board until I get everything organized

[whumpacabra]

The Target

Angst, back from the dead, memory loss, amnesia, guilt, implied past abandonment, referenced past captivity and torture, referenced past illness, therapy mention

[Directly follows Tea]

The set up was cliche for a reason: it worked. No fancy equipment, as few moving parts as possible, and complete deniability. Jackson had taken the target to a small tea shop in the heart of the city. Crowded but not too busy. Bribing the waiter to sit the pair behind her table was easy.

The hard part was resisting the urge to turn around and look at him -

(She needed to be patient. Even if it was her Wolf back from the dead, she wasn’t sure her presence would be soothing.)

(…)

(If it was her Wolf, if Ghost had left him for dead, if he had survived all these years - would he hate her? Would he forgive Ghost?)

“You’re looking well, East.”

“Thanks. Helps to not be half dead and sick as a dog.”

The voice was…wrong. Too gravelly, too low - the accent though, the cadence of his words…oh, how desperately she wanted to believe it was him. A waiter brought her the tea she had ordered, creamy and warm and sweet. She didn’t have the stomach for it, thinking about the target behind her.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been around lately. I know it must have been a…rough adjustment.”

The man behind Liza scoffed.

“It’s been…an adjustment, to be sure.” He sighed, voice softening. “But I’m…doing better. Thanks to you - ”

“Oh, don’t you dare give me credit. That’s all you. And Nate, of course. I just dropped you at the door and left.”

“You didn’t have to. Help me, I mean.” East clearly meant to elaborate, but a waiter came by to take their order. Liza forced herself to swallow a few sips of her drink. She told herself she didn’t shiver at his coffee order - it didn’t mean anything, anyone could enjoy black coffee and four sugar cubes without milk.

“Speaking of, helping you, how’s Judy been?”

“Helpful.” The word was clipped and professional, but East worked some levity into his voice as he continued. “Starting to feel like a real person again.”

“I’m glad.” The warmth in Jackson’s voice almost took Liza off guard. So sickeningly tender and genuine. “You have no idea how relieved I am that you’re - ”

He cut himself off, their drinks served by an unwitting waiter. There was the clatter of tea cups and coffee mugs and sugar stirred with honey.

“Careful, it’s hot.”

“I know - it’s still good.”

“How can you tell with it burning your tastebuds off?” Jackson’s amused huff and East’s chuckling sigh only made the pang of nostalgia all the louder in Liza’s heart. Wolf (her Wolf) never waited for his coffee to cool; too impatient to wait - he always claimed it tasted worse once it cooled to a drinkable temperature.

“I’m glad you’re back, Jackson.” East’s voice was still warm, but there was a tension under his words. “How have you been? Is everything…alright?”

“Fine. I’m doing just fine - happy to be home, if I’m quite honest.” Jackson’s reply was immediate and open, but dreadfully vague. “Everything’s just fine.”

Liza couldn’t see East’s reaction behind her, but whatever it was compelled Jackson to continue. She could almost see him, in her mind’s eye: her Wolf…a decade younger, face pinched in worry - always worried - and eyes bright with determined preparation for every scenario.

“Things are dying down. Americans are keeping to themselves for once, and it’s looking like a cold case.” Jackson’s voice was almost too quiet to hear, but Liza could practically feel the tension bleed from the man behind her. “Almost out of the woods - just some finalized paperwork and seals of approval.”

“And what happens…after?”

Liza stared down at her tea, trying to picture it. The great and terrifying Ghost - who swore off apprentices after losing his first, his last - being told the man that was practically his son had survived. (Had been abandoned.) Wolf - who went through a hell at the hands of the enemy, who spent years abandoned and alone - survived and he could come home. (To a stranger in his room and the dog he loved long dead.)

(Her one regret in her life burned bright in her throat - oh, how he would have loved to meet Casey. How different things could have been if Wolf was around to protect her boy.)

“After…we get you home.”

“Which is?” East (Wolf?)’s whisper was hoarse, laced with a sad desperation that broke Liza’s heart. Jackson had told her he might have - she didn’t really think, she hoped -

(She was a fool, always blinded by hope and it’s empty promises.)

“I - I thought you said things were going well with Judy - ”

“Nevermind. Your tea’s getting cold.“ It was like a switch had flipped, words suddenly steady and strong. Whatever fledgling hope Liza had that this was her Wolf, that he could come home, died in her chest.

(Wolf hadn’t had a home to come back to in along time.)

“Hey, I just - East…it’s fine. We said it would probably take some time. We’re not in any rush - ”

“You seem to be.” There was a thin bite to the words, defensive but still smothered in that muted parody of nonchalance. “I don’t know. I don’t really want to. It sucks to think about. I thought maybe you…figured something out that I couldn’t.”

“East…love, I - ”

“It’s fine. I like my job. I like my friends. Think Al and I might get a flat together - rent’s too high to not have roommates in this economy.” East’s sigh was decisive, a harsh swallow before he continued. “I just - God, fuck - I like my life right now. And I don’t want to leave it all behind. But I know - I don’t know - what you need or, or want me to do in return for - ”

“Nothing. East, I’m not here to take you away I just - I didn’t know if you had somewhere else you’d rather be. But, if you’re happy here…I don’t see any reason for you to leave.”

“Really?”

(Why did the relief in his voice sound so much like a nail in the empty coffin they buried for him?)

Liza wanted to get sick; she stood up a bit too quickly, chair bumping into the man behind her. She pulled on the mask of a stranger, perfect and apologetic and calm, and looked a dead man in the eye.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry - ”

“No worries.”

Her heart dropped to her feet, his polite glance failing to betray recognition, even though she knew that face and those eyes so well, even a decade removed -

(He looked so much older than she remembered him. Tired. Contented. Scarred and worn by time and it’s ravages. Where was the soldier more boy than man she remembered? Where was his fiery eyes and burning passion? Where was his fight?)

(…)

(Was it better, she wondered, for him to live a life without that fight, that fire in his heart? God knew how it had burned her and everyone else who knew him when it was snuffed out.)

Liza took her leave, heart in her throat.

—

“Did you - ?”

“I don’t know him. This was a waste of my time.”

“I’m sorry - ”

“I’m sure you are.” Liza let her voice soften as she looked out at the rain hitting her hotel window. She sighed into the phone, speaking before she could regret it. “Agent Jackson?”

“Yes?”

“I don’t know this Wolf of yours, but it sounds like he’s having a pretty good life.” She almost paused, almost stopped to consider telling him the truth before deciding better of it. Liza was far more comfortable in a lie. “Don’t fuck it up looking for something he doesn’t need found.”

“…Thank you, Liza.”

She snapped the phone closed, and closed her eyes, remembering the face she knew on a man who didn’t know her.

It wasn’t worth unburying that empty casket. It wasn’t worth uprooting a good, clean civilian life. It wasn’t worth opening old wounds. Wolf was dead, as he had been for a decade. Liza needed to make sure he stayed dead, and that East stayed alive and well and untainted by the world he left behind.

[Before Smoke Break]

(Part of my Freelancers: Changing Tides series)

Taglist: @stargeode @sacredwrath @genuineformality

#whump #angst #back from the dead #memory loss #amnesia #guilt #abandonment #past torture #past captivity #past illness #therapy mention #freelancers #*squeezing Liza like a squeaky toy* her track record for deciding she knows what’s best for people in her life sucks so bad #but she keeps doing it because she cares too much to let anything be anyone’s fault but hers. #and east…oh east. this is just a random Tuesday for him. it’s the last time she’ll see the face of her friend and he doesn’t even know it. #I am unwell abt my own ocs. *autism creature stare* I just think they’re neat. #in other news it’s [redacted] today so. worst case scenario I’ll explain whatever the fuck keeps me away from the internet #whenever I can get back. best case scenario nothing happens and life goes on as usual for my blog schedule here. o7 #regardless just gotta get through the week and I’ll have a better bead on the risk level we’re looking at. #personal rambling done. mwah I love you people who read my goofy tags.

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

Never gonna give moth up

Never gonna let moth down

Never gonna run around and

Desert moth

did i just get moth rick rolled,,,

#chit chat #not really brainrot #anon #why would you do this to me... on my own blog... /j #i'm just kidding it got a good chuckle out of me #was reading this and i sat bolt upright and just stared for a minute #good ask 10/10 you're very funny :) #good evening :) #ALSO DID ANYONE ELSE SEE THE NEW GENSHIN EMOTES THERE'S A FOUL LEGACY ONE #AND AN ARLECCHINO ONE #I'M LOSING MY MIND

[killuaisaprincess]

#personal #STARES #I CANNOT #And note this wasn’t my og blog this my remade blog #IVE BEEN HERE SO LONG YEARS PASSING ME BYYYY OMG #Did I remake my blog on the 18th on purpose? I cannot recall #BUT THATS MY FAVE NUMBER #I LOVE KI AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #I LOVE GONKI AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #AND I LOVE KI IN DRESSES AHHHHHHH #I SHOULD POST MY NEW EDIT TODAY #BUT ITS NOT QUITE DONE SO AHHH

[vulpinesaint]

animated fox characters will trans a young child's gender in a Second

#staring up at fox robin hood on the screen going :O #great posts from tumblr user vulpinesaint #watching zootopia just a liiiiitttttllllleeee too old for it and putting so much effort into trying not to like nick wilde #fox maid marian is a classic obvi. Thee feminine icon #i'm like if fox robin hood and maid marian had a kid. does that track #IN TERMS OF GENDER. I SHOULD SAY #'i'm feminine on my mom's side and masculine on my dad's' but with those characters specifically #anthropomorphized fox character gender just always hits different. idk what it is. #i absolutely know what it is it's the sharp angles and edge of trickery. but that's all just the way of the world (foxes) #fox character from the bad guys is also good 👍 #more kids' movies with fox characters need to come out. i'll start a kin list that doesn't just have dean winchester on it #honorable mention to tod fox and the hound! haven't watched that movie since i was absolutely teeny and do not remember it #but he's so shaped. 10/10. poetry blog pfp #valentine notes #none of this is new information to anyone who knows me i'm sure. however i'm just now putting it all together so you all get to hear it #'bracken you're so obsessed with foxes how could you forget that you were obsessed with robin hood' i. am bad at remembering things

[cmpumkin]

Tatsumi keeps haunting my brain woooough

#tbf most enstars characters are #he's in my brain again I thought drawing him once would free me #i was wrong #cmpumkin speaks #im sorry to the new peeps staring at my art blog (thank you btw I am on the ground) Tatsumi will be drawn ar some point again

[clochanamarc]

tomorrow i plan to do some writing bc seriously, lads, where the hell is my writing gone??

#( OUT OF SOULS. ) #( me staring at my blog: w. what happen? ) #( i think rn i just need a new housemate ) #( bc i hate being miserable rn i hate this feeling ) #mobile.

[muzzlemouths]

Psst. Just wanted to let you know that you're cool and I hope you have a really nice day today! You seem to be Goin Through It™ and I just wanted to let you know that we (your followers) like you no matter the quantity of stuff you're able to make at any given time (though we most certainly do like what you make, but that's not why most of us stay, I believe); you're very funny and have insightful opinions about writing, and you're always super nice when I stop by to say hi! Please remember to be kind to your mind and heart this upcoming Spring. I hope The Delights come into your life in leaps and bounds, and that you'll receive good news soon!!! <33

ooh...ohh.h.....th.ank you for the kind words........

#ohhhh i fought long and hard to not just. keep this in my inbox so i could stare at it for days #when i first read this my initial reaction was ''oh god is it that obvious'' #''am i like crashing and burning in real time on this blog. live on tv'' #which..FAIR YEAH LMAO #to be 100% transparent here i actually haven't been on this blog all day BECAUSE i was having a day where I was just like. #ahaha my shit Sucks and everybody's just humoring me #comparison kills and i have been stabbing myself like its the ides of march lately #and the fact that i haven't put anything new out is half because of that i'm sure #like the mindset of ''if i post nothing at all then i can't compare it to [insert other authors here]'' #WHICH IS SOOOO STUPID I KNOW I KNOW #self sabotage is my middle name its a bad habit i'm fighting daily but it's HARD #this has just turned into a Whining Session oh no #there's a reason i moved all of this to tags lmao #ANYWAY ANYWAY. GENUINELY I WANT TO SAY THANK YOU #from the bottom of my heart asks like these keep me from going over the deep end #it amazes me each and every day that so many of you choose not only to follow me but to STAY despite my general shenanigans and thinly veil #like i'll have days (like today) where i'm on the floor kicking and screaming over NOTHING and y'all just sit back and wait for me to get m #and it makes me so genuinely soft. the patience and kindness you show me #i will try my HARDEST to be kind to my mind and heart i promise. I promise. #if not for myself than for everyone out there continuously showing their support for me despite The Horrors #and I hope you're right i hope The Delights are somewhere in view soon enough #lord knows we could all use 'em #thank you again #❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ #edit: oh tumblr cut off like half of these paragraphs #thats probably for the best. you can just guess what i said LMAO

[moghedien]

god yeah I had kinda forgotten how common RPing was in ToT and that being a big reason why I never really got involved with the twitter fandom

#*stares at my url in terror* #yeah if you're new here from twitter don't be trying to RP with me #I am not a WoT blog #this is a personal blog in which I will often obsesse over WoT but don't be doing like its twitter with me #like people sometimes unironically call me moghedien and like #I literally have my actual name in my bio don't call me moghedien or moggy if you are trying to have a genuine conversation with me #jokes are fine #I will occasionally joke post completely intentionally with my url but like #youll know when

[fourfuckinghorsemen]

Staring into a mirror feels less like staring at my reflection and more like staring into a memory. It's not me, but it's me. I hate it.

#I'm staring at someone. But they're not me. #It's like they're wearing my face? #My young face. Not my face. #I don't know how to explain it. Or why I'm even talking about this. #I just bought myself a new jacket today. #And I thought I looked nice in it. #But I was staring at a kid. #A fifty eight year old thinking a kid looks nice isn't right. #I really need to find a therapist. #Tua rp #Tua rp blog

[swallowedabug]

#i've had this in my drafts for ages but i have to post this now #because a (fetish?) blog called jeansiloveme reblogged one of my sarah sets #and it reminded me of this post lmao #they also started following me so i guess this one's for you lmao #anyways. #she keeps doing this and it's very distracting #hudson and rex #hudson & rex #sarah truong #mayko nguyen #maykonguyenedit #my edits #my gif #yes i am once again reposting my old gifs and making new sets of them #i have run out of material but i love staring at my old sets and getting Ideas

[tbcanary]

category 100000 roy harper moment

#text.tb #[santana glee voice] he has a FAMILY he's a FAAAH THER #god. fuck. i love that guy. #it's so funny to me that this blog has existed for like. what. a month and a half? #and already there are MULTIPLE posts that are just me staring off into space like SIGH.... ROY <3 #or ollie but that one's new #i've been a roy bitch for like a year and a half it's practically my default state #do you ever think about how he signed his name with that little arrow beneath it. do you think about how he was in a band for a while. #he has a CHILD and he loves her SO MUCH #and he's smart and charming and for a while there he had the sTUPIDEST TATTOOS #and now he doesn't. which is because of reboots BUT if you're a GENIUS like I AM. #if you're an ENLIGHTENED SOUL #then you know that he doesn't have them because they were TEMPORARY TATTOOS HE APPLIED EACH MORNING #that one's not a real headcanon i'm just laughing about it #i'm so sorry to people who don't know me very well. but i literally am always like this. my personal blog has hundreds of posts where i jus #do this in the tags instead of talking like a normal person #but the thing is i need to SAY that i think roy should get recognized not as a hero but as a member of a relatively lackluster hobby band #EXCLUSIVELY in the pacific northwest #and i need to say it where only the dedicated can see it and understand my vision #anyway. i'm done now. for like the next few hours probably. #we'll see. #if you read this far you can redeem this coupon for one (1) tiny kyle ray/ner with his hands held above his head #that's real btw i have that png

[tm1o-a]

OH MY GOD!!

THE SHARE FUNCTION OF MY SWITCH FINALLY WORKS!!! A!!!!!!

#I CAN SEND MYSELF MY SCREENSHOTS FINALLY OH HAPPY DAY #also look at my MC and new OC on this blog LOOK AT HIM PLS #in that one moment when i found myself surrounded by gastly all staring at me and it was legit scary SJFKG #❛❛ ¦ out of character. —— ( 𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐧𝐨 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢 𝐚𝐦 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠. )

[igarbagecannoteven]

x

#instead of writing i was fiddling around with tumblr page coding as one does #and i ended up staring at my fic folders on my computer and i think if i don't stick to just 5sos fics i could be ready to start with the #24 days of fic thing by next month which like #on the one hand heck yeah! it's been over a year i'm ready to start putting shit out there again #but on the other hand #i'm not like. super proud of a considerable chunk of the fic i've been hoarding #like they're not awful! it's just that several aren't of the same 'caliber' of my other work #and one of my biggest fic fears is that someone will read one of my not-as-good works and write me off as a mediocre writer #and bc of that won't read any of the fics i'm super proud of #idk guys #i know there's a lot of stuff about like. 'putting stuff out there is plenty don't worry about it being perfect!' which like #on one hand i agree with but on the other that's not why i write #i write to transcribe an idea to the best of my ability and if i know i'm not doing that then what #anyway #that's what's going on with me rn! #sorry i haven't been on this blog much i've been taken over by a new obsession that's been sapping all my brain powet #in related news if anyone listens to dungeons and daddies hmu lol #but yeah #i'm still here! just got my head in other places atm #i'm sure it'll come circling back at some point #the trash talks