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conditionaljewel · 1 year

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Laudna opened her eyes and let out a heavy sigh. She felt like she had been laying trying to sleep for at least an hour but she was struggling. She found this puzzling, considering she had just been resurrected not even 8 hours ago, and was still feeling the effects that typically leaves on a person. She’d been dead for over a week, so one would think she’d be feeling a little off and just want to rest comfortably. Instead, here she was in the late hours, laying out on a bed mat underneath the Sun Tree in Whitestone. She had asked the party while at dinner if they minded sleeping outdoors tonight, wanting to sleep underneath the Sun Tree. Everyone had obliged and bedded down for the night just steps away from the base of the tree. The sky was clear and the moons were out, without the threat of rain, and a nice breeze blowing through the square.

She sat up and looked around at her friends surrounding her. Fearne and Chetney were laying beside one another, reclined somewhat comfortably on a pile of their respective belongings, while Orym had curled himself up in the crook of Fearne’s knees. Ashton had crashed on a bench just across the way, one leg up hitched up on the bench itself while the other rested on the ground, his hammer laying just inches away from his arm left dangling, while Fresh Cut Grass was seemingly in their stasis mode, having been propped up against the side of the Ashton’s makeshift bed.

Everyone was sound asleep. Well, almost everyone.

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It was here in this moment that Laudna realized that Imogen, who she thought had been laying just behind her, was no longer there. She had turned to find that her bed mat was empty, its blanket pulled back, but the rest of her belongings all left behind.

“Imogen?” Laudna whispered out into the quiet night air, whipping her head around in an attempt to survey her surroundings. She moved a little too quickly at first however, as the stiffness of her once-again-reanimated body caused her some discomfort. She took a slower approach now as she continued to look about the square, and it only took her another moment when she saw Imogen was sitting on another bench not far from where the party was camping. Her back was to the rest of the group, and she was sat there looking up at the Sun Tree, seemingly lost in thought.

Here in this late hour of the evening, Imogen had let her walls down and opened her mind. With nobody around, the silence consumed the entirety of her mind, as she allowed herself a moment’s peace. There wasn’t anyone awake around, she figured, and let the walls completely crumbled, the silence so loud it was nearly drowning out the sound of nature and just the ambient noise of the world. For a moment, she couldn’t hear the night owls and other creatures that called the night their home, their calls dimmed by the muted silence that overwhelmed her in the best of ways.. Imogen took in a deep breath and held it in for a moment before exhaling slowly, repeating this several times over the next couple of moments. She felt the tension and stress wash away temporarily; she knew that this reprieve wouldn’t last, that they’d be back at it tomorrow. But for tonight, she was allowing herself to relax. She had sank into that peace and quiet, this meditative state, and basked in it for a few minutes.

It was not long before the silence started to be gently interrupted by a soft, sweet melody. It was a melody that she’d not heard in several weeks. It was Laudna’s. She kept her eyes closed for another moment, letting the sound of Laudna’s mind wash over her more and more with each of Laudna’s steps. A smile grew on Imogen’s face.

Imogen turned her head slowly and saw Laudna walking very intently, gingerly making her way over to her, trying not to distract or startle Imogen. As a result, she hadn’t noticed that Imogen had already seen her coming, also not realizing that she may have heard her either. Laudna smiled and waved rather shyly at Imogen, who smiled back as she raised a hand and motioned for her to come over. Laudna obliged, with a little more energy in her step now.

Laudna sat down next to Imogen as she scooted over to make a bit more room for the both of them.

“Hi,” they both said together, the second occurrence of this having happened between them. Imogen blushed and smiled, as Laudna tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. Was that also a blush coming from Laudna?

“I couldn’t sleep, but you looked like you were sleeping so soundly, so I just thought… I don’t know, I’d just come and sit for a while,” Imogen said as she placed her hands down on the either side of her thighs, pressing down on the bench as she began to kick her legs back and forth.

Laudna watched as Imogen sat restlessly. “I didn’t hear you get up, but you could have woken me. I must have started to sleep, I was trying to at least, but,” she paused and looked away from Imogen, glancing up toward the Sun Tree. Her eyes locked in now on its looming canopy a good twenty-five, thirty feet off the ground, the branches now full and lively with leaves and wildlife that make their homes in its wide-reaching limbs. “I think having been a different kind of asleep for so long, I’m still trying to wake up in other ways.” She began to very lazily swing and sway her arms and torso while she sat in place, imitating a light stretch and workout without quite unleashing her Spiderclimb abilities. “I think I just need to stretch out some more.”

“Oh sure, that is understandable.” Imogen said as she watched Laudna move about the space. She had to lean back to avoid Laudna’s somewhat erratic flailing. She could tell that despite her liveliness, she still was a little disoriented from the whole ordeal.

“How are you, besides that though?” Imogen asked, a tone of sincerity in her voice that Laudna had not heard in so long. Oh, how she’d missed that. Could you miss things when you’re dead? She wasn’t sure, but she must, because she did. That’s how she felt at least. None the less, Laudna looked up at Imogen as she contemplated her answer, ceasing her horrible attempt at stretching.

“You know,” she started, “I don’t quite know, honestly.”

Imogen nodded, but before she was able to ask a follow-up question, Laudna stood up and continued her answer.

“I mean, it’s strange isn’t it?” Laudna was now pacing back and forth in front of the Sun Tree. “Just a few hours ago, I was dead, and now I’m not. I wasn’t here, but now I am. It’s odd. But it’s beautiful in a way. I know it’s happened to me before, it shouldn’t feel like something new, but it does, and that I’m just considering all of it, in such a short time like this, it’s just a bit surreal."

Imogen had been watching Laudna intently, with awe and longing in her eyes. “But do you feel alright,” Imogen asked her. Laudna turned from her pacing and looked at Imogen, and smiled.

“Never better, darling.” Laudna sat back down and took Imogen’s hands into hers. “Truthfully, I am alright. It’ll take a few days to shake the cobwebs, and I feel just a little off-center, but thanks to you all, I am okay.”

Laudna looked up at the Sun Tree as she said this. The sensation of being back in Whitestone for the first time since she last here, 30 years ago when she died and was resurrected the first time, especially under wildly different circumstances as compared to now, had certainly left her feeling confused. She had begun to heal this afternoon as she had embodied her Form of Dread and manifested a tree not unlike the Sun Tree, but she was not so naive as to believe that healing would be simple and take no time at all. No, in fact if her life up until now had taught her anything, it was that it would take a lot of time and patience before she would be able to reconcile with anything. She also knew that it may not be in totality either, but today was at least a start in that journey.

Recognizing this, Laudna wanted to take another step in that healing process. If nothing else, she wanted to reconcile with what was sitting before her, the Sun Tree standing tall and proud. She looked away from the Tree and down toward the ground. She knew Imogen wouldn’t lie to her. She knew she’d tell her the truth. “Imogen, can I ask you something?”

Imogen looked over at her. “Sure, darlin’. What is it?”

Laudna took a deep breath. “What… what was it like? When you faced Delilah? What happened?” Laudna turned away from the Sun Tree and back to Imogen. There was a look of hesitancy and nervousness now on Laudna’s face as she asked Imogen this.

Imogen swallowed hard, suspecting this question might have been coming. Imogen blinked and, for a moment, she saw the little girl that she had seen in Delilah’s shadow realm. Matilda. There she was before Imogen with that same look of sadness and confusion on her face as Imogen saw in the shadow realm. Imogen blinked again, and Matilda was gone. Imogen was looking back at Laudna. She blinked twice more just to be sure that it was still Laudna; it was.

Imogen spent the next little while recounting just how she and the rest of their friends traversed the shadow realm, trying to find the fragments and memories of Laudna scattered about. She told Laudna of the vision of Andy; of having to climb into the barn; of seeing her parents before the dinner. She told Laudna about meeting Matilda, and of Chetney finding the beginnings of Pate in the woods. She even mentioned how every single one of them, not for a moment, lost sight of what they were trying to do: save her.

As Imogen told all of this to Laudna, she had gotten up from her spot on the bench and had taken up sitting on the ground directly in front of Laudna. She’d plunked down criss-cross applesauce, and was leaned back on her arms for support as she continued to tell Laudna about their approach to the central square where the Tree and Delilah had been.

“Do you remember anything?” Imogen asked her. Laudna sat listening intently as though she were listening to Imogen share a scary story, her head resting on her hands with complete attention paid to Imogen, whilst fully aware that this scary story was all happening with her spirit hanging in the balance.

“I remember being stuck in a tree for what seemed like eternity” Laudna replied as she sat up a bit more upright now, beginning to reflect on what other details she could recall. “I know that she was not pleased, and I could hear her talking.” Laudna swallowed as she fought back emotion in her voice. “I remember hearing you, talking with you, and I remember telling you that I’d been fighting her for so long, and how much I hated it here…” Laudna paused as these words left her mouth, and she began to look around.

She took in the city that slept soundly around her, a Whitestone bathed in the moonlight of Catha high above. She closed her eyes and began to recall the last night she was here: the night she was dead, and was resurrected, the night she fled the city. She remembered the bloodshed, the fighting, the violence, the horrible rebellion and what it wrought on the city around her as she ran into the wilderness. It all came back to her memory for the briefest moment, like a sudden flash, and then vanished. All was still, quiet. There was no screaming, no fires, no bloodshed. There were no loose nooses hanging from the tree, no bodies, no fighting. No violence. No Briarwoods. In this moment, it was just her and Imogen and the Sun Tree.

“But now…” Laudna looked back at Imogen, who had a concerned look on her face. “This is different, this is how it was before them. It’s… nice.” She lingered on that last word, nice. She said it with no malice, no taint, just sincerity and honesty. It may not feel like home, but she didn’t feel so weary anymore. It was a start.

Imogen smiled at hearing this. “It is nice,” she said. “It really is.”

“It helps that I have you here,” Laudna said as she put her hands out to Imogen.

Imogen, blushing, reached out with one hand and got off the ground, brushing off her skirt with her free hand before she sat back down on the bench next to Laudna.

Imogen finished recounting the tale of their encounter with Delilah; how Orym sprung into the Sun Tree to try to break Laudna free, only to be cut loose from the realm. She told of Fresh Cut Grass being ambitious in his attempts to subdue Delilah only to be cast away as well. But then she told her of how she and Fearne set the Tree ablaze, and Delilah's pained screaming as they finished what they started. They were fulfilling their promise.

“And then, we just came back to in Pike’s home, she took a moment to prepare everything and then…” Imogen brushed a strand of hair that had fallen down in front of her face out of the way, so she could look more clearly and intently at Laudna. “Orym said a few things, and Fresh Cut Grass tried… somethin’…” Imogen scoffed as she recalled his offering during the ritual, before reeling her emotions back in. “And then I said a few words, and…”

Imogen wiped her eyes of the few tears that had formed. “I said a few words, and then Pike slapped you, and there you were. You were back.”

Laudna took this all in and was processing everything piece by piece. The ghostly encounters, the bits of conversation she could recall clearly. She also remembered feelings of a struggle, a shift in the energy that was connected with her soul. A separation. She still wasn’t sure if Delilah was totally gone, with what her friends had done, but it was enough to bring her back. And for that, she was eternally grateful. She smiled and nodded after a moment, looking back up at Imogen now.

Imogen smiled, now growing a bit shy and worried suddenly. She looked away from Laudna, allowing her hair to fall back down and obscure her face. “I wasn’t going to just let you go,” she said, now turning back to look at her, brushing the hair away.

Laudna put her hand on Imogen’s. “I’m glad you didn’t.”

Imogen hung her head for a moment and let out a soft sigh of relief. Until now, she felt slightly ashamed and worried that Laudna might be angry with her, but she didn’t quite know why. Perhaps it was the tinge of guilt Imogen felt that they had made her wait to bring her back, or maybe it was that Imogen felt it was her fault Laudna was gone to begin with. She wasn’t sure. Imogen knew that it was a lot she was feeling in that moment that she couldn't put into words. She had apologized so much to Laudna while she was gone, while Imogen held her close, and now in this moment all she wanted was to reassure Laudna that things were okay and would be okay, all while reassuring herself of that. She also needed the reassurance that they were okay, too.

They sat there in silence for a moment. The wind blew gently through the otherwise calm evening air, their hair fluttering softly off their shoulders as it passed them by. A few crickets chirped mindlessly somewhere in the grass near the Sun Tree, just feet away from where they sat on their bench.

“Laudna?”

Laudna had been absentmindedly watching her fix her skirt when the call of Imogen’s voice brought her back down to earth.

“Yes, darling?”

“Can I ask you somethin’?”

Laudna now looked up at Imogen, meeting her eye. Imogen had a look of hesitation on her face now, a bit of worry lingering behind. “Do you remember…” She paused, swallowing her words hard, still having trouble even admitting what had happened. “Do you remember what happened in Bassuras?” Imogen began to shake now with nerves as she recalled that day herself.

Laudna took a deep breath. It had been several hours since she returned, and while her body had healed thanks to some of the magic that resonated from Pike during the rituals today, Laudna could still feel a sting, a sharp pain in her chest, like something that should not have been there still was; it didn't hurt, but it wasn’t a comfortable feeling by any means. She seemed to recoil a little as she exhaled, and Imogen worried that she had maybe crossed a line.

“I'm sorry, that—“

Laudna stopped her. “No, no, it’s okay,” she put a hand out insistently. “It’s you, I don’t mind. Plus, this is helping.” She lowered her hand back down, both of them now resting demurely in her lap. She closed her eyes.

“I remember fleeing from the Call members, and I remember fighting her.” Laudna opened her eyes, and looked over her shoulder toward Orym, Fearne, and Ashton. “I remember her knocking them down,” and glancing over at Chetney, “and going after Chet.” She turns back toward Imogen. “I remember her glaring at me, and then in an instant, she was right there in front of me…” Laudna blinks away a tear.

Imogen bites her lip in fearful anticipating, despite knowing what comes next. She wants to stop Laudna from talking, but she knows that she needs to hear it herself. She needs to accept that Laudna was dead. She looked down, closing her eyes, squeezing them tightly.

“I remember…” Laudna pauses, swallowing her feelings and trying to stop the tears, before pressing on. “I remember her stabbing me… then it went dark. I could hear Delilah, but she was faint, and I was confused” Laudna took another pause.

“The last I remember was thinking about you.”

Imogen’s eyes shot open. She looked up at Laudna, and in that moment, the moonlight from Catha shone from high above them both, illuminating Laudna as she sat there. She looked almost angelic, this beautifully scary woman, reawakened from the dead just a few short hours ago. Laudna was dead. But now she wasn’t. She was alive, back at Imogen’s side, back with all her friends. Imogen had cried for a week over her body, holding vigil while they traveled back to Jrusar. Imogen mourned Laudna more in this death than anyone had even gotten the chance to mourn for her first death, for Matilda.

But now here Laudna was, telling Imogen that in her last moments, she was thinking about her. When all was going wrong in her world, when everything was fading, it was Imogen that crossed her mind.

“I… I— You thought about me?” Imogen stuttered, not quite sure what to say. This was not how she envisioned this conversation going. What she was hoping to talk to Laudna about seemed so much harder now; she wanted to clear the air and claim responsibility and apologize, and explain herself, and try to fill in the gaps Laudna may have had. Laudna didn’t even know how they had escaped, there was so much to tell her. Perhaps this was a bad idea, maybe it was too soon, and Imogen had regretted bringing it up, but it was too late now because here she was, blindsided by the idea that in her last moments, Laudna was thinking of her. It took the wind out of Imogen and she began to tremble.

“Well, of course,” Laudna said as she began to twirl the ring on her finger, the ring that Imogen had purchased for her and given her in Bassuras the night they had made up, the ring of two entwined snakes with a beautiful ruby. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” Laudna looked up from her ring, still toying with it between her fingers, and looked Imogen in the eye. “You’re my everything.”

Imogen had become overwhelmed with emotion and began to cry. She leapt up from where she sat beside Laudna, straight into her, wrapping her arms around her. “Oh Laudna, I’m so sorry,” she wept into her shoulder. “I’m just so sorry for everythin’.”

Laudna began to cry as she raised her arms and embraced Imogen in return. “Imogen,” she uttered behind choked back tears, trying to compose herself, unable to fight the emotions and ultimately letting the tears fall, rolling down her cheeks.

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t stop her, that I put you in danger, that I couldn’t save you.” Imogen broke down and cried harder now, before Laudna managed to pull her emotions in for a moment, breaking away from Imogen’s hug to look her in the tear-filled eyes, taking Imogen by her shoulders compassionately, softly, as Imogen tried to continue, “I tried to surrender, and I-“

“But Imogen,” Laudna interrupted her through her own tears now, “you have saved me.” Laudna smiled, a playful laugh showing through as the well of emotions continued to flow from within. It was a happy cry, a joyful cry. Years of held back feelings and emotions unleashed, now being let go. “You saved me that day years ago in Gelvaan, you saved me today from Delilah. Hell, you have saved me every day of this life in between.”

Imogen took Laudna back into her arms upon hearing this, hugging her tighter this time. She thought back to the resurrection earlier that afternoon, and the words that she had said to Laudna in her attempts to bring her back to them, to her. She remembered telling her that she saved her when she came into town, and if Laudna hadn’t shown up, Imogen didn't know how much longer she would have lasted. Could it have been that Laudna had heard her after all?

Imogen and Laudna sat there hugging each other for a few moments, comforting one another through their cathartic crying. After some time had passed, they continued to just sit there, Imogen leaning into Laudna as she had her arm draped around Imogen.

“You’re my everything, Laudna. I’m so glad you're home.”

Laudna squeezed Imogen as tight as her exhausted, meager strength could allow, as that last word lingered in her brain for a moment. “Home.” It was a strange word, one she hadn’t used in quite some time. Certainly not to ever have spoken of this city in so long, but with how much time Laudna has spent out in other parts of the world, always on the run, she hadn’t had a true place to call home in many years. She hadn’t even really thought about the last real home she had, the one that was left behind and destroyed during the Briarwoods’ reign, the one that the Bells Hells had seen a visage of in the shadow realm, since she was first resurrected all those years ago. She didn't need to think about it, though. Over time, she had learned that “home” wasn’t necessarily a place. It certainly wasn’t Whitestone. What she had just learned, however, was that “home” could be a person. For her, home was Imogen.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

The two of them hugged for another moment, their crying giving way to the more gentle sounds of sniffling and breathing as they calmed down. Imogen pulled away from Laudna first this time, needing to wipe her eyes, wanting to give Laudna an opportunity to also collect herself. Laudna pulled a handkerchief out from her pocket and passed it to Imogen, extending a courtesy that Imogen had so often offered to others. Imogen smiled as she took her offer and used this moment to regain her composure and dry her eyes. Laudna pulled out a second handkerchief and did the same.

They sat there in silence for quite a while underneath the Sun Tree, the moons glowing above them brightly. The sky remained clear, the stars twinkling here and there, and every once in a while a stray bird or bat could be seen flying overhead. Whitestone was asleep, just as it had been for many years now, peacefully.

In the background of it all, Imogen was relieved that the conversation had seemingly ended, as she wasn’t sure she had the emotional fortitude to reopen the wound one more time tonight and continue to further divulge what occurred in Bassuras, and then after in the wake of Laudna’s absence. Instead she figured she would let it go for the night, having gotten so much more than she had expected out of their conversation, but one she was glad to have had in the long run. She and the rest of the Hells can tell Laudna about the immediate aftermath sometime over the next day or two. It can wait at this point. After some time had passed, as Imogen and Laudna just sat there in one another’s silent company, Imogen reached out and grabbed Laudna’s hand. “C’mon, let’s go get some rest.” Laudna looked up at Imogen as she began nodding her head in the direction of the rest of their party, still sound asleep not to far away. Laudna nodded affirmatively and stood up first, helping Imogen to her feet. Laudna was about to turn and step away, still holding Imogen’s hand, when she stopped and turned back to Imogen.

“By the way,” Laudna said, as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Imogen looked at her, cocking her head to the side inquisitively. “You’re my favorite, too,” she said, blushing.

Imogen gasped, her cheeks turning red, as her heart skipped several beats. One more tear formed and fell down her cheek. She squeezed Laudna’s hand, before bringing it up to her lips, kissing the back of it gently. “Oh, Laudna,” Imogen sighed as she took a step forward and reached out to hug her once more, wrapping her arms around Laudna, standing on her tiptoes to deepen her embrace. Laudna returned the hug emphatically, picking her up off the ground and just holding her. Whether or not Imogen cast Fly on herself in this moment, she wasn’t quite sure, but nonetheless, the two of them stood there hugging for another moment.

Laudna set Imogen down and kissed her forehead as she did so. Imogen blushed and smiled as she took Laudna’s hand and began to lead them away from the Sun Tree, back to where their friends all lay sleeping.

As she lay down and tried again to fall back asleep, with Imogen’s arm draped over her, Laudna closed her eyes. She began to wonder if she would ever be able to come back here and call Whitestone home someday. Maybe with some time she will feel comfortable coming back to visit, perhaps with the right circumstances or situation. Or perhaps maybe not even then. Maybe this would be the last time she ever stepped foot in this city, for better or for worse. She didn’t know. She didn’t know what was to come, not in either the immediate or distant future, especially not with whatever was to come with Ruidus and what they were learning. But for now, just for now at least, none of that mattered. Tonight, she was back with her favorite.

She was back home.

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