#marzirants

[mars-ipan]

god the next time i hear someone talking abt narcissists like they’re some vague evil entity i think i will lose my mind

#marzi speaks #marzirants #‘narcissists feel threatened by autists’ do you HEAR yourself????? #‘feel threatened by’ are they fucking animals???? #like. it’s one thing to think a family member or loved one of yours may have npd that they should seek treatment for #it is another thing to see a person do something selfish (which all people do) call them a narcissist and treat them like they’re a demon #can we just. can we be fucking normal about personality disorders #can we stop armchair diagnosing people with terms we don’t understand. #can we stop treating people with mental illnesses as evil. #when someone has a disorder that disorder is really not about you. ironic huh #btw i think the term ‘ego’ is also tied to this. people use ego to mean so many things and it’s dumb as fuck #stop. knock it off

[mars-ipan]

y’know i think the most annoying thing about trying to discuss reproductive rights with cis people is the complete and utter refusal to include trans people in the discussion. like they will only ever say “women” and if you dare to point it out it’s “well this is all being done to control women” or “‘people with vaginas’/‘people assigned female at birth’ is way too wordy” it drives me fucking crazy

like first off do you seriously think that the people who seek to remove bodily autonomy from women have nothing against trans people. do you think they hold zero ill will towards us. also do you think they view trans afabs as anything other than women.

secondly. NOBODY IS ASKING YOU TO USE BIG WORDY PHRASES LITERALLY JUST SAY “PEOPLE” INSTEAD OF “WOMEN.” WE LITERALLY JUST DON’T WANT TO BE EXCLUDED FROM THIS BECAUSE WE ARE ALSO BEING HURT WE JUST WANT SOME GODDAMN SOLIDARITY IN THIS BITCH. LIKE ACTUALLY JUST FUCKING SAY “PEOPLE” IT SAVES EVERYONE FROM WEIRD LOOPHOLES AND ALSO ENFORCES THAT WOMEN ARE PEOPLE FOR FUCK’S SAKEEEEE

#marzirants #my mom would say shit like this sometimes and it drove me fucking insane every single time #with her i truly feel like i have to pick my battles #bc 90% of the time she fully understands where i’m coming from! she understood the weird nuances of my queer stuff way better than any other #cishet i’ve met. ESPECIALLY considering she’s in her 50s #but every now and again she says some shit that drives me up a WALLLLL #i remember once i was talking about the language around it #and my mom brings up that she ‘disagrees’ with saying like ‘people with uteruses’ or whatever #and this kinda surprised me (she tends to catch me off guard with it) so i had no actual explanation for her #but i tried anyways i was like ‘well trans folks are affected by this too so it’s important that we’re included in the language’ right #and THIS WOMAN. someone who i know would fucking lay down her life if it were the best way to keep me safe #SAYS TO ME. #‘well this issue is about women. it isn’t about being trans and i don’t think the discussion should be derailed to trans issues’ #WHAT????? W. WHAT HUH???? #first off. this bitch goes hand in hand with trans issues we are talking bodily autonomy that is a huge trans issue #second of all. WHO THE FUCK IS DERAILING????? WE’RE ON YOUR SIDE WE’RE LITERALLY ASKING TO BE INCLUDED IN THE FIGHT #WH??? BITCH???? #my mom is so fucking smart. but sometimes the cishet nonsense overrides her smartness and she says the dumbest shit i have ever heard #don’t tell her i said that she’d get mad at me. even tho it’s literally smth all cishets do

[mars-ipan]

“humans are inherently selfish because it’s in our nature to only look out for ourselves” shut the FUCK up even if by “ourselves” you mean “other humans” you’re fucking wrong and trying to find excuses to be cynical so your misery is justified to you

ahem. sorry. got ahead of myself

anyways humans (and animals in general) do this little thing called mutualism where we make friends with another species basically. this is how we domesticated dogs. and cats. and basically every domesticated animal. when dogs were wolves they easily coulda killed us and vice versa but we both recognized that we could be stronger together so we worked together and now we have little animal companions we keep with us. when people used canaries to measure co2 in coal mines they built boxes to seal the canary from the co2 and connect it to an oxygen tank so it wouldn’t suffocate. we rehome bugs instead of squishing them. people see squirrels on the street and smile. we pack bond motherfucker it’s like a huge part of what got us to be the Big Species we wouldn’t be here if we didn’t love not only each other but also every living creature on this planet

love is human nature and human nature is love Do You Understand

#marzirants #you WILL recognize the inherent compassionate nature of the world and you WILL smile #and yes even with this love we have the capacity for violence. if you have a pet and you wouldn’t go john wick for them you’re a liar #it’s called devotion #anyways back to my main point #humans pack bond super super hard #it’s why we take care of plants and smile at animals and play with fish #and get so happy when we learn that rats giggle when they’re being tickled #i could give examples forever you understand #it is literally in human nature to look at a little guy (any shape and size) and fall in love #we are so full of love. that we sew and make little soft creatures that we can hug so hard #so we can express that excess love without killing an animal #and also because they bring us comfort and joy #WE HAVE A WHOLE HORMONE THATS MAIN PURPOSE IS TO REWARD YOU FOR CARING ABOUT SOMEONE #OXYTOCIN. THE FUCKING HUG HORMONE. WE’RE ADORABLE WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT #look. are there bad things in the world? yes. is the world unjust? cruel even? yes. #but to blame it on ‘human nature’ not only prevents real change from happening and shielfs you from responsibility for your inaction #but is also just fucking insulting to actual human nature #we love. we are loved. this is human nature #if you’re loveless then i’m talking about compassion and the desire to look out for each other #‘love’ is just what i’m using as shorthand for that. i mean kindness #anyways *gripping you by the shoulders* do you understand. humans care that is our one consistent thing we care for everything

[mars-ipan]

Ya got any rants stored up? Long-burning hatred?

i FINALLY found one i’ve been holding onto this ask waiting for the opportunity.

i HATE how people treat people with anxiety disorders. it’s endless pity mixed with complete incompassion

like ok. obligatory i have generalized anxiety disorder here. a lot of things make me stressed and when i’m having bad anxiety attacks (which can last days and sometimes put me into month-long spells of misery) i get physically sick, to the point of throwing up and fever. i also tend to go nonverbal/low-verbal during these periods of time (usually bc i’m nauseous.) i’m also very prone to migraines and have a tic and wear a night guard due to jaw clenching etc etc you get the point it affects me.

when i share these symptoms with people (assuming they don’t have similar symptoms) i get a lot of frowny faces. “owh i’m sorry :( that must be awful how horrible“ and the like. and it’s never said in a way that’s actually kind. it’s said in the way people talk about those aspca commercials. and it’s never actually come from a place of genuine concern- it’s superficial pity apparently meant to placate me. i hate it

and that’s assuming i even get that reaction at all! usually when i try to explain to someone that i’m experiencing symptoms of some sort like “hey i’m sorry i can’t really be productive right now, i’ve got a lot of brain fog” i am ALWAYS dismissed. EVERY time. maybe it’s because i’m quite skilled at coping and masking. maybe it’s because my panic attacks don’t (always) look like wailing and thrashing and choking on air. but for some reason people don’t seem to understand that yes my anxiety disorder is actually disabling for me sometimes. i will ask for an accommodation i need, be compared to someone else with different needs from me, and then be told i need to just suck it up and deal with it. and i am SO! TIRED! OF! IT!!!! the amount of times i’ve told people “hey please don’t say that to me i’m prone to paranoia about xyz” and then been yelled at because “it’s not that serious take a joke” is ABSURD. hey maybe stop telling me my cough is covid bc now i have to spend the next 3 hours reminding myself that i don’t have any other symptoms asshole!!! jesus

and THEN when i actually DO find a way to cope or utilize the way my brain works or god forbid crack a fucking joke about it people get mad at me. “see i knew it wasn’t a big deal” or “so you’re actually fine” or “that’s not funny” i am. so tired of it

and then i go online and see people saying that disorders like anxiety and depression have been destigmatized and we’re treated basically the same in neurotypical society. motherfucker i did not go undiagnosed for 17 years with several doctors telling me it “wasn’t anything to worry about” despite my family history and clear signs from a young age just to be told my disorder is respected. if i say my anxiety is a disability i get called dramatic and am told to stop taking attention away from people who need it- or not to call it a disability because “it’s not that bad” and i’m fine because clearly having a disability makes every second of your life miserable of course of course. hell anxiety is demonized too! not as badly as many other illnesses but it’s still demonized!!! if i tell people “hey i have anxiety so please be careful with xyz” they act like i just asked them to let me do anything i want without consequence. there’s literally a whole fucking stereotype of people using “anxiety” as an excuse to be lazy or an asshole or entitled. as someone whose anxiety manifests in depressive spirals (freeze response) and rejection sensitivity (doom spiraling) this is Not Great!!!!! like i am hypervigilant about enough things i do not need to add “will these people get mad if i explain how my brain works” to the list

and about the rejection sensitivity. i HATEEEEE when people judge me for crying because they’re upset at something i’ve done wrong. “mars if you’re in the wrong then you’re not the victim” who the fuck said i think i’m the victim???? i cry because my brain takes “can you pls stop doing this it genuinely bugs me” and turns it into “you’re a horrible person how could you do this to someone they hate you.” but just because that happens doesn’t mean i’m not capable of rational thought!!! i KNOW realistically that my friends are good communicators and share that stuff because they like my company. i just need to cry about it as well. that doesn’t negate my logic or say i won’t actually try to improve myself. i’m just upset that i made the mistake. obviously i’m gonna fix it. that one REALLY pisses me off esp when i warn someone in advance that i do that. like calm the fuck down i’m not even pointing out that i’m crying rn this isn’t about me stop making it about me.

ANYWAYS. it’s really frustrating to deal with this shit from nts and then go to an online nd space for community and hear people talk about anxiety disorders like we don’t face ableism. just because it’s quieter doesn’t mean it isn’t there. that AND the “it’s barely an issue” girlie i was told i wasn’t disabled enough by doctors my whole damn life i am NOT about to start hearing it from you too. you can drown in the ocean or a swimming pool or a puddle. doesn’t fucking matter. the hypocrisy irritates me so bad

#ask #ghost #marzirants #i am sick of being told i’m normal and then getting yelled at for being myself #if anyone is an ass on this post and doesn’t consider the context or nuance within i will kill :) #anywho thx ghost. that one’s been simmering for a but #a bit* whoopsies #once before i got dxed i was trying out a new therapist #and after an in-depth explanation of my fear around driving and the built up shame i had from still just having my permit #she told me to ‘just get in the car and drive’ #girl do you think i didn’t try that. my whole issue is that i can’t ‘just’ do it i was hoping we could work on the THREE MENTAL BLOCKS there #anyways i never went back to her. i still seethe a bit when i think abt it #anywho. sick and tired of being denied help and then chastised when i survive anyways #like yeah i’m alive. be a lot FUCKING better if you just gave me a hand though #but noooo because i’m not falling apart in front of you clearly i’m dramatic #tbf i have an incredibly high pain tolerance and have been an expert masker since i was a child #but still. not all disability is visible asshat. am i supposed to be able to function on my own or not why is there no right answer #anywho i’ve always felt a lot of connection to those with chronic fatigue #probs bc we both have deal with ‘it’s not that big a deal’ or ‘you’re being lazy/sensitive’ or ‘just suck it up’ #not to mention constant anxiety is EXHAUSTING. fight-or-flight takes up so much energy dude

[mars-ipan]

you guys ever think about the milgram shock experiments? i think about the milgram shock experiments a lot. they feel kinda relevant right now for some reason. hm

#marzi speaks #marzirants #humans are inclined to follow orders. it is how our brain works #we inherently don’t like starting conflict so we tend to do what we’re told #if we don’t like doing what we’re told to do then we tend to try to come up with a justification for it #in the case of the shock experiments it was ‘i will not be responsible if someone is hurt. it will be the testers’ fault’ #we eventually decide to resist when the cognitive dissonance of commiting the action becomes more than that of disobeying #which is at a different point for each person #some people are better at resisting orders than others. this may be inherent but is (by my hypothesis) more likely to be practiced #some people- in an attempt to justify their actions- almost adopt a persona able to commit crueler crimes #one man mentioned being disgusted with himself in the debrief of the experiment #during the experiment he had become almost sadistic- pressing the button more than was necessary and smiling upon hearing screams of pain #they were fake but he didn’t know that at the time #all this to say. we are all incredibly susceptible to propaganda- especially from those we view as authority figures #be it from a government or people we simply look up to #so. when a government-lead genocide occurs. it is not a good idea to blame every citizen of that government for it #chances are any citizen assisting the government fell for the propaganda. chances are you’ve fallen for some of your own #because even with our desires to justify bad things. a genocide is a lot for someone to justify #so . to assume an entire population is cruel simply because their government is #would be. bad. especially if that population already has some separate negative stereotypes about them #which are inherently insiduous and could be dogwhistled in to a lottt of language #um. hold people accountable for sure #but make sure they’re actually responsible for anything first #and be careful not to fall for propaganda of your own. because it is not something that just ‘the bad guys’ make #mkay. getting off my soapbox now. i have homework to finish and a shower to take

[mars-ipan]

honestly being mentally ill and trying very hard to advocate for the mentally ill feels like a constant fucking battle sometimes

#marzi speaks #marzirants #just thinking abt it no inciting incident #but like. i remember being a little kid and telling all of my classmates to stop calling themselves ‘ocd’ bc that wasn’t how ocd worked #(i recently learned that my mom’s side of the family (my uncle especially) had obsessive-compulsive tendencies and that fighting felt like #it had a purpose) #a few years ago i learned more about psychosis. i stopped calling people ‘psycho’ and begged everyone who did to stop as well #that was tiring #now ‘narcissist’ is the buzzword of the year people are throwing around willy-nilly #and now i have to explain to people that NPD is not ‘villain disorder’ #godddd. can people like. stop trying to call people mentally ill when they mean bad #please. pretty please. please i am so tired of having this conversation my entire life

[mars-ipan]

i KNOW it was bait i know but i just saw a tiktok of this woman saying some shit like “gen z can’t use a paper map they can’t read cursive if they take over the world it’ll be easy to get it back” and i am so bitter bc 1- if a child cannot do something then their guardians have failed to teach them 2- most of the things she mentioned are not things we actually need in the year of our lord 2023 3- why do you consider gen z as an aggressor trying to take over the world and 4- I CAN FUCKING DO THOSE THINGS

#marzirants #GODDDD it was like some weird standup thing too. such awkward timing #i fucking hate people like that #this woman literally said with a straight face (actually a creepy botox smile) that gen z can’t read paper maps and need a phone gps #ma’am. ma’am i am looking you in the eyes. do you think atlases and google maps are so fundamentally different #that knowing how one works would not inform you on how the other works even slightly?????? #‘god i dunno how to read this paper map the directions are all confusing. thank god for my digital map that looks the exact fucking same’ #fucking idiot. #‘mnehhh they can’t read cursive’ bitch i can WRITE in cursive quite well actually. maybe ur handwriting is just ass #and THEN that whole like. take over the world part #huh??? whuh???? since when has generation z been the face of world domination???? #you motherfuckers think zoomers are plotting to take over the government???? girlie we’re plotting ways to get out of bed in the morning #like. are you referring to how gen z is growing up and entering the political sphere as adults who can vote??? #are we taking over the government by performing our civic responsibility??? #like i hate to break it to you. one day you will die and gen z will be the generation ‘in charge’. that’s called the passage of time #so sick of this shit. ma’am you are beefing with 19yos #like if you are two generations older than me you do not need to be beefing with me !!! stay in your lane #if i am the ‘child’ in this scenario i should not have to tell you to grow the fuck up. jesus #the immaturity of it all i mean really. that’s some playground insult bullshit #‘you’re so dumb you can’t even read cursive loser !!!’ damn bitch if ur gonna insult me at least be accurate. lying is a bad look on you #honestly if someone randomly starts beefing with me for *checks notes* being born in the 2000s #i’m just gonna activate every zoomer bone in my body. i will start using slang i hate #just because i know it’d piss them off #i’d write ‘get bent cunt’ on a little flashcard in perfect cursive just to prove a point #god. i’m so sick of all the generation war stuff #completely fucking unnecessary. imagine starting beef with someone like 5 developmental stages behind you #‘take over the world’ fucking moron. that’s how society works we like to call it time #literally like. old man shouts at cloud levels of unnecessary #i know i shouldn’t let such clear bait get under my skin like that but #it is 2:30 am so my impulse control is inhibited. also i’m bitter

[mars-ipan]

What do you think lesbians are attracted to in women that we can’t be attracted to in men?

It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives woman-only attraction.

It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.

Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait women have that men can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.

Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?

? i think it’s all just words, anon. sexuality isn’t real- it’s something humans made up. just like gender. an animal can’t really be “homosexual” because that’s a human concept- just like how your dog doesn’t really care what pronouns you call it- it’s not applicable to anything beyond the human psyche.

and people are messy. so no, there’s no real universal definition of “lesbian.” a lesbian is someone who says they are a lesbian. i trust that person to know who they are and why, and i’m not gonna try to say they aren’t because they don’t fit what i think a lesbian is. not to mention, it’s not really my business.

it’s human nature to try to make sense of things- to put people in boxes, so to speak. but queerness is something so ambiguous and fluid that if you try to force it into a concrete definition, it begins to contradict itself.

i’m assuming you’re coming from a good intention here- it sounds to me like this is something you tend to worry about, and i’m glad you wanted to hear my thoughts.

my aunt, who is nonbinary, is a lesbian. she always has been- i was the flower girl at her wedding. a cis woman who is only attracted to women (self-proclaimed identity) may also choose to call herself a lesbian. both people are correct in their definitions of their identities

a lesbian could be attracted to me, a genderfluid person. i’m male sometimes- that wouldn’t make that person any less of a lesbian.

every label is simply a word a person feels is comfortable to describe themselves. my personal favorite is “queer”- my identity is ambiguous and ever-changing- and, of course, strange. ultimately, this is a question with no real answer. everyone thinks what they think about themselves, but identity is so personal and everyone thinks a little differently. we can’t categorize people- i think we tend to forget that the reason we formed this community is because we didn’t fit the definitions of identity.

ultimately: gender is fake, orientation is by extension fake, life is a ball of play doh and if you really want to you can eat it

#ask #anon #marzirants #dunno if this made any sense but. that’s how i feel about all this #thanks for sending me this. i like sharing my thoughts #i think people are as fluid and unrealistic as art #and in art the rules are made to be broken

[mars-ipan]

y’know i do have a lot of similarities to my mother and i do celebrate that but if i keep getting reduced to a “mini-me” i may just lose my shit

#marzi speaks #marzirants #like my mom n i have a lot in common. and it’s great! #we share clothes we give each other tips on creative stuff (my art her home decor) #we both love to learn and we both have a lot of shared opinions #hell we even have similar facial structures #but the ONE thing that gets me compared to her the most is the fact that we don’t take shit lying down + we voice our minds #which. when ur a ‘woman’. is. hm #my mom got a lot of shit growing up for being a woman who spoke her mind. lots of snide comments #ppl focused less on her words and more on her tone yaknow? #and i feel like the ‘haha you’re just like your mother’ comments are my version of that #like yeah i’m like her. mama didn’t raise no pushover. now stop ignoring what i’m saying #it’s only when i’m voicing my concerns about something too. like ok r u gonna keep ignoring me or r u gonna respect what i have to say #it ESPECIALLY happens when that concern is that something is misogynystic which is mainly what’s ringing that alarm bell i think #like you can’t respond to everything i say with ‘what are ya a lawyer’ or ‘you’re just like your mom’ i want ANSWERS #but if i dare to get frustrated about it then i’m EXTRA compared to her #like yeah!!! i’m like my mom!! bc she won’t stand for bullshit and neither will i now listen to me!! #idk. it irritates me #esp bc i’m very similar to my dad too. but nobody compares me to him #i don’t mind being my mom’s ‘mini-me’ 90% of the time but that 10%. hoo #why you gotta be misogynistic abt it. god damn

[mars-ipan]

that post has me thinking abt how shitty ableism is so i’m gonna do a little positivity post

if you have horrible intrusive thoughts i see you. i understand you. it’s gonna be okay. i love you. i stand with you

if you’re prone to paranoia it’s okay. you’re safe. everyone you worry for is safe. i promise it’s gonna be okay. take a deep breath. i understand you. i love you. i stand with you.

if you’re low-empathy or lack it entirely i see you. it’s alright. you’re human. you’re not a bad person. you are not incapable of kindness. i stand with you.

if you handle rejection poorly i see you. it’s gonna be alright. you are worthy of love. you deserve good things. people don’t hate you. i understand you. i love you. i stand with you.

if you dissociate i see you. just take a moment to look around you. name what colors things are. you are real. you exist, and your body is yours and yours alone. i love you. i stand with you.

if you hallucinate and/or have delusions it’s okay. you’re not crazy, or evil. i love you. i stand with you.

if you experience mania i see you. things will calm down soon. you’re not crazy. try to take as deep a breath as you can. you’ve got it, there you go. i love you. i stand with you.

if you have hygiene issues i see you. it’s okay to just do what you can today, even if that’s only picking up one soda can. even if it’s nothing. just keep trying. thirty seconds may not be two minutes, but it’s infinitely more than nothing. you don’t have to stand in the shower. you are deserving of love. i understand you. i love you. i stand with you.

if you have a mental illness or symptoms that people find “scary” or “ugly” or “weird” or “evil” i see you. you’re so much more than what people make you out to be. you are just as deserving of love as anyone else. i love you. i love you. i love you. i stand with you.

#idk feeling. solidarity #many of these apply to me btw #there’s more i was thinking of adding but it’s like 1 am i gotta go. to bed #marzirants

[mars-ipan]

while it’s a great first step to remove phrases like “i hate myself” or “if x happens i’m gonna kms” etc etc from your lexicon i think we also need to get rid of things that subtly cause self-deprecation

“i’m an ugly crier” no. you’re a messy crier. do you know a single person who cries beautifully. or handsomely. no of course not it’s crying. it’s messy. if your nose is running and your face is all red and you’re drooling and you can hardly get a sentence out you’re not ugly crying. you’re messy crying. crying isn’t about being attractive stop worrying about it

“i may be stupid” no. you are not stupid. what you did was silly, not stupid. you may be silly. which is normal. we all make silly mistakes sometimes that’s just how people work. it’s not stupid so stop calling yourself that

#marzirants #short one for tonite bc i’m exhausted #was thinking abt this today tho. we have so many small little phrases that make us put ourselves down #and it’s hard to notice until you’re looking for them #let’s stop insulting ourselves. please

[mars-ipan]

y’know i think people who claim that voting is pointless are wrong. voting is insufficient, yes, but absolutely not pointless. especially on local levels where one vote has more influence.

like. yes, voting is not enough, and on a presidential level, it isn’t even really that reliable because the electoral college is a thing that exists and is horrible. it doesn’t give long-term solutions to problems, and a lot of “respectable” politicians do jack-all about. basically anything that could cause controversy.

but! voting keeps literal fascists out of power- at least, directly. what seems easier to you: pressuring a fascist into changing their mind, or pressuring a wet blanket into doing what they promised and then some? this is especially true on a local level- from what i know local politicians tend to like. actually do more for the area they have power in. especially when the citizens are very passionate about it. probably has something to do with knowing some of the people there. anyways

so like yeah, voting and only voting is like putting neosporin on a wound needing stitches and calling it good. but neosporin can help patch up the surrounding scrapes, giving the body more energy to heal the main gash. this simile is getting away from me but tl;dr voting makes radical change easier and more effective because you’re fighting inaction instead of the action of making things so much worse

#marzirants #source: i live in texas and the sooner we get abbott out of here the sooner we can work on reversing all his shit #also this is abt american politics bc that’s what i live in but i’m sure it applies to voting in other places too #just. replace the word ‘president’ as necessary #also pls don’t take this as like. a highly credible post #obviously i think i’m right but i didn’t research this or anything #literally just. me getting my thoughts down and putting them on my blog bc why the hell not #ANYWHO #your vote makes yourself heard. your actions after the vote make yourself listened to #so go vote. and then go protest. and call. and write letters. and take other actions i’m not listing ‘em all

[mars-ipan]

autism moms piss me off SO bad

#marzirants #maybe. we’ll see how long these tags get #i’m in the very unique position of being a twin sibling to a kid with autism. i watched (and helped) his personality develop (as he did mine #and honestly? you can really tell where my mom went from an Autism Mom(tm) to a mom who put her kids first #when he was little he would go to this therapy. i guess it helped him mask? #anyways my parents quickly realized that this wasn’t gonna help him. he’d have no free time to actually learn to navigate the world #they didn’t want that for him so before we were even five he was out of that therapy #my brother and i have always had a very deep understanding of each other- we know each other better than anyone else #and i think that’s why my parents attribute some of his initial learning to talk to me. i helped him be more comfy or something #anyways. the tipping point for my mom was early on thank god #she was talking to other parents in this group and someone gave her the best advice she could have heard: #look at things from your kid’s perspective. then solve problems from there #since she internalized that her goals went from ‘stop the meltdown’ to ‘help my kid feel comfortable’ #they got him a pair of noise-cancelling headphones. a weighted vest- a spongebob weighted blanket (that i currently use) #and he became a lot more comfortable #now my brother’s crazy extroverted and really good at getting people to like him #it was funny- in middle school just abt every girl he knew liked him but he was oblivious. i was a little jealous of his popularity actually #i think we’re mutually jealous of each other. but that’s mostly a twin thing #ANYWAYS when autism moms say their bullshit i think of how my brother would be today had my parents not learned #and that scares me. he still heavily struggles with internalized ableism- imagine if he had that pushed on him at home. #imagining him in that situation makes me SO FUCKING angry you have no idea. that’s my fucking brother #for context- him and i have the closest sibling bond i’ve ever seen. we Get Each Other even though we bicker 24/7 #we’ve gotten into maybe like. 3 physical fights #this dude is like. an integral part of who i am and vice versa #the thought that something could have hurt him growing up breaks my heart #i worry that something has sometimes #anyways. nobody deserves to go through that shit #if you blame your autistic kid’s (excuse me- Child With Autism’s) meltdown on the full moon while you completely ignore their needs? #i’m gonna kick the shit out of you. #they’re trying to communicate with you. if you’re not willing to speak their language? too bad. that’s parenting. suck it the fuck up

[mars-ipan]

ok this hasn’t like fully happened to me yet but i fucking hate when ppl ask me my opinion on some deeply political shit and expect a fully nuanced and complex answer. girl i am a high schooler

#in texas no less!!!!! do you think i was taught anything???? #i’m lucky to even know that i don’t know shit!!! #my fucking history textbook (which was first printed in 2004) calls native americans ‘indians’ ffs!!!! #like i am Not getting a very good historical education right now and i don’t have the time to seek out more info yet #at least wait until i’ve taken like. an entry level college course so i can at least think i know something #i mean texas!!! especially texas!!! sucks at educating its high schoolers #you wanna know something? in my state there exists a school named after ronald reagan. THERE’S ONE NAMED AFTER ROBERT E LEE #(i know this from statewide band competitions btw) #like!! do you think the state where kids graduate from robert e lee high school teaches students about fucking marx?? or lenin? no!! #i don’t know shit!!! and that’s okay bc i am a literal child! fuck! #marzirants

[mars-ipan]

“we don’t owe anyone an education” yes this is true the burden of teaching doesn’t fall on the oppressed. however would i rather have my grandparents who are trying their best learn about pansexuality from me, a pansexual, or the internet, which could tell them all i want is sex (aka harmful misinfo)? not to mention, how are they supposed to learn how to understand my pronouns properly if i don’t teach them? it may not be our duty to teach the ignorant, but usually the ignorant are not that way by choice, and if we push people away with “i don’t have to teach you” then all we’re doing is causing them to associate us, the oppressed, with coldness and disdain. as exhausting as it is to constantly explain the same things over and over (and i’m not saying we should constantly explain), it’s much more harmful to the community as a whole to never teach anyone anything.

#marzirants #this isn’t quite as coherent as i’d like but oh well #btw i used queerness as an example bc. hi i’m queer. but i think this extends at least somewhat to other marginalized communities

[mars-ipan]

one important part of prejudice that people tend to forget about is the whole “you cant criticize this person they belong to x group!” mentality. if you think it is amoral to criticize a gay person who has truly done harm because you see it as homophobic, guess what! you’re the homophobe here because you are reducing that person to their gayness! substitute any other marginalized group here it works regardless

i’m so sick of people calling other people bigots for offering valid criticism just because someone is a part of an oppressed group. people are complicated. go outside

#marzirants #yes this was inspired by all the musk stuff going on #i’m losing my mind at dumbasses out here #‘aaa u can’t make fun of him he has autism ur ableist!!!’ #hon this man is a classist AT LEAST who has done many horrible things. it’s not the asd we’re mad about