#like it seems like theyve been somewhat on and off and idk how much Commitment there actually is

[myownprivatcidaho]

all these instances of dudes hitting from the back imagining their gf is someone else got me feeling rlly bad :/

#i mean. #like it seems like theyve been somewhat on and off and idk how much Commitment there actually is #and idk if theyve been going together this long its like obviously yeah theyre into each other #but just the realization tgat over all these months the probability hes imagined it was me at least once. :||||||| #i dont wike it. #that one crush situation lol #minors dni #see a lot of me wants to like . guess shes a 100% innocent party here but idk #they might be just taking it slow but idk how much SHES played around at least in the esrly stages. much less him #and atp im not even Too mad about the fact that early on he wasnt great being committal bc. few college students are but it seems like he #was at least TRYING. im just mad that hes dragged me along for the greater part of a year now with no accountability. #like thats just fucking cruel. #but idk whats going on with those two. he has a thing for Maneater types so idk what earlier stages looked like for them #or what shes even LIKE as a person and to be clear im not acting like i do #jus thinkin out loud here #but . yeah hes got a thing for emo girls who wear doc martens and look like they want to murder men etc #paraphrasing a rt. lol #part of me feels :/ cause like. what if i just seem kinda BORING cause ive just stopped acting like im not Tired #like i dont play around im just to the point and responsible like a boring 40something lmao #also like. after i left him the voicemail he acted even MORE Friendly™ and it PISSED me off like what do u WANT #and then my sisters gf suggested maybe he just liked that i seemed respectful and mature and like i take ppls feelings seriously #idk man. idk ehats going in in his ginger ass noggin #its just been a while since ive dumped out ALL my thots and feelings abt him on here so. yeah this is juts a periodical Vent ignore lol #probably wont have another for a while. tho j may have just jinxed it :/