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measuringbliss · 9 months

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Spider-Man Read-Through 025: L to the OG (Clone Saga) (ASM 141-150) P1

MASTERPOST

In this batch! Mysterio! The Jackal's identity revealed! THE DEAD SPEAK! And a ton of angst, naturally. But more importantly...

To my absolute delight, the Spider-Mobile hasn't disappeared. I thought it was a one-off thing, but turns out it seems here to stay!

...At least, that's what I thought, until Spidey crashed his bungie in the New York Bay. Hmm! Wasn't there an alley there, instead of the ocean, Spidey and the readers wonder? Is this the tragic end of the Spider-Mobile?

Later, Peter falls asleep in class (very relatable), and Prof. Warren is there to try and keep him from sinking. I love his vest and tie combo by the way. Also, yeah, Peter still goes to university! His classes are so rarely depicted that you'd be forgiven for forgetting about it.

MJ's back, baby! And she keeps objectifying Peter, to our greatest pleasure.

We also get great scenery and gorgeous panels. Ross Andru was brimming with energy.

I'm sure nothing harrowing will happen in these issues. Don't worry about it.

We get a quick scene with Jameson looking strangely elated. I can only imagine he hired someone (probably Mysterio) to mess with our hero. Oooh, Johnny boy, you can't reach the level of the Jackal.

Spidey is famished and steals a poor guy's food, vaguely intending to send him bills before getting interrupted by----SMOKE! Not Felicity Smoke, but actual smoke! Mysterio's smoke! The showdown quickly begins.

Mysterio issues are always a treat, and this one is no exception.

However, this fighting style... reminds me of the Tarantula. The pointed boots, the agility...

Illusions keep piling up and...

Gorgeous art! That's something we've never seen. Oh, Andru, Conway, you know it, you're in your prime.

Ned needs a much better tie, but I appreciate the attempt. Peter going insane is a theme throughout this batch.

Onto #142! Stuff happens and May notably makes an evil face.

She keeps that trend for the next issue. She should chill out a bit.

Ross Andru is great, but his face are a bit much a lot of times. Romita Sr. had a softness that Andru just can't emulate.

Meanwhile, Betty tells MJ the big news:

(We later learn it's for August 27th, which means we might see it in about 30-50 issues or so.)

Because the cast really needs good, no, GREAT news in their life right now.

Coming back from the Bugle, Peter sees someone who looks like... *her.* Surely, it must be another one of Mysterio's illusions...

Peter's naturally very angry, because this one feels very mean. Oh, Peter...

He figured off-screen that Mysterio put a VR chip on his suit that basically shows him what Mysterio wants him to see. Thanks to that, he figures out where Mysterio's hiding and...

Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019)

In the end, he's arrested. He was just a buddy of the original Mysterio (who seemingly really died) and, as he's arrested, he warns Jameson to give him a lawyer. Jonah skips town instead! Not the most interesting issue, but it compliments the previous one well and does a very clever set-up.

#143 starts between Christmas and New Years' Eve. Spidey keeps seeing *her* everywhere, but Robertson asks him to follow Jonah to Paris.

Hahaha, I just saw the upper panels on my TL this morning. I still don't get exactly what she means, but who cares, they're kissing! They're official! And they look cute. Robertson obviously approves.

They're adorable, really. I'm on board!

Turns out Jonah's been captured, but Conway and Andru are more interested in drawing the monuments of France. That's understandable! The villain (Cyclone) also kidnaps Robertson and says Spidey has 24 hours to give him the money, or else...!

That's how this issue ends, and we're now trudging in the territory of issues I've already read (again). Feels nice to have context for... well, everything.

Ish #144!

We get an actual scene with May and Anna, who go out to see a movie (and secretly kiss each other, naturally), and May is sad that Gwen Stacy died, thinking it should have been her instead of Gwen... which is a reference to how May was supposed to die in her place (and I think it would have made for a better cast but oh well).

At least, it's a great scene.

The Cyclone and his goons spend the issue complaining about Americans, and it's very funny how his thoughts were probably a caricature at the time but resonate a lot today.

Anyway, the day's saved and Peter goes back home to find...

Oh my!

Good for her!

I was initially planning to stop here to make a second post, but I'm not doing too bad at restraining myself from uploading too many pics, so let's continue.

Ish 145! Peter lashes out at Gwen (?) and is soon confronted by the Scorpion. Just before that, a textbox helpfully informs us that Marvel Team-Up 33 happens, and I shall proceed to read a summary. It's ok, nothing groundbreaking.

After the fight (where the Scorpion escapes), Peter goes back to the hospital, and Gwen's there with everybody else. Ned confirms that not only this Gwen has the same fingerprints as the one who know, the OG Gwen's grave is also still full. Ooh, drama!

MJ's not sure she's liking this.

Ish 146 opens with the Jackal saying it's been two years since *that* death, and since the Jackal was born. By now, Conway has a good handle of who hides behind that mask. Interestingly, the Jackal shatters a head statue of Spidey, similarly to ASM #129 where the Punisher (in his first appearance with the Jackal!) shoots a full-body statue of Spidey.

One page later, Gwen says she's been dead for two years. Oooh! She's hanging out with Peter and asks him the big question:

She proceeds to slam her face in a revolving door, as is custom when you just got dumped.

The Scorpion attacks May after being advised by the Jackal, but Spidey catches him and we see the best panels of the issue just in time to close it.

Ish 147! The Tarantula is back and I'm very happy. While he escapes from prison (good for him), May and MJ have a heart-to-heart. MJ's not pleased that Peter's completely stopped giving her attention, and May advises her to fight for her man. It's pretty sweet actually!

Ned gives a file from the doctor to Peter, who learns Gwen is... a clone! Of course she is. It's the original Clone Saga, after all!

Spidey and the Tarantula have an actual fun fight in the middle of New York traffic (which reminded me of the Spot and Miles's first battle in Across the Spider-Verse) until the latter pushes Spidey into a bus... from which every civilian soon departs, afraid of the fight. In a fun twist, an apparently puppeted Gwen gets on the bus... and in a fun twist, the driver turns out to be the Jackal!

See what I mean when I say it seems just out of the Spider-Verse movies?

Eventually, they stop just where the OG Gwen died and the Jackal reveals HE'S the one who created Gwen's clone.

The Tarantula pushes Spidey, whose feet and hands are shackled, off the bridge... and that's where the issue ends.

In the readers' letters, they keep bringing up the fact that Peter's still in college. From my point of view, their complaints are completely uninteresting. But it's because it's 2023 for me, not 1975.

Ish 148! The textbox helpfully informs us of the following: "At this point, we're not even going to try to explain it. You'll have to pick it up as we race along, Tiger!"

It's funny, but also... yeah.

Spidey successfully stops his fall, but he knocks his head on the bridge. The Jackal reveals he hid a JETPACK on Gwen, and they all fly away in a quite strange threesome.

Spidey tricks officers into freeing him from the shackles, and he gets away. MJ's waiting for him, but he doesn't give her the time of the day.

I put this entire page because I'm thirsting, and I'm also here for the Ned/Peter Ho Yay. They actually make an incredible team on the next page, they reach together the conclusion that Prof. Warren and/or his assistant might be involved. Their conversation and comfort around each other is very strong in a way you really don't see. I don't know. I'm shipping it. It's an awesome page and it's just a conversation.

Turns out Gwen's DNA samples have disappeared from the college fridge, and Warren pinpoints his assistant, Anthony Serba (a name I never forgot all those years, I don't know why), as the likely culprit.

But at Anthony's place...

I didn't remember the Tarantula being so involved, but I'm here for it!

Spider-Man's sexuality is a subject we must briefly broach. He regularly says "handsome" to all kinds of men when he's quipping, however, here, he says to the Taratula, "Sorry, pal--but I only dance with girls."

This is just food for thoughts.

Spidey beats the Tarantula, but as he's dragging his body...

Hmm!

Hmm-hmm!

Check out the next part of this post!

#comics #spider-man #amazing spider-man #comic books #the jackal #cyclone #mysterio #whump #original clone saga #gwen stacy #peter parker #mary jane watson #peter parker thirst #ned leeds/peter parker

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djgamek1ng · 5 years

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PLD LEVEL 80 STORY RAGE [FFXIV] RANT

So it has been a while since ShB came out. I’ve gotten all my tanks to level 80, did all of the job quests and oh boy I have some stuff to talk about. Since this is a rant post as you can see by the title, I’m just gonna put this out there: I’m gonna be swearing in this post. I’m probably gonna be swearing a lot. If you don’t like that or don’t like anger/negativity in general, you should probably skip this post (aka, don’t click “Read more”) even though I will be raising some more legitimate criticisms and how to improve one of the tank’s stories... no shuddup, the title totally doesn’t give it away.

Also, on another note, I will be posting my impressions of each of the tanks later. Hopefully somewhere this weekend, but no promises. I have a lot to talk about and I wanna cover it well.

Also also, spoiler warning. I will probably spoil some stuff though I will try to be vague about it.

Okay, let’s start with some positivity first. Some happiness if you will and so we shall start with what in my opinion is undoubtably the best level 80 story of the tanks: Dark Knight. All of the 80 job quests are really short, but still give a decent story. I hope next expac we do get a bit more, even if they decide to just go with the one job quest route again.

Anyway, DRK’s level 80 story quest... holy fuck. I was not prepared. This only re-affirms it for me: the DRK story has no right to be only just a job quest story. It honestly feels like it should be part of the MSQ. So TL;DR for this quest: you go to Sidurgu to check in on him and Rielle. Sidurgu hands you a letter from an unknown sender. You go to find out who the letter is from through a slightly long fetch quest, though you do get to re-meet people from the DRK quest of the previous expacs. Eventually you come by the person who send it, the person that ridiculed you for ruining the wares he asked you to return to him. He feels sorry about it and wanted to thank you (which is what the letter was about btw) and tells you the story of how life went for him after that (not well until recently). He hands you a flower to give to someone, though it is more suiting for a funeral or a farewell. You go off to be brooding and there appears your darkside. You exchange some words with them and then return back to Sidurgu. This honestly felt really powerful and in fact, was the second time I had to wipe away a tear or two from my face this expansion. I have done it no justice and I implore you to at least look it up on YouTube, but preferably you do it yourself. Even though it was just 1 pretty short quest, this was hands down the best tank job story this expac. Even the entirety of the GNB story doesn’t come close.

Onwards to second place: WAR. The WAR story this time around was pretty nice. Not as deep or feeling provoking, but just... nice.

TL;DR: Curious Gorge can’t take it anymore and wants to know if Dorgono (the female Auri WAR from the SB story) loves him the same way he does with her. He wants to travel to the Far East. Coincidentally, Dorgono and her dad come to Eorzea. Drogono’s dad, Luvsan, wants to repay us for helping Dorgono control her inner beast. He repays us by making a medicine (which is a placebo) which allows Broken Mountain to train as a WAR once more. Afterwards, Luvsan returns to the Azim Steppe but leaves Dorgono behind to train more (and fall in love, which was his first intent in Eorzea to begin with). Oh and Curious Gorge freaks out and thinks that the WoL and Dorgono are in love with each other because they smiled at each other. Dorgono knocks some sense into him, since she isn’t in love with us but someone else (no points if you guess right).

And that was WAR’s story. Simple, funny, effective and heartwarming. I actually really liked it and it was my favorite tank job story before I leveled DRK. Overal, pretty good! GNB. Well, probably the 2nd weakest tank job story but even then, this is honestly pretty good. I will only summarize the 80 story to the others. TL;DR: after having trained under the last Gunbreaker out there, Radovan, and having saved the First, you return to him. You tell him your story, especially about another Gunbreaker being out there named Thancred. He’s confused since he doesn’t know Thancred and he didn’t train him. You go on a fetch quest on a trail for someone that looks a lot like Radovan and uses the same kind of weapon. It turns out, Radovan isn’t the last Gunbreaker out there as others of his home place have survived and the trail we picked up was of Rostik, another Gunbreaker. After it, you return back to Mor Dhona and are happy to know that the art of Gunbreaking isn’t about to be lost. Again, like the DRK story, I didn’t do it much justice and with the context of the 60-70 GNB quests it becomes a lot more interesting. Still very nice. I would personally say it is a bit weaker than WAR, but that is because I have grown to care about the people in the WAR quest for longer. PLD... UGH. TL;D-FUCKING-R; You go to Jenlyns. Jenlyns is worried about Mylla, the head of the gladiator guild. You got to Mylla. She is worried about Aldis, the wandering bum. Speaking of him, he walks inside the gladiators guild to show of his samurai skills. He challenges you to a duel. You get ready to fight and he sees how much strong you have become. You say it is because of you have things to protect. The duel ends with Aldis giving up before it began. You and Mylla go back to the gladiator guild. Aldis steps in and asks if he can stay. Mylla goes all tsundere (ugh) and allows him to stay. You fuck off and do literally anything else.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. WHY. THERE WAS ONE REALLY COOL THING. ALDIS SEEING HOW STRONG YOU GOT BY SEEING AN AURA AROUND YOU. THIS HAS SO MUCH POTENTIAL BUT NOOOOOOOOOOO. FUCK THAT, WE NEED TO HAVE THIS ROMANCE PLOT BETWEEN TWO CHARACTERS OF THE FUCKING GLADIATOR STORYLINE. YEAH, THAT IS SO MUCH BETTER. NO NEED TO EXPLAIN HOW THE PLD POWERS ARE EVEN A THING OUTSIDE OF TRAINING (WHICH LITERALLY EVERY FUCKING JOB HAS TO DO BTW), NO NEED TO SHOW US THAT WE SAVE PEOPLE AND DO ALL THIS KNIGHTLY/PALADINY SHIT OUTSIDE OF THE GODDAMN MSQ. NOOOOOOOO, THAT WOULD MAKE FOR AN ACTUAL GOOD FUCKING STORY LINE INSTEAD OF THIS BULLSHIT. GOD FUCKING DAMMIIIIIIT! AAAAAAAAAAAAAA- *insert static screen here* sigh As you can no doubt tell by everything that I just typed, I am slightly upset at the PLD story. It had one really neat thing going for it, something that could make it feel more like a Paladin/Knight story (need I remind you, in JP PLD is called Knight). Instead however, anything interesting gets brushed aside because “well, the MSQ covers it already. Nevermind that the fucking WAR, DRK and GNB stories do show us protecting stuff in their respective quests”. Hell, wanna know the biggest slap in the face? We got a really good PLD story. It just wasn’t part of the PLD story. Instead it was inside of the tank role quests where we got to see more of Branden (the PLD inside the Warriors of Darkness group) and his past. It was amazing and honestly heartbreaking, since it didn’t have a great ending for Branden but he still did what he had to do. The biggest problem for me since SB is that the PLD story has just become a continuation of the Gladiator storyline and I’m happy for the people that really like Aldis and Mylla, but I’m so fucking bored of those two. At least with Curious Gorge and Dorgono you know that the two are actually in love with each other and that they will finally be able to be together, even if for now it is only to train together. With Mylla and Aldis... Aldis just does not give off that he has any interest in Mylla while Mylla is obviously in love with him but doesn’t want to admit it since “oooh, let’s have a tsundere character”. SERIOUSLY. DO ANYTHING WITH THEM. Aldis comes to the conclusion to ask if he can stay with the gladiator’s guild because of us admitting that we have something to protect now (WHICH BTW, IT ISN’T STATED EXPLICITLY WHAT WE HAVE TO PROTECT NOW AND HAS TO BE GAINED OUT OF THE FUCKING MSQ) and that is why we became that strong. Okay, so how would I rank them? DRK >>> WAR => GNB (WAR overal was better, but GNB is pretty close to it) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> PLD.

Now, since I don’t want to be only negative, how about some ways to improve the PLD story? Honestly, it is very simple: make it similar to the DRK one, only with a brighter, more optimistic tone compared to the DRK’s more somber and pessimistic tone. Think of Superman and Batman: one is about needing to save the world while being a beacon of hope for the world, the other is about dragging the world back from the brink and being pessimistic/realistic about everything. An example: let’s say someone important to the job story dies in a battle. The PLD would mourn them, but still continue to fight the good fight and rally their (potentially) allies. The DRK would mourn them and instead go fucking nuts on whoever killed their ally. Either would be able to go for vengeance, but it wouldn’t be on the PLD’s to-do list while it becomes the only thing on the DRK’s to-do list.

That’s just my idea on it though. Could obviously be better written than I could ever do, but it would work honestly. Anyway, I think I’ll wrap it up here. I’m glad that 3 out of the 4 tank stories was good, but I’m really pissed of at that 1 out of the 4 that isn’t good. Thank you for reading. Sorry for the swearing, but I had to get it off my chest.

#FFXIV #ffxiv story #ffxiv shadowbringers #ffxiv tank stories #ffxiv rant

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sage-nebula · 7 years

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What are things you love about Ducktales 2017 and things you are looking forward to? :3 ~

Oooh, there are a lot of things to love about it! Keep in mind that while I did watch some Ducktales way back in the ‘90s, I wasn’t a mega fan, and so my memories of it are kind of spotty. I of course recognize all the main characters, as well as the theme song (although the updated theme song is so much better), but it wasn’t one of my childhood fandoms, per se, and so I don’t have as much nostalgia associated with it as some others might. Therefore, a lot of my thoughts / opinions are coming from a “newer” fan, someone who is just watching and likes this show as it is.

That said? In no particular order:

The animation, obviously. At least one of the animation directors also worked on Gravity Falls, and trust me, it shows. The use of color, lighting, and shading in DuckTales is top-notch when it comes to setting the mood, and the animation is all very fluid and very pleasing to watch. Also, despite the majority of the characters being ducks, there isn’t any limit to how expressive they are, even though duck faces are (understandably) generally not as expressive as human faces. (And yet, the ducks never stop looking like ducks. It’s all very well done.)

The voice acting!! I mean, listen: I already knew that this show was going to have some real talent when I saw that Danny Pudi and Ben Schwartz were on the cast, because I’ve seen them in other things (Community and Parks and Recreation, respectively), and they were fantastic. But the minute, the second I saw that David Tennant was voicing Scrooge? Ghdsfldsjgldsfjdsa It went from “you have my attention” to “you have my interest” in pretty much .01 seconds. I’ve loved David since Doctor Who, and trust me, he never disappoints. And the rest of the actors and actresses are all fantastic as well. Everyone is doing such a good job. Even Donald’s actor, whoever he is, is doing a good job, even if I can’t understand him 25% of the time, and even if his voice makes me a little uncomfortable at times. (TL;DR: My biological mother used to do Donald Duck impressions, and she was rather good at them. Those were always during “nice” moments, so it’s not as if I have a bad memory per se attached to that voice, it’s just that . . . well, it makes me think about her, which is a little uncomfortable. But it’s not bad enough so that I can’t watch. I usually just get reminded, and then push it out of my mind so I can focus on the rest of the episode.)

The characterization for the triplets! They’re all distinct, individual characters for once, my god! And not just in the way they dress (although I like the fact that the way they dress reflects their personality, e.g. Louie wears a hoodie because he’s more laid back), but in how they act. I might not have been a super fan way back when, but I do remember that I could never tell the triplets apart. Even now, it wasn’t until I started actually watching the series that I came to remember which was which, and it’s because they’re all fully, fleshed out characters. And speaking of which . . .

The characters are all so varied. There was a lot of talk once it was discovered that animators from Gravity Falls were working on DuckTales about the characters from Gravity Falls being carried over (especially once we saw how much the animation and art really do resemble Gravity Falls), and while there are some similarities, the characters really are still themselves. Like, for instance:

Huey does wear a hat like Dipper, and he does carry around a journal that he relies on like Dipper (the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook instead of Journal 3), and he’s even got some anxiety like Dipper does. However, unlike Dipper, Huey does not at all believe in anything that is not either a.) science-based, or b.) he has witnessed himself. Whereas Dipper immediately believed that everything in Journal 3 was real, Huey refused to believe Wendy’s assertions about the Terrafirmians because they couldn’t be proven by science. Additionally, Huey’s anxiety manifests in actual fear of the unknown that freezes him in place, whereas Dipper’s manifests in flailing and panicking and throwing himself at situations to try and resolve them. Huey seems to have a love of learning for the sake of it, whereas Dipper wants to learn things so that he can either use them for himself and give himself an advantage. Huey also seems to have more of a code of honor than Dipper, and doesn’t want to get ruthless in the same way that Dipper will if necessary.

Webby and Mabel are both girly-girls who have some tomboyish aspects (mainly in that they like things like adventure and grappling hooks). They’re both very energetic, a little socially awkward, and they really want to fit in and be liked. These are things they have in common, however, they also have a lot of distinct differences. For instance, while Mabel does like some mysteries and adventures, she also grouses at Dipper’s need to chase conspiracy theories, and his inability to give them up. Webby, on the other hand, LOVES conspiracy theories, and is actually the one compiling her own Journal (a la Journal 3!) to document all the strange happenings around Duckberg. Mabel is a bit awkward, but she’s still socially conscious and outgoing, and outside of rare occurrences like with Pacifica, tends to make friends wherever she goes. Webby, on the other hand, has been isolated for a long time, and as a result it is very hard for her to easily interact with others, because she so easily goes over the top. Mabel loves romance; aside from wanting to get a boyfriend for herself, she also wants to get one for anyone else she can find. Webby, on the other hand, showed just as much open distaste at the idea that Donald and Ms. Beakly might kiss as the triplets did, and so on and so forth.

It seemed like Lena might be the new Wendy, given that she seems to be a slightly older female character who is very cool, likes hanging out with the younger ones, et cetera. However, she and Wendy are so different. Wendy is straight up heroic, whereas Lena is a definite antihero. Wendy’s family stresses her out, but for the most part they get along. Lena doesn’t seem to have a family. Wendy doesn’t take shit from anyone, but Lena is pretty clearly being manipulated by an evil spirit in her pendant, and so on and so forth. Anyone who would compare these two and call them the same has no idea what they’re talking about.And so on and so forth. The characters might have traits here or there in common with characters from Gravity Falls, but on the whole they stand on their own, and it makes me so happy, because it’s clear that while the two shows have similar tones (overarcing myth arc, adventurous plots), they’re still clearly two unique shows, and that makes watching DuckTales a fresh experience. (I mean, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Gravity Falls, but I want DuckTales to be its own thing!)

The humor! The humor is really on-point! There’s something to at least smile at every episode, and they haven’t had to resort to any toilet humor or anything like that (that I can remember, anyway). The jokes are witty and clever, and because the voice cast is such gold, the delivery is always on-point as well.

The myth arc!! The standalone episodes are interesting, of course, and they’re all really well done---but I love what little bits we’ve seen of the myth arc so far. The mystery surrounding Della Duck and the Spear of Selene is really interesting, particularly since the first episode implied that Donald is holding a grudge against Scrooge because of it. But then there’s everything with Lena, too; I love how the writers keep swinging the pendulum back and forth, where at first we’re led to believe that she’s a shady delinquent who won’t care what happens to Webby (and instead just wants to use her to get into a party), but then she seems to have Webby’s back and truly care about her, but then she seems to abandon her, but then she comes back, but then she has that pendant and those dark powers she’s accepting . . . and so on and so forth. They’re showing a lot of variance in Lena’s character---a lot of depth. It’s not just that she’s a cool kid, it’s not just that she’s a possible antagonist---she’s all of these things. And we’ve already seen reasons why she can be sympathetic, too. She doesn’t have a family, the idea that someone like Ms. Beakley would dismiss her as a “bad kid” hurts her, she’s never had anyone be there for her, she already wants to save others, she’s very obviously being manipulated . . . although I have a feeling that there are bad things to come in Lena’s future, I can also tell that they’re already setting up for her redemption arc, and I have a feeling that when the bad things come, she’s going to try to stop them before they happen, only for it to be too late (and for her to be horrified while the others wonder how she could possibly betray them, et cetera, until that all gets resolved). I’m really excited to see how this all plays out, especially if Lena’s story and whatever happened to Della end up being intertwined somehow.

So yeah, there’s a lot to like and be excited for where DuckTales is concerned! Every episode has been great so far, and I can’t recommend it enough to others. It’s a good show. ^^

#tofukitten

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badwasabi · 7 years

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Writing Advice: Shut out shout-outs

Due to the subject matter, I included a larger-than-usual number of references in this one, just for fun. You probably won't find all eight, unless you happen to watch a certain podcast about a certain red-masked superhero and his nubile ginger sidekick partner.

Okay, so you're watching the latest Game of Thrones episode. There's tension, there's shouting, it's very dramatic, you're on the edge of your seat. What next? you think, shoveling popcorn into your mouth.

And suddenly the characters start acting out the "What?" scene from Pulp Fiction.

Your hand stops. Your brow furrows. You mouth hangs open.

This doesn't make sense. The writers just...gave up. They made no real effort to integrate the reference into Westeros. Where'd that paper bag come from? Why is the Mother of Dragons is pulling a Big Belly Burger out of it? What is this?

I'll tell you what this is. Your hypothetical self has just encountered a bad Shout Out.

Fanfics, especially by newbie writers, often have this classic blunder. You like Thing, you like Other Thing, you want to put them together like it's peanut butter/jelly time. Let me ask you a question; you might like a nice warm fire. You might like libraries. Would you start a nice, warm fire in the middle of a library? If I needed the insurance money. A public library. Oh. Then no. So you've added the gratuitous reference, you post the chapter, and go on your merry way. Some time later, your reader encounters the reference, and it stops them cold, completely breaking immersion. You were so worried about whether you could that you didn't ask yourself whether you should. One Mass Effect fanfic I read had the bad guys capture Garrus, hang him from a hook, and torture him. Normal enough, right? Well, it was a direct ripoff of the torture scenes from Firefly. Y'know, that "War Stories" episode. Was someone wearing Jayne's hat? Someone was, in fact, wearing Jayne's hat. In a certain Halo fanfic, one of the characters make a crack about how they hadn't seen incompetence like that since the Bush Administration of 21st century Earth. For those of you not familar with the setting, that's be like a 2016 character making a joke about some politican from 1466. Seriously, name someone from the 15th century. Christopher Columbus? Anyone else? Besides Queen Isabella? ...No. You see my point. I bought a cheap watch a year ago. Before the ants ate it*, it looked like a G-Shock. Except that it didn't have the logo, the backlight was more of a frontlight - a bad one - and none of the buttons did what the labels said they were supposed to. Shoehorning in a reference can be like that. It looks good, but the charade falls apart the second you take a closer look. A lot of shoehorned references come without the context that would make them "work" properly. It's not a big problem with individual lines, but when you have to bend the story's universe into a pretzel just to make the reference "fit", you should probably reconsider. And even individual lines can get tiresome if they're intrusive enough. Remember that ME fic I mentioned? The characters often reference popular Firefly lines. It wasn't just the one scene. Which brings me to my next point. References are a crutch, if you rely on them. And in case you're wondering, there's a difference between a pastiche or parody or satire...and an outright ripoff. Also, some works are light-hearted enough to have shedloads of references. Take Deadpool (any medium), Friendship is Magic, or Discworld. And they usually cut back on it when things get heavy, doc. Except Discord, of course, by definition.

So how do I know when to use shout outs? The same way you get to Carnegie Hall; practice. Get constructive criticism from somewhere. Let readers tell you what works and what doesn't. Read it out loud. Ask yourself if the scene works for readers who don't get the reference. How would you fix the torture scene? Oh, that's easy. Dolores Umbridge. From Harry Potter? Yep. Wouldn't that just make the problem worse? Allow me to explain. Torture scenes are a dime a dozen. Torture scenes where the torturer has some sort of crazy philosophy are a dime a dozen. Religious conviction, punishment, intelligence gathering, Mengele knockoff, dime a dozen. You know what we don't see very often? What? Passive-aggressiveness. Think about it. Umbridge's core personality traits are cloying, syrupy sweetness over an absolute conviction that she's doing The Right Thing. This is a woman who created a brand-new way to torture people - her special quill - and used it on a child. The book said she looked like a toad, but in the films, Imelda Staunton's completely normal appearance is arguably worse. She looks like someone's mum or grandmum. And she's evil. Remember in the forest? The part where she may have been trying to kill Harry and Hermione, and she's still rationalizing? Imagine that with a torturer. She's levering your fingernails off with a scalpel, and still saying that it would really be so much easier if you would just cooperate. Do you think she enjoys hurting you? Why don't you just tell her what she needs to know? Brrr. But enough about my mother. So, in this case, remixing two references is better than using either of them alone. This has to be done well; if you had a generic torturer, but he's actually a woman wearing pink, that's not going to make much of a difference. In fact, it would be jarring for your readers, unless you're in a light-hearted work, or pink is an important color in your story. Maybe it's about "The Flamingo Killer", who always leaves their victims with a pink rose, or pink fibers have been found on the bodies, or something. Which brings me to the last piece of advice; good artists copy, great artists steal. Pretty sure I've heard that before. But what it doesn't say is that mediocre and bad artists also copy. So what's the difference between copying and stealing? Glad you asked, Timmy! Copying is imitating. Stealing is understanding, making it your own. It's the difference between tracing a piece of art and drawing it freehand. Wait. Isn't tracing really useful for learning how to draw? Yes, it is. To a certain point. Then it's better to strike out on your own. If you don't understand why something works, you can't really integrate it into your work. You won't be able to take the parts of it that work and leave the rest, you'll probably just keep ripping it off wholesale. If I may humblebrag; in my fic Ferris, the XCOM team decides that they're going to have to do something really dark. There's a regular soldier nearby, and he's horrified. He says he could never do that type of stuff. The XCOM trooper he's responding to says "That's the idea. We do it, so you don't have to." ...Is that...? Yep. The Nostalgia Critic's catchphrase. Altered and integrated. Now, if I had written "I fight aliens, so you don't have to," that would've been a lot more blatant. Did anyone notice? No one said anything, so...not as far as I know. Then what's the point? To increase the emotional impact of the scene. Instead of forcing a reference to a popular review show that would ruin the emotional impact of the scene. Executive summary: References and shout-outs can be fine, if used sparingly, or in a work where they fit the tone. If not, they'll cut the legs out from any drama you're trying to build. Try and understand why something you're trying to reference works, so you can alter it to fit the new context, instead of plopping it in your story like a scoop of chocolate ice cream on a cheesecake. What type of cheesecake? Boysenberry. Oooh! I love boysenberry pie! Good hunting, Jon PS: Let's talk about obtrusive fandom jokes. For example, take all the RWBY fics that substitute "Monty" for "God". If you don't know who Monty Oum was (creator of the series), it's just a weird joke or some kind of reference you don't get. If you do, then it's a fandom joke with worrying theological implications, since Ren was voiced by Monty. Does that make him Remnant's Jesus, or some kind of avatar of their Creator? Either road, it completely destroys the seriousness of a scene. Imagine if Frodo and Sam swore "by Tolkien", or Captain Picard by "Roddenberry", or Marvel characters by "Stan".

Actually, let's dig deep. You know all those Stan Lee cameos in the MCU? They all fit in even if you don't know who Lee is. You could replace Lee with a bunch of random actors, and with maybe one exception (Avengers), they all make sense. They're funny by necessity, because you can't do something like that without tongue in cheek. I can only remember one dramatic cameo, and that was in Incredible Hulk. The "Monty" joke doesn't have any of that. It can't be justified in the context of the series, unlike a bunch of random old guys throughout the universe who happen to look like Stan Lee. TL DR: If your fandom references don't fit unless your reader knows the context, change them or get rid of them. If you're trying to use an injoke in a serious scene, change it or get rid of it. * More precisely, the watchband. They'll eat anything rubber.

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#writing #writing advice #rwby #fanfiction #bad writing

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