#maybe I’m just really shit at this

[ivy-and-ivory]

Why hello, inevitable-moment-in-a-writing-project-when-I-convince-myself-I-am-a-talentless-hack-of-no-consequence, we meet again. My beloathed. Please kindly go the fuck away :(

#ughh #don’t mind me I’m just having a bit of a wallow #I’ve just been really struggling to write anything I’m proud of lately #and sort of just feeling like #oh maybe I can’t write actually #maybe I’m just really shit at this #and maybe I’ll just never get any better #and it’s not a very fun feeling!!! at all!!! :((( #and I got some criticism today that hit me kind of hard #I just hate doing badly at something I care about being good at #anyway I’m being dramatic and I’ll get over myself in a bit #I’m just letting myself be upset about it for a little #ivy rambles

[ziracona]

I can’t include them all so here’s a combo of ‘came to mind first,’ ‘talked about positively most often by fans,’ and ‘stuck in my head’.

Public Apology Big Iron isn’t here. There were a lot that didn’t make the cut but that one specifically I stg I put in and only realized after posting had not. It was 100% meant to be on this list and I’ve failed us.

#fallout #fallout new vegas #fallout 4 #fallout 76 #tumblr polls #I know I Don’t Want to Set the World on Fire should be here bc it was a trailer song but I don’t really like it so Heartaches by the Number #made it instead I’m sorry ✊😔 #I FORGOT BIG IRON. that’s a sincere mistake I stg it was 2 on the list SHIT #why are you people so agreassive??? it’s not a ‘best fo song’ poll it’s not even a ‘favorite fo song’ poll it’s literally just a ‘pick a #song and hit a button fun time??? stop yelling in the tags about songs that aren’t there there are 12 slots on a poll I don’t control this #make your own stupid post and get rocks thrown at /you/ for only having 12 songs. also some of you can’t read ‘why isn’t X on’ IT IS!!! some #of the ones you’re complaining about are ThERE read #I’m gonna turn off reblogs and delete this maybe Jesus Christ it’s not even a competition it’s a song blunt rotation can’t you all be friend #ly about anything? Tu

[communistkenobi]

now that I haven’t lived with my parents for almost two years I’m starting to come to terms with myself as a full human being. and like idk I can’t really complain about my parents too much in terms of their overall parenting of me, I feel like I’m lucky in a lot of respects just based on the horrific shit some of my friends/family have gone through, but I feel like one consequence of how much my parents fucking hated each other for my entire life is that I feel like I have no reference point for showing affection or being emotionally considerate/vulnerable, those things tend to make me deeply uncomfortable and disempower me to do nice things for the people I love. I feel like I have to really concentrate and spend time on emotional reciprocity and spontaneous gifts/gestures of love. genuinely just kind of sucks how much my parents despise one another and how their constant fighting and days-long silent treatments over the course of 25 years has made me feel inadequate to the task of showing the people I care about how much I love them

#also protestantism will do this to you which is definitely some of it #my therapy insurance renewed for this year maybe I should do a couple sessions about this lol #I feel like I’m making progress on it but it genuinely feels really difficult. It’s like I don’t know what to do with myself #also the middle class thing of just buying shit to express affection #it’s so hollow and meaningless & it’s given me a really cynical and utilitarian perspective on giving gifts #which sucks! I don’t like having that view of gifts. possibly one of the oldest human social practices in all of history #aside from maybe art

[secretly-larry-daley]

Me?? Posting Great Gatsby Art?? More likely than you think.

God they really are the epitome of this meme.

Most accurate thing I’ve seen ever.

#I love when they’re just #a married couple #like yes #let them go sit in a park and feed the ducks #or wake up in the morning with one another #that’s the shit I live for #sigh #I love them #I’m really tempted to change up Gatsby’s design tho #maybe look a little older #mustache COUGH #huh? #what? #((I have an addiction)) #the great gatsby #natsby #nick x gatsby #great gatsby

[samglyph]

Harlan doesn’t “hate shippers” and he’s not “upset at having queer fans” he just forgot how to communicate something reasonably and tried to be playful and instead was just kinda mean.

#masked #this is the most condensed I can get this #again I understand why people are upset but it is really not as malacious as I think some of you are receiving it #he has CONSISTENTLY stated how he’s fine with shipping and wants to encourage it but wants it #made clear that it will never be included in the show #he’s just communicating that in a way that makes him seem like kind of a jerk #maybe I’m so used to worse that I’m like this is nothing. did y’all see supernatural that shit was crazy

[fogwitchoftheevermore]

thinking about the vaguely cannon state of the empires musical again and i think we should exploit that for as much comedy as possible. oli falls out of afterlife and is like “sausage please you have to recognize me from somewhere” and sausage just goes “wait a minute… aren’t you the narrator from the ocean queen musical?” and oli just sort of stares at him for ten minutes before officially giving up.

#empires smp #oli orionsound #mythicalsausage #empires season 2 #if you’re wondering what i’m talking about #there’s a season 2 episode where sausage is quietly singing prismarine while waiting for fwhip in gobland at one point #i don’t remember exactly when this is but it’s SO funny to me #combined with some of the shit sausage pulls on his streams i think he’s maybe a little aware he’s in a story #more aware than he makes us think at least #also please just imagine him seeing a production of it after getting all his memories back #he leaves it like ‘look i know it was about lizzie but not one mention of my extremely rich story line? nothing?’ #‘no mention of the time i turned evil?’ #also like. realistically people don’t really know what any of the s1 emperors looked like #or at least they don’t know a LOT #so i want us all to imagine the costuming for this show. thank you.

[hylianane]

Oda doesnt want you to know this but actually the real reason Zoro can speak with a sword in his mouth is because as a kid he got his hands on dozens of Ventriloquism 101 books and can now speak perfectly without moving any part of his face at all.

He can distort his voice to sound extremely far away, or like its coming through a snail phone. A part of him wants to take this information to his grave and another desperately wants to use his ventriloquist talent to try and convince Luffy that the piece of steak in his hand has gained sentience and is begging for its life, just to see if Luffy would eat it anyway.

#do you see the vision #one piece #roronoa zoro #monkey d. luffy #ventriloquist zoro living in my head rent free 24/7 #picture if you will that in order to hide from the marines on some random island #Zoro pulls Chopper into his lap like puppet and pretends to do a ventriloquist show with him. He woos the crowd and shit. #Chopper just lies limp for a while until the marines leave but then he turns to Zoro and is like #“That was really good show Zoro but you know I could’ve just spoken for myself #You didn’t need to do a silly voice for me or. Anything” #maybe I’m the only person in the world that finds this funny actually. #my post

[a-sketchy]

ohhhhhhhhh “sea of thy soul” = personal unconscious, “sea of souls” = collective unconscious. hey guys did you know that persona is kinda jungian

#this is maybe a very obvious statement but a lot of persona makes a lot more sense when you start learning abt jungian psychology #i say learning but i just mean mr edogawa’s tv classroom for the most part lol #it is very informative though #and it’s incredibly interesting to hear about The Themes Of The Game from the game’s mouth #i’m not certain why i thought this but prior to actually playing the game myself i thought p4 was really ‘true self’-y #like that it implied that there was an immutable ‘true self’ and that personas and/or shadows WERE that #but it very much doesn’t. like at every turn #i guess i took ‘i am a shadow; the true self’ at face value… #rambles #p4g posting #rather than an immutable singular truth; ‘true self’ seems to be the knowledge of oneself. like the shadow and persona and shit #more as in the concepts than the guys. as well like personal growth a la slinks #like. holistically. the shadow and persona are but fractions of the self #the shadow what’s repressed and the persona how you face the world. neither are the entirety of nor separate from the self #that’s how i’ve come to understand it anyway #i’ll probably have some more solid thoughts once i see all the tv classrooms and finish the game

[littledoggyboy]

Apparently someone sent my friend an anon talking about how I used them for sex????

Look I know I’ve grown apart from some people but if you have a problem with that, the adult thing to do is talk to me about it.

Please if I’ve hurt you please just. Stop spreading rumors and please just tell me what I did wrong.

I’m a person and I make mistakes. I never intentionally used anyone for sex but if I ever came across that way I’d like to know so I can change that behavior.

Just. Please don’t go harassing my friends and saying I’m a bad person. I don’t understand why you would do that.

#maybe I’m just. not cut out to be popular on the internet #cuz im now having a panic attack #this shit really gets to me #I have a feeling I know who it is but just #god I just #why can’t people just communicate

[theshadowrealmitself]

Current thoughts: A Human (rightfully) punching a Vulcan in the face for something and the Vulcan actually immediately realizing they fucked up and agreeing with the Human that punching them was the most logical course of action and becoming their number one defender of the Human not facing consequences

More specifically, I’m imagining them passionately (for a Vulcan) petitioning for this Human not to get in trouble, citing all the logical reasons they should be let go, and after a long while of this, barely dropping the bombshell that they were the person who got punched by the Human

#I’m imagining the inciting incident being something where they were veering into xenophobia territory and not realizing it #then they get punched (followed by a passionate speech) #and realize ‘oh shit that actually was a fucked up thing they were saying wasn’t it??’ #and oh my god they were saying that to humans and probably making all of them feel so unsafe and everything #sometimes you do just. gotta actually knock some sense into a person. #jot them back into reality #*shock not jot #mostly I just like this scenario for the reveal at the end #‘you make a great argument but we should really see how the victim wants this to be handled since they were the one who was hurt’ #‘it’s me. I was the one who was punched.’ #everyone else in shock thinking maybe this was the human’s friend who was being a bit biased #nope. #Star Trek #Vulcans #Humans

[frnkiebby]

that gorgeous fucking profile~🎃

#oh look it’s the person that’s sending me to hell in a hand basket #i really love that phrase ngl #that and ass over tea kettle #look at me saying more and more phrases from my grandparents as i get older #tbf some of the shit they said/say is fucking GOLD #so anyway #his perfect nose??? #and jaw line??? #he’s just genuinely very fucking attractive #and i know for some people he’s just this generic mundane like normal-attractive guy #but he’s just so fucking like irresistibly gorgeous fucking man #which still throws me off that i’m like ~this man is delicious~ #but hey #ig that’s the confusing beauty of being a fucking bisexual queer #even if my scale leans heavily toward women/nb #wow maybe talk about oversharing #who the fuck cares #what’s tumblr for if not for oversharing #frnkiebby #frank iero #mcr #frnkiero #frnkie #mcrmy #mcr5 #my chemical romance #my chem #ilhsm

[boltgunkiller-archive]

s3 of glee is good when you like ignore everything

#i think straight up the only ep i like completely #is heart (3x13) #like. i can’t think of anything particularly bad about it atm #and dance with somebody i guess? maybe? shit i don’t remember much #oh & nationals + graduation #tho i do have issues with what rm did with finn in graduation mostly because it makes me Sad #hmmm. i’m really trying to think #there are bits and pieces of each episode that i like #but i feel like it was just so mean most of the time?!?? #i guess i also like michael now that i’m thinking of it #hm okay not too bad i guess #as mean as s3 is i favor it HEAVILY over s4 and s5. like i still can enjoy s3 #just block out the bad stuff and it doesn’t suck #😞 i wish i could’ve been in that damn writer’s room cause it’s their SENIOR year there’s sm to work with #that wasn’t worked with!!! damn!!! #gleeposting #there’s my dose of negativity for the day amen

[camgoloud]

you ever just. become overwhelmed by a sudden out-of-nowhere wave of tenderness and affection and longing for reconnection directed towards someone to whom you no longer speak for Very Good Reasons

#‘out of nowhere’ she says like she hasn’t been doing a lot of reading/thinking recently about various tragic messy breakups #and the later regrets of the parties involved #anyway. tell me not to text her #it’s been over two years since the last time we talked… absolutely no reason to break that streak now. lord give me strength #she was really fucking mean to me! like objectively intentionally unwarrantedly cruel! it ruined an entire year of my life #and fundamentally changed me as a person on a deep level! there’s a lot of things i used to like about myself that i don’t think i’m ever #going to get back #and yet every once in a while we have to do the whole ‘maybe i could make things right’ song and dance 😔 #the thing is most of the time i’m not even really angry with her anymore like enough time has passed since all the shit went down that #really i just sort of look at her behavior and feel sad. both because of the impact on me but also because of the ‘that’s really how you #felt you needed to act towards someone who cared about you? you couldn’t have just expressed your feelings in an honest and productive way #instead of just lashing out in the cruelest possible way and ruining the entire relationship beyond hope of repair?’ #and i feel bad and sorry that it went that way and honestly i kind of pity her and hope she’s gotten some of her shit worked out #so i’m not like. actively pissed off at her anymore. but also i can’t think about her without thinking about the worst year of my life so 🙃 #i don’t actually feel that trying to reopen that door would be very healthy for me at least #we did try a Reconciliation of sorts a couple of months after the initial falling-out and while it was kind of helpful for me in that she #like. apologized lmao. and affirmed that i wasn’t crazy and she did in fact On Purpose say the most hurtful things she possibly could have #said to me given the information she had at her disposal. and that i really had not done anything to her that could warrant that. etc. #it also left a sour enough taste in my mouth that i just don’t see a future where the two of us spending time together is enjoyable for me #and yet… the regret will always live inside me i think. maybe if i were a stronger person… #caseyposting

[cassaloopa]

Astarion story idea in the vein of knowing Tav in their past-life:

What if someone else came to his rescue the night the Gur attacked him? Making Cazador miss his opportunity and have to try again. What if it’s elven Tav, maybe a cleric to the elven goddess, saves him and tries to help him uncover why he was targeted and why Cazador is hunting him now. In the process they fall in love, plan to sort things out and live happily ever after. But just as they start to unravel the plot, Cazador ambushes them and Tav is slain, Astarion captured and turned. This is why Astarion loses his faith in the gods, because they didn’t save him or Tav. 200yrs later they meet on the beach, Tav again, in a new incarnation. Both their memories are awakened and they fall in love again, vowing to finish what they started all those years before. And this time they win.

#I think it could be a really lovely bittersweet tale #wouldn’t have to rewrite the game portions just allude to their reconnection #love lost and found again across the ages #redemption and rebirth and maybe even Astarion finding his faith in the goddess again #maybe she’d bless him with a cure even #let him return to the cycle #idk i’m rambling #anyway carry on #bg3 #baldur’s gate 3 #astarion #astarion x tav #story ideas #cass says random shit

[thegreatcrowdragon]

This design goes so hard I love the mix of demon and angel in it

#cookie run kingdom #cookie run #ngl I’m kinda iffy on the hair but otherwise it’s fine #also if I see one more ‘they have the ancients symbols but upside down’ I’m gonna explode #like NO. SHIT. #oh I just realized this but Spice’s head ornament thing reminds me of antennae #apparently they’re supposed to be the opposite of the ancients (according to twitter) so maybe she’s like really cowardly?

[starlooove]

No bc fuck tim but it really really bothers me how people ignore his growth like he used to be an asshole and I’ll give tim Stans one thing: now he’s so so so stale but what I disagree with is that this staleness is bc nobody likes him like it’s in fact the exact opposite where everyone likes him so much they dont want to do anything. Even when it’s him surface level challenging Bruce it’s when everyone else is doing it too; but he’s still the backbone of the fam! Etc. and it’s so irritating bc him gaining more compassion and empathy even for people he doesn’t fw is so fun to watch and that’s why the captain boomerang thing was so out of character! (Not in a from the author way but in a tim wouldn’t do that and he and Bruce both knew it which is why it went down like it did. Same way dick killing joker was ooc; not in fanon sense but in a he would hate himself forever for this sense) and speaking of that it’s such an interesting mirror to Bruce who genuinely believes that everyone can grow vs Tim’s it doesn’t matter if they grow it’s not my decision to make like it’s the same but it’s not AND WITH CASS’ IT DOESNT MATTER IF THEY CHOOSE NOT TO GROW I WONT DO IT! like ugh. And anyways even when people acknowledge it they boil it down to “Janet and Jack taught him that the capitalist pigs that they are” like no. This is who tim was. Tim was the kind of guy who’d blame a dead kid for dying. That’s ok. Also Janet and Jack? Please reread anything involving them that’s not a fic like Jack had anger issues and they were both aloof at worst like relax.

#the Jack and Janet thing is both an understatement and an exaggeration but I don’t think anyone reads enough to care #some tim stan might get all pissy and be like ‘no look this is everytime jack yelled at him and boarding schools are abusive’ to which #and its like narratively that means nothing bc the tim you made up to justify the Drake parents you made up by blowing shit out of #proportion is also made up and if all of that was abusive there’d be smth to show for it besides ur homophobic Jack #too girlboss to care but still terrible Janet bc god forbid a woman have a personality from ur fics #anyways that’s also the reason I’m ignoring the council of spiders #well two reasons #first is that was just a moment to make tim look cool and did absolutely nothing for him or his character moving on #like at all #I’d say it fucked with his previous established dislike of killing for his own reasons #and while that COULD be interesting it’s not bc they didn’t do shit with it #and fanon doesn’t do fun shit with it either #nothing about how tim in his most manic state did shit he doesn’t want to remember shit he’d HATE other ppl for #just “’remember what I did to ur base Ra’s? mess with me again and see what I do next 😼’ #like ok can you be real and genuine? #anyways I think #AND NOT IN A HATER WAY #Tim would benefit from being humbled #like genuinely I detest the world can’t move without tim running it but the idea that tim thinks that way is so good to me #and #I think next step being him realizing that’s not true would be a BIG push for his character #bc like I said tim Stans are right in the fact that he’s stale as hell rn #but that’s bc there’s nothing to say bc there’s nowhere to go! y’all want a tim action story where he shows off how badass he is reread #the Bruce quest and maybe it’ll remind you he’s not ceo lmao but anyways there’s nothing internal to say about him atp bc nobody wants to #say anything that’s not propping him up. same with Bruce! Gotham war was such a copout but it’s like ppl are saying he’s stale and it’s bc #god forbid he makes a lasting fumble. and I’m not under the illusion this is new I’m just saying it’s weird that fandoms not clocking it #anywayyys I really do like thinking about the No killing rule and how different it manifests for each perosn #like the way each distinct difference tells u so much about them #UGH ONLY SLIGHTLY RELATED BUT DUUUUUKE BEING LIKE IDGAF ABOUT GUNS LIKE UR SO REAAAL #anyways enough tim positivity for today FUCK THAT NIGGA!