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goferwashere · 2 months

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Bear Hugger The Terrible, Terrible Liar (Punch-Out!! Monster Hunter AU Oneshot)

WE BACK AT IT AGAIN! THIS TIME FEATURING HONDO, BEAR HUGGER AND DON (BC HE ALWAYS HAS TO WORM HIS WAY INTO EVERYTHING I DO)

Anything under 2k words doesn’t really feel like something to put on ao3, so this one is going on here :3

Also as always @oohbuggypie HERES ANOTHER THING!!

——————

Bear Hugger had been graciously invited to a pool party, hosted by the Major Circuit title holder himself.

It was being held in the pool room, as they usually were. Don had strung up some decorations and tables, and he could smell the contents inside the bloody cooler sitting off to the side. His stomach grumbled, and when Don wasn’t looking he snuck a piece of raw meat from the cooler into his mouth. He noticed that along with the meat there were a few blood bags as well. All O-, Kaiser’s favorite. He tried to ignore the fact that they all looked like they’d come from a hospital.

He was early, always more than happy to help set up. After him was Kaiser, timely as per usual. Then Bull, who seemed very nervous to attend. He was pretty surprised to see that he got everyone to show up.

Lastly though, Macho Man stirred up some trouble when he brought a human along with him as his plus one. Don was very unhappy about this. He not-so-subtlety tried to ‘persuade’ the human to leave, but Macho stepped in with a firm grasp on Don’s wrist and a harsh whispered exchange. He pulled away, and the party began.

Though there weren’t many of them, Macho shedding his human form for the party certainly gave everyone else less room. He was very careful, which was nice, but a good chunk of the pool was now dedicated to Macho. The human was very quiet, just kind of… staring at him, but everyone else seemed to be enjoying themselves. Hugger was grabbing a beer when he glanced out the door and froze.

“Uh, guys? Someone else is pulling in.” Hugger called out to everyone else. Don sat up on the ledge of the pool, fully in his siren form.

“Everyone is here.” He did a double check, and nodded in confirmation. Hugger frowned, doing the same check as Don.

“Who would dare come here on our Saturday? Everyone should know what will happen if they interrupt us.” Kaiser spat, crossing his arms. He was sucking on a pack of blood, with the IV tube looking like a bendy straw. Hugger scratched his head, trying to think. But then he saw who was coming out of the car.

“Oh crud.” It was Hondo. He slapped his forehead. Of course. As he relayed the info to everyone else, and the music came to a halt as everyone began to murmur.

Don was checking his nails. “Why don’t we invite him in? I do love watching humans squirm after seeing us for the first time.” He chuckled. Hugger frowned, and Don could see the disapproval on his face. He rolled his eyes and waved him off. “You’re no fun.”

Hugger looked back and saw him approaching.

“I-I got it! I’ll get him outta our hair.” He called, and didn’t wait for the objections because Hondo was already reaching into his bag for his keys.

He frantically pushed open the door and planted himself firmly between Hondo and the entrance. Hondo stared for a moment before bowing lightly.

“Good Morning, Bear Hugger. Please excuse me, I need to train today.” Hugger chuckled, and waved a hand.

“Bah! Today’s a Saturday,” He turned Hondo around with a hard pat on the back, keeping him focused on the street so that he couldn’t catch a glimpse of the party inside. “No need to train today! That’s what the rest of the week is for.”

Hondo shook his head. “I’m afraid not, I had to skip Wednesday due to an unfortunate incident, so now I must make up for the lost time.” He turned back to face the door, but Hugger grabbed his arm.

“Ah-! Now now, come on…” He was sweating, desperately trying to think of some excuse to get Hondo to leave.

“Why are you acting so odd? Is something happening inside?”

Shoot!

Bear Hugger was mentally cursing himself. He hated lying.

“Oh no no, it’s nothing important, it’s just-” His brain seemed to grind to a halt.

“Are the janitors cleaning?” Hondo raised an eyebrow.

“Well no- I mean-” He mentally cursed himself again. Hondo had just given him a perfectly reasonable explanation and he threw it away. How was Don so good at this? “W-why don’t you come out with me? I can get us some food, my treat.” Hugger nodded towards the parking lot again, but Hondo shook his head.

“The last time we went out for food I watched you dip every piece of sushi you ate into maple syrup. That was… quite disturbing.” Hugger grumbled, not happy about his choice of sauce for sushi being slandered, but pressed on anyway.

“Well, ya just can’t use the building today. I’m sorry Hondo.” He said, not meeting his eye. Hondo crossed his arms. He wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

“I see no sign saying that the building is closed off. It’s really rather important that I train today. I’m sorry Bear.” He placed a hand on his shoulder and headed inside. Hugger let out a yelp, putting his hands on his head before racing in behind him in a panic.

He needed some way to alert everyone else that he was coming. He raised his voice.

“So, what were ya plannin’ on doing today, Hondo?” He yelled, hoping that everyone else could hear him and cover up. Especially Macho.

Hondo looked at him with a frown. “There’s no need to yell, Bear. I am right here.” He was heading towards the weight room, but in order to get there he needed to pass the poolroom. Hugger was sweating now.

“Hondo, you should really go. Maybe come back in 5 or so hours.” He threw out an arbitrary number, figuring that the party must be over by then. He wasn’t slowing down, and he was worried what would happen to him if he barged in on the party. Everyone had always been patient with Hondo, but it was obvious that they were reaching their wit’s end.

Hugger’s anxiety must’ve shone through, because Hondo was now concerned. “Bear, is everything alright with you? Is something happening?” He turned to face him. Hugger could hear the party raging inside the pool room with his enhanced hearing. His eye twitched.

“Just… stay here a minute, will ya?” He stormed over to the pool room door, shutting it behind him and turned off the lights. Everyone could still technically see fine, except for the human, but he had other things on his mind.

“Macho, out yer jewelry back on! We’re cleanin’ up and moving this party to tomorrow.” Hugger announced. Macho curled his tail around his body loosely with a snarl.

“What are you talking about bro? The party isn’t over yet.” His eyes were glowing in the dark, and that unnerved Hugger. The darkness was enough to pull Don out of the water to investigate the disturbance. He thrusted himself out of the water and with nothing but grace he shifted back into his human form. He stalked up to Hugger and put his hand on the light switch in an attempt to turn it back on, but he kept his hand firm.

“What’s the meaning of this, Hugger?” He asked, already knowing the answer.

“I couldn’t get Hondo to leave. He’s dead set on exercisin’ today.” Don groaned at this, and went to push Hugger aside.

“I’ll handle this. He can train and use this building, but when he thinks he’s more important than one of MY parties, it’s time for me to step in.” He spat. Hugger was itching for a facepalm. ‘How could he interrupt this party? He doesn’t even know it’s happenin’ you dimwit!’

He rolled his eyes and stopped Don before he went outside. Don looked over at him with contempt.

“No flare, no scares. got it? Just tell em to go home.” He said sternly. Don simply broke his grip and walked out the door. Hugger saw the grin creeping onto his face, but by then it was too late.

“Hondo!” Don threw out his arms in greeting, going in for a hug. Hondo’s expression didn’t change, but it was clear that happy to see another person. He nodded and reciprocated the hug. They patted each other's backs, and Don pulled away while following his arms so that he was holding Hondo’s hands in his own. “What on earth are you doing here? It’s Saturday!”

Hugger had already gotten a bad feeling. Don was being too nice.

“Apologies, Flamenco. It appears that I may have stumbled into a private meeting of some sort.” Hondo looked over to Hugger, who waved and gave a sheepish smile. Don looked back at him with a dirty look, before putting his sweet persona back on.

“Oh, not at all Hondo.” Don waved his concerns away, and Hugger grimaced as he could hear the difference in his voice.

“But maybe you should take a walk. Go get some rest and come back tomorrow.” He pet Hondo’s cheek, before gently pushing him away. Hondo, in a daze, nodded absentmindedly and wandered out of the building. As he was heading out the door, Don scoffed.

Hugger was clenching his jaw, but he kept smiling. Don walked past him with a pat on the back.

“There. Problem solved.”

Hugger’s shadow stretched out into the corridor as the lights inside the pool room came back on. The heavy metal door clanked shut and he could hear muffled surf rock coming from inside. He could see Hondo, he hadn’t made it to his car yet. Hugger made a choice then and there, not stopping to look back or let anyone know what he was doing.

By the time he made it to the parking lot, Hondo had passed his car. He was halfway down the sidewalk. Was he going to walk all the way to his apartment? That would take him hours. Hugger bit his tongue— He was going to give Don hell for this later.

He caught up to Hondo, who was shuffling along like a zombie. He put a hand on his shoulder, and held out his hand.

“Hondo, I think yer pretty tuckered out. Let me drive ya home.”

Hondo gave him a blank stare, which unnerved Hugger. He’d never seen him anything other than focused. He stood for a moment before nodding and reaching into his bag and plopping the keys into Hugger’s hands.

He led Hondo back to his car, and helped him into the passenger before hopping in the driver’s seat. He was no good at driving a manual car, but he wasn’t going to let Don do this to Hondo.

After nearly dying at least twice on the road, Hugger finally figured out how all of the pedals and the gear shifter worked and got Hondo home in one piece. He unlocked the door for him, Hondo seemed conscious enough to lock it behind him.

The sun was setting, which was perfect for him. He silently thanked Hondo for having an apartment so close to the woods, and headed off into the trees so he could transform properly and make it home a lot faster.

On his way home he passed the Major Circuit building, and considered heading back to the party. He stopped in front of the building for a moment, using his hearing to listen in. He heard music, now playing a rather upbeat German song, and the sounds of bottles being broken. Cheers erupted after every shatter.

No sounds of fighting or arguing, but he figured he’d had enough of everything for now. So he didn’t look back as he headed into the night.

——————

Also ending note I just want to say to everyone that if you like super macho man and/or surf rock, PLEASE go listen to Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet. Their shit is soooo good y’all

This is my favourite song from them but yeah. When I said surf rock this is what I’m talking about. This song exactly actually.

#punch out!!#punch out #punch out wii #punch out monster hunter au #bear hugger #piston hondo #piston honda #don flamenco #super macho man #von kaiser #my writing #YAYYYY #wow I never thought I’d make it past the Joe and Don fic but here we are #Spotify

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fan-mans · 1 year

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I've seen quite a few people posit headcanon names for the Wii boxers so I thought I'd throw my hat in the ring for shits and giggles!

Explanations for the meaning and some history behind their names and stage names included too!

Glass Joe: Joseph Fournier-Proulx.

Joseph means "He will add" in Hebrew. Fournier, while literally meaning 'oven' in French, is equivalent to the surname 'baker' in English. Proulx comes from the Old French 'preau', meaning 'valiant' or 'brave'.

Joe has two surnames because of the fact that his father vanished shortly before he was born. Because of their father's absence, their mother put a lot of him and his sister's documents under her maiden name (Fournier) mostly to keep their father's family from getting involved with them.

Joseph had a middle name when he was younger, but when he changed his name during his transition, he dropped it. He never liked having a middle name at all and thought it make his name too cumbersome.

He mainly uses Fournier on non-significant documents, but prefers to sign Fournier-Proulx on everything else.

Von Kaiser: Wilhelm Raskopf

Wilhelm comes from William, which itself comes from Willehelm, literally meaning 'will helmet', but could be interpreted as 'desire to protect' or 'desiring protection'. Raskopf means 'quick headed' and derives from a nickname.

Wilhelm's younger brother is named Wilfried (Desiring peace), both names chosen by their deceased mother.

He goes by 'Helm' while his brother goes by 'Fried' or 'Freddy' to close friends.

He doesn't have a middle name, but always like the idea of making it Alida (Nobility), after his mother.

Disco Kid: D’Andre (Enrique?) Tawfeek

D'Andre is a black American name meaning The Andrew, Andrew itself meaning 'manly' or 'masculine'. Enrique is the Spanish variant of Henry, meaning 'home ruler'. Tawfeek is an alternate transcription of the name Tawfiq meaning 'good fortune' in Arabic.

D'Andre prefers people call him by his full first name, but allows close friends to call him 'Andy' or 'D-anne', in the case of his beloved uncle.

Because his uncle was kicked out of the family, his parents died when he was an infant, and his name was changed by a foster family when he was a child, neither he nor his uncle are sure if he has a middle name. However, he is very set on 'Enrique' being his middle name and nothing has shaken him on that.

Despite the name change, he refused to go by his new name as a kid. He remembered his first name and changed it back once he was adopted by his uncle.

King Hippo: Ariinui Teheiura

Ariinui is a Tahitian name that means 'noble and big'. Teheiura is a Tahitian name meaning 'the red crown'.

Ariinui's island, called hippo island in English, is very close to Tahiti and shares a very similar language. The two islands share a lot of name overlap as well!

He has no idea why people make jokes about his last name, but doesn't like it nontheless.

Prefers their name the be shortened as 'nui', if it's shortened at all.

Piston Hondo: Akahiko Kawaguchi

Akahiko is a very rare Japanese name meaning 'red boy' or 'red prince'. Kawaguchi means 'mouth of the river'.

Technically, he's the 4th Akahiko in his lineage, but doesn't put a number behind his name because the last Akahiko was 2 generations back.

At one point, during a punk phase, he considered renaming himself 'nuclear waste' in Japanese. His sister knocked some sense back into him but he uses that name for most of his private online profiles.

When he was younger, the rarity of his name was very embarrassing and he wished he was named Yoshirō (Righteous son), after his father. Nowadays, he feels much better about his name and thinks it's cool.

Bear Hugger: Orson Fisher

Orson is derived from the French 'bear'. Fisher comes from the German Fischer, meaning 'fisherman', and is a Jewish name as well.

Orson doesn't like comparisons to Orson Welles and finds it pretty annoying. He won't be mean about it but he will be very passive aggressive if you do it more than once.

His stage name is partially inspired by his first name. He was afraid it was dumb at first, but it grew on him a lot.

He has a Hebrew name as well- Dov ha-Rav

Great Tiger: Samir Raj-Singh

Samir is a Sanskrit name meaning 'wind' or 'air'. Raj is Sanskrit for 'king', while Singh is Sanskrit for 'lion' and is given to all male Sikh followers as a surname.

He's perfectly fine with being called 'Sam', but tends to find people assume his name is Samuel because of it. This annoys him, but not as much as people assuming he must be Hindu because his last name is Raj.

He uses two surnames because his grandfather couldn't decide on whether to change his surname in accordance with Sikh practices or to keep his surname. It has caused Samir a bit of paperwork trouble, but overall, he likes how double surnames feel.

Don started calling him Mimir (Spanish babytalk for sleep) as a joke, which eventually turned into a silly nickname used by the entire major circuit.

Don Flamenco: Donato Gallardo

Donato means 'given' in Latin. Gallardo means 'gallant' or 'elegant' in Spanish

Don almost never goes by Donato, feeling it's too formal for his relaxed lifestyle and personality.

The name 'Flamenco' came from a joke by a family friend, who called Don and his father 'senior Flamenco' because of their dancer-like elegance as matadors.

His middle name was going to be Ariel (Lion of God), but his parents decided against it when The Little Mermaid came out, leaving him the only one of their children without a middle name.

Aran Ryan: Aran {Redacted} Ryan

Aran- the Irish name- comes from the anglicized name of the Aran Islands, whose name is of unknown meaning, though it may come from the Old Irish word ará, meaning 'kidney'. Ryan is anglicized from Rian, meaning 'little king'.

The name he uses for himself is the same as his ring name, however, it is not his legal name! His legal name is a deadname which he vehemently protects from anyone who didn't know him before transition. He hasn't been able to legally change it for a variety of reasons but has however, decided to keep his middle name, even if he never dares put it on legal paperwork.

He will violently manifest in your house if you joke that his name is the Irish word for bread (arán). Aran is very emotionally attached to his name and such jokes press on a very tender nerve regarding his native language and his identity.

Initially, he was going to spell it as Árann, the Irish name for the Aran islands, but a combination of people constantly mispronouncing it and misspelling it made him change it. People still mispronounce Aran as Erin, though, and he's given up correcting them.

Soda Popinski: Ivan Valentin Polyanski

Ivan is a new form of an old Slavic variant of John, meaning 'god is gracious'. Valentin comes from Valentine, meaning 'strong', 'vigorous', and 'healthy'. Polyanski means 'from fields'.

Though a lot of people make fun of his middle name, he was never effected by it and finds it quite charming.

The name 'Popinski' came from a boxing announcer misreading Polyanski- Ivan found the mistake absolutely hilarious and chose to base himself on a soda theme because of it.

Ivan frequently has to correct people on the pronunciation of his name- it's pronounced almost exactly like even in Russian.

Bald Bull: Halim Uysal

Halim means 'patient', 'tolerant', and 'mild' in Arabic and Turkish. Uysal means 'docile', 'easygoing', and 'mild' in Turkish.

Halim is very protective of his name around press for the sake of his privacy, especially when in New York. He will even go so far as to sign things as 'Bald Bull' to not dox himself.

Him and his parents get a kick out of the irony of his name. As a child, he was far more calm and timid around press but adulthood stripped what patience he had away and replaced it with anger.

Uysal often auto corrects to Ulysses (Latin form of Odysseus, meaning 'to hate'), which led to it becoming a sort of code name by the world circuit to protect him. Mask-X is a similar code name which turned into a stage identity of it's own.

Super Macho Man: Tyler David Harris-Levine

Tyler comes from the word 'Tiler' as in someone who does tiling work. David is a Hebrew name meaning 'beloved' as well as 'uncle'. Harris means 'son of Harry', which itself means 'home ruler'. Levine is a Jewish name, from the name Levi, meaning 'joined'.

Though David is technically his middle name, Tyler prefers to use it as a second first name. When writing it out, you'll be lucky if he has any consistency with what firstname + surname combo he uses.

He accepts any shortening of Tyler, with some of his cousins even calling him just 'ler', but hates when David is shortened to 'Dave'. He'll only correct you once before he starts getting serious about it.

His Hebrew name wasn't given to him at birth because his mother wasn't sure if she would raise him with Judaism and his dad wanted him to have a choice about anything regarding religion. Either way, his Hebrew name is David he-Levi.

Mr. Sandman: Michael Alexander Ali

Michael is a Hebrew name meaning 'Who is like god?' as a rhetorical question. Alexander comes from Alexandros, meaning 'defending men'. Ali is an Arabic surname meaning 'lofty' or 'sublime'.

The name 'Sandman' comes from his family and friend's shortening his middle name to 'sandy'. He's used to all kinds of weird nicknames so if you call him it long enough, he'll respond to just about anything (Including Jackass, which the rest of the world circuit calls him affectionately)

Though Mike shares his name with his deceased great uncle, and his mother swears she named him after said beloved uncle, she and his father actually got inspiration from Mike Tyson.

His Hebrew name is Mikha'el ben Adi.

Little Mac: Mackenzie Louis

Mackenzie is anglicized from the Scottish name Mac Coinnich, which means 'son of Coinneach', which itself means 'handsome' or 'fair'. Louis is the Latinized form of Ludwig, meaning 'famous in battle'.

Though people constantly bug him about having a girl's name and have told him to change it to be more 'manly', Mac can't bear the thought of parting with the only thing he has left of his parents.

He is Mac ONLY. If you call him 'kenzie. You. will. die.

His original surname is a mystery, so he was named 'Doe' in his foster records for a while. After Doc adopted him, he took on his last name.

Doc Louis: Jerome Zachary Louis

Jerome is Greek, meaning 'sacred name'. Zachary comes from Greek, meaning 'Yahweh remembers". Louis is the Latinized form of Ludwig, meaning 'famous in battle'.

Some people pronounce his name as 'Jeremy' which he does not understand.

He considered giving Mac his middle name after adopting him, but decided against it.

He got the nickname 'Doc' because he worked as a medic for the wvba before entering the ring as a professional.

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