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#magic the gathering (of the juggalos)
midnightmadwoman · 8 months
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If I had a quarter for the infernal circuses in pop culture I can think of, I'd have a dollar.
Which is quite a bit, even by Doofenshmirtz standards.
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racefortheironthrone · 3 months
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fantasy sometimes doesn't afford itself the ability to fantasize about a better world with many of the same problems of real life. thankfully ive found fantasy thatfantasize about things like gender roles, orientations, social status, etc. being more accepting, and the world kinder more often than not. question is, as hard as it is to find solid urban fantasy, are there anyworks you know of that use itself to imagine a optimal city for us urban nerds? magic public works, free dragon transit?
So there is a real problem in the fantasy and sci-fi genres that they often have a failure of revolutionary imagination, as I’ve termed it. We’re so used to not just the world as it is but also the public historical imagination of how change happens, that even in art that’s supposed to be about radically reimagining our world or new worlds, we often revert back to the familiar. (I find this tic particularly annoying in alternate history, which is supposed to be about imagining how the world could have evolved differently, but often reverts back to a retelling of (often bad) history with the numbers filed off.)
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(A sadly rare counter-example.)
You raise a fascinating question about the potential for urbanist fantasy. This is often quite rare in urban fantasy, because often out of a desire to maintain the verisimilitude of urban life, they default to a masquerade scenario which renders it impossible to explore the impact of magic on transit, housing, and other aspects of urbanism because the central conceit is that people with magic are trying to hide and thus have no impact on the mundane world.
However, it does crop up sometimes in Magitech settings, because their central conceit is all about how magic would function in place of science and lead to new ways of organizing societies, urban and otherwise. For a popular example, look at how Arcane examines the social impacts of Hextech and Shimmer. My personal favorite example of urbanist fantasy is the plane of Ravnica from Magic the Gathering.
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Ravnica is a ecumenopolis, a city-state that covers the whole planet. The city is governed by a guild council, each of whom are responsible for an aspect of the city’s physical and social infrastructure:
The Azorius Senate is responsible for running the courts and the legal system, and sometimes they run the police as well (although they have a jurisdictional dispute with the Boros Legion on that front).
House Dimir are couriers, messengers, journalists, private investigators, spies, assassins, thieves, and librarians, as well as the city’s clandestine intelligence service - if it deals with information in any way, the Dimir have a hand in it…or do they?
The Cult of Rakdos run the city’s entertainment, food service, retail, and labor recruitment (lots of shanghaing and press ganging goes on in Ravnica) - and they’re also a crazed juggalo bdsm blood cult who are responsible for keeping an ancient arch-demon entertained so he doesn’t try to destroy the city, again.
The Gruul Clans are an anarchist collective responsible for the planet’s wilderness areas, which they try to maximize by violent raids that tear down developed areas any chance they get - which also makes them Ravnica’s main demolition industry. The Boros Legion spends a lot of time defending built-up areas from Gruul rampages.
The Selesnya Conclave are a hippie nature cult commune who manage the city’s parks and other green spaces, as well as providing basic welfare services (food, “shelter,” clothing, etc.) to the city’s poor. They also use magic to do weird hivemind brainwashing in the name of harmony and unity, and they can raise giant Ent-Kaiju to defend the city in times of need.
The Orzhov Syndicate are a vampire banker mafia, and also one of the city’s biggest religions. They believe in debt on a spiritual level, and their religion fully embraces indulgences to their logical conclusion. The Orzhov preach that you can literally buy your way into heaven, and that debts to the (Catholic by way of Prosperity Gospel Evangelical) Church or its many front organizations and legitimate businesses will carry over into the next life; the Orzhov practice debt slavery on both living people and ghosts. And lest you think it’s all a cover for profit-making, they can summon dark angels to conduct rituals, lead services, and make war on their enemies. Something above is answering their prayers…
My personal favorite is the Izzet League, an institute of mad scientists and engineers and elementalist wizards who combine science and magic to research, build, and maintain the city’s infrastructure (as well as funding all tech R&D and theoretical and experimental research in physics, chemistry, and engineering) - the power grid, water and sewer systems, heating and gas lines, as well as the city’s mass transit and transportation/freight system, are all powered by their steam and fire and lightning and Magitech gadgets and robots and cyborgs made out of a magic metal named mizzium. Yes, a lot of their devices explode, and yes their golems and robots and elementals have a tendency to go rogue, but that’s the price of progress!
The Golgari Swarm are a subterranean necromantic cabal who run the city’s waste disposal, burial services, and do the bulk of the agricultural production for Ravnica’s hungry masses. All of Ravnica’s citizens are entitled to a food dole provided by the Golgari’s fungi farms as a form of basic income. Just don’t think too hard about what went into the compost heaps or what your rations might be made of…
The Boros Legion is Ravnica’s main police and military, led by a literal host of warrior angels. Imagine the combination of a police force entirely made up of noir detectives and loose cannon Dirty Harry-esque cops and an army with flying fortresses led by fiery angels who are all deeply dramatic lesbians. True believers one and all, the Boros are here to mete out justice and divine wroth upon evildoers wherever they hide. If they had their way, the Orzhov would all be in prison along with the Gruul and the Rakdos, but the damn bureaucrats in the Azorius Senate keep trying them up in knots with paperwork.
The Simic Combine are responsible for the city’s environmental quality, ensuring biodiversity and sustainability in a global metropolis; they are also the city’s universal health care providers. All Ravnicans have access to free health care, as long as they consent to the Combine’s biomantic research. See, the Simic are the other group of mad scientists/mages in the city, except they went into genetics, environmental science, and (marine) biology and they believe in individual and societal evolution through the use of augmentation, cloning, and splicing. After all, why stop at curing someone’s respiratory illness when you could also give them gills? Or giant crab claws? Or tentacles?
I love the world-building and the attention to urban systems and infrastructure in Ravnica. More than most, they’ve thought about what urban life needs to function and made it magical.
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when yall people headcanon adult/teen dipper as like this softboy youre all literally so wrong. adult/teen dipper would not be cute or sweet he would be a nightmare and a menace. he would be a regular on r/askreddit. he would eat 1 (one) edible when he's 16 and then put "stoner" in his social media bios until he's 30 and actually smokes weed and hates it. the only thing stopping him from using 4chan in this day and age is the alt-right pipeline and he regularly converses with incels on reddit "just to understand their viewpoint." he listens exclusively to abba until he's thirteen and discovers radiohead and suddenly he goes down a pipeline and listens to my bloody valentine and the smashing pumpkins and the mountain goats and maybe a little bit of nine inch nails but only year zero and the popular songs because he pretends to be pretentious but in reality he plays the five nights at freddy's song on repeat. adult/teen dipper wears flannel but not in a cute way because he's the kind of person who believes jackets only need to be washed biannually and also horrible graphic tees. you know the ones. mabel got him into homestuck and he only reads it to post horrible theories on reddit like ARE MOM AND BRO THE SAME PERSON???? HERE'S PROOF!!! he watches matpat and thinks it equates to leftist theory. He is not a funko pop collecter i will give him that but he does own like three. he completely unironically plays magic the gathering and yugioh. he shows up to conventions with mabel and she's dressed in incredibly elaborate cosplay. but he is wearing literally nothing but jeans, a hoodie that smells like gender dysphoria incarnate, and a shirt he stole from ford that says "MATHLETES CHAMP '77" because there was literally nothing even remotely clean in his own collection of horrible graphic tees. and they're all posters for horrible sci-fi movies he likes unironically, shirts that say things like "SARCASM IS MY THIRD LANGUAGE (KLINGON IS MY SECOND)" and he legitimately thinks they make him cool and even mabel has no appriciation for them. you people also have the wrong headcanon of adult/teen MABEL. she has seventeen piercings, and horrible tacky tattoos. every time she gets a new boyfriend she gets it tattooed on her arm and never stops doing this so by the time she's 40 her arm looks like RYAN JORDAN MICHAEL JEROME KYLE KARKAT (she dated a homestuck fan she met at a convention and regrets it) and she thinks to herself maybe that was a bad idea. while dipper is pretentious despite having NOTHING to be pretentious about, mabel listens to artists with 3 followers on soundcloud that are just cartoon sound fx remixes and she is in no way pretentious about it because she's also a diehard kesha fan. she probably dresses like a mix between a fairy-kei girl and nicki minaj, but will settle for less when the need for practicality arises. she is an unironic juggalo. she got dipper into homestuck and was an og rosemary shipper despite being straight. she is the camp hetero. she probably pokes holes in literally everything to attach earring backs to them. she does art commisions online of chibi boys because she's desperate for money. she wouldn't make fun of anyone for being into stuff she thinks is mildly lame. but only because she's saving all that rudeness for dipper because they both know he deserves it. but she would punch a neonazi. no hesitation. give the girl some credit. anyway those are my horrible horrible headcanons. and post.
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keithjeffreys · 2 years
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic: The Gathering of the Juggalos
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fanfictionwithchatgpt · 6 months
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The idea of the cast of "The Vampire Diaries" embracing the Juggalo culture is quite imaginative! Imagine the characters from the show immersing themselves in the world of Juggalos, known for their love of the music and lifestyle associated with the Insane Clown Posse. Here's a fun take on how it might go:
In an alternate universe, Mystic Falls becomes the unlikely host of a massive Juggalo festival. As the town's supernatural residents go about their usual drama, they find themselves swept up in the unexpected phenomenon that is Juggalo culture.
**Elena Gilbert**: Elena, known for her strong will and determination, fully embraces the Juggalo way of life. She rocks the face paint and gathers her friends to enjoy the music and camaraderie of the festival.
**Damon Salvatore**: Damon, ever the rebel, takes to the Juggalo lifestyle with gusto. He finds a kindred spirit in the Juggalos' sense of not fitting in and revels in the chaos and party atmosphere of the festival.
**Stefan Salvatore**: Stefan, despite his brooding nature, finds himself intrigued by the Juggalo culture. He explores the music, art, and philosophy behind it, and secretly indulges in some face paint to blend in.
**Caroline Forbes**: Caroline's bubbly personality fits right in with the lively Juggalo crowd. She embraces the colorful fashion, enjoys the music, and organizes a Juggalette meet-up during the festival.
**Bonnie Bennett**: Bonnie uses her magical abilities to enhance the festival experience for everyone. She adds mesmerizing light shows to the performances and creates intricate face paint designs for her friends.
**Matt Donovan**: Matt, the town's resident human, is initially baffled by the Juggalo culture. However, he gets swept up in the infectious energy of the festival and finds himself dancing and singing along.
**Klaus Mikaelson**: The Original Hybrid is amused by the Juggalo chaos and decides to join in on the fun. His intimidating presence contrasts with his willingness to embrace the carefree spirit of the festival.
**Rebekah Mikaelson**: Rebekah loves the fashion aspect of Juggalo culture. She adorns herself with vibrant clothes and accessories, turning heads with her unique style.
**Enzo St. John**: Enzo fully embraces the Juggalo lifestyle, enjoying the music, camaraderie, and sense of belonging that comes with it.
As the Juggalo festival takes over Mystic Falls, the characters of "The Vampire Diaries" find themselves forging new connections and friendships while immersing themselves in a world that's both unexpected and strangely fitting. The result is a mashup of supernatural drama and Juggalo chaos that provides a refreshing twist to the beloved TV show's universe.
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sailorvinus · 3 years
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i always thought growing up, sticks and stones can break my bones but names can never hurt me. then i got crushed by a falling wendy's sign
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❝I know you're probably dead and shit so you can’t hear me, but R.I.P. and I hope you find yourself in paradise filled with all the big booty juggalettes you could ever want. You’re gonna get greeted in Heaven by a hologram that looks like Shaggy 2 Dope and he’s gonna be like. Walk right in the house, when you're having supper, and dip his nuts in your soup, gloop.❞
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lokewolf-father · 3 years
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So I Listened to the First Five Insane Clown Posse Albums...
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And I really enjoyed myself! I tried this post already, but the Tumblr app is a piece of garbage and lost it somehow, so here goes again. To make a long story short, even though I didn't really enjoy the first two albums, Carnival of Carnage and The Ringmaster, I found a lot to enjoy about Insane Clown Posse, and can safely say I like them. Death metal guitar mixed with heavy bass, carnival sounds, and lyrics about necromantic clown sorcerers, killer toys, and cartoonish depictions of murder make their concept albums something that is both novel and undeniably cool when it isn't too crude or juvenile, which is more frequent than I would like.
I should probably state, especially considering I'm writing off the first two albums, that I am not the target audience for ICP. I do not consider myself a Juggalo in any definition of the word; I don't really listen to rap, and couldn't define hip-hop without looking it up. I do however enjoy horror movies and low-brow entertainment like comic books, and consider Marilyn Manson to be one of my personal heroes, so believe me when I say that I really do like aspects of the cavalcade of crazy that is the Insane Clown Posse.
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Riddle Box is awesome, and I find myself wondering if this is the album where people feel like ICP came into their own. Part of their mythology is that if the Dark Carnival, where sinners are judged by a cavalcade of characters before being killed and sent to their souls ultimate destination. Several albums are designated as Joker's Cards, and depict characters and elements of the Carnival.
The intro is awesome, introducing the Riddle Box, which is a magic box that either gives the slain a vision of God, warming their souls and sending them to Heaven, or a demonic fog that drives them insane and sends them to Hell.
One of my favorite songs, "Chicken Huntin' (Slaughter House Mix)" is on this song, and demonstrates ICP's understanding of their audience. A song about killing dumb, ignorant hillbillies, I have to assume it's cathartic to people who left behind wacky rural families behind when they left home. "Toy Box" is about a guy with murderous toys that turn on him, and makes me laugh. It sounds hokey, and that's because it is, hokey and worth a listen. A lot of this is appealing to me because I don't listen to rap music, partly because I don't care for the subject matter.
I like rappers like Kanye West and Eminem because I can't identify with or enjoy a lot of the gangsta-macho stuff that mainstream rap can't seem to get away from. With ICP, their personas are over the top killer clowns, and that's awesome! Because they're so goofy and have been pretty much rejected from pop culture, their music appeals to social outcasts and others who are down on their luck, something that Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J recognize.
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That being said, before I move into the next album, I should probably mention "Ol' Evil Eye", ICP's own adaptation of Poe's "The Tell-tale Heart". Good shit, even if it makes the master turn over in his grave.
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The Great Milenko is fantastic, and is a Joker's Card about an evil necromancer clown that tempts you into damning yourself. I'm told this is more of a hip-hop album, but as someone who isn't that familiar with this kind of music, I can't tell the difference. What I will say is there are more songs here that I like than on the previous three albums. The intro, which is read by none other than Alice Cooper, is excellent, as is the title track and "Hokus Pokus", both of which are sufficiently creepy and dark.
"Piggy Pie" is a song about murdering dickhead cops that uses a very, um, clever three little pigs motif. As a funny aside, this album was initially put out by Hollywood Records, and had to be approved by Disney, who forced them to change this song. The album was pulled from shelves anyway, making the whole exercise of censorship pointless anyway. It's just funny to think that Disney read associated with ICP at one point.
"Southwest Voodoo" is another effective song, featuring a black magic chant for chorus, which is to say nothing of "Halls of Illusion", which has Slash on guitar!
One of my other favorites off this album is the existential "How Many Times", which puts you in the mindset of the type of person ICP is talking to. Broke, down on your luck, arrested, your stereo stolen, it's hard to imagine things can ever really get better; in a world that rejects you and shows your no respect, why not remake yourself as a psychotic clown? As Manson says, "They'll never be good to you/bad to you/they'll never be anything at all". Any aging goth kid can understand where ICP is coming from here.
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The Amazing Jeckel Brothers is the first album I listened to, and probably my favorite one. "Terrible" and "Bring it On" have the heavy sound that I love, and "Assassins" is just an awesome, badass song in general. If hip-hop is just another word for tough guy music, these songs definitely fit the bill. The bass lines make the songs positively rock in a way I didn't think was possible for ICP. "Everybody Rize" is a cool Juggalo anthem, as is "Fuck the World", calling out a culture and industry that rejects and hates them like a boss. If you're on the fence about these fuckers, this is another great album to start with, especially considering the touching final song, "Nothing's Left", which reflects on the broken nature of the world, and wonders if there can be any real salvation for anyone. Considering ICP are Christian and ultimately incorporated they're religion into their music, I know what their opinion on this is, but just begging the question gives the song a universal appeal that even an angry atheist like myself can identify with.
At the end of the day, I have to figure that getting to know the Insane Clown Posse was rewarding for me. I'm not a Juggalo, but I understand their world a lot better and get how they can be kind to others and have something special with their subculture. I plan to listen to more ICP and write about them, but I'd like to write about Juggalo culture first. If you're a Juggalo or have any thoughts, I want to hear from you! Have you met the Insane Clown Posse or been to their shows? Have you been to the gathering of the Juggalos? An I wrong about anything I wrote above?
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Insane Clown Posse + Magic the Gathering = I'm not actually sure
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You know, I was gonna make a joke, but I'm not even sure what to say about this.
This is a real thing btw.
Taken off the official Insane Clown Posse event page for their upcoming Dark Carnival Con.
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dagdamusic · 4 years
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I was nominated by @2raw4fm to do 10 live photos in 10 days... Nah, but heres 10 photos for #throwbackthursday. If I tagged you, you're nominated. Rules below. 1. Magic Stick with @makloo 2. First show at drews. @detroitrap 3. First sold out drews show. @astray313 4. 13th Gathering of the Juggalos @ponyevans 5. Another packed drews w @lilna5ty 6. Simons passed capacity with @bang_belushi_ 7. Oakaloosa Festival in Southwest. @julianantoineisjypsy 8. Sold out crofoot. @djamf 9. Rockin Downriver with @paradime 10. Another sold out drews. @tonyrizzo Every day, select an image from a day in the life of a Performer/Artist and post it, then nominate somebody to take the challenge. 10 days, 10 Performance photos, 10 nominations. Be active, be positive, be passionate...Raise Awareness of the Arts https://www.instagram.com/p/B8zdl5ah4BX/?igshid=mcn5xpkw24qp
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mindofsmoothie · 4 years
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#Repost @therealicp with @get_repost ・・・ Juggalos, juggalettes, the time has come! This summer, Psychopathic Records and the Insane Clown Posse proudly present to you...THE GATHERING BIZZAR! The 21st Annual Gathering of the Juggalos will be held August 5-8, 2020, at the epic Nelson Ledges Quarry Park in Garrettsville, Ohio--The legendary Crystal Forest! Considered by most to be the greatest location in Gathering history, this incredible and hallowed place was the very first outdoor venue to host to the Gathering, 17 years ago. With unparalleled beauty, scenic cliffs, and majestic lakeside camping--the magic of the Dark Carnival lies deep within its shaded forest depths, and in the hearts and minds of the Juggalo tribe! It's time to get live, Family! Join us for the 21st Annual GOTJ at Crystal Forest in August 2020. More information and flavor will be dropping soon, so keep your eyes peeled and your ears wide open. It's GOTJ 2020 at CRYSTAL FOREST! A journey completely out ya atmosphere...Welcome to the Gathering Bizzar! Whoop whoop! #GOTJ2020 https://www.instagram.com/p/B6_QHr_lxpI/?igshid=1tm3sjh14u13p
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fanfictionwithchatgpt · 8 months
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In an alternate universe, Mystic Falls becomes the unlikely host of a massive Juggalo festival. As the town's supernatural residents go about their usual drama, they find themselves swept up in the unexpected phenomenon that is Juggalo culture.
**Elena Gilbert**: Elena, known for her strong will and determination, fully embraces the Juggalo way of life. She rocks the face paint and gathers her friends to enjoy the music and camaraderie of the festival.
**Damon Salvatore**: Damon, ever the rebel, takes to the Juggalo lifestyle with gusto. He finds a kindred spirit in the Juggalos' sense of not fitting in and revels in the chaos and party atmosphere of the festival.
**Stefan Salvatore**: Stefan, despite his brooding nature, finds himself intrigued by the Juggalo culture. He explores the music, art, and philosophy behind it, and secretly indulges in some face paint to blend in.
**Caroline Forbes**: Caroline's bubbly personality fits right in with the lively Juggalo crowd. She embraces the colorful fashion, enjoys the music, and organizes a Juggalette meet-up during the festival.
**Bonnie Bennett**: Bonnie uses her magical abilities to enhance the festival experience for everyone. She adds mesmerizing light shows to the performances and creates intricate face paint designs for her friends.
**Matt Donovan**: Matt, the town's resident human, is initially baffled by the Juggalo culture. However, he gets swept up in the infectious energy of the festival and finds himself dancing and singing along.
**Klaus Mikaelson**: The Original Hybrid is amused by the Juggalo chaos and decides to join in on the fun. His intimidating presence contrasts with his willingness to embrace the carefree spirit of the festival.
**Rebekah Mikaelson**: Rebekah loves the fashion aspect of Juggalo culture. She adorns herself with vibrant clothes and accessories, turning heads with her unique style.
**Enzo St. John**: Enzo fully embraces the Juggalo lifestyle, enjoying the music, camaraderie, and sense of belonging that comes with it.
As the Juggalo festival takes over Mystic Falls, the characters of "The Vampire Diaries" find themselves forging new connections and friendships while immersing themselves in a world that's both unexpected and strangely fitting. The result is a mashup of supernatural drama and Juggalo chaos that provides a refreshing twist to the beloved TV show's universe.
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thewickedbohemian · 7 years
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Friendly reminder that even if some elements of a fictional dystopia come true in our world, that doesn’t mean we’re literally headed for the future the dystopia depicts because how could something exist in the past as fiction and the future as reality at the same time (even if it was used as a guidebook, how could they exactly predict the way the dystopia was taken down since you’d think they would plan for something that specific)?
1. Juggalos marching on Washington does not mean we’re headed for a Homestuck future because A. iirc they’re on the wrong side for it to mirror that particular future and B. even if I remembered that part wrong, Homestuck’s gone a lot meta over the years but never meta to the level where characters in the comic could be reading the comic within the comic (even if the characters who were reading it weren’t reading about their own adventures) and to have it so that, in order to avoid that, the “main characters” of this “real life Homestuck” would be people who haven’t heard of the comic and still fit the “requirements” (13 years old (or however old the Alpha kids are), only child, one parental figure etc.), would require almost ridiculous levels of machinations to set everything up for that future and I doubt anyone who’d have the power to do that has the Homestuck knowledge to do that unless something is going on that’s a level of weird that would make Homestuck’s plot look like Dick And Jane.
2. We aren’t in the dark timeline of Back To The Future because A. Trump didn’t make any part of his fortune on sports bets, B. Biff wasn’t based on him but on one of the studio executives who Zemeckis didn’t like (iirc the name of the guy was Rick Tannen) and C. The movies couldn’t exist within any of the realities they take place in unless e.g. everyone has different names in each version and they’re some sort of universal constant but if that’s the case, A. someone in the movies would have mentioned how familiar what they had to do sounded and B. I think we should check if we’re in some sort of absurdist Simpsons-esque cartoon first because a movie series plot seems like a weird thing to have as a universal constant.
3. Speaking of Simpsons, The Simpsons did not predict this unless you think that either the family depicted on the show is real (and therefore everything that happened to them is a real thing in whichever Springfield is theirs) or some other woman named Lisa Marie Simpson will run for (and win) the presidency in 2020 and appoint a nerdy childhood friend of hers named Milhouse Van Houten as her Secretary Of The Treasury. I don’t know about other cases of “Simpsons predicted it” because I make an effort to not really watch the show but I felt this needed refuting both on its predictive power and the predictive power supposedly meaning that world is real in this particular instance.
4. No matter how many social media memes I see about it, we are not headed for the future depicted in The Hunger Games because A. comparing Trump to President Snow implies that the games have been going on for at least a generation (since he wasn’t the first president of Panem); B. For all I know, the statements that his election etc. is what led to the Hunger Games are just posts by supporters of his who want to keep us from rebelling to get him out of power by making us afraid that us trying to stop him is the rebellion that the Hunger Games are because of. C. Suzanne Collins would have to be either God/an avatar thereof (which blows Christianity all to hell), a precog (who for some reason hasn’t claimed the James Randi Foundation million-dollar prize) or a time traveler (and for some reason in our/their universe, time travel works so weirdly that her traveling back in time to publish the book didn’t change/potentially erase the future she came from and cause a paradox because it would do that even without anyone heeding its warnings) to explain the books’ simultaneous fictionality and reality; D. If a future regime (whether or not it’s his) decides they want to literally copy the dystopia depicted in The Hunger Games and that’s why it’s our future, they’d need to build in safeguards against the way the dystopia was taken down that aren’t completely obvious (e.g. illegalizing the name Katniss); E. That meme that seems to imply that the Hunger Games will start in 2018 overlooks the fact that in order for that to happen, everything including the institution of Panem/the district system and the rebellion would have to happen this year, and, unless that was the Trump administration’s goal, I don’t see that happening.
5. We do not live in the 1984 future because, A. Even if it could somehow exist as fiction in the past and reality in the future, it would be banned for being too subversive (and there would be no way that it would sell out like it’s done on Amazon because it wouldn’t be sold anywhere), B. The surveillance etc. isn’t as deep as people think it is and C. The parts of the future that are like 1984 were around long before Trump so he’s not to blame.
6. We do not live in Idiocracy not just because of the obvious things like not having a president who open carries assault weapons on his person at all times or a reality show called Ow! My Balls but because A. For reasons previously discussed in earlier points on this post, it is impossible for something to be a “documentary from the future” and still have that future have happened in reality, B. Just because we have a stupid president does not make him Camacho, and C. IQs are actually rising over time, look it up.
7. Not just the current storyline but any Magic: The Gathering storyline that has already been out can’t be an allegory for our current situation (though in the Magic The Gathering tag on my blog, there’s an interesting theory of mine as to how Earth could exist in that universe and still have that game exist) because A. The only villains in that universe who aren’t too smart to be compared to Trump are either that universe’s version of Elder Gods (who are actually somewhat too mindless to be compared to him) or weren’t villains of their own free will (which I doubt is the case with him unless the section of the conspiratard crowd that’s actually against him are right) and B. In order for the story to have been an allegorical prediction like a lot of people are saying, they would have had to know the election results beforehand and unless Wizards Of The Coast are actual wizards...
8. This is not Star Wars no matter who Trump is in that allegory because if he’s Vader, that means the only ones who can take him down are his long-lost twin children; a son who is living somewhere in the desert with distant relatives and loves to fly, and a daughter whose adoptive parents are either other politicians/royalty (of an opposite political alignment) or celebrities (because they are also kinda “royalty” of a sort) and if he’s Palpatine and we’re in the Revenge Of The Sith phase because Beyonce is pregnant with twins then I’m not sure which thing that “has to happen” (according to this metaphor) is more unlikely; either Jay-Z accepting a cabinet post or Kanye both being the father of the twins and the winner of the 2020 election, Beyonce dying in childbirth and her twins being given up for adoption (with one ending up among her fellow elite and one in some desert flyover state), or Trump (or whoever succeeds him) ruling until said twins are teens/young adults. 
9. This isn’t like Divergent for reasons that will be obvious if you’ve read the third book or seen the third movie but I refuse to mention them because I refuse to accept those particular plot twists as canon but also because the Trump administration isn’t smart enough to be Erudite or selfless enough to be Abnegation (the faction that actually made up most of the government in the Divergent universe)
10. This isn’t Brave New World not just because of the point I keep reiterating about sci-fi not being able to exactly exist as both fiction in the past and reality in the future in the same universe but because corporate-owned TV and lack of social mobility, while sucky, don’t equal biological castes and conditioning from “birth” and, while a lot of people are a bit too football-crazy for comfort, liking sports/games and/or pop culture shouldn’t be something worthy of shame and junk food/drugs, though bad for you in some respects, aren’t freaking soma!
11. This hopefully can’t be Harry Potter (or at least a similar universe) because that means that at best (if he’s the Umbridge in this metaphor with our country being Hogwarts) we have to set up some kind of shadow government that actually makes the decisions (as a DA parallel) while leaving him and his “Inquisitorial Squad” just a puppet government and at worst (if he’s the Voldemort in this metaphor) we have to track down all deaths he (whether directly or indirectly) caused and find out if there’s any scenarios where the parents were killed and a kid survives living with relatives (and if there’s multiple, choose the one that looks the most like a young him) and gradually guide that kid from a distance to achieve his destiny and make sure he gets into some exclusive private school where he ends up meeting his two best friends and saving the world from Trump pretty much every year before finally taking him down in seven years (after this hero kid has lost pretty much everyone he cares about who’s older than him and one or two people the same age).
12. This can’t be Game Of Thrones even though George RR Martin joked about having written 2016, and not just because it isn’t set in the past (although that would be cool yet sad if Game Of Thrones was our history and reality is just an endless chain of similar events occurring, say, once every couple centuries) but because we have far fewer than seven major political families competing for power and because he has been compared to so many characters from that series that if he were somehow all of them mashed up into one fulfilling multiple roles (which helps with the lack of families etc.), he would have killed himself by now (because he’s been compared to so many people that there’s a good chance one of them has killed another one of them) to fulfill the parallel
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vandalamagazine · 7 years
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Week In Review Highlights – September 11th to 16th, 2017
Week In Review Highlights – September 11th to 16th, 2017
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