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#like only franky is doing his job... big bro energy
hauntingblue · 5 months
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Coliseum fight time 😈
#kinda funny his fruit is similar to luffy's as in he is elastic xd#what would law think if he found out luffy is on a battle royale in the coliseum#like only franky is doing his job... big bro energy#even if he looks like a gangster heidi#qgdkahdkabkd 'the photos get worse every time i stab them' 'maybe you should try to get over it and forget them 😰'#OAHDJAHSKAHDK LUFFY GOT FOUND PUT BY THIS RANDOM OLD MAN#BECAUSE OF GARP OF ALL PEOPLE AHDLAHDL#omg new opening#~we are best frieeeends~#BLACKBEARD TALKING IN THE OPENING??? DIEEEEE!!!!!#this nami outfit is so cute....#girl wtf is this giant robin and why are the pets playing with her titties......#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 636#i decided i was going to hate this marine's grandsons bc he nearly arrested me once is wild#oh his head... lmao#disqualify this man already!!! no fighting before the fights!!!!#'who is this little bearded man' lmaoo#one thing is true... none of this is luffys fault lmao.... he is just chilling sailing the seas and you liberate a country or two and you#get a 400 million berry wanted poster what is he gonna do about it#'i will try to mantain relationships by exchanging punches' lmao icon#ricky is the famous gladiator isnt he.... the statue#the boioioioioioing with every bellamy attack is too funny#user trafalgarmipatron saying she doesnt like barotolomeo bc he is ugly and rude. me too girl#another comment saying they are surprised luffy kept the secret of ace being roger's son.... and yeah me too...#but that was serious serious i guess.... i feel like he gets the difference. like he cant lie but nobody asked him so he didnt even have to#episode 638
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deathlikesdeep-dish · 4 years
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The Razr (Zoro AU Scenario)
Hi guys!
I’m so flattered that I’ve had some people join me here on this fun writing journey!! I truly truly do a little happy dance every time I get a follow. :D 
I keep meaning to just sit down and write a quick lil somethin somethin, but it always ends up longer than I intend 😅
This is a headcanon I came up with about Zoro having a crazy outdated flip phone that he refused to get rid of and his friends finally forced him to get a smartphone so he could use GPS. 
It turned out a little more serious and emotional than I originally intended, but I’m pretty pleased with it!! Would love to get y’alls feedback. 
xx
Warnings: obscene amounts of fluff, language 
Word Count: 1862
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“Zoro, where the fuck are you??” Nami yelled on the other end of the phone. He could hear the irritation in her voice.
He groaned and rubbed his hand over his face in frustration. “I really don’t know, Nami. I think I made a wrong turn,” He paused and sighed. “Or two? Shit, I don’t know.”
Zoro could hear Nami yelling on the other end of the line, and he placed his phone in the cup holder, knowing that this might be a while. He hit his head a few times on the steering wheel of his car, closing his eyes as he waited for her to finish screeching. He was used to this. He knew that he wasn’t the most directionally adept member of his friend group, but he got by….when others were around.
What made matters worse is that Zoro absolutely refused to get rid of his ancient, bulky flip phone, a fact that Nami never failed to bring up in situations just like this. He didn’t see a point in getting a new phone when his old one worked just fine. He thought back to a conversation he’d had about it just the other day with his friends.
-
“Bro, you’ve gotta be kidding me,” Their newest friend Franky said upon seeing Zoro pull his phone out of his pocket. “A fucking Motorola Razr? That thing has gotta be 10 years old!”
“It’s actually 12 years old,” Luffy chimed in with a laugh. “It was Kuina’s before it was Zoro’s.”
“Kuina? Who’s Kuina?” Franky asked. Zoro tensed up at the mention of her name, and the room went silent. Even Luffy noticed that he’d made a mistake in bringing her up. Zoro squeezed the phone tightly in his pocket.
Kuina was Zoro’s older sister. Five years his senior, Kuina had used the phone as her own for several years before she upgraded and passed it to Zoro. At first, he resented that she always got the newest stuff, and that he got the hand-me-downs. Now, he wouldn’t dream of letting it go. Kuina had died in a tragic accident just a couple years back. She was only 25. This phone was one of the only things that she had ever given him that was hers, along with the family katana that had been passed down for generations.
“Sorry, Zoro,” Luffy murmured, stuffing a bite of food into his mouth uncomfortably. Zoro simply grumbled in response with a shrug.
“Still,” Nami ventured tentatively. “Maybe it would be helpful for you to get a smartphone sometime soon. They all come with GPS systems built in.”
“And what’s wrong with a map?” Zoro snapped back.
“Well, nothing…” Nami said.
“Unless you can’t actually read it!” Luffy shouted out, not able to help himself. He cackled. Zoro shot him a glare, and he laughed even more. He crossed his arms over his broad chest.
“Yeah, well whatever. Next time I get lost, I’ll get a fucking smartphone. Deal?” Zoro said, to get them off his back more than anything.
Nami’s eyes lit up conspiratorially. “Don’t say stuff like that unless you mean it, Zoro.”
Zoro waved her off. They all knew that he certainly wasn’t going to purchase his own phone, so it was a moot point. It worked perfectly fine. Plus, it was hers. He’d keep it as long as it worked.
-
He was pulled from his reverie by Nami yelling his name.
“ZORO,” She yelled. He picked his phone back up and placed it at his ear.
“Goddamn it, Nami. I fucking know I suck at directions, please stop bitching at me,” He growled.
She started to say something, but stopped herself with a sigh. “Ugh. You exhaust me.” She replied.
“What else is new?” He snapped back.
“Whatever, Zoro. I just can’t believe you got lost on the way to your own birthday party.”
“Like I even care about this shit anyway,” He said. “It’s you and Luffy that always insist on throwing a party in the first place.”
“Hey man, don’t pretend like you don’t like eating food and getting shit-faced.”
He rolled his eyes, but didn’t say anything. He knew he didn’t have an argument there.
“Can you see a street sign anywhere?” Nami finally asked after a few moments when there was no reply.
Zoro looked up towards the streetlight and squinted at a sign in the distance. “Yeah, it looks like I’m at the corner of Alabasta and Logue Town drive.”
“Thank Christ,” Nami sighed. “You’re not that far. I’ll send Franky and Sanji to go get you.”
Zoro groaned. “Why does Sanji have to come? Doesn’t he have a fucking cake to bake or something?”
“They need to go out and get a few things from the store,” Nami said. “Listen, you’re the one that’s lost. Suck it up.”
“Ugh. Fine. See you soon.” He hung up, not wanting to hear anything else.
It took Franky and Sanji about 10 minutes to get to him.Thankfully, they just decided to have Zoro follow behind them in his car rather than ride together. Zoro wasn’t sure he could stop himself from punching that jackass directly in the face if he said anything to him.
They finally got back to Robin’s house where they were having the party. Robin was for sure the most adult out of any of them. She’d already bought this crazy historic home and had a job at an archeology firm while everybody else was living in shitty, thrown-together apartment complexes, eating pizza rolls and beer for every meal.
Sanji had looked like he was going to start some shit when they got out of the car, but decided against it when Zoro gave him a look. Plus, Sanji thought, it’s the guy’s birthday. Probably should lay off for one night.
Everyone was pleased to see him, and only gave him a moderately hard time about getting lost on the way to his own party. And despite himself, Zoro gave in to the jovial atmosphere. A few beers certainly helped. By the time he and Luffy had teamed up to play beer pong against Law and Usopp (“Sniper-king, my ass,” Zoro had thought to himself on Usopp’s third consecutive loss), Zoro was feeling pretty damn good. These were his people. They’d been the ones that were there for him. Even when new friends were added to the group, they’d always fit in. Luffy was the usual recruiter, and he somehow managed to find some cool-ass people.
The best time to give Zoro any gifts, Nami had discovered, was when he was sufficiently plastered enough to not object to them. Zoro was always more affectionate and willing to be the recipient of attention when he was drunk.
“Alright!” Nami announced over the blare of the music. “It’s present time, you degenerates! Sit your asses down!”
Franky turned the music down from his smartwatch, lowering it to a dull roar. Zoro was feeling warm and smiley, so he didn’t object when Robin lead him to the couch in the middle of the living room to receive his gift.
“What did y’all fuckers get me this time?” Zoro laughed, slurring a bit as he talked.
Nami rolled her eyes and Luffy just bounced excitedly from the armchair across the room. No matter how much he had to drink, it would seem, Luffy was always one big ball of energy.
“Remember,” Nami said, handing him a small, delicately wrapped box. “You promised.”
Zoro furrowed his brow, confusedly. “I promised?” He started to open the box, a bit nervous all of a sudden about what he would find under the shiny paper.
When he finally finished unwrapping the box, he froze. In his hand, he found a brand new iPhone. He looked up at his friends, knowing how much something like this cost.
“Guys, this is ridiculous,” He said, not knowing exactly how he felt.
“Stop,” Nami said, holding a hand up.
“Yeah, we all pitched in! Even Sanji!” Luffy grinned from his chair. “So no take backsies!”
He looked up at the room full of expectant faces, flushed from the alcohol and the good company. There was a pit in his stomach. On the one hand, he was angry. They knew how he felt about his phone. They knew what it meant to him. It wasn’t just a stupid phone. On the other hand, he was touched. Touched that his friends had come together to help him out. He found himself putting his hand in his pocket, thumbing over the ancient flip-phone that had once been hers.
“Guys, my phone works perfectly well,” He managed after swallowing. “This is completely unnecessary.”
“C’mon man,” Usopp clapped his hand on his shoulder. “You know it isn’t unnecessary. Do you need a reminder that you got lost on the way to your own party tonight?” He laughed.
Zoro remained silent, one hand gripping the new phone, and the other deep in the pocket of his pants.
“So, of course, we figured that you’d feel this way,” Robin chimed in. “So, that’s only one part of the gift.”
Zoro snapped his head towards Robin, the crease in his brow deepening. She pulled out another box from behind her back and handed it to him. This one was slightly larger, and a bit heavier. He peeled back the wrapping paper.
“It’s a shadow box,” Franky said. “So you can still keep your old phone, too.”
“Just on display on the shelf,” Nami said. “Instead of in your pocket.”
“We know how much it means to you, mosshead,” Sanji grumbled from the doorway. “You don’t have to get rid of the old phone. So, just accept the gift already.”
Zoro felt himself get teary-eyed. He told himself it was the alcohol as he wiped his hand over his eyes before tears could fall down his cheeks. “Thanks guys,” Was all he could manage.
Knowing that he needed the attention off of him, his friends just laughed and cheered, turning the music up to get back to the party. Franky spent the rest of the evening helping set up Zoro’s phone and showing him all of the functions that he would have access to. Zoro was still so overwhelmed, but he tried to make himself pay attention. Finally, and most importantly, Franky downloaded Google Maps and showed him how to use it. Zoro pocketed the phone with a slight smile and a ‘thank you.’ It felt heavy and big in the back pocket of his jeans. His heart felt heavy too. He couldn’t help but feel like this was the end of something. But somewhere, he knew that Kuina would be looking down on him, so happy that he had found such thoughtful friends.
Luffy raised his glass for a toast. “To Zoro! And never getting lost again!”
The rest of them raised their glasses, looking over to Zoro expectantly as they waited for him to raise his glass too. He reached for his beer and raised it slightly with a smirk.
“You motherfuckers are gonna regret this,” He grinned finally. “Getting lost was my only character defect. Now I’ll be unstoppable.”
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derekklenadaily · 5 years
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Dani’s review/synopsis of the first preview of “Jagged Little Pill” on Broadway!
I had the privilege to go to New York City to see Derek’s first preview “Jagged Little Pill” this past Sunday. While growing up back in the early ‘90s, Alanis Morrisette was definitely one of the most known artists in that era, I do remember hearing her music on the radio all time and even sang along to her tunes with my mother in the car. So, when I saw the news that her music was going to be made into a musical, I was very excited. When I saw this musical last summer in Cambridge, MA during their out-of-town run, and my mind was pretty much blown. Before I go any further, sexual assault is mentioned in this review and very slight spoilers is also present.  
Despite the changes for the first preview for the Broadway run, I got to say this musical is more than I ever thought it would be. The opening number just takes the audience by surprise with their exhilarating dancing and them singing fiercely but so passionately. We could feel such a big electric/energy charge in between us audience and the people on stage. It was like being an awesome rock concert, really. Then the music goes softer as we see the family of four comes up to the stage.  
Elizabeth Stanley who plays Mary Jane Healy who plays the mother of Nick and Frankie and a wife of Steve Healy. In the show, Mary Jane is an all star-kind of mother who supports her kids at various things such as sports and school. But outside of that world, she currently is struggling with drug addiction due after having a car accident earlier that year. At the same time, she has difficult relationship with her husband Steve who has been away from the family most of the time and hasn’t had a great sexual relationship with him ever since the car accident incident. Elizabeth is absolutely beyond brilliant in this show. She has a great comedic timing especially the scenes with the family. Her acting and singing is definitely out of this world. I think the last scene (“Forgiven”) before intermission still got me shaking in the boots, because it was so incredibly beautiful, tragic and damn powerful at the same time, especially having numerous voices from the cast blending with hers as they stood behind. I’m definitely certain that the judges for any kind of theater awards will look into that scene and mark her as Best Actress in a Musical. She deserves to get it. I got to say her and Sean Allan Krill’s chemistry was absolutely perfect to form this tragic and destructive husband and wife relationship. They would start as tense - not wanting to touch each other and then lying behind each other back’s (her addiction with pills and him with pornography). Suddenly, Elizabeth and Sean went out of the box even more at one point - I thought they would end their characters’ marriage and slam it with divorce right there in the show. It was absolutely incredible.  
Sean Allan Krill who plays the father of Nick and Frankie, also a husband of Mary Jane. He’s business man who travels and works in his office most of the time. He doesn’t have a very good relationship with Mary Jane because they hadn’t had any sex over a year. So, to feed that sexual drive - he goes on porn sites and becomes addicted with it. Like what I said in the paragraph before, he and Elizabeth has an amazing chemistry. There’s one scene that Sean does it so amazing when he sings “Mary Jane” in Act Two. It’s absolutely heart-wrenching that we can’t help feeling sorry for him and seeing him trying to mend his relationship with her after all that mess they went through.
There are some hidden secrets and devastating moments that each character cannot escape from, whether it’s sexual assault, drug-addiction, and sex addiction. Especially comes to Derek’s character, Nick - who is the good and golden boy who gets all the accolades and praises for his schoolwork and his sportsmanship. But that bubble suddenly bursts when one of his best friends gets accused of sexual assault by Bella (a classmate that Nick has known since sixth grade). Nick faces such a tremendous difficult decision on what to do and how he get through it without getting a scratch off his record. The songs he sings, “Perfect” was jaw-dropping and absolutely heart-wrenching, really. It shows that he is being pressurized by his parents, after being accepted to Harvard and how he is treated like as a hometown hero. “Wake Up” in Act One was absolutely incredible because it shows the depth of his feelings and being pressurized to speak up about what happened that night.  As I watched Derek in the first preview, I found his character a bit more sympathetic than the Cambridge run. I definitely think that he has improved so much with his craft and his work after “Anastasia” and doing countless rehearsals with this show.  
Kathyrn Gallagher who plays Bella, she is absolutely amazing in this role. After her countless researching and watching documentaries of sexual assaults and hearing several survivors’ stories, she definitely put her feet in their shoes to tell their stories on stage. It may be a really difficult and enormous thing to do, but she does it with a tremendous job. There is this scene where Kathryn sings “Predator” is absolutely devastating and heartbreaking but at the same time, it’s so beautiful because there is a dancer named Annelise Baker who interprets Bella’s character on that night. As Kathryn sings this number, she watches herself to unfold to a beautiful human being from into a complete shattered person. I got to give major kudos to Sidi Larbi Cherkaoui who is the choreographer (you may know his work in Beyoncé's music video). Every single dancing movement in the show is absolutely thrilling and exciting all at once. Also, we see several scenes that relates and mirrors her and Elizabeth’s character especially “Uninvited”. Near at the end of the show, Kathryn’s brilliant and such a strong number “No” with Derek and Celia along with the ensembles, it spreads various but incredibly important messages to speak up.
Celia Gooding who plays Frankie - Nick’s sister and a daughter of Mary Jane and Steve Healy. Frankie goes through several difficult situations in this play; one - she was adopted by Mary Jane and Steve when she was an infant and is the only black member in the family. So, she feels bit out of place especially dealing with Mary Jane who doesn’t grasp the idea of Frankie’s identity. Two, she tries to explores with her relationship in between Jo and Phoenix throughout the show and sees where and which her status falls in place. Celia is definitely bold and so much fierce as heck! She brings it all down when she sings “All I Really Want” with Elizabeth Stanley, “Hand in My Pocket” with Lauren Patten and then her solo piece “Unprodigal Daughter”. Her chemistry with Lauren is awesome because you can see how much they complement each other, it’s all very fun and playful. Her chemistry with Antonio was very cute and flirtatious. Lastly, her chemistry with Elizabeth Stanley was incredible because it showed that they had a tough mother-daughter relationship like Elizabeth had this wall up, blocking everything out and Celia tries to take it down by doing such ferocious, daring and bold things. Towards at the end of the show, something tragically happens in the family - we see the wall in between them shift and eventually come down for good.  
Antonio Cipriano who plays Phoenix, who is Frankie’s classmate and befriends her. Throughout the show, we see how their relationship develops. Antonio who was the finalist for the Jimmy Award. He is extremely talented and absolutely brilliant in this production. He’s great comedic timing and has a wonderful chemistry with Celia Gooding. I absolutely love when they sing “Head Over Feet”. It was really cute! I’d love if he had a solo piece in this show because his singing voice is absolutely terrific. I’m so happy that he made his debut on Broadway which he deserves, along with this incredible cast.
Lauren Patten who plays Jo, who is Frankie’s best friend but also with benefits kind of relationship with Frankie. Like I said in Celia’s paragraph, Lauren has a wonderful chemistry with her. They bounce each other off so incredibly well that they have so much fun onstage and even off stage. And I must say holy crap, Lauren is awesome - I can’t decide which will they give a Tony Award for Best Supporting Actress in A Musical? Celia or Kathryn? Can’t they call it a tie so they can give it to all three of them? In Act Two - she really gave her all and energy which brought the whole house down when singing “You Oughta Know” that we rose on our feet to give her a standing ovation as the song ended. It was so damn powerful. Holy sheeeetz!
Also, I cannot forget everyone in ensemble - they really bring this show alive and go way above the level of energy and perfection. Seriously, this show wouldn’t work without them - their amazing dance and outstanding singing performances, including even them doing the smallest things in the background in several scenes, they did stellar job to bring elevate the show to go where it needs to go. 
I want to say “Jagged Little Pill” is one amazing show. Much as I love RENT the Musical but I dare to say that it’s so much better than RENT. It is even more thrilling after watching back in Cambridge last summer. It involves with lot of diversity dealing with gender identity and the important messages that we see in the news almost every day such as sexual harassment and many other things that are happening in today’s world. It definitely needs to be heard. Diablo Cody’s (won Academy Award Winner for Best Screenplay for “Juno”) outstanding writing and Alanis Morrisette’s music just blends it together so beautifully to create this musical and put it onstage in front of us. From the choreography, the sets, the lights and costumes, and everything in this show - including the cast, I highly believe they will have major success on Broadway for sure. It’s a possible chance that they will make it to award season maybe next year. Seriously, this show is not to miss, please do go see it. It will be worth it!
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creative-type · 6 years
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Confidentiality
Word count: ~4000 AO3 Summary:  He was the youngest, most naive Straw Hat, but Chopper was also a doctor, and doctors keep their patient's secrets. 
"Any dizziness, lightheadedness, or blurred vision?" Chopper asked as he listened to Nami's heart.
"No, no, and no."
The newest Straw Hat was learning quickly that hearty constitutions were the norm for this strange little crew. For someone who had been deathly ill less than a week prior, Nami seemed to be in remarkably good spirits. But the fact remained that she had nearly been killed by a prehistoric disease, and that regular checkups were a must until Chopper was certain she would not relapse.
Lub dub, lub dub, lub dub. The steady, even rhythm was soothing. It really did seem like she was fully recovered. It was the closest thing to a miracle Chopper had seen in his short medical career.
"Hey, there's something I wanted to ask you earlier, but I forgot," Chopper said.
"Sure," Nami said with a soft smile that made him want to squirm in delight.
"Who's Arlong?"
Lub dub, lubdub, lubdublubdub…The room went deathly silent as Nami's heart began to race, and Chopper realized he had asked something very bad without even meaning to.
"Where did you hear that name?"
The sharp, almost panicked tone in her voice made him cringe. Hiding his face with his hat, Chopper tried not to see that his indomitable navigator (his new friend) was scared.
"Y-you did. When you were sick." Nami paled, and the scared look was replaced with one of horror. "Y-you were delirious. You said something about maps, and that…and that you'd have them finished on time."
Nami's arms went limp by her side, and she stared blankly ahead without seeing.
"You asked him not to hurt you."
The statement snapped her back into reality. Nami grabbed the front of Chopper's lab coat, her gaze burning with anger. "Don't you dare tell anyone. I'll deny it till I'm blue in the face. I'll call you a liar and make you wish you were never born."
"I-I wasn't going to!" Chopper stammered.
"You said it yourself, I was delirious. No one would believe you anyway."
"Nami, I'm your doctor! I would never tell anyone what happened when you were sick!"
"I—you wouldn't?" Nami seemed to remember herself, letting go of his clothes as if they were on fire.
"No, I wouldn't!" Chopper exclaimed as he took a step backward.
"Oh." Nami looked away, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Then her hand moved to her shoulder, tracing her tattoo with one finger. "I'm sorry. It's just that Arlong…Arlong wasn't a very nice man."
Chopper nodded his understanding. "Neither was Wapol, but he's gone now. Arlong's not here either, so you're safe." His spirits lifted when he saw a small smile on the navigator's face. "But if you want to talk about it, I'm here."
Nami reached out and touched his cheek tenderly. "Thank you, Doctor. I appreciate it."
With a metal nose, blue hair, and forearms bigger than a normal man's thigh, Franky could never be described as normal. Add in cola-fueled energy systems, air cannons that shot out of his hands, and the ability to turn into a reverse centaur, Franky was downright freakish.
Chopper didn't mind. There were monsters aplenty aboard the Thousand Sunny. Franky and his cyborg body fit right in with the rest.
Besides, the shipwright was proud of his handiwork. Hardly a day went by where he didn't demonstrate some insane feature he had installed into himself all those years ago. He and Usopp would often joke with one another about what upgrades he would attempt next, each more ridiculous than the last.
Seriously, who else besides Franky would think that nipple lights were a good idea?
There was, however, one sore spot, one not-so-insignificant part of himself that Franky deemed less than super.
"Promise not to laugh?" he asked nervously the first time Chopper examined him.
"I never laugh at my patients," Chopper answered solemnly.
"I can't…I can't have kids."
Chopper blinked, unsure of what he was supposed to say. Franky rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. "When the sea train hit me, it did a lot of damage, er, down there." His cheeks flushed bright red with embarrassment. "I made sure it looks normal, and there's still feeling, but I can't…"
"Have kids," Chopper answered for him.
"Yeah."
"Is that something you want?"
"No! Not now, but in the future, yeah…maybe, I dunno. It's not…manly."
Chopper nodded his understanding, although he was still amazed he was having this conversation with Franky, who seemed more interested in mechanics and robotics than romance and children.
He put a hoof on Franky's knee and gave him an encouraging smile. "If something, or someone, makes you change your mind in the future, talk to me. There are some treatment options we can try."
"Really? That's…that's super. Thanks, bro. And…if you don't mind keeping this to yourself…"
"Of course."
"What happened?!" Chopper shrieked, resisting the urge to punch Zoro right in his big, fat chin. The bleeding had stopped, but the wounds would reopen with the slightest provocation. He had seen Zoro beaten and bloody before, but the mysterious altercation at Thriller Bark had left him shredded. In places it had been difficult to find enough healthy tissue to stitch back together.
"Nothing," the swordsman replied with the same unnatural calmness he had exhibited since regaining consciousness. Normally when injured he was rushing to resume his training, wanting to excise the weakness that had led to him being hurt. This time was different. Zoro had accepted the outcome of this particular altercation with surprising grace.
It was infuriating, and Chopper was at his wits end. It was moments like this that led him to believe that Doctorine was right to throw scalpels at her patients.
"I. Am. Your doctor!" Chopper exclaimed. "I need to know what happened!"
"No you don't."
Without thinking, Chopper transformed into his full human form, looming over the swordsman as he poked a finger at the one unbandaged part of his torso. "And if you bleed to death because I didn't know the proper means of treatment?"
"Then that's as far down the path I could make it," Zoro said with a lopsided shrug.
"No, you selfish asshole!" Chopper yelled. He had never talked to one of his crewmates like this before, and he hated it. He hated it, because it wasn't even necessary. Sometimes Zoro's pride was as bad as Sanji's chivalry, but at least Sanji had the decency to admit his deference to the fairer sex would someday be the death of him.
"If I can't heal you that means…that means I failed. That I'm n-not good enough for my dream…" Chopper's vision blurred, and he couldn't keep the tears from falling. "I d-don't want you t-to die. I c-can't help you if I don't kn-know what's wr-wrong."
With one piteous sniff, Chopper reverted to his normal hybrid form and sat in the middle of the floor of his infirmary. He cried, not because he was frustrated (that happened all the time with Zoro as a patient) but because he was exhausted. The Straw Hat Pirates had been in so many life and death situations in such a short amount of time, Chopper wasn't sure how much more he could take.
He heard Zoro sigh, and the swordsman joined him on the ground. Leaning back with a small wince, Zoro looked at the ceiling in thought.
"I'm through the worst of it now," he said. "I'm not gonna die."
"B-but it doesn't make sense. Your injuries, I've never seen a-anything like it before. I'm s-scared, b-because….because I don't know what could do that to you, or if it'll happen again." Chopper wiped his eyes with his hooves. "It's as if…as if something was pushing from the inside out. All your muscles and major blood vessels had damage in their innermost layers. Like…like…"
"Like they'd been stretched," Zoro supplied.
"Yes, like if Luffy stretched his whole body too far all at once." Chopper shook his head when he thought of their captain. For once, Luffy had managed to come out of an adventure unharmed. If anything, it was the opposite.
"Exactly like Luffy," Zoro repeated, before falling silent and letting him put the pieces together.
"…You didn't," Chopper whispered when it dawned on him. "How…?"
"That doesn't matter," Zoro said, this time his tone indicating the subject was closed for good. "I'm not going to die. You did your job, Chopper, just like I had to do mine."
"O-okay."
"Luffy can never know," Zoro said. "I only told you so you'd stop worrying."
It seemed impossible, but in that moment Chopper's respect for Zoro grew even more. And to be trusted with a secret this huge meant that Zoro respected him back. Chopper nodded, brushing away the last of his tears.
"Okay."
"Hey, Chopper, is it normal when people talk to themselves?"
Chopper roused himself, blinking sleepily at Usopp. It was a quiet, warm afternoon, and the crew was all worn out from a recent skirmish with the marines. "That depends, I guess."
"Oh." Usopp leaned back on his haunches.
"Why do you ask?"
"No reason," Usopp said quickly. "It's just…I know this guy…"
"Sogeking?" Chopper asked excitedly. Since Enies Lobby, Usopp had kept in touch with his superhero friend, and was more than happy to regale to anyone who would listen with stories of his heroic exploits.
Usopp thought about it for a moment. "Actually, it is. It's not him, per say, but his, er, sidekick. Yeah. Sogeking's sidekick, Sniper Lad, has been, well, talking to himself. He—that is Sogeking—is concerned. Because that's not normal, right?"
"What's he saying?" Chopper asked.
"Nothing bad. Pep talks, mostly."
"Hmm. It's hard to say. I don't want to make a premature judgment when I've never seen the patient."
"I understand."
"But…" Chopper tapped his chin. "Mental health is a spectrum. Health in general is a spectrum. A lot of people like to have black and white definitions of 'sane' and 'insane', but it doesn't work like that, just like there isn't a clear-cut way to say someone is 'healthy' or 'unhealthy'.
"As the sidekick to a successful hero, Sniper Lad has a very stressful and demanding job. If he's not contemplating doing harm to himself or others and uses it simply as a means to cope...Did Sogeking say if these 'pep talks' helped or not?"
"They've gotten the job done," Usopp said.
"Okay. Without knowing more information, I'd say there's nothing to worry about. People deal with stress in different ways, and if that's what works for Sniper Lad…" Chopper looked back up towards the sky. "Who is anyone else to judge?"
"That's good. I, er, Sogeking was getting really worried there for a second."
Chopper closed his eyes, ready to resume his nap. "I'd like to meet Sniper Lad someday. It's a shame Sogeking had to leave so quickly after Enies Lobby. He would have been a real help against Oars. But I guess he's busy with hero stuff."
"Yeah," Usopp said quietly. "I guess he is."
It wasn't often post-battle checkups made Chopper feel sad. Angry, incredulous, or frustrated, yes, maybe even awed if a wound was spectacular enough. But never sad.
His assessment of Robin after her rescue made Chopper sad.
A single, massive contusion covered her abdomen, the bruises a harsh bluish-purple. An abrasion started at the crest of her hip, disappearing beneath her pants. Worst was the bruising on her shoulders. Chopper could still see the individual finger prints from where she had been grabbed.
"Elephant sword, mostly," Robin said, answering the question he was too scared to ask.
Chopper made a distressed noise and tenderly touched a mark by her kidney. It was uncomfortably similar to the shape of a boot, and he was grateful he had already run the tests that ruled out internal bleeding. "Robin, how long have you had suicidal thoughts?"
"Excuse me?" Robin asked, shying away from his touch for the first time.
"You said you wanted to die," Chopper said, eyes misting at the terrible memory. "H-how long have you thought that?" And how long have I missed clinical depression in one of my patients?
Instead of avoiding the question as he half-feared she might, Robin tilted her head in thought. "I don't know exactly how long it's been, Doctor. Archeologists think about death a great deal simply by the nature of their work, and when I started doing more…unsavory deeds to ensure survival, my awareness of my mortality only increased. But actually wanting to die?" A tiny frown appeared on her face, and her eyes grew distant. "Fifteen years, maybe? It's not constant, but during low moments I've at least entertained the notion."
Chopper's stomach twisted into knots. Fifteen years was as long as he'd been alive, humanly-speaking. "Have you ever tried to…to…"
"Not directly, no. I owe too much to too many people to take my life with my own hand, no matter how badly I may have wanted to in the past." Robin looked down at Chopper intently. "Doctor, I'm asking for your discretion in this matter. The others can't know, not after all that's happened."
"A doctor never tells his patient's secrets."
They were silent as Chopper continued his assessment. Robin probably had a few cracked ribs, but there was little he could do for those other than pain control. As he examined her skull, he found several tender areas and a scab where a chunk of hair had been ripped from her scalp. One of her teeth had a large chip in it.
Sensing his mounting distress, Robin touched Chopper's shoulder reassuringly. Her eyes were tired, but her smile was warm. "I left because I didn't have those thoughts here. From the time I joined Straw Hats until Aokiji's attack…I was happy. After digging out of the pit and tasting the sunlight, I didn't want to go back to the darkness. I thought the betrayal was inevitable, and I had no choice but to go back. I was wrong, and I will fight with every fiber of my being to stay with this crew for as long as I can."
Her battered body was evidence enough of that. "Good. But, Robin, if anything happens and there's another low moment…I'm here for you."
Robin's smile widened, and she squeezed his shoulder. "I know."
One of the most exciting things about reuniting after two years was discovering what new things the Straw Hats had learned during their separation. Usopp had his new arsenal of plants, Sanji could set things on fire under water, and Brook…
Brook's new abilities were totally awesome.
"I can't believe it!" Chopper exclaimed. "You got your head cut off and lived!"
Brook took a sip of tea, obviously pleased with himself. "Well, yes. I suppose I did, didn't I?"
"That's amazing!"
"I would have thought you would be more impressed with Mr. Franky's new machines," Brook chuckled. "All I did was improve my control over my Devil Fruit."
"That's cool, but do you know what that means for me as a doctor?" Chopper nearly burst with excitement at the thought. "I have a patient who can get his head cut off and not die. That makes my job so much easier."
"Well, technically, I've already died…"
"Think of the possibilities!"
Brook set his tea down. "I have, actually, and I'd rather not do it again," he said quietly.
"Huh? Why not?" Chopper asked.
"My body was already somewhat durable. A skeleton does not truly need to eat or drink, nor does it have fleshly parts that can fall prey to disease or decay. I've lived this second life for over fifty years, and I am no different than the day my soul returned to my body."
The crux of Brook's problem dawned on Chopper, and some of his elation deflated.
"My body is held together with the energy of the Underworld. You will all age and will eventually pass on, and even when I'm reunited with Laboon, he will not live forever. I've lost those closest to me once before, and I don't want to experience that ever again."
"Oh."
"But," Brook said sadly, "I'm not certain I can die. Perhaps if what is left of me was destroyed completely, maybe, but I've learned how to project my soul outside my body. And obviously it's not something I want to go around testing, on the off-chance I'm wrong. Not yet, at least."
Chopper was quiet for a moment. "You know, Doctorine told me stories of dying people remaining in an unconscious state for over a week until family could arrive to say goodbye, and others who hold on long enough to see their children married or to hold the grandchildren for the first time and only to pass a few hours later. She always thought that people had some control over when they died. You've got a lot to live for, but when your time comes I think you'll be able to let go."
"Yohohoho, I had never thought of it that way. Thank you, Chopper. Of course, there's quite a lot I wish to accomplish before that happens." A grin spread across his skull, and Brook patted the top of Chopper's hat. "Let's not talk of such unpleasant matters any longer. It's been too long since I've seen you…though I don't have eyes…and I want to know how you've managed to develop such wonderful new transformations."
Sanji claimed he never got sick, and technically that was true.
He did, however, get short of breath.
Chopper shook his head as he pulled his stethoscope away from Sanji's chest. The symptoms were subtle, but to Chopper's sensitive ears they were as plain as day. "I know you don't want to hear it, but I think all those cigarettes are catching up with you."
"You 'think'?" Sanji said.
"It's polite doctor-speak for 'smoking two packs of cigarettes a day is going to kill you'. But I'm sure you knew that already."
"Hey, no need to be hostile," Sanji said crossly. His fingers twitched, and Chopper knew he was fighting the urge to pull out a cigarette at that moment. Chopper was very flexible when it came to doctoring, but he absolutely refused to let Sanji smoke in his infirmary.
"We've been through this before. I guess I'm just frustrated," Chopper said. "You know the risks."
"I do, and that doesn't change the fact I'm going to light up just as soon as I go through that door."
"Can't you at least cut back a little?" Chopper pleaded. "No girl's going to want to kiss you if your breath smells like tobacco."
Sanji threw his head back and laughed. "Oh, you poor, ignorant bastard. Why do you think I started in the first place? It gives me an aura of mystery that matches perfectly with my handsome charm. Look up debonair in the dictionary, and there's probably a picture of me with a cigarette."
"That same picture would also be listed under lung cancer," Chopper said.
"Well, if I live long enough to get to that point, I give you permission to laugh at my sorry ass."
"No. I'll be too busy trying to keep you alive, despite your terminal case of hopeless idiocy," Chopper said, managing a smile.
Sanji snorted. "That's something, I guess. How bad is it, Chopper?"
"You're in the early stages of lung disease. I'll make up some treatments, but as far as I can tell none of your abilities have been compromised yet."
"That's good," Sanji said, and the relief in his visible eye was nearly palpable. "No reason to give Moss Head another reason to exercise his superiority complex."
"And there's no reason to worry the rest of the crew," Chopper agreed. "All the symptoms are reversible. For now."
"Okay." Sanji stood to leave. "I'm sure there will be plenty of I-told-you-sos later, but I really need a smoke."
"Good doctors don't say I told you so," Chopper said quietly. "They stick with their patients, through thick and thin."
Sanji stared at him in surprise, unlit cigarette dangling from his lips. "Then I'm glad you're my doctor, 'cause you're the best there is."
Burns were tricky. Really, having a large amount of scar tissue regardless of cause was tricky. The new skin wasn't as flexible or strong, and if the wound went deep enough the underlying areas were affected as well. No matter how cool looking, Chopper was glad when his patents didn't scar. It was healthier that way.
It was, of course, impossible to avoid all of the time. The Straw Hats were pirates, with all of the danger that entailed. But Chopper considered it a matter of pride that he was able to treat his friend's wounds without leaving behind long-term complications.
Which, in a way, explained why he felt so guilty when he saw Luffy's chest. The X-shaped scar showed how he had been unable to be there in his captain's time of need, not just during the battle, but during the time of recovery as well. Whoever had done the initial treatment had done a serviceable job, though Chopper believed he could have done better, had he been there to try.
"Does it hurt?" Chopper asked softly, palpating the edges of the wound.
"Every day," Luffy said in his normal, simple way, as if it were no problem at all.
"I could help with that," Chopper said. "It's the least I could do after I wasn't there to help…"
"That wasn't your fault, Chopper. I don't want you to say it was ever again, captain's orders," Luffy said, with a seriousness that was usually absent from his voice. "I was the one who wasn't strong enough. Me, and no one else."
"But…" Chopper faltered when Luffy glared at him. "It's not your fault, either."
Luffy leaned back, a sullen expression on his face. "Maybe not, but I'm still gonna make sure it never happens again. I'm strong enough now, I swear."
"I know."
Slowly, Luffy's normal grin returned. "I'm not good at very many things. I can't be the Pirate King without you."
"That doesn't make me happy at all, asshole," Chopper said, delighted.
"Shishishi," Luffy laughed quietly. Then he looked down at his scar, and the serious expression came back. He blinked a few times, very rapidly as if he were trying not to cry, and when he looked at Chopper again his eyes were shiny with unshed tears.
There was a second reason Chopper did not like scars, one that was more psychological than medical. He did not like his patients to be reminded of their trauma every time they looked in a mirror. When Chopper was able to heal someone without leaving a visible mark, he liked to think he had helped heal them on the emotional level as well. He would never pretend that the pain had never happened, but he did think that it made it easier to move on.
Luffy didn't have that opportunity. Every day he would be faced with the evidence of his brother's death.
"And we've gotten stronger, too," Chopper said. "We'll be right behind you, no matter where you go."
A look of pure relief coursed through Luffy's body. He wiped his eyes and gave Chopper a wobbly smile. Maybe two years wasn't enough to completely heal him from the events that took place during the Marineford War, but that was okay. Luffy was well on his way, and Chopper would see to it that his broken heart was made whole again.
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