#look idk if these are word for word but i cba to check

[violentdevotion]

i dont blame u the politics of the show is fucking weird and like. just in general while it’s technically better than the 2009 movie. writing wise it’s also just…. rlly rlly shitty. so like please hate the show. also i dont mind u posting other stuff u seem cool overall 👍

im halfway through the movie and found it entertaining so far (tbf around halfway is when movies start to fall apart) the opening credits with bob dylan and those little flashbacks were really fun to watch (i giggled at the flower power one) but yeah overall i think no adaptation could make a better political message than the original, even if the original was apparently ambigious enough for people to find rr aspirational

#ameeras.got.mail #martin tag #thank you !!! you too :)))) #also i call him rr bc i cant spell rorschach #< idk if i spelt that right cba check #its one of those words (names ig sorry hermann) that always looks spelt wrong tonme

[powderblueblood]

got thinking about my monkeys paw edlacy au where they become successful professionals in new york (eddie, the founder of necromancer records; lacy, a fran lebowitz-type social commentator and sometimes new yorker columnist) but call off their engagement and end up acting like bitter divorcees (hate fucking and jealousy lmao)

and ended up banging this out idk

pairing: eddie munson x f!oc, written in second person immersive (you/yours)

wc: actually cba to check. it’s short

warnings: p in v, unprotected, office sex, hate fucking sort of, spit kink (m receiving)

eddie has your legs butterflied on a desk you’d wasted no time in insulting the second you walked through the door.

‘where’d you find this? a beer hall? this looks like it has about as much structural integrity as that piece of shit driftwood throne you used to sit on in high school—‘

but he’d swallowed your words with a hurried, ‘pipe down and open up, doevski,’ insisting on his tongue down your throat. a rendezvous like this (that shouldn’t be happening—you’d given the ring back, why are they still happening) require an awareness of his peripherals, so out of the corner of his eye, he can see where you’d neatly hung your skirt over the arm of his office sofa. it’s custom YSL, gifted from the last mucky magazine to-do you’d done, and it was too good to let him tear it off you. your panties were a different story, the shredded remnants of them now rucked up around your waist.

“why don’t you ever come by anymore?” eddie asks between breathless thrusts, mesmerised by your tits bouncing out of your unbuttoned blouse. god, he loves you like this. smart-rail me-casual. he should have asked you to bring a ruler to spank him with, but you would’ve liked that too much and he can’t acquiesce to you completely.

what with you being exes.

“i don’t come,” you gasp, entertaining his bullshit line of thinking, “by anymore because this is hostile territory. one of your little record company groupies called me a prep cunt the last time i was here. and she spat on me.”

a guttural sound gets coaxed out of eddie, and the flash of offense across your face is just too good. the thought of you getting verbally assaulted by some necromancer records acolyte isn’t a jolt to the balls (his fans are rabid and learned and hate you, vocally)—thinking of how angry that must’ve made you is. your cunt reflexively tightens around him and his jaw tightens back.

“if the stupid red bottom shoe fits—“

“—yes, but i could live without the spitting, eddie—“

“fuck, don’t say my name. yet.”

it’d be punishment if he didn’t live to have you choking him out like this.

“hol—hold on, this you sayin’ you’re not into spitting anymore?” he grits out, throbbing like a fucking injury inside of you. eddie’s hoping he leaves handprints where those flimsy webbed panties used to sit on your hips.

a blowback of a laugh leaves your mouth, and eddie wants to shove it back in with his tongue, but you grab the back of his head. “that you saying please?”

you tug; he tilts. he whines before he can stop it. god, he hates you—god, he needs this before he’s got to spend the rest of the day listening to shitty demo tapes.

“please,” he breathes.

you grin like the viper you are—so he promises himself to fuck you so hard that you’ll feel it from the time you struggle to walk out of his office to the time you sit on letterman’s guest chair later. social commentator. cultural critic. know-it-all bitch. love of his life.

“please, lace.” his poor, ragged mouth—the way you grab at his chin almost looks sympathetic, how raptured you are by his desperation. you can’t deny it, he knows that. he appeals to your fragile ego, you box his boisterous one down…

and say things like, “open wide, eddie.”

#eddie munson x oc #eddie munson x reader #e. munson by powder #l. doevski by powder #edlacy #I don’t have a tag for this au but it might be my absolute sick freak fantasy where lacy becomes a rhony #anyway #just dickin around on here

[nadjaandlaszlo]

ofmd lines I quote on the daily:

~~Edward Teach, born on a beach~~

my fucking resignation, you absolute TW A T.

you can stab me in the face now

THERE’S A SOCK ON THE DOOR.

I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!

check out this fabulous booty I’m hawkin’!

still here. morning.

thisisfartoofastthisisfartoofastthisisfartoofastthisisfartoofast—

FUCKING. NATURE. FUCK YOUUUUUU.

I would love to be stabbed by Jim

oooooh daddy… daddy…

don’t kill one another, you guys!

oh my god, this is happening.

a dollop of milk and seven sugars :)

man for sale! someone buy my booty!

Cats are terrifying, everyone knows that… because they’re witches and they’ve got knives in their feet.

hanging on. by a thread. hanging on. then it goes - shouldn’t let go, if I let go, all will fall. fingers bleeding. down to the bone now. can’t let go. nothing makes sense. hold on. hold on. hold. on.

I’m not a F U C K I N G mermaid

now that’s a fuckery :)

Coming, Nana! I’m coming for some cake!

m’NOses!

ohhh, the light-skins >:(

some of us are trying to BASK in MOON-GLOW.

sorry… pissed on your boots.

I’m in the blanket fort. the door’s the blue cushion.

DO THE WOODEN BOY VOICE

you’re very cool. and you wear leather. so you might not understand this.

I’m no prostitute, mate!

I’m gonna go mug a guy for a dinghy :D

look at that… you wear fine things well.

have you ever been sketched? ;)

you mean curl up into a ball and die..?

oh hello, I’m a little wooden boy and me- me legs are sticks

Izzy. They’ve Got A Bird Guy.

just put some fucking imagination into it, man.

you don’t belong in doggy heaven :’(

#look idk if these are word for word but i cba to check #anyway enjoy #if i think of more I’ll add more #ofmd #our flag means death #stede bonnet #ed teach #ofmd blackbeard #buttons ofmd #lucius spriggs #izzy hands #oluwande boodhari #wee john feeney #frenchie ofmd #jim jimenez #calico jack ofmd #spanish jackie

[20thjanuarys]

so skam austin is really a thing????????

#i ltrrally lowkey thougt jt was never gunna happen #and this early??? not even a year since skam ended???? yikes #imma probably still watch it tho :// #at least for a bit #compared to the other skams at least its like.... original content #idk why they r keeping the name skam? given its like... not a word in english #but oh well lets see!!! #i liked the look of josephina... she seems the coolest #or was it josefina? idk and i cba to check

[lgbtpolitics]

So I have Shinigami Eyes installed and the url "radicallyaligned", OP of a recent post you reblogged from is highlighted as red. Checked their blog and they're a radfem/terf.

So for the record I don't think radfems are automatically transphobic. Ill take your word for it that they're transphobic bc I havent seen anything on their blog that says either way, and I cba continuing to scroll.

But I've just looked up shinigami eyes and honestly I'm concerned. This sounds like effectively two blacklists and could easily backfire. A lot of people on a reddit thread I just read were saying that it effectively has only identified trans women to them, a few others were talking about being marked green in areas where this could bring them harm.

Despite the guidelines it also just seems really subjective and there is no inclusion of context. The guidelines arent very concrete either. "We must all stand against homophobia and trans phobia and support gay lesbian and trans people" was considered not enough to be trans friendly but "Shout out to nb people who feel hopeless in this political climate" was considered trans friendly enough. What is even the difference between those two sentences? Is it just being specific about nb people rather than more general?

Idk it seems sketchy to me.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: [okay so we said that JJ have gone to get the PE shit and are casually having a 🚬 and the teacher is like go see what the hold up is and Ella volunteers cos 1000% that bitch and she of course starts a vague rumour about them being saucy with it] Janis: are the boys saying shit Jimmy: what kind of question's that? Janis: fuck's sake Janis: right, how do you wanna deal from your end Janis: 'cos you can say shit or you can slag me off like you'd never, either way, your move, new boy Jimmy: how do you want me to? Jimmy: I could give a shit what gets said about me Janis: alright, just say nothing then Janis: I'll deck her Jimmy: 👍 Janis: hardly Jimmy: nowt close to a challenge my end Jimmy: and it ain't like you'll have one flooring her Janis: still can't get her to take it back Janis: have to force feed her or some shit for that Jimmy: and what? you've got a missus waiting at home that'll be 💔 you were at it with someone else in the sport's cupboard? Janis: Fuck off Janis: if I've got to explain sexism to you then cba Janis: no one's chatting shit on your name like they are mine Jimmy: I bet lasses are, 'cause I shouldn't have touched you with a barge pole or some bollocks Jimmy: hang on, I'll check Jimmy: [DMs] Janis: and what? Janis: I didn't start it, take it up with Blondie Jimmy: I don't care what any dickhead in this shithole reckons, it's your problem if you do Jimmy: that's what Janis: Don't need your groundbreaking hot take to know that, tah Jimmy: stop whinging at me then, tah Janis: I ain't, do one Janis: I was checking you weren't making it worse for me, that's it Jimmy: job done Jimmy: and there'll be a new #scandal tomorrow so no need to check in with me again Janis: you reckon, new boy? Janis: you'll be lucky if another kid joins before you leave yourself Jimmy: I'll be leaving myself soon as Jimmy: you'll be lucky if it ain't you and 👑💀 stuck doing the project Janis: mistaking me for the bitch that cares about her A Jimmy: nah, I weren't Jimmy: the 😎 ain't prescription Janis: i'd get her to spread that it is Janis: don't wanna shout about how that look is a choice Jimmy: you ain't that bad that I feel the need, looks wise at least Janis: great Jimmy: any road, my brother's deaf, if I start spreading that shit about they'll be asking my sister if she's got a fake leg or some bollocks Jimmy: be a bit rude to her Janis: I'm not gonna chat shit on your unfortunate genetics, don't worry Janis: can't rival mine anyway Jimmy: @iantaylor8 if you wanna have a go Janis: unless he has his own law firm, I'm not bothered Jimmy: 💔 for him Janis: obviously, we had a great time amongst the unwashed bibs and muddy footballs Jimmy: surprised she could get the door open Jimmy: 💀💪 Janis: got that burst of adrenaline knowing she'd get extra treats from her master for it Janis: could've been in there alone, obviously helps other people give more of a fuck that it was you Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: so yeah, it is your fault, cheers Jimmy: didn't send myself or force you to have that 🚬 off me, mate Janis: not my go-to defense story Janis: crying rape might seem kinda cute but I'm alright Jimmy: funny Jimmy: you ain't that cute I NEED to fuck you mid P.E Janis: oh no Janis: let me go cry into the nearest 🏀 Jimmy: the mats would be a better shout, they've managed all that 💦 Janis: oh yeah, bring up the mats Janis: not heard enough about what a romantic setting they are Jimmy: soz, next time I'll assault you in the 🚽 Janis: even better Janis: I'll just stay in there and set up shop Jimmy: 💕 Janis: should've picked an option with a racket Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: work too, fair heft behind that Jimmy: bit of class an' all Jimmy: rich girl won't have nowt to whinge about Janis: 'cos I've proved well classy Jimmy: will do with a full orchestra behind your rampage Janis: I'll find a music nerd in these DMs Jimmy: 🥇💡 Janis: beats Mia suing me 'cos I killed her girlfriend Jimmy: another'd spawn from Mia's rib or some bollocks Jimmy: she'd be alright Jimmy: if she don't regurgitate one like a 🐍 jaw unhinged Janis: 🐑 don't baa on the way out, new boy Janis: ask my sister Jimmy: You're alright, I'd rather not talk to her Janis: wow Janis: same Jimmy: 😱😱😱 OMG Jimmy: no wonder every dickhead thinks we're love's young dream Janis: yeah, she's SUCH a delight, everyone else 💘s her Jimmy: obvs Janis: you're new, so I'll let you off for not being up enough on the gossip this once Jimmy: tah Jimmy: so generous, you Janis: apparently so Jimmy: go on, what do you want me to do Janis: ? Jimmy: you're that 💔 Janis: you can't do fuck all Janis: even if I were Jimmy: Why can't I? Janis: what's to do Janis: they chat shit 'cos they got none of their own Janis: none as interesting as what they wanna gob off about anyway Jimmy: I dunno, that's why I asked Jimmy: but alright Janis: just forget about it 'til they do, like you said Jimmy: nowt to bother remembering Janis: not a diss, just factual so Janis: yeah Jimmy: bet Ella counts her 🚬 Janis: easier habit to hide when you have to brush your teeth at least ten times a day Jimmy: got something else to blame when they go yellow and fall out an' all Janis: set of falsies is the way to go Janis: off and on again whenever you need to purge Janis: I'll float it Jimmy: shame she don't do lads Jimmy: that's a kink right there Janis: she definitely does Janis: that's why this is bullshit Janis: does whatever 💀👑 needs her to Jimmy: I'll live without hearing about them threesomes Janis: grim Jimmy: they still ain't welcome up north Janis: 💔 how will they cope Jimmy: idk idc obvs babes Janis: 🤮🤮🤮 Jimmy: go ahead and spread that about as your official ™ reaction to my 😘 Janis: no one cares if you were good, new boy Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: that'll be why my inbox is full Janis: your inbox is full because a. people think you're good as is b. they wanna know if I am Jimmy: if they reckon I'm good they care enough to have thought about it Janis: alright, they're well concerned Janis: if you need 'em to be Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you ain't concerned about what I do or don't need Janis: nah, I'm not Janis: just a weird hill to live and die on Jimmy: would be if it were the one I were on Janis: 👍 Janis: just saying, no one is concerning themselves if I had a good time or not Jimmy: I heard you Janis: alright Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: later Janis: [actually later, like a lesson or so whatever] Janis: do you know George Daley? Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'cos I wanna know if he's telling the truth or not Jimmy: about what? Janis: apparently you told him loads of extra details he was loudly telling his mates Jimmy: leave it out Jimmy: new boy, remember Janis: he's not also saying you're best friends Jimmy: I'm saying I've said nowt Jimmy: piss off Janis: okay Janis: you're marginally more plausible than him so take your word Jimmy: I'll take my 🏆 soon as you've engraved it Janis: don't get ahead of yourself Janis: either your imagination is lacking or it's his Janis: and I know you're WELL artistic so Jimmy: alright, stop flirting with me Janis: how many more girls need to tell you that's disgusting Jimmy: how many lasses are in this school? Janis: ha Janis: know they don't do royalty in the north, even they ain't that thick Janis: come up with a new bit probably Jimmy: 👌 Janis: send you his socials if you wanna smack him down Jimmy: go on then Janis: [does] Janis: he's the least attractive one in the groupshot, go figure Jimmy: the 🦐 looking twat? Jimmy: alright Janis: 😂 Janis: good shout Janis: fits with your fish kink Jimmy: What lesson you in? Janis: Physics Jimmy: that's [a classroom/ lab number situ, don't get lost boy] ? Janis: next one along Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [shows up and decks this boy so that all kicks off] Janis: [dramaaaaaaa] Jimmy: [enjoy the show bitches] Janis: [what are you gonna make of that, ladies, when it looks like you're defending her honour instead of your own] Jimmy: [when you lowkey are though, we see you boy] Janis: [we all do, not her though so it's fine] Jimmy: [literally been here no time Jimothy, casual crush at first sight okay then] Janis: [we know you're both hot no hiding from that] Janis: how much trouble you get in? Jimmy: You've been here longer than me, have a guess Janis: 🤔🤔 Janis: depends how much of a good mood the head was in 🥴 Jimmy: ☕ were half full Jimmy: might be 🥃🥃 or 🥃🥃🥃 depending on his measures Janis: either way, bet you have to write him an apology Janis: always make you do that Jimmy: [shows her his 🦐 doodles all over said apology] Jimmy: ✔ Janis: 😏 sincere Jimmy: Am I supposed to invite him out for a 🦐🍛 or what? Janis: no Janis: he'll 😢 and with his eye how it is now, might explode from the pressure Jimmy: can either handle a #ladsnightout or you can't Janis: poor shrimpy Janis: he looks better for the swelling, honestly Jimmy: might write me a thank you note Jimmy: been after a pen pal Jimmy: 💕 Janis: figures Jimmy: ? Janis: artistic Janis: prefer 🖋 over 🗣 Jimmy: nah, just northern Jimmy: can barely write and I need the practice Janis: tell the head that, she can tell her bosses, and they'll get you out of detention Jimmy: 👍 Janis: success story ⭐ Jimmy: my dad will be dead proud Janis: buzzing Jimmy: what am I missing then? Janis: a sense of purpose? Janis: your keys? Janis: what? Jimmy: what 🗨 dickhead Janis: oh, what shrimpdick said? Janis: just more bollocks than I'd heard already Janis: if it were bad before, it's 💘 now Jimmy: you could've said 💀👑 were in there Janis: how was I supposed to know you'd show up Jimmy: what did you think I were gonna do? Janis: well, see him after school sounds a bit gay but Janis: not barge in to a lesson, obviously Jimmy: yeah I asked you for directions I weren't gonna use Janis: I thought you were bullshitting Jimmy: you're alright, there's nobody about to see me 😭 Janis: probably work in our favour once everyone else calms down Janis: reckons we're both gay so Janis: let her do the work with the 🗨 Jimmy: what were it you said? buzzing Jimmy: that'll be me Janis: 👍 Janis: you didn't get in proper shit, did you Jimmy: What's proper shit? Janis: like excluded level Janis: anything below that, not saying sorry for your 😭 Jimmy: weren't after a sorry off you any road Janis: 💔 Jimmy: and I never hit him that hard Janis: I know Janis: but he's being a right tart about it Janis: make more sense if he was good looking to start with Jimmy: 🦐💔 Jimmy: you a vegetarian or what? Janis: hilarious 🙄 Jimmy: 🤡 me Jimmy: it were you who said it Janis: 'cos my taste borders outside aquatic, I'm gay now, alright Jimmy: nowt to do with me Jimmy: literally Janis: you asked Jimmy: nah Janis: you just curious about my dietary needs Jimmy: if that's a crime, give Mia's dad a bell Janis: 🤞💘 Janis: they're well pissed off rn, nothing else Jimmy: sod catholic school, don't even need it Jimmy: about to get into heaven off the back of that Janis: told 'em it weren't me that was getting #saved Jimmy: you wanna piss 'em off a bit more? Janis: obviously? Jimmy: Alright, what would? Jimmy: I'm here, you're there and we're 💕 Janis: you said no one's about? Jimmy: I did do Janis: a teachers showed? Jimmy: nah but that means they could in a bit Janis: fuck it Janis: hang on then Jimmy: 🤞💘 Janis: [ask for a pissbreak, go to whatever room this is and take a #goals selfie for the first time] Jimmy: [love that because it makes the fake dating less out of the blue as a request so well done lads] Janis: [you're welcome] Janis: get more ❤s than her she'll 💥 Jimmy: I'd say challenge accepted but it ain't one Janis: 🥺 when your boyfriend isn't as fit as you thought Jimmy: if you're doing that face since you've been back, you'll really sell the starcrossed lovers angle Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: 😒 translate just as well Jimmy: I get it, there's no oscar in your future Janis: fuck off Janis: it ain't hard Jimmy: couldn't hack the proposition of being in my ad, you Janis: that's different Janis: besides, tell me it won't be funnier to make her do it Jimmy: might be for the first 10 takes Janis: she gets to roleplay with daddy to rehearse she'll be 🏆 Jimmy: SUCH a romantic, you Janis: just want her to be happy, like Jimmy: fuck her, I'm giving you the 🏆 Janis: #blessed Jimmy: that's me, obvs Janis: no, you're #saved Janis: don't hog them all Jimmy: one #'s worth fuck all Jimmy: every dickhead knows you need to flood it Jimmy: bit biblical an' all, that Janis: you get sent her to get turned? Janis: hardcore conversion therapy Janis: here* Jimmy: not gay, just fit and mysterious Janis: 👌 Jimmy: gone right off 🐙🦑🦐🦞🦀🐡🐠🐟 but I don't reckon we can call that hardcore Jimmy: or much of a turn Janis: aren't supposed to eat shellfish actually, so God should be made up Jimmy: success story ⭐ Jimmy: like you said Janis: can go back to where you came from now Janis: in the nicest, non-racist way possible Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 🙏* Jimmy: tah my dear Janis: not 👠👠 but you get what you pay for Jimmy: ain't my fault the tip jar's got nowt in Jimmy: @💀👑 Janis: I remember Jimmy: she ain't changed her ways or owt recently, funny that Janis: she needs the #bornagain Janis: thank fuck she ain't got a dog Jimmy: Oi, what's El if not a service 🐕? Janis: she walks herself enough though Jimmy: she does do laps round the table before she gets her ☕ Janis: not surprised Janis: beyond surprised she can still manage it without the heart attack, obvs Jimmy: 🙏* Janis: deal with the 😈 Janis: gotcha Jimmy: if you can say fuck it today, why not, like? Janis: decent tagline Janis: I'll put it on the site Jimmy: good shout Jimmy: I were gonna say if you need 📸 for it, give me a shout an' all Janis: like IOU one 💘 selfie? Jimmy: sir ain't getting my nudes that easy Janis: gutted Jimmy: 🎻💔😭 Jimmy: call it another deal with the 😈 if you want, mate, but I were being serious Jimmy: bagsied the 🎨 ages ago Janis: alright Jimmy: alright Janis: was thinking, how do we piss her off more with this project Janis: without it being dead obvious that that's what we're doing Jimmy: Depends Janis: on? Jimmy: do you mean us or the #content? Janis: both Jimmy: what thoughts did you have? Janis: well, obviously we can't put in anything that she can run to sir with Janis: but, like the ad, you can edit it to be like one of those no win no fee things like you said Janis: shit like that Jimmy: Do you know what her dad actually looks like? Janis: hold on Janis: [finds his linkedin or whatever 'cos that bitch] Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: you reckon we could use his shit Janis: he has a website as well, can take bits of that as #inspiration Jimmy: few edits so it ain't LITERALLY his, bit of a parody, OMG she'll be fuming Janis: right, that's the VIBE Janis: could use his face but distort it, shadow it, put a bag over Janis: you know she'd know still Jimmy: I've been pissing about with hers an' all Jimmy: [shows her what he's been up to because he didn't have her father's deets] Janis: that's good Janis: on the same page on this one Janis: make 'em victims of medical negligence or something Janis: botched hair transplant Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: dickheads sometimes put a 👍 review of their website, happy clients that sort of bollocks Janis: right Janis: and if we make her the lawyer she wants to be Janis: can't really complain Jimmy: she can't but not to sir Jimmy: can* Janis: that's all I care about Janis: she ain't gonna stop COMING for me 😭 Jimmy: or her man for me 😱😱 Janis: soz I don't know what classes he takes so you can smack him and all Jimmy: he'll find me, unless they're both all mouth Janis: 🤷 Jimmy: *🤞 Janis: least the muscles are purely for show Jimmy: 💪🏆 me Janis: mhmm Jimmy: so complimentary, you Jimmy: I get why your inbox is full Janis: don't need to be Janis: I'm the 🏆 Jimmy: I'm taking back the one I gave you a bit ago for generosity or whatever bollocks it were Janis: I'll survive, mate Jimmy: 👌 dry your eyes and crack on Janis: enjoy your DMs Jimmy: Oi I'm illiterate remember, and there's no need to rub it in, Janet Janis: there'll be lots of pictures for you, no doubt Janis: get the gist real easy Jimmy: 🤤🤤😍😍 Jimmy: might be right about me being saved Janis: 😷 GROSS Jimmy: we'll both live Jimmy: 💔🎻 Janis: real tragedy that Jimmy: give it a few years to get on the English curriculum Janis: not that you'll ever know Jimmy: might still be trying to pass it Janis: awh Jimmy: *🤷 Janis: i'm well concerned about your education Jimmy: HANG ON, is this NERD FLIRTING?!! 💕🤓 Jimmy: I'd heard loads about it Janis: have to see what 💀👑 reckons Jimmy: I'll @ her Janis: she'll love that Jimmy: [does obviously and sends her whatever response] Janis: good to know she's SO on board with this 💘 Janis: have to keep it up if she's gonna be so 😭 😤 Jimmy: if she can't have us, next best, obvs Janis: now she knows how poor Ella feels Jimmy: what the fuck is going on there? Janis: if she ain't in love with her idk Janis: she don't need her to buy her shit Jimmy: I'll have to @ her an' all Janis: fill your boots sherlock Janis: 🤞 it's a death cult naturally, so they take my sister with 'em Jimmy: sounds like a bit of me, that Jimmy: gutted I pissed off their leader Janis: well, you want a new 👜 she'll take you in and make you pay with  🩸🥵😭 Jimmy: if it can start a gay teletubby scandal, might do something for me Janis: better rep than 💫💘 Janis: probably Jimmy: what ain't? Janis: cheer Janis: s Janis: not the only one with an inbox full of hilarious 'better' offers Jimmy: you wanna go from 😍😍 to 💀💀💀 in 3 days that's your shout Jimmy: be a record around here at any rate Janis: I'll just do one when you get mixed messages and top yourself Jimmy: take it up with the 'better' offers, more of 'em you can take out, the 'better' this shithole would be Janis: no shit, like Janis: not that much of a slag, sadly Jimmy: you called me Sherlock, pointing out the bloody obvious is my job done Janis: go shoot up and go to your mind palace, like Jimmy: not that much of a druggie, sadly Janis: letdown Janis: said you were 😎 Jimmy: 😎 by 💀👑 standards is bound to be a letdown by yours, Jules Janis: understatement Jimmy: alright, bighead Janis: coming from you, that's almost a compliment Jimmy: I know Jimmy: you can stop fishing now Janis: piss off Jimmy: 😏 Janis: 🖕🖕🖕 NEW BOY Jimmy: 💕 Janis: anything that reminds you of our glorious leader 😍 Jimmy: this teacher's ☕ breath is really doing it for me Janis: cruel and unusual punishment that Janis: tell socials you're being tortured Jimmy: start me a # Janis: #justiceforjimmy is catchy but you don't have a name so won't help Jimmy: @ Mia's dad for legal words beginning with n Jimmy: 🤞 he's got that far in the alphabet or you're on your own, girl Janis: I'll have to go for the cryptic #whereisnewboy Janis: not having 👀 on you must be well distressing for them anyway Jimmy: steady on though, sounds a bit like I've already ghosted you Jimmy: not very #goals that Janis: oh yeah Janis: 🐇🐇🐇 Jimmy: 🐇 on the boil or nowt Jimmy: 💀👑 rule 1 Janis: I'll think on it then 👻 boy Jimmy: 👍 Janis: #getghostboyout Janis: how long did you actually get in there? Jimmy: #bustoutghostboy Janis: lowkey suggestive Jimmy: 👻👻👻👻👻👻👻 Jimmy: right, they'll LOVE that Janis: [pisstakey socials] Jimmy: [replies that are lowkey suggestive because we know we've started something] Janis: [when you don't even know what you're doing but you're doing IT] Jimmy: [god bless you both]

[tiny-circus]

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now? I am confused how someone has stolen my identity and has started making accounts in my name :( so shit.

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? No, mornings aren’t good haha

3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care? Yeah weed just makes people so unproductive. It would annoy me. If it was a social thing I wouldn’t mind buttttt would rather they didn’t. 

4: Do you find it easy to trust others? Yeah once the trust is earned or I’ve got to know someone well. Some people are very open and easy to trust 

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night? Watching the Hobbit

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?  Probably Steven lol 

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on? Leave, block, delete and never talk to again. There’s not much you can do when you’ve been cheated on other than pick yourself back up again and have time alone.

8: Are you close with your dad? Not really.

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right? I did not babes

10: What are you listening to? Just got peep show playing in the background :P

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it? Tea

12: Do you like hickeys? Hate them. Ew.  

13: What time do you go to bed? Usually 11:30 - 12pm

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down? No, I don’t tend to stick around when someone continuously does that

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both? Who cares? XD

16: Do you always answer your texts? Yeah leaving them unread is so annoying

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? Nah, hate is a strong word and it happened a long time ago. All water under the bridge now.

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? An hour or so ago

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? Yeeeeeah all my friends do 

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? Probably something old like “my back still hurts”

21: Is anyone else in the room with you? Nah bare alonez right now

.22: Do you believe what goes around comes around? Yeah

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now? I’m about the same

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? Not really

25: In the past week, have you cried? I shed a little tear reading Kingdom of Ash but I couldn’t have a full on cry in the middle of the train XD 26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing? Red

27: Do people ever call you by your last name? No its so rude when people call someone by their last name. I don’t like it

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now? I dunno?

29: Do you have a best friend? No I’m not 5 30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed? Wouldn’t be hard but I wouldn’t want to see it

31: Who was your last call from? EE - sorting out stupid identity theft shit

32: Are you mad at anyone? I’m a little annoyed. I have a friend that barely contacts me at all (which is fine, we’re all busy and have our lives) but when they do contact me its to talk about their problems that they don’t ever sort out over and over again.  I also don’t think it takes much of their time just to say “hey, what’s up, how’re you?” 

33. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? Yeah I think most people have been a little older

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? I don’t know, 29? 35: How many more days until your birthday? I am not counting, soz babe

36: Do you have any summer plans yet? Probably book a holiday to Greece, haven’t thought that far ahead 

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? Yes

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? I guess I’m keeping my feelings about the friend that barely messages me. I think I’ll have the conversation at some point but they get very anxious and upset whenever I voice a concern.

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? Not that I can think of

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? Probably, some have been so bad XD

41: Do you think age matters in relationships? If you’re both consenting adults and there isn’t some weird power control then I guess its okay

42: Are you available? Available for? ;) 43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?   Two people

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? Lip

45: Do you believe exes can be friends? Yeah I think they can. I think if nothing awful happened and it ends okay, you both need some time apart to get used to having that distance between each other and do your own thing. Once you’re both in the same space mentally it can work.

46: Do you regret anything? Not really

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? Thinking about what is on my mind xD

48: Did you ever lose a best friend? I’ve drifted from people, yeah

49: Was your last kiss a mistake? Not a mistake, I liked him at the time but it didn’t work out. Oh well.

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? I got over the person I liked cos he didn’t want anything serious. I’ve been single for a while so, I don’t really want to mess around

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? No

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed? Yeah sometimes, mostly just send each other weird memes

53: What was the last thing you ate? Homemade bread

54: Did you get any compliments today? No

55: Where are you going on your next vacation? JAPAN AND SOUTH KOREA :D

56: Do you own anything from other countries? I mean my whole wardrobe is mostly from Japan xD

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls? Half and half, but I’ve always got on better with girls

58: Where have you lived most of your life? Good ol’ Billerz

59: When was the last time you took a long drive? I don’t know

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle? No I don’t wanna kiss gross people xD

61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house? I’m not American so Idk what that is

62: Who do you text the most? Faun

63: What was the last movie you saw? The Hobbit

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex? The fact that I don’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend right now xD

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2010? 1

66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you? No

67: Do you curse around your parents? Yeah

68: Are you happy with where you live? S'ight, three stops from London so I ain’t complaining : P

69. Picture of yourself? Just check my profile lol

70. Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships? I’m 100% monogamous

71. Have you ever been dumped? Yeh

72. What do you most like about making out? It leads to spooning which leads to forking

73. Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with? Ye.

74. When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other? The other, I’ve noticed I’m really bad at initiating anything physical. I get kind of nervous? I’m not really a touchy person haha

75. What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive? The face and hair

76. Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed? Mum 

77. Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour? >___>

78. Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name? >____>

79. What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face? When someone messages me something really sweet, or take the time out of their day just to speak to me. I think a little effort goes a long way

80. Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? Honestly depends on how strongly I feel about that person. I don’t want to say no because until I’m in the situation I don’t know

81. Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you? Yeah

82. Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush? Noooooooo I don’t tell anyone until I’m actually with that person. Idk I just have this paranoia that voicing my feelings to other people will ruin it or something will go wrong. So I just keep it to myself until things progress between me and the person I like

83. Do you miss your last sweetie? My what?

84. Last time you slow danced with someone? Never xD

85. Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met? No, how does that work?

86. How can I win your heart? Make an effort, sense of humour, be respectful and kind and sociable 

87. What is your astrological sign? Gemini

88. What were you doing last night at 12 AM? Watching peep show and using my massage machine. My back has been in a lot of pain lately. Getting old init xD

89. Do you cook? Yeah gotta to stay alive 8)

90. Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication? Yeah they got in contact with me. To be honest most guys end up getting back in touch, its either for a booty call, cos they’re feeling shit and lonely or they have a lot of apologising to do.

91. If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship? I don’t wish for it, but if it happens then okay :B

92. Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly? I’m not really into modern dating to be honest. I did it for a while and its a lot of effort and not much pay off. People stop talking for no reason or they don’t give a reason even though you get along. Then you need to build it back up again with someone else. I prefer to just get to know someone after time

93. What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest? Dark hair, baby face, nice fashion style, tattoos

94. Name four things that you wish you had: A long 3 month holiday My own house A cute guy to cuddle ;) Aaaand a million pounds yeah 

95. Are you a player? lol no, I’m very direct. Cba with wasting time

96. Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day? Yeah

97. Are you a tease? Again, I’m very direct so if I want something I’ll say

98. Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr? Yeah

99. Have you ever been deeply in love with someone? Yeash

100. Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with? Nah no one is on here lol

101. Hugs or Kisses? Both :'3

102. Are you too shy to ask someone out? Not really

103. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Cute face, dark hair dark eyes ;) 104. Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe? Everyone should be called babe

105. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it? No I wouldn’t even bother speaking to them

106. Do you flirt a lot? Not at all xD 107. Your last kiss? What about it?

108. Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2011? Up until now? Yeah xD

109. Have you kissed anyone in the past month? Yeah 110. If you could kiss anyone who would it be? TOP

111. Do you know who you’ll kiss next? Nope

112. Does someone like you currently? Nah

113. Do you currently have feelings for anyone? Nah

114. Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? Serious, flings are a waste of time for me 115. Ever made out with just a friend? No thats weird

116. Are you happier single or in a relationship? If the relationship is right, i’ll be happy but Im also happy being single

[deborraah]

1-112 ;)

1 - Who was the last person you texted?My best friend. About jeans.

2 - When is your birthday?March 18th :O

3 - Who do you want to be with right now?EEhhhmmm.

4 - What sports do you play?NONE

5 - Who is the first person in your contacts?An ex colleague :)

6 - What is your favorite song as of the moment?Twenty One Pilots- Heavydirtysoul

7 - If you were stranded on an island, who do you wish to be with?Honestly? My best friend!

8 - What do you feel right now?HUNGRY

9 - What chocolate is your favorite?EVERY CHOCOLATE IS MY FAVE

10 - How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have?Like casually, a few...

11 - Why did you create a Tumblr account?I think one of my friends invited me over on here..

12 - Who is your favorite blogger?IDK

13 - Where do you want to be right now?London 100%

14 - What do you want to be in the future?Myself ? And happy :)

15 - When was the last time you cried? Why?Daily basis ... Something sad probably..

16 - Are you happy?Ofcourse

17 - Who do you miss?My granddad...

18 - If you were given a chance, would you like to have a different life?Yes.

19 - What was the best thing you were given?Oh god I dont really know :O

20 - Who was the last person who called you?My stepmom

21 - What is your favorite dish?PASTA

22 - Who is your bestfriend?MY BESTIE IS

23 - What is your biggest regret? I have a few things...

24 - Have you ever cheated on your partner?Nopeeeee..

25 - Who do you spend crazy moments with?My best friend obviously

26 - Name someone pretty.YOU ALL

27 - Who was the last person you hugged?I think my friend Laura or my brother

28 - What kind of music do you listen to?Anything good !

29 - Are you over your past?Sometimes I am sometimes Im not

30 - Who is the last person in your contacts?My best friends boyfriend I think

31 - What kind of person do you want to date?Someone who makes me laugh and can be annoying with me :’D

32 - Do you have troubles sleeping at night?I used to but its all better now!

33 - From whom was the last text message you received?My bestie.

34 - What do you prefer, jeans or skirt?Both

35 - How’s your heart?Good?

36 - Did you ever have a girlfriend/boyfriend whose name starts with a “J”?I dont think so

37 - Do you like someone as of the moment?Maybeeeeeeeee

38 - What would you want to say to your latest ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend?Nothing.

39 - Do you have any phobias?Spiders, elevators and sliding doors.

40 - Did you try to change for a person?Yeab we all have I think...

41 - What’s the nicest thing have you given to someone?MY FRIENDSHIP BOOOHOOOOHOOOOOOOO

42 - Would you go back to your previous relationship?What relationship :’D

43 - Are you in a good or bad mood?Im in a good mood!

44 - Name someone you can’t live without.My friends and family.

45 - Describe your dream date.OH dinner and a walk through the streets...

46 - Describe your dream wedding.DISNEYLAND BITCHES

47 - How many roses did you receive last Valentine’s?ZERO

48 - Have you ever been kissed?Yeaaaahhh

49 - How long is your longest relationship?*cough**

50 - Do you regret your past?No, sometimes I do

51 - Can you do something stupid for someone else?OFCOURSE

52 - Have you ever cried over someone?OFCOURSE :”D

53 - Do you have a grudge against anyone?Now I have cause they fuckin hurt my feelings.

54 - Are you a crybaby?YES

55 - Do people praise you for your looks?meeehhhhh

56 - Did you fall for someone you shouldn’t?TOTALLY ME RN

57 - Have you ever done something bad but you don’t regret?YES

58 - Do you like getting hurt?ohhh no

59 - Does anyone hate you?IDK ASK OTHER PEOPLE

60 - Did you slap anyone whose name starts with an “R”?Nah

61 - What hair color do you prefer?Uuhhhmm Ive dyed it so much i cant decide ...

62 - If you can change anything about yourself, what is it?My teeth and body

63 - Do you love someone as of the moment?No not really

64 - Have you ever thought of killing yourself?There was a time I wasnt very happy with myself

65 - Do you have issues with somebody in your school?At work? kinda ...

66 - Can you live without internet?Probably

67 - What’s the song that remind you of your special someone? Closer - chainsmokers lol

68 - Are you good at holding back your tears?NOPE NOT AT ALL

69 - Are you a crybaby?DUH

70 - Have you ever experienced being hysterical?YESSSS im a dramatic person!

71 - Are you a KPOP fan?No not at all

72 - Do you study hard? LOLOLOLOLOLOL

73 - Have you ever sacrificed something important to you for someone you love?not really

74 - Did you ever had a kiss under the moonlight?I wish

75 - Have you ever ridden a boat?YES THIS SUMMER

76 - Did you have an accident last year?Nooo thank god

77 - What kind of person are you?I hope Im a good person?

78 - Have you ever thought of killing someone?SOMETIMES YEAH

79 - Have you ever been jealous?Im kinda a jealous person!

80 - How can you prove your love to someone?In so many ways!

81 - What are you thinking right now?“should i play dbd or nah”

82 - Who is the 6th person in your contacts?idk cba to check :’D

83 - Do you have any memories you want to erase?some of them yeah!

84 - Have you been hurt so bad that you can’t find words to explain how you feel?Totally ...

85 - Did you ever badmouth someone?Yeah probably

86 - Have you ever had an argument with someone?Obivously

87 - Do you have trust issues?sometimes ... low selfesteem and stuff ya know

88 - Are you broken-hearted?No

89 - Who’s the person who first comes to your mind when someone mentions “love”?Family...

90 - Do you think all the pain is worth it?In the end maybe

91 - Do you believe in the phrase “If it’s meant to be, it will be”?I would love to believe it but yet have to see it happen

92 - Who do you want to marry?My true love?

93 - Do you believe in destiny?Sure!

94 - Have you ever thought “I already found my soulmate”?Mehhh kinda?

95 - How do you look right now?Messy :’D

96 - Do you believe that first true love never dies?I feel like they will forever hold a place in your heart

97 - Have you found your true love?no ...

98 - What should you be doing right now?eating lol

99 - Name one of your ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends.Ehhm Matthias?

100 - What is your sexual orientation?Straight

101 - Did you ever feel like you’re not good enough?Always.

102 - How old are you?25 ( almost 26)

103 - What age do you get mistaken for?19-22

104 - Who is your celebrity crush?cough minter cough. Josh hutcherson

105 - What is your OTP?Eerrhhm dont have on rn

106 - What is your favorite book/series?THG, Harry Potter ,...

107 - Who is your favoroite author?John Green

108 - What is your favoite band?MCFLY

109 - What is your favorite TV show?Belgian show called DE MOL

110 - What is your favorite movie?Anything hunger games or marvel

111- Post a picture of yourself.

112 - Post an old picture of yourself.I cant post pictures here lol

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: [I'm gonna say he's just full on sat next to her for food or whatever after also sitting next to her on the coach/minibus etc] Jimmy: let's not stop meeting like this Janis: Hope you don't think this harrassment is going to fly Janis: not a Catholic school Jimmy: You'd have to speak up, reckon that's about as likely as Jesus weighing in on the issue Jimmy: but alright I owe you a vape pen, glue stick or whatever else the paddy youth classes as a fun time Janis: Wouldn't wanna inflate your ego more than everyone else has Janis: or talk to you, obvs Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: congrats on your immunity Jimmy: 🏅🏆 Janis: To what? Janis: the clap or your lack of charm Jimmy: both Jimmy: you're a real winner, girl Janis: aw thanks Janis: if you want tossing off under the table though, you've got plenty other options Jimmy: a real heart breaker, you Jimmy: gives me a better idea Jimmy: tah Janis: that's me Janis: brains and beauty Janis: ? Jimmy: don't forget modesty and humility Jimmy: use your 💔 talents to publicly me and I can spend the rest of this trip in exile Jimmy: 🎻😭🎻 Janis: i'd rather, tah Janis: you want that rep? Janis: guess a pussy is pretty undesirable Jimmy: more than the one they're trying to give me, yeah Jimmy: not the only 🧠 on board Janis: no jerking off, remember Janis: fine Janis: leave your vape pen at home Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: don't touch me Jimmy: or my nonexistent vape pen Janis: not planning on it Janis: school trips are ample molestation time all 'round but me and Mr Lucas got other 🎯 Jimmy: what is the plan then? Jimmy: be 💔 to cockblock you and him and that's your thing more than mine Janis: you've come to me with no plan? Janis: 'course Janis: right, who's in your room? Jimmy: if you can't do it you ain't the girl for me Jimmy: and if you are, I ain't gonna tell you how to work Jimmy: Dunno, man bun, deepest of v neck t-shirts? Jimmy: probably does vape Janis: yeah, dead considerate, I buy it Janis: not bad description though, if you're a police informant, you're giving the game away Janis: later, message me when he's got his mates in your room, yeah Janis: step 1 Jimmy: 👌 💰 Jimmy: I'm 45 and faking being a real boy, the 😎 hide my crows feet Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [when you 😏 irl] Janis: explains the whole look, really Jimmy: [likewise cos she's funny too] Jimmy: save it for the break up, sweetheart Janis: rest assured, just 'cos you're new doesn't mean I've not got enough insults for you to spare Jimmy: that'll be why I asked you Jimmy: all in for that 👅 baby, sharper the better Janis: obviously Janis: not like I'm the only bitch who wouldn't take this as a 💍 Jimmy: 🤞 Mr Lucas has picked one out for you Jimmy: 👰🎊💕 Janis: 😩😩😩 Janis: don't get my hopes up Jimmy: my bad, mate Jimmy: You want me to give him a nudge? Only take the one screenshot, I'm sure Janis: idk if he swings both ways Janis: or that a 🍆📸 is gonna help my case Janis: but cheers, mate Jimmy: give him a bit to get to know me Jimmy: and appreciate my many talents Jimmy: be alright Janis: defs what they had in mind for the group bonding sesh Jimmy: bit rude to skip it then, like Janis: who are you to deny the world of your 'talents' Janis: I feel a migraine coming on though Jimmy: with a head that big it's gonna be a killer Janis: 🤞 Janis: I'll need all afternoon Jimmy: 🙏🏻 for you, my dear Janis: 💕 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: [a dramatic 😑 deadpan] Jimmy: [he's just like 😏 of course] Jimmy: the dickheads are about Janis: alright Janis: get ready to answer the door Janis: [idea is she shows up so whoever the f was in her room at the time knows she's gone somewhere (and they nosy af so they'll be ON IT) and then these lads will see them go off together and thus the rumour-mill can do it's thing without them having to do more than go and hide and smoke somewhere for a hot sec] Jimmy: if you're gonna be naked give me a heads up to be 😍 not 😑 Jimmy: whatever the rumour mill reckons I weren't on that teen soap Janis: alright, hollyoaks Janis: the accent and the IQ, not any of the emotional range Janis: subtly is your friend even if I ain't, nothing makes them lose their shit more Jimmy: maybe you do have something going on behind them 👀 Janis: save the 'compliments' for when you 'reckon they're just out of earshot, boy Jimmy: save the bossiness for when Mr Lucas wifes you Janis: you're the one that said you weren't gonna tell me how to work Janis: so fuck up if you want my face to be anything but not at your door Jimmy: you're working them not me Jimmy: so crack on Janis: pick up a hoodie or a jacket yeah Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: what's your colour? Janis: right, so you aren't a total amateur Janis: ⬛️ works 😎 boy Jimmy: It's how we woo girls in the freezing cold north Janis: try not to freeze yourself 'cos naturally you can't have it back 'til this shitshow is over Jimmy: are you dyslexic? I just said 💪 Janis: believe that when I see it Janis: [shows up] Jimmy: [off you go 'sneakily' haha] Janis: [she's 100% in a shortie PJs moment for the added scandal of it all 'cos unlike the rest she hasn't bought all the LEWKS to this trip honey, hence the need for the hoodie] Jimmy: [don't check her out too much boy cos we know that's actually a look and you wanna] Janis: [avoid the teachers on the way out but get caught on the way in, 'cos no one ever gets in proper trouble on school trips 'cos they cba but again, gets people shooketh] Jimmy: [such a mood, unrelated but I once mooned on a school trip] Janis: [just walking in casual silence right now] Jimmy: [literally not gonna say a word this whole time lbr] Janis: [suits both of you, just be somewhere they can't be peeping] Jimmy: [you know he's 🚬 because always, casually retrieved from behind his ear because #mood] Janis: [just stealing it 'cos what else are you gonna do frankly] Jimmy: [giving her a look like oi and stealing it back cos likewise] Janis: [when you're just snatching lmao, 'YOU owe ME, dickhead, so consider your debt repaid' 😏] Jimmy: [lights a new one for her and gives her it like aim higher because shady bitch and also that's a habit from day 1] Janis: [raises it like cheers] Jimmy: [tips a hat he doesn't have on] Janis: [the 🙄 but we know you sneaky amused] Jimmy: [gotta give them back because its what they always do] Janis: [gestures like gimme your phone] Jimmy: [does without a second thought which makes me die] Janis: [lucky she's not being a dick with it, takes a cute/vaguely sexy pic in his hoodie and saves her number handing it back with a shrug like now you can brag as much as you do or don't wanna 'cos how boys do] Jimmy: [sends her a text which is literally just '😍' so she has his] Janis: [sends back a '🖕'] Jimmy: [sends back '💔'] Janis: ['😂'] Jimmy: [when you gesture at her to come here so you can take a pic together because she needs something in her phone too in case of nosy bitches] Janis: [does, obvs, start as you mean to go on lads] Jimmy: [casual photo session] Janis: [you know grace is blowing her phone up like WHERE HAVE YOU GONE rn] Jimmy: [the truest thing, hold on honey, they're busy] Jimmy: [he'd give her a bemused look cos miss popular is not the mood he expected but like also he knows the plan is working so can't complain] Janis: [the face you'd make 'cos it looks like you're just bffs with her and not related like omg no] Jimmy: [it'd make him lol he wouldn't be able to help it] Janis: [just scowling in that last pic] Jimmy: [casually his fave out of all the pics] Janis: [the temptation to send one to her just to shut her up but that'd be too easy so you gotta make her work for it lol] Jimmy: [you'll have so much time to shut everyone up, hang in there kids] Janis: [for now enjoy the literal irl silence] Jimmy: [it would be so nice cos his roommate would be as annoying and loud] Janis: [I legit thought you were describing Ollie so #real when your fam is just too much] Jimmy: [#confirmed and whatever girlfriend he has currently should be on the trip too so it's even more annoying to share] Janis: [fun and games, defs kicking grace out so you can 'get it on' 'cos she'll be fuming, everyone coupled] Jimmy: [we simply must] Jimmy: [she'd have to throw herself at some random trip lad so as not to be entirely left out which is not a mood] Janis: [can only imagine the quality gurl no] Jimmy: [honestly, don't even bother but we know she will] Janis: [god bless, also you can probably start heading back lads] Jimmy: [take a second to imagine the kiss when he walks her back, like enjoy everyone but also you two shamelessly] Janis: could've warned me, prick Jimmy: so you're the amateur then? Jimmy: could've warned me of that Janis: fuck off Janis: was following the 'don't touch me' rule Jimmy: you never said I couldn't touch you Janis: 'cos it's a given Janis: whatever Janis: it worked Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: you don't think? Jimmy: you that confident? Janis: i get it, lads ain't AS hysterical as girls are Janis: usually Janis: these headphones aren't as noise-canceling as they promised Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: not for you, but as far as the plan Janis: you're welcome Jimmy: not for long Jimmy: exile, remember Janis: ain't got a spare room I can magic out my arse for you Jimmy: I get it, we ain't back at your mansion now Jimmy: it's alright, rich girl, no hard feelings Janis: 😢 some more, pussyole Janis: you wanna swap beds? Jimmy: you want that rep this soon? Jimmy: I've had a few less than 🥇 nights with northern lasses but nowt worth crying about Janis: you can spare me the details if you want an invite Janis: the idea is to be less annoying than this lot Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: hope you don't think i'm doing this work for free Janis: they reckon we're having such a scintillating conversation rn, again, welcome Jimmy: what you don't love an emoji standoff? Janis: 😍 Janis: of course Jimmy: if you need me to make you 😳 that's one of my talents Janis: sure Janis: that shit don't work on me Jimmy: sure Jimmy: you're well special, you Jimmy: a proper ❄ Janis: if you like Janis: or you ain't as special as you've been led to believe but either or Jimmy: the idea is to be less annoying than this lot, in your own words Janis: if you think i'm the type to take the higher ground whilst you continue to be a dickhead, you got the wrong bitch Jimmy: If you think this is me being a dickhead, you've got the wrong northern new boy Janis: scary Janis: is this the part where i cream myself? Jimmy: You can't kiss and you scare too easily Jimmy: is there owt else I gotta be warned about? Janis: you couldn't make a 🐷😳 Jimmy: you've got body issues an' all ✔ Jimmy: what diet are you on, I'll try and look interested Janis: wrong sister Janis: pass on your deets Jimmy: Tah Janis: have fun Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [skip to after am activities which they slayed as a #team] Janis: tah for not dragging me down too much Jimmy: I were about to say the same thing to you, girl Jimmy: 💕 Janis: wow, so in-synch Janis: what am I thinking rn Jimmy: it'd make a 🐷😳 Janis: [when you barely hold back that lol] Janis: oh well Janis: 💕 whilst it lasted babe Jimmy: fuck it, I'm still pretty Jimmy: 🧠 off for a bit Janis: sound like a delusional single ma Janis: you'll bounce back, karen, you still got it Jimmy: that'll be 'cause I am Jimmy: two kids and no man Janis: 💔 Janis: make the most of this you time Jimmy: on it Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: 🙌📣👏🏆 Jimmy: living laughing loving Jimmy: all in this one morning Janis: break out the pink gin and prosecco babes Jimmy: It's a #date Janis: the lack of booze on this trip is shocking Janis: someone's got to have something Jimmy: meant to be what you paddys are known for Jimmy: sort it out, the lot of yous Janis: if I find the goods, I won't share 💕 Jimmy: actually 💔 Jimmy: I'll sneak off and find my own then Jimmy: gotta be a pub somewhere Janis: you reckon you're getting free Jimmy: why not? Janis: 😎 not ninja Jimmy: I'll send you a selfie once I've had a few Jimmy: proof'll be in the pint Janis: fuck off are you going without Jimmy: you reckon you're coming with? piss off Janis: i won't need to chat to you when we get there Janis: if Jimmy: you don't need to chat to me now but on you go Janis: this ain't talking Janis: and you can't stop me Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: you'll get over it Janis: dry your eyes Jimmy: You'll get over staying here Janis: fuck off, you don't even know where we are Jimmy: I've got a 📱 knobhead Jimmy: [waves it at her IRL] Janis: call a hotline to 😢🍆👌 it out Jimmy: phone a friend to take you to the pub Jimmy: I'll see you there Janis: I can go myself, dickwad Janis: 🤞 we don't pick the same one Jimmy: I'll avoid anywhere called the Blushing Pig Jimmy: know it's your local Janis: you'll wanna avoid anywhere too local with that accent Jimmy: I ain't scared, leave that to you, like Janis: piss off Jimmy: the plan's that, yeah Janis: okay, try this one, shut up Jimmy: this ain't talking Jimmy: what happened to that? Janis: i make the rules Janis: it's talking when i want you to not Jimmy: 😍🤤😍 Janis: 🙄 Janis: laters then Jimmy: in a bit Janis: ✌ flip reverse that Jimmy: [nearly lols] Jimmy: 😘 Janis: 💕 Jimmy: went from hot to cute well quick Janis: yeah, not the only one with talents Jimmy: I might believe you when I see any Janis: I were about to say the same thing to you, boy Jimmy: I got in there first, girl Jimmy: what are you gonna do? Janis: fact remains, no blushes, just bullshit Janis: and to get to the pub? Janis: not helping you, amateur Jimmy: [sends her some real saucy shit use your imagination cos we know I don't have skills] Jimmy: To hide your blush or top that Janis: [when you have to make a face of disgust so it ain't straight up 😳] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [at least her going out for a run would not be weird if the teachers asked] Jimmy: [run baby run] Janis: [jump that fence, you're defs getting into trouble after the hols, starting the new term off well before finishing this one] Jimmy: [start as you mean to go on, everyone will be scandalised] Janis: [just ignoring each other lmao] Jimmy: [good luck with that] Janis: did you get lost Jimmy: did you pull a muscle? Janis: I'm 💪 Jimmy: no proof, just chat Janis: proof is how far behind you're lagging Jimmy: Piss off Janis: aw baby Jimmy: save your sweet talk, Judith Jimmy: you might need the practice but I don't need to hear it Janis: gotta concentrate on your 🗺 Janis: only so much 🧠 power a Northern boys got Jimmy: congrats on being a native, mate Janis: ain't that hard Janis: one main road Jimmy: I'll drop you in my old home town and you can let me know how well you crack on Janis: alright Janis: piss easy Jimmy: 👌 Janis: can't be much worse than here Jimmy: can be your own judge Janis: generous Jimmy: I ain't buying you a pint Jimmy: stop flirting with me Janis: I'll get someone of age to do that Janis: tah Jimmy: 🧠 and 🍀 Janis: just tits Janis: don't feel too bad Jimmy: I feel bad for you if you're banking on that Janis: 10 feminist points for you, pop up a status #ally Jimmy: I meant 'cause your sister's are better but alright Janis: didn't see her hauling her arse over no fence but alright Jimmy: nobody asked her, that'll be why Jimmy: must be politer than you an' all Janis: find your way back and shag her then, like Jimmy: If I fancied that I wouldn't be here Jimmy: but tah for giving us your blessing Janis: got more chance that than getting a drink Jimmy: take that 🍻 chance still Janis: tits aren't that good then Jimmy: To cancel out the lass attached she'd need them🥇 Jimmy: I'm new, but that don't mean I ain't got a single clue about nowt Janis: so made up you've seen a boob, mate Jimmy: me too, like Janis: 👌 Janis: [sends picture of drink like mission accomplished] Jimmy: 👏 Jimmy: you should post that somewhere you can actually brag Janis: tah for the suggestion Janis: wait 'til I'm finished Janis: Lucas don't need my location Jimmy: How else is he meant to propose? Jimmy: 💔 for him Janis: you wanna 💔 him when I get caught cheating Jimmy: he's 💕 I'm just here to make you 😳 Janis: not talking about you, you ain't here Jimmy: not talking to me either, this don't count Janis: too right Jimmy: 👍 Janis: be thinking up #s for me if you've got the brain space Jimmy: How much you gonna pay me, rich girl? Janis: get you a pint if you ever make it Jimmy: [struts in] Jimmy: Go on then Janis: [gets the lad to get 'em all a drink in, sure he is thrilled lmao] Jimmy: [#cockblocked] Janis: 👏 on not dying Jimmy: might do on the way back Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 🎻 Jimmy: wouldn't be a tragedy to miss more team building Janis: I don't wanna give you cpr Jimmy: don't bring it up then Jimmy: I never asked Janis: I don't care Janis: not catching a case 'cos you're suicidal Jimmy: I get it, you need the practice for that an' all Janis: I get it, you're a dick Jimmy: Is there owt you can do on the first try? Janis: none of your business Jimmy: no then Jimmy: alright Janis: you don't know me Janis: and you don't need to Jimmy: 👌❄ Jimmy: I don't want to Janis: sure Janis: so don't ask Jimmy: It weren't a real question, more of a dig Janis: like I said, I get it Janis: real edgy stuff Jimmy: whatever big head, you know things Jimmy: I got that myself ages ago Janis: yeah, you're dead convincing, hollyoaks Jimmy: I wouldn't bother auditioning if I were you Jimmy: they really care about tits Janis: you're fooled Janis: but thanks for the advice Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [when your phone's going off 'cos only so long before they'd be obligated to call the police lol but they'd try to get contact first, massive 🙄] Janis: drink up, newbie Jimmy: no chance, I just got here Janis: you wanna be dragged out by a teacher Janis: that'll look well 😎 Jimmy: If it's Mr Lucas Jimmy: 😍🤤😍 Janis: [short lol like ha] Janis: alright then, enjoy Janis: [going out with the dude] Jimmy: 💕 Janis: [after a period] Janis: I'll tell 'em where to find you then, shall I? Jimmy: such a romantic, you Janis: well it ain't gonna look very #goals but that's your choice Jimmy: Thought you were making the rules Janis: I ain't gonna drag you out, nice try perv Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: do whatever the fuck you are gonna do then, Jennifer Janis: 🙄 omg get out Janis: take the glass with you if you're aiming for impressive here Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: what are you trying to achieve Jimmy: We've done this bit, don't know each other, don't want to, ring any bells? Jimmy: and it should be obvious for a 🧠 like yours Janis: you want to get them to leave you alone, sure Janis: so you don't need to cause this scene Jimmy: Do you wanna be here? Janis: I didn't come for no reason Janis: but I don't need the garda called on me Jimmy: I came here for my dad's bollocks reasons Jimmy: so maybe I do Janis: alright Janis: I'll say I ain't seen you then Janis: if that's what you want Jimmy: that won't look right Jimmy: we're meant to be love's young dream Janis: right Janis: so we've really gotta bonnie and clyde it? Jimmy: I'll find another way to fuck him over Jimmy: without dragging you down into it Janis: cheers Janis: consider it an IOU, yeah Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: we should've taken more pictures Janis: I've text my sister, now they know we're not actually runaways/kidnapped/other, we can at least take our time before the bollocking Janis: get another drink if you want Jimmy: I don't have a 🔪 in my pocket everyone Jimmy: figure it out Janis: just pleased to see me, yeah Janis: good one Jimmy: 💀 pact's tomorrow Jimmy: and we're obviously using poison Janis: obviously, the ⛵ lake isn't deep enough to walk into the middle of Jimmy: and I don't have rocks in my pocket either Jimmy: they ain't that deep Janis: 💔💰 poor boy, right? Jimmy: Yep Jimmy: 🎻😭🎻 Janis: gutting Janis: I'll bring the poison then Jimmy: Tah Jimmy: I'll bring the 🥧 for you to poison Janis: it's for credit, by the way Jimmy: 👌 Janis: somehow shitter than I imagined still Jimmy: 💔 Janis: yeah yeah Janis: you got a 🚬? Jimmy: only thing actually in my pockets Janis: don't need an inventory can I have one Jimmy: If you come here Janis: so bloody awkward Jimmy: I don't get credit for exercising, mate Janis: 🙄 yeah cheers for the training Janis: [comes in though] Jimmy: [waves because cheeky little shit] Janis: [😑 just puts her hands out like tah] Jimmy: I said, come here Janis: [stomps closer like boy] Jimmy: [pulls her closer to him because 1. that bitch and 2. selfie opportunities shouldn't be ignored 3. shameless] Janis: [when you go hard for the selfies but then you push him back like oi] Jimmy: [when you likewise go hard for the selfies but then shrug and walk out knowing she'll follow you for that 🚬] Janis: you're so stupid Jimmy: *northern Janis: if you wanna do your people like that Janis: I'm just talking 'bout you Jimmy: We all understand what come here means Jimmy: my stupid dog just about does an' all Janis: fuck off Jimmy: Do you want a 🚬 or not? Janis: I did, you heard me Jimmy: Come on then Janis: [comes out but starts walking gesturing like let's go] Jimmy: [lights one for her and holds it out cos always] Janis: [takes it in silence] Jimmy: [walking and 🚬 in silence as is their standard] Janis: they better go easy on you 'cos you're a new kid and by proxy, me Jimmy: I'll play the 🎻🎻s loud Jimmy: it'll be alright Janis: yeah Janis: long as my parents don't find out and try to fuck with my holiday, give a fuck Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: like you wanna be grounded for 3 weeks Jimmy: like that'd be his choice of punishment Janis: lucky you Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: poor you Janis: mhmm Jimmy: [is just 😒 but when is that not his face tbh] Janis: [so not gonna notice really] Jimmy: [deafening silence is also not a clue] Janis: don't snitch on me and I won't snitch on you Jimmy: 👍 Janis: later then Janis: [bolts 'cos awkward] Jimmy: [meanwhile he's taking his sweet time and we all know it] Janis: [the very next day, room cleaning duty 'cos you've been bad eggs] Jimmy: here's your chance to see if anyone has anything to drink Janis: true Janis: I'll do Dan and Jake's room then, that's where my money is Jimmy: 💕 and 🍀 girl Janis: godspeed Janis: 📸 anything good Jimmy: What kind of bollocks paddy punishment is this? Jimmy: barely started and I've got 🚬s and 💸 Janis: they ain't the sharpest Janis: plus they're terrified we'll turn around and say they went full on abuse of power away from school property Jimmy: You should let me in your room Janis: I ain't got nothing to steal, have at my sister's shit Janis: but seriously, they realise they've left us alone rn, dopes Jimmy: Later, dickhead Jimmy: when your sister is about Janis: twincest ain't the one Jimmy: 💔 Janis: Jack would disagree, clearly Janis: [retro pornmag moment] Janis: guess he knew the signal would be shit, clever boy Jimmy: can't be that clever if he ain't getting any off the page Janis: neither are you, like Jimmy: You're rocking my world, baby Jimmy: don't insult yourself Janis: 😏 Janis: right Jimmy: [a picture of some prescription pills] Jimmy: want these? Janis: won't even take offense to that implication Janis: go on Jimmy: 👌 Janis: You should come then Janis: later Jimmy: I don't wanna do drugs with you, Jodie Jimmy: it weren't the idea Janis: I get the idea, moron Janis: I'm saying yeah, probably should Jimmy: Alright Janis: these kids are idiots Janis: why have they bought half this shit Jimmy: not all of them, I just found your sister's friend's binge stash 🍫🍪🍬 Jimmy: won't be starving in a bit Janis: that's evil Janis: someone'll die if she don't get her cals Janis: 🤞 it's grace Jimmy: 😈 me Jimmy: come and get a 🍪 Janis: not your stupid dog Jimmy: she follows instructions 50% of the time Janis: 🖕 Janis: maybe if you were a better trainer Jimmy: more for me 💕 Janis: you enjoy, I'm busy Jimmy: I get it, it's decent porn Janis: that's it 🙄😂 Janis: but you've put me off now, twat Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: 🍀 I'm coming over later then Janis: obviously Janis: how morally dubious is it to put Kieran's missus' bra in say Janis: Leon's bed Janis: asking for a friend Jimmy: I'd reckon you were morally obligated Jimmy: answering for everyone Janis: 😇 me Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Pouring water in Brian's bed is gonna be my good deed for the day Janis: 🙏 Jimmy: Could've got into Catholic school well easily, me Janis: missed a trick Janis: you'd have loved it 📏😩 Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Janis: that is a username and a half Jimmy: Wait til you have a scroll, mate Jimmy: you'll be 😍🤤 Janis: 🍀 I don't need the sugar Jimmy: he ain't got the 💰 to be that kinda daddy Jimmy: and you ain't got step mum in you Janis: fuck you Janis: just 'cos you don't want that for you Jimmy: 'Cause you just said you're 😇 Jimmy: gotta be evil, knobhead Janis: suspect Janis: why you being almost nice Janis: you wanna share the swag I found Jimmy: #duh Janis: depends Janis: you eat all the 🍪s Jimmy: I'm only one lad Jimmy: there's fucking 1000s Janis: part-timer Janis: yeti could do it in five minutes Jimmy: you're the 😳🐷 Jimmy: but challenge accepted Janis: why you trying to give me an eating disorder Janis: you've already tampered with one bitch's today, like Janis: is it your thing? Jimmy: Why ain't you already got one? Jimmy: looks like most of the lasses at school have Janis: No I don't Janis: I'm not an idiot Jimmy: Sounds like something a lass with an eating disorder would say but alright Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: I'm going for a 🚬 Jimmy: cover me Janis: sure Janis: diligent as Jimmy: or come with Jimmy: if you want Janis: depends Janis: you giving me a 🚬 to stay skinny Jimmy: No need Janis: make your mind up Jimmy: I've never said you're fat Janis: bullshit! 😂 Janis: at least try to keep up with what you're dishing out Jimmy: I can't keep up with what ain't there Janis: the pig emoji is straight-up still on my screen, boy Jimmy: 🧠 and 😳 Janis: 😏 sure Jimmy: don't come then, girl Janis: shut up Janis: I want one Jimmy: Who's the biggest dickhead? We'll go in their room for it Janis: 🤔 Janis: 11 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: race you Janis: big mistake Jimmy: [obviously beats her but only because he was halfway there when he said they should race #sneaky] Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: [just fuming 😒] Jimmy: [😏 shamelessly and lounging on the bed of whoever the hell's room this is] Janis: ['cheater' and sitting on the floor] Jimmy: [throws a pillow at her like oi even though he is but also so she can sit on it if she want #softboy] Janis: [just looking at him like I don't want a pillow] Jimmy: ['reckoned you might need one after being such a sore loser' shrugs and throws some 🍬s from the stash he's pocketed her way instead] Janis: ['don't get sore that easy, boy' popping one in her mouth and throwing whatever spoils she found into the middle] Jimmy: [lighting up x2 first for her and then him and then lying on the bed and staring up at the ceiling, bit rude that you haven't looked at what she brought boy] Janis: [takes it but is just ashing it on the floor] Jimmy: [blowing smoke rings at this random kid's ceiling casually] Janis: [just on your phone like] Jimmy: [when you lowkey are trying not to fall asleep because blatantly on his phone all night to Bobby 'cause he was left with Ian] Janis: [allowing it 'cos no need to be that much of a dick, like] Jimmy: [accidentally doing that OTT dramatic jerking yourself awake thing after a bit, which there's no styling out] Janis: [lil 😏 'don't set the gaff alight, too far'] Jimmy: ['if that's where you draw the line, babe'] Janis: ['save the big stuff for the death pact end times'] Jimmy: [does a IRL 👍] Janis: ['he keep you up?'] Jimmy: [when you nod automatically but obviously who you mean isn't who she means but you can't then be like actually no] Janis: [shakes her head like dickhead but kinda fondly 'cos doesn't hate Ollie] Jimmy: [when he doesn't know they are related still so amused] Janis: [just looking like you have a crush lmao] Jimmy: [lighting another 🚬 you don't need immediately after you've put the 1st one out in this room cos you don't wanna leave] Janis: [hopping up onto the bed to look through the shit he found 'cos no rush to go back to cleaning or being with the rest either] Jimmy: [sneaky looking at her while she's looking at the things] Janis: [oh duh, she should have the holy grail in a backpack 'cos someone had to have some booze even if it's just cans or shitty alcohpops, get that out like now it's a #haul] Jimmy: [yasss get #day drunk kids, well not really because there wouldn't be enough but still, have at it] Janis: [just putting one on his chest like a bottle for a baby lmao] Jimmy: [a little lol] Janis: 💕🍺 Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: ['Slainte'] Jimmy: [downs the drink cos the only thing to do when its shit] Janis: [the same] Jimmy: [eating all those sweet treats and necking all that booze having a lovely time] Janis: [get some energy boo] Jimmy: [being #goals together on the low] Janis: [selfie moment] Jimmy: [as always going harder than you need to] Janis: [gotta make people think you used your time wisely] Jimmy: [voting for the first ever love bite to happen rn] Janis: fuckin' vampire Jimmy: subtlety ain't always the way to get top marks Janis: alright 🤓 Janis: but if I die in a freak hickey accident, like they write about to scare bitches, you have to pretend to be devastated at my funeral Jimmy: you'll live, dry your eyes and wipe your mouth, like Janis: you with the blood, dickwad Jimmy: you with the 🍫, baby Janis: 😑 Janis: [but has to check] Jimmy: told you Jimmy: it weren't a pisstake Janis: you are Jimmy: 💔 Janis: could've at least wiped it off for me Janis: make it work Jimmy: I know how much you ain't about being touched Jimmy: I am making it work Janis: don't be a pussy Janis: [points at the love bite like duh] Jimmy: [shamelessly touches it while giving her a look] Janis: [when you just have to be like not phased face 'cos competitive] Jimmy: [when you have to do another even better one as a result cos #same] Janis: [giving him an ear one 'cos gotta one up the situ otherwise why are you doing this boys, we know why] Jimmy: [when you're so into it you have to be like ow to hide how into it you are] Janis: [🙄 but checks it sneaky like] Jimmy: [🙄 back cos what else can he do] Janis: you'll live Jimmy: leave it out Janis: you said it first Jimmy: you were 😢 first Janis: you're louder Janis: how much more trouble are you gonna get me in? Jimmy: how much more trouble do you wanna be in? Janis: [a LOOK] Jimmy: [gotta return it of course] Janis: [need to hear people coming for the cockblock] Jimmy: [I was just about to say that] Janis: [better get outta this randos room sharpish] Jimmy: [when you can take her hand to run off cos you can play it off like in case someone sees us if she was like excuse you] Janis: [not gonna fight it though 'cos you can just say you were on the level] Jimmy: [we all know what's up] Janis: [are they going to her room or separate?] Jimmy: [good question, do you wanna do any afternoon awkwardness before that?] Janis: [we could do another lunch moment and see if we have any ideas] Jimmy: [I'm down to give them a fake coupley af lunch] Janis: [go cause a commotion honeys] Jimmy: [everyone would be so extra about their everything, I can't] Janis: [it'd be amusing af] Jimmy: [be a cliche and carry her food for her for a start boy] Janis: [sit at a table with like some people but only have eyes for each other, duh] Jimmy: [and they should whisper a lot cos it looks saucy but really they could be saying anything and are probably shading y'all] Janis: [deffo, as well as sharing food like you probably have the same shit on your plates there's 0 need] Jimmy: [#thosecouples at least they are being OTT on purpose like] Janis: [exactly, also everyone has peeped those love bites 'cos they were such a big deal when school like people would be wearing scarves like oh no don't look aha] Jimmy: [Grace about to stab herself with a fork, oh honey just wait til you get kicked out of your room later] Janis: [you gonna be heated and your friends are just gonna be at the door like 👂] Jimmy: [literally she is gonna angry cry and we all know it bitch] Janis: [you know there would've been convos this whole time, we should probably do that] Jimmy: [we totally can] Jimmy: [also he's totally slipping in some actual flirtiness with the whispers and we know it's not just to make her 😳 bye] Janis: [just angrily whispering back like imma fuck you up boy] Jimmy: [like she's not a white ginger where its gonna be that obvious nobody's checking you can calm down Jimothy, you're already also touching her way more than you need to for your own benefit] Janis: [gotta hit him with a footsie moment 'cos there's still nothing more obvious than when you're being faux subtle] Jimmy: [love that for them] Janis: [like you can't be too cray there are teachers in here lmao] Jimmy: [thank god, any actual PDA and Grace would die] Janis: [can have a moment on the way out to your activity try and stop 'em] Jimmy: [they want it as much as their audience does so sorry Mr Lucas you're outvoted, like] Janis: [when i went to camp mary and her mans were so extra at the end they got awarded camp's romeo and juliet so like as long as it keep pg 13 you're alright tbh and he loves it] Jimmy: [god bless] Janis: [okay trust falls and blindfold assault course moment for the afternoon] Jimmy: [lowkey having fun even though you're meant to be hating it] Janis: [when she'd be freaking out to him on the low like don't fucking drop me bitch 'cos trust issues but you gotta be #goals so he won't] Jimmy: [we know he'd piss about but it's actually fine, he can and will piggyback you in the future babe, he's got this] Jimmy: [#trustissuessquad because likewise would not enjoy that bit] Janis: [poor grace bouta die on the other hand, like courteney let ellie drop and she still doesn't trust her lmao] Janis: [good for tryna get attention like friends help me i'm hurt] Jimmy: [Grace would be living for that drama and also she gonna fuck that boy later so payback for you boy getting put in some vulnerable positions lol] ] Jimmy: [also she can cry off like oh I'm so injured so she don't have to watch the JJ show for a bit] Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🎻💔😭 Janis: sure there's a defrosting pack of peas going if you want the job Janis: not as popular as she'd like to believe Jimmy: You're alright Jimmy: and so's she Janis: never how I'd put it, but no shit on that point regardless Jimmy: hang on, just gonna @ my dad to prove that my little brother ain't the biggest cry baby going Jimmy: She's 🥇 and you're 🥈 Janis: funny Janis: when I have him over for dinner he can see for himself Jimmy: Funnier Janis: i know Janis: not your fault you're 🥉 Jimmy: Reckons the lass who can't do owt first go Janis: the boy who still reckons he knows anything about me when we've been over this Jimmy: You nearly took my 👂 off earlier but I've still got both 👀 mate Janis: if i knew we were aiming to maim, you wouldn't have Janis: still got a 👄 you chat 💩 out of too, unfortunately Jimmy: [when you're trying not to lol] Jimmy: lovely you Janis: [😏] Janis: it's been said Jimmy: I get it, you've got form with the maiming, loads of blind and deaf lads about now Jimmy: Tah for letting me off so light 💕 Janis: well it ain't real, so only fair Jimmy: now I know you're a lass who plays fair Janis: you'd have different bruises to prove otherwise Janis: join her on sick bay 🤕🥴 Jimmy: 😍🤤😍 Jimmy: You've gotta stop flirting with me, girl Janis: you'd know that too Janis: if I were Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: [throws a 🍬 at her in full view of the bitch he stole them off] Janis: [good thing you ain't concerned about making friends/can catch, just smiling at her like cheers babe] Janis: you feeling left out? Janis: you gotta make a girl 😢 now, yeah Jimmy: Gotta give myself a break from that 👄 of yours Janis: shh Janis: don't say that out loud Jimmy: don't screenshot me and the secret's safe Jimmy: or wait until I say something about exercising your jaw for later and then hit post Janis: 😂 Janis: grim Janis: and unlikely humblebrag Jimmy: There, made a lass cry laugh, that'll do Janis: Soph can consider herself safe Janis: and welcome I took the hit Jimmy: 😇 you Jimmy: I remember Janis: someone's gotta Janis: so unappreciated Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: Gimme a sec to find signal enough to tweet it Janis: gotta clue in all your fans that couldn't be here Jimmy: [does do some suitably cringey tweet of course] Janis: 😏 how you still expect to get laid after this holy show is beyond me Jimmy: I don't #duh Jimmy: transferring to that Catholic school as soon as, obviously Janis: they're the worst for it Janis: just say sorry afterward Jimmy: Everyone knows anal don't count, Judith Jimmy: do it for Jesus Janis: 'less it's with another lad, sodomite Jimmy: That'll be why Mr Lucas is my plan B Janis: yeah well, fight yer for him Jimmy: 💪🏆 Go on Janis: [just looking at him like really tho] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [play fight moment] Jimmy: [so flirty, get a room you two, she should win though obvs because he cheated on that race earlier] Janis: time to get some 📿 Janis: 👋😘 Jimmy: You ain't getting shot of me that easy, babe Jimmy: Letting you win 'cause of how unappreciated you feel counts about as much as this counts as talking, like Janis: yeah right, whatever makes you feel better, loser Jimmy: Take your hollow victory 😘 Janis: I can beat you at anything Janis: any time, anywhere Jimmy: when it's #fakeforfake Janis: convenient for you, that Jimmy: nowt about this is Janis: 🎻 Janis: take your 👑 crybaby Jimmy: No tah, I'd have to touch your sister to get it Janis: she is a lot like that dragon in shrek Janis: fair Jimmy: 😂 Janis: she'll find the right donkey one day, I'm sure 💕 Jimmy: could save me a bit in 🚬 if she were blowing smoke about Janis: there's one pro Janis: you never talk so she could blather on as much as she likes Jimmy: I talk, just not to you Janis: and no one else here Janis: least of all her, so still counts, don't fight it Jimmy: I'd have to save all my strength to keep her off me Janis: you really saving yourself for marriage, yeah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: that's a con, damn Janis: really thought I could get rid of her once and for all Jimmy: don't pretend she ain't the 👰💍 type Janis: obvs, but a massive slag, no child of the lord there Janis: allegedly my fathers Jimmy: My ex was a massive slag an' all Jimmy: I'll make it work Janis: great Janis: get on it then Jimmy: 💕 Janis: if you could move again and take her with, that'd be perfect Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: No need to wait that long for your real happy ending then Jimmy: were a bit rude how you've been such a tease about the 💀💀 pact but alright Janis: you'll do yourself in after a few months, max Janis: hmu then Jimmy: as a 👻 Jimmy: least I won't have to touch you and you can't me Janis: weren't planning on it wanker but exactly Janis: everyone gets to win Janis: she's the 🕷⚰ type Janis: love an excuse to cry forever Jimmy: might get her with my dad instead Jimmy: move over mate Janis: and I'm the one who can't follow instructions? 😑 Janis: stick to the plan Jimmy: plans change Jimmy: leave the crying to her Janis: just don't understand why you won't die for me tbh Jimmy: Not as 🧠 as you made out, eh Juliet? 💔 proper tragedy that Janis: it's your fault, you don't stick to your word ever Janis: nothing to do with me Jimmy: Nowt to do with you is right Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: How long is this bollocks gonna go on? I don't need to know how to build a raft Jimmy: or give a fuck if the 🦊 has 🐔 for his tea Janis: how you planning to navigate that sea of 😭 then? Janis: more practical than a maths lesson at any rate Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: you're uninvited for a 🚬 Janis: fine, drama queen Jimmy: in a bit 🤓 Janis: just 'cos you can't keep up Jimmy: just 'cause you're working on commission Jimmy: hmu when you need art for your 'more practical than a maths lesson' poster Janis: that's your thing then Janis: makes sense Janis: had to be one of the two Jimmy: 👍 Janis: at least you won't be bringing out the acoustic around the firepit tonight Janis: small blessings Jimmy: only bring the 🎻🎻 me Janis: ha Janis: cute Jimmy: tweet it if you mean it, girl 💕 Janis: k, if you like Jimmy: I'll give it a like, yeah Janis: not even a retweet, cold Janis: do you want them to buy this or nah Jimmy: can't retweet my own praises Jimmy: wouldn't be #goals Janis: oh right, we're ignoring your giant head Janis: fair 'nuff Jimmy: Nobody likes a bighead, you should know, mate Janis: dunno what you mean Janis: everyone loves me Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you ain't being on my raft team, FYI Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: I know Janis: drown on your own time, I gotta win Jimmy: I'll already be in sick bay after how #savage that jab was Janis: almost as bad at faking it as her Jimmy: you being the only one that reckons so isn't gonna make me 😭 Janis: awh, but everything else does Jimmy: #whensheknowsyouproperwell 💕 Janis: it's true love 💕 Janis: as far as any of these idiots are aware Jimmy: 😍😍😍🤞😍😍 Janis: alright, this is boring now Janis: no one needs this health and safety bullshit Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: wouldn't have 💀💀💀d you to nod when I first said it Jimmy: 'Cause yeah, that'll be why I'm staying here 🚬 tah Janis: you wanna start agreeing on everything now Janis: not pretending we're married Jimmy: Tah again, this time for admitting I'm right about everything Jimmy: I was just talking about the once but alright Janis: you never said it was boring, technically Janis: and I never said that, get lost Jimmy: I might be lost 🤞 Janis: deep Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: geographically, dickhead Janis: how 😂 Jimmy: can't be lost if I know Janis: I mean, this place is not that big Janis: and signposted to fuck, where've you even gone, like Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: v helpful my dear Janis: soz I didn't put a chip in your neck whilst you were gnawing on mine Jimmy: It's alright, I know you can't do owt right, forget two things at once Janis: fuck off Janis: stay lost Jimmy: have done and will do Janis: 👍 Jimmy: haunt you later then Janis: not that long since lunch Janis: you'll survive until one of the teachers finds you Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: I'll pray for Mr Lucas obvs Jimmy: probably get Ms O'Brien Jimmy: actually 💔 Janis: you know he's already in the water Janis: if he could get away with speedos, he would, whereas her turtleneck could not be higher Janis: unlucky Jimmy: 👙 on him and 🥔 sack on her Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 Jimmy: be why you ain't coming to my rescue Janis: 😏 Janis: obviously Janis: fine, hang on Jimmy: it ain't actually in the contract Jimmy: don't bother about me Janis: whatever, won't be hard Janis: then I'll just go back to my room after, peace and quiet Janis: anyway, her still in the sick bay gives me a valid excuse, concerned sister I am Jimmy: text me when you want me to show up Janis: ha, alright Jimmy: least if she's concussed we won't have to put on as convincing a show Janis: one can hope 🤞 Janis: sadly there's fuck all to damage in her head so Jimmy: Sounding like she will be my dad's perfect match 💘 Janis: does that mean you'll start showing up for dinner and xmas Janis: not part of the deal Jimmy: 🙏 they'll rent a cottage together and leave me the fuck out of it Janis: can get behind that Jimmy: #forlifenotjustforchristmas Janis: make it happen @iantaylor8 Jimmy: 'cause that's such a dream come true, I'm going to sleep Jimmy: don't miss me too much Janis: ..outside? Jimmy: If I get eaten by some animal or owt you can have my 🚬s Janis: 💘 Janis: romance aside, at least you'll be easy to find if you're 😴 Jimmy: Keep my snoring off the socials tah Jimmy: not very #goals Janis: but you look so cute baby Jimmy: #duh Jimmy: look cute all the time Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: goodnight, Jenna Jimmy: 😘 Janis: sweet dreams, dickhead Jimmy: just said they were guaranteed Jimmy: can't stop being a 😇 you Janis: not yet 😈 Jimmy: @ everyone who missed my earlier tweet Janis: yeah don't make me sound boring Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: can agree on that Jimmy: if I wanted boring I'd have asked Ms O'Brien to fake date me Janis: 😏 Janis: she could be a secret freak Jimmy: doubt she's bitten any ears off though Janis: missing out? Jimmy: the benchmark has been set Janis: oh please Janis: you loved it Janis: got the job done, didn't it Jimmy: tonight will Janis: yeah Jimmy: Owt off limits? Janis: you love 🍑 stuff, I get it Janis: but nah, I don't care Jimmy: 👴 love me Jimmy: #soznotsoz Janis: if I pretend to be Mr Lucas, it kinda defeats what we're doing here Janis: soz Jimmy: It's alright, I'm more 👵💕 live out your what would Ms O'Brien do fantasies Jimmy: you started strong, like Janis: admitting I do know what I'm doing? Janis: about time Jimmy: Baby please Jimmy: you wish I would Janis: you wish I'd do the other side 👂 Jimmy: Yeah well fed up of this earring #newschoolnewme Janis: 😂 Janis: bye 😎 boy bye Jimmy: Tah for not having braces, you'd be dangerous Janis: if that's your thing you should deffo go catholic and start your religious training asap Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: and your thing is what, going from 🐷 to 🦈 after a few drinks? Janis: pigs have eaten far more humans than sharks ever have, for one, idiot Janis: and two, you only need to fake like you know exactly what I need Jimmy: sounds like fake news that Janis: your favourite word, that Jimmy: you don't need to know my fave word Jimmy: won't be on the test Janis: just the safe word, sure Jimmy: What's it gonna be? Trust fund's two Jimmy: Pony'll work Janis: great, you're a furry Janis: give me strength Jimmy: You don't need to know my kinks either Janis: stop being so obvious then Jimmy: It's obvious you're turned on by 💰 only trying to be accommodating until you secure Mr Lucas' teacher salary 💍💕 Janis: Obviously Janis: hit up some overworked and underpaid nurses whilst I'm at it Jimmy: Get that blood, vampire girl Janis: more fun making you bleed Jimmy: 😍🤤😍 Janis: yeah yeah Jimmy: save the enthusiasm for the #fans that want it Jimmy: I know how much fun I am Janis: I tweeted about you last Janis: it's your turn to tweet about me Janis: if you can pry your hand off your dick for one sec Jimmy: you were last 'cause I always go first Jimmy: pull your weight Janis: not my fault you're premature Janis: well, obvs is but you know Jimmy: If that's the rep you want, Joanne Jimmy: [posts something extra about missing her that's like really hot and a mood] Janis: you care about my rep as much as I do Janis: though that post didn't entirely suck Jimmy: careful, that almost sounded like a real compliment Jimmy: what kind of fake girlfriend would you be Janis: never Janis: [can find him 'cos you know, has to at some point] Jimmy: I get it, you need the IRL inspo of seeing me now it's your turn again Janis: [😑 but sits down with and has to get close to match the mood of his post to take a #reunited pic] Janis: needs must Jimmy: Fake like you know what come here means and do it properly Jimmy: [When you shamelessly just wanna be more extra] Janis: [defs first lap sitting moment needed like don't test me boy] Janis: there Jimmy: [yassss having such a moment bye] Jimmy: and you reckon I need to be a better trainer Janis: stop comparing me to fucking farmyard animals and dogs Janis: [angry face right in his 'cos you ain't moved] Jimmy: Alright, Juliet next post I'll compare you to a summer's day Janis: hilarious Jimmy: necessary if you're gonna keep making that face Jimmy: can't have it sticking Janis: [makes a face like give a fuck] Jimmy: [😏 because she obvs does or why are they doing this ha] Janis: you're so smug Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt babe Janis: unduly Jimmy: How would you know? Janis: [gestures at him like it's obvious] Jimmy: [shrugs because again being a smug dickhead like you don't know me bye] Janis: [pushes on his chest to get up off him] Jimmy: [offers her a 🚬] Janis: [takes it and starts walking but looks back like] Janis: follow me to civilization Jimmy: Why? Janis: because you're lost Janis: and you could be inside right now, undisturbed, for at least another 45 minutes yet Jimmy: Do the maths on that, did you? Jimmy: not sure if I can trust a #hater Janis: oh my god Jimmy: What? Janis: would it 💀💀💀 you to just come Jimmy: Are you trying to? Janis: what are you talking about now Jimmy: Gonna lure me to my death or not? Janis: tempting as you make it Janis: we have 2 of those shit drinks left Janis: unless there's something better we can do out here Jimmy: Help me up then Janis: 👴 Janis: [but does] Jimmy: Oi, you were sitting on me so long I've got a 💀 leg Janis: if that's how shit your stamina is how we gonna fake fuck convincingly Janis: sort it out Jimmy: you ate half my lunch, sort that out Janis: you didn't need it, skiver Janis: only using your voice, I had to actually do the course Jimmy: I had to keep you alive Jimmy: not as hard as your sister makes it look but still a challenge when you Janis: piss off Janis: I could've done that shit alone Jimmy: bollocks Janis: so could Jimmy: go on then, we'll recreate it Janis: [closes her eyes and struts for a bit like see] Jimmy: fuck that we're going to the course Janis: alright Janis: come on then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [we know the drill, when you're being slow af so he's like do it properly and then you go faster and fall, not actually doing any damage but] Jimmy: [shamelessly helping her up even though she don't need it and being actually worried until you can see she's not hurt] Janis: thanks a lot Jimmy: didn't push you over Janis: [when you start to hobble away for the drama of it all] Jimmy: stop, dickhead Janis: [looking like, what?] Jimmy: [goes and helps her obvs] Janis: I could've done it Janis: you were rushing me Jimmy: Yeah, I were Jimmy: on the ⏲ Jimmy: you said 45 mins uninterrupted Janis: you challenged me Janis: we could've just gone inside Jimmy: you challenged you Jimmy: admit you need me Janis: excuse me Jimmy: you heard Janis: I heard some dumb shit Jimmy: [walks away but not far just to make the point cos she was leaning on him then] Janis: [😑] Janis: stop being a twat Jimmy: you Janis: you Janis: immature Jimmy: I'm a lad, we do it slower Janis: no excuse for acting like a kid is it Janis: [is less 😑 though] Jimmy: What's yours, I'll borrow that Janis: I'm injured, bastard Jimmy: You've been a knobhead since before I got here Janis: and how the fuck would you know thay Jimmy: I've heard some dumb shit an' all Jimmy: I told you, I ain't that new Janis: Exactly Janis: how would you know Janis: [walks off faster now, with as little hobbling as poss.] Jimmy: [stops her so he can try and help her again because not that rude] Janis: I don't need your help Jimmy: I don't need to offer but I am Janis: I'm meant to be grateful, yeah? Janis: do one Jimmy: [shakes his head because no and no and is helping her whether she likes it or not] Janis: fine, white knight 'til we're back but then leave me alone Jimmy: [picks her up cos that's permission right there, if you say so boy #problematic and sure if anyone sees them it'll look #goals] Janis: [when you ain't speaking so you don't say no] Jimmy: [casual walk back in silence, obvs he gently puts her on her bed and leaves] Jimmy: [definitely takes a bottle out of the two that are left cos his share even though it's not gonna do fuck all] Janis: [when you're definitely like cheek but not gonna break your vow of silence to argue about that like] Jimmy: [okay so my idea is, he shows up later, knocking on the door which Grace answers so he knows she's there cos this is only gonna work if she was and sweeps in full of apologies like I'm so sorry you got hurt cos of me babe etc (which would kill Grace cos that boy ain't sorry and that's the tea) but critically there is some real sorry if there hidden for him being an actual dickhead, like. Even though we can pretend it's for Grace's benefit everything he's saying and why she has to accept and get back on this fake train] Janis: [good thinking my nugget] Jimmy: [he ain't that good of an actor and anyway he'd make sure she can see he's actually sorry too] Janis: [lbr she's too closed off to want to talk about it so she's gonna take it for what it is, even if this puts them back 10 paces, that's the vibe always] Jimmy: [gotta throw yourself fully into this pantomime so it don't get too real kids, really milking that injury and his nurse role] Janis: [truly, give them an oscar] Jimmy: [nobody give Grace one, cos we all see you] Janis: [when her friends are probably low-key over nursing her now like quit before they bitching to mia about you gurl] Jimmy: [literally that though, she'd have to have given it up which makes it ruder that Jimothy then shows up to do it for Janis] Janis: [oh this poor boy she's gonna be feeling murderous at now] Jimmy: [plus you know Jimmy would be being so hot about everything like 'oh does this hurt, what about this' as a shameless reason to touch up her entire leg] Janis: [just umming and ahhing like you're not sure so he has to keep doing it lmao okay] Jimmy: [Grace's friends just 👀🍿 while they're doing their make up or whatever] Janis: [welcome for tonight's entertainment ladies, be sure to tell the whole world, being that bitch by asking him to get you something like water and then being like 'don't go' 'cos they'd love that] Jimmy: [he should totally get his hoodie for her too which she still has #duh and put it on for her like she's an actual invalid] Janis: [get on the invaleed couch honey] Jimmy: [please say she's wearing the pjs rn for that throwback and mood] Janis: [of course, 'cos bitch actually does the activities so her clothes would be muddy, as if you weren't jello enough ladies like put that perf body away] Jimmy: [this is why as much as Grace wants to share a room she also doesn't because be more beautiful Janis goddamn] Janis: [cuts her hair off in her sleep or smothers her with a pillow] Jimmy: [also he should be ignoring his phone going off (we know its because fuck you Ian) because what would be more goals to Grace and her friends than full attention] Janis: [100%, though she should pick it up (when it ain't ringing like lol) and just go on it 'cos trust with the passcode too omg] Jimmy: [and bonus points that it adds to his new boy mystery like why is he so in demand] Janis: [god bless, when you'd be trying so hard not to lol at them at so many points] Jimmy: [literally do give them an oscar cos I could not] Janis: [kick it up a notch by being like 'you know what would make me feel better' 'cos it's a power move when the girl says it, nick from the act] Jimmy: [yaaaaaaaaas] Janis: [like we said though, actually have to make out 'cos no faking that part] Jimmy: [good thing they've got real chemistry] Jimmy: [just a really epic make out sesh for everyone to enjoy and Grace is like NOPE g2g] Janis: [facetimeing mia rn 'cos they think you too busy to notice and lbr, a bitch would screen record she creepy lmao] Jimmy: [Grace just stomping around fuming getting ready really quick by her standards meanwhile this is the hardest JJ have had to go, don't think about it] Janis: [oh babe you know they ain't gonna stop, meanwhile janis just freaking 'cos she ain't ever been arsed before and it feels good so whoops] Jimmy: [literally no acting going on from him here he's just fully into it cos no need to hold back unlike with the lovebite situ when you can pretend its all for that lot, any sounds you make or things you do] Jimmy: [taking that hoodie off her again like] Janis: [when an audience means you can do more, what is this time period, god bless] Jimmy: [it's my fave for a reason cos who else would even do this never mind take it this far] Janis: [just going for the other ear like she said she would] Jimmy: [at least he doesn't have to act like he's not into it/she's bad at it this time cos barely got away with that the first time] Janis: [there's no hiding it rn, deny it later lads] Jimmy: [that said he'd still have to whisper some kind of pisstake in her ear about it just so she can't be too smug later] Janis: [naturally, can't be too real with it] Jimmy: [loses some of the sass when you're breathless as hell trying to say it though so] Janis: [so you just 😏 now like heh] Jimmy: [just gotta pull her hair so you can pull her into you and a kiss to wipe that smugness off her face like nbd so casual rn] Janis: [when that kiss would be so aggressive bye] Jimmy: [it makes me die because Grace would NEVER let anyone touch her hair, not even the fam and especially not a boy it's like her number 1 THING so she can see that and it can be her cue to slam that door and go honey] Janis: [you should probably leave shameless friends like there's no reason for you to be in here now lmao] Jimmy: [them just hurrying off after her so gutted they gotta leave meanwhile JJ are gonna be gutted that they have to stop] Janis: [soz lads, purely for your audience, remember, at least he can't leave 'cos that'd look so rude like bye we done] Jimmy: [and you know her friends would be loitering lowkey cos Grace is in no mood to be followed and would sister snap so there's the excuse they don't need] Janis: [exactly, you gotta stick it out 'til a teacher finds you and kicks you out tbh] Jimmy: [Jimmy just aggressively drinking that water he got for her #thirstybitch so he don't have to look at her or say anything] Jimmy: [lowkey shady sir like lemme get the taste of you out of my mouth] Janis: [when you get up to look in the mirror like you're remotely arsed what you look like but really you're just assessing love bite damage] Jimmy: [pissing about with the bed once she's off it unscrewing something or whatever so they can pretend they broke it] Janis: [does the 'not bad' face] Jimmy: [shrugs and goes on his phone to check in with both Bobby and Cass] Janis: [wrapping her ankle with some tape she'd probably have brought 'cos sporty bitch not 'cos it's needed but for the look of] Jimmy: [does the face back at her cos good idea and gestures for her to go to the door and listen if Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum are being that extra or if they've gone] Janis: [hops over, again not 'cos she needs too but #bants and has a serious listening face on] Jimmy: [tries not to lol for what must be the millionth time honestly] Janis: [gestures for him to come over and nods like they're there but I have a plan] Jimmy: [comes over of course] Janis: [pushes him into the door and starts faking noises like you do the same keep up 'cos that'll shake them to their core but also show 'em that they're still going at it, like] Jimmy: [does as he's told this once] Janis: [least they wouldn't have to do that long 'cos they'd bolt because could not not lol out loud at that] Jimmy: [goes through Grace's drawers, finds her condom stash, opens one and ditches it but leaves the wrapper when it can obvs be seen at the top of the bin] Janis: [when you make a face that's like ew but fair] Jimmy: [🙄 but playfully cos not like you're living for this bit either] Janis: ['could've just pulled out, amateur' but whispering 'cos don't wanna be too loud unless for the right reasons yet] Jimmy: that the fave 🍀 method then? Janis: pretty much Jimmy: bit soon for a fake pregnancy scare Jimmy: and I obvs couldn't 'cause I want you so much 💕 Janis: obvs Janis: c'est la vie, just wanted the trip to Liverpool, like Jimmy: how many of these shall I do? Jimmy: [gestures to the wrapper like] Jimmy: don't wanna have to throw your sister on a ferry or under a bus Janis: [goes over to look how many there are and chucks out two more, opening one] Janis: she'd be buzzin' Janis: know she's the type Jimmy: My ex has got one she's bound to be regretting by now if she's that desperate, like Janis: [looks at the condom then him then down like awks] Jimmy: Piss off, it ain't mine Janis: [when you literally breathe out like phew] Janis: Jesus, lead with that Jimmy: [throws whatever stuffed toy Grace still sleeps with at her] Janis: [clutches the bear to her chest like 😲 faux outrage] Janis: how dare you treat Tuffie like that Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 Jimmy: be our secret, yeah? Janis: good thing you ain't a dad Janis: [throws the thing at him] Jimmy: raising two kids, only not with her Jimmy: [throws it back] Janis: [just playing catch at this point, obvs doesn't think he's got two kids like that so is like okay] Janis: explains why you're so knackered Janis: that and all the wild fake sex Jimmy: that'll do it Jimmy: [sits on Grace's bed and starts doodling on the back of his hand with her eyebrow pencil or whatever] Janis: those things are like 20 quid a pop Janis: [is clearly amused by this not mad, goes over to the window to open it and get some air] Jimmy: better start paying me then Jimmy: [does the good idea face again though cos letting that non existent sex smell out] Janis: you weren't fake that good and I'm not fake that desperate Jimmy: [😏 cos yeah he was] Janis: [kicks her bed so he wobbles] Jimmy: [is like OI cos of course his doodle smudges cos he's left handed anyway] Janis: [shrugs like you know what you did but goes over to the mirror where the makeup has been left, finds him the wipes and gets a lipstick and puts it on] Jimmy: [shrugs back cos not actually bothered also actually ambidextrous anyway so you choose to use that hand boy and we all see you shamelessly looking at her as well] Janis: ['hold still' and then covering his face/neck area with lipstick kisses quickly then smudging them with her fingers so they're faded] Janis: evidence Jimmy: you weren't wearing it before Jimmy: don't say much for me if you stopped mid go to put it on Janis: weren't my face they were looking at, new boy Janis: 😍 Janis: trust Jimmy: when it was attached to mine they were Janis: it's only a nude, not fuck off red Janis: wipe it off if you reckon though Jimmy: not my area of expertise tbh mate Janis: 🙄 Janis: then hush Jimmy: til you want me to get loud again sure Janis: they shouldn't come back now Janis: hopefully they have some life, like Janis: unlikely though it seems Jimmy: What about Grace? Meant to sleep here Janis: I'm hoping she's Ophelia'd herself in the lake Janis: probably go in with them now, idk Jimmy: If she's beat us to the 💀 pact, I'm 💔 Janis: gotta get the attention back somehow Jimmy: 🤞 Jimmy: [leans out of the open window to 🚬 cos can't leave yet] Janis: purely post-coital, obviously Jimmy: you should have one an' all then Janis: [puts fingers up like 'three' but smiles like jk] Janis: go on then Jimmy: [obviously lights her up cos a princess can never fuck opening your own doors @ nick in the act this is the real #goals] Janis: [cheers motion, also it's clearly a small window/small room in general so they'd have to be close rn] Jimmy: [my thoughts exactly, so much of your bodies touching casually] Janis: [when you'd be so aware of it after dry humping each other for however long there] Jimmy: [literally though and she did not have many clothes on at all so] Janis: [still don't rn like hi] Jimmy: [when you remember because you're brushing up against so much of her bare skin so you fetch the hoodie again like a dutiful bf even though nobody's watching] Jimmy: [making her hold your 🚬 while you get it] Janis: [puts it on 'cos lbr you both need another layer between you rn] Jimmy: [lifts her hair out of it for her unthinkingly, how intimate excuse you boy] Janis: [just freezes casually like] Jimmy: [when you just take a step back like] Janis: [just goes and sits on Grace's bed to finish it 'cos whaddya care tbh so unphased by all of this] Jimmy: [he'll be here unmoving like musical statues nbd] Janis: [on her phone seeing if any of the goss has ended up there yet 'cos invariably will, sends him a gossipy ass post with '😂 #missionaccomplished?' Jimmy: 👍 Janis: guess you can go now then Janis: do you reckon Jimmy: [his phone is going off again too but it's just the fam so ignoring for rn] Jimmy: Alright Janis: unless you wanna try to sleep Janis: clearly the teachers are too pissed to be clued in right now Jimmy: [fixes her bed and lies on it] Jimmy: remind me to break it again Janis: will do Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: [closes his eyes but nobody falls asleep that fast and we all know it] Janis: [quietly like 'night' and turning the big light off and putting on a lamp by the bottom bunk as if this is such a casual situation] Janis: don't freak if I have to hop up there if Grace comes back, yeah Jimmy: [when the pillow obvs smells like her cos its hers and you're just lying there like mistakes have been made before the thought of having to lie with her has even crossed your mind] Jimmy: even if I do, I'll fake I ain't Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: that's the spirit Jimmy: 👻 me Janis: [little lol] Janis: lucky for you casper, I don't sleep, so she won't reckon you've kicked me out my own bed or nothing Jimmy: I know you're a vampire already, don't need to convince me, girl Janis: no neck biting Janis: scout's honour Jimmy: Saving it for the bus back, I get it, why wouldn't you? Janis: my parting gift to you, babe Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: well romantic that is Janis: ain't it just Janis: beats whatever the shit giftshop has got on offer Jimmy: So cute you Janis: bullshit am I Jimmy: I'll steal you a pen or fridge magnet, make you believe me Janis: 🧸 obviously needs a friend Janis: cute enough for ya Jimmy: Depends Janis: on? Jimmy: 🐷 🦈 or 🐴? Janis: 😑 Janis: really Jimmy: alright 🧸 if you wanna twin with Grace that bad Janis: fuck off or I'm breaking the bed whilst you're still in it Jimmy: just don't kick it Jimmy: might get more than fake injured Janis: thanks for the fake concern Jimmy: hot as that bandage is, like Janis: vampire, not a mummy, got it Janis: fucking halloween up in here Jimmy: what you wanna be the easter bunny or? Janis: that's the cliche hot option, ain't it Jimmy: give us some 🍫 then Jimmy: she must have it hidden somewhere Janis: you just lay there whilst I look, your highness Janis: [but is] Jimmy: could've asked you to make me a sandwich Janis: you want me to smack you that badly, just ask Janis: [finds some 'cos obvs knows her and throws it up] Jimmy: 🤤😍 etc Janis: I felt that, so convincing Jimmy: I know you can feel every bruise, babe Jimmy: that job's done with Janis: thank god Janis: 😷 Jimmy: 💔 etc Janis: go to sleep, dickhead Jimmy: [as if on cue Bobby's blowing his phone up cos can't] Janis: can get that, like Janis: got 🎧 and not bothered what you're chatting about Janis: sounds important Jimmy: I'm tired Jimmy: [but obvs does because has to] Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [casually the longest convo ever, poor bab] Janis: [doesn't listen 'cos ain't that bitch but does take 'em off for a sec to see if he's done but is like oh when he ain't] Jimmy: [why you gotta be so shit Ian it was your idea he went] Janis: [when you can't get your own kid to sleep like] Jimmy: [when you don't try cos you're the shut the door on him type aka my mum lol] Janis: [goes out for a wee, get a drink etc so he doesn't feel rushed or like she would be listening] Jimmy: [when you're done but then can't sleep cos mad at your dad so 🚬 at the window again] Janis: [has brought him a drink too so when she sees he's up puts it on the window sill for him but doesn't speak 'cos can read the room well enough] Jimmy: [staring out the window furiously excuse him] Janis: [a look she knows personally so not going to be up in his face, just gets back on Grace's bed] Jimmy: let's go Janis: okay Janis: anywhere, yeah? Jimmy: [downs the drink she brought him to show it's appreciated thank you bae] Jimmy: Teacher's block first, that's the real holy show Janis: [raises her eyebrows like what you got planned but nods 'cos regardless, swapping her shorts for joggers before they go like] Jimmy: were gonna say put some clothes on Jimmy: don't tell anyone though Janis: [mimes zipping her lips] Jimmy: so many secrets, I know Jimmy: [touches the OG lovebite] Janis: [opens the door with a flourish like lead the way 'cos can't dwell on that/make it a moment] Jimmy: [walks through but then remembers what she said about halloween and runs back to take all the toilet paper he can find like a little nerd] Janis: [😏 wid it, helps] Jimmy: 🎃🧛👻 Janis: [a bit of lowkey mindless vandalism will help take your mind off it] Janis: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: 🤞 🐰 girl Jimmy: [that and spying on the teachers in general would be fun for that hot goss] Janis: I won't hop, if it's all the same to you Janis: [deffo, we know they're schwasted] Jimmy: what kind of fake injury Jimmy: you gotta commit, Jules Janis: the idea is, no one sees us Janis: if we get caught I'll fall dramatically into your arms, yeah Jimmy: No need Jimmy: [picks her up like he did earlier but with a very different vibe we know] Janis: ['this is committing, yeah'] Jimmy: [a look] Janis: [looking back like half challenge half like what's up before tapping his back like let's go] Jimmy: [boy we get that you wanna be distracted by her specifically in a specific way but please calm down] Janis: [can't let you do that yet lads] Jimmy: [on you go to annoy the teachers and spy] Janis: [at least that'd be amusing af] Jimmy: [before they go back they should see Grace leaving that lad's room but obvs she don't see them] Janis: [😒] Jimmy: [gives her a ? look cos maybe he was focused on teacher drama still] Janis: [shakes her head and starts walking not in the direction of the rooms] Janis: got any 🚬 left Jimmy: [obvs does and obvs lights one for her and then himself] Janis: [heading outside and to a bench to smoke in silence] Jimmy: [sits near but not close] Janis: ['just gutted we didn't learn O'Brien's a dark horse, like'] Jimmy: ['she ain't no lightweight, next time'll be the one, heard it's France'] Janis: ['next time then'] Jimmy: ['it's a date'] Janis: ['ain't gonna be dead by then?'] Jimmy: ['Depends'] Janis: [nods like I feel you] Jimmy: ['Taking that as your personal guarantee the poison you got is stronger than the shit they're drinking, don't let me down, rich girl'] Janis: ['it's lethal, trust me' and a look] Jimmy: [nods like good] Janis: ['you should go in, get some sleep at last'] Jimmy: [nods again but doesn't move] Janis: ['want me to return the favour and carry you?'] Jimmy: [😏 'on that proper dodgy ankle, no way baby' and playfully nudges it with his own foot 'sleep on the bus with you as my pillow, tah'] Janis: [shakes her head but is 😏 back 'well soz my tits aren't bigger then'] Jimmy: ['me an' all, would make this shit easier to fake'] Janis: ['you're such a cunt'] Jimmy: [gives her a well I'm soz about that then sarcastic look] Janis: [kicks him but not hard as she gets up 'later then'] Jimmy: [is all oi as per but not really ever mad] Janis: [shrugs like what you gonna do about it and goes off in the direction of a trail to do a casual run at whatever late o'clock this is] Jimmy: proper miss you already 💕 Janis: beam it into the night sky, batman Janis: I already know Jimmy: hang on, trying to do a 😳🐷 Jimmy: you see it yet? Janis: you're meant to be an artist Janis: sort it out Jimmy: never said I were Janis: you did Jimmy: that were you Jimmy: I reckoned I could sort you a poster Jimmy: so could my little brother Janis: good enough Janis: get to work Jimmy: very inspiring you Janis: soz I don't look more like a pig Janis: you who keeps on saying it Jimmy: it's you who keeps going pink Jimmy: soz I didn't have a hoodie in that colour Janis: erm not even once Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 😑 Jimmy: You coming to bed or what? Janis: I can't be in the same room as her right now Jimmy: be in mine then Janis: alright Janis: cheers Jimmy: Alright, come on Janis: just gotta circle back Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: such an athlete, I know Janis: I never said that either Janis: but yeah, I won't deny it Jimmy: Don't have to, still got my 👀 Jimmy: not fully closed or owt yet Janis: Impressive Jimmy: can't deny it Janis: 🙄 Janis: [showing up 'cos wouldn't have got too far] Jimmy: [just quietly like 'hey'] Janis: [lil awkward laugh like 'alright'] Jimmy: [and it's back to walking in silence] Janis: [when you don't know if he's giving you his bed or you're about to get in together so you're mentally preparing yourself for either] Jimmy: [when you know you're gonna share (can blame Ollie's presence but we know the truth and that he's sleeping) so preparing yourself for that since you didn't think it through before you said it] Janis: [styling it out like you're way more confident than you are 'cos can be part of the act, hence she'd take her joggers and the hoodie off casually 'cos wouldn't sleep that clothed but waits for him to get in first like your bed] Jimmy: [we all see you taking your top off boy even though there's no need] Janis: [👀 when you looking but try to be subtle please] Jimmy: [she's earned that right tbh he's seen and touched so much of her by now] Janis: [fair] Jimmy: [in you get kids for your single bed forced closeness] Janis: [get used to it tbh, at least he's clearly tired af so can at least pretend he's sleeping even if he ain't] Jimmy: [they are both too tall for this to be comfy you'd literally have to be all over each other] Janis: [again, no denying you're into it, just have to stay quiet if you wanna pretend lads] Jimmy: [the realest] Jimmy: [and don't move too much, don't need to get betrayed by your boy parts there Jimothy] Janis: [as amusing as that would be for us, don't need you to die of shame] Jimmy: [🐘 in the room now and definitely earlier because there is no way you could do all that shit and not] Janis: [she'd be like, don't take it personally, that shit just happens but it doesn't just happen if you're not into it at all, like] Jimmy: [mhmm as much as his internal monologue be like well I can't help that we all know if it was Grace or whoever you wouldn't be feeling it so bye] Janis: [#tea] Jimmy: [if it was Mia it'd go back inside his body] Janis: [lmao you wouldn't know she was in the bed with you tbh] Jimmy: [don't ever wanna think about her hooking up with anyone my god] Janis: [amazing it happens so much] Jimmy: [just gonna think about JJ having a spoon instead thank you] Janis: [indeed, much nicer] Jimmy: [at least he is tired enough to fall asleep eventually because that'd feel like the longest night ever if not] Janis: [let her have some too or rude for likewise] Jimmy: [pray you don't dream about earlier either of you] Janis: [hope neither of you sleep talk] Jimmy: [can't be that cruel omg] Janis: [awks when ollie wakes up like hi] Jimmy: [you gotta run girl, really hit him in those abandonment issues when wakes up] Janis: [see you on the bus] Jimmy: [#awks] Janis: [gotta sit next to each other though, at least faking it for the fans will break the ice] Jimmy: [least there's only so much coupleyness you can do there if you're not making out, no need to go as hard] Janis: [mainly the aforementioned snuggling] Jimmy: [first time he ever plays with her hair in a soft way which will forever be his future fave] Janis: [just imagined grace from her seat like 😒] Jimmy: [honestly, probably crying on the low because contrary to popular belief she is capable of subtlety when needed to protect herself like that] Janis: [but we must know, did he go to the giftshop] Jimmy: [he had to steal her a teddy of some sort or I swear to god] Janis: [she can take a selfie with that then] Jimmy: [probably the kind of crap sort that have a t-shirt on of the place but he didn't spend money on it so] Janis: [it's the #brag that counts, they'd be jel] Jimmy: [exactly and it's points for him with her cos he stole it like he said he would and didn't get caught or anything cringe] Janis: [exactly dr phil dem sneaky feels] Jimmy: [and the reminder of this trip when she thinks its all she's gonna get] Janis: [lmao what a headfuck like you're just gonna pretend you don't know each other now okay lads] Jimmy: [in what world also everyone would be like UM what] Jimmy: [I love how they haven't discussed it once] Janis: [ridiculous] Jimmy: [it's the best thing likewise how nobody's gonna think she's gay after those bedroom antics so there's no reason for her to agree to anymore but she do] Janis: [be more blatant with your flimsy reasoning guys] Jimmy: [you silly eggs] Janis: thank fuck it's the holidays Jimmy: 🙌 Janis: 💃 Jimmy: 🍾 Janis: 👙🕶 Jimmy: 😎 forever obvs but 🎊 that you can't take the piss about it Janis: every ☁ Jimmy: ⛅ Janis: just remember to sign off with a post about how you'll miss me though Jimmy: it's drafted Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: I get it, your 👅 is tied around me, babe Jimmy: lemme write it for you Janis: trust falls were yesterday Janis: what are you actually gonna write Jimmy: refresh my feed in a bit Jimmy: it'll be there Janis: shifty Jimmy: I ain't forgot how easily you scare Jimmy: it'll be alright Janis: piss off Jimmy: yeah, in a bit Jimmy: hang on in there Janis: do my best Janis: feel 💀 approaching though Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: bit rude Jimmy: bit rude to outlive me when we made a pact Janis: I'm more of a shootout with the law kinda girl Janis: what can I say Jimmy: nowt 'cause you should've said before Janis: don't remember signing nothing Janis: in blood or otherwise Jimmy: 💀💌 got a massive J scrawled on it, my dear Janis: [😏] Janis: fine Janis: see you at the funeral, beloved Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: Your sister keeps staring at me Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: [such a GOOD long kiss that's no less intense than any of their others but softer and therefore easier for him to say is 1000% fake cos she don't know what a #softboy he is yet] Janis: [you know the bus would wheyyy 'cos nowhere to hide so even if you're caught off guard you've gotta play into it yeah] Janis: surprised she can see fuck all Janis: 😭 Jimmy: thought you were gonna say you blinded her Jimmy: save all your maiming for me, eh 💕 Janis: 'course Janis: doesn't get that biblical Janis: my brother's deaf but that's fuck all to do with me alright Jimmy: sounds fake but alright Jimmy: [😏] Janis: ['wipes it off his face with her hands then cups his chin you know what I mean ott cutesy] Janis: rude Jimmy: [giving her those OTT 😍 so fake mhmm] Jimmy: Teach me some sign language then Janis: [says something along the lines of 'I'm gonna maim you' I hope Grace isn't looking that hard, just like excuse me, teaching him swear obvs 'cos first thing anyone does lol] Jimmy: [just having a lovely time learning and loling its fine Grace will be blinded by her tears after that cute kiss] Janis: [when you forget you're putting on a show but this is a mood anyway so it's fine] Jimmy: [literally though, love that for them] Janis: [even the teachers can't be mad 'cos you know they'd be like ooh they know sign language teach everyone 'cos it looks good on them] Jimmy: [Grace is the only one fuming honey, texting Mia like] Janis: [that snek, just gonna keep that 'i fucked your brother' 'til it really hurts] Jimmy: [she's the literal worst and Pablo is too hot for you, girl] Janis: [what a time] Jimmy: [is there anything else we want to happen, besides a dramatic hug goodbye at the end obvs] Janis: [and taking off his hoodie to give back] Jimmy: [but he's like no, boy don't be giving your clothes away she's richer than you] Janis: cute bit Janis: I'll drop it off somewhere covert, like Jimmy: You'll have stretched it Janis: please Janis: you stupid Jimmy: Take the closest thing to a tit compliment you're getting off me and leave it out Janis: 🙄 Janis: you're alright, thanks Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: make sure you tweet that out 💕 so sweet to me, you Janis: you said you drafted it Janis: ugh Jimmy: My bit, yeah Jimmy: [but also sends out that pic she took of herself in the hoodie way back when remember with a post about how he's letting her keep it cos it looks better on her etc] Jimmy: that ain't it though Janis: guess I'll have to put my thinking cap on Jimmy: if you can find one to fit your big head once all the comments, likes and DMs flood in] Janis: nope, I'll take this fame and run with it Janis: all I ever wanted, obvs Jimmy: #duh Jimmy: 🥇🏆💪 you Jimmy: 🤩 me Janis: you'll always be my no.1 fan, babe Janis: 😘 Jimmy: Babe OMG 😭💕😘 Janis: I know, so sweet Janis: 😇 you might say Jimmy: You would Jimmy: I'd go 😈 Jimmy: [a LOOK] Janis: You really want one last 😳 for the road, yeah? Jimmy: You'll always be my 😳🐷, girl Janis: Wow 😭💕😘 Jimmy: I know, Shakespeare's #quaking Janis: yeah, well known pussy destroyer, old bill Jimmy: [laughs] Janis: [😏] Jimmy: [showing her how extra everyone is being on that post obvs] Janis: [between an eyeroll and vaguely smug 'cos it's worked but people are cray] Jimmy: [gives her his phone so she can do replies if she wants, enjoy seeing that trust again peeps] Janis: [when you get to be a funny bitch, hands him hers like there's Mia say hi] Jimmy: [obvs does and it would obvs also be hilarious, he'd probably literally facetime her rn like oh hey cos doesn't give a fuck] Janis: [don't get feeling special, babe] Jimmy: [when he's a better mean girl than Mia bye] Janis: [cackling] Jimmy: [If you weren't into him before Janis, you will be now] Janis: she's such a cunt Janis: wish I coulda seen her tryna haul ass up a rock wall though Jimmy: we can 💀💀 her when we get back Jimmy: I'll put my thinking cap on Janis: could blow on her and she'd go tbh Janis: that was ON, btw, don't get ideas Jimmy: I did read it as let her blow me Jimmy: not that ride or die for you, mate Janis: her teeth are probs false so it'd be a good time Janis: 👵 Jimmy: Alright, I'm in Jimmy: [sends a pic of Norman Bates' dead mum in the OG psycho you know the one] Jimmy: Just my type that Janis: why stop at a beej Janis: dress her up and take her for a spin 'round your room, like Jimmy: It's a date Janis: that's why you 😎 huh Janis: psycho eyes Janis: no faking emotion Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: don't forget my crows feet Jimmy: It's alright though I reckon I look decent for 45 Janis: too cocky for a predator, honestly Janis: 🙄 Janis: got the receipts and everything, boy Janis: man, whatever Jimmy: If you hear sirens, they're for me Jimmy: Calm Mr Lucas down however you like Janis: awh, you wanted to start a ⚪ Janis: that's cute Jimmy: still time or? Janis: he's only got 👀 for me and it's very fucking rude to suggest otherwise Jimmy: Is that what he told you? #awks Janis: shut up Janis: shit stirrer Jimmy: I'm not talking Janis: tryna break me and my mans up Janis: got a taste for it, like Janis: fuck 👻 boy, you're a monster Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: holiday flings been fun and all but he's dependable Janis: penciled in every Wednesday, last period, like Janis: 😍😍😍 #getyouamans Jimmy: the point were I don't want one Jimmy: 🙏 only Janis: the ultimate Man Janis: I get it Janis: 😇 repent, bitch Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: soon be time to be a 😈 and 💔 me Janis: that's the storyline, yeah? Jimmy: Got a better one? Janis: Nah, just wondering Janis: cool, I'll find a willing participant then Jimmy: 👌 Janis: [scrolling through the post 'cos lads be horny on main] Jimmy: [when you're so 😒 but you can't let it show] Janis: [dw this plan lasts like 10 secs you thirsty hoes] Jimmy: [don't even go into how triggered he'd be cos how much his ex cheated bye] Janis: [exactly dr phil it doesn't happen for all the reasons and we know it] Jimmy: [boy just shut down over here nbd nothing to see people] Janis: [when you notice but you're not gonna bring that up but you put the phone down like k and go back to chillin'] Jimmy: [meanwhile he's just texting Cass on the way back from her trip, distracting himself with big brother duties, like] Janis: [when usually you get picked up from school after a trip but you know ian ain't coming honey] Jimmy: [literally, he will have to go himself so fingers crossed they get back earlier than her trip does] Janis: [least they at the same school and live near it but still, also janis and grace in charming moods so welcome home! lmao] Jimmy: [Caleb chatting away in the car in portugese god bless] Janis: [when ain't no one talking to you, janis probably didn't wanna get in like oh lads] Jimmy: [break my heart all of y'all, Grace only speaks to be like drop me at Mia's] Janis: [aren't you so glad you had 10 kids looool] Jimmy: [truly]

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: Already miss the cave babe Ali: but seriously, was the best, hope you enjoyed your break Ali: Where you @ I'm bored Ali: Yo, you good Carls? Ali: ??? 💚 Ali: [to the now] Ali: Don't wanna go OTT if you're just chillin' but ain't seen you about either so Ali: are you alright or do I need to kick down your door Ali: cool if your avoiding me in particular though, just let a bitch know and I'll take off me boots Carly: sorry baby Carly: my bad Ali: thank fuck, that was weird Ali: sup? Carly: i kno Carly: for me too Carly: a headwreck Carly: my ma & da came home and i wasnt so they freaked had the site out looking when i wasnt around & about to go to the garda cuz i could be dead like Carly: they do their discipline old school when they cba Ali: oh shit Ali: fuck, we should've left a note Ali: i didn't think Carly: didnt care Carly: theyre not normally checking where i go Carly: cept this once Ali: i mean, basically Ali: never been an issue before Ali: they must've been scared though, voluntarily talking to the garda ain't no thing, like Ali: puts a bit of a downer on how ace it was 😕 Carly: dont be sad baby Carly: they didnt get that far Carly: not that important ha Carly: camping was tho Ali: as long as you're sure Ali: not in the plan to get you in deep shit Ali: yeah Ali: do it again sometime, long as we let bitches know, obvs Carly: its not that deep Carly: im just lying on the grass cuz furthest im allowed Carly: so weird Carly: i miss you Ali: that's mental Ali: when's the last time they grounded you, like? Ali: i miss you too, loads Ali: can i come round or will i be chased away Carly: when i ate some fancy soap of my mas cuz i was food shaped idk Carly: gonna walk off now ive got my phone back they can ring me if they lose their minds again Carly: wheres you? Ali: aww you cute Ali: just finishing up my shift Carly: aw youre the cute one Carly: making that uniform look hot Ali: someone had to try Ali: good an excuse as any, gotta check me out whilst i'm still in it Carly: yea cuz i dont want you in it for long Ali: smooth babe 😉 Ali: and i'll take you up on that 'cos I'm roasting, like Carly: and cuz you miss me Ali: that too Carly: 💙 Ali: aside from your possible kidnap/death, what site drama have I missed? Carly: none Carly: so bored Carly: going crazy here Ali: ugh Ali: letting us down, people Carly: the talk is all on me Carly: fun Ali: can't blame 'em Ali: been on my mind too Carly: aw Carly: what fun you had w out me tho Ali: ah loads Ali: while the wife's away, like Carly: 😢 Ali: can't even fake make you sad Ali: been doing stuff at home mostly, with ro or music or art shit Ali: nothing wild, don't worry Carly: you can sing to me Carly: or paint me Carly: now im back Ali: i can Ali: or paint on you Ali: that's always fun Carly: yea Carly: love it Carly: what do you wanna Ali: see where the inspiration takes me Carly: me too Carly: not artsy but many other talents like Ali: i know Ali: better than you give yourself credit, in all the ways Carly: dont i miss you too much already Carly: being so sweet to me Ali: good Ali: cos i did too and i'm gonna show you Carly: yea? Carly: where Ali: where am i gonna show you? in the world or on you like Carly: ha like we cant be here or my ma will be eyeballing Carly: i kno you gonna show me everything everywhere baby Ali: hm not the ideal audience Ali: idc we'll find somewhere Carly: yours? Carly: we can pitch the tent back up so the holiday never ends Ali: good idea babe Ali: got a padlock, keep the kid out Carly: ha good idea too babe Carly: if we thought my ma wasnt ideal like Ali: 😬 Ali: one way to learn the birds n bees Ali: sure the fam will distract him, don't need him being more fucked up from trauma Carly: tell your sister Carly: shes had her turn w you to herself only fair Ali: don't think she'll be pouting at not being included Carly: ha Carly: shes not as cute as you but k if you want boo Ali: don't be nasty 😂 Carly: jk Carly: you kno me and sharing Ali: all yours for tonight boo Carly: thats how i want it Carly: been just me & my thoughts for so long Carly: thinking i dreamt hols like Ali: oh baby Ali: all real, got the tan and polaroids to prove it Carly: yea Carly: worth my parents kicking off Ali: gotta agree Ali: this is gonna be the best summer ever Carly: i kno Carly: omw to show you how itll be Ali: 😚 Carly: am i gonna have to hop over the fence or wtf Carly: not trying to chat to the inlaws Ali: Da's at work and Ma's doing the big shop Ali: you're sweet Carly: k cuz wanna save my energy for you like Carly: & yea i am Carly: youll see how sweet Ali: can't stop now lads Ali: yeah i will Carly: not gonna idc if my parents end up putting out a fullscale alert Carly: i need to be w my baby Ali: like, they going so hard with the idea that we're gal pals that they ain't gonna put 2 n 2 together Ali: sleepover at mine baby Carly: well straight i am Ali: yep Ali: 🍝 Carly: ?? Ali: You're a spaghetti girl Ali: straight until you get wet Carly: thats a real thing? Carly: did you just make it up Ali: not my original concept but you can claim it if you're feeling it Carly: 🍨🍬🍩🍪🍭 Carly: you Ali: too precious for words Carly: we dont have to talk its k Carly: you can just kiss me Ali: amongst other things Carly: yea you gotta sing to me w you find your words again i not forgot Ali: exactly babe 😘 Ali: what do you want me to sing you Carly: idc your fave Carly: idk any of the songs you like Ali: as long as it makes me feel a type of way, it's good with me Ali: even if that way is what the fuck Carly: ha Carly: i like you so much Ali: good, i'm glad Ali: awkward if you've taken the bit this far Carly: you thought id run away Ali: crossed my mind but honestly idk Ali: was worried Carly: aw baby no Carly: i really like you k seriously Ali: I like you too Carly: good thing cuz ive made it over Carly: come get me

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: this is why i don't wear shoes Ali: i have lost one??? Ali: rescue it if you see it Carly: what do they look like Ali: just a kinda tan sandal thing Ali: just a penneys special so not the end of the world, should chuck the other one so someone can have the pair Carly: come & bring me food & then youll be here to reunite them Carly: but yea k will lean out my door & see if its there Ali: love the enthusiasm, babe 😜 Ali: can feel your come down from here Carly: dont barely remember the come up Carly: wtf happened last night Ali: not in a much better position myself but uhm Ali: mayhem, that's for sure Ali: i think you might've gone home with the wrong cousin Carly: shit Carly: my bad Carly: better read my txts Carly: who did you go w ? Ali: didn't go that far with anyone Ali: 💍 remember and such a 😇 Ali: ronan was in a mard though and i weren't up for listening to that so 🤷 Carly: aw Carly: sorry baby i'll calm him down Ali: it's chill 😂 bless him Ali: no need on my account tho i'm sure he'd be down, despite protests otherwise Carly: my inbox is Carly: cba w this rn Ali: oh baby, want a bacon sarnie and a secretary? Carly: yea Carly: gonna throw my phone w your shoe Ali: i woke up to a mystery dickpic on my phone Ali: is it rude to ask which one it belongs to because lads, sorry, not that memorable that i'm picking it out of a line-up Ali: you'll know, been more recent, i'll come over with food and lucozade for real and ruin your day with that lovely image and the actually rather creative sexts that went with it Ali: 10/10 for effort, sir Carly: cant put it on the cv or school report but my memory for 'em is good Carly: if ive seen it i'll id it Carly: ill laff if its the large ginge cousin whose name i never got Carly: sounded like a cough Ali: that's a talent and if the man can't see that, fuck him Ali: and his job in tescos, like Ali: i mean, shouldn't have a preference but i hope not 😂 Ali: soz honey but Carly: thanks baby Carly: I hope its that token english Carly: he was fit Ali: can reply if you like Ali: worse ways to waste a sunday morning than messing with boys Ali: sounding like a priest Ali: oops Carly: ha Carly: i found some fucking funny vids of us so maybe the phone shouldnt go out window before youve had a look Ali: yes, i need to see that Carly: [sends her fave of the vids] Ali: aww Ali: we're fun drunks Ali: love that for us Carly: yea Carly: im a messy bitch tho Carly: no wonder i went w the hero cousin Ali: meh, things happen at parties, everyone knows that Ali: not like you're proper attached is it Ali: though he's gonna be annoying now probs but day in the life when you're irresistible, yeah? Carly: youd know babe Carly: he wont be on site long never is Carly: so idc Carly: saved me for a nite boy youre welcome Ali: duh Ali: hottest couple in town Ali: one for the wank bank anyway Carly: yea & he is fit Carly: give him that Carly: esp when i dont understand what hes saying Ali: the best kind Ali: a boy you don't have to speak to 😜 Ali: if that's all it takes like, whip out the Gaeilge Carly: youve got the giggles but yea Carly: true Carly: but on site id just have all the oldies chatting at me if i could Carly: not trying to make them go weak Ali: they ain't daddies? boo 😥 Carly: some got many kids but thats it Carly: say something to me then Ali: [sends voice memo, probably has dirty words she'd recognise from site life and lots of loling] Carly: k Carly: so hot Carly: if your gf is mad at me for stealing you last nite you can smooth things over w her like that Ali: might have to Ali: though it ain't you she's 😤 with Ali: poor ronan, shoulda done more than snog him if she comes for him, not even worth it for that Carly: ill protect him when he lets me back near Carly: cant stay mad at this Carly: sure your girls the same Ali: She's mad 24/7 babe, just gotta hold on, like 😂 Ali: we want different things now but that's not a convo for this morning like jesus Carly: whos got the energy Carly: cba w angry Carly: yea you want a sarnie Ali: exactly, and i wanted to have fun last night but may as well have said i want his dick in or around my mouth k bye babe Carly: ha Carly: that would be fun tho Ali: tell that to past you, dashing his threesome dreams like 🤷💔 Carly: still time Ali: not me you need to promise baby Carly: yea but id rather talk to you Ali: 💚 Ali: you cute Carly: all you Carly: how you look so good coming from band? wtf Ali: psh please Ali: it was all about you 🙇 Carly: if that was true why is every memory i got from last nite just you Carly: facts Ali: had to get you away from that mirror somehow, like 😉 Ali: it was fun Carly: ha Carly: cuz your talents got me like Carly: yea it was Ali: helps when the canvas already beautiful babe Carly: aw Carly: youre sweet Ali: 🍓 Carly: gonna make me cry Ali: don't cry lil one Ali: the bacon is coming Ali: got roped into doing a shady kid swap, where is my ma, take this demon child Carly: you can bring him if you want Carly: ill put clothes on before Ali: cockblocked again 😉 Ali: nah, he needs to go get shoes Ali: ironically and unlucky, twat Carly: what size is he Carly: i can ask around when i look for yours Carly: lads flog everything and anything here on sundays Ali: his feet are big man Ali: he's only little but he's lanky af, unlike me Ali: that's fun tho Ali: imma go shopping Carly: aw Carly: yea wish i was taller Carly: ffs ma and da Ali: literally Ali: least neither of my sisters are model tall or i'd be more raging Ali: we make it work, babe Carly: & i dont have any sisters Carly: well done on that one tho ma & da Ali: speak for yourself Ali: i'm gutted Carly: oww Carly: trying to replace me like the vows were no thing Ali: you know you're my one and only Ali: but a woman got needs Carly: thats what your gf is for Carly: no Ali: yeah but i'm allowed wishful thinking too Ali: damn Carly: ive given you the mental image of me naked Carly: what more you need Ali: are you jealous of your hypothetical sister? Carly: yea if you like her more Ali: aw baby, 'course not Ali: she's a ride, yeah, but bit of a bitch too, like Carly: ha Carly: takes after our ma like Ali: sadly, straighter than you Ali: 👎 Carly: like theres a ranking Carly: just straight or not yea Ali: I mean, it is a scale but I'm not gonna try and bond with your Ma giving her the test for it, like Ali: could we tie her down for a sec, obvs Carly: hit her when shes washing up Carly: takes long Ali: okay, i'll dry 😉 Ali: what an offer Carly: trying to make me vom now Carly: take crying or blushing over Ali: soz babe Carly: her & my da dont fuck but still dont reckon youre her type Ali: don't know what's worse, that, or knowing they do Carly: im good w them not Carly: sound carries Carly: no secrets in the caravan Ali: sure there's a toilet block they could go to Ali: keeping it sexy Carly: sure my da's there doing his cry wank Carly: while my ma checks the talent Carly: we got that to look forward to in our marriage in a few years Ali: who's scouting who's cranking Ali: because frankly, i refuse either Carly: im the biggest slag so probs me Carly: sorry Ali: and I'm not Ali: igloo sisters how many times now?! 😂 Carly: ha Carly: but youre loyal Carly: me and my ma dont kno the meaning like Ali: am i Ali: you miss the part when i got on ronan Carly: o yea Carly: i forgot Ali: idk what i'm gonna do about that Ali: instant gameover but its literally so irrelevant Carly: hes a ride Carly: you should be excused for it Ali: she's a 6 on that scale, yeah, massive gay Ali: so she ain't seeing that, never mind the other shit Carly: shit yea Carly: dont tell her Ali: does that make me the worst? Ali: i should hm Carly: hes not gonna speak to her Carly: and if he brags you can call it that Ali: Yeah Ali: I don't know Carly: its that or tell her Carly: & say youre sorry Carly: we were all wasted Carly: not like you have feelings for him Ali: You're right, obviously Ali: like that's the truth but yeah Ali: might leave it unless I need to go there Ali: soz God, swing by confession later Carly: tell her youre a bi cliche Carly: she'd love it Carly: use the scale Ali: she would tho Ali: validate everything she's ever sneaky or not so thought about me Ali: soz, i need a constant stream of p n v or i die Carly: a girl has needs Carly: what am i a 1? Ali: its like dis Ali: 1- all straight 2- mostly straight but lil gay 3- equal/bi 4- mostly gay but still lil into opposite 5- total gay Ali: but not gonna resist the urge to tell you you a 10 Carly: 🥇 Carly: i like that you're 3 tho. 3's a lucky number Ali: and a magic one 🔮 Carly: yea cuz youre magical Ali: believe it baby Carly: i do Ali: right, finally leaving, be like 10 Ali: doing the opposite to a walk of shame rn, strutting back in like what's good Carly: you gotta Carly: own it baby Carly: havent found your shoe tho sorry Carly: maybe ronan took it cuz he loves you so bad Ali: 😂 oh my god Ali: like a horny puppy Carly: yea Carly: building a shrine to you rn probs Ali: or he wanna play cinderella Ali: such a ridiculous fairytale, as far as they go Carly: how wasted was the prince that he cant remember what she looks like Carly: k been there but not trying to wife anyone Ali: right?! also, sure plenty of bitches a size 5, like??? Ali: was it a magic shoe Ali: no explanation, frankly Carly: yea like me and you have the same size Carly: ill take your prince for a ride bitch Ali: 😂 Ali: he cool with that Ali: that's the tea Ali: boy gives no fucks, long as it ain't a man in drag Carly: he hasnt met your brother tho Carly: boy looks good Ali: eww Ali: stop that thought right there Carly: dont get jealous Carly: not gonna go there Ali: not jealous, but repulsed 😷 Carly: k babe Carly: if you say so Ali: trust, you wanna see jealous you'll see it soon enough if you go there Ali: 😂 bea don't fuck about Carly: have to go for one of your other hot brothers Ali: trying be my sister in law and wife Ali: kickin it country Carly: you kno Carly: been on site too long Ali: forreal, not gotta hang with the traveller lads that hard baby Carly: after last nite not gonna be hanging w them for a while Ali: let 'em fight it out amongst themselves Ali: defs for the best Carly: yea Carly: hide w me babe Carly: gonna be so bored Ali: gonna Ali: i'll peep their wares another day Ali: not a euphemism Carly: sounds dirty tho Ali: yeah, regretted it as i said it but hey Ali: love me a sale and a gypsy boy Carly: no regrets boo Carly: they love you too Carly: esp whoever send the dick pic Ali: the real mystery Ali: soz everyone else with your drama but we gotta know Carly: i do need to be knowing Carly: thats my wife lads Ali: awh you gonna defend my honour n delicate sensibilities Carly: yea Carly: youre an angel Ali: you're so cute Carly: its you Carly: my parents came back Carly: gonna have to run Ali: oh no i am en route Ali: where you going boo Carly: i'll catch you and we can find somewhere theyre not Carly: ha church Carly: can you eat there cuz im not looking to die for jesus Ali: yeah for sure, not in the pews like its the cinema, like Ali: can go park if you wanna Ali: or up the mountain if you can hack it, like Carly: youre so smart Carly: like your mouth Carly: but yea Carly: date time Ali: awh yeah Ali: this picnic ain't goals i'm so sorry babe Ali: least the weather's looking up Carly: idc Carly: get to be w my boo Ali: 😍 Carly: i look crazy Carly: havent got dressed faster w out getting fucked before since idc Carly: idk Ali: i like crazy Ali: and beside me you'll probs look totally normal 😉 Carly: you look hot every day baby Carly: facts Ali: all these compliments got me feeling 🔥 obvs Carly: thats how i want it Ali: gonna have you flying high too Ali: top of the world, baby Carly: aw Carly: whats in the food like Ali: 😂 Ali: just faith n trust n pixiedust, of course Carly: you can snort pixiedust yea? Carly: k Ali: you gon' be mad when i've got nothing but sandwiches and half a donut Carly: nah Carly: cant be mad at you Carly: too cute Ali: and donuts are life Carly: true