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listentothelittlebird · 3 years

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Introducing the Fairness Federation (aka how to derail a conversation)

So I’m notorious among my friends for 1) not using autocorrect and 2) not correcting typos before sending messages

anyway I try to type “nice” and instead:

[Image ID: A chat conversation. The sender sends “Buce” then “Bice” before finally typing “Nice” correctly. The reply is “Buce”. Sender says, “I got no words right”, then “Letters”. Reply then says, “It’s like a Walmart Bruce”, then “Buce Wayne”. Sender sends four letter “H”s in all caps, “HHHH”. The reply continues with “Buce wane”. End ID.]

My friend goes on to question how a “knock-off Batman” will be marketed, and presents the following variations: - Flying mammal man - Baseball equipment man - Batmale “It’s perfect,” she says, “Batmale aka Buce Wane.” And she doesn’t stop there.

Extraordinaryman, Watermale, Wondrous Female. Feline Lady and Crimson Head Covering come next, because she’s naming them off the top of her head based off of names gleaned from the random memes I send her about this fandom that she is not actually a part of but actively entertains my nonsense nonetheless. Which is how she knows Superboy simply as The Cheese Guy.

Speed or Speedy, followed by Green Light.

“There’s already a Speedy,” I inform her.

“Darn.”

(As the friend who actively enables my nonsense, she did consent to this post)

[Image ID: messages from the sender, saying “How do I preempt this post though”, typoing though into “rho”, corrected into “tho” in the next message. Then, in quotations, “I made a type”, followed by the correction in all caps, “A TYPO*”. End ID.]

Other knock-offs include: Robin as Bird Beast Boy as Creature Lad Raven as Partyn (rave = party) Nightwing as Daylimb Red Lanterns as Red Lights (haha, Red Lights)

“Tim Drake is now Jim Duck. Red Bird. Which makes his full first name Jimothy.” “What would a knock-off Justice League be called,” I ask, because I needed a title for this chaotic post.

The first synonym Google showed her was “Fairness”, thus, “The Fairness Federation”.

“Love how this all started with me clowning you about a typo,” she says, to which I reply, “You clowned me so hard I’m making it into a tumblr post.” “Yes,” she says, “Incredible.”

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aubzylynn · 7 years

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Hi :] I followed you recently, and I'm glad I did. I like your Bucky cuddle drabbles, and I think you're really talented. If it's not too much trouble, could you maybe do a headcannon for dating pre-serum Steve? Thanks 💜

Thank you, love! You’re too sweet @sarahwroteathing for being an angel and always helping me with everything.)

Dating pre-serum Steve

It started off a little weird. Steve’s been your best friend since you met him. But he was laughing really hard at something you said–so hard he had tears in his eyes. Something bubbled up in you, and you leaned in real close and stole a quick kiss from his plush lips.

He stops immediately. Well, that’s new. He’s looking at you with those deep blue eyes, waiting for an answer…but you don’t have one. It was an impulse. Why had you done that?

Steve licks his bottom lip subconsciously and scoots close to you, going slowly so you have a chance to tell him if you don’t want this. But you suddenly realize you do–you want him with every fibre of your being. His kiss is hesitant, still waiting for you to push him away. After the initial shock of the situation, you kiss him back more surely.

He shows you off all the time.

On your first date, Steve takes you dancing because that’s what he’s supposed to do, right? That’s what Bucky does with all the dames he takes out. Despite all the practicing he and Bucky do before your date, Steve is so self conscious. He doesn’t want to make a fool of himself in front of you. But, you see him fumbling as he shoots you shy, nervous smiles when he misses a step. Your heart swells with affection for him as you decide to pretend to be equally hopeless. You trip over his foot a couple times, go for a spin when there clearly wasn’t a call for one. Steve loosens up as you both make up outrageous dance moves for the ones that can’t be done.

Bucky gets wind of it and refuses to go on a double date with this trainwreck of a couple until you get some dance lessons.

Bucky insists to teach you both himself in the boys’ apartment. He’s moved the furniture around to accommodate a dancefloor. You’re a pretty decent dancer, truth be told; but you keep up appearances for Steve’s sake. That, and it’s actually a lot more fun to botch dance moves with Bucky than you would have initially thought. The teasing was well worth hearing your man laugh until he couldn’t breathe. Literally. Poor baby agitated his Asthma more while laughing with you and Bucky than anything else.

Steve will realize one day that he’s still talking to you like you’re just his best friend Y/N. He gets a bit self conscious about it, and is determined to treat you more like a lady. You’re his girl, after all, and you should be treated like a queen. He stutters ‘more appropriate’ compliments out, blushing as soon as he sees the questioning look on your face. When you ask him what’s going on, he tells you that he’s trying to treat you like a girlfriend. You giggle, kissing his cheek and making him blush again. “You don’t have to worry about that, Stevie. I fell for you because you were my friend.”

Steve compliments you all the time. His goal is to make you blush at least once a day. Some days, though, it gets to be too much and you have to kiss him just to shut him up.

Just because Steve is you boyfriend now, doesn’t mean you don’t still hang out like you did before. You, Steve, and Bucky still go down to the creek and skip rocks together. You all still go to the railroad and have adventures in your abandoned railway car. Just because you and Steve steal kisses when you think Bucky isn’t looking, doesn’t change that the three of you are still best friends.

His notebooks are full of sketches and doodles of you, of your individual features. There’s a lot of your eyes, of your smile…conveying every emotion between the nose scrunch you do when he compliments you, to the little frown that pulls at your lips when Bucky says something unsavory (it doesn’t happen often, Bucky’s usually a gentleman around you), to the dreamy look you get in your eyes when you see a mother pushing her baby in a stroller.

One day, Steve is so caught up in watching you as you watch kids play at the park. “I’m gonna marry you.” He blurts it out with such sincerity, he blushes deeply. You just smile at him coyly. A sweet laugh falls from your lips and it makes Steve tumble further into the void. You spend the rest of the day proposing to Steve in crazy ways while he laughs, “Shaddup, Dollface.”

When he gets sick during the winter after his mom passes, you refuse to leave his side. He tells you that you’re gonna get sick, too, if you keep hanging around him; but, you don’t care. You and Bucky get scared for a couple of days. You both think it could be a possibility that this is the illness that will finally claim Steve’s life. But the little runt always proves you both wrong.

Steve’s such a sap about it. “I only made it because you stayed with me. I guess I have to marry you, now. You’re the only thing keeping me alive.” You’re so relieved that you’re crying and laughing so hard you have to bury your face in his chest. When you finally calm down, you place a delicate kiss on his forehead and smile fondly at him. “You’re darn right you do, you chucklehead.”

Steve’s gotten into less fights being with you. You’re so in sync with him that you know what makes his blood boil. His righteousness has bled into your being, and you can’t help but mouth off to any bully that you two come across. Even when they continue with their wrongdoing, you refuse to back down until they stalk off with their tail between their legs. Steve always goes a little starry eyed when this happens.

When the war breaks out, you know Steve will want to enlist and it makes your stomach churn uncomfortably. You always hope and pray that he’ll get denied, and you’ll thank whatever deity was listening when he comes back with a sullen look on his face and rejection paper in his hand. You tell him that they don’t know what they’re missing out on. He launches into a speech about how he should be out there defending what’s his. He has so much patriotism, it moves you. You only feel a little guilty for being selfish and wanting to keep him home, safe.

When Bucky gets drafted, it’s hard on all of you. Steve tries to enlist again, and he comes home with the biggest grin on his face. Your stomach drops when you see the stamp of approval on his forms, but you smile and hug him because you know this is what he wants. When he lets you go, he looks at you seriously. “I know you’re scared, but they’re giving me a chance. I want to go out there and defend my country..defend my girl.” He brushes your hair away from your face. “And–and, well…” He stutters and fumbles to get something out of his pocket. “I want to know that you’ll still be here when I get back.” He holds a ring between his fingers, your breath leaves you completely. “So, Y/N, will you marry–?”

You don’t give him the opportunity to finish, pressing kiss after kiss to his lips as he slips the ring onto your finger.

When you take him to the train station, he kisses you longingly, knocking the breath out of you. Steve tells you he’ll write as soon as he can. The train starts moving, he almost misses it because he doesn’t want to leave you. As soon as he hops on, he yells, “I love you!” The goofy grin on his face makes you smile through your tears and you stay rooted on the spot until long after the train has left your sight.

Weeks pass and you don’t hear anything from Steve. No letters. No calls. You’re worried. Who wouldn’t be? That is, until you see the propaganda films of Captain America. He looks dreamy. So strong, so sure, so..familiar?

You’re in the middle of a theater when you realize that Captain America is Steve. Your fiancee, Steven Grant Rogers, is Captain America. You nearly pass out from the shock. You immediately go out and buy every paper that has news about Captain America in it.

It’s about four days after that when you finally get a call from him. He sounds so happy, so relieved to hear your voice before you go crazy. You ask him all kinds of questions, hardly waiting for a response before launching into another set of questions. “Doll! Doll!” he calls through the phone when he can hear you’re about to hyperventilate. “I’m okay. Let me tell you what happened.”

And he does. He tells you everything that’s happened since he left five months ago: the experimental procedure, traveling the country to sell bonds, Bucky’s capture, the very unauthorized rescue mission. He tells you that he’s part of a specialized group called the Howling Commandos. You listen, absolutely enraptured until he tells you that he has to go. He tells you he’ll call again soon.

Steve calls you weekly while he’s in the army. His calls become the highlight of your week.

You still collect newspapers with Captain America and the Howling Commandos news.

It’s late September 1945 when Steve and Bucky finally come home. You see Bucky first and launch into his arms, kissing his cheek, telling him how happy you are that he’s home. A throat clears beside you, and your jaw drops at the sight of your fiancee. Yes, you’d seen him in propagandas and newspaper articles, but seeing this new Steve in the flesh was something you’d have to get used to.

His smile is the same, though, and it melts your insides. You release Bucky and slowly make your way over to Steve, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him tightly into your embrace. His face is buried in your neck, strong arms wrapping around you and lifting you from the ground. You’re both so ecstatic that you’re crying. You’re pressing kisses wherever you can reach while he tells you how much he’s missed you, how he’s ready to marry you, start a family with you.

You two wind up going to the courthouse that day with Bucky as your witness and marry your best friend.

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