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#lilith became a demon/sinner (a very powerful one at that) so i believe she could shift her parts enough to make him pregnant
philzasjuicyass · 4 months
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Personal gender HC for hazbin hotel;
Gender didn't exist before Adam and Lilith. It just wasn't a thing.
Adam was the first man and Lilith was the first woman, and they were romantically involved. So when Lucifer became romantically involved with Lilith, he also decided to take on the role of a 'man' to fit with her being a 'woman'.
...That is to say it is 100% possible that Lucifer gave birth to Charlie, and in this essay I will-
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jazz-my-soul · 4 months
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Lucifer ( A VERY LONG READ)
Honestly, i feel like Lucifer made a huge impact on me and i like the idea of his characther.
However, i would like to talk more about him.
Firstly, he has six wings especially "red wings", so that mean's that he must be a Seraphim. I can be very wrong with that, since i'm not sure myself however, we do need to keep in mind that Seraphim's are the being's closest to god itself (however, the question if god exists in hazbin hotel's universe is still uncertain, or perhaps there is a council of Seraphim's or something similar to it, we don't know even know if Lucifer siblings will be present (however that does depend on which version of Lucifer we are going for). He has been described as a trickster and a dreamer, he has fallen in love deeply with Lilith and they gave the apple of knowledge to Eve and they were punished for their sin's and casted into hell itself.
That being said, they are some people that theorized that Lucifer's true form is a six winged duck, which i do believe is wrong because we do see him turn into an a snake when he gives an apple to Eve (and his demonic apperance also resembles a snake (aka eyes, his tounge). In some scenes with Al, he also growel's and you can kinda hear hissing. I would also like to say that i don't believe that Lucifer and Lilith are divorced, poor guy is just depressed because his wife dissapeared into the thin air, and he MAYBE is afraid that she left him (but it was pointed out that Lucifer and Lilith are madly in love with each other). Issue more araises that he already became depressed when heaven made his dream's into a mockery. He was literally hell-bound into giving humanity free will and because he broke the rule and gave Eve an apple of knowledge, he was casted out into hell where he would see what would become of his dream. His world overpopulated by sinner's who are psyhopath's, sex addicts, abusers, most of the time, well very bad people. That already crushed his spirits and of course, with him and his followers (aka other sins) being twisted and turned into demonic version of themselfs, his only hope and pride were his daughter and his wife. That is the only thing which made him happy, and his daughter loved his little projects, i believe he makes ducks because his little daughter smiled when she saw one.
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I don't know how much of the intro of the first epizode was true(as much as i would like to believe that the story which Lucifer told Charlie was true (and perhaps, there is truth in it but there are also white lies in it as well, we know nothing about Eve and what happened to her, Lilith face was in a shadow in a flashback and we do have to acceot that he is after all a sin of pride itself). We do know that Lucifer know's more about heaven but that being said, he is also the sin of the pride. As much, he is a goofy and loving dad, his pride is the reason why he lost contact with his daughter. He is to afraid to make the first move and too prideful to admit that he need's company and that he is lonely and is extremly desperate to be part of Charlie's life. Ever since his wife left somewhere (and i feel like she probably told him that she will be gone for a while, or she left him a message) it still hurted him and he most likely didn't know how to approach Charlie, so he locked himself and created and hoarded ducks. He also avoided meeting with the Adam and send Charlie in his place, you could feel that he loves her and everytime when he chooses the wrong dialog and his daughter get's hurt or little bit angry at him, he feel's so small and hopeless. A popular and ongoing theory is that Al is chained to Lilith, and i do believe that is true. Perhaps he is send there to protect the hotel and keep eye on Charlie (either he lost the fight or failed manipilation against Liltih, or they both made a deal wtih each other (he protect's the hotel and keep's an eye on Charlie and in the return he keep's his power or gain's something more). Also Lucifer's and Al's dad battle was very fun to watch. Of course, it hurted his pride to see that Charlie already found somebody who was that close to her and managed to replace his role of a father to Charlie, however, i personally don't believe that Al see's Charlie as his daughter (he MIGHT bond with her more into later seasons but he called her his wannabe daughter and gave himself the role of the parent, because he KNOW'S which words sting Lucifer's prideful soul and Lucifer also know's how to rile up Alistor when he called him an "Hazbin" and when he was smug about the fact that Al was in the end of the day, just a other psyhopatic sinner and he poked Charlie around with that information, basically telling her "I told you so".
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(Also i love these card's, kinda forgot to mention how menacing and (kinda cute) Lucifer is, it is kinda suprising to me how through the epizode's he really manage's to look like an angel and a demon in the same time, he either look's soft or sharp and both at the same time).
Some people pointed out that the last song was a bit rushed and didn't really felt earned for them both to reconnect with each other but i didn't hated it. I do agree that the epizode's felt a bit rushed, it is hard to have a normal healthy season when there is only 8 epizode's (i do hope they will be more in later seasons, or that perhaps they will be 40 mins long, instead of 24 mins). And i do understans the points of it being rushed and i do agree that it does feel rushed, perhaps i feel like we needed more time to see their bond to make it more impactful but again perhaps they were on the time crunch but i did liked the dialog between them. Luficer was so desperate to finally be with his daughter and when Charlie told him "Why dosen't my own father believe in me", it just crushed him. I don't think Charlie got manipulated by Al for 100% but i do feel like, she really felt like a daughter who just wanted that her father didn't pointed that what she is trying to do will lead in faliure, because she wanted to make her parents dream come true. With them talking with each other and seeing just how desperate Lucifer is to protect her and is afraid of losing her but at the same time he does really see her for a person who she became to be. Also another mystery is how be is still able to have an contact with heaven, he clearly has some connection because heaven ALLOWED Charlie to go there so even if Lucifer isn't allowed to come, there are still some angel's who are willing to hear him out or accept his request. Either that be his sibiling's, perhaps his father, maybe friends?.
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Charlie is also tehnically an half angel as well, so i do feel like she actually will need to flaunt that fact as well to heaven. I do hope that we see more of Lucifer later on. I was just so suprised by how well he is voice acted as well. I did had my doubts when i heard an sneak peak of the song but listening to the song, the voice actor's vocal range, he is a perfect fit. Also a small thing which i would also like to see, is that we will probably see Lucifer be more intimidating, but i feel like he only does that to the people who hurt Charlie or who just cross his line but again, love him. I want to see more of him and his relationshop with Charlie and Lilith!.
Perhaps, IF WE MIGHT SEE Lucifer and heaven (aka Sera, his siblings, other ange's (if he has them) and such being in good graces again (which will take SEASON'S for it to even be possible). I would like that they call him by his real name which is Samael (because that was his original name).
Sorry for the long post but as being said, i just loved his characther. I remember when people theorized what kind of father he will be and it was very different then it actually became.
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heartscfvalor · 4 months
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Introducing: Lucifer and Vaggie
Looks like you could use some help From the Big Boss of Hell itself!
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Lucifer is the King of Hell, a fallen seraphim angel who gave the humans free will after falling in love with Lilith, Adam's first wife, and enticing Eve with the apple. Described as a "dreamer", Lucifer had a lot of big thoughts and emotions over humanity, wanting to really expand on them and see where their creativity would take them, but in giving Eve the apple -- either metaphorically or literally -- he instead allowed darkness and wickedness to come to earth. In punishment, Lucifer and Lilith were sent to Hell, never to see Heaven again.
Growing despondent with the sinners coming to Hell and being filled with nothing but coldness and cruelty for each other, Lucifer ended up pulling back from his kingdom, allowing Lilith to run it for the most part; he greatly admired her power and her beauty, loving her with his entire self, and at some point, they conceived their daughter, Charlotte Morningstar, nicknamed Charlie. She is truly the apple of his eye, bending over backwards to try and make her happy, but as she grew older, the more awkward things became, especially when Lucifer and Lilith eventually split up.
Despite thinking that Charlie's dream for her Haz.bin H.otel is a little off the wall and kooky, Lucifer remembers what it's like to have big dreams, and he supports his daughter in every endeavor. He's quite thrilled that she's found love, and while he's not Alastor's biggest fan, he's willing to tolerate the R.adio D.emon for Charlie's sake. When they rebuild the Hotel, Lucifer adds rubber duck decor everywhere in hidden spaces, as an inside joke between himself and Charlie.
Need you to know I love you More than anything
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Vaggie was once one of the most ruthless Exorcists in Heaven, so much so that Adam considered her his favorite, which...not really an honor, is it?
Unfortunately, due to being an angel, Vaggie has a more compassionate nature than she might want anyone to know about; during an Extermination Day, she came across a very small and helpless Sinner that was almost childlike, stirring feelings of empathy and guilt. She urged the Sinner to make a run for it, and in retribution, one of Vaggie's "sisters" Lute ripped one of her eyes out, before cutting her wings off. Leaving Vaggie bleeding out on the street, Lute and Adam left her behind, so Vaggie was able to find a place to hide until the Extermination was done.
What no one expected was for Vaggie to be found by Charlie Morningstar, who mistook her for an injured demon and took her in to nurse her back to health. During this period of time, Vaggie grew to fall in love with Charlie, finding that her gentle nature was exceptionally appealing and sweet, and Charlie in turn fell in love with Vaggie.
Armed with a celestial spear, Vaggie is both the Hotel's manager and Charlie's main protector. She has a great distrust towards anyone who she deems a threat, especially the other angels, and she's quite harsh when she feels the moment calls for it. Despite this, she believes wholeheartedly in Charlie's ideas for Redemption, and she hopes to help Charlie succeed in saving Sinners.
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calibancangetit · 4 years
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The Final Witch’s Quarry (Part 1)
Chapter: Her Quarry
Pairings: Prince Caliban x Reader
Summary: (Y/N) finally finds a key to her revenge as well as finally meeting the one person she is destined to stop.
Notes: I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU ALL HOW THANKFUL I AM FOR THE SUPPORT YOU HAVE SHOWN ME FOR THIS FIC! I really didn’t think it would do so well, but you all are really giving me so much love! Thank you to everyone who liked and reblogged as well as commented. It made me so happy. I’m going to start focusing on some imagines for you all as a gift. I got some ideas that I think you all will like. If you have any requests please feel free to ask. I haven’t decided if I’ll be doing any smut however, so please refrain from asking for that as of now. Thank you again! 
Prologue 
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Hilda has had plenty of awkward experiences. She couldn’t count how many times she created tension so thick she wanted to just sink into the Earth and never come out. However, today was the first time she got to see that tension from an onlookers perspective.
You sat perfectly still in your seat at the Spellman’s dining room table. You were seated exactly centered at the table, where you had careful view of the entire kitchen as well as it’s occupants. Ambrose and Sabrina shifted in their seats uncomfortably as they both tried to make out the best thing to say. You let out a deep sigh as you crossed your arms; your annoyance raidiated off of you in waves.
A quick cough caught your attention as Hilda walked up to you with a tray of homemade cookies and tea.
“U-uh, it’s quite excellent to see Sabrina bring home some new friends-” your sharp glare made Hilda stumble on her words as she placed the tray in front of you-“or not. Um, where did you say you were from again, love?”
You eyed the woman beside you. She had a terrible habit of wringing her hands and patting her clothes down frequently; she also had this obsessive need to release uncomfortable chuckles to ease situations like the one you found yourself in now. It was amusing as well as agitating.
“Brooklyn.” you muttered as you lifted a cookie to your lips.
You sniffed it before taking the sweet between your teeth and savoring the oatmeal flavor. Your eyes met Hilda’s again as she watched you eat. You gulped down the cookie and let out a short awkward cough as you gave her a forced smile in order to aknowledge that you enjoyed it. She took your hint with a smile and ran off to the other side of the table to sit in and listen.
“So, um, (Y/N)?” Sabrina started as you crossed your arms again and gave her a harsh glare. “What I mainly need you to help me with is stopping Caliban.”
“What’s a Caliban?” You questioned with obvious boredom laced in your voice.
You could see Sabrina become more exasperated by your attitude as she tried to explain her plan. You listened on and off through her little presentation. You paid attention to certain key words within it like Prince of Hell, Tenth circle, etc., etc, yet your mind came to an abrupt stop when a certain competition was brought up.
“You are trying to obtain the Unholy Regalia?” You almost choked at the thought of her collecting every piece.
Sabrina and Ambrose gave each other nervous looks before nodding sadly. At this, you couldn’t help but burst into a fit of laughter.
“You realize this was made for you to fail! How could they expect you-“ you paused.
Suddenly, inspiration struck. You mind flew to the Regalia and it’s power. You smirked at the Spellmans as you drummed your fingers against the table. Things are going perfectly-at least for you.
“This Regalia is going to determine who is the ruler of hell?” You asked, twirling another cookie between your fingers.
“Yes, and Caliban is the only competitor. This man of clay seems to be hell bent, if you’ll excuse the pun, on defeating Sabrina, ruling Hell, and conquering Earth.” Ambrose bit his lip, and you couldn’t help but notice the frantic bouncing of his knee.
“And Caliban? What are his powers?”
“We aren’t sure. As far as we know he has the powers of any warlock, but he hasn’t shown us much.”
You gave a brief smile as you stood up from the table abruptly, knocking some cookies off your plate. That, of course, made Hilda wince.
“Do you know what’s funny about clay?” You asked with a face full of amusement.
The family shrugged to your little question with a series of confused whispers.
“No matter how good the sculptor, clay will always break.”
It had been a while since you have seen Hell. The stench of blood and death engulfed you, and torment was plastered on every suffering souls face. The walls of pandemonium were no better. Sinners were strapped against the wall and with every ten seconds of peace another 60 were spent with their bodies set on fire. You kept a straight face despite the cookies from earlier running up your throat. You were disgusted.
You felt Sage’s feathers brush against your cheek as she situated herself on your shoulder. You could feel her anxiety from being here and it was a valid feeling. She knew how you were feeling.
“So what am I suppose to do?” You asked as you flattened some of Sage’s feathers on her head.
Your eyebrows furrowed at the sight of your alli. Sabrina was an absolute wreck. She was chewing her bottom lip and wringing her hands every five seconds; you couldn’t tell if you were dealing with her or Hilda.
“Right now, you are going to be a scare tactic. Ambrose didn’t go into detail since he isn’t quite sure either, but he said Hell feared you. I’m going to need that fear.” You tried to ignore the way her face dropped.
After all, whatever was bothering her was none of your business. You were here for one reason and one reason only-
“Do you really speak to the false God?”
You blinked at the question and were about to brush her off, but you saw the way she pleaded with you for an answer.
“Didn’t you speak with yours?”
She gulped quietly before nodding more to herself than you. Guilt crept up your spine. She didn’t deserve your kindness, but you supposed she also didn’t deserve your spite. That was for her father. You could spare some advice.
“How long have you known you were Lucifer’s daughter?”
Sabrina was surprised by your sudden question but still answered, “Not long?”
“I can tell.” Sabrina stopped in her tracks at the confession. She could sense the trace of an insult and was greatly offended.
“What the hell is that suppose to mean?”
You gave her an amused look before continuing on,“I’ve known you for three days and even I can tell you are ill suited to be queen of hell just as everyone else can.”
She was at a loss of words as she tried to regain what was left of her pride.
You rolled your eyes and chuckled,“ You gotta stand up straight and quit being so nervous is what I am trying to say.”
Realization dawned on her face as she finally understood what you were trying to say. You shook your head in fake disappointment before pushing open too large blood coated doors.
You walked into the throne room where Lilith was expecting you and Sabrina. She was awfully disguised in the form of a human. It didn’t take you long to notice though. You could see through any poorly casted spell. You came to halt in front of the woman and quirked an eyebrow.
“Madame Satan,”
“Ah, the final witch. I thought you’d be-” she narrowed her eyes-“bigger.”
You gave a sweet smile and responded, "Yes, just like I thought you’d be queen. Guess life is full of disappointments. Isn’t it?
Her glare could slice you in half, and you wouldn’t be surprised if it did. Lilith made a move towards you but Sabrina quickly pushed her away.
“ Anyways,” she chuckled nervously as Lilith patted down her dress, “The court will be in soon to discuss more about the competition as well as upcoming changes I have been planning.”
Lilith hummed in agreement as she turned to face you once more to add on.
“You will be introduced as the Final Witch, who has sided with Sabrina in the competition. It should gain us some leverage. You must remain calm and seem regal despite whatever they may say. They need to know you are untouchable.”
You could clearly see the confusion laced on Sabrina’s face. She clearly had no clue who she allied with.
The sounds of heavy footsteps and high pitched cackles caught Lilith’s attention, “Here they come,”
You let out a breath as demons filed into the room. The last to enter were the three plague kings with a man following close behind them.
Sabrina seemed to take your advice since she stood before them with the aura of the greatest queen of all time. You stood tall yourself to match Sabrina as you waited for her to begin.
“Before we discuss the new regulations I plan on using during my reign, I would like to announce a very important alli of mine, who believes I am more certified to rule Hell than your prince.”
Your eyes wandered across the room as you assessed everyone’s reactions. You didn’t expect a certain pair to be staring right back at you. He was dressed in a leather vest with claws poking out of it. He was leaning against a pillar towards the back with his arms crossed. You could tell he was either very bored with the meeting or he was trying really hard to pretend to be.
“I present the Final Witch!” Sabrina shouted with a prideful smile.
The eyes of everyone in the room became filled with absolute horror as they faced you. The man from earlier smiled as it dawned on him who exactly he was staring at.
You turned away from him and cleared your throat, “I do, in fact, put my support behind Sabrina Morningstar. I speak for Heaven and Hell when I say that balance must be restored. A Morningstar must remain on the throne. Clay can not compare to blood.”
Whispers filled the room as they pondered their next step. You didn’t need to give a big speech. They knew of your hatred for the Morningstars. It was prophesied to be legendary. If you could agree with a Morningstar, then it must be correct.
“And what does your word mean to us?” A deep voice shouted from the back.
Your eyes immediately locked with the man’s once again.
“What does your word-” he said, walking ever closer to you-“ mean to me?”
You scoffed, “Excuse me.”
“Who are you to say I cannot rule Hell?” He asked.
Your eyes shot open when you finally comprehended who was in front of you.
“I’m the one soul no one could take. The one soul no one can have. I have powers that I am sure exceed what your small mind is capable of imagining. They are powers that Lucifer Morningstar gave me but could not take back. Powers that Heaven and Hell allow me to keep. They were indebted to me!” You seethed as he got in your face.
It was an obvious tactic to intimidate you, but you had definitely seen worse. Caliban only laughed at your attempt to prove yourself valid.
“Lucifer? How powerful could he be. It would seem he was tricked twice by two mere witches? Why should we let that legacy live on through her? The same witch that took down that same man, may I add.” He challenged as he pointed to Sabrina seated on her throne.
A small gasp left your lips as you listened to what he said. She’s the reason this all happened? She brought you here because she screwed up? You sent a glare at Sabrina as she tried to look away from you.
You were quickly losing traction on your side of the argument, so you had to think fast. The angered voices of the demons before you signaled that your lifespan was shortening if you didn’t find something to say, and Sage was getting more nervous by the second on your shoulder.
“Think about what you are getting yourself into. Lucifer didn’t lose to Sabrina because he was weak. He could kill you all without lifting a finger. He lost because Sabrina was stronger. She was stronger than him, so she is certainly stronger than you. I may be his enemy, but I’m smart enough to recognize the Morningstar strength.”
His eyes narrowed at your own. He was a foot away from you, and you were tempted to start a fight right then and there. However, it seemed Caliban had other plans. He smiled at you. There wasn’t any emotion behind it. It was just an unsettling simple smile. He suddenly turned on his heel and backed up from you.
“I’ll test your theory of her strength through this competition as well as yours. However, when you realize that she has dealt you some bad cards, feel free to slide into my bed for some better ones, beautiful.” A series of deep laughs echoed throughout the room.
You glared at him as he gave you a lustful look before walking off with the plague kings. Everyone allowed the rest of the meeting to go by with less trouble since Sabrina decided against sharing her new rules today. As the last of the horrid creatures left you shot Sabrina with the most terrifying look you could muster.
“You are telling me everything NOW,”
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kathyprior4200 · 4 years
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Hazbinphobia: Arrival of Adina
Adina fan art collage
Adina artists: (PLEASE GO SUPPORT)
Vivziepop
Hele-nae https://www.deviantart.com/hele-nae/art/Adina-and-Fitch-594650932
Buhitter https://buhitter.com/search?q=zoophobia
https://buhitter.com/author/AngelOfTheCode
MatrixArt28 https://www.deviantart.com/matrixart28/art/Adina-VivziePop-600498071
http://www.tjhongshengyuan.com/video/av33912053/?spm_id_from=333.788.videocard.5
SLoad666 https://aminoapps.com/c/hazbin_zoophobia/page/blog/a-d-i-n-a-fan-art/eYJp_lgQt3uEb4KZR62402Lp0ZnDe7DgDz6
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 “Here There Be Dragons”
 “In the very beginning, a primordial force (known as Mother V by mortals), existed in the dark antimatter in space. The force caused a major explosion, one that mortals call the Big Bang. After stars and galaxies were formed, planets soon followed. Crafted from that very explosion was an all-powerful being: God. He was everywhere, where there was light, He existed within it. With a flick of His finger, He created the sun, moon, stars and the planets in the Milky Way Galaxy. Then, three main dimensions were formed: Heaven, Earth, and Hell.”
 “The first one was Heaven, His residence. It was a marvelous place, with buildings made of gold, sitting on top of fluffy white clouds. The sky was endlessly blue, the environment a paradise. Angels were formed, divided into nine hierarchies: Seraphim, Cherubim, Thrones, Powers, Principalities, Dominions, Virtues, Archangels and Angels. Jesus was the son of God who was killed on Earth, then reborn. God soon created His Archangels: Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, Uriel, Azrael (black haired Angel of Death), among many others. His favorite one, however, was Lucifer, the Light Bearer. Lucifer was the embodiment of pride and perfection. The Rings of Moon, Mercury, Venus, Sun, Jupiter, Saturn, Fixed Stars and Primum Mobile were formed, God existing in the last one.  (Also called the Rings of Faith, Hope, Love, Charity, Fortitude, Justice, Temperance, Prudence, and Wisdom). C.H.E.R.U.B. was an organization that saved lives on Earth, traveling to the living world via the Bible. It consisted of sheep cherubs and a cherub boy.”
 “The denizens of Heaven were animal-like (like those in Hell), and were ignorant to those suffering in Hell. They took on traits of flowers, harps, doves, dogs, cats, swans and other things considered “holy” or “pleasing” (unlike the spiders,  and mythical monsters in Hell). Heaven, too, consisted of councils and Overlords who ruled certain Rings of Heaven, though they were far more just than the ones in Hell. Like in Hell, there were those born in Heaven (the Heaven Born) and do-gooders (the opposite of sinners). Like those born in Hell, the Heaven-Born had more power and a higher status than the do-gooders who had formerly been human. In God’s garden stood the Tree of Life and the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.”
  “For many years, all was well.”
 “Then one day, God decided to create new beings in His image, who could reproduce and unite with Him after death. They were called humans. The prideful Lucifer did not like the thought of God favoring man over angels. To Lucifer, he and the other angels were superior to humans and mostly immortal…why would God favor man instead?”
 “Flooded with pride and anger over God’s strict rules, Lucifer ignited a rebellion against Him. Using his Morning Star sword, Lucifer fought Michael and Gabriel, leading other angels who followed him. God told Lucifer to submit and to end the madness, but the light-bearer refused. Michael defeated Lucifer and soon enough…Lucifer and the angels on his side were banished from Heaven.”
 “The second world was Earth, consisting of oceans, land, animals, plants and humans. It was a neutral world between Heaven and Hell. Mortals there could be good or evil or many shades in between. The majority of them were flawed in God’s eyes, so only those worthy enough could go to Heaven. This often translated to straight, white, faithful men getting first pick. Humanity evolved from cavemen to farmers, to townsfolk and city-goers. Wars were fought, inventions were made, and lives were lost and gained. For the most part, humans were concerned with themselves, for better or worse.”
 “Lucifer roamed the Earth for a thousand years before being sent to Hell, the fiery third world. There, he became king, while Lilith became queen after her banishment. Together, they created Hell and Pentagram City as a place where fallen angels and sinners could freely express themselves and take whatever risks they wanted. Drugs, murder, rape, and thievery were rampant. Overlords were placed into positions of power, ruling territories and districts. The Rings of Limbo, Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Wrath, Heresy, Violence, Fraud, and Treachery were formed, Satan being trapped in ice in the last one. The Immediate Murder Professionals consisted of imps who would travel to Earth to kill humans upon the requests of their demon clients. Lucifer and Lilith raised their princess daughter, Charlie, who always saw the good in everyone. Charlie would later form the Hazbin Hotel to try and redeem sinners so they could potentially go to Heaven, in order to stop the yearly purges.”
 “Parallel to the Hazbin world was the world of Zoophobia. It was a world where humans, animals and anthromorphic beings (bi pedal animals with human traits) coexisted. Bi-pedal animals took refuge in Safe Haven to escape the humans who despised their differences. Safe Haven was one of the districts where Xirxine Labs and Phoenix Academy resided. A human named Cameron was sent to the academy by a mischievous goddess, knowing she had an extreme fear of animals. She eventually got to know the staff and students there, working as a therapist to help the teens. A Heaven and Hell also existed in the Zoophobia world. In Hell, there lived mythical monsters, Lucifer, his fox wife and trouble-making son Damion. Up in Heaven were angels, the same God as before and an angel named Adina.”
 “Who is Adina? She is a white, centuries-old angel with glowing teal eyes, long lashes and long white hair. She has large white feathery wings extending from her back. She wears a white dress and robe, bordered by dark teal trim with little white Christian crosses along it. Adina is the mother of dragons in Zoophobia and spiritual consort to God. She was created by God to “save” some people while torturing others. In this way, she performs many tasks: 1. Instilling fear in sinners 2. Encouraging more people to worship the Heavenly Father 3. Gathering information and allies to use against Hell 4. Caring for her sons, whom she created. Adina is also the head of the Exorcists or Exterminators who purge demons in the Hazbin Hell every year.”
  “Like Samael and the Exterminators, Adina enjoys torturing demons and sinners, often creating illusions of their worst fears. Her methods and the annual exterminations are ways of keeping demons in line, for them to know their fate and to not rebel against God and Heaven, like Lucifer did. She also has the ability to possesses others and convince them to take her side. Those influenced by her will have teal glowing eyes. (Take Mirage, the killer demon who possessed a brown-haired young woman. She caused havoc until Adina took control of both of their souls, creating a formidable ally.) Chainsaw, a white being with a chainsaw weapon with a cross on it, is Adina’s merciless ally.”
 “However, Adina’s closest allies in the fight against sinners are us dragons.”
 “Oh? Allow me to introduce myself…”
 Surrounded by a teal aura, a humanoid silently walks forward. He is slender with a pointed dark teal tail, black pants and a green vest with white sleeves. He has a white face, a pointed chin and nose and rectangular glasses. His analytical eyes are light green sclera and glowing teal irises, like Adina’s teal eyes. His hair is dark green with two tall furry tufts with light teal tips atop his head.
 “I am Fitch, dragon shapeshifter and oldest son of Adina. My large dragon form is in various shades of green: light green stripped underbelly, dark green tail and wings, spikes going along my back. My tail, claws and horns form my head all have teal tips, followed by forest green colorations. My mouth looks beak-like when it’s closed, but my teeth are sharp as ever.”
 “I am a demon hunter along with my mother. From a very young age, I have learned to wield a variety of weapons to use against the demons of both Hells. (I’ve only been to the Hazbin world once, and I barely remember). One of my signature weapons is a staff with several spinning blades on it. Many people think I’m heartless, a merciless killing machine, but like Azrael, I’m merely doing my job. My mother enjoys manipulating people and killing demons…it’s just the way she is. My mother also supports Xirxine Labs, the facility where scientists perform experiments on Zoophobia denizens. They may be unethical, but sacrifices must be made in the phases of progress.”
 As for me? I feel no remorse nor joy in particular. Demons are like rabid animals wrecking havoc across the realms…someone has to interrogate them and take necessary means.”
  “I have three younger brothers.”
 Another dragon walks forward, surrounded by dark purple and yellow. He wears thin yellow shoes and long black pants with yellow ends. His curvy black tail is decorated with several dark bows shaped like butterflies. His undershirt is yellow and his tailcoat is the same color as his pants, complete with buttons and a black bow tie under his neck. His face is pale, his eyes have lavender sclera and yellow irises. Finally, his hair is dark black, almost purple, with yellow bangs and tips on his two tufts.
 In his dragon form, his skin is thick and purple. He has the black bow tie and buttons along his back, spines down his back, large wings and two sharp horns.
 “Marx is a film producer and believed to be a former stage actor. He considers himself a victim of circumstance and is often very grumpy and bad-tempered. Marx and I are no longer in contact, due to disagreeing with certain life choices we have made. He makes me sick. Seriously, he goes around trying to impress others with his so called theater performances instead of doing more important work. Not to mention, joining the mafia, no less! You, know, the shady flirtatious black and yellow Castello, his brother Ribbon who does his dirty work and Salem, part of his black cat army. That mafia is almost as bad as that Italian Hazbin one with Henroin, Angel Dust, Arackniss, and Molly.”
 “Safe Haven is supposed to be a secure place where the bi-pedal animals don’t have to worry about paranoid humans hunting them down. But the mafia and the monsters who keep entering the world thanks to that troublesome goddess makes things difficult. At least Lesson, the white cat, helps encourage people to seek the right path and convert to Christianity, like my mother wants. In fact, he works for her and Heaven (Though, his too-wide smile and eagerness gives me the creeps.)”
 “Gustav, that German self-centered snake student teacher is Marx’s adopted son. He only likes students with talent; I heard he was very mean to a shy girl on stage.”
 Fitch sighs deeply.
  “Marx going against our mother’s wishes is seriously going to get him into major trouble. Thanks to Adina, my place in Heaven is already guaranteed. (And yes, “thou shall not kill” is in the Commandments but sometimes killing evil is necessary).”
 “Alright, enough about him.”
 Another dragon enters. He has a large goofy grin, a green shirt and a pale green face. His eyes are cloudy white, indicating blindness. His hair is jet black, black bangs going sideways and black tufts. In his dragon form, he is slender with light green and dark green colors blending into each other.
 “Malcom…I rarely think about, actually. He is a blind dragon teacher at Phoenix Academy. Apparently, he’s friends with another teacher named Perci. His blindness helps heighten his other senses. He’s passionate about learning and helping others. Meh. I consider him a coward, as he’s not willing to kill off any demons. At least he’s not like Marx.”
 “And finally…”
 The last dragon emerges, surrounded by orange and red. He wears black and white shoes, long red pants, and a black tank top. A spiked collar is around his neck, giving him a gothic look. His claws are black and his skin is white with an array of lines and symbols on it like tattoos. His sclera are orange, his irises red. His hair is a fiery bold orange, as are his two ear tufts. In his dragon form, he is white with black spikes down his back, tattered wings with the black designs, and a tail with sharp orange spikes at the end. His clawed feet are red-orange.
 “Hatchet and I see each other often. He is a handful, but admittedly, my closest family. Hatchet can create things with his fire and loves eating rabbits. His acid is acidic, so others would best steer clear. When he’s not eating rabbits or goofing off, he does pyrotechnic tricks, such as twirling flaming batons around. Perhaps he grew attached to me back when I would take care of him when we were younger. He was often the wild one, always getting into mischief. We all live distant lives now. Like Malcom, Hatchet always tries to get along with all of us. Though Malcom and Marx are perhaps closer to each other, like Hatchet is with me. Heh. Strange how two dragons with opposite personalities could get along so well. Adina likes all four of us, but she and I are closest.”
 “Yes, that’s about it. Adina and I have been through a lot.”
  “I remember those moments when Adina would coax people, like the green haired Iggly student into her wings, getting him to tell her everything. I’ll never get over that terrified look on his face.”
 “Or when Adina tortured a white spider demon with his worst fears and said, ‘There is no mercy for the damned.’”
 “She once saved this pink bi-pedal animal, embracing her and saying, “Let me save you, my little creature.” My mother always tries to do what is best, even though other people seem to be afraid of her.”
 “One other time, I fought and interrogated an uncooperative demon with red eyes. Adina hovered by my side as I raised my teal weapon over his head. She declared, ‘Such is the will of the Lord, so shall it be…’ Later I accidentally killed a delicate white butterfly creature in my hands. I’ve been mocked over my love of butterflies by my brothers, my father, and by many in Zoophobia.”
 “Whenever I would get tired or hesitant about my job, my mother would give me a warm smile and say in her soothing voice, “Just remember, it’s for the greater good.” Those words have stayed with me since. It always hurts when Adina says she’s disappointed in me after I fail a task, which is rare, thankfully. But I do what I do for her…it’s my one purpose in this life.”
 “I know that those demonic beasts have a safe haven in the Hazbin world like the demons do in Zoophobia’s Hell. Maybe once mother and I find it, we can stop those scum from spreading and planning devious things. Of course, we would need to take out the powerful ones when we can. Everyone knows that angelic blades can instantly kill demons. That’s why I carry mine wherever I go.”
 “Adina has summoned all four of us to go on a mission. Not like the interrogation or cleansing missions in Zoophobia Hell. No. This mission was very special. The four of us were to accompany her to the Hazbin Hell world, and find out more information about the princess and her hotel. Some say that the princess wants to unite Heaven and Hell’s denizens of the Hazbin world to create a larger diverse culture full of music, laughter and dancing creatures. Preposterous.”
 “God had heard about the program from a distance. Rumor was, if demons were to be redeemed, Heaven would get overcrowded and chaos would ensue. The unwanted guests would disrupt the entire Heavenly system, possibly creating an apocalyptic war as deadly as the one where Lucifer tried to fight God. God only allows those with no flaws or sins to enter Heaven; it’s been that way for centuries. Adina, God, the angels and exorcists all agree that those in Hell are dangerous and should not be allowed into paradise.”
 “Hatchet and I remain loyal to mother, though for Hatchet, it’s mostly because he cares for me and doesn’t want to let me down. Marx is grumpy and reluctant as usual. Perhaps he’s upset over a broken relationship or a show or something, not that I care. I briefly saw him drinking at a bar one time. Malcom, blind as he is, looks concerned. He obviously doesn’t want to leave his students and partake in this mission. Alas, Adina is a powerful being, perhaps second to God, so no one dare disobey her if they want to live a pain-free existence. Being dragon-shapeshifters, we can easily fight when needed. And in our bi-pedal forms, we can easily spy and blend in with Hell’s inhabitants.”
 “Adina brings out a special device, shaped like a music box. It is golden and pink in color, nearly indestructible. After typing in a code (A24, 921028, VVZPP), the music box slowly opens with a faint whirl, revealing a figure of a fluffy cat. The cat slowly turns around on the stand as cheery music begins to play from the box. The cat stops and from its eyes, flashes a black outline of a portal in the air.”
 “The portal lights up in neon pink, revealing elaborate symbols and one spot shaped like a horse named Spindle.”  
 “There was only one other device in the Hazbin world that could open a portal to Zoophobia, Heaven and perhaps Earth (along with open any door in the Hazbin Hotel), it was another music box with a black winged Sinner’s Key. All that was needed was the key or a grimoire) and a powerful demon or angel who could open portals.”
 “A golden Do-Gooder’s Key (The kind used in Heaven) is revealed from an outward moving slot from inside the box. Adina picks it up with her delicate white fingers and places it through a glowing key hole in the portal. After she turns and releases it…”
 “Vivienne, Vivienne, Aperiam in porta!”
 “Adina chants the phrase to open the glowing portal in front of us. It is the only known gateway to the Hazbin world. The fabric of Zoophobia fades in front of us, revealing a hole to a crimson sky world.”
 “We all get ready to go through...set to fulfil our destinies…”
 “But let’s go back to the past a bit…”
“The Dragon’s Keep”
 Many years ago, my brothers and I were born from special eggs in the Zoophobia world. Adina became lonely over the centuries. Although she had lots of power, it was tiring to travel to different worlds and interrogate denizens all the time. She eventually wanted someone to help her out in her work. Although she was ruthless to demons, she did care deeply for those in Zoophobia and Heaven. She felt like she was part of something bigger; she was doing part of His work, after all.
 “Oh what a marvelous place Heaven is,” she sighed to herself. “But the days drag on. I feel my legacy will eventually go unnoticed. If only there was a way I could pass down my values to a new generation.”
 Then, it came to her: she wanted children of her own.
 But in Heaven, casual sex was seen as one of the many sins not allowed. Plus, angels and demons were creatures that could not reproduce, unlike humans.
 Adina soon went to God for advice, bowing respectfully when she saw Him. She stood on a light blue rug that led to a set of marble steps. Golden pillars reached up into the sky, hovering on clouds that appeared on both sides of the open space hall. Two guards dressed in white stood hovering on either side, with flames for faces and six red wings flapping softly from their backs. Above Adina were the fixed stars and galaxies, shining brightly overhead, in contrast to the sky on the sides. Not too far away, angels were darting around large white roses, spreading songs and feelings of joy to other beings born within the petals. She was briefly reminded of her own birth, her name meaning “gentle” and “mild.”
 “Your Heavenly Grace,” Adina said, soon standing up, folding her white wings behind her. God appeared as a large golden eye surrounded by golden wheels with eyes covering them and small angel wings spread out from them. The wheels and wings were moving, but God as the eye stared unblinkingly at her. A white marble throne stood behind Him.
 “My lovely consort,” he replied, kindness in his voice. “So wonderful to see you again. What is it that you seek?”
 “I grow ever lonesome, and feel that what I do isn’t quite enough.”
 “My dear, your work is more than enough. I chose you to be the angel of Divine Retribution. You have organized and led countless Exorcists to Hell and back. Not to mention you saved so many souls who almost lost their way. Are you not happy?”
 “I truly am, my Lord. It’s just…I want someone who can help carry out my work. One who could work with me, but also be cared for by me. I’d like to have children of my own.”
 “Ah,” said God. “A beautiful wish. Alas, you know that angels cannot procreate.”
 “I do know. That’s why I came to you for help.”
 “Well, there is a way,” He said. “You remember you were created from holy starlight and dragon’s blood, right?”
 She nodded.
 “You have the ability to give birth to offspring. Dragon shapeshifters, and powerful ones. Here’s what you will do.”
 Adina listened intently.
 God had sent her on a journey across the world of Zoophobia. She was to retrieve four special items and bring them to a nest in a vast cavern. She remembered the instructions she was given:
  “Find the fur of a polecat on a rock during the full moon.
Find a gold frowning theater mask in the camp of rule breakers by the river.
Find the hatchet that lies within a volcano, where fire roars to life.
Find a religious text in the hands of St. Columba where the wind blows high.”
 Earth, water, fire and air.
 Finding the polecat pelt was easy; she traveled to the forest and there it was, illuminated and clean in the moonlight.
Getting the mask was harder. She had to ward off several shady looking creatures, and a few monsters as well.
After grabbing the ax from the volcano and nearly plunging into lava, she had to use lots of holy water to heal her singed skin and wings.
Finally, she found the leather bound book in the hands of a St. Columba statue, high up in the mountains.
 “Head to the largest habitable cavern. Create a large secure nest and place the objects inside.”
 At last, she traveled to the cavern, created a large nest of sticks and twigs, and gently placed the objects inside. Her glowing eyes allowed her to see in the dark. Toward the back of the cave was a pile of gold coins and a few precious gems scattered around.
 “A decent lair for dragons. They will reside here before being introduced to the rest of the city.”
  “Recite this spell to begin the transformation and birthing process.”
 Adina hovered her hands over the objects and chanted in Latin. The objects lit up in flaming spheres of light, transforming into speckled oval-shaped white eggs.
 The effort of doing the spell made Adina fall unconscious for several days.
 Adina stirred awake, her eyes fluttering open. She could hear some movement coming from the eggs. She stood up from the atone floor and let out a soft gasp.
 Her children were about to hatch!
 She carefully took the nest, flapped her wings forward, and placed it in a secure spot on top of a high cliff near the cave. She made sure that it lay within the sunlight and not too close to the edge.
 The eggs then gradually turned different colors. The one from the polecat pelt turned dark green and teal. The one from the mask became yellow and black. The one from the hatchet was red and orange. Finally, the egg from the book was light green and black.
 The green and teal egg wobbled first. A dark crack snaked slowly over the surface. More cracks began to appear, creating intricate designs. Ever so carefully, bits of shell fell off from different spots. A beck poked through, and the rest of the shells fell away.
 There I was, small with a dark green body, wings and a pointed tail. My new green-teal eyes scanned the area, curiously. It was love at first sight when I saw my mother’s smiling face. Adina stroked my head and back lovingly with her fingers, me letting out a pleased sound. I nudged my face repeatedly into her hand, a musical chuckle coming from Adina.
 “You are going to do great things, my little Fitch.”
 Around thirty minutes later, two eggs began to stir. The fiery colored one and the yellow-black one. The eggs bonked into each other several times, and chirping could be heard from inside.
 “Oh? Who’s coming next?” she asked.
 Adina soon had her answer. A part of the yellow and black shell was shoved off, landing onto the nest like a door breaking down. A dark purple and yellow dragon did a little pose before stumbling out of the shell remains. He shook off the embryonic fluids from his scales, showing a grin of small teeth just beginning to form. Moments later, the fiery egg beside him exploded, sending shells and sparks everywhere. I jumped into mother’s hands, terrified, while the purple dragon covered his little head with his arms. A slender white dragon appeared, shaking away bits of shell from his small horns. (This was before he got all his tattoos). His red-orange eyes darted around excitedly, spotting the purple dragon.
 “Hatchet!” Adina scolded as the white dragon began to play-wrestle his brother with loud croaks. “Leave Marx alone!”
 But little Marx soon joined in the fun, pushing his brother back with his little feet. Hatchet’s small spiked tail smacked Marx in the face and the dragon squeaked in brief pain. Little me jumped from mother’s hands, biting Marx’s tail.
 For several minutes, the three of us rough-housed in the nest, testing out our new senses and bodies.
 Adina soon grew concerned. “What about the last egg?”
 Indeed, the last egg had remained as still as ever. Adina shooed Hatchet away when he tried to knock on the hard light green shell.
 “Oh dear,” she sighed. Was it a stillborn? She couldn’t bear that. Minutes became hours. The egg still hadn’t hatched by the morning.
 Finally, in the evening, after Adina had almost given up hope, a small chirp was heard. The other dragons peered to get a closer look. Cracks snaked along the egg shell in multiple directions. At long last, holes appeared in the egg, before a closed eye was revealed through one hole. The egg split open and a light green and darker green dragon was revealed. He was slender, with thin see-through wings and a thin pointed face. He sniffed and slowly opened his eyes.
 “Malcom,” Adina exclaimed, overjoyed to see her youngest son. Malcom took several shaking steps forward, and bumped right into Marx. Marx growled in protest. Malcom’s eyes were cloudy white.
 “He’s blind,” Adina realized.
 Malcom’s ears picked up the sounds of bats fluttering from above the cave. He jumped into the air, but fell flat on his back. I helped him up and licked his face.
 “You guys will need flying lessons one day,” Adina said.
 For several days, Adina brought in meat, game and other foods for us. Hatchet, in particular, loved to eat rabbits. The four of us were much closer back then, than we are now. Eventually, we would learn to breathe fire, fly, talk and hunt for ourselves. We were to go to school and learn to live a more civilized life when we turned one year old, (equates to five human years). Adina had given us brief glimpses of the city and some tidbits.
 “Bi-pedal animals wear clothes,” she said. “But full animals don’t have to. Eating humans or other creatures is forbidden.”
 “Awww man,” Hatchet groaned.
 “Shut up and go chase a rabbit,” Marx muttered to him.
 “Rabbit? Where?”
 Marx rolled his eyes as Adina continued.
 “Do not go outside the Safe Haven border without permission. There are dangerous humans out there with weapons that can kill you.”
 “But we’re dragons,” Hatchet mentioned in his child-like bi-pedal form. “We live longer than them and are more powerful. Can’t we just burn down their cities and stuff?”
 “Did you not hear what mother just said?” I chided him. “They have weapons that can pierce through dragon scales. Interacting with them would only put the districts in danger and confusion. Idiot, I swear.”
 “Swearing’s not very nice,” Malcom added. “I heard one guy say something really bad to another, he was like, ‘oh no you didn’t,’ the other was like, ‘yeah huh, I just did,’ and then…”
 “You talk too much,” I deadpanned.
 “You didn’t even let me finish.”
 “Pay attention, my sons,” Adina said, before continuing her lecture.
   A week after we were born, we had gotten the hang of hunting for ourselves. Me and Hatchet, in particular were the better hunters among the group. Hatchet would eat rabbits whenever he could. (To this day, I don’t understand his obsession with them). We steered clear of bears or black horned monsters who could overpower us or swipe us down with their paws.
 Adina taught us how to speak, read, write, and, of course, how to fly.
 “Feel the direction the wind is blowing,” she said. “Flapping your wings propels you forward but don’t overdo it. Deep breaths and remaining calm are key. Try and land straight on your feet…”
 She said this just before Malcom came in for a faulty landing. He bashed into a rock face, tumbling down onto the ground in a heap. Marx tripped on his tail and almost fell, but managed to straighten himself up. Hatchet laughing whenever I fumbled only encouraged me to work harder. Hatchet was doing pretty well, if you didn’t count the time his white wings got torn up a bit from flying through tree branches.
 It took a few years for us to fully master our flying and shapeshifting abilities. But I grew fast and learned fast.
 I led my brothers when we practiced diving off a cliff. Taking a deep breath, I jumped off the cliff, morphed into my dragon form and spread out my wings gracefully. Adina’s face blended into the clouds; she looked proud. Hatchet was up next.
 “Whoo-hoo!” he roared, as he morphed into his white dragon form and took off. A gust of yellow fire shot from his mouth, creating a ring for him to fly through. I smiled a bit and rolled my eyes at him. We weren’t at full size yet, but we weren’t too far off.
 “Isn’t this amazing, Fitch?” Hatchet called as he flew beside me. We stared at the canyons and rocky ground below us. “Rawr!” he called, pleased to hear his voice echo through the air.
 “Focus, please,” I said. “Mother’s looking for grace and agility, not loudness.”
 “Fitchy…am I being too quiet?!”
 His loud voice and laughter rang in my ears.
 “Sorry, I can’t hear you over your need to shut up,” I retorted.
 Hatchet scoffed. “You’re always so…erm…stuffy. I’d say almost as grumpy as Marx back there.”
 Marx was pacing back and forth back on the cliff in his bi-pedal form. We all wore white loincloths over our waists that would appear even after we had transformed from our dragon forms. Our chests had thin fur that matched our hair colors.
 He appeared to be talking to himself, as if planning some kind of imaginary show.
 “Jerry the knight gallops through the woods, only to tremble in fear at the four mighty brothers. Then the camera…one of the objects from the city that Adina told us about…pins up and down as we stomp toward our victim. He runs and runs, the scene going by in a blur…”
 “Are you going or what?” Malcom asked.
 “Right!” Marx called, raising a fist and standing straight. “Life is but the next grand adventure. We now roll too…”
 He spread his wings…
 “Marx of Karl, taking off!”
 He jumped into the air. Malcom misjudged his next step and plummeted rapidly to the ground with a shocked yelp.
 Hatchet and I turned around. “Malcom!” Hatchet cried in fear.
 Malcom was briefly scared, but soon got over it. With a new happy look on his face, he spread out his green wings and swirled toward us. “Speak up so I can hear you!” he called out.
 “We’re going this way!” I said as I led the group once again.
 “What the…” Marx began, looking at Malcom. “You’re not scared.”
 “No. Not really.”
 “This is only your third time in the air. And you can’t see anything!”
 “I can hear, smell and feel where things are. It’s easier on the ground but I’m just happy to be with my dragon bros!”
 “Bros?” Marx raised an eyebrow.
 “Hey look, I’m not even in my full dragon form! You should totally try it!”
 The three of us morphed into our bi-pedal forms, while still retaining our wings. We huddled close to support ourselves.
 “W-w-w-whoa this feeling sure is new,” Hatchet muttered, trying not to look down. I, too, was feeling vulnerable, flying for the first time in this form.
 “Don’t look down,” I suggested.
 But of course, he didn’t listen.
 “Oh, no, Fitch, I’m looking down! Yaahhhh!”
 “Get off me!” I said, pushing him off when he grabbed my back. He clawed at the air in desperation.
“You’re not drowning, Hatch,” Marx sighed.
  Marx muttered some prayers as he grabbed hold of Hatchet to steady him. Hatchet took some deep breaths, settling down.
 “Hahahaha!” Malcom laughed in bliss. “You’ll get used to it eventually!”
 “How long is eventually?” Hatchet asked.
 “How should I know?”
 The four of us landed haphazardly into a nearby lake after a wind knocked us slightly off course. Water splashed everywhere after we landed. Hatchet shook off water droplets from his scales and wings.
 “Bleh! I hate baths!”
 “I’ll say you needed one, Hatch,” Malcom said with a grin.
 A deep growl rumbled in Hatchet’s throat. “Wanna see what it’s like to drown? Oh wait, you can’t.”
 “At least I don’t have to lay my eyes on your monstrosity of a form.”
 “What was that?!”
 “Heheheh. You heard me, Hatch.”
 “Empty threats and callous fighting, per usual,” Marx remarked, crossing his arms as his brothers landed some kicks and punches in the water. I stood up and narrowed my eyes. I had trouble seeing things off in the distance. Those things Adina called glasses would be very helpful.
 “That’s quite enough, both of you!” I commanded, a burst of teal fire escaping my mouth. It was enough to make Hatchet and Malcom pay attention. Good.
 “Anyone up for a swim?” Malcom asked.
 “Absolutely not,” Marx replied.
 “For once, I agree. I say we find ourselves some food and get out of here,” I advised.
 “Alright,” Hatchet agreed, separating from Malcom with a grin. “What are we waiting for? Food would be great right now.”
 “When are you not hungry?” Marx asked Hatchet.
 “Let me think…Never!”
   Turning back into our dragon forms, we hunted for food before heading back home.  Hatchet had a knack for finding rabbits almost anywhere…and wouldn’t share with us.
 “That’s my rabbit!” Hatchet declared.
 Marx tried to grab the small dead carcass from his brother’s hands.
 “For Viv’s sake!” cried Marx. “You’ve had enough of them already! It’s my turn.”
 “Let go!”
 “You let go!”
 The boys struggled for a bit until Hatchet accidentally ripped off Marx’s loincloth.
 Marx turned red and angry in the face as Hatchet stuck out his tongue and laughed.
 “You’re such a filthy hothead!” Marx spat as he picked up the cloth and tied it back around his waist.
 We found a river of fresh water for us to drink. In our dragon forms, we spit water at each other playfully and had a contest to see who could spit the farthest. It came as a tie between me and Hatchet. Hatchet, being the most athletically inclined, won intense races we had, both on the ground and in the air. A black creature with horns chased after us and nearly devoured poor Malcom, but thankfully, several hard punches from me and the others caused the beast to flee. In celebration, Hatchet juggled fireballs in his hands before catching them all in his mouth.
 “That beast will be “dragon” himself to oblivion! Haha! Get it?” Hatchet chuckled at his joke. Malcom giggled while Marx and I groaned in annoyance.
  Once we all got back, we turned into our bi-pedal forms once more. Adina said that those would be our default forms most of the time, so she encouraged us to get used to them.
 As we reached the mouth of the cave, Hatchet stuffed a severed brown rabbit’s head into his mouth with a greedy look on his face.
 “You know that is considered bad manners, don’t you?” I asked, referring back to mother’s lecture. Hatchet wiped off some blood from his pointed face with his arm.
 Hatchet scoffed. “Who cares? We aren’t going to the city for…another month, at least.”
 “It’ll be here faster than you know it, Hatch. It’d be best if we all prepare ourselves soon.”
 “Whatever you say, Fitchy.”
 “Stop calling me that. It’s Fitch.”
 “Same thing.”
  Our steps echoed as we arrived back into the cave at dusk. Hatchet shot a jet of fire up toward hanging bats, who screeched in protest, flapping their wings.
 One scorched bat fell down and landed right into Malcom’s mouth as he yawned. After a look of surprise, he happily chewed up the creature and swallowed.
 “I guess food can fall from the sky,” he said, licking his lips.
 “Jeez Malc, you’re even blinder than the bats,” Marx mentioned.
 “Technically, bats use echolocation to track down their food and figure out their surroundings. They aren’t as blind as you think.”
 “Hmpth. Know-it all.”
 We curled up in our bed nests that were spread out among the cave. They were nests with a few pillows and some blankets inside them. Malcom was the only one who hadn’t outgrown being tucked in. Since mother was busy, Marx came over and helped relax his brother. Malcom’s nest was by a chest of gold coins and some fancy books. They were some of many treasures that Adina magically provided for us. (She had a knack for spoiling us when she wasn’t stern.)
 Marx sighed and hopped into his nest by a pile of royal robes nearby. Hatchet slept near, well, a hatchet, along with a few golden goblets and gems. I soon curled up in my nest, the one nearest to some discarded swords, and bladed silver weapons. Apparently, Adina said she would teach me how to use them later on.
 “If you want to protect yourself and your brothers,” she had said, “You’ll need to learn how to defend yourself.”
 Of course, she hadn’t told me anything about hunting demons until I was older, but I was still eager to learn, nonetheless. The full moon and stars shone through a hole in the cave, a beautiful sight. Before long, the four of us were snoozing peacefully away.
 The assassin, the actor, the punk, and the nerd. A very unique dragon family indeed.
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kathyprior4200 · 4 years
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Hazbin Hotel: That’s Entertainment! (Remix)
ORIGINALLY OWNED BY VIVZIEPOP, NO COPYRIGHT INTENDED.
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 Enter the royal Magne Family
In Heaven, perfection, order, fun, and peace are priorities. God is an elderly man with a similar appearance to Jesus. His Archangels serve has his guards and advisers. They make up a larger angel council, which discuss different matters. Some of the citizens are humans with white wings while others are animal-like. The majority of angels have white faces, red blushes on their cheeks and silky hair.
The dark creepy robotic angels of death are used to exterminate the citizens of Hell to not only reduce their population, but to also plant fear. They have silver weapons that can kill any demon, as well as humans. They were made creepy on purpose: to fight fear with fear. They are sent down once a year to purge the citizens at random.
The buildings in heaven are silver, gold, and some are embedded with precious gems. The citizens learn prayer, singing, dancing, and being kind of each other. The society is heavily bent on rules: honor thy father and mother, no smoking, drinking, lust, or gambling. Cussing isn’t allowed. The barrier separating the worlds is a Christian cross within a circle, similar to the pentagram in hell in the red sky.
  Heaven and Hell are actually two sides of the afterlife coin. Though they may be opposites, they also coexist together. The majority of inhabitants were originally humans from Earth (except the evil humans went to Hell, while heroic humans went to Heaven).
 Lucifer and Lilith both bonded, due to their experiences of being banished from Heaven and Eden respectfully. Lucifer was originally a light-bearing angel, and part of God’s inner circle. He looked very similar to his current appearance: white face, short white elegant hair, and pearly white teeth (not sharp fangs). Like the other archangels, he would make sure that everything was in order, that rules were followed, and that the formerly humans were having fun. He even helped make chains of flowers and daises (which now disgusts him).
Lucifer’s fall began one fateful day when God decided to give flawed humans a second chance. Now, instead of only heroic individuals granted access to Heaven, He welcomed ordinary people with open arms. What was even more bizarre, was the arrival of former humans now in animal-like forms and vivid colors: horses, dogs, lions, eagles, even mythical creatures. Appalled by the sudden changes, Lucifer claimed that those “inferior mortals” should not be granted access to paradise. God and the other archangels disagreed with him.
 Raphael was Lucifer’s opposite. Unlike him, Raphael was kindhearted and discouraged any form of pride. He took his role in service to God very seriously…and if that meant the creation of humanity, then he would still be loyal.
 It wasn’t long before Lucifer and the archangels Michael, Gabriel, etc. engaged in battle. Lucifer wasn’t alone: there was another angel named Azrael who was Lucifer’s friend and adviser. While Lucifer fought Raphael, Azarael clashed with Gabriel.
And of course, Michael battled Lucifer’s darker form, which had emerged from him after his anger was released. Michael used a flaming sword while the darker Lucifer used the same version of Lucifer’s weapon, the Morning Star. This darker Lucifer was quickly vanquished from Heaven and would later form Satan.
  Refusing to obey God, Lucifer, Azarael and the other rebel angels were cast from Heaven and banished to Hell as punishment. Azarael would later become a demon and a teacher of the dark arts in Hell.
 Lucifer is one of the few who knows the names of the robotic purge Angels of Death: Puriel, Kushiel, Teneluehus, Raguel, Wormwood, Jeheel, Zacheniel, Ababhar, and their leader, Abaddon. Originally regular angels sent to punish the souls of sinners, they were later modified into the ultimate killing machines. Sent down to Hell once every year, they slaughter the citizens at random to control the population and strike fear into those who oppose God. Lucifer, however, wasn’t afraid…he only wanted vengeance for his banishment.
 Instead of fearing his evil form…Lucifer embraced it. Testing out his newfound powers of destruction, he decided to take a position of power and rule as he saw fit. How did he do that? By murdering opponents and becoming the king of Hell. (However, he and Satan were different entities).
 The first king of Hell was Bael, who had the power to make himself and his army invisible. Paimon was the second king, teacher of science, the arts, and made great contributions in expanding Pentagram City. The third king, Beleth was ruthless and cruel to the lower class and even to his own subjects. He rode a black war horse made of dark flames. Beleth overthrew Paimon and Bael and became ruler before Lucifer arrived. Asnodi was a king of another circle of Hell, with the heads of a bull and a man. Vine was gender neutral and created storms using only their mind. Beleth defeated the seer kings Purson and Balam, the bull king Asnodi, and even Zagun, a ruler who could turn water into blood and oil. The remaining kings were under the authority of Beleth and Zagun.
 Eventually, Lucifer engaged in battle with Beleth and the kings…and won. He became the new ruler of Hell and the older kings were quickly forgotten. The apple was adapted into the architecture of the hotel and an apple was also prominently on Lucifer’s staff and white hat to show his status. This is reminiscent of the legend of Adam and Eve, and a way to remind both Lucifer and Lilith of their pasts. The couple also created purple snakes for decoration and defense, also related to the snake Satan, who had deceived Eve in the myth.
 Lucifer had fellow frenemies known as Astaroth (the dragon creator of self- doubt) and Beelzebub (a greedy wealthy Fly Lord). They made the Unholy Trinity and each agreed to rule different areas of Hell (though Lucifer was the most powerful of the three and was known by the majority of Hell).
 Lucifer then met the beautiful Lilith, with her long pale hair, graceful figure, and powers of her own. She had been Adam’s former wife and wanted to be equal to him instead of submissive. Lilith was kicked out of Eden and was given a choice: either reside in Hell or be forced to give birth to demonic offspring only for them to be killed each day. Lilith chose Hell and soon gave into her selfish ways.
 Her life changed when she met Lucifer. Here was an individual so similar to her. Emphasizing over their past lives, enjoying each other’s appearances, (add in a couple of drinks of heavy wine) and they soon gave birth to Princess Charlotte, also known simply as Charlie. Lilith and her husband were constantly busy with keeping up their status, interacting with other elite officials, etc. Lilith also worked as a model, becoming very influential.
  Charlie’s Childhood
 A loud screech echoed throughout the industrial hospital somewhere in Pentagram City. Lilith was lying down on a bed, shaking legs apart, sweat coating her forehead. Beside her was her husband Lucifer, who put a comforting clawed hand on her shoulder.
“Keep pushing, mon amour,” he encouraged. “It should be over very soon.”
“That’s what you said several hours ago,” Lilith countered, her face straining. “We were so close to making it back to our comfortable home, but then…”
She paused after catching her breath.
“…my water broke, and now we’re at this slum of a hospital instead. With these…things to keep us company.”
She looked at the busy imps nearby with disdain in her silvery eyes. One of them was busy administering medication into her lower back to ease the pain. Two others stood close to her legs, ready to deliver the child.
“My privacy invaded, just before my midnight photoshoot,” she muttered. “At least I haven’t changed into my nicest dress yet.”
She currently was wearing a crimson long red dress with black zebra-like stripes running diagonally down the front. Another dress was neatly folded in a nearby suitcase. She blew a strand of her long blonde hair away from her pale face. Her signature long red horns protruded from her head. Her black crown of thorns was nettled in her leather purse on a side chair.
Lucifer was wearing his traditional white and red dress suit with a black bow tie below his neck and fancy long white pants. A large white top hat nested over his blonde slicked back hair. A purple snake and a red apple were also on the hat. His cane had a matching red apple on the top. His skin was pale white, his eyes were yellow, and his cheeks were rosy off to the sides.
 Lilith sighed, already concerned with her upcoming tasks for the week. Besides modeling and negotiating with elite officials, she was a singer of a band called Resist. “When I’m done with this, I’m going to have to come up with another song for Resist. Maybe something called, “Angel Anarchy.” Or “Oppressive Heaven.” “Evil’ is ‘Live’, Backwards?” Should I do a haunting solo…or try for a metal scream?”
The contractions began again, and the demon mother wailed in pain for several minutes.
“Make it stop, make it stop, uuuughh…” she groaned.
Lucifer turned away slightly. He was used to hearing and seeing his opponents and victims writhe in pain, especially after his conquest of Hell many years ago.
But seeing his wife in pain like that…
“I’m going to be a father…I can’t believe it…”
“It is nice to have a greater purpose in life, besides just being rulers of Hell, don’t you think?” Lilith asked.
“I guess you’re right,” Lucifer answered. “When our child is old enough, he or she will be able to carry out our traditions and be a great ruler someday. I already picked out a boy name: Azarael, after my former friend in Heaven.”
“I don’t know,” Lilith countered. “It reminds me of those bastard angels too much.”
“Eldritch, then.” He suggested. “It means “old ruler.” Our last name means “fierce warrior.”
“Absolutely not,” Lilith argued. “What good would it be to have our child named after the last name of our rivals? How about a girl’s name instead? Something like…Vivienne! It means “alive.”
Lilith looked at him. “Have you looked into our ancestry books at the library again?”
“I have to find something to do when I’m bored,” he said. “Playing instruments is wonderful, but sometimes I need some ideas.”
Lucifer was still too embarrassed to admit that he was bad at playing the guitar and keyboard.
“Do these ideas involve rooms besides our grand library?”
Lucifer grinned and playfully winked. “Maybe they do.”
“Remember when we met at that concert for the first time?” Lilith asked, taking deep breaths, trying to ignore the lingering pain.
“Oh yes,” Lucifer said, nostalgia in his eyes. “I’ve never heard anyone sing as beautifully as you did that night.”
“And then we went to the Damnation Bar several days later after Krampus came along for the holidays?”
“Yep, I remember. Stupid old me got into a drinking contest with Beezelbub. You were drinking blood red wine and laughing your head off.”
“You did look pretty silly dancing on the countertop when you thought you had won the contest.” She let out a soft musical laugh.
Lucifer rolled his eyes. “But I did though! That Fly Lord cheated by flying around and gulping down several glasses in all six hands. I almost destroyed him, too, but the room was spinning too much.”
 Lilith smiled. “The best part was when you went through your drunken phase. You massacred a group of demons because you thought they worked for Jesus.”
“And we had tons of fun back at home,” he admitted.
“It was both pleasure-inducing and equal,” Lilith added. “Unlike my terrible first intimate encounter with that stubborn Adam. I did love being on top at the very end!”
“Ooookay,” said a nearby imp out loud. “I think I’ve heard enough for now. How about I check to see what’s going on in there…”
The imp male adjusted an emerging bald head and Lilith seethed. “You touch me like that again, and I’ll use your entrails for a necklace!”
“What’re you gonna do? Charge me for rape? I’m just lucky to have a job in general, but that doesn’t mean I have to enjoy it. Of all the snob patients I’ve worked with…”
A flick of Lucifer’s fingers caused the imp to explode in a mess of blood and organs. A dragon demon with a doctor’s coat peered in.
“Clean that up,” he mentioned to another imp with a mop and walked away. As the janitor imp did his work, a red-faced female imp arrived into the room. She peered over at the ultrasound.
 After half an hour, the contractions began again, this time, more intense.
  “NON, NON…MERDE!” she swore.  Lilith pushed long and hard, gripping onto the side of the bed.
Lucifer and the imps comforted her over her yells.
Then at last…the bald baby’s head emerged from between her legs, the head covered in blood. The placenta soon followed.
“It’s a girl!” announced the imp.
After the baby was cleaned, the imp placed the infant into Lilith’s arms. Lucifer and Lilith both cried with joy.
“She has your horns,” Lucifer said, watching as small red horns shot from her head, then retreated back in.
“And your face,” Lilith added.
Sure enough, the girl had the same rosy cheeks and pale face as her father. Stubs of white fangs were already peeking out from her gums.
“You know what?” Lilith asked. “I think I found the perfect name for her.”
“I think I do, too.”
“Charlotte,” they both said out loud.
“Congratulations, you too,” said the female imp, who began running some diagnostics. “Part angel, part demon,” she mentioned, after a DNA test.
“Very powerful indeed,” Lucifer said with satisfaction. “She will make a great Princess someday. Charlie the Great.”
 When the family got home, Lilith placed Charlie in a comfy crib in the upstairs room. Charlie wailed and cried, not wanting to go to sleep.
“I have an idea,” said Lucifer. He snapped his fingers.
Two small animated snakes soon hung above her crib. They spun in slow circles on a mobile. Charlie stared mesmerized, even reaching out a small hand to pet their lavender heads. Lilith opened a window where the screams of victims and the roars of fires could be heard. Lucifer’s haunting lullaby added to the dark ambience.
 “Rock-a-bye baby in the dark pit
When the corpses rot, the flames will be lit
Writhing in pain as life slips away
Never see again the bright light of day”
   Little Charlie was soon fast asleep.
Lilith gently kissed her daughter on her forehead. “Sweet nightmares, my darling.”
   Many years later, Lucifer was dragging a young Charlie over to a large room for her piano and music lessons.
“Daddy,” she cried, “I don’t wanna go!” The young girl was wearing a black skirt, a nice white shirt with a black bow tie and black tap dancing shoes. She clutched one of her demon dolls in her hand.
“It is important that you learn the proper techniques of playing and singing traditional songs.”
“But I wanna sing my own songs!” the child protested, her short curly blonde hair bouncing up and down.
“We can’t get what we want all the time,” said her father. “If you want to make a good impression on our people, then practice is the first step. Particularly at such a young age.
 Charlie pouted as she walked into an ornate room with a black grand piano in the center. Her music teacher was a plump woman with peacock feathers in her black hair, teal skin, and a dress of sequins.
 Her instructor led her through several songs. Charlie’s shaking fingers struggled to hit the right keys at the right time. She flinched every time she made a mistake.
 At one point, she got so frustrated, that she transformed into her demonic self and sang one of her songs in a fury. Standing up and spreading out her hands, she lifted up the grand piano and threw it into the air. The instrument landed on her music teacher with a large crash. The demon teacher gasped and then her body went still.
Charlie covered her mouth with her hands as a tense silence filled the space.
“Oh, I’m sorry…I didn’t mean it…I just didn’t want to play anymore…”
She glanced nervously at her father. But instead of anger, her father was crying tears of joy.
“Oh my dear Charlotte, I’m so proud of you! You did a splendid job.”
Feeling relieved, Charlie beamed and embraced her father.
 As the years went by, Charlie went through lessons on dining etiquette, manners, demonology history, music history, and politics.
   During one quiet day, a young Charlie frolicked in the brown grass, while bare trees reached for the beige polluted sky. She wore a dress of white and dull lavender, with a matching colored sunhat with a pink bow on her head. She smiled as she sat down on her knees. A bunch of small red daisies dotted the field and she picked them up one by one. She held a bundle of them in her hands and sniffed their sweet scent. She heard a familiar voice nearby.
“I never knew that natural beauty could exist in this place.”
Charlie turned to see her mother walk gracefully through the grass. Her corset-like dress was light brown down the front, with long white sleeves and a dark brown top covering her shoulders and neck. Black gloves covered her fidgeting hands. A brown sun hat with a black spider and web on top nestled over her long blonde hair.
Lilith knelt down beside her daughter in the grass.
“Isn’t it wonderful, Mommy?” the young girl asked. “A whole bunch of flowers here for us to enjoy. Most of the demons here don’t appreciate the small things in life.”
“That’s true,” Lilith replied.
A strange sadness appeared in her eyes, which were yellow with black sclera.
Charlie looked over. “What’s wrong, Mommy?”
“Oh, it’s nothing, Charlotte,” she replied.
“Do you think I’ll be able to make friends?” Charlie asked. “It seems like not many people want to be my friend. They don’t even care that I’m a so called princess.”
 Lilith tried to find a way to comfort her.
“Well, you’re always optimistic, positive in almost any situation. And you’re quite tough as well. No one has messed around with you.”
“Like Daddy, said, “don’t take any shit from demons.’ What shouldn’t I take from them, exactly?”
“Oh for Satan’s sake,” Lilith murmured.
“Huh?” Charlie asked.
“Nothing,” she said, waving a hand. “It just means be careful who you trust. Some may want to be your friend, but others are…wary. We’re the most influential family in Hell and we strive for chaotic order.”
“Meaning like having parties and singing songs and stuff?”
Lilith hesitated. “Well…yeah, if you wish.”
Charlie beamed. “Oh, that’s wonderful! I bet we will do a great job for our new friends. Thanks, mommy!”
Charlie embraced her mother and then ran around happily in the park.
There was no point in Lilith telling her what was really on her mind. That Hell was no place for happiness and innocent fun. That many demons feared their family and envied them.
That Charlie would always be powerful and different…
…being part angel and part demon…and never living a previous mortal life.  
 Souls Inside Monsters
“Charlotte, it’s almost time for the show to begin. Hurry on down!”
A young teen demon was sitting in front of a mirror decorated with yellow eyes with black pupils along the elegant rim. She put on a dash of red lipstick while her two goat dolls, Razzle and Dazzle fixed her hair.
 “Dad!” called the blond-haired princess from inside her room, “I told you to call me Charlie! Charlotte sounds too…strange.”
“Well that’s your name, you should be used to it by now.”
 Charlie rolled her eyes and stared at her reflection: golden yellow eyes, a ghost white face with red blushes off to the side of her cheeks, razor sharp fangs when she smiled. She was so excited, she could barely sit still.
 When her attendants were done, she stood up to admire herself and her outfit. A candy red pinstriped dress nearly touched the floor and felt slightly tight around her waist. An enchanted light purple snake was wrapped around her waistline, both serving as decoration and self-defense in case of grabby onlookers. It was very similar to the snake that her father Lucifer kept around his white top hat (though both were protective of their owners thanks to Lucifer’s magic). Spider web leggings covered her pale legs and on her feet were black tap-dancing shoes. One of her feet was already moving up and down slightly. Finally, Charlie wore a black spiked crown with a red apple gem in the center.
 “My 150th birthday!” she exclaimed, doing several happy jumps. “I’ve been waiting for this moment for a while.”
Indeed, it had been 150 years since she had been born in Hell to the king and queen. Unlike humans, the demons hardly aged at all, or if they did, it was a very slow process. (Then again, they were already dead, so it didn’t really matter.)
 But Charlie had heard of the interesting human tradition they called “birthdays” on Earth. She insisted to her parents they had to celebrate hers once a year.
 While Lucifer had been reluctant, Lilith agreed.
“We can’t participate in that foolish human tradition,” Lucifer argued. “Especially since we aren’t alive and our people are supposed to be suffering twenty four, seven.”
“If it makes our daughter happy, then so be it,” she said. “Besides, no one else has to know. It’ll be one of our traditions.”
“Very well,” he said. “But since Charlie gets a special day of her own, why don’t we make some days special for us…if you know what I mean.”
He gave her a devilish wink and she grinned in return. “A special day for domination…I’m up for that.”
Charlie had then entered the room, asking “What’re you talking about?” and the topic was changed.
“So, about that meeting with the other overlords?” Lilith asked her husband.
“As usual, I warned them they needed to know their place.”
Rolling her eyes, Charlie had left to play the grand piano.
 “Are you coming or not?” Lucifer asked, snapping her back to reality.
“I’m ready!” she called, opening the door.
There was her father in front of her, smiling his nearly ever-present grin. Like her, he had (much shorter) blond hair, a white face, blushes on his cheeks, and yellow eyes. He wore his usual white and candy red suit, with his white top hap with a snake along the rim. A black staff appeared in his hand with the Forbidden Fruit on the top: a red apple. Lilith walked over to stand beside him, wearing an elegant red dress and her usual black crown between her red horns on her head. She had blond hair even longer than Charlie’s and was taller than Lucifer.
“Oh Charlie,” exclaimed her mother in a soft voice, “You look so beautiful! You remind me of me when I was your age.”
 Charlie embraced her mother in a happy hug. “Come on, now,” Lilith said, letting go and beckoning her to come forward. “Our guests are waiting.”
 The “guests” were actually some of Lucifer’s snakes which he reluctantly enchanted to take on the appearances of…
 “Disney Princesses and Harry Potter wizards,” Lucifer muttered in disgust. “It could’ve been wounded demons sprawling in pain on the ground like in the past…”
 Charlie walked down the curving staircase down to the lobby of her family’s mansion. The “princesses” smiled and waved at her and some threw flower petals to her (which were actually dried scales dyed pink.)
 “You know how much she doesn’t like that,” Lilith mentioned. Charlie took the stage and began to sing.
 “But those enchantments aren’t even real,” he said. “It’s one of the ways to prepare her for her future duties as Hell’s princess.”
“And what’s the other way?”
Lucifer whispered into his wife’s ear and her eyes widened in both delight and hesitation.
“Oh that’s right. Today is also that day.”
“Surely she will enjoy getting a glimpse of what happens out in the world,” Lucifer smiled.
“But…what if it’s too much for her?”
“Too, much?” Lucifer asked. “She’s 150 now. She has to be ready. It’s a growing up right of passage that cannot wait any longer.”
 They watched Charlie take a bow as her doll demons clapped.
 “Trust me,” said Lucifer. “She’ll be delighted to witness her first…”
 “Cake!” Charlie squealed. “Oh my Satan, that’s amazing!”
 A devil’s food cake was rolled and set on a table in front of her. It had chocolate frosting (per her request), spidery snakes on the top and a fat red apple candle.
 After singing to her in their deep hellish voices saved for certain occasions, Charlie pointed her clawed finger at the candle and the flame shot into the air, bursting into red apple fireworks. The noise spooked the apparitions and the regular snakes appeared once more.
For the first half of the private party, Charlie entertained her parents by demonstrating her dancing skills up on stage. For Charlie, dancing wasn’t just a hobby: it was a way of life and a method to express her deepest feelings that she couldn’t put into words. Razzle played the grand piano and Dazzle played a violin as Charlie sang.
 As the day neared its end, the clock outside rang out twelve times. In the past years, Charlie would head upstairs to her room to watch musicals while her parents went outside for some “entertainment.” Now this time, Charlie would get a chance to be with her parents.
 “It’s a special surprise, sweetie,” said Lucifer. “Since it’s a big day for you, I’d like you to follow us.”
 He said it as if it were an order. Feeling bewildered, but still very excited, Charlie let her parents led her up the elevator and toward the uppermost balcony. Razzle and Dazzle followed close behind.
Soon, the group walked onto the balcony that overlooked the crimson sky and dark clouds of hell.
 Charlie stared out into the distance as the clock tower rang one last time.
 “I don’t see anything,” she said. “Are we waiting for fireworks? Or a rainbow?”
“Silly Charlotte,” said her mother with a smile. “You’re about to witness something even better than those things.”
 “A spectacle that you’ll gladly remember for years into your rule,” her father added.
 Charlie smiled wide, until seeing a speck of something in the distance. It looked like a circle of white light that slowly grew larger into the shape of a portal.
 “Huh?” she asked.
 Lucifer smiled. “Charlotte, welcome to your first Extermination.”
 Then…a swarm of dark flying creatures burst out of the portal. The shadowy figures rained down on the city below. Charlie looked closer and could see they had black feathery wings, dark curved horns and glowing white halos on their heads. Each one carried variations of spears, harpoons and other weapons in their hands.
 “What are those things?” she asked.
“They’re angels,” said her mother.
“Angels?” she asked. “You mean like the ones in human myths?”
“No, dear,” said Lucifer, his grin wide. “These are no myths.”
 All of a sudden, one flew close by and Charlie reeled back in fright. The angel that glided past had an LED mask on with a large sinister grin and an x over its right eye. The angel threw the spear in his hand, and the weapon struck a large parrot-like demon in the heart. The bird let out a shrill squawk as it plummeted to the ground.
Charlie glanced down at the streets and let out a sharp gasp.
 Down below, demons of all shapes and sizes scattered from the onslaught of angels descending on them like hungry vultures. A demon with three heads was unfortunate enough to have a harpoon struck through all his heads, causing the creature to collapse. Two other angels were choking a red dragon demon, the creature’s eye bulging. Two hellhounds whined in pain as electricity from another spear struck them both in the backs. The bipedal canines crashed to the ground and did not move again.
Nothing but screams, robotic laughter, and carnage. The longer she watched, the more frightened Charlie became. Soon, the rotten stench of death filled her nostrils.
She glanced back at her parents casually watching the show from their chairs like it was a musical.
Tears sprang from Charlie’s eyes.
“What is all this?! Why are you showing me this?”
“It’s a yearly extermination to reduce the population of sinners once a year,” explained Lilith. It was like she was talking about the weather.
“Those are our people!” she cried. “And you’re just letting this happen?!”
“There’s no need to act so brash,” Lucifer scolded. “It’s just a natural way of ensuring that evil gets a through cleansing.”
“Cleansing? This is murder!”
“Sadly, it’s a necessary act,” Lilith added.
“As you know, I was once an angel,” said Lucifer. “I was banished down here and nearly killed myself. But then God, the angels and myself came to an agreement. The Exterminators could kill citizens in Hell once every year, while we, the royal family, would be left alone. It does make sense, considering we are the most powerful individuals here.”
Charlie took several ragged breaths. “What’s so special about us? What about them?!” She pointed down toward the fleeing demons rushing into cars, stores, and even dumpsters to try and get away. Down over at the poor section of Imp City, the imps were even less lucky. The one ones who could escape were ones with enough proficiency to create small portals or to shapeshift into Exterminators to trick them.
 “This is Hell, Charlotte,” Lucifer said, eyes narrowing in frustration. “Suffering is what those lowlife scum deserve to experience. Just be lucky that we don’t have to deal with that.”
 “Vaggie,” Charlie breathed almost in a whisper, already concerned about her friend.
 “Now stop fooling around and embrace this momentous occasion,” said Lucifer.
 “No,” Charlie said.
“Excuse me?” asked Lucifer, eyebrows raised.
“NO!” she cried, tears running down her face. Her eyes turned red and her long horns emerged from her head. “I’m not gonna sit here and let more of my people die. I can’t believe you hid this from me all these years!”
 Charlie summoned Razzle and Dazzle and the two goats lifted her up and carried her down to the streets.
 “GET BACK HERE AT ONCE!” Lucifer bellowed.
Ignoring her father, Charlie landed down on the cracked asphalt, nearly stepping on a severed horned demon head. Razzle and Dazzle hovered nearby.
She saw three angels corner a frightened cat demon with a spotted brown face who held her paws up. Spears pointed toward her head and heart, the feline gave one last sorrowful meow.
“HEY!” Charlie bellowed in her demonic voice. She was seeing red. Her black shoes clacked against the pavement. “STAY AWAY FROM MY PEOPLE!”
The three angels turned at the same time, their eyes glowing red and teeth spread out when spotting her. The cat demon scurried up the wall with her claws and leaped from roof to roof out of sight.
 Flames receding from her body, horns shrinking back, Charlie backed up in fear and gulped as the angels advanced, their weapons at the ready. Razzle and Dazzle shuddered and held on tightly to Charlie’s hands. Just as the angels threw the spears and Charlie closed her eyes…
 She heard a sickening thud.
The spears had struck a pair of black fiery wings. The spears vanished in flames before flaming swords materialized out of thin air. The angels were struck by the swords, causing them to back up.
Lucifer’s eyes were red, his temporary black wings made from his enchanted snakes merged together.
“LEAVE.”
His demonic voice could stop the heartbeats of an entire group.
 Charlie slowly stood up once the angels had retreated and stared into Lucifer’s glowing red eyes. He slowly turned his head toward her. Though he was furious with her, she could see a small tear roll down his cheek before being evaporated by the heat.
“IF YOU EVER DO SOMETHING FOOLISH LIKE THAT AGAIN, I’LL MAKE SURE YOU NEVER LEAVE OUR MANSION. YOU WILL BE GROUNDED UNTIL THIS PLACE FREEZES OVER. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?”
Charlie nodded with a whimper.
“YOU WILL ACCEPT YOUR ROLE WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT.”
 Charlie glanced over toward a group of demons and gasped. As her father raised his hand toward her, something inside Charlie stirred. A peculiar feeling in her temple, just between her eyes began to tingle with warmth. It was almost as if time stood still.
 When Charlie stared hard at the three homeless demons from a distance, she could almost see their faces briefly morph into their formerly human ones from their past lives: a white skinned bearded man with a bottle of alcohol in his hand, a mother with a cut-up face in torn prostitute clothing, a sobbing blonde boy in the mother’s lap just learning how to use a gun…
 Before Charlie could say anything, a glowing magenta pentagram surrounded her and she was transported back to her room with Razzle and Dazzle.
  In high school, Charlie met Vaggie, a moth demon who would soon become her best friend, and girlfriend. Vaggie was frequently bullied by the other demon kids, but Charlie’s demon form was enough to get them to back off.
“Hi, I’m Charlie!” the princess said, bubbly.
“I’m Vaggie,” the young girl said shyly. Vaggie had long white hair and a pink ‘X’ over her left eye. Her overall appearance was goth-like. Her sclera was light pink and she wore a white mini-dress. Her left stocking had pink stripes while her right stocking was navy blue. There was even a pink bow in her hair. The two friends grew closer as time went on. Vaggie even gathered the courage to share how she died one Halloween night.
“It was back in 2014,” she said. “I was a regular Latino human who was fascinated by bugs and the supernatural. Punching asshole guys and slicing their nuts off was super fun. You know, black guys and white guys insulting my culture and all, I just wasn’t having it.”
She continued. “People thought I was weird, but I didn’t give a fuck. I was in love with this cute girl in my class, but this guy who claimed he was my boyfriend didn’t like that. He kept calling me a butch bitch and wouldn’t leave me alone. One night, on my way home from a punk rock concert, he appeared behind me and slammed me against the wall. He tore off my bra, pulled down my pants and…”
Her breath caught in her throat. Tears fell from her eyes. “His friends were standing there too…they just laughed at my naked form. He went into me over and over, and over again!”
She buried her face in her hands, as Charlie held her tightly.
“I’m so sorry, Vaggie,” she said quietly.
“Not only that,” she stuttered between sobs, “he stabbed me here…”
She pointed to her left eye,
“…and here…”
She mentioned to her breasts…
“…and finally set the rest of me on fire.”
 Charlie was crying too, sharing her friend’s pain. “I can’t imagine what’s that’s like. To go through that…and being a human…”
“Well, I’m not a human anymore,” she said, wiping away her tears. “I’m a demon stuck in this hellhole. There’s a good reason I don’t trust men…I never trusted them when I was alive. Don’t even get me started on my abusive father.”
Charlie sat and listened, providing a source of comfort for her friend.
   That’s Entertainment: present day
 Both of Charlie’s parents envisioned their daughter as an asset to the family business. She was the princess of a hotel and they hoped that by encouraging demons to remain in fear and respect of their family, that no conflicts would arise.
 But then, Charlie proposed something radical, unexpected…and even dangerous. She wanted to create the Happy Hotel as a place for sinners to redeem themselves. Lucifer thought it was a joke at first. Charlie had laughed and explained her plan.
 “Isn’t it brilliant?” she asked, a smile on her face. She stood in the living room of their elegant home. “This could be the solution we need that could benefit everyone.”
Her father was not amused and her mother was skeptical.
“How would running a hotel cause the demons to change so fast?” he asked. “Your plan is impractical and downright ridiculous.”
“What makes you think this idea will work?” asked Lilith.
“Glad you asked,” said Charlie. She cleared her throat, opened her mouth wide and stood on a table.
Lucifer held up a hand.
“No singing necessary.”
Charlie let out a sigh and hoped down. “If the demons could become good people who give up their bad habits, just think how much better this world would be. Heaven wouldn’t need to exterminate the population year after year. Crime rates would drop, gambling and drugs would become afterthoughts. Who knows? Maybe those reformed enough could leave to live better afterlives!”
“Leave?!” asked Lucifer. “You do realize that demons were sent here for a reason. If they were to change their ways, then our economy and society would crumble. Even worse, there would be revolts, riots.”
Charlie stared with curiosity. “What’s bad about that?”
“It’d put our family and legacy at risk!” Lucifer replied. “Our livelihood depends on preserving tradition and establishing a chaotic order, if you will.”
“Our legacy could change for the better,” Charlie countered. “No more killings and despair for everyone. You may not think that anyone cares about purges, but I know that there are families out there who have lost beloved members due to those purges.”
“Me and the other demons do care about the purges,” Lucifer stated. “Which is why it would only get worse if demons decided to change.”
Lilith put a comforting hand on her daughter’s shoulder. “Charlotte, I understand that you’re trying hard to do what’s best for Hell. I, too, wish things could have been different. Unfortunately, things are the way they are. It can’t be helped. Why make matters worse to begin with?”
 Tears started to fall from Charlie’s’ golden eyes. “Why aren’t you guys listening to me?”
She pulled away. “If all of us want better lives here free from killings…”
She pointed to her drawing of the Happy Hotel on a piece of paper,
“…then this is the only way to make it happen.”
Lucifer crossed his arms, his eyes glowing red. “You will, under no circumstances, open that hotel.”
Charlie’s fangs grew slightly longer. “I have to try!”
Lilith sighed softly, looking back and forth as her family members argued.
Charlie took several deep breaths and placed her hand over her heart. “I know there’s good in every demon here. They just need to be reminded of their potentials, their purposes.”
“The purpose of demons,” said Lucifer with a glare, “is to suffer in damnation forever. None of them can be redeemed, that’s just who they are. The sooner you realize that, the better.”
Charlie groaned out loud in frustration. “I refuse to believe that!”
Lucifer sighed. “I know I can’t change your beliefs, but I’m still in charge. As king, I forbid you to…”
“La la la! Can’t hear you!” Charlie called, covering her ears.
“Now you’re just being childish,” said Lilith. “I’d send you to your room, but you’re 117 years old.”
“I feel like I’m 17 instead.”
“Age doesn’t matter,” said Lucifer. “Our legacy does, however. I will not allow you to drag it through the mud.”
“Then I’ll just create a new one!” said Charlie. Anger flooded her head and spread through her arms. Sparks of electricity danced around her clawed fingers. Charlie backed up from the living room and entered a long hallway. Her father followed.
Lilith stepped back and cussed under her breath. She knew a fight was coming on, and it was never pretty.
Charlie summoned balls of fire from her palms. Lucifer summoned his staff into his hand, a long black one with a red apple on top. The fireballs shot from Charlie’s hands but her father made them vanish on the spot with a wave of his hand. Charlie jumped into the air, ready to attack. Using his staff, Lucifer created a hole that dropped Charlie to a farther spot down the hall.
 “I hate portals,” Charlie muttered.
 Closing her eyes, Charlie conjured a flaming unicorn and hopped onto its back.
“For cupcakes and rainbows!” she shouted as she galloped forward toward her father.
“Enough of this!” he yelled. He shot a band of red energy at the unicorn, destroying it. Charlie tumbled to the ground, and then righted herself. Her entire body was then engulfed in flames, her black horns growing from her head. A volley of flames spread from her in every direction, breaking several windows and nearby vases. One painting depicting humans being thrown into a lake of lava crumbled to ash.
Lilith came into the room and gasped. “Charlotte!” she scolded. “That painting cost 240 souls to purchase!”
Ignoring her mother, Charlie danced around, avoiding her father’s attacks. “I’m sticking with my idea!”
Lucifer held out his hand, and a glowing red pentagram appeared on the floor under Charlie’s feet. Charlie jumped into the air, only for her to be surrounded by a web of neon red vines. Charlie’s fire from her body could not burn away the sharp vines restraining her.
“Father…let go!” she yelled.
Lucifer walled over to her, slowly. “Be grateful that you are my daughter,” he said. “If you were anyone else who had questioned me…”
“Lucifer,” warned Lilith from behind.
“Listen well, Charlotte, because I won’t say this again. If you know what’s good for you, you will give up on your idea and start behaving like an adult.”
“But I am an adult!” Charlie protested, no longer struggling. “And I’ve decided as princess to continue on with opening the hotel. It will be what’s best for us.”
The vines around her tightened.
Flames sparked in Lucifer’s eyes. “If you think causing a war is what’s best for us, then you are gravely mistaken. I had high hopes for you all these years. But now…you’re nothing but a failure.”
Charlie stared in newfound shock, eyes wide. She felt a stabbing pain inside her that had nothing to do with the vines.
 Failure.
Failure.
Failure.
That was all she ever seemed to be in her father’s eyes.
 She thought back to her rivals, Helsa and Katie Killjoy. Helsa was a woman with gray skin and octopus tentacles for hair. She had been Charlie’s rival since they were little.
“You and your family are an utter disgrace,” she had said, flaunting her pink fur jacket, dark skirt and high heeled boots. “You’re a naïve fool with such airheaded ideas. How I’d love to see you humiliated and my family reach the top.”
 And then there was Katie Killjoy, who was potentially even worse. Homophobic and self-centered, she cared only about her appearance and good ratings on the news.
“You call yourself a princess,” she had scoffed, blowing a cigarette, “but you’re scum, just like everyone else.”
 Charlie willed for her memories to go away. Since the beginning, Charlie had felt like an outsider. It wasn’t just because of her friendlier personality in comparison to those around her. It was also due to the fact that she was the only one born in Hell…everyone else had lived past lives on Earth or Heaven.
 Lilith stepped forward and destroyed the vines with a wave of her hand. Everyone took shaking breaths and became silent for a moment. Charlie’s horns retracted back into her head, and the flames dwindled and disappeared around her body. Charlie was free and she promptly stomped away, head lowered.
Lucifer spoke in a booming voice that echoed throughout the room. “We will come back to this!”
“Charlotte, do not go outside yet!” Lilith warned before Charlie was out of sight.
 Charlie stared out the window into the crimson sky of Hell. Lilith was right to be concerned about the outside world. To Charlie’s horror, the purge was underway. Robotic angels with sinister smiles and red Xs for eyes swooped down and stabbed any demon that they could find. They were immune to demonic magic, as shown when one green eel-like demon tried in vain to push back an angel with his magic. One stab to the eel’s chest brought the monster to the ground, lifeless. In the shadows, one demon with thick dark gray hair like a lion, plucked an abandoned spear from a fallen demon. Another demon in a lab coat took notes on a clipboard. The feline-demon walked with the weapon proudly, considering selling it on the black market for a huge price. Passerby ignored the imp demons who began feasting on the bodied body.
Charlie let out a yelp as something went flying toward her. A bat demon was thrown hard against the window and its body slid down the glass pane before falling. Dark blood was left behind, streams flowing down like thick raindrops.  An angel of death slowly turned its head toward Charlie. She gasped in fright, moving out of sight with her back against the wall.
 She wished that her girlfriend Vaggie were with her to comfort her. She had met the emo-like, misandrist woman back when they were very young. They were childhood friends whose friendship developed into something deeper. Complementary opposites, Vaggie’s no-nonsense personality kept Charlie grounded in reality…sometimes.  
 Charlie often wondered…could there be a better place for demons? Heaven was inaccessible and only for the elite and those who met strict qualifications. Hell was overpopulated with people…some were evil for sure…but others just made mistakes.
Those lucky enough to forego Heaven and Hell went to a limbo place where there was dark nothingness…at least that what her father claimed after eavesdropping on humans during his fall to Hell.
 Could that really be it? If the angels were to kill everyone, would the victims just cease to exist? Would those formerly lost humans serve no purpose other than suffering in their afterlives?
 She tried to imagine what mortals might be feeling. She didn’t know very much, but she figured that they had the same desires as herself.
 “Should I really keep going? Should I try to provide more opportunities for the people here? What if I really am a failure?”
 It seemed like forever, but eventually, a deathly silence announced that the purge had ended. The numbers below a clock tower read 365 days until the next purge. Charlie slowly walked outside onto a balcony. She couldn’t bring herself to look at the carnage down below.
Among the broken weapons and corpses, “fuck you, heaven!” was written in red on a nearby wall. “Cleanse!” was scribbled on posters of an angel of death. Up in the sky, a lone planet with a pentagram loomed overhead. More signs displayed advertisements, porn, drugs, and drinks. In one area, a figure of a demonic woman in promiscuous clothing posed next to a sign that read “Porn Studios.” In a shadier part of town, large red signs read “punishment,” and “your days are numbered.” A demon with the head of a bull picked up a fallen head from the ground and loaded it into his shopping cart of other heads. Casino signs flashed in the darkness and faint music pounded from strip clubs.
Tears fell freely from Charlie’s yellow eyes. Her long blond hair fluttered in the breeze. She wore a black bow tie, black suspenders, and a white shirt under her pink tuxedo.
Charlie lifted her finger into the air and colorful fireworks boomed in the sky.
Feeling free to express herself, the demon princess sang her lament.
 “At the end of the rainbow, there’s happiness
And to find it, how often I’ve tried
But my life is a race
Just a wild goose chase
And my dreams have all been denied”
 “A ray of hope in this world of black
I wish the world to be free of sin
But no matter hard I try
I can’t get by
I never seem to win”
  “Why have I always been a failure?
What can the reason be?
I wonder if the world’s to blame
I wonder if it could be me”
 “I’m always chasing rainbows
Watching clouds drifting by
My schemes are just like my dreams
Ending in the sky”
 “Some fellows look and find the sunshine
I always look and find the rain
Some fellows make a winning sometimes
I never even make the game
Believe me”
 “Will this world be a better place?
Or will loss never go away?
The choices I face, me, a disgrace
Loss of hope here to stay”
  “I’m always chasing rainbows
Watching clouds drifting by
My schemes are just like my dreams
Ending in the sky”
  “I’m always chasing rainbows
Waiting to find a little bluebird
In vain.”
   Not too far away from Charlie’s location, a slender female demon wearing a black dress, opened up red curtains and watched the fireworks in the sky. Toward the back was an overlord demon wearing a black top hat with a skull on it. His face was stormy gray and his four eyes were yellow. He casually sipped from a red goblet. Behind him was a shadowy figure of a cyclops woman…and Lucifer sitting on a chair, holding his cane.
 At Valentino’s Porn Studios, a demon named Vox with a TV head and a woman with dark violet hair posed for a selfie. The woman, Velvet, grinned and checked her phone. Valentino, the head of the company, was elaborately dressed in a fur coat with hearts, wore pink heart-shaped sunglasses and a dark pink top hat. He tapped his clawed finger impatiently as he glanced down at the messages.
 Valentino: Did you get my money, Angie baby?
Angel Dust: I’m wittha John now. I don’t get why this needed to happen so soon after the extermination tho. Boss.
Valentino: Just do it. No sass. K sugar.
Angel Dust: Yes, Val.
 Down below, a demon with a mane of hair proudly took a discarded weapon and left to sell it on the black market. An emotionless woman in a lab coat walked around with a clipboard, taking notes. Imps with top hats began to feast on the bloodied corpse in the street. Up above, a woman wearing a pink hat with feathers and skulls crossed out the word “Franklin” on the sign “Franklin and Rosie Emporium.”
  TURF WARS
 The time on the grand clock read 5:07, and down below, the next cleanse would occur in 365 days. A small blue demon fell down to the ground with a yell, a cloud of dust rising in the air. The demon had four arms and large red eyes. He touched his face and body, clearly relieved.
“Oh, I’m alive. I’m alive!” he exclaimed.
Immediately, he was run over by a speeding car, exploding in a flash of blood.
The car stopped on a road, where a Jackpot Hotel and Casino stood in the background.
A tall, white demon walked out of the car and rested his elbow on the top of the door. He slicked back the hair on his head with one of his pink gloved hands. Being a spider demon, he had multiple arms. He wore a black bow tie, tall stiletto boots, and a shirt with pink and white stripes. His irises were pink, the sclera in his left eye dark instead of white. Pink dots resembling small eyes were lined up below his eyes.
 “Thanks for the fun time, hot stuff,” said the driver.
The white demon closed the door. “Yeah, yeah, listen. Keep this discreet, hear me? I can’t let it get out I’m offering my services to randos on the street. It was a quick cash grab, ya got that?”
Travis, the dark owl demon scoffed. He wore a black hat and both his eyes were red. One eye had black sclera.
“Whatever you say, slut!” he mocked with a laugh.
The white demon cupped his face dramatically. “Ouch, ooh, such an insult!”
Travis stared nervously, a small heart in his left eye.
The white demon leaned in, showing a mouth full of fangs. “Let me know when you come up with something creative to call me, you sack of poorly packed horse shit.”
He poked Travis in the face with one hand, and grabbed his collar by one of his other hands.
“Tell the missus I said hi,” he added before giving Travis a quick kiss.
“Schnookums. She’s not coming back. Pack of poor…” Travis muttered, rolling up his window and speeding off. The car squealed and flipped over on its side in the air, falling with a loud crash.
 The white demon glanced over at a nearby store. A sign advertising a casino with a pack of cards on the front read, “Casino: just a few wins away.” Beside an elevator, was a fridge with an upside down cross on the front. A vending machine with the word “drugs” on it in white letters, caught the demon’s attention. Giddy with excitement, he walked over and glanced down at the options:
 Coke
Bojack
McWeedies420
Squip
Hero-in
Krunchy Krokodil
Angel Dust
  The demon pressed “Angel Dust” and a white sack fell to the bottom. With a greedy smile, he took it in his hand. Coincidentally, Angel Dust was also his name.
With a yoink, a small gray imp demon snatched the bag from Angel’s hands.
“Hey!” Angel called angrily.
“Up yours, drag show!” he taunted, before being crushed to death by a boulder.
“Oh my god!” Angel cried in terror, racing to the scene.
But it wasn’t the fallen thief he was concerned about.
“My drugs! Damn it!” he cursed, picking up a piece of the sack.
  Overhead were neon signs on top of buildings. One in yellow letters read “Begg Slut” and another one in teal: “I couldn’t think of a pun for our shop but we sell hard drugs!”
  Angel turned around and spotted a flying metal aircraft, which was firing lasers at buildings. It looked like an industrial rocket ship made with gears and a steampunk style to it. A metal hook hung from the bottom of it. The lasers struck the buildings, which caused bright pink explosions to fill the air.
From inside the ship, a serpent overlord stood high above over the controls, laughing manically. Down below, his deviled egg minions stood and watched. Each of them wore black top hats and pinstriped round clothing. They were called Egg Bois.
The room had deep purple walls, cabinets for the minions and decorations of their leader along the wall.
The overlord was Sir. Pentious. He wore a gray coat with yellow vertical stripes down the front. He had a black tail with yellow stripes and pink eyes all over. He wore a top hat with a moving pink eye and a grinning mouth of fangs. He sprouted a demonic grin of his own, his hood also full of several pink eyes.
 Up on the platform, he oriented two levers in his hands, the control button in the center displaying a pentagram design.
“Those other cowardly sinners dare not hinder my territorial takeover! A wise decision. The power of my machines are unmatched! No other demon can compare to the likes of I!”
One egg minion with #23 on his back added, “Gee that was pretty swell boss!”
“Yeah!” another chimed in: #666.
“You really showed them what for!” called a third.
Another minion teasingly ran his fingers up the overlord’s spine. “I like it when you shot them with your ray gun…”
Sir Pentious punched a minion out the window and whirled around in anger. The other minions backed up. “I wish he’d shoot me with his ray gun,” a minion whispered, head lowered.
Sir Pentious rolled his eyes at his masochist minions. He turned back to the controls and grinned. Pentagram circles revealed the areas he had taken over and the other territories ahead. “At this rate, I will seize control of the entire west side of the Pentagram by day’s end!”
He laughed and bragged some more. “And nothing, not a single beast in this inferno of suffering, will be able to take back this empire from my constrictive grasp!”
As to prove his point, he grabbed a minion in his tail and tightly squeezed him.
Another minion blew a noisemaker and then popped open a blue bottle of a brown drink. The overlord threw the minion across the room as the eggs celebrated down below.
“Hell will be mine,” he declared, “and everybody will know the name of Sir Pe…”
“Edgelord!” yelled a voice.
“Pardon?!” Sir Pentious shot back in shock. “Who said that?!”
He leaned in close to two of his minions, not pleased.
“What did you just say to me, you fried chicken fetuses?!”
The minions shook in fear.
“Speak up!” he hissed.
“It wasn’t us, mister boss man!” said a minion.
 Just then, an object shot through the glass at the front, creating a small hole. A small pink bomb with a black skull on the front, landed on the floor. Sir Pentious observed it for a moment…the bomb looked like a cherry…which could only mean…
The bomb exploded, covering the room in sparkles and thick red smoke.
Sir Pentious coughed and swiped some of the smoke away.
“You looking for a fight, old man?” a female voice challenged.
Sir Pentious spotted his rival standing proud and casually catching another bomb in her hand: Cherry Bomb.
Towering tall in pink high heel boots, ripped black jeans, a pink crop top with an x on the front, long strawberry blonde hair, a single pink eye with an x that took up most of her white face…a grin of sharp teeth…it was her alright.
“Why don’t you get that tinker toy bullshit off my turf before I smash it…” she declared before catching her bomb. A random barbell of metal crashed into the floor close to Cherri Bomb.
“…more.”
“Oh, you wanna go, missy?” Sir Pentious retorted. He flicked his hood back before opening it. Well, I’m happy to oblige!”
He let out another evil laugh as his minions closed in, holding stun guns, which crackled with yellow electricity.
But Cherri Bomb wasn’t scared. With graceful leaps, she avoided the blasts and threw down another bomb. She used the cover to escape, jumping down and swinging once from the anchor at the bottom of the flying craft. Landing gracefully on the ground, she continued her assault from below.
“Catch me if you can, snake man!”
“Get her!” he bellowed through the red smoke, the eggs quickly running around in a frenzy.
 The minions jumped to the ground after her, the overlord following suit. Cherri Bomb dodged a blast, grinned and picked up the minion egg. She spun around and threw the minion straight into Sir Pentious’ face. He threw the egg back at her, and she caught it with one hand.
“Thanks for the gift!” she called out, before cracking the egg open with an evil grin. She placed a bomb into it, then threw it back at him...straight to his face. Sir Pentious could only make a face of surprise before the egg blew up in pink smoke.
“Why you little…”
Cherri Bomb ducked as another egg sailed over her head.
 Just then, a familiar drug-addict white demon stomped on an egg minion and threw a grenade in the distance.
“Angel Dust!” called Cherri Bomb, happy to have her partner in crime arrive.
“Great to see you too, sweetie!” he teased.
Another pink explosion filled the air as the fight continued.
“Hey, thanks for the backup, Angie!” Cherri Bomb said as she fired a flaming red arrow with a large gun over toward Sir Pentious.
Angel Dust laughed, leaning against volcanic rock as cover. He threw a grenade over his head.
“You kiddin’? This is the best action I’ve seen in ages!”
A pink explosion rocked the streets.
“Where have you been anyway?” she asked. “I thought you up and died or some shit.”
“I wish,” he remarked as he lit another fuse and handed the bomb to his ally. She threw it forward, then ducked behind the rock next to Angel.
Angel continued, “I’ve been staying at this crappy hotel on the other side of town. Some boards are lettin’ me stay rent-free if I play nice.” They covered their ears.
A column of green smoke rose into the air with a fiery whoosh. The duo leaped over the rock and charged at the army of egg minions. Using four arms, Angel Dust fired rapidly from a gun at the minions, making some of them explode.
He sighed, and used one of his hands to gesture. “Y’know, no fights, no pranks, no “problematic language.” Her words, not mine.”
He tripped an unsuspecting minion, sending him into the air and exploding in a yellow yok mess. He waved a spiked club and continued firing his gun. A pot shop stood in the background, with marijuana leaves near the sign.
“These bitches are no fun!” Angel complained in frustration. Splatters of yok landed on his head and face. “I’ve been clean for two weeks!”
“Holy shit!” Cherri Bomb yelled after avoiding a green explosion and leaping into the air.
Angel scooped up yok with his finger. “Well, sorta clean.” He smashed apart another egg minion with his club. “As clean as you can get with a shitload of Bolivian marching powder.”
Angel’s shadowy silhouette displayed sharp fangs as Cherri posed in the background, one of her boots missing. A sign read “50% off meth” above a small super market.
A black chain wrapped tightly around Angel’s waist and chest, sending him flying backwards. Cherri Bomb gasped as her ally was pulled away. Sir Pentious threw the chained Angel Dust hard onto the ground a distance away. He landed with a thud against volcanic rock.
“Oh, harder daddy!” Angel teased with a wide smirk.
Sir Pentious gasped, eyes tearing up. “Son?!”
Angel Dust stared blankly, one eye raised, a look of disbelief on his face.
Cherri Bomb rushed into action, landing a sharp kick to Sir Pentious’ back. The villain landed on the ground, then hissed threateningly.
“You whores have no class!” he exclaimed. “In war, the side remembered is the side with the most…style.” He straightened his black bowtie with a spring.
Cherri Bomb broke open an egg and tossed the shells aside. Angel stood up, freeing himself from the chains.
“Or the side that ain’t dead,” she added.
“Speaking of style, is your hat like, alive or something’?
Sir Pentious hissed. “Oh, well, that’s none of your goddamn business, now is it?”
Angel continued, “Would that make your hat the top and you the bottom?”
He and Cherri burst into laughter. Even a pink “loser” sign pointed at the oblivious villain. “Ooooh,” said a minion near him. “One hellish burn.”
“I’m going to blow you to bits!” Sir Pentious yelled, pointing at them.
“Hmm! Kinky!” Angel teased.
An advertisement displaying a plate of, sausage, eggs and a tomato slice stood halfway buried in the ground. A glowing pink sign pointing down read “pussy.” Another yellow sign read, “Sex here.”
“I’m not like that! Pervert!” yelled the villain. Cherri Bomb and Angel Dust held in laughter.
Angel suddenly pushed Cherri Bomb out of the way, as an egg minion shot tendrils of claws from behind them. The claws had eyes in the center and grabbed onto Angel’s four wrists. He struggled to free himself, the cords stretching.
Sir Pentious chuckled. “Not so cocky now, are we?”
“Y’know, you really need to watch what’s coming out of your mouth,” Angel remarked. “Cocky…cumming, you get it?”
The villain didn’t respond.
Angel sighed. “I’ve been making these sex jokes the whole time!”
A drill poked out from the ground, Angel avoiding it. A minion held a drill in his small hands at Angel. Two extra arms popped out from Angel’s body, holding his rifle.
“And it’s obvious you ain’t catching on.”
He cocked his gun. “I mean, it’s just sad!”
He jumped into the air, freeing himself and firing the gun. The laser hit Sir Pentious, and his gray top hat fell off.
Cherri Bomb popped up next to Angel. “So, think you’re gonna get into a lot of trouble for this?”
“Eh, what’s one little brawl gonna cause?” He shrugged his shoulders and retracted his extra arms. Sir Pentious lay fuming on the ground.
More egg minions scrambled over to the edge of a high cliff, overlooking the scene. Egg shells and yok puddles littered the cracked street.
Cherri Bomb playfully elbowed Angel. “Glad ya haven’t changed. You know you’re my favorite guy to party with!”
“You know it, sugar tits,” Angel replied.
“You ready to finish this?” she asked. She rolled a bomb from one of her shoulders to her other shoulder, then into her hand.
Angel cocked his gun again. “Born ready, baby!”
The duo charged at Sir Pentious. Everyone yelled. More egg minions fell and Sir Pentious realized he was running out fast.
 After several more minutes of battle, Sir Pentious and his remaining minions retreated back to his ship. “This isn’t over, sluts!” he declared at his enemies. “I’ll have my revenge!” The ship hatch closed. The egg minions steered the ship and it rose into the air, almost sending the overlord flying out of the craft. He tossed out more minions in response before taking the controls and flying the craft away.
Angel and Cherri Bomb high-fived.
“See you around,” she said.
“Until the next brawl,” said Angel.
Cherri Bomb waved goodbye and blasted music from an Eye Pod (a device made from an actual moving eye. “Hello, daddy. Hello mom. I’m your ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb! Hello world! I’m your wild girl. I’m your ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb!” she sang out loud. Angel Dust laughed and continued on his way.
After buying some more amino and pot from the 666 Shop, Angel met with Charlie and Vaggie in a white monster limo. A great day indeed for the promiscuous demon.
  The Happy Hotel Interview
  Transcript during the 666 News:
“BREAKING NEWS: A LARGE SCALE TURF WAR IS UNDERWAY IN PENTAGRAM CITY BETWEEN SIR PENTIOUS AND CHERRI BOMB. THE SURROUNDING AREAS ARE COVERED IN DEBRIS, SO PLEASE AVOID DOWNTOWN ON YOUR COMMUTE TODAY. TRAFFIC IS “HELLA” BACKED UP. GET IT? “HELL” BUT WITH AN “A” AT THE END? THAT’S A WORD YOUNGER PEOPLE SEEM TO ENJOY USING. I DON’T REALLY LIKE IT, THOUGH. I WROTE IT BECAUSE IT SEEMED LIKE THE NATURAL KIND OF PUN TO MAKE FOR THIS SITUATION, BUT NOW THAT I SEE IT IN TEXT, I FEEL LIKE IT WAS A MISTAKE, A MISTAKE I CAN’T TAKE BACK…LIKE CHEATING ON MY WIFE. I’M SO SORRY, MARTHA. I SHOULDN’T HAVE DONE IT, BUT YOU DID GAIN A LOT OF WEIGHT AFTER THE BABY AND I REALLY NEEDED SOME SPACE. YOU KNOW, WHAT? NO, THAT WAS A GOOD CALL. I BANGED THE CLEANING LADY, AND THAT WAS A PRETTY NICE TIME, EVEN THOUGH SHE LAUGHED AT ME WHEN I TOLD HER I COULDN’T GET OFF UNLESS SHE LICKED MY FOOT FIRST. I DON’T SEE HOW THAT’S A WEIRD REQUEST. MAYBE IF I’D JUST GET A HOOKER, SHE WOULD’VE BEEN MORE AGREEABLE. THE POINT IS, MY WIFE IS A FUCKING BITCH. ONE TIME, WE WENT TO THE ZOO AND I GOT REALLY MAD BECAUSE I THOUGHT THE ORANGUTAN WAS MAKING FUN OF ME. HE KEPT DOING THAT STUPID DUCK LIP FACE? THEIR LIPS ALL PUCKERED? THEN IT STARTED SCREAMING, AND THAT REALLY PISSED ME OFF. MY WIFE TOLD ME IT WAS JUST A MONKEY, AND TO “CALM DOWN.”
 A neon logo appeared on the screen, displaying “666 News” in a circle with a neon eye underneath. The names of the news cast appeared on the bottom of the screen.
A skeletal demon woman with short blonde hair and a large toothy grin stood wearing a pink dress and a pearl necklace. Sitting at the other chair, dressed in a blue business suit was a demon with a gray gas mask for his face along with short white hair. They were live on the air.
 “Good afternoon!” said the woman. “I’m Katie Killjoy.”
“And I’m Tom Trench,” said the man. “Chaos at Pentagram City today as a turf war is raging on the west side between notable king Sir Pentious and self-proclaimed spunky powerhouse Cherri Bomb!”
Two pictures surrounded by flame borders showed Sir Pentious wearing a yellow “music band” shirt, doing a peace sign and wearing his top hat as a baseball cap with a dopey expression on his face. The other picture showed Cherri Bomb flipping the bird and standing under glittering spotlights.
“That’s right Tom!” Katie added. “After the recent extermination, many areas are now up for grabs! Demons all over Hell are already duking it out to gain new territory!”
The clips showed Sir Pentious fighting Cherri Bomb with his egg minions.
“Those two seem to really be going at it, huh? Looks like they’re fighting tooth and nail for that hot spot!” Katie popped a tooth and a nail into her mouth.
“And I’d sure like to nail her hot spot!” Tom Trench said with a chuckle.
Katie giggled forcefully. “You are a limp dick jackass, Tom. Or should I say…”
Adding insult and injury, she poured her hot coffee over his crotch…
“No dick!”
“Augh! Not again!” he groaned.
Another picture surrounded by a border of flames displayed Charlie with the letters “Princess of Hell” next to it.
Katie continued. “Coming up next, we have an exclusive interview with the daughter of Hell’s own head honcho, who’s here to discuss her brand new passion-project!”
Tom Trench winced in pain on the desk.
“All that and more after the break!”
She broke her mug in her hand, and turned to Tom Trench. “Suck it up you little bi…”
The TV went off air, displaying Katie’s mouth and eyes, colored bars and “off air” with a pentagram in the “O”.
  Inside the break room, Vaggie adjusted Charlie’s black bowtie. Nearby, a red tinted sign said that smoking was, indeed, allowed. Another sign read “on air,” in large letters.
“Okay, you remember what to say?” Vaggie asked.
Charlie took a deep breath, enthusiasm in her voice. “Yes! Let’s do this!”
Vaggie put a comforting hand on her shoulder. She signaled with two fingers for her to pay attention. “Just, look at me and I’ll mouth it to you.”
Charlie sighed. “Come on, Vaggie! I know what to say!”
She walked over to the pitcher of red punch. “I just feel like we need to…I don’t know, make things sound more exciting…”
She tossed a donut aside before gasping.
“Oh! What if I…”
“Sing a song about it?” Vaggie finished.
“You knew I was gonna say that.” She playfully tapped her friend on the nose.
Vaggie adjusted Charlie’s bowtie again and shook her shoulders. “Because I know you. But please don’t sing. This is serious.”
Charlie snapped her fingers and briefly winked. “Well, you know, I’m better at expressing myself through song!” She stood on the table and arched her arm dramatically. Down below, Charlie’s doll demons Razzle and Dazzle chewed on donuts.
“But life isn’t a musical, hon,” Vaggie reminded her.
“Fine,” Charlie said with a slump. Then she brightened again.
“But I do have these other ideas of what to say.”
She got off the table and pulled out a piece of paper, hopping excitedly. “The highlighted bits are my favorite parts!”
Vaggie took the paper and scanned it in disbelief. “Uh, it’s all highlighted. Is this a drawing?”
“Yes!” Charlie answered. She pointed to her picture. It showed a list that read: “4, unicorn kisses,” “5, dolphin high-fives?” and “6, sing show tunes = happy ending!” She drew stick figures of demons standing on clouds under a rainbow with a sun and red hearts with faces on them.
“That’s the happy ending, see? Everyone’s smiling and happy in Heaven!”
“I don’t think it’s that simple,” Vaggie stated. She then begged her: “Just please follow the talking points we went over.”
She pulled Charlie close and stared her directly in the eyes. “And do. Not. Sing.”
Charlie sighed exasperatedly. “Fine.” Then she trotted over and spoke in an accent. “I’ll just have to resort to my impeccable improve skills.” She gave a salute, several moves of her head and went outside.
Vaggie somehow knew that this would not be going well.
Charlie walked over to Katie Killjoy, who posed in her red dress, smoking a cigarette.
“Hi! I’m Charlie.”
She waved and held out her hand.
“Katie Killjoy,” the woman deadpanned before blowing out smoke and snapping her cigarette. “I’d say it’s a pleasure to meet you, but that would be a lie. You can put that away,” she regarded Charlie’s hand. “I don’t touch the gays. I have standards.”
“Yeah?” Charlie asked nervously, looking at a big flashing sign that read “Hell’s #1 News!” “How’s uh…how’s that working for ya?”
“Look, my time is money, so I’ll keep this short,” Katie cut in. She invasively tapped Charlie’s chest and nose with her finger. “We’re not here because we wanted you here. You’re here because Jeffry couldn’t make it for his cannibal cooking segment.”
Katie mentioned to a billboard that showed a tall man with glasses, short blonde hair with a white chef’s hat, a red apron, red suit, red horns, and a red devil’s tail. He held a platter of poop, skulls, and raw meat in his hands. Above it read “It’s Dahn Good! Cooking show: Guarantee Cannibalicious!” “Who approved this show?” was written on a sticky note tapped to the corner of the advertisement. Tom Trench shook his head in his seat. “Sex! Murder! Weather!” were displayed on a column three smaller signs.
Katie fluffed her hair, swayed her hips, and continued: “You might be some royal bigshot, but that doesn’t mean shit to me. I’m too rich and too influential to give a flying fuck about what some tux-wearing demon “princess” wants to advertise.”
“But I…” Charlie began.
“So don’t get cute with me, honey,” she warned, getting into Charlie’s face, “Or I will fucking bury you!”
“And we’re live!” said a voice.
Katie rushed back into her seat with a bony crack of her neck.
“Welcome back!”
Charlie sat in a chair next to her.
“So, Charlotte…”
“It’s Charlie,” she squeaked.
“Whatever,” Katie dismissed. She took a frustrated breath and clicked her red pen in her hand. “Tell us about this new passion project you’ve been insistently pestering our news station about!”
“Well…” Charlie cleared her throat. She looked nervously at the demonic crew in front of her. Vox, a demon with a TV head, had “words” flashed across the screen in angry red letters. There was a guy with a black top hat for a face, an Egyptian-like female with a white poodle, a woman with teal skin, a demon with glasses and green snake hair, a demon with two thin heads, several red horned demons and a few overlords. Another woman wore a hat with hanging beads and colorful Day of the Dead makeup on her face. Vaggie encouraged her to go on.
Charlie took a deep breath.
“As most of you know, I was born here in Hell, and growing up, I’ve always tried to see the good in everything around me.”
Katie clicked her pen impatiently. She spotted a green caterpillar and stabbed it with her pen with a predatory grin. Ink splattered on Charlie’s face and around the area.
Charlie continued, wiping off the dark pink ink from her face: “Hell is my home and you are my people. We…”
Vaggie gave her a thumbs up and a smile.
“…we just went through another extermination. We lost so many souls, and it breaks my heart to see my people being slaughtered every year. And no one is even given a chance!”
Charlie banged her fist on the desk, waking Katie from a bored drooling daze. A buff demon with horns and four eyes with a skull bull face wore a shirt with the word “crew” on it. An imp with a heart on his forehead stood nearby.
Charlie made her way forward. “I can’t stand idly by while the place I live is subjected to such violence! So, I’ve been thinking. Isn’t there a more humane way to hinder overpopulation here in Hell? Perhaps we can create an alternative way to change souls through…redemption?”
Charlie pulled the buff demon into a side hug. “Well, I think yes. So that’s what this project aims to achieve!” She ran back to the desk.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I’m opening the first of its kind! A hotel that rehabilitates sinners!”
 The audience stared in stunned silence. Not even the flesh-eating crickets were chirping through the awkward quiet.
 A bloodstained logo “Radio Hack” was displayed above a window which provided a stack of dozens of TVs inside. One demon watching had deer antlers and a flaming blue face, one of the many cruel overlords. Crymini, the 90’s hellhound, stood with a little demon wearing a jester hat upside down. Two hellhound twins stood nearby, one with dyed red hair, the other purple. A neon sign nearby read “Bar” “Klub Kanji,” and “used TVs.”
In a bar, dark demons wearing cowboy hats were playing pool, not even paying attention. The lead demon wore a cloth over his grinning face and had a large barrel gun for an arm. His friend looked like a demonic bug, and another looked like a mustached villain from an old film. Meanwhile in a bar, purple and blue dragon-like demons sat and drank while casually watching the TVs overhead.
Charlie stuttered, “Ya know…’Cause hotels are for people passing through…temporarily…”
A tattooed dark blue reptile demon stood up and let out a loud laugh.
“Is this girl for real? She thinks, you hear what she thinks? She…heh, heh, heh, oh she’s nuts.” The demon walked away with a small lavender creature and a tall maroon being wearing punk rock clothing and crazy neon hair.
Charlie added, “I figure it would serve a purpose…a place work toward redemption!” She weakly added, “Yay.”
 One demon leaped away as a tall shadowy figure stood in the background…
The figure stood right next to a ratted flier which read “Beware him! Do not fuck with him!” “The Radio Demon” was scrawled in white on demons screaming and fleeing from a monster with antlers overhead.
The man smiled and tilted his head a notch as he watched the TV with curiosity and amusement. His shadow next to him briefly morphed into a shadowy face with antlers on top. He spotted the fliers out of the corner of his red eyes, holding in a laugh.
“Who, me? ‘Obviously’ not! I’d never put on a show and make other demons flee to their graves.”
Just the thought of it got him excited.
 He had heard of the demon princess before, but he wasn’t expecting her to appear on TV. He certainly never heard of an idea so crazy before. Making sinners good people was even less likely than making pigs fly (which was one magic trick he could do on occasion).
When Charlie started to sing, the red eyed demon couldn’t help but tap his cloven feet and silently hum along.
“Haven’t been this entertained since I broadcasted my massacre of the ninth circle city. This pretty Charlie character is intriguing…”
 Befriending the princess, and doing something different seemed like a good idea. He glanced over at a faraway Happy Hotel building.
He knew where he would go next.
  Back at the news station, a cameraman with blue hair and a white face looked up and scoffed, “Stupid bitch.”
Vaggie punched him hard in the face in response, causing him to fall off the chair to the ground.
Charlie stared around her, concerned. “Look, every single one of you has something good deep down inside. I know you do.”
A light bulb went off into her head. “Maybe I’m not getting through to you…”
Vaggie face palmed, knowing what was coming next. “Oh no…”
Charlie snapped her fingers and her bodyguard demons appeared. One sat and began to play a grand piano.
 Summoning the Disney princess within her, Charlie belted out her song:
  “I have a dream
I’m here to tell
About a wonderful, fantastic new hotel
Yes, it’s one of a kind
Right here in Hell
Catering to a specific clientele”
 Razzle and Dazzle howled along…
The tempo rapidly picked up…
 “Inside of every demon is a rainbow
Inside every sinner is a shiny smile
Inside of every creepy hatchet-wielding maniac
Is a jolly, happy cupcake-loving child”
 “We can turn around
They’ll be heaven-bound!
With just a little time
Down at the Happy Hotel!”
 “So all you junkies, freaks and weirdos
Creepers, fuck-ups, crooks, and zeroes
And the fallen superheroes, help is here!
All of you cretins, sluts and losers
Sexual deviants and boozers
And prescription drug abusers
Need not fear
Forever again
We’ll cure your sin
We’ll make you well
You’ll feel so swell
Right here in Hell at the Happy Hotel!”
  “There’ll be no more fire
And no more screams
Just puppy dog kisses, and cotton candy dreams
And puffy-wuffy clouds
You’re gonna be like, wow!
Once you check in with me!”
 “So all your cartoon porn addictions
Vegan rants, psychic predictions
Ancient Roman crucifixions
End right here!”
 “All you monsters, thieves and crazies
Cannibals and crying babies
Frothing mouthers full of rabies
Fill with cheer!”
 “You’ll be complete!
It’ll be so neat!
Our service can’t be beat!
You’ll be on easy street! (Yes!)
Life will be sweet at the Happy Hotel!
Yeah!”
  Throughout the song, Charlie imagined giving a shiny cupcake to a masked killer, holding cotton candy and a brown puppy in her arms in the clouds…avoiding the attacks of every horror movie serial killer… (Music Logic)
She pictured throwing drugs into a bin of fire, giving shots to monsters, giving money to charity, disturbing porn additions with a bra…
Snatching a “My waifu” porn mag of out a demon’s hands…
Throwing away demon’s cell phones…
Knocking over crosses…
Avoiding a scary spider overlord with yellow bat wings and pink eyes all over his body…
Giving demons big hugs…
 Charlie emerging in her horned demon form from a flaming pentagram, and jumping with joy in a land full of candy, rainbows, and ice cream.
  Charlie finished with a pose on the table, arms in the air and panted.
The top hat demon smiled. “Wow! That was…shit!”
 The crowd burst into rancorous laughter and boos, including a blue demon made of fire in the boo section. Katie shrieked and banged her fist on the table.
“What in the nine circle of Hell makes you think a single denizen of Hell would give two shits about becoming a better person? You have no proof that this little experiment even works! You want people to be good just…because?”
Charlie lifted up her head. “Well, we have a patron already who believes in our cause, and he’s shown incredible progress!”
“Oh?” Katie asked, leaning in, “…and who might that be?”
“Oh just someone named…Angel Dust.”
“The porn star?” asked Tom Trench in disbelief. He subconsciously unzipped his zipper and Katie whirled on him; “You fucking would, Tom!” Her sharp nails left marks on the table.
Katie turned back to Charlie. “In any case, that’s not even an accomplishment. I’m sure you can get that hooker to do anything with enough booger sugar and lube.”
Someone wolf-whistled in the audience.
“Oh, I beg to differ,” Charlie argued, holding up her fingers. “He’s been behaved, clean, and out of trouble for two weeks now.”
 “Breaking news!” announced a voice as music came on. Excited, Katie pushed Charlie aside. “We are receiving word that a new player has entered the ongoing turf war! Let’s go to the live feed!”
To Charlie’s sheer horror, Angel Dust was seen on screen, crushing egg shells and fighting with Cherri Bomb.
“Oh shit,” she breathed.
“Oh shit indeed!” exclaimed Katie with a grin. “It looks like the one who has just joined the battle is none other than…”
She let out a dramatic gasp…”porn actor Angel Dust! What a juicy coincidence!”
The screen showed Angel Dust with the words “Angel Dust in ‘Well, Ok’: 18+.”
Satisfied, she turned back to Charlie. “You must feel really stupid right now.” Katie and Tom laughed again.
“Ratings!” Katie and Tom added with jazz hands.
“Don’t look at this!” Charlie called, waving her arms in vain from behind the screen.
“Well, it sure looks like your little project is dead on arrival. Tell us, how does it feel to be such a total failure?”
 Failure. Failure…Charlie could see her doubt reflected in Katie’s pink eyes and overbearing shadowy figure. Katie and everyone laughed some more, their jeers painful to Charlie’s ears.
“Yeah?” Charlie asked. She snatched up Katie’s red pen and held it triumphantly. “Well, how does it feel that I got your pen, huh? Bitch!”
Katie glared dangerously. Charlie dropped the pen with a nervous smile, “Oops.”
Katie grew taller, her form turning to shadow. Out sprouted claws, four extra sharp appendages, and four red eyes on her face like a spider. She launched herself at Charlie. Charlie pulled her hair and landed punches as the alarm went off in the news room. Katie crawled on the desk in all legs, baring her fangs before Charlie jumped at her and knocked her off the table. Tom Trench got so distressed that his entire body burst into flames.
Charlie ran out of the news room, Katie following her close behind, as everyone yelled.
“And stay out, you retarded dike!” Katie cussed as Charlie made a run for it down the sidewalk. Charlie was tempted to strangle the homophobic, news diva with her bare hands…but that would only contradict her goal…if she even had one anymore.
 Vaggie followed her and the two of them didn’t say a word as they waited for their ride. Soon enough, a white limo with a monster mouth on the front of the vehicle rolled to the curb. Vaggie and Charlie climbed in…and so did an ecstatic Angel Dust. The doors closed and they drove off toward the Happy Hotel.
 Car Ride to the Hotel
 Charlie had never felt so humiliated in her life. She sat in her seat and curled into herself. Once again, her ideas were dismissed, mocked, ridiculed. No one was willing to see the good in themselves. The demons were content to wallow in suffering, violence, and cruelty until the end of their afterlives. Tears were already threatening to spill from her yellow eyes, but she held them in.
Maybe her father was right. What if she really was a failure, like everyone said?
As if reading her mind, Vaggie gave her a small hug next to her. “You’re not a failure, Charlie. It’s just…no one understands your ideas. People think they’re…I don’t know…outlandish?”
She got a sad sigh from Charlie in response. “I just wanted to make things better for my people. I know I don’t feel much like a princess, but at the same time…I feel like it’s my duty…my destiny to being some cheer to this place.”
“Heh. No one can ever top your optimism,” Vaggie mentioned, with a playful roll of her eyes. “Your happiness can be spotted miles away.”
A small smile formed on Charlie’s face. “Well, at least I can pull myself up and keep going…”
Vaggie stared, hopeful…
“…But today isn’t one of those days.”
Vaggie slumped slightly. “I did warn you not to sing.”
“I couldn’t help it,” she countered. “How else was I supposed to get my message across?”
“Not everyone likes singing and music all the time.”
“My family does.”
“But the other demons aren’t your family.”
 Charlie stared out the window at the buildings whizzing by. “Sometimes I feel like my family is bigger than just my parents.” She turned to look at her girlfriend. “You’re my best friend, sorta like my older sister…and the only one who seems to get me. You’re part of my family already.”
Vaggie chuckled softly. “Without me, you wouldn’t have lasted very long out in the big world.”
“For once, I agree with you there,” Charlie replied.
During several minutes of silence, the two demon girls locked hands just out of sight. It was their habitual way of showing comfort, and it worked on the many days when Vaggie didn’t want any hugs.
“Don’t get too discouraged,” Vaggie said. “We’ll get back to the hotel and figure things out from there.”
“I kinda feel like singing another lament now.”
“Please don’t.”
“Fine.”
 The limo drove past the 666 Shop, the Nightmare Night Club, and an Evil Donuts store, complete with slime and worms displayed on the donut structure. Pink eyes decorated the ceiling of the car. Charlie curled into herself again, and took a puff of a breath. Even the painted eyes seemed to judge her every move. She glanced over at Vaggie, whose eye was twitching in annoyance.
Angel Dust was busy playing with the button, making the car window go up and down, up and down. He froze when he saw an angry Vaggie staring at him.
“What?” he asked with a shrug.
“What? What?!” Vaggie shouted, pulling out chunks of her long white hair. “What were you doing?!”
Angel sighed. “I owed my girl buddy a solid! Isn’t that a “redeeming quality?” Helping friends with stuff?”
“Not with turf wars that result in territorial genocide!”
“Eh, you win some, you lose a few hundred,” he said with a snicker. “It wasn’t that bad anyway.”
He propped up his long legs and pushed the window button again. Vaggie tossed a dagger at the button and it fizzed out in a shower of sparks. Angel stared, shocked and terrified. Vaggie growled in warning.
“Aw come on, I had to!” Angel protested. “My credibility was on the line!” He sighed. “I mean what kind of reputation would I have of people found out I was trying to go clean? It just throws out my entire persona.” He lifted up his furry chest.
“Your credibility?” Vaggie asked in anger. “What about the hotel? Your little stunt made us look like a fucking joke!”
“No, no no, babe. Jokes are funny! I made you look…uh, sad. And pathetic! Uh…oh with progeria!” Charlie covered her face with her hair as Angel blabbered on.
“Great! Now I’m bummed thinking about it! This thing have any liquor?” He bent down to the floor and tossed a bottle aside. He then flicked a wrapper away onto a seat.
Vaggie was fuming. “Can you please just try to take this seriously?”
“Fine, I’ll try. Just don’t get your taco in a twist, baby.”
“Was that you trying to be sexist or racist?”
“Whatever pisses you off more. Is there seriously no liquor in here?”
“I’m gonna kill him,” Vaggie swore, crossing her arms and sitting back down.
“Too, late, toots. Wait, would that make me double dead?” He laughed slowly and loudly. “And where exactly do I go to, double Hell?”
He laughed again. “Sorry, you’re stuck with me, bitch. Get used to it.”
Vaggie swore in Spanish (“Son of a rabies bitch”)
“Listen, who cares if some jagoffs got hurt?” Angel nonchalantly asked. “Most of them are ugly freaks. Look around! Got a bunch of fuckin’ harlequin babies down there.”
“You’re one to talk,” Vaggie muttered.
Angel laughed then yelled “Hey!” in protest. “This body is flawless! Everyone wants some of me and I’ve got the creepy fan letters to prove it!”
He pulled out a dirty piece of paper from his enlarged furry chest that read: “Show me your feet! Bryrin. #1 fan/critic.” There was a picture of a young angel in the lap of a naked man, licking Angel with his green tongue. He had a tattoo of Angel with a red crossed out sign.
This time, Charlie spoke up. “That was really uncool, y’know, Angel.”
Vaggie growled and turned to her friend. “Uncool?!” She mentioned to Angel. “After that train-wreck, there is no way anyone is gonna wanna stay at the hotel. All thanks to you and your selfish bullshit!”
Angel glanced at a discarded pile of ash and used cigarettes. “Does this mean I don’t get a free room anymore?”
Vaggie spread out her hands as if asking “Well, what do you think?”
He let out a mock sigh. “Ah, well, shucks.”
Charlie pulled off her dark pink shirt, revealing a white shirt with a black bowtie.
“Hey, come on, we don’t know if things are over yet. Try to relax, Vaggie. It’ll be okay!”
Now it was Vaggie’s turn to let out a small smile of thanks. Charlie placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, and her friend calmed down.
“What would I do without you?” Vaggie asked. She and Charlie slowly leaned into each other, their heads gently touching.
“Get a room, girls!” Angel remarked, before receiving a “Shut up!” from both of them.
 Finally, the deviant crew arrived at the Happy Hotel. It was an elegant building fit for any demon who wanted to stay a few nights. Eye designs lined the border of a dark pink canopy at the front like a creepy mosaic. Branches jutted out from the roof as part of the structure. Old fashioned lanterns attached to the wall had flames flickering inside, nonstop. The double doors consisted of stained glass windows with red apples in the center. Little stained glass snake eyes peered unblinkingly at them from around the larger window in the door.
 Angel, Vaggie, and Charlie got out of the car and threw open the double doors. A random black bug scurried away from the incoming light. A yellow sign read “Concierge” behind a pink “welcome” banner. The check in table was decorated with colored flags leaning toward the floor and random balloons with small star shapes on them. A vase was decorated with yellow eyes along the sides. Another flower pot was in the shape of a human mouth…white flowers posed above. Vaggie sighed and plopped onto a red cushioned couch in the style of a monster’s mouth.
The red rug down the hallway was decorated with the same eyeball designs, apples on the end, plus shadow skulls of horned monsters in the center.
All around the room, were pictures of Charlie as a little girl with her father and mother on various trips.
 Angel Dust came across a red fridge leaning low against the wall. He opened the door and pulled out a purple box labeled “Popsies.” He shrugged at the dripping ruined box and took out a popsicle. He gave it a lick, talking with his mouth full.
“It’s prolly a good idea to get some actual food in this place. Y’know, to feed all the wayward souls ya got in here.” He laughed nervously, trying to cheer Charlie up. But Charlie just sat sadly on a wooden box in a darkened area of the room. Angel closed the fridge door, sucked on a popsicle and reached out one of his arms to her…then hesitated. He walked away, letting her have some alone time.
Charlie walked past the two posing elephant statues balancing balls on their trunks, and toward the front door. She opened the door and went outside. Holding out her purple cell phone, (or “Hell Phone, hah, get it?”) she pressed an icon with the word “Mom” decorated with a heart and horns on the m’s.
Charlie took a deep breath as a voicemail tone came through.
“Hey Mom. Um, I know I keep calling, and you must be busy. Really busy. But, um…the interview didn’t go well and…I don’t know if I’m going to make a difference. I don’t know what I’m doing. I could really use some advice, Mom.”
She slid down and sat on the stone ground, tears falling from her eyes. “I think Dad was right about me. A-anyway, I’ll stop talking before this gets long. Love you! Bye.”
She ended the call with a tap and rubbed her eyes with her hand. Standing back up, she opened the door, closed it, and leaned against the stained glass window, eyes closed.
  Enter Alastor (and Sir Pentious)
 A slow ominous knocking from outside interrupted Charlie’s thoughts. She opened her eyes. It was a rhythmic knock, sounding like “shave and a haircut.” (Or was it “skunks in a barnyard”, or “imps in a cauldron?” She wasn’t sure.
   An ice cold feeling of dread spread through her veins. No other demon would ever do that kind of knock.
 Unless…
 She tentatively reached out her hand to the door handle, and quickly pulled it open.
 Sure enough, the most feared demon in Hell was standing right outside her door.
He towered over her, wearing dark red dress pants, a red dress shirt along with a dark red pinstriped coat underneath. His shoes were black with red hoof prints on the sides. The two black lines in the center of his dress shirt looked like an upside down cross.
Charlie slowly looked up at his red knotted bowtie, then to his thin gray face. His beaming smile displayed yellow sharp teeth and took up much of his face. On his head were red and black tuffs of hair and fur that resembled deer ears. There were even two small black antlers coming from his head. His sclera and eyes were crimson red, with an oval shaped monocle over his right eye. He carried a magical cane which resembled a vintage microphone.
 Charlie’s face morphed into sheer terror, eyes wide as saucers.
Eyes glowing red, the man began to speak.
“Hell…”
She slammed the door in his face.
Opened the door…
“…o.”
Slammed it again.
  Alastor stood, shocked in front of the stained glass door, smile still plastered on his face, hand and curved claw in the air.
 “Well… that was…rude,” he thought. “Usually people are too sacred to answer when I come by. Or they rush to try and please me because they know I could slaughter them at any time. I’ll just wait here then…or maybe break this door down…”
  “Hey, Vaggie?” Charlie called.
“What?” Vaggie replied in annoyance.
Charlie flashed a nervous smile. “The Radio Demon is at the door!”
“What?!” she demanded.
“Uh, who?” Angel asked. He sucked erotically on his popsicle.
“What should I do?” she asked, pulling at her lower eyelids.
“Well, don’t let him in!” said Vaggie.
 Charlie was tempted to do just that. But she also had a duty to not leave any sinners behind. She took a breath and opened the door again.
“May I speak now?” the demon asked.
“You may…” Charlie replied.
  The man held out his gloved hand. “Alastor, pleasure to be meeting you, sweetheart, quite a pleasure.”
He eagerly grabbed her wrist and leaned his face close to hers before strutting inside. Charlie stood, dumbfounded, her hand still out.
“Excuse my sudden visit,” he went on, “but I saw your fiasco on a picture show and I just couldn’t resist. What a performance! Why I haven’t been that entertained since the stock market crash of 1929!”
He bobbed his head side to side and burst into laughter. “So many orphans!”
Vaggie suddenly pointed a spear weapon at him. “Stop right there!” She swore in Spanish under her breath: “Carbon hijo de perra! (Son of a bitch!) I know your game. And I’m not gonna let you hurt anyone here, you pompous, cheesy, talk show shitlord!”
Angel peeked around the corner to see what was going on.
Alastor merely laughed slightly and nudged the weapon away with his fingers.
“Dear, if I wanted to hurt anyone here…”
He added in a low creepy tone, “I would have done so already.”
His red eyes briefly turned to red radio dials and radio static filled the room. He tilted his head slightly, letting his chaotic magic roam. Vaggie and Charlie were frozen in fear as they caught glimpses of red Voodoo symbols, static, and warped reality.
Then just as quickly, the noise and magic ceased and Alastor shook his head, eyes back to full red.
“No, I’m here because I want to help!” He bowed.
Charlie was sure she hadn’t heard him right.
“Say what now?” she asked, eyebrows raised.
“Help!” he responded with another laugh. He held up his microphone staff. “Hello? Is this thing on? Testing, testing…”
He tapped it and a glowing red eye appeared in the center. “Well, I heard you loud and clear!” the microphone responded, eye shaking in fear.
“Um…you want to help?” Charlie asked.
 Alastor appeared behind the demon girls, hands on their backs, switching from a shadow to his regular self. Both Vaggie and Charlie flinched.
“With…” he mentioned in an imitation of Charlie’s voice,
“…this ridiculous thing you’re trying to do!” finishing in his normal voice. “This hotel!”
Charlie could hear the call bell ding twice on the table, even though no one was there to ring it.
“I want to help you run it.”
“Uh…why?” Charlie asked, confused.
Alastor laughed again. “Why does anyone do anything? Sheer absolute boredom! I’ve lacked inspiration for decades!”
He placed his elbow on an annoyed Vaggie’s head. Then shoved her aside.
“My work became mundane, lacking focus, aimless! I’ve come to crave a new form of entertainment!”
He laughed again.
Charlie looked downcast. “Does getting into a fist fight with a reporter count as entertainment?”
“It’s the purest kind, my dear! Reality! True passion! After all, the world is a stage! And the stage is a world of entertainment!”
Charlie brightened a bit. “So, does this mean that you think it’s possible to rehabilitate a demon?”
Alastor help up a hand and laughed. “Of course not. That’s wacky nonsense! Redemption, oh the non-existent humanity! Nononono, I don’t think there’s anything left that could save such loathsome sinners! The chance given was the life they lived before; the punishment is this! He spread out his arms. “There is no undoing what is done!”
“So then, why do you want to help me if you don’t believe in my cause?” Charlie asked.
Alastor smirked and looked at Charlie over his shoulder. “Consider it an investment in ongoing entertainment for myself!” He pulled her close to him with his arm and twirled her around in a quick dance. “I want to watch the scum of the world struggle to climb up the hill of betterment! Only to repeatedly trip and tumble down to the fiery pit of failure.”
“Right…” Charlie began, slowly removing his clawed hand from her shoulder.
Alastor took her aside for a walk. “Yes indeedy! I see big things coming your way, and who better to help than I.”
 “Ah, so uh, what’s the deal with Smiles over there?” Angel asked Vaggie.
“Wait, you’ve never heard of him before?” Vaggie asked. “You’ve been here longer than me!”
Angel shrugged his shoulders.
“The Radio Demon, one of the most powerful beings Hell has ever seen?”
“Eh, not big on politics,” he replied.
Vaggie, annoyed, leaned in close to explain.
“Decades ago, Alastor manifested in Hell, seemingly overnight. He began to topple overlords who had been dominant for centuries. That kind of raw power has never been harnessed by a mortal soul before. Then, he broadcast his carnage all throughout Hell, just so everyone could witness his ability. Sinners started calling him The Radio Demon. (As lazy as that is). Many have speculated what unimaginable force enabled him to rival our world’s most ancient and destructive evils. But one thing’s for sure: He’s an unpredictable source of danger, a wicked spirit of mystery, and a violent monster of chaos, the likes of which we can’t risk getting involved with unless we want to end up erased.”
“Ya done?” Angel asked with a snicker. “He looks like a strawberry pimp!”
“Well, I don’t trust him!” Vaggie argued.
To be fair, do you trust any man? Any men? Men?” Angel asked with a slight laugh.
Vaggie ignored him and walked up to her friend.
“Charlie, listen to me. You just can’t believe this creep! He isn’t just a happy face! He’s a dealmaker, pure evil! He can’t be redeemed! And is most likely looking for a way to destroy everything we’re trying to do.”
“I…” Charlie began. “…we don’t know that. Look…I know he’s bad, and I know he probably doesn’t wanna change, but the whole point of this is to give people a chance! To have faith things will be better! How can I turn someone away? I can’t. It goes against everything I’m trying to do. Everything I believe in.”
Alastor stared in fascination at a family picture on the wall. It showed Lucifer dressed in white, Lilith in a dark purple dress, and Charlie as a little girl wearing a brown and white dress in the middle. The picture border consisted of branches and yellow eyeballs and a dried rose in the upper right hand corner.
 “Such a lovely portrait! A picture of perfection! It’d be such a shame if something awful were to happen to them…”
 “Just trust me,” Charlie added placing comforting hands on her girlfriend’s shoulders, “I can take care of myself.”
Charlie,” warned Vaggie, “Whatever you do, do not make a deal with him!”
From a distance, Alastor opened up the palm of one hand, claws curled inward. Both girls glanced in his direction, worry on their faces.
 “I’ll have these two in the palm of my hand…”
 “Don’t worry, Charlie replied to Vaggie. “I picked up one thing from my Dad…” she spoke in a manly voice, “Ya don’t take shit from other demons!”
Gathering her courage, Charlie marched over to the Radio Demon.
“Ok, so…Al. You’re sketchy as fuck, and you clearly see what I’m trying to do here is a joke. But I don’t.”
Red Voodoo symbols appeared around Alastor, then vanished.
Charlie continued. “I think everyone deserves a chance to prove they can be better. So, I’m taking your offer to help. On the condition that there be no tricks or voodoo strings attached.”
Alastor twirled his cane and held out his hand. “So it’s a deal then?”
Flashes of eerie green light surrounded him, electricity snaking up the walls.
“Nope!” Charlie yelled, holding out her hands. The energy stopped. “No shaking! No deals! I…hmm…”
Charlie decided to try another approach.
“As princess of Hell, and heir to the throne, I uh, hereby order that you help with this hotel, for a long as you desire.”
A moment of pause…
“Sound fair?” she asked.
“Fair enough. Cool beans.” Alastor shrugged, walking on and making his cane disappear. Charlie breathed a sigh of relief and even did a thumbs up.
Alastor stopped and spotted Vaggie off to the side. He smirked in a way outside observers would describe as lecherous. He tickled her under her chin with a finger.
“Smile, my dear! You know you’re never fully dressed without one!”
Alastor hummed happily on his way, while Vaggie growled in disgust and rage.
“So…where is your hotel staff?” Alastor asked.
“Uh, well…” Charlie began. Alastor peered at Vaggie through his monocle. “Oh ho ho ho, you’re going to need more than that.”
He walked over towards Angel.
“And what can you do, my effeminate fellow?”
Angel grinned. “I can suck your dick!”
“Ha! No.” Alastor deadpanned.
“Your loss,” Angel said with a slight laugh. Alastor summoned his cane.
“Well, this just won’t do!” Alastor exclaimed. “I suppose I can cash in a few favors to liven things up!”
 The spell came easily in his mind: “dife sèvitè, reveye.”
  He snapped his fingers and a fire sparked to life in a small circular fireplace. Animal skeletons decorated either side of the wall.
A dark figure plopped down onto the chimney floor.
Alastor walked over and picked up the creature with his hand. A large single yellow eye was revealed. Angel, Vaggie, and Charlie peered at the creature. In a puff of smoke and a squeak, the creature revealed herself. A cute cyclops girl was wearing a pink dress with a poodle on the front, her short wide hair dark magenta with a streak of yellow.
“This little darling is Niffty!” Alastor introduced, before dropping her. She landed on her feet.
“Hi! I’m Niffty!” she greeted with a wave. “It’s nice to meet you! It’s been a while since I’ve made new friends!” She laughed slightly and her pupil grew smaller, darting in circles.
“Why are you all women?” she asked. “Have any men here?! I’m sorry, that’s rude.” She missed the fact that Angel was male, for obvious reasons.
She briefly picked up Charlie, while Vaggie held her spear defensively at her.
“Oh man, this place is filthy!” she exclaimed, running around and lifting up couch cushions. “It really needs a lady’s touch, which is weird, because you’re all ladies, no offence.” She chewed on a black spider she found, then rushed toward some stained glass windows.
She darted around, using a dust ruffle to clean them. “Oh my gosh, this is awful! No, no, no…Nope!”
She raced around, removing cobwebs, then poking at a piece of a voodoo doll. Well, it was actually a live blue beetle doll that Alastor had stabbed with a clothing pin for Niffty to play with. Alastor looked amused, while the others stared in disbelief.
 “So fortunate of me to have met her in Hell. A former chimney sweeper in the 20th century. Heard she died from too much smoke. Services are still good! Though, I didn’t give her much of an option to begin with…”
   Meanwhile, at a casino, a cat demon placed a joker, an ace, a 2, and a fourth card down on the table. He had black and white fur, wore a black top hat and had red wings with card suits decorated on them. He also had long red eyebrows and wore a red bow tie.
“Ha!” he declared in triumph. “Read ‘em and weep, boys!”
He suddenly felt himself being forcefully pulled out of the room through space and time.
“Full…whoa!”
 “Transpòte ganbadeur la.”
 He ducked as a curtain of red energy surrounded the existing space. Voodoo symbols flashed in the background along with eight yellow eyes, a creepy voodoo skull and a purple skeleton of a worm-like creature. Another voodoo skull with horns appeared for a moment not too far from tan ghost-like spirits with creepy faces and a row of jagged teeth.
 The cat demon figured he must have had too much booze to drink.
 “…the hell?”
 As the images faded, he soon found himself at the hotel bar, not in the previous room at the casino. A large “Come and play Blackjack” sign took up much of the wall behind him. Most peculiar, the gray wood walls were missing halfway up, replaced by the red themed décor of the hotel. Husk was sitting in a portion of the casino he was in. It felt like he was in a house with no roof surrounded by the outside world.
 “What the fuck is this?”
He saw Alastor and pointed an accusing claw.
“You.”
“Ah, Husker, my good friend!” Alastor cheerfully greeted. “Glad you could make it!”
Alastor’s head briefly had the appearance of large antlers sticking out from either side. When he moved it, it was revealed to be an antler skull with glowing green eyes hanging in the background. Snakes were wrapped around one of the white curtains supporting a bar stand. “Big Booze,” “Welcome” and “Big Soul” signs were placed overhead on the stand. Neon green card suits consisted of the designs at the bottom of the stand.
“Don’t you “Husker” me, you son of a bitch!” Husk spat, and swiped Alastor’s hand aside from his shoulder. “I was about to win the whole damn pot!”
Husk stared in anger as the stacks of money and chips on the table vanished in static.
“Good to see you too!” added Alastor.
Husk face palmed. “What the hell do you want with me this time?”
Alastor grabbed hold of him, startling him so much that cards fell from his hands.
“My friend, I am doing some charity work, so I took it upon myself to volunteer your services! I hope that’s okay.”
Husk was taken aback. “Are you shittin’ me?!”
“No, I don’t think so,” Alastor replied. He casually brushed off his sleeves.
Husk shoved the Radio Demon off him. “You thought it would be some kind of big fuckin’ riot just to pull me outta nowhere? You think I’m some kinda fuckin’ clown?”
“Maybe.”
Audience laughter emitted from the microphone.
“I ain’t doin’ no fuckin’ charity job,” Husk protested.
Alastor appeared next to him. “Will I figured you would be the perfect face to man the front desk of this fine establishment.”
He pointed toward the bar stand with the staff. The sound of audience clapping came from his radio staff.
“With your charming smile and welcoming energy…”
Alastor spread the corners of Husk’s mouth upward into a demonic smile of yellow teeth. Husk frowned seconds after he let go.
“…this job was made for you!”
Alastor strutted over toward the bar stand, the soles of his shoes revealing red hoof prints as he walked.
“Don’t worry, my friend,” Alastor continued, “I can make this more welcoming…if you wish.”
With a curve of his fingers, a green bottle of cheap booze appeared on the counter.
Husk stared with wide eyes, suddenly very thirsty. He swore he could hear the sound of a slot machine.
“What, you think you can buy me with a wink and some cheap booze?!” He took the bottle on anger. “Well you can!”
He immediately guzzled it down and walked away.
 “Too easy,” thought Alastor.
 By this time, Charlie, Vaggie and Angel Dust had arrived to see what the commotion was about. Vaggie rushed toward the bar, furious.
“Hey, hey, hey, hey!” yelled the moth demon. “No, no bar, no alcohol. This is supposed to be a place that discourages sin! Not some kind of…mouth, brothel, man-cave…”
Angel lunged himself into her, knocking her to the floor.
“Shut up! Shut! Up! We are keeping this.” He pointed at Husk with multiple gloved hands.
He slid up to Husk. “Hey,” he said in a flirtatious voice.
“Go fuck yourself,” Husk deadpanned, drinking his booze.
“Only if you watch me,” Angel retorted.
To make matters worse for Husk, Charlie leaned in close to him, excitement and red stars in her eyes.
“Oh my gosh! Welcome to the Happy Hotel! You are going to love it here!”
“I lost the ability to love years ago,” Husk replied, gulping down more booze.
Alastor walked in, an ever-present grin on his face.
“So, what do you think?”
Charlie ran over to him. “This is amazing!” she beamed.
“It’s okay,” Vaggie said from nearby, arms crossed.
 Alastor laughed and pulled the two girls close to him. “This is going to be very entertaining!”
  Alastor conjured fire in his hand…Charlie stared in wonder at the flames and the voodoo symbols. He pushed Vaggie aside and changed his attire. He now wore a fancy red suit with a white undershirt and a black bow tie. A red top hat appeared on his head, complete with small spikes along the black band and two needles sticking out from the top. He twirled Charlie around in a dance, the princess looking stunned. Pointing his finger over her head, he transformed Charlie’s outfit. Her blonde hair was now short and wavy. She wore an elegant black and red dress, black gloves, a pink hat with a small black bow and black heels. She looked like a dapper lady from the early 20th century.
 Charlie stared at her conjured clothing in amazement.
Vaggie was on the floor, fuming.
Alastor picked Charlie up and threw her into the air. She yelped in delight and landed gracefully next to him. Two glowing apples and a skull with deer horns flashed in the background.
Reality had been altered to the Radio Demon’s liking. The entire room was lit in psychedelic colors. Voodoo symbols and shapes were etched in every nook and cranny, including a pair of pink claws reaching for the door. Alastor and Charlie waltzed in the spotlight as electro swing music began to play in the distance. The all-encompassing noise, though, was the signature radio-static sound.
 Alastor sang his reprise to Charlie:
“You have a dream
You wish to tell
And it’s so laughable
But hey kid, what the hell! “
 Charlie found herself sliding down one of the apple-etched railings, Alastor leading the way. They landed on the lower floor as Alastor continued his reprise.
Deer statues and painted antlers were everywhere.
Back at the bar stand, Husk sat looking bored. Vaggie hissed at Angel grabbing onto her shoulder, while Niffty stared in wonder. Alastor snapped his fingers and their outfits changed as well.
Angel was wearing a neon pink suit, Husk a pink bow tie, Vaggie a dark dress, with her hair now smooth and long, and finally Niffty, with a cute top hat with small flowers.
 “‘Cause you’re one of a kind
A charming demon belle!
Now let’s give these burning fools a place to dwell
(Take it, boys!)”
 Alastor snapped his fingers once more and shadowy imps rose to life from a hole in the ground. The happy spirits played a trumpet, a tuba, and a drum set. Charlie snapped her fingers to the beat, while Vaggie watched with worry. She reached out to her friend but was pulled away by Alastor. He enveloped the group into a tight hug, followed by glowing images of dark spirits staring at them. Niffty watched in amazement, but not the other three.
Alastor pulled Husk and Angel close again. He rubbed Angel’s head with a white hat and went on his merry way. Husk gave him the bird as he left.
Vaggie stood, annoyed in the spotlight. Using his cane, Alastor added a feathered peacock hat and a white fox fur to her outfit. Then out of nowhere, he slapped her butt.
“Pompous pervert!” Vaggie thought in rage as he wondered away.
Alastor danced some more, kicking a horned skull to the side. In the background, Niffy happily swept up the bits of bone.
 “Inside of every demon is a lost cause
But we’ll dress ‘em up now with just a smile!
(With a smile!)
And we’ll chlorinate this cesspool
With some old redemption flair
And show these simpletons some proper class and style!
(What’s in style? Oh!)”
 He made his way to the circular fireplace, where he waved his staff. Shadows arrived to join the party, including a shadowy version of himself, with large antlers and fangs. He made it disappear in a poof, then snuck toward Charlie. He led her in an upbeat dance, spinning her around, helping her match her steps to his. Charlie blushed when toyed with her cheeks. As Charlie was led away, Vaggie stood in the background, horrified and disgusted. What was happening to her friend?
Charlie and Alastor laughed as they danced, the princess locked in a happy trance.
 “Here below the ground
I’m sure you’re plan is sound!
They’ll spend a little time
Down at this Hazbin Ho…”
  Alastor was about to finish his song, when an explosion burst apart a window behind him.
  Niffty stared in amazement, shouting “Whoo!” before she was blasted backwards, the door hitting her in the face.
 Alastor’s spell soon wore off and everyone was back in their regular clothes. Alastor, Husk (still drinking), Niffty, Charlie, Angel, and Vaggie, peered out of the hole to see what was going on. Vaggie had her weapon at the ready.
 Looking skyward, the group saw a cracked blimp in the air. It had a small random band aid with a sad face on it along the rim. A familiar snake villain popped out of his hideout.
“Ha!” Sir Pentious laughed. “Well, well, well, look who it is harboring the striped freak! We meet again, Alastor!”
Apparently, he was also rivals with Alastor.
But Alastor simply asked, “Do I know you?”
The snake boss looked disappointed. Then he said in anger, “Oh yes you do! And this time, I have the element of…surprise!”
The villain raced toward his pink velvet chair and pulled a lever. A metallic cannon lowered to the ground. The cannon fired up with pink energy as pink smoke appeared around them.
“He laughed manically. “I’m so evil!”
Then he added, “I have an Egg army!”
 “Well, we have an Alastor,” Charlie responded.
 Alastor snapped his fingers, red tendrils of smoke rising from his hand. The weapon froze in mid fire and a fiery portal opened up below the blimp.
 A horde of black tendrils rose from the hole, latching onto the ship. One tentacle ripped off the cannon and threw it into another smaller portal, causing it to explode in pink smoke. One of the tentacles had already smashed a hole in the large round window.
Sir Pentious looked on in shock as his Egg Bois slammed against the wall (one of them read #Ouch.) One of the eggs cracked open, spilling out yellowish brains and small organs among the stains of yok. Sir Pentious and another minion were thrown against the wall.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” he screamed before he was slammed against the ceiling by a black limb.
“Oh, that hurt!” he cried.
Sir Pentious screamed as he was dragged along the floor and lifted up slightly. He was held in place, surrounded by the wrapped up tendril. At once, the tendril shrunk and squeezed the helpless snake. The Egg Bois ran around screaming as black cracks appeared on the floor and walls.
From the outside, more black tendrils were closing in. Red voodoo symbols appeared around the blimp.
 “Ede m 'sèrviteur.”
Four horned shadowy spirits with red auras floated around, wearing toothy grins.
 The tendrils were now wrapped around the entire blimp, holding it in place like thick black vines.
 Red radio waves filled Alastor’s eyes as he circled his fingers and worked is magic. Voodoo symbols appeared all around him as he altered the state of reality. Radio static consumed the air.
The vines thickened and completely enclosed the blimp. The spirits swooped around it in excitement, with echoing shrieks. The aura around the tendrils glowed a fiery yellow, the same color as the portal rim.
 “Kalfu! Destriksyon pa bra nwa.”
 Alastor closed his four-fingered hand which began to glow. The tendrils proceeded to crush the blimp. Pink rays of light shot from the center and the blimp exploded in a loud BOOM!
Pink smoke spread everywhere as the spirits sped away. The tendrils broke into severed bloody pieces that rained down to the ground. Alastor smiled victoriously, while behind them, the group of five stared in utter terror and shock. (Save for Niffty who had a small smile on her face).
 “Well, I’m starved!” Alastor exclaimed, turning around to face the group. Who wants some jambalaya?” He spread his arms out. “My mother once showed me a wonderful recipe for jambalaya! In fact, it nearly killed her!”
He laughed as he led the way back to the hotel. The others followed.
“You could say the kick was right out of Hell!”
He added while laughing at his own joke, “Oh, I’m on a roll!”
Charlie and Niffty smiled while Husk, Angel, and Vaggie looked on with concern. Angel blew Husk a kiss, which earned the druggie demon a glare from the gambler. Charlie turned to Vaggie excitedly. Vaggie reluctantly went along with Charlie’s idea, even giving her a small supporting smile. As long as Charlie was happy, then she was alright, too.
From up above, the hotel looked like a mashed-up haunted house. An old dark train was perched on a balcony, with some monstrous faces carved in. A ship, reminiscent of the Titanic, was leaning upwards against the building as part of the structure. An old carousel served as part of the upper balcony and windows. Skull designs decorated the small windows in a row. Finally, on top of a giant yellow eye, was the sign “Happy Hotel” supported by pillars of worn wood.  
Alastor continued, “Yes, sir, this is the start of some real changes down here! The game is set! Now…”
 He glanced up and pointed his finger toward the sign. Pink electricity shot out and made contact with the sign.
The sign now read “Hazbin Hotel.”
 “Stay tuned,” he finished with a low sinister laugh.
 Back at the crater, smoke took the faces of demons and rose into the air. Broken egg minions littered the ground. One minion rubbed his head. With a shaking arm, Sir Pentious lifted himself up from the gaping hole, fangs shattered.
“Now will you shoot me with your ray gun?” asked the minion.
Sir Pentious face-planted on the ground in response.
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