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#like it and i'm enjoying only knowing of stuff that happens
giddyfatherchris · 3 days
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📱skz texts —how they react/comfort you (when you're going through a rough patch with a friend)
| including. bang chan, lee know
warnings. mentions of homophobia, anxiety and depression (but not going in depth with any of these subjects)
a/n. FINALLY!! channie and lee know’s part babyyyy honestly i kept procrastinating but today i decided enough is enough.😤 again, these are not in order but i cannot be 🎶booOoOoOthereeeddd🎶 so :) hope you enjoy mwah xxx
changbin, seungmin & i.n
hyunjin, han & felix
Lee Know
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He knew from your texts you were not in your normal state. You were usually such a bubbly person, but when you answered so drily to his questions, he knew something was wrong.
As he waited for you to come home, he couldn't help but pace in his apartment. You weren't living together yet, but you spent so much time at his flat that you claimed it as your second home comfortably. In the 15 minutes it took for you to arrive, Lee Know had prepared himself for many scenarios, but he could have never predicted how you opened harshly the door and slammed it shut. Your ritual of crouching on the floor, calling for his three cats, was brutally ignored as you stomped to the kitchen.
"Hi, baby." He tentatively tried. Cautious, he kept his distance as you grunted in answer. You opened the fridge door, looked for a milli second before you closed it, then repeated the same process with the pantry. You made yourself a glass of water, didn't even take a sip, and grumbled as you looked in front of you, not really seeing anything. You abandoned it on the counter, ready to stomp away, when Lee Know put himself in your trajectory.
"What's going on?"
You would have kept walking if he hadn't grabbed you by the shoulders and blocked you from carrying on.
"Uh?" you looked at him as if you were just now seeing him. "Nothing, something at work, it's enraging." 
"Then please tell me so I can know who to kill," he replied in an equally angered tone. His hold on your shoulders tightened slightly at the thought someone had hurt you. 
You looked at him, surprised. "What, kill someone?" 
"Please, Y/n. I've never seen you like this. I don't know what happened, but for it to put you in that state, I'm guessing it's pretty serious." 
He had to pull it out of you, but you finally explained how you discovered one of your coworkers, who you considered a friend, was, in fact, a raging homophobic, queer-hating asshole. When you first heard him comment on someone else wearing a rainbow pin, you had laughed it off, thinking he was being dumb, but he kept adding on, and you realized, horrified, that he was being serious. 
Cherry on top, when you told him you were pansexual, he had stared at you with this idiotic air and asked if you were attracted to kitchen appliances. It ended up with you terminating that 'friendship' and leaving the office completely enraged. 
Your boyfriend listened carefully to your story. His piercing eyes set on you when he finally stated, "I have no idea how you managed not to smack him in the face." 
You let out a dry chuckle, telling the story again only egged you on, and brought up a familiar gloom you hadn't felt in a while. Immediately, he noticed the change in your demeanor, how the burning rage had simmered to a profound sadness. "Hey, it's okay, you can report the bastard, you know. He can't go around saying stuff like that."
You wrapped your arms around your middle, your lower lip softly shaking as you exhaled. "It's been a long time since I've been directly in contact with someone like that. I'm mad at myself for not seeing it maybe others knew, and they considered me badly for hanging out with him. I feel so bad."
He pulled you to him, softly resting his chin on top of your head. "Some people are really good at hiding who they truly are. He never said anything before, you never could have known."
"I know, but I somewhat feel like a traitor to my community," you covered your face with your hands before hiding in his chest. "Is that dumb?"  
He softly pushed you back and leveled his gaze with yours. "That is a little dumb because you did not betray your community, okay? You can't betray someone if you've also been fooled. And you know what's the best thing to do now? Report his ass. I'm sure if you do, there will be others who feel comfortable speaking up."
Your eyes lit up at his suggestion. "You're right. I want queer people to feel safe at work. The thought that I might have been seen as someone who would threaten that makes me sick. But if I speak up, that could change. Maybe we could even create a comity to do sensibilization about homophobia in the workplace." The gloom in your eyes was replaced with a fire. "One thing is sure, I won't let it happen again.
He gave you an adorable grin as he softly grabbed your chin. "My little fighter, I'm proud of you."
Your eyes disappeared into a happy smile as you hugged him again. "Thank you for always supporting me, although I am slightly scared of how little it took to convince you to kill someone." 
He laughed before grabbing you over his shoulder and whispered with a diabolical expression. "You shouldn't." 
Because really, there shouldn't be a doubt in your mind that this man was ready to make anyone who hurt you pay a terrible price. 
Bang Chan
The leader rubbed his hands on his face in an attempt to wipe away all the exhaustion. He looked back at his computer screen, feeling a violent cramp in his head causing his eyes to squeeze shut of their own accords. 
"Okay, okay. I get it. No more computer today."
He grabbed his phone before getting up, pleading his eyes to survive one last exposure to the light of a screen. He clicked on your name and quickly typed in, asking you what you wanted to eat for dinner but all signs of fatigue disappeared once he saw your answer. Worry replaced any feelings in his heart, his tired eyes fixed on the device.
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What could have happened for you to be so down? He knew you were dealing with a difficult friend lately, but could it have gotten this bad so quickly? He wondered if he should push it, ask you more, but as his eyes started burning again he realized it would probably be of no help and he should wait for you to get home. Chan looked around the apartment, an uneasy feeling in his chest, a restlessness agitating his limbs. You were hurting and he couldn’t stay still, waiting for you to arrive. Then it clicked, he looked at your messages once again, closed the app and started dialing a number he was starting to know very well. As the line rang, a smirk slowly took place on his full lips.
You tiredly entered your apartment, welcomed with a delicious aroma. You kicked your boots off, more than ready to change into comfortable clothes and hug your boyfriend. 
Your heart melted at the sight waiting for you in the kitchen. Chan, his sleeve rolled up, showing his strong forearms, was very focused on the pots and pans burbling in front of him. He softly hummed to the soft jazz music playing in the background, completely oblivious to the world around him. You silently walked to him and wrapped your arms around his middle, loving how his strong back felt on your cheek through his clothes. 
"Jesus! You scared me," he whined, still, you could hear the smile in his voice as his hands wrapped around yours. "How are you?"
You didn't answer, feeling tears prickling your eyes and that burning sensation in your nose when you knew you were about to cry. You buried your face in his clothes, hoping it would muffle the sound of your sobs. 
"Y/n?" he quickly turned around, realizing you were far from okay. "Hey, baby what's going on?"
Violent sobs shook your body as you slid to the floor engulfed in Chan’s reassuring embrace, allowing you to let it all go. Once you calmed down enough to take a big breath, he asked again. "Baby, what happened?" 
Softly, he brushed his fingers through your hair. He was a calm and reassuring presence for you in all the chaos. You knew you could trust him, knew you could tell him anything and he would be there for you.
"You know my ´friend’, our relationship was already rocky, I knew that, but I thought it was getting better. When we studied together the other day, we talked so much, about anything and everything and even personal stuff. I thought we were getting over that petty argument, but today I heard them tell other people from my classes how I was faking my anxiety disorder and depression symptoms. They said I only did it to get attention and that I- I was an addict." Your voice broke on the last word, horrified that such words could have come out of their mouth.
Chan had to fight everything in him not to go after them right now. If there was one thing he despised it was when the ones he loved were hurt. He couldn't bear it. He knew how hard it had been for you to get a diagnosis and start taking medication. How could someone be heartless enough to make such comments? 
"I heard some of the people in the group defend me, but still... I can't believe it. I'm so stupid, I never should have told them about it."
"Y/n. You are not stupid. They are the assholes. You are not stupid for trusting someone you thought was a friend okay? I don't ever want you to think you are stupid for that."
You looked at him with teary eyes. He felt himself melt and soften, all anger disappearing when he realized how badly you needed him. "You are not stupid. You are not faking anything." he softly stroked your cheeks, wiping away the tears as he did. "I'm so proud of you for reaching out for help. I'm proud of you every damn day, and you know the people who really love you do too." You closed your eyes, relishing in his warm touch, allowing his soft voice to erase every doubt and fear. He softly kissed your forehead, "Okay?"
"Okay," you whispered. "Thank you I don't know what I would do without you."
"You would still do amazing because you are one of the strongest person I've ever met."
You chuckled at his comment. "You're so cheesy. Still, I'm pretty happy to have you." You lifted your head towards the stove. "Especially if you tell me you've been cooking for me." You took a deep breath in, finally registering what it was you were smelling. You looked back at him, already smiling, a look of surprise on your face. "Is- is that my mom’s… How, how did you do it?"
A proud and satisfied expression was printed on his features. "You wanted your mom’s spaghetti so I called and asked her to help me make it. Turns out the recipe isn’t that hard." He tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear while you stared at him like he was the most magnificent thing you had ever seen, which he was.
"I can’t believe you did that. My mother has never told anyone her recipe!"
"Yeah, about that. I might have had to make a deal with her to get it…" You rolled your eyes, ready to hear some embarrassing stunt your mother pulled on your boyfriend. "I had to explain why I wanted the recipe, and she might have made me promise we’d go visit your family in two weeks while you’re on spring break."
You squealed and wrapped your arms around his neck, asking him a thousand time if he was kidding, if this was really happening, while he promised over and over again it was. You pulled back to look at the satisfied smile growing on his lips. Chan was a sure value in your life, maybe the only true one, and as you looked at him, his dimpled smile and the satisfaction he had in preparing all this for you, you knew this was it. He was everything you would ever need.
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marikosenwrites · 23 hours
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karasuno boys - dating headcanons (pt. 1)!
a/n: sen here!! heyy obsessing over our haikyuu boys are we <3 yes i am i'm only on season two right now though, almost season three!! i'll be doing aoba jousai, nekoma, and fukuroudani gakuen! enjoy!
characters: hinata shouyou, kageyama tobio, tanaka ryuunosuke, sawamura daichi, sugawara koushi (suga-san🥹), tsukishima kei (TSUKKI🥹) [pt. 1], yamaguchi tadashi, takeda ittetsu (just me and one of my favorites), ukai keishin [and in that order] {pt.2}
pt. 1 || pt. 2
notes: in this au, kiyoko can't be married to tanaka...yeah. they're still in highschool, btw
gn!reader
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↳ ❝ [ 日向翔陽 HINATA SHOUYOU ] ¡! ❞
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-this cutie omg
-probably the first to confess
-gets all blushy when you're around at the start of the relationship
-you love ruffling his hair
-if you watch him practice until the end, he treats you to meat buns!! if he doesn't have enough money, he'll just share one with you
-kageyama is jealous omg and tsukishima is just like "the chibi got a girlfriend??"
-loves you so very much
-his love language HAS to be words of affirmation and physical affection
-you just can't help but return the affection
-if you don't know how to play volleyball, he's gonna teach you!!
-if you know- he's going to ask you to talk to him
-dates will be chaotic and affectionate
-often cooking dates!
-you love his family especially natsu
-also love them amusement park dates with him
-he's so fun loving and all
-kisses are very innocent, close to no spice at all except when he's feeling super annoyed or something
-loves cuddling with you when it's bedtime <33
-does NOT have a specific schedule rest assured
-calls you his dove (aww)
-you love calling him sunshine <333
-HE'S JUST SO BRIGHT
-I SWEAR
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↳ ❝ [ 影山飛雄 KAGEYAMA TOBIO ] ¡! ❞
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-a sweetheart actually
-he's so cold on the outside but lights up when you're there
-kisses have a little bit of spice
-he's too prideful to confess first ig so you make the move
-loves it when you come to his practice to support him
-at some point he has requested you to become a manager because sometimes ukai thinks you're a distraction for him so asks you to walk out for a bit to let kageyama concentrate
-you bet he has worried over it because he didn't know where you went
-ok onto the main shit
-dates are always somehow sport related (HOW DOES HE KEEP FINDING THEM)
-sometimes an outing or two when he's actually free and not busy with volleyball stuff
-you'd think he isn't clingy...WELL IT'S THE OPPOSITE ALRIGHT.
-he actually craves YOUR attention and YOURS ONLY
-i think you two would have a cat together (named it NOTHING after the other volleyball players you know :/)
-loves your cuddles too
-WAIT WAIT HEAR ME OUT
-YOU KNOW HE BUYS THEM DRINKS RIGHT
-HE WOULD BUY LIKE HUNDREDS FOR YOU IF YOU WANT
-aww the little (wait he's tall) guy
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↳ ❝ [ 田中龍之介 TANAKA RYUUNOSUKE ] ¡! ❞
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-the hot-headed guy just can't get enough of you
-you sometimes make fun of him for being almost bald-
-but he's okay with it because he loves you (as long as you dont do it that often)
-okay so firstly like kiyoko WHEN HE SEES YOU HE CONFESSES TO YOU ALMOST IMMEDIATELY
-one second he's dumbfounded by your beauty, the other he's confessing to you already
-like you reject him first few times
-AND THEN AND THEN YOU START TO FALL FOR HIM
-THEREFORE YOU ACCEPT WOOOOO
-it's uh "Y/N-SAN! I LIKE YOU CAN YOU GO OUT WITH ME?!!!" and then you're just like "ah- yeah. mhm."
-he's just like :o WHAT
-okay that's it for the confession
-dates are always what you want
-if it happens you want to make cake, go for an ice cream shop, an amusement park- whatever, you name it and he can afford it? YOU'RE GOING
-they're all so sweet...
-he's also needy at some point when you're dating
-so...MORE IN MY NSFW LATER
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↳ ❝ [ 菅原孝史 SUGAWARA KOUSHI ] ¡! ❞
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-i'm gonna bet 100 dollars that he's the one confessing
-STEP ONE: get you as his girlfriend
-firstly he's going to ask you to meet him during lunch in the morning
-second when you're both there he confesses
-to his surprise you accept to go out with him and one date turns into two, into three and ON
-STEP TWO: MORE DATES TO COMEEE
-always ice cream dates and baking dates
-always appears to get flour in his fluffy hair
-ALSO ALSO YOU LOVE PATTING HIS HAIR AT ALL TIMES IT'S LIKE COMFORTING YOURSELF
-sometimes picnics too <333
-STEP THREE: there is none for now but THERE WILL BE SOON. SOON ENOUGH.
-his way of giving you affection is by kissing you, cuddling, and giving you praises...
-do you have a praise kink (nvm forget i asked that)
-cuddling in bed is one of his favorite ways to go to sleep
-you stroking his back is too
-you guys are always the talk of the karasuno vb boys group when you guys get together for gatherings (the perfect couple?!?!?!?!)
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↳ ❝ [ 澤村大地 SAWAMURA DAICHI ] ¡! ❞
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-he's definitely the one to confess first being the big boy man he is <3
-literally will kiss you when you accept
-so taken aback you felt like you were going to faint
-his kisses are so gentle help
-ok maybe not sometimes but we all know when that is
-love playing with his ears mayybe?? i know there's nothing different with the rest, but i just feel like it's with daichi
-your first date is an amusement park one ✨✨
-p.s. you shared the cotton candy lmao-
-he literally walked you home and your parents invited him in for dinner
-they like him very much thank you
-relationship has been approved now your parents are urging him to marry you even though it's only one week into the relationship-
-now HE'S the one that pats your head every time he passes you in the hallway or whatsoever
-when you move in together LITERALLY EVERYTHING IS YOUR CHOICE NOW
-you can choose the flat, the decorations, the vibes, the furniture- EVERYTHING
-loves you that much yes
-the sweetest guy ever NO DEBATE
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↳ ❝ [ 月島蛍 TSUKISHIMA KEI ] ¡! ❞
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-SALTY SHIMA. THIS MAN IS SO SALTY
-i swear bro
-he has rizz though that's for sure
-he confesses to you first (it was during lunch you remember the day like it was yesterday)
-his kisses are half spicy (igg since tsukishima is that kinda person)
-the mean to the public and only kind to you kind of person <3
-dates are usually home dates (he's an introvert (i headcanon))
-perhaps if you can persuade him (it's a 50/50)
-first date was a movie date
-then you went home with him (you went to his house)
-and met his parents
-they liked you very much <33 now treat you like their daughter
-the next time you went on a date, you brought him to yours and he made a good impression but they don't love him as much as his parents do to you
-i will write the time skip arc for this because i am biased and you literally can't stop me (but tell me if you want more i'll reblog it with more hcs)
-you were so happy for him when he joined the sendai frogs
-cheered for him on every game (LIKE THE SHIRT AND THE SIGNS AND STUFF)
-facepalmed himself out of spite ya bet he got a scolding for that
-"KEI KEI KEI GANABTTE," that was you, screaming at the top of your lungs at your HUSBAND.
-"oi, tsukki, who's that?"
-tsukishima facepalmed himself, earning a glare from you, "my wife."
-"EHH?? TSUKKI HAS A WIFE??"
-lmao the most normal occurrence
-after that koganegawa would often come to you and ask for dirt on kei (screw him for facepalming)
-saltyshima (in the public) → sweetieshima (in front of you only)
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©marikosenwrites 2024-25 all banners, dividers, and work. please do not steal. i own none of the HAIKYUU!!/ハイキュー!! characters mentioned. reblogs, likes, and comments are welcomed. <3
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isa-ghost · 2 days
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I see you have hcs, do you have any for mr fitmc?
Yes!!
Here's some ones of his relationship with Phil past and present too bc I don't think I have Fit standalone ones until now.
Obviously these will apply to AMFMN Fit too!
Fit is extremely observant and perceptive. Years of roaming a wasteland, spending every minute of every day documenting, chronicling, exploring and witnessing so much really sharpens those kinds of skills. Not much gets past Fit unless he simply wasn't there or doesn't know. All it takes is an inkling and he'll start connecting dots and making theories.
It's why he Hates the Federation. Not only is he an anarchist, he hates the way they make it so easy to keep him in the dark. It's why he weaseled into it in the first position he could get. Being a janitor sucks, but it's something. Anything to get a foundation for making next moves.
He struggles with trust though. He trusts people, but very few if any does he trust whole-heartedly. Pac & Phil are likely the only ones he trusts that much. And even then, he doesn't confide in anyone nearly as deeply as he does Ramon. Spending so much of his life in 2B2T has taught him to reserve trust for people who prove without a doubt that they're ride or die with you. He wishes he didn't find it so difficult to trust more people though.
Okay complete 180 in vibes here but I'm very passionate about this one: Fit has a giant warhammer that's his weapon of choice. Chainsaw, scythe, potato cannon, whatever other stuff he's got is good. But big fucking hammer. With those muscles? Oughoughouhgh.
By the way he never in his life had experienced people simping for his muscles or flirting with him prior to being on QI. It was whiplash and it's changed him for the worst /pos
On the surface it seems like Fit is pretty cold or at least disinterested in stuff that leans on the vulnerable side. It's not entirely wrong, he's spent so long in a place where vulnerability gets your base blown to smithereens or gets you robbed blind or both. But he Does enjoy such things. I mean, just look at the Fitpac date! And hugs? Hugs rock! He'd be so much worse off if he didn't let loose or let himself lower his guard every now and then. It takes a lot of energy to keep those walls up, it'd be unhealthy to never let them down. Especially in a place like Quesadilla Island, where it seems like it's a bit safer to do so. Honestly, he's the opposite of disinterested in letting walls down. He wants that more than anything, and it took being put on QI, becoming a dad, and falling in love for him to realize it.
Which makes keeping up this facade really hard. Not just the whole "snooping for data" thing, just Everything Fit has built himself to be over the years altogether. He doesn't want to keep holding people at arm's length and looking over his shoulder all the time anymore. It's exhausting.
That's not to say he wouldn't relapse right back to how he was before QI softened him up, though. Again, those trust issues. Purgatory really fucked with his head for a while. And plenty of things that happened after, like the whole Phil Ender King thing, really didn't help either. What he's going through is a form of healing, and healing isn't linear.
He isn't afraid to get his hands dirty. Be it with dirt, blood, or otherwise. His motto is you gotta do what you gotta do. He's a very means to an end kinda guy. And despite wishing he could shed being so hardened by the 2B2T Wastelands, he does value that it's given him this kind of strength. It takes a lot to be willing to do whatever it takes to get what you want.
The reason Fit loves fofoca is not only because he enjoys indulging his inner drama whore. He's spent most of his life roaming a place where secrets were as good if not better of a trade than actual currency. When he first arrived on QI, he wasn't entirely sure how to just. Casually socialize. There's little to no risk in it. It was incredibly foreign to him. But it turns out that gossip is like trading secrets in a different font. He's good at that. So collecting and spreading fofoca is how he taught himself to appear kind of "normal" to the other islanders.
Most if not all of the above is also evidence to support the fact that Fit in general is a very adaptive person. You can put him in any environment, as soon as he gets the gist of the status quo and what kind of stakes he's dealing with here, he'll manage no problem. Chances are he's experienced worse. Purgatory and the prison are 2 good examples.
Calling back to the wanting to be vulnerable + confiding in Ramon the most things, GOD is he grateful he got such a brilliant son. Ramon learned a lot from him, but even so, he already had many of the same traits Fit does. It did wonders for bonding, and it's part of what made trusting Ramon come so easy. He's glad he got a son that's so understanding of the way he operates.
The only thing stopping him from taking a page from Cellbit and just starting to kill Feds for information or other reasons is because he knows he'll get more out of playing the long con and letting himself be strung along. Infiltration goes further than outright brutality in his eyes. Brutality is saved for something you no longer need anything from.
Btw his stealth skills are fucking insane. In 2B2T your detection is life or death, and it'll only end in your favor if you can talk sweet enough or have something worth bargaining with. He often did one or the other, but even so, a historian like him typically lacked anything of much value to most bandits and the like. He was simply charismatic and lucky. Which means staying hidden, laying low, and moving with more calculation than a math class is more beneficial to him. And boy has it come in handy on the island too.
In his time on QI, once The Horrors all started, he's learned he really likes having intense intellectual talks with other islanders. Strategizing, theorizing. It feels like the survival he's so used to but with less imminent threats on his life. Bagi especially is an absolute delight to get into these kinds of talks with. It feels like casual socializing and the kind of talking he's used to at the same time. Very much his jam.
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gamerbearmira · 3 days
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Alright, I don't want to brag about anything, but... I really enjoy all the content about the Cocooned AU and few days ago, while re-reading that... I thought of something :
What if, instead of pulling just grandkids... Casita trapped ALL of the Madrigals in their rooms... before falling apart and the family disappearing.
The people, obviously, search over the area for months, but find nothing. Félix and Augustín's families are devastated. Not only had the magical family disappearanced... but also had their sons, daugthers-in-law, grandkids and so on. Félix's family decides to stay low for awhile, while Augustín's completely leaves Encanto, as staying gives them too much pain...
Until, months later, a new little boy is born. To Félix's family, many say he looks like his deceased/disappeared relative and, as if in a joke, they decide to name him after him...
All would go back to normal, unless something else happens... when somebody says there's a couple by a river outside the mountain. A man and woman, in late stages of pregnancy. The villagers, seeing the couple has so threat and in quite vulnerable condition, take them in, until, exactly on birthday of long gone Julieta, Pepa and Bruno, the woman gives birth... to healthy tiny triplets. The fact the couple's names are Alma and Pedro don't help any bit.
While the new parents are happy about their children and that they were born in good condition... the Encanto starts to wonder, who are these people and, some very hopeful, if the Madrigals' magic was able to save them and sent them back, before everything went down the hill. And it all seals when the small house, the two had built on a hill near edge of the small town, starts to glow and comes to life.
And that's when the villagers know. La familia Madrigal is back. But would they tell Pedro and Alma about past life... or, in fear of causing other catastrophe/fall incident, they stay quiet and let the family live their lives, in the dark of their past
NO PLEASE BRAG❗❗ you know how excited I get when I learn someone's reread my stuff like 🤭🤭
NO, BUT THIS IDEA...is so good omg. You know I have thought about that too if all the Madrigals caught a body in that au. Lil' Félix, I'm crying. They probably is was a nice tribute to the real Félix and a sort of morbid joke but like. When Alma and Pedro came back and then Alma had TRIPLETS?? (Who I assume were named Julieta, Pepa, and Bruno lmao). And then their house came to life and has magic. Like they're definitely back.
Also?? Does Agustín’s family come back?? I mean I assume it’s a similar situation to Félix. And I assume if they can leave the Encanto, then news might have spread, and anyone who previously had lived there would recognize the meaning behind “The Madrigals are back”. So would they return?? I mean I assume they would 😭
And I’m not sure, maybe they would stay quiet?? I think it would’ve been pieced together what caused the fall of Casita, at least some, or maybe it’s just paranoia that it’ll happen again, but maybe the villagers just. Don’t say anything about it.
EITHER WAY. I’D LOVE TO SEE MORE OF THIS IF YOU HAVE ANY BUT NO PRESSURE 💪💪
W village for taking in Alma and Pedro
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amuseoffyre · 1 day
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Thinking about the fact that Stede has the flashback to two of the most impactful moments in his childhood immediately after killing Ned.
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The moments where he was:
chased and beaten for being gentle and soft and tied to a dinghy and pelted with rocks
forced to watch his father kill a living creature and was told this was what he had to do in order to be a man and that this is something he will never ever be because of his nature
He retreats to hide. This is the man who said "what if it wasn't like that?" and has wanted to avoid killing if at all possible.
And then Ed comes to him in the room and he grabs him, urgent, panicked, desperate to know he hasn't done something wrong. And Ed, who told him they should go slow, suddenly agrees, changes his mind about the going slow and pulls him in.
In a way, it's kind of solidifying this idea that is lodged in his head that this is what Ed wants in him. He doesn't see Ed look away, stricken, when he strikes the killing blow.
It ties back to the dream in 2x1, when he projected the kind of pirate he thought he had to be when he found Ed: a swashbuckling, masculine bearded equal to him. Also someone who will do the violence in a way he never really has. "Killing. And having to kill". The stuff that sent him into a panic spiral in 1x1.
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The fact that his dream!Ed specifically compliments his beard and he says "I'm trying something new" is so much of Stede's messy subconscious stuff.
Something something, him getting his ear pierced is trying to manifest the piratey appearance he dreamed for himself.
He's never believed he could be enough as himself: "I'm afraid your life is better without me" and agreeing with Chauncey when he's called a plague and a defiler of beautiful things.
So some twisted up logic in his brain is saying "this is what Ed wants" because Ed sleeps with him after he does a man's work. Layered onto that is Ed congratulating him on his fame and encouraging him to enjoy it.
So surely, this is what Ed wants, right? Ed has wanted him to be more like this the whole time, hasn't he? He can do that! He's being a real man! He even has a man in a bloody apron telling him he's "the fuckin' dude". He's accomplished Real Man status! He's not going to be seen as the soft-handed, weak-hearted, lily-livered little rich boy anymore. He's accepted and celebrated and people "like me for me".
Only then, out of nowhere for him, Ed tells him it was a mistake and leaves him. His entire perspective of what's been happening crumbles around him. Ed's tendency to deflect with metaphor and subtext and Stede's need for directness clash so hard. Ed has so much spiralling in his noggin, but he doesn't explain any of it, and Stede can't see any reason for what's happening.
And the next we see of him, miserable in the pub, Izzy scatters his new 'friends' with a word. Suddenly he's alone again and not even adequate enough for people to stay with him. Everyone leaving him because even when he's the Celebrated Gentleman Pirate, he's not enough.
And that's why we get the framing of him exactly as we did in the scene when his father tore verbal strips out of him and told him he was worth nothing.
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For a moment, Izzy manages to ground him, reassure him and stop him doing something reckless that'd get him killed.
And then the rest of Stede's crew choose to start leaving him and it's the straw that breaks the camel's back, because Ed leaving is bad but his crew - his found family - leaving him for someone who planned to execute half of them? Like he's nothing to them? That's the thing that shatters him, so he goes toe-to-toe with Zheng, despite knowing she is his superior in every possible way.
Like Ed, he's going to watch the world burn or die trying.
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maddy-ferguson · 1 year
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i havent seen a single marvel movie btw
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achairwithapandaonit · 9 months
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by any chance does anyone have any demon slayer fic recs where nezuko is actually more of a proper character and gets development and is allowed to grow? cause honestly the further i've gotten in this manga the more disappointed in it i've been with the lack of meaningful development, especially in nezuko
#no idea if this is actually a controversial opinion on the series cause i've not come across much criticism#but i do think it falls short on every character. the concepts are great and i enjoy the characters and had a lot of fun watching and#reading this series. but i do think that it fails to do much that's actually meaningful or impactful with any of the characters#ready to be disagreed with but i feel like the only development nezuko ever got was when she went to attack those humans and had to#be restrained by tanjirou. and it falls incredibly flat when she never really has any other struggles other than at the start of the series#i thought she was meant to be a main character but she's more like a set piece#maybe i'm just missing something cause i'm still about 50 chapters from the end. but i just got so disappointed after they did nothing with#her becoming sun resistant except pull a gag that i didn't want to pick the manga up again#like that was the chance to do more with her and finally give her development and let her relationships develop! and the fact that they did#nothing kind of highlighted to me that the series really hadn't done much with any of the characters#there's beats where it feels like there's growth but i don't actually know what about the characters has grown??? apart from getting a new#power and being stronger because of it#they don't grow as characters. and supposed development only ever happens during fights or off screen#anyway i should stop criticising. i'm just very disappointed cause i really enjoyed the manga and then that happened and it was like what's#the point#criticism#demon slayer criticism#<- so you can block the tag if you don't want to see this stuff#it feels very negative for the fact that you really can't expect much from shounen. and i DID enjoy it. it's just disappointing#(the shinobu thing is also annoying. like i like that she can't decapitate demons and that she uses poison but the reason for it being that#she's weak and small is bullshit and FEELS like it's written that way because she's a woman)
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lunarharp · 1 year
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outside the sanctum of lady edelgard's parlour - that birthplace of so many plots through the years - how absurd it seems. but now several seasons since the long war's end, needs be that someone go to leicester. the gesture has grown necessary, and ultimately, it does have to be him.
"and you. I want you with me," is how hubert concludes. simple is best, perhaps. ferdinand sits very still before him, hand over mouth. "look - this was never my idea. but I also can't downplay your role. I hope I've elucidated how valuable your presence would be."
"you - you really have. I," and he takes a strong sip of wine, then another. (hubert pours a generous replacement.) "excuse me." he then moves to the adjoining room, and paces rapidly for a good many minutes.
this is as difficult for me as it is for you, is what hubert longs to call, fingers pressed to his temple. but he has already put that mortification aside out of necessity, and his duty now is to affect total calm. he must not distract from the seriousness of the endeavour, nor the confidence lady edelgard has imparted in them.
ferdinand doesn't need to know that he needed a full day to process the idea.
 "hubert, dorothea once confided in me a worry. that if I were to wish you marry, whosoever I commanded you take as your partner you would accept. well, I ask you now to put on the act."
a ~17k T-rated ferdibert fic for the “fake dating” prompt 🧡 🖤
link!
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baishouqijia · 1 year
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i am desperately trying to be more active but i'm experiencing mental burnout. just want to say thank you for the interactions even when i'm only checking in here now and again - i'll respond when i'm feeling better! <3
#nothing really happened - work and the house just got on top of me.#for context i was promoted to a management position in october and i hit my stride so i have a lot of responsibilities and i'm hhh.#having to play catch up in terms of skillset. i'm good at my job but i'm not the best - therefore ? i must keep pushing :y#as for home... Man (horse.jpg)#we bought a house a year ago. i envy people who renovate days after moving in. we're a year in and i'm only just redoing the kitchen floor#after a leak that happened in JUNE 2022. it's expensive as fuck and takes so much time.#i'm so fortunate to be able to afford a house but like. i won't lie. it's really hard having to be responsible for everything that goes#wrong with it. my kitchen has been subfloor for months. we destroyed our kitchen island trying to make room for the floor to be done#so we're down storage and stuff is just piling up. eh i know this is like. first world problem and really not a big deal.#but when your house is in disrepair because you don't have the money to fix it quickly or time to do it yourself. shit's hard.#anyway this is a rant. don't want a wrench or a tissue- just wanna get it out.#[puts on pantalone hat] i have money anxiety too#like i earn the most i've ever earned. i won't really get much higher than this atm. i'm due a bonus and i can cash out my shares#but fixing up the house is so expensive. i'm worried i'm gonna lose it all somehow. idfk why. when things are going well i worry i'm gonna#lose it all somehow. growing up poor does a number on your resource guarding. if i spend a penny I Will Lose It All.#' dima why do you like pantalone so much ' HE JUST LIKE ME FRRRR#sry this is a ramble . i treat tumblr tags like my diary but i hope you enjoyed the read xoxox#anyways! point is! i'm alive! i'm itching to come back but i dont have the mental space for fun rn.#can't have fun until i feel safe enough to have fun if that makes sense.#aight byeee
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running-in-the-dark · 2 months
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I know I've been particularly incoherent for the past few days (again), and it's so dramatic and ridiculous but it seriously feels like something is punishing me. I just want to like things a normal amount. I just want to like people and characters a normal amount.
I don't want to become so fully obsessed that literally nothing else exists and thinking about anything else feels like my brain is being stabbed with a thousand tiny knives. I don't want to need to find every piece of information I possibly can on whoever it is this time. I don't want to feel like I'm (literally) losing my mind when I see them. I don't want any of this!
I can not believe that I exist as a human being on this stupid planet just to get obsessed with people over and over and over again forever.
#like it's not. fun. it's not 'oh haha I just like this guy a lot :3' no it feels like. dying.#like I said I know it's fucking dramatic I know. but it feels SO BAD#and sometimes SO GOOD because nothing else gives my brain that feeling but god damn it most of the time it's just painful#maybe I should try drugs#probably.#maybe I should start drinking again#that made it bearable#but no that's. stupid#but my god how am I supposed to go through this again and again and again so many times in a row#I don't know how to explain how fucking devastating it is to attach yourself to. some stupid idiot (I'm sorry I don't mean that.). only to#not really care anymore after a couple months#what do you MEAN. I literally love this person with every stupid fibre of my stupid being and now he's just. some guy again??#I don't know. how. not to do this. it's not a choice! it's not something I DO. it HAPPENS to me.#and it only doesn't happen when I'm so depressed that I want to actively die.#anyway yeah it's about John Larroquette and Dan Fielding and Jenkins and yeah I'm the fucking stupidest fucking dumbass on earth#someone hit me in the head to fix my brain please#and seriously this is not normal. it can not be normal. this is not how normal people feel about stuff. it can't be#I think this is why I don't get fandom culture. and shipping specifically. like. no I'm not. I'm not enjoying these characters. I'm not#watching this show and thinking aww these two should kiss :)#I'm. not there anymore. I don't fucking exist. all I do. is think about this person. I can't stop it.#I am not a person when I don't feel like this. I'm not even real. I'm just whoever I'm obsessed with. I say that so much but that's how it#feels! I'm not real.#so anyway when I say 'haha I'm fine' what I mean is no I'm not someone make my brain work right please#I just. see him and start crying. because it's so overwhelming.#maybe I should find a therapist and hope they speak English and show them this post :)#haha no that's ridiculous I could never mention this to a normal person#guess I'll just keep driving myself to insanity with this crap.#personal
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nevoadecaipora · 3 months
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cookiepwee · 9 months
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Marathon Trilogy fans on tumblr how far have you gone into the Eternal Champion derangement rabbit hole that Marathon Infinity theorists have?
#durandal#marathon#personally I take a lot of infinity to be much more to do with the cyborg's rampancy than truly literal altho some of it is 'real' ofc#it's a very expansion pack but with an insane plot slapped on moment#which i enjoy but also i much prefer the idea of durandal and the cyborg going to fuck around with some rogue star#and also I Like Allegory and Themes... and Tones#which bungie used to be all about#THEMATICALLY Durandal and the Cyborg shouldn't be seperated#But M3 is more or less about rampancy so it's also about Durandal's own experience and that game only ends with him finding peace of mind#(Which also why I think it's more allegorical themes/mental issue than a literal experience)#eg some things that happen with the characters just do not make sense and even if some fo the stuff is real - it's warped perception#why do video essayists say the dream terminals do not relate to anything??? they obviously relate to both cyborg and durandal#and their respective issues and guilts#gamers i'm writing an essay in the tags again#lastly i don't know if i believe durathoth would actually be telling cyburger to actually go away#he just isn't going to stop him#but what does he have left to go back to like all of his friends are dead#tones and themes#Also Cyborg still needs to be there for the ending of M2 to exist so... maybe defeating the w'rkncacnter in any plane defeats it like#in all spaces#security officer is so wiwi#btw this guy calls durandal a Crazy Computer to his face and then proceeds to follow his orders for the three ensuing games#extremely normal behaviour#All Opinion post#I'm biased#mendicant biased even#btw cortana has a lot of durandal sass dna i think they would have got along#none of these tags have anything to do with the eternal champion comparisons sorry#i think comparing durandal to stormbringer is a false equivalence tho#other than the codependence and violense and
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astrxealis · 1 year
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there were so many pretty flowers !!!!! <3
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debleb · 1 year
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americans try not to immediately turn anything irish into magical mystical uwu pagan faeries challenge (100% IMPOSSIBLE)
#i s2g if i see one more comment on a gaeilge song saying some shit like#this is what i would listen to if i was dancing in the forest with the fae#you guys do realise you can show your appreciation for a country/culture#without associating the entire country with the tumblrised version of its mythology that you only know about#from 3 skimmed twitter posts and an interperative YA romance novel#it could be worse i guess#but i'm just really sick of literally anything vaguely celtic just getting watered down into tinkerbell bullshit#that isn't ~ethereal magical ancient elf music~ that's an actual people's music and was probably written at the very most 200 years ago#i'm glad people are enjoying it but you can stop boiling down our whole country into some ideal cottagecore fairy land already#it's just as disrespectful as doing that to any other culture. at least to me#im thinking mostly of music here because that's where i see this shit happening a LOT#like any ~medieval tavern vibes~ playlist you click on is pretty much guaranteed to be like minimum 30% modern as gaeilge music#but it happens with pictures and stuff too#despite popular opinion all those beautiful hashtag aesthetic pictures of glens and woodlands don't make up the entire country.#like were not all living in the 1600s here#anyway rant over tldr you can stop calling irish music magic gibberish fairy spells now especially if you barely know the first thing of#what youre talking about when it comes to irish folklore#ok i know it's probably not just americans doing this also but i mean. i don't want to be rude or anything but americans tend to be#bad for this stuff
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solradguy · 1 year
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I came to terms with the Sol kinnie thing months ago now because honestly who gives a shit, but every now and then I'll find myself in a situation where I wonder if whatever it was I was about to do was/is a pre- or post-Guilty Gear interest lol
#textpost#Most of them have been pre-Guilty Gear interests which is honestly hilarious#Like of course I don't have proof for most of it but my fursona is the funniest one#He's basically bootleg furry Sol Badguy BUT he was like that MONTHS before I got into GG#I've been thinking about this over the last few days though#Because I was doing some Queen stuff and had a thought like 'am I only doing this because my brain's weird or do I actually care'#And went through like a checklist of things. I do actually care#Sol is like frighteningly relatable though and sometimes I wish he wasn't lol#I typed this at 2am last night but saved it to my drafts instead of publishing it haha Still kinda feeling it this morning though tbh#I wish I could better articulate or find a term that describes how I relate to Sol better because 'kin/fictionkin' feels too...#Hmm.... Psycho-religious? A lot of essays I read while initially figuring this out related the kin tag to something more like a-#-Philosophy or something similar to a religion#But for me it's more like my brain filling in empty spaces within itself because No One was like me growing up and#now that I'm also trans there are even LESS people who are like me#So my brain sees a character that's similar to me and is like 'oh holy shit it's us. Let's be like that' hahah#This got really long I should've put it up in the post sorry lmfao#Anyway this is something I've done my whole life and 'kinning' is really the only term that fits what it is even if it's not a 1:1 fit#It usually doesn't bother me but knowing that some of the things I enjoy now I probably won't later once my interests shift again does#I still keep waiting for it to happen with Guilty Gear but GG is so different from anything else I've been into I'm not sure it will#Since most of the things I like about GG were things I liked before getting into it. Like heavy metal & weird scifi/fantasy#I'm not going to elaborate on how exactly I relate to Sol also. My blog is too public for that#and this post is already a little too personal#kin tag
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#some Things#in no particular order and of no particular importance#but posted here to get them out of my head so that I can focus on other stuff (and so that I have a record of them for later):#1) I spent an hour this morning taking various ASD/autistic traits tests and consistently scored just above the threshold on all of them#this doesn't really tell me anything new#except that I'm probably not faking it or just trying to make myself feel 'special' whenever I feel like I'm not myself#and have to put a lot of effort into Being Normal in public settings#almost all of the tests had a strong emphasis on masking and social competency skills and that's where I was scoring highest#I suspect that this only further confirms my suspicions that I am neurodivergent (prob ADHD) and due to my educational style#and the setting and circumstances of most of my childhood development years#did not realize that I was Odd until very recently#2) I just discovered that the lead pastor of the church attended by a theologian/apologist/bible teacher who I really respect#and enjoy learning from#got his first degree from the uni I want to attend#this also means nothing. but it was a fun discovery.#I have heard that the school has changed a good bit since the time he would've graduated#in ways that I'm not sure I can judge as fully Good or Bad.#but it's encouraging to know that it has a history and a name out there that's mostly a good one#...I feel like there is at least one more Thing I am forgetting to mention but I cannot remember it at the mo so I will return and add it#if I do happen to remember it later on#personal
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