#lucille rambles

[system-of-a-feather]

On the topic of the role "elder" in our system

Since I'm out here doing a brief job as an "elder" in the system, I felt like talking and rambling about it some. But "elder" is a term we use now for the parts that generally are the responsible backbone, spine, and - for lack of better words - trusted advisory council for the system. Any large and complicated decision or any questionable consideration tends to pass through us to some degree before it is done and that's not a firm definition so much as a general concept.

We are generally considered the "elders" solely based off of general respect and history of "service" recognized by the system, but we aren't properly elected or anything similar, its more so just how we fall into it. The term originally came from a colloquial usage and a joke before finding its way as a basically commonly used term and I think it stems from the fact that our system has largely recovered enough that generally speaking, there rarely is a need for any active protectors 95% of the time as the system and hosts have the tools in their hands to typically handle most situations among each other.

As a result ex-primary protectors such as myself and Aderis - parts who have spent almost a decade each serving as the highly depended on and high pressure roles as parts that carried the system through large periods of life and kept us alive - no longer really needed to be doing much if anything most of the time. Between the both of us - at different times and in different ways - it came with a sense of depression and lack of purpose at first because our whole lives as parts have been consumed largely by the need to keep the system safe and protect us and all that - all to the point that loosing the need to have a dedicated part to that (a positive thing that comes with healing) left us largely feeling empty and lost. And feeling lost was such an unsettling new experience for both Aderis and I at first, but over time as we came to terms with our original function not being as needed, and got used to the new level of peace we found, we both sort of settled into being "retired".

Aderis' days of being a physical protector and dealing with the abuses we went through in the earliest days of our life are over and she's long earned her right to just kick back and do what makes her happy when she likes it. She's free to just exist.

Likewise, I've burnt myself through and through trying to keep us out of issues and securing us a stable future and resources to make sure that even if the worst happened that we would still not only be able to survive but theoretically flourish, and at this point? I really don't have to do that anymore and I have long earned my right to just sit back, enjoy my tea, listen to music, and watch the kids fumble around.

We haven't fused largely because we don't have a part that could "hold" us or a part that is ready for that, because we have important dynamics in the system synergy, and honestly because we are very "big" parts with a lot of personal experience, memories and identity to us and so finding a part that has the room to take all that in and process it is hard to come by. Even more importantly, while we aren't "needed" anymore, the two of us have two decades of being The Primary Protector between us, and even if we are not needed, we have a lot of insight built up from that and more than anything else, we serve as great advisors rather than actors now.

And as a result, we tend to support Ray who - while not retired, acts like it when he isn't actively needed - keeps everything in the system generally in line in a rather passive manner.

And in the end of it all, we are respected and trusted to always step up and return to doing a task that was once our job should we feel like it and the system respects that if we do that, then they should really oblige as we often don't get off of our retirement cushions unless we think the assistance is needed.

In this case it wasn't anything too particularly urgent or anything, but more so that I was already near the front and watching the children (Riku and XIV) running in circles trying to put on the NPD fire on eachother's backs and I figured it would be easier to set the rules for the two of them than do our now-usual thing of letting the two check one another.

It's a funny thing to watch personally, but I don't think its necessary and I am pretty sure that should we have left them alone they might have to fumble and figure it out the hard way that they have limited impulse control without us.

But anyhow. That's just a small ramble of sorts. I'll be on my way now.

#alter: lucille #elders #system elders #system dynamics #lucille rambles #actuallydid #dissociative identity disorder

[nottobehornyonthemain]

I’m just going to throw my hat into the ring about Steve’s parents because I’m bored. But like, Let’s spice up the level of shitty parenting.

Give me a Mrs. Harrington who’s actually a professional. Steve has said that she’s “super well respected” and, for as much as the fandom likes to play him as a dumbass, you don’t put people whoes only achievement is being a jealous housewife on your résumé, especially when you have another parent with a notable (ostensibly white collar) career.

Give me a Mrs. Harrington who’s a news anchor, or a lawyer. Give me a Mrs. Harrington who worked her ass off to be taken seriously by men for the entire late 50’s and early 60’s. Give me a young, ambitious woman with hazel eyes at a mixer for the company she’s working for in Chicago one night, who caught the eye of the charismatic man with ridiculous fluffy brown hair.

Give me a Mr. Harrington who grew up with a veteran father who never really seemed to care. Give me a little boy waiting, every day, for his dad’s letters, waiting for his father Otis to get back from this horrible war. And then he does, and he’s a hero, and suddenly it’s like nothing his son does is worth his notice. When he’s 15 and gets into his first fight? Otis doesn’t even comment on his bruised face before he walks out the door in the morning. When he gets into college? His mother is the one to hand him the watch his parents allegedly both got him as a graduation present. When he gets a job! A good job, where he has his own office and his name on a plate on his desk, not so much as a card.

Give me a Mr. Harrington who promised himself that, if he ever had a son, he would notice. He would pay attention to his kid’s grades, and what they were doing in school. That he would be proud of whatever college his son got into. That if his kid was ever doing something stupid, drinking, fighting, smoking, he would care. And he would say something.

Give me a Mr. Harrington meeting a beautiful woman in Chicago one night, and somehow, convincing her to come back to Hawkins with him. Give me the big news engagement and the blowout wedding fit for two people with nowhere to go but up.

Give me the Harrington couple buying their house, and planning to wait a few years before they start having children. Give me them having their first child, a son.

Give me a Mrs. Harrington being offered the promotion she’s been working towards for years almost immediately after, and taking it.

Give me a Mr. Harrington who never really thought his wife would keep working when they had children, but being smart enough not to say anything about it. Give me them realizing that, between both of their jobs, plans change, and their son will be their only child.

Give me a Mrs. Harrington who “doesn’t trust” her husband not because he might be cheating on her, but because, for as much as he can charm and schmooze with just about anyone, he has never had anyone tell him that he lacks actual understanding of his business. Give me a Mrs. Harrington seeing a stack of papers her husband brought home last night where the math doesn’t quite add up. Give me the blowout fight over his shady new business partner and the costs they could save if they just… cut a few corners. Give me her struggling to be taken seriously and explain to him that the consequences could be actual jail time and a complete destruction of their lives. Give me him hating that she thinks she knows better than him about his own business.

Give me a Mr. Harrington who keeps his promise to care about what his son is doing. Give me his unnecessary lectures, and comments and micromanagement whenever his son walks in the door.

Give me a Mrs. Harrington who couldn’t care less what her son is doing as long as he’s alive. Give me her bitchy comments that have been her best defense in the professional world for so long rubbing off on her son.

Give me a Steve who’s let it shape him. Who got his brown eyes, and desire to be at the top of the social sphere as soon as possible from his mom. Who got his begrudging tendencies to care while still finding something to complain about from his dad.

Give me a Harrington couple who isn’t absent, exactly. Who have the occasional business trip, but are actually in town when most of this stuff goes down. Give me a house that’s almost always empty, not because no one lives there, but because Mrs. Harrington is out late again tonight because the boss needs to be sure everything is in perfect order for Monday. Because Mr. Harrington absolutely has to close this deal. Because Steve has practice for both swimming and basketball today.

Give me a Steve who craves the domestic because of this. Who doesn’t have big plans or ambitions. Who, at his center, just wants to be able to flop on the couch and watch movies with the people he cares about. Who wants family vacations, and kids, and a big house filled with noise. Give me a Steve who understands that that’s where his love of parties came from.

Give me a Mr. Harrington who watches as his son seems to completely throw away everything he worked so hard to give him. Give me the fights over the beer, and the weed, and the grades. Give me the bombshell that his son didn’t even manage to get into college, and the realization that he needs to learn to be responsible.

Give me a Mr. Harrington who comes home one night to Robin and Dustin eating cereal in his kitchen at midnight. Who doesn’t really know what to say, so he sets down his briefcase and eats a bowl of cereal while asking these children who they are and why they’re in his house. Give me a Mr. Harrington patting his son on the back the next morning and telling he how much he likes the nice girl who can speak every language, and the little boy who can recite the periodic table from memory. Give me a Mr. Harrington who knows he made the right decision when he made his son get a job of his own instead of just working for him.

Give me a Mrs. Harrington who, when Steve informs her in the middle of a conversation that he has a boyfriend, doesn’t look up from the mirror where she’s applying her eyeliner.

Give me a Steve who’s had enough of her not caring and asks her, “really? You don’t have anything to say?”

Give me a Mrs. Harrington icily meeting his eyes in the mirror and saying, “Steven. You’ve been putting egg in your hair once a week since you were twelve and a girl in your class told you it makes it shiny, and you’ve been stealing my hairspray even longer.” Then goes back to lining her eyes.

#stranger things #steve harrington #robin buckley #steve and dustin #platonic stobin #steddie #implied at least #gay steve harrington #Harrington parents #in my head Mrs Harrington is a Lucile Bluth personality in an elle woods career #and Mr Harrington is just standard multi generational baggage man #honestly I’ve thought too much about backstory for everyone. ask me about Nancy’s one day #the sheep ramble analysis

[ironicallyelijah]

oh to be a nonverbal autistic silly little flea dehumanized by everyone i encounter and called a literal monster.

francoeur is a fucking brilliant character.

their setup for his true reveal is genuinely phenomenal.

the way she falls and he immediately catches her. the music stops like everything is resetting. because up until that moment everything visual and auditory in the film has been trying to depict him as a monster. his adorable chirps warped into terrifying alien growling and his gentle sweet appearance stripped down to just his eyes and towering silhouette. one of most textbook ways to dehumanize a person is to remove their face. we dont get to see his face until the big reveal, already serving to make us rethink him as a character.

and then she falls

and he immediately catches her

THE WAY YOU CAN REWATCH AND SEE HOW HES JUST TRYING TO PEACEFULLY INTERACT WITH PEOPLE. HE WAS DRAWN IN BY THE SOFT MUSIC OF THE OLD LADY'S PHONOGRAPH AND PERCHES ON HER BALCONY TO LISTEN, BUT SHE SCREECHES AND HE JUMPS AWAY, PETRIFIED.

HE TRIED TO PUT HIS HAND ON THE MANS SHOULDER TO CALM HIM DOWN, BUT HE PULLS BACK UNTIL ALL FRANCOEUR HAS IS HIS COAT, AND HES JUST SO CONFUSED. HE JUST STARES AT THE COAT, CURIOUS BUT ABSOLUTELY DUMBFOUNDED.

HE DESERVES THE WORLD HONESTLY.

#i have so many thoughts about this movie #ill probably make another rambling post about other aspects i adore #im actually also tempted to write fanfiction #THEIR FOUND FAMILY DYNAMIC MEANS THE WORLD TO ME #a monster in paris #un monstre à paris #amip #ami paris #umap #francoeur #francoeur a monster in paris #francoeur amip #lucille #lucille a monster in paris #lucille amip #shh eli

[fructidor]

two years after the peak of my frev obssssion, i have finally made the pilgrimage to musée carnavalet!! the room with all of the revolutionaries portraits literally changed my life and brought me so many flashbacks

#lisa rambles #frev #french revolution #robespierre #danton #camille desmoulins #desmoulins #lucile desmoulins #marat #musee carnavalet

[negans-lucille-tblr]

Update on my Website/Tumblr/Discord etc.

I recently made an announcement on my website at the beginning of the month regarding the future of my writing and I just wanted to share it here too.

Engagement has been really low for a while (maybe a couple of years or more), and while I've done everything I can to try and not let it bother me, or increase it with feedback forms etc, and I've tried to be honest with you all about how it makes me feel, when there's no change there comes a point when you're just too tired to fight anymore. I force myself to write content for you guys, and I have lost my passion for posting my writing which I never wanted.

The only reason my website/Tumblr are still active is because

A) I have prewritten content that's currently posting

and

B) I'm currently out of work and rely on the money my website provides me.

So all that being said, I just wanted to be completely honest with you and let you know that I've made the decision to shut down my website/Tumblr/Discord as soon as I've found work. This could be next month or several months down the line, it's unclear yet.

But I'll be sure to keep you updated and I promise I won't leave any stories incomplete when the time does come for me to shut it all down.

Bee x

#update #bee rambles #negans-lucille-tblr #lack of feedback and interaction is killing creators #if you don't want others to leave like me I suggest reblogging and commenting #there won't be any content left for you if things don't change #we've tried being nice but there comes a point where enough is enough #I wanna be clear that this is solely related to me posting my writing publicly #I'm leaving now while I still want to write at all

[witchthewriter]

Watching Call the Midwife on your periods is a whole new experience... I am crying so much my cat's come to sit on me. And she hasn't done that in months omg.

I want to write about each character, I love all of them :') 🦋

(if anything happens to Sister Monica Joan I will riot; a piece of me will wither away.)

#witchthewriter #call the midwife #period ramblings #trixie franklin #sister bernadette #jenny lee #Dr Turner #Sister Francis #Sister Julienne #Cynthia Miller #Sister Monica Joan #lucille anderson #fred #fred call the midwife #sister winifred #Sister Hilda #Patsy Mount #Chummy #Cyril Robinson #Matthew Aylward #Mother Mildred #Nurse Corrigan #Sister Veronica

[emoacademic]

Small communities used to thrive on tumblr. I’m not sure what changed but a lot of communities seem either dead or now just a bland aesthetic

The dark academia tag used to have study tips, music, writing, and aspirations! The witchcraft tags used to be largely the same. :< (ID/ emoticon of a frown /end ID)

I really hope a better social media site will emerge before tumblr dies

Edit: people can do whatever that want but whY IS EVERY OTHER WITCHCRAFT BLOG NOTHING BUT PORN AND WEED JOKES

#dark academia #witchcraft #witchblr #the furby community has held up better than anything #furby #lucille’s journal #negativity #spilled ink #ramble

[eminsunnytoons123]

Heres some sneak Peaks for the trio of the parodies show gang =^_^=

Kermit's parodie counterpart is Lucille the ladybug

Miss piggy's parodie counterpart is ms. Moosa

Fozzie's parodie counterpart is Garrett Rhino

And I may change genders of some counterparts like how I changed of some moopets =^_^=

And i'll make the parodies after i make the whatnot Show gang and the teppums Show gang =^///^= i only have a few more to go =^.^=

#the muppets #the parodies show #Lucille the ladybug #ms moosa #garrett rhino #emi rambles #the parodies cousin show

[rainedroptalks]

MOM???? MOTHER?? SHES HIS MOM!?? WHAT?? THEYRE RELATED???

#ramblings #liveblogging #raine listens to ch&t #camp here and there #HUH?? #IM SORRY?? #IT WAS BAD ENOUGH WHEN I THOUGHT HE WAS HJUST AN EMPLOYEE #BUT ​YOUVE BEEN TREATING YOUR *SON* LIKE THIS #LUCILLE?? LUCILLE????

[shyshitter]

succession is like what arrested development would’ve been if the kids had daddy issues instead of mommy issues

#like yea they have daddy issues too but the primary parent interactions are w Lucille #most of the criticism is against Lucille #George sr is like Caroline where he’s distant and affectionate in a manipulative way #anyways love both shows so much they’re so unhinged #ava rambles #succession #arrested development

[xxlovelyfanaticxx]

This is just me bitching but I do not trust the people who believe that if you like Valentino you are a bad person but then love Alastor

Like, you can’t separate reality from fiction but you love the cannibalistic serial killer??

“There is more to Alastors character than Vals!” We have seen him to nothing but manipulate and lie to the main cast. Not to mention his abuse to husk! I assume Valentino acted similarly when he was first manipulating Angle

I literally saw someone say that it was okay to like alastor because those hurt by murders aren’t alive to see it, so it can’t hurt their feelings. :| (ID/ emotion of a disgruntled face /end ID)

#yall fell for alastors manipulation HARD #hazbin hotel #valentino #Alastor #ramble #negativity #lucille’s journal #discourse

[lesbianbatlucille]

thinking about negans first deadly interaction with a walker..

he was outside their home trying to get the generator up and running after the power went out, and a walker grabs him from behind while lucille was keeping watch. while it's trying to bite his arms and neck lucille rushes up behind it and whacks it in the head with a frying pan and she's so spooked she keeps hitting it when it's down. negan has to drag her away and comfort her, trying to wipe the blood off of her face while she's hyperventilating.

when they get back inside she's convinced that she just killed a person and negan thinks that she did aswell... but he doesn't say it and instead he tries to make her feel better by saying that they were sick and violent and she did the right thing.

Thinking about a conversation a few days after this where she’s like "I fucked up. You either hate me or you should." And he’s so dead serious about "No I could never, you Did The Right Thing"

and now thinking about an au where she lived but they got separated, and they're together again for the first time in months/years and she starts seeing through the cracks how deranged he is and remembers that conversation...And feels sick about it..

#SHE THINKS SHE STARTED SOMETHING IN HIM #SOMEONE WHO WIELDS A WEAPON NAMED AFTER YOU #WHO KILLS IN YOUR NAME #tfw you've been turned into a martyr to incite violence and fear :( #anyway uhhh sorry if this doesn't make sense i never try to share my headcanons or thoughts anywhere that isn't in a discord conversation #lucille smith #negan #twd #the walking dead #lucille twd #weird rambling

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

a non-exhaustive list of things i forgot were in crimson peak:

bobby singer is here???

the lad from sons of anarchy is here

the lad from sons of anarchy is also an ophthalmologist and god did that make me feel like a sleeper agent being woken up (iih nation rise up)

owen from torchwood is also also here??? i swear hes in every movie i dont expect him to be in

just how many homoerotic vibes tom hiddleston shares with both bobby singer and the lad from sons of anarchy

how intense the homoerotic vibes between lucille and edith are; i didnt forget them but wow its gayer than i remember

its like so much gorier than i remembered and also the gore is 10/10 very good

how goddamn amazing fernando velázquez's score is, it really ties the whole movie together

i swear i always forget just how good doug jones and javier botet are despite having watched them in so many movies but god these dudes are so good at their jobs

i remember thinking thomas sharpe was the most charming man and im not gonna judge 15-year-old me, i was in my loki era still

there was a dog????? such a good boy????? dog??????

all the symbolism in the costuming (thank you kaz rowe for highlighting that)

the sharpes having like proto-wetherspoons crockery

how slutty tom hiddleston looks with his waistcoat open

their house looks like a sims house (affectionate)

sometimes a family can be the victorian-edwardian version of the folgers christmas advert, a naïve american girl who can see ghosts, a random dog she found, her doctor friend, and the ghosts of her husbands 3 past wives, the murdered mother of the folgers and their dead baby. dont judge them.

#crimson peak #crimson peak spoilers #kai rambles #bobby singer #supernatural #charlie hunham #tom hiddleston #jim beaver #javier bodet #doug jones #guillermo del toro #fernando velázquez #jessica chastain #mia wasikowska #thomas sharpe #lucille sharpe #edith cushing #carter cushing #alan mcmichael #burn gorman #folgers #folgers coffee #folgers christmas ad #wetherspoons #kaz rowe #opthalmology #iih #idiopathic intracranial hypertension #listen i have to go see an ophthalmologist like every 2-3 months to make sure the pressure in my brain isnt about to blind me or kill me #the word opthamologist has just become a sleeper agent code word for me

[imakemywings]

Celebrating Christmas by introducing my sister to Crimson Peak

#rambling #it was a win #lucille i can fix you #kudos to sis for not disagreeing with me when i say the final knife fight between edith and lucille is hot

[pjunicornart]

how’d the different family members deal with Bud’s death?

I'll go through the most notable ones.

Lucille obviously took his death pretty hard, especially considering how sudden it was. For about a year, she barely did anything productive. It wasn't until she discovered sewing, upcycling, and crafts in general and shared the experience with her granddaughter (Freddie) that she finally took her son's advice to go to grief counseling.

Upon seeing Bud's death, Joe realized he needed to become healthier. Heart issues run on the men's side of his family, and him being obese was straining his heart. In his opinion, Bud died way too young, and he wasn't about to die young, too. He started on his weight loss journey two months after his brother's death. Nowadays, he ain't no muscle man, but he is a lot healthier and happier.

Laszlo went into a deep depression. There were other factors going on at the time, but his uncle's death fueled the fire. His mental health took a beating after losing someone he was really close to. (While he was actively in an abusive situation, their house was a safe haven for him.) Therapy was his saving grace. After many sessions and steps taken to heal and grieve, Laszlo painted a final portrait of his uncle. That portrait hangs in the family den.

#rosey rambles #asks #ask box #meet the robinsons #meet the robinsons au #lazy days #lazy lucille #lazy laszlo #lazy joe

[paradife-loft]

@veliseraptor stealing your tags to go on a ramble bc this is a little off on a tangent from the op

#lucille sharpe should've been more obviously textually gay. send tweet #the older i get the more i think about lesbian or bi lucille and the happier i am about it #desire sublimated through her brother?? thinking thoughts

bc like. headcanoning/interpreting now. this internal sense of "any attachment, any attraction I have to someone authentically is Bad and Condemned; any socially-sanctioned attraction or relationship model feels lacking at best, coercive at worst". everything she wants in any format just gets tossed in the same bucket of "I'm sick and wrong and Not Allowed To Do That"; they’re all functionally, emotionally equivalent on some level. they can only be expressed in the context of other morally-reprehensible actions. violence and care as two sides of the same coin.

do her feelings for the women her brother marries come before or after the selection, the marriage, the poisoning? yes. in their tying themselves to Thomas, they become owned by Lucille as well, a part of her the same way he is by transitive property. the idea of being in A Relationship herself (properly, with a man of course, that’s what that means) is just another box of someone else controlling and hurting her; while having that connection with another woman is. epistemically closed off, sealed away in the same decrepit rooms as everything else - and so those feelings and actions all become entangled together, because they can’t exist in a dialogue with anything else but one another.

I end up thinking about the “monstrous love” line, right? and two different kinds of intimacy where neither is really quite getting at what she wants, but both are transgressive. attraction and affection and enmeshment and murder and the house all in one big emotional soup of hiding and secret-keeping and putting on one appearance out in the world to cover for something that feels vital to who she (& Thomas) are as people that would otherwise ruin her.

#rambling #Lucille Sharpe #Crimson Peak #headcanoning #incest cw #I need to rewatch this movie again #she is just. so endlessly twisty and fascinating and compelling. #I'm pouring her fucked up pov back and forth between my hands like a slinky #also mmmmm something about. having control over others. as a context & expression of loving them. #a blorbo of all time <3