#maybe it'll be slightly better

[metabolizemotions]

They only fetishize queer people. Especially our pain. We are not real, entire human beings to them. The celebrate the straight couples - their relationship, intimacy n all; fetishize the bodies of queer men; n fetishize the idea of queer women.

The extent to which they tolerate our sexuality is the short snippets in promo clips. They only want to exploit our online engagement. Ironically our viewership might be bringing in the ad buyers who r trying to erase us.

They try to erase the specificity of the "queer" part, but only use the pain, the convenient stereotypes, the virtue-signaling part to gain brownie points n for good drama. They joke about cultural appropriation n did exactly that during the pride episode with the straight couple's proposal. Same-sex marriage. What are you talking about? It's about queer hate n straight allyship.

They capitalize on the "women" part, to further fetishize our biology. So if it's 2 women in a relationship - it's double the drama about making babies, bad genes, n jokes about hormones n our body parts. But it's 2 women, how can they possibly manage w/o "big, strong, sensitive", straight men with good genes to contribute n overflowing empathy to deal with them being emotional n hormonal?

It's 5b, it's pride, it's the burning man all over again. First they elevate Jack, now Beckett. Pride was about cheating queer men n high queer woman. An intimate scene of Marina must be minimized n hidden among the others' or edited to death in a montage. It's as scary as a man burning to death.

The fact that they haven't even shared a proper kiss this season through any joyful or emotional moment... They just come up with more ways to obscure the kiss, if any. Bad lighting, bad angles n bad editing are prerequisites. They r also written into the script.

Of course they make an important life decision in the NICU, n it's completely inappropriate for a married w|w to share a quick kiss - which we saw via the back of their heads. Unlike a gay man having sex with an ex at the funeral of the ex's dad - while cheating on his partner - twice. Perfectly lit with no obstructions of course.

Even in their ugly kitchen they're assigned, with a perfectly good scene setup, nope. Too brightly lit for queer woman - save it for a long morning kiss b/w gay men in their nice kitchen.

Emotional scene about Carina's fertility issues and reciprocal IVF - okay a kiss allowed grudgingly - but just 0.5 sec. Their lips touched. You get the idea. Why are you fans so demanding? Time is reserved for the 101th proposal of the straight couple n their extended kisses. A proper Marina love scene? You perverts. More explicit sex scenes b/w straight couples are needed.

I don't want to rehash about Jack. I've said plenty about Beckett. Just that men's mistakes are dismissed and minimized. It is not enough to show every painful step of Maya apologizing and making amends. Maya and Carina must also be used to make the audience sympathize with Jack and Beckett. It is a deliberate yet thoughtless choice to use Carina's SA trauma to sympathize with Jack. Just as it is to use Maya's family trauma to sympathize with Beckett. Esp the context of the shot. It is esp violating. They might as well just get Jack to show up for this. They never really got it, did they?

However one chooses to justify these choices, it's not only unnec but wrong to include the men. Esp not Beckett - the man who bullied her for months till her breakdown. Even if he never apologized and they insist on using Maya's pain to make him look good in his redemption arc, idc at this point, but this is just not the time.

If it must be a man, get Travis. Make it a conversation b/w queer people, about queer hate, about their families. Travis sympathizing with Maya, about a journey he wouldn't know about. Way better than jokes on hormones with the guys. A cheap way to get a laugh at an arduous process. I thought we left 5b n mocking queer women behind.

It could have been one beautiful scene with Andy and Vic. They haven't had a proper one since s1 & 2. They would have understood about Mason, if not for their long friendship, there's 703. It could have been about the pain women go thru - Andy and Vic about their abortions or Maya about experiencing what Carina underwent... The show really isn't big on female camaraderie.

But it should really be Carina. Among all the scenes of Carina in the station bathroom - which have been a lot - this is probably the most appropriate if they must set it there. Definitely more so that her own insemination, which was ridiculous.

These are moments that they should only share with each other, privately n intimately. These precious moments that are dwindling - few n short to begin with. It's not irl, it's one scene in an ensemble show. They sure could have romanticized this. It doesn't even have to be half as dramatic as a regular scene of their golden couple. D & S will create magic.

Esp in this episode, there's so much to unpack. With everything they've been thru on their own, the ending could have been about them at home, checking in n sharing their day. Talking about the lawsuit, the hate on queers, their brothers, the boundaries they had to set with their families... Doing the trigger shot together - esp after their emotional scene in 705 n to cap off the morning scene. A perfect setup for their emotional n physical intimacy.

But of course it didn't happen. Other important moments in their lives about their new home n new baby were also short parts of wordless montages. They are even less important than scenes of the others having drinks n sex.

Queer women just don't matter.

#sorry if i sound too negative or snarky #i'm quite done being diplomatic #i try not to rant cos usually i start it gets long #i'm just really tired #with the string of cancellations #n this last season #n this is what we're getting #this is not about my hate #it's about their hate of us #I really tried to be positive n happy about the show in general #n the good scenes the other characters get #believing marina will get their turn #but the bias against queer women is just so blatant #we're only asking to be treated fairly #i'm too tired to try to rationalize n defend their choices anymore #even with paige - travis's sl is filled with neg stereotypes #if they had a queer woman as showrunner this season #maybe it'll be slightly better #maybe she can insist that the nuances matter #but i think there's sth else happening bts #how is 10pm slot worse than 8pm... #not on twitter #but if there's backlash #marina fans will be blamed #we should be grateful for whatever? #station 19 comments #station 19

[fox-guardian]

hm. maybe i Should go ahead and get an ao3 account

#ramblings with major #i was gonna like. wait. but idk #having one-shot ideas and im hesitant to post here cuz last time i posted writing here it flopped #but maybe it'll do slightly better on The Writing Website #but also it's angst and i hate writing angst it feels so embarrassing somehow #not saying writing angst in general is like cringe or smth it just Feels embarrassing for Me Specifically idk #i guess just cuz it's more Emotional than the stuff i usually end up writing #yknow what i mean #like 'oh that's what angst is to you? what are you some kind of sad person??' idk #im tired i need to sleep im truly rambling ANYWAY

[iceeericeee]

I wonder how many tags i can add on to this

#there must be SOME kind of a limit otherwise posts would get suuuuuuper duper long like is it just 30? #idk but i'm going to find out by simply maxxing out the character limit for each tag and finding out the limit of tags for each post lololo #this is gonna be great. i just have to remember to type without ever using the comma. it shouldn't be too hard right? fuck i almost typed #the comma i'm already bad at this smh my head. also if your still here i commend you. you have a better attention span than i do. #i'm already starting to get bored holy shit this is not happening. i gotta power through this. FOR SCIENCEEEEEEEEEE. or somethinggggggggggg #but fr idk what else to say. maybe just saying that i don't know what to say will be good enough? but does that even count? #I don't even know anymore. ffffffffuck. this is gonna be a while huh? also holy shit if you're still here omg u deserve like. a prize or #something because u definitely didn't have to stay and read all of this bull shit. lololol i typed out bs but decided to just spell the who #thing out just to make it go by faster. i'm so lazy. this is only the nineth tag HOW will i make it to 30. i am sobbing the adhd is adhding #very hard rn. are you still here? bruh this is insane. i have somehow managed to keep ur attention this long and it's just me spouting #absolute balderdash. wait do you know what balderdash even means? i don't care if you do already i'm gonna tell you anyway. balderdash is #basically just another word for nonsense. boom. you learned something new today. balderdash equals nonsense equals this damn post. #why did i decide to do this in the first place. it was a dumb idea. i don't know if i can even keep going. this is only the *counts tags* #it's the 14th tag. we've got a long way to go boys. men. soldiers. comrads. friends. besties peeps. marshmallows. #where was i going with this? oh yeah. trying to max out the limit for tags. dang i almost typed a comma there. i haven't done that since #i think the third or fourth tag. dang that feels like such a long time ago. not for you guys probably. it feels longer because i have to li #type it all out and stuff. so it's definitely gonna feel longer for me. are you still here? good lord don't you have better things to #be doing than reading all of this? we're already on tag number 18. it feels like i should be on the thirtyeth by now. or however it's spell #'toast' you might be wondering 'why are you typing out the names of the numbers instead of say '9' or '5'?' well you see. young one. #this is a strategy i'm using to make each tag slightly longer. even if i don't know how to spell it. it'll make it just a little bit longer #anyway. i got off topic. not that there was ever a topic to begin with. unless it's about making this as long as i can. #which i am apparently good at doing. i guess. are you STILL here? do you seriously have nothing to do? i guess i'm flattered you stayed thi #whole time. instead of reading something else you stayed here. with me. listening to me talk. on the twenty-third tag. oh yeah its tag 23 #except now it's tag twenty-four. how crazy is that. this little talk is almost over. only 6 tags away if memory serves right. this's strang #i kind of don't want this to end. but i know it should. after all there is a limit. but all things must come to and end at some point i gue #i'm running out of things to say. it's probably a good thing it's almost over. hahahahah............... but i don't want to go. i don't wan #to leave this post. i've worked so hard on it. and for what. just for it to end. are you still here? yes? good. i'd hate to end this alone. #thank you for indulging me and my craziness. the end is only 2 tags away now. you can go ahead and leave. i'll be okay on my own. really... #...you're still here? i- i don't know what to say. i suppose a toast is in order. perhaps. for this journey. this stupid dumb post i though #would be fun. i'll make it short. it's the last tag after all. this was fun. but i will never do it again. so long as a i live. i'll miss y

[aeide-thea]

thinking abt like. if you introduce someone to something you're into and they're like, wow, that's so awesome, you're probably tickled that they dig it and are seemingly a kindred spirit at least that far; if you then introduce them to another thing you're into and they're again like, wow, that's so awesome, you're probably still pleased but also perhaps guiltily wondering whether they know any other adjectives; and if you introduce them to a third thing and yet again they're like, wow, that's so awesome, you're probably asking yourself, was any of that affirmation actually real or is this person just so reflexively accommodating that they've been turning off whatever independent critical faculties they possess in order to play a better yes-man???

(for values of 'you' that primarily mean 'me' obviously)

#just thinking a lot this week abt like. on the one hand i SO deeply need people to be kind and exhibit a readiness to be pleased #and i'm so relieved and grateful when i encounter that energy #but like. on the other hand i need to feel like i actually meet your standards‚ not like you don't HAVE any? #like. if a golden retriever wants to be pals it means nothing. if a cat wants to be pals it means everything #and like. if we're being honest i'm very very very picky abt. everything. i was going to specify areas but. it's all of them. #i just try not to actively be a dick abt it to anyone's face bc i think that's really important #(and like. i did a slightly less good job of hiding that in certain ways this week than i probably endorse so i'm thinking abt that) #(like i think the problem is that it always feels v important to be clear abt my tastes/Who I Am bc i want to be Understood) #(but like. sometimes ppl just aren't the sort of people who are going to Understand me and i need to get better abt cutting bait) #(and prioritizing courtesy abt their tastes over clarity abt mine in those cases) #idk. have very extremely not resolved the tension between my various values here #basically like goldilocks i need everything to be juuuuuust right which like. perfect IS the enemy of good and i know it!! #but at the same time like. it IS better to be alone than to be with people who chafe you raw. #but maybe eventually if you let them sand you into a new shape it'll be good? but. feels bad to be sanded. #anyway. strongly suspect this is not actually a coherent post i'm very sleepytired #this week was really really challenging and left me with a lot of food for thought. also some pie

[blurred-cat]

allowing myself a shred of optimism as a lil treat

#I'm Talking #normally i try to keep toward realism #but my tendencies are toward pessimism #because optimism feels foolish #but maybe just this once it'll be okay #to hope for something slightly better than just Ok

[twilightarcade]

gamers

@eatingchemicals <- blog

#wordstag #caustic corp #making a pinned post soon just running around a bit rn #first drawing felt too serious so I just started drawing stuff and the second one is what I got from that #heinous amount of errors but idc it's better than nothing it'll change inevitably #those letters are slightly off where they should be but pretend they aren't #notwordswordstag #I guess yeah sure #art will maybe still end up being posted here? Just for organization sake #or over there then rb not sure #idk we'll decide eventually

[swiftfootedachilles]

where is the anon who likes my writing i need motivation to finish other kinktober stuff. also i did make edits/visuals for one of my fav fics for kinktober but i haven't gotten a reply from the author is okay with me sharing them... should i post them anyway (with credit ofc)?? i know on a03 theres a way to link works inspired by other works, should i just do that?? if i don't get a response should i not post them? this person is not really active on social media so idk exactly what to do............

#i really enjoyed making the edits despite the fact it took hours and im not even done yet #they feel more fulfilling than writing but maybe i just feel that way bc i know it'll get more attention than my writing ever will #idk im still upset my debut flopped #i simultaneously want to write more to prove im a better writer (but mostly to gain popularity tbh) & never write again out of embarrassment #a.txt #okkkkk let's take an inventory of what wips i have so far #super short wips for the promp collars. another short one for a free space. maybe another edit if i have time... #...a slightly longer spit fic. oooh i have an outline for prompt: deepthroating. lastly my super long d/s punishment fic #why am i doing this to myself. Too Much

[frostycatblr-fandom-files]

#frostsfanart #art wip #something about the helmet looks slightly off to me but maybe that's just because i spent so long staring at it #but oh well it'll look better when I start the thing I'm working on I hope

[sysig]

Looney Tunes-ass setup

#Of all the ways for my laptop to break... I did not expect Only my left ear in the headphone jack to go #USBs? Working fine. Disc Drive? Ain't no thing. SD Card reader? Gotcha. #Fucking uhhhhhhh Left-Ear Headphones?? From the same Headphone Jack????? Sorry??????? #Why only the left?? Like if both broke I'd just be like Oh Okay the jack is broken I can understand that #Or if it was the headphones themselves I'd be like Oh Okay some of the wires got loose since they're in separate lines #But then it happened on my Good Headphones that I Just Bought that only have the One Cord for both ear pieces and I Became Suspicious #I have literally never had a jack break on me like this this is so wild #Luckily I had this spare USB volume control which is Not my favourite for several reasons lol #Initially when I bought it I was interested because I thought it was a) a splitter or b) in-line volume control #It is neither! It's basically a plug-and-play volume button #For...in case.....you don't.........have? a volume button? on your device? The horrors I would not buy a device like that in the first place #Everything is a tactile button for me thank you #And also you can plug in a mic but I have a separate USB mic that I like better so lol no on that one #So it was useless! Until.... #It's still a bit scuffed it's slightly bass-boosted in a crunchy way which is Not my favourite :/ I like smooth bass-boosting thank you #That's the whole reason I bought these headphones! #It'll do in a pinch until I can ask around about it #I've been meaning to go to a repair shop for uhh year or so? Maybe more? One more push in that direction

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#interviewer: do u have any questions for u? #me: where r my weak points? how can i improve? #lmao tell me to my face bitch. haha they were not expecting that #it was a slightly wobbly interview imo bc it started at 2.40am and i was quite nervous but it got better as i talked #my weak areas r justifying why this study in terms of reaching for funding. which like yea its bc i dont find that interesting #i just like Science for science's sake. its weird tho. interviews in the uk r different bc i have to justify a project im not even on yet #like bro ive got 2 other potential projects and a full time job to b overworked in #ill fulfill the project needs if u give ne a shot but like idk all the details yet lol #they did say i interview well tho. they could see the gears turning in my head ans my responses r quite measured #glad they thought so bc i was slightly rambling. i thibk maybe that just happens more when i interview immediately after waking up bc that #happened with my other middle of the night uk interview as well lol #oh well. ive already sorta decided i dont wanna work on this project so even if i dont get it no harm there #would really like to see my offers tho. just so i kno im going somewhere in the fall. i mean i have 2 assurances #that it'll probably b a yes but like i need that in writing lol #unrelated

[yukinyaminyato]

my mood today has basically been ↘️↗️↘️↗️↘️↗️↘️↗️

#i was sad then i realized that im not as bad at jpnese as i thought and im feeling slightly better again lol #also im seeing a nice person tmrw :-) maybe u can guess who. tho two of her friends will also be there i hope they're nice. #oh and im going to some valentines speed dating event tonight and hmmmm. hopefully it'll be cool & won't ruin my evening. 🤨 #my posts

[purenguyening]

This isn’t like the greatest litmus test, but I feel like how much I will buy into an OTP is if in Vietnamese they use anh/em to refer to each other.

I found one such ship and I kind of bought into it since. 

#i've always wanted to get into the vn side of fandom but my reading comprehension is so slow it can be frustrating #i've decided to sort of take my time with it and maybe it'll improve with enough time #i've tried relying on a text to speech reader because my listening compression is slightly better than my reading #it mostly works but bridging the gap takes time and i need to like force down my impatience a lot #pure rambling

[nyacinthie]

people just arent ready for me having shorter hair again tbh

#im VERY EXCITED it's been a while :3 #'shorter' is relative bc my hair is very past my shoulders now. it'll be shoulder length #it's not like im going for a different style tho WHDFKJH maybe ill actually try something new one day.... #my hair looks 10x better when it's shorter #'shorter' is relative. it'll be at or slightly above shoulder length #ive only been growing it out for maybe a year but my hair grows quick even tho it's curly so it doesnt seem it

[chimerafeathers]

genuinely baffled by the comments i've seen saying op 2 is somehow less tonally appropriate than op 1

like. yes, the story DOES get more intense, layered, emotional, and at times gruesome. it also continues to be joyful, loving, goofy, and comedic. it's cute! it's FUN! even when dark shit is happening, the lightness is what makes those moments hit harder!

imo they really nailed the imagery and characterization, especially with Laios "waking up" from his blissful dream of all his friends smiling and happy to be eating monsters on this adventure with him. there are a lot of things that felt directly inspired by specific images/concepts straight from the manga, not even counting the whole "dissolving into mana" thing.

considering that they didn't go lighthearted for op 1 (where it would have been the most appropriate) and how MUCH more intense things will become in the second season as the Canaries truly enter the game, this was kind of our only chance to get a fully silly and joyous op. i'm hoping for a balance of intensity & comedy in the remaining ops whenever s2 is animated, kind of like the Beastars op 1 that swings back and forth between the "romance" and the "horror" aspects of the story. i wouldn't mind a fully "intense" op for the end, but if they go that direction then i'm even happier we got a fully "fun" op here, bc this series does BOTH very very well and i wanted to see that represented.

to me it feels VERY much like the way Kui does worldbuilding where a bunch of details that seem like cutesy, comedic one-offs or throwaway comments become way more relevant and powerful later. dissolving into colorful pretty lights in a white void being ominous foreshadowing for those in the know. the party ending up in a cooking pot seeming like a very obvious "eat or be eaten" thing, but also connecting to the dungeon's cycles of consumption & how they're not ONLY under threat because of monsters but because of their own desires.

anyway, i think it's great and i'm excited to spend the rest of the season enjoying the fun expressions and little details of personality and whimsy in every frame

#dm manga spoilers #fandom salt #i think also the pastel-ish colors aren't to everyone's tastes maybe? i mean i'm not particularly partial to desaturated colors myself #but i think it's pretty effective here #mypost #sorry i'm spending a 2nd post harping about op 2 but. i really can't wrap my head around ppl thinking it's soooo much worse or tonally bad #more specifically the idea that it's ill-suited to the series as if it's not a fun comedy anymore just bc necromancy and murder happened 🙄 #(/lh) #i like it SO much better than the first one personally and it has everything i was missing in op 1 #other than maybe liking the first song slightly more. that doesn't weigh in as heavily for me as visuals #i hope it grows on people more as time goes on. it's only been a few days #maybe it'll feel more fitting next week with the dryad and cockatrice episode bringing back the comedy

[eldrichthingy]

.

#tw vent #I'm so fucking tired honestly. the work is literally killing me lmao. it's just.. the past two months have been horrible for me #maybe it's the lack of therapy. maybe it's just that I have almost no free time. maybe it's that I crave human connection but can't find it #and when I do find it. then I feel like I should've have because communication outside of irl acquaintances or family is so much more tiring #to me for some. weird reason. it's just... I'm used to these people. maybe that's why it's so hard. #I feel so guilty also. for leaving s/mblr. it happened accidentally (with tumblr deleting my acc) ofc but I just didn't want to come back #idk why. I don't feel like I should have a blog at all honestly. maybe I shouldn't have in a find place because what's the point. #what's the point if I don't communicate with people here. and it's just... I'm too tired. too scared I guees. to do that. #idk what I think I just. I just wish I could take a break at work. I'm not sure if it'll help but gods it's so exhausting. #I'm glad that tumblr exists and that I'm here though despite for what I said. it's just a safe place where I can feel slightly more alive #and interact with people. with art. yes even if it's just smallest interactions ever. but the thing is.. I feel so tired right now. and #I've been feeling like this for the long time. and I'm even too tired to be here. idk. maybe it's just not for me. #I wish that next year will treat me at least slightly better. just... everything has been feeling so overwhelming idk #eldrich.rambles #delete later

[d1anna]

fighting for my life trying to get my skyrim oc (and npcs) to look good

#i started modding skyrim on console and then i was like #maybe it'll be better to mod if i do it on pc #we have xbox gamepass so that's how i did it cross platforms but gamepass acts like the game is rented so certain files are locked when #modding the game #i wanted to download a mod with better sliders for character creation but THAT mod (racemenu for those who are curious) needs skse which is #a script extender for the mod files so i downloaded that after some confusion #but since my game is categorized as 'rented' with gamepass skse can't work properly and i can't use that mod properly or else my game will #crash and so i was like i want to LOOK GOOD that is my ONE THING #and i also want to have the npcs look better but since gamepass doesn't let you tweak textures i needed to own the actual game #so i went to a grey market seller because steam is selling the special edition for $40 USD and the grey market was selling it for $9 total #so i attempted to buy it (slightly scared) but then it didn't go through #so i did it again and it finally went through for some reason and now i am downloading it to steam #but i need to go through the modding process all over again and with that to boot i'm starting all over in the game #i'm like level 11 on console and it's taken me a LONG time to get there #we shall see #sigh #dianna.moon