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bomberqueen17 · 2 months

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*vibrating slightly in place*

So ok. When I was in kindergarten, my classroom was arranged so that four desks were linked together, so we were in little groups. I used to regularly vibrate my desk and the three it was attached to, with three other children in them, across several feet of floor space, until the linked desks ran into the teacher's desk, which was larger and did not move with the force of my vibrations. I was a good student, but hard to control, and markedly uneven in my ability to like. Do anything. "Well," my mom said once, upon beholding my entire spectrum of a report card, "we'd just hate to be bored."

When I graduated with my bachelor's degree, seventeen years later, my mom said "I never thought you could do it," and when I, shocked, said "what?" she said "well what with your ADHD and all," and I said "my what?" and she said "well, i never wanted to shake your confidence, and I thought once they put a label on you it'd be over, but you super have like, turbo ADHD. Why, what do you think your deal is?" She said it nicely and not in those words at all, but it was the first time I'd ever really realized that I wasn't just mildly eccentric, I did seem to actually have something wrong with me.

I've been trying to get a diagnosis ever since. I've never been able to. I had no health insurance at all for a huge chunk of my twenties, which put a damper on things. One doctor told me "you'd know if you had that" and when I was like "I... do" she was like "no i mean. you'd already be being treated." Which shows a wild and totally unwarranted optimism in our medical system, but she was a resident. The doctor overseeing her care of me suggested I try taking fish oil capsules. To "rebuild my brain tissue".

I did. It didn't help. I still buy them but mostly I use them now to get my cat to take pills.

Eventually in my 30s my doctors started sort of believing me maybe, or at least realizing they couldn't really brush me off (I have gotten... less easily-cowed as I've aged) but they were all like "oh, I can't evaluate that. You'll have to research and find a place that can do a neuropsych eval for you. Insurance doesn't cover those. So good luck. Have some antidepressants in the meantime."

I slid into my 40s, still undiagnosed. I read as many self-help books on the topic as I could find, did all the checklists I found. They all said "girl you super have like turbo ADHD." I tried meditation. I tried divination. I tried bullet journaling, which was hilarious. I tried yoga.

I actually damaged myself doing yoga and am banned from yoga, but at least I'm in physical therapy now. (Word to the wise: if you have really really flexible hip joints, don't fucking do yoga. "Usually I don't have to tell people not to get into that position," said my bemused physical therapist. "Oh," I said, blissfully bepretzeled. "It feels super good." "Mm," she said, "you've torn your labrum. Stop doing that." Now I do really, really boring stretches that don't feel nearly as good, but I also can walk without limping, so. Like. We take the good with the bad I guess.)

Anyway. My PCP in January was like "wait you didn't follow my super vague directions to go see 'the guys downstairs' and see if they can squeeze you into their eleven-month waiting period to get an evaluation that i cannot mention without saying it's several thousand dollars and your insurance surely won't cover it? you must not want this diagnosis very badly!" (At no point has anyone ever given me a phone number for 'the guys downstairs'. I still don't know what she meant by any of those directions. This PCP and I technically speak the same language but I've never understood a single thing she has told me and I don't think she understands a word I say in return, everything I tell her seems to be such a shock to her. You blame antidepressants for your weight gain? I've never heard of that. Ma'am please look up what the incredibly common side effects of antidepressants are.)

I called around but noplace both took my insurance and was accepting new patients. Finally I gave up. Then my Dude went on our insurance company's website and took over the search. He found that there's some kind of concierge service thing, which the insurance company normally charges $450/mo for but our plan includes it, because it's pretty well-hidden on the website and most people aren't ever going to find it anyway. So he said, you know what, I am going to instigate a query on this.

They took two weeks but eventually came back with a list of 13 places, most of them not remotely local. Ten of them were red X's, disqualified for varying reasons-- one because the phone number didn't work, another because it's a seven-hour drive away and doesn't do telehealth. One was in New Jersey. None of them were the local places I had already called.

Two of them were valid, but the insurance wouldn't cover the evaluation for various reasons.

One of them was fully covered, the insurance company said. So I went there.

Their website said "no you're not we can't see you". But Dude was like, call them on the phone. Surely, surely, the concierge service couldn't have lied??? Bet, I said, and called them and left a message, and said to him, if they call me back I will eat a hat.

But they did. They called me back. "Our insurance checker widget is down," they said. "But we do take your insurance! We can see you. We just don't know how much it will cost."

Ominous.

But. They could see me later in the week, via a telehealth appointment.

So I signed up.

The appointment was this morning. I turned up. Their insurance checker thingy still wasn't working so they couldn't be sure how much the appointment would cost me. I at this point don't care, and gave them my HSA credit card, and said do what you will.

I waited 45 minutes and then texted the number they'd texted me from with the confirmation, and a moment later the guy showed up. "Whoops," he said, "that system isn't working quite right either!"

He talked to me for like. Three minutes, and was like "yeah that sounds. Pretty textbook. I'm going to prescribe you stimulants." He then proceeded to take a very basic medical history, and I recognized all the questions because I have researched stimulant medication for ADHD so much. And he was like "We're going to start with Adderall, check at your pharmacy in like an hour." And then he gave me extremely useful and detailed instructions on how to take it, when to take it, what side effects to worry about, what to expect, what to note down in case it might mean a problem, and how to be safe about it. (He asked me three times if I'd ever been suicidal, and it had also been in the online pre-screening. I am aware that can be a rare but very serious side effect of stimulants!)

And then I went to Rite-Aid and I now have 16 pills in my possession, and i am going to wait until tomorrow morning to start taking them, and I am already scheduled for my follow-up in 15 days.

I have absolutely no idea how much any of that is going to cost, but for the record the pills were eleven dollars.

So. I don't know why the last decade of my life has been spent being told that a comprehensive and unattainably expensive neuropsychological evaluation was my only option. Maybe this place is a disreputable pill mill or whatever. But. I am going to get to try to medicate this disorder that has warped my entire life to this point, and I am going to try to see if I can't have some more control over my life, and if it doesn't work then at least I will know, instead of on my deathbed being like "i wonder if i'd ever tried amphetamines maybe I'd have been able to finish a project ever in my life, guess we'll never know".

Which was what I was starting to genuinely think was going to happen.

Literally though why can't a primary care doctor just refer you to a psychiatrist who can then decide whether you need an assessment or whether your condition is likely to respond well to a basic diagnosis?? I get needing the whole nine yards if you're not sure what's wrong with this kid and you don't want to give them the wrong thing-- like I know misdiagnosing a bipolar sufferer with depression can give you really bad outcomes, for example-- but-- I don't know? I don't know.

I just want to be able to start and finish projects. What I'd really love is to be able to make to-do lists meaningfully, as that is an ability I did used to have and now absolutely don't. I legit cannot make a to-do list in any meaningful or useful way.

So we'll see. I'm going to keep a journal and the real test of whether the pills work is to see whether I can actually keep the journal.

But I need to find some kind of edible hat, at some point, just to keep my word.

#about the author #actually adhd

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be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie · 6 months

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First of all, no worries lol. It's taken me literal months to respond to people sometimes, and not for any good reason so I'd say you're fine.

Anyways, with that out of the way let me just say I find that interesting. Kiri, to me, has always come off as someone who attaches herself to one place. In my experience, there's a difference between being able to adapt/connect anywhere you go and truly being a traveler at heart, and Kiri strikes me as the former. She yearns to dig deeper into her knowledge and connections regarding her home and thrives on the familiarity of the people, plants, and animals around her whereas I feel like Lo'ak needs to travel, needs to get out from under his father and brother's shadows. To just exist and be himself, find himself and his place without all of the history surrounding his birthplace. That's not to say I think Kiri doesn't like experiencing new things, I just see her as a very nostalgic and sentimental person who finds peace in the plants and animals and people she's known her whole life.

Ikr! I don't know why I haven't seen a single fic about it yet, but rest assured I have a doc opened rn (I feel like my wip list is just getting longer and longer dude). Little fun fact about me: I took horseback riding lessons for a good 5.5 years and so I'll be leaning heavily on those experiences for how Spider approaches his own riding experiences as a human (with obvious differences). There's something to be said for the feeling of a creature so much more powerful than yourself under you, having to be conscious of its every move, every action---the flick of its ears, the position of its head, etc.---- without being able to know for sure it's true thoughts or emotions but trusting it anyways that brings you closer to it in a way I can't explain, even with the ones you don't get along with. And I want that for Spider, I want him to embrace his humanity in this.

He doesn't end up in Awa'atlu at first for the ilu racing one, no. I've got a good idea what I want from this fic in the beginning, but what happens after he escapes is something I'm still pondering. I know for a fact I wouldn't want this to be a story where he stumbles upon Awa'atlu, though, if I end up writing it. I'm thinking maybe he ends up back at that one village and goes from there?

And I figured I'd tell you about another fic I'm working on as we speak because I'd love your thoughts: a world where Paz actually died back on Earth, but per a contract she signed giving away her memories (which she logged regularly) she was revived in an avatar body and put in the newest program. In this program, males and females are paired together to have children (for less than wholesome reasons). A big part of this is Paz being haunted by her experiences on Earth and not wanting to be a mother because of it, and she struggles to come to terms with it over the course of her pregnancy and the early days after Spider is born, along with being in this alien body that doesn't feel like hers. I think that by the time she's gotten pregnant with the 2nd child (they're going for a boy and girl per pairing) and is coming out of her numb fog, she's begun to truly think about the horrific future that awaits Spider and her unborn baby (spurred on by the threat of killing it if it's not a girl) and ends up plotting their escape and running away. Throughout the story thus far she's bonded with the other women in the program and comes to learn about motherhood and what it means to her, and when she escapes she takes the others with her and they make their own little family before eventually running into the Omaticaya and slowly becoming friendly. I'm playing around with timelines and stuff because I think it'd be interesting to compare her and Neytiri's and Grace's experiences with motherhood, which would be so interesting to write about (Grace doesn't die until later in this world, don't wanna give away the death I'm leaning towards though). I'm taking inspiration from the poetry book 40 Weeks and more, and I love the concept but am still working out the kinks. Thoughts? Still very much in the early phases.

Also, I saw you briefly mention my memory-loss idea and I'd like to say that that brought me literal physical pain. Why, you may ask? Well because my one and only doc of the draft I was merrily working on (around 10+ pages of gorgeous notes/early rough-draft work, which for me is astounding since I tend to just ball) was deleted??? And I don't know the fuck how???? 1000 emotional damage points.

And I'm so happy to hear you've taken inspiration from fmdttpt's world! Your idea sounds so fun!

~ CherryApollo

Haha, thank you, and I'm sorry I've done it again. I've been so busy with my new job that I am swamped all the time, lol. I'm bad at responding anyway but my job is making it even worse.

BUT ANYWAYS. I love your interpretations of the characters, I just love when people think of or experience characters differently but in a way that still fits to me. For Kiri, I've just always seen her feeling at home anywhere that Eywa is, and wanting to experience every part of her. Every way she can feel her or be expressed, explore different plants and animals and nature and study and be a part of it the way her mom would've wanted to. And I just think Lo'ak gets bored easily lol.

I looove the horse comparison, it's shocking no one has written this fic yet! You have a ton going but it's okay because I'm excited for all of them. Humans are experts at taming and riding shit, why can't he, especially something as intelligent as an ikran.

Hmm, okay, the village makes sense. They would be able to tell Tonowari and therefore the Sully's real fucking fast through, so it would be kinda similar to him finding Awa'atlu. You coullllld have him escape in the forest and find the Sully's missing? I've always wanted one of those fics.

That's a really interesting idea! I personally don't care much for Paz as a character, or stories about her, but that is a very cool idea and I'd definitely check it out to see where it goes.

NO NO YOUR MEMORY LOSS FIC IS ONE I'VE BEEN SO EXCITED ABOUT, THAT'S THE SADDEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD. Google doc man, I only use google docs.

And thank u for being chill with me getting inspired by/using it! I'm trying to catch up on all my asks today (answer but not post, I schedule those), so hopefully I'll be faster to answer you next time! I'm excited to hear how your works are going!

#i swear the asks are coming i'm catching up and i'm scheduling them i promise #kiri sully #miles spider socorro #lo'ak sully #spider socorro #spider sully #paz socorro #grace augustine #tonowari #ronal #avatar #avatar the way of water #james cameron avatar #melissa's asks #melissa on avatar (cameron)

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koishua · 1 year

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oh i love you for rbing hee angsts for me even though they leave a huge impact— yours specifically, for some reason ( im saying this again, vie, drop the secrets ) AND NO IT WASN'T JUST 'OH POOR BOY' FIC i mean maybe, yeah, sort of? but i was having a terrible terrible morning and my intention was to read a cute candle light dinner fic heeseung but who knew you had plans on lighting candles for the reader instead :/

AND THE LONG FIC. i am very intrigued actually, tell me more i think i'm ready to consume more of heeseung on the verge of insanity ( i think we're calling him that every time he's in your fic ) now that i've woken up from a power nap

no bc im trying to look at my fics and i can't find proper dialogue like where are the conversations?? my secret i think is just a crap ton streams of consciousness bye 🚶🚶reader and hee barely ever talk it's just like: here's what's happening in this poor little meow meow's heart and mind. have it, ty and goodbye!!

im sorry for catching you on a bad morning tho ngl ☹️☹️ but also pls 😭😭 that's so funny actually i only have two proper-ish hee fluffs and one's a blind date gone wrong but also right??? and another is just sleepy hee 🚶🚶

the longfic!! yes!! i deleted it and a bunch of others in my bout of fury and annoyance at my writing (more like lack of ability to write actual plot lmao) before i went on that two month writing hiatus so it's gone rip 🤭🤭 but it was something i'd been toying with for so so long like you know that one scene in fever of hee just tired and in bed?? it was inspired by that but instead of horny it was just sadness and sorrow lmao it's actually hilarious how that came to be the more i think about it

it was originally going to start off with that snippet i posted, which was the prologue and it would then spiral into these glimpses at his inability to wake up from this quiet and empty world he'd built for himself in your wake. lots of moments where i was showing him doing and feeling absolutely nothing for weeks on end and just the menial things yada yada and one day the 02z would try to unsuccessfully break his door down so they send a wellness check and whatnot and that's where his healing process began i guess.

it would be rocky and he'd constantly succumb back into his grief bc just like in "second death" he'd become so attached to reader that without them he just wasn't whole enough to function. it'd then go into flashbacks where i was showing everyone how up until then, he had only been living for you and only you. but the boys would take turns crashing at his place and taking him out to places and doing things that would slowly make him return to himself. god there was this one instance where they'd catch him dancing by himself in the candlelight and he was so out of himself that it honestly broke even my heart. they would realize that he kept seeing reader as if they were physically there as a means to cope and it was so heartbreaking i can't begin explaining it to you ugh

eventually the more he started to feel better and the less he started relying on drinking, the more sinister your ghost would become and there would be times where he'd wake up from a dream he had of something nice (other than you at long last) to your ghost just smiling eerily at him from beside his bed, telling him that he was starting to forget about you and how cruel that was of him and that was the first time the boys would ever hear him cry after your departure. the guilt would eat him up alive. logically he knows that you'd want him to be happy and move on but the part in his brain that's so self loathing just makes him see you everywhere so that he never ever forgets about you.

anyhow that's all i had written i think and revisiting it makes me SO want someone to write this out for me 😞😞

#ii. ( pt ) —! asks #tw: death #tw: mental health #?? just in case

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beaversatemygrandma · 10 months

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I just have got to say the HUGE positive from today.

So, the guy I've been talking to since the end of last year. The old friend from high school that's sort of just turned into a whole long distance relationship. Love him to death, he's amazing.

He Sent Me MONEY. I was just sitting there on the phone just venting about the weird situation with my mom and how i couldn't afford my car insurance even with my dad's help without putting us in the negatives. This boy thought about it last night and was basically just assuring me that i wouldn't need to pay him back. Just "I care about you and i really don't want to see you struggling, but we'll figure it out in the morning." And i wake up the morning to my phone ringing with a call at like 10. He just wakes me up to basically say "How in the HELL can i send you money?" And me. Tired. "...I have a routing number." If i was more aware, i probably would've beaten around the bush again and try to convince him otherwise. But no. He wasn't taking no for an answer. And i just woke up, heard i was getting money, and got out bed. We go through a whole damn thing and before i can even say how much he sends me a damn thousand. I ONLY NEEDED $460. This Fucking Guy. Wouldn't take no for an answer and basically wanted me covered until getting that damn online job went through (we're slowly chugging through training shit that'll only get $50 and hoping that we can actually make a wage with it...) But oh my god, i know you've been in love with me since we were 15, but damn. It's greatly appreciated that's for sure.

And then comes other plans to just help fix this whole situation of basically possibly not having a landing pad to go back home. He wants to give me a home. A solid place to be for longer than a year or two for the first time since 2017 for me. He brought up that there's an attached 1-bedroom apartment connected to his mom's house. He was offered to move there a few times and he just never did it, having been at his grandparents' his whole life. But the offer is essentially him moving there. Getting that set up into a proper place to live. The place already sounds nice. The house is a remodeled warehouse outside of town. It's just a standalone thing connected by a single door to the main house, on top of the carport. Full bathroom. Full kitchen. Full bedroom and living room. Bonus points for being outside of town in the quiet area between my hometown and the small farm town like ten miles out. So, we're talking quiet area with LOTS OF WALKING AREA AND TREES. :D More bonus points: It'd be cheap. It's his mom's property. I'd be able to get a dog and have animals in the house. It's got a nice screened in porch above the carport. It just Sounds Cozy. Let's just hope the neighbors are nice to this strange effeminate man and his butch girlfriend lol (It's FL. I'm not coming out yet. Fuck that. Not there. That's the NO-GO State.)

But ah. Like, my mom's whole thing is more terrifying than I'd like to admit. It's hard to not be scared of it. Like, i feel like she'd finally treat me like an adult and respect my choices of leaving the house and whatever else, but i have the weird feeling it might eventually just feel like I'm trapped again. Sure, it would just be us two. But it'd be me alone with her in a totally new area. I wouldn't know anyone. I wouldn't know the area. It's just scary. So I'm hoping she doesn't outright buy a house. I'm hoping i can have a few months down there. I make sure that i can have a physically close relationship with this guy. I make sure that he's set up in that apartment and i like his family (he says I'd get along with his mom and sister. They seem interesting.) I could easily move in with him. Have a place to ourselves for the first time. Have something that feels more home ourselves. My mom can go off wherever she wants, but i hope she thinks twice about leaving my sister in her college apartment without a landing pad to go home to after college or if she breaks up with her bf. I'm used to moving around. She JUST got there at the start of this semester. I'm scared FOR my sister. At least if I'm there we'd have a couch for her to crash on before likely heading up here to our dad. Like quite literally after hearing our mom was going to go buy a house in TN and sell hers, both of us went crying to him because she's just jumping the gun here without even thinking of us. We may both be adults now, but we're still very much baby adults who are still trying to learn how to live. I don't want her stuck with my whole thing of basically relying on a boyfriend to do anything. But she already is. It's basically been our only choice. We do things ourselves, but we just need somebody with us. Somebody there to help and if it's not her, then it's my dad who's barely scraping by, or our current partner. Hell, if anything happened there, I'd be willing to pull her into a situation when it comes to the plan after having a cooldown period back in the hometown and finding a place out of state that's actually affordable and i won't get harassed for using a public bathroom.

But ah. I feel like something is going right. But I'm Still Very Terrified of all of it. Like i want to give my mom a chance, i really do, but that's a very scary situation. She still talks to her nazi ex-husband. There's still a chance that he'd be around. And there's still a chance that she might just take control over me again. I don't like those chances. I really don't. But at least i have the most damn supportive person with me now.

#taks speaks #i'm still terrified though but at least i'm not broke as all hell anymore #i just needed to get that out #that was A LOT today ngl

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jazminetoad · 3 years

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In My Reality | Prologue

Hey, I was bored so I decided to start a fanfic series of the Tatsumi Brothers from Juuni Taisen. Yay

It’s a “Tatsumi Brother x Reader” story about how the Tatsumi Brothers enter the reader’s reality which kinda flips her world upside down.

So I just finished the prologue. If you guys like it or if I’m bored again, I’ll make the first chapter. (Click “Keep Reading” to read the story)

"[Name] get out of bed; It's 3 in the afternoon," my mom told me as she came into my room with fresh, clean clothes. I didn't have to look over to know.

Groaning, I removed my mask from my eyes then rolled over to face up at the white ceiling. The sunlight seeping in from the blinds caused my sight to cringe before it finally adjected to the light and I could see the grey walls lurking in the corner of my eyes. Arising from my queen-sized bed a yawn escaped from my mouth. My form reached over and placed my sleep mask on the nightstand, next to my water mug.

"Morning mom," I greeted her as she sorted out the pile of clothes on my dresser. Looks like she did a colour load, which means no pants to put away.

"Morning sweetheart. Can you put your clothes away before you come downstairs?"

"Sure," I simply answered as I slipped out of the cozy sheets I once was tangled in.

"Thank you. I'll see you when you come down," she stated, placing the last of my t-shirts neatly on the others. Afterwards, she wrapped her arms around the remaining clean, clothes that weren't mine, carefully balancing them as she left my room and closed the door behind.

The click of the doorknob echoed into my ears when my feet landed on the fuzzy rug. My eyes drifted their gaze to the plain black bodypillow wrapped in [f/c] blankets, reminding me of a burrito. It just had the colour for the case, no special Anime character on it. I wish there were one though; it'd make the nights seem less lonely to see my favourite character's face on it. However, a pillow is a pillow. Despite me using it as an illusion for myself it doesn't change the reality that when I hug it in my sleep or when I'm awake no arms will return my embrace.

A sigh falls out of my breath, my eyelids dropping in sync. I turned my head away from the lying pillow and dragged myself to the other side of my bed, towards the dresser that patiently held the clean clothes my mom put there. I opened a drawer, putting my undergarments away first then my socks. Once those were put away, I moved to retrieve hangers from my closet, passing by my desk and shelves as I did.

If you were wondering why I slept so late into the afternoon, well, it's currently winter break, so that means I can stay up late and sleep in late past noon. Sadly enough, it's January which means the break almost over, and that means school is standing around the corner, menacingly. Just the thought of it disturbs my mind as that reality tries to infect my thoughts.

I hate reality. I know not all of it is shit, but there's enough of it that makes me want to drown myself in the world of fiction. Whenever it's the weekend or breaks from school, I binge Anime, tv shows, YouTube, and movies, so that's the only thing on my mind. I then write or read fanfiction, there is the rare occasion I sketch something but I'm not good at art since I don't practice enough. By the time I return to reality after having my head stuck in my imagination for so long, I can barely focus without going back to daydreaming. Eventually, that wears off, and then reality is what floods my brain; I despise it but I know I can't be stuck in my fantasies forever. Luckily my friends provide that nice spot in-between for me, helping me stay in the real world but also let me discuss the fictional. Then there's also my bro.

"Yo sis," my brother's voice called from the other side of the door after his fist knocked on it. "You wanna continue Code Geass?"

My bro is the best. Unlike most siblings I know, we actually get along. He's also a big help in my life, one of the reasons why I haven't lost my mind. He makes sure I don't overwork & stress myself and reminds me to have fun and chillax. I love him for it, and he's practically my best friend. We aren't the exact same age but we were born in the same year, just a few months apart so we get to be in the same grade. He's the older one. He's also taller which means he can t-pose over me, and we reenact the meme; it's great.

"Yeah," I answered. "Just let me get ready."

"Alright," he replied before I felt the vibration of his footsteps grow distant from my room.

'Heh, if I had Takeyasu's ability, I'd be able to sense his movement better.'

I chuckle to myself at the thought floating in my mind as I put the final shirt away. My two favourite characters that I desired to be real was the Tatsumi Brothers, Nagayuki and Takeyasu. I love those two. Whenever I watched their episodes from Juuni Taisen, I always smile. They make my heart feel something that I never felt for any character before. I don't want to be cliche and say true love, but to me, that's what it feels like. I know they're fictional characters, so I won't get much out of it, but strangely enough, I'm okay with that. I can't imagine my heart belonging to anyone else. I do wish they were real, though. I even used my wish on the bracelet my friend, Meri-chan, got for my birthday one year, that they'd become real.

The bracelet was some urban legend. It was lime green and had a few beads on it. The legend goes that you make a wish and when the bracelet breaks, your wish has come true. 'Course, it's most likely a bunch of baloney but that didn't stop me from wishing that the Tatsumi Brothers would become real. I currently just wear the bracelet as an accessory since the wish probably won't happen, it's not like the thing is going to break anytime soon.

Grabbing my towel, my other hand opened my door. I slipped down the hallway and slid into the bathroom, my foot pushing the door closed as I put the towel on the towel rack. Hopefully, I don't take too long because we were left on edge on the last episode of Code Geass we watched. Well, I'll finish sooner than my wish coming true that's for sure, heh.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Okay bro but if you think about it, Lelouch-"

"[Name], I washed your school uniforms. Can you put them away while I start on tacos?" Mom requested from the kitchen, interrupting the Anime, my commentary, and reminding me that school is coming soon. "You too, [b/n]."

"Yes, mom," we both respond.

My brother picked up the remote and hit the pause button so we wouldn't miss anything. I pulled myself up from the plush couch, disappointment growing on me since I had hoped not to be interrupted until dinner was ready. Well, I guess I could let the disappointment wither away since it's Taco Tuesday, my favourite. I chuckled to myself as my feet reached the next level above the main floor and headed down the open hallway to my room.

My laughter died out upon seeing my seven school uniforms, five that were the regular female uniform and two that were gym uniforms. Unlike most students, I didn't like the idea of having to wash my uniform every day, so to make things simpler, I paid for six more with my own money. It was a bit irritating, using the money I earned from my summer job for this instead of getting something else. Still, my practical choice, so I didn't necessarily have to worry about my mom washing my uniform every night.

"Hhhhhh, why does school have to come back so soon?" I asked myself as I picked up one of the uniforms.

The uniform wasn't too special, a simple white blouse, a blue skirt, a blue jacket, and a blue & black striped tie. Students could decide if we wanted to wear tights, leggings, or shorts underneath the skirt as long as it was black or white. I wore leggings unless it was summer which I then wear shorts and knee-high socks. There are those girls that only wear thigh-high socks and panties under their skirt to which my nerd brain questions why. 'Course that's their choice, have fun with your ass cold.

A Discord ringtone made me resurface from my pond of inner thoughts. Becoming aware of my surroundings, I realized my friends Meri-chan and Kamida were calling on the Discord group chat we had. I could tell by the laptop I had open on my desk. I quickly put the uniform I had in hand on the rack with the others before sliding over and clicking the answer button that popped up.

"Yo, what's up nerds."

"Hey I'm not a nerd," Meri-chan protested. "I'm a cool kid."

"Meri-chan, we're all nerds here," Kamida stated before greeting me. "Hey [n/n], how you doing?"

"Eh, good I suppose but I could be doing better, Kami," I answered simply. "How's life?"

"Pretty chill but I got bored, so I decided to call you guys."

"Well, I'm just putting my uniforms away," I informed them and went to put the last uniform away.

"I sometimes forget that you have more than one," Meri-chan commented before I heard her gasp. "Hey, how 'bout we hang out tomorrow, we only have so many days before we have to go back to school."

"Oh, don't remind me," I groaned, hanging my head, then went back to putting the uniform on the hanger and walking over to the closet, hanging it up with the rest.

"That doesn't sound like a bad idea Meri-chan, we could hang out tomorrow," Kamida suggested.

"I'm down," Meri-chan quickly responded.

"Welllllll..." I hesitated, sitting down in the [f/c] spinning chair in front of the desk.

"[Name]."

"You see, I kinda want to stay inside my last few days..."

"[n/nnnnn]!" Meri-chan whined.

"Come on [Name], you know you can't stay cooped up inside forever," Kamida reminded me.

"I know," I grumbled, leaning back in my seat. "Fine, I'll come out tomorrow, but it's going to be after 2."

"2 am, geez [n/n] I didn't know you'd be willing to come out that early," Kamida joked.

"I meant 2 pm," I corrected.

"Okay," he chuckled as Meri-chan pipped in.

"But if you're late again, you're buying lunch this time."

"Okay, bet, but what if I'm not?" I inquired, my fingers tapping on my desk.

"Mmmmmmm," she hummed, seemingly to be thinking.

"It's fine I'll pay for lunch tomorrow."

"Alright, but don't use it as an excuse to be late."

"I won't," I reassured her. "Anyway, I'm gonna go watch a few more episodes of Code Geass with my bro-"

"You still need to watch Dragon Ball Z," Kamida interrupted.

"And you need to watch Juuni Taisen," I countered, emphasizing the "you".

"Yeah, yeah," he brushed it off. "Anyway, go have fun with your bro. We'll call again later on tonight."

"Alright, bye guys." I left the call and closed out of discord then proceeded to shut my laptop.

Kamida and Meri-chan were my two friends from school; we've known each other since childhood. 'Course Meri-chan isn't Meri-chan's real name, that's just a nickname Kamida and I gave her. Occasionally, they called me [n/n]-chan but not too often. Then there are times where we call Kamida, Kami-kun, but mainly Meri-chan does it out of spite since Kamida doesn't like it. Especially when Meri-chan does it in her kawaii voice. Those two are the only ones outside of family that have the same vibe I do, that's probably why we've been friends for so long.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey, you guys ever wish fictional characters could become real?" I randomly asked out of the blue, staring up at the white ceiling as I waited for my friends over the call to answer my question.

"All the time," Meri-chan answered.

"We know simp," Kamida smugly commented.

"Nuuu!" Meri-chan pouted while Kamida and I laughed. "Hey, if anything [n/n] is the simp over here, she's the one actual crushing on the characters."

"Hey don't call me out like that."

"Ha! She doesn't deny it," Kamida jeered.

"Okay, what about you and Android 21?"

"Ack-" Kamida blurted before muting himself, causing me and Meri-chan to giggle. A few seconds pass by before he unmuted himself. "Why are you asking this question [n/n]?"

"No reason in particular-"

"Are you sure it's not you wanting to talk about Juuni Taisen?"

"No- it's not just that. I just think fictional characters would make reality interesting."

"Right..."

"Meri-chan if you could bring someone from Juuni Taisen to-"

"My boy Uuma! You should know this by now."

"Bruh-"

"Well, it's either that or Usagi, and I rather be alive thank you."

"Who's Uuma again?" Kamida inquired, not knowing who was who quite yet since he hasn't watched the Anime.

"Uuma is the warrior of the horse," I informed him.

"Right," Kamida mumbled before letting out a yawn.

"You sound tired, go to sleep!" Meri-chan told Kamida.

"No, you go to sleep."

"Guys, we're all on the same timezone. If one of us goes to sleep then we all do," I stated. "It makes sense since we're all planning on meeting up tomorrow."

"I guess we go to sleep," Meri-chan said bluntly.

"Yeah, alright, goodnight guys," Kamida yawned.

"Night."

"Night guys."

With that, we each left the call. I, however, didn't fall asleep right away. I woke up late and the night was still pretty early, so I opened up the Funimation app on my phone. Scrolling through the list of saved Anime, most of which were halfway through since my brother and I are watching them together, I came across Juuni Taisen.

"Why not..." I muttered to myself as my finger tapped on the Anime and went right to click on episode 7, In Like a Dragon, Out Like a Snake (Part 1).

By the time I finished episodes 7 and 8, it was 2 am when my eyes glanced at the clock in the top corner of my phone. Sighing to myself, I leaned over and snatched my charger off the nightstand, plugging it in the wall before connecting the other end to my phone. Turning off my phone, I placed it on the nightstand and snagged my sleep mask, putting that on my head.

As I laid there on my bed, silence flooded the room, not a sound to be heard but my own breathing. Vines of sorrow began to grow on me as the feeling of loneliness came over me. I tried to pull myself out of the emotion, turning over and wrapping my arms around the plain bodypillow in an attempt to comfort myself. In the end, it only helped slightly. It didn't erase the pain because I knew there were no arms that would hug me back. A tear escaped my eyes before I pulled my mask over them, and a final thought appeared in my mind before I entered the dream realm.

'I wish I wasn't alone...'

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

"Congratulations, Tatsumi {Ani|Otouto}, warrior of the {dragon|snake}!" Duodecuple exclaimed. "You are the winner of the 12th Juuni Taisen, everyone give yourself a hand!" The man started to applaud but soon stopped. "The antidote has settled in by now. You'll be fine."

{"Tch|Alright"} the Tatsumi brother simply responded.

"Now that you've won the Juuni Taisen, you can make one wish of your choice. Would you like to make your wish now, or would you like for it to be granted later?"

"In all honesty, when I arrived at the Juuni Taisen I wished for {nothing|money}, I didn't need anything else really but now that {I'm here|I had time to think about} I don't want to wish for {nothing|money}."

"Oh, do you have another wish in mind?" Duodecuple inquired the Tatsumi brother sitting in front of him, alone.

"Yeah... I wish me and my brother were never apart of the Juuni Taisen."

#tatsumi brothers #tatsumi kyoudai #tatsumi kyoudai ani #tatsumi kyoudai otouto #nagayuki tsumita #takeyasu tsumita #takeyasu #nagayuki #tatsumi brothers x reader #juuni taisen #juuni taisen au #juni taisen #juni taisen x reader #juuni taisen x reader #juuni taisen: zodiac war #juuni taisen snake #juuni taisen dragon #juuni taisen zodiac war #spot the reference

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black-streak · 4 years

Text

Saturday night's alright for fighting (but Sundays are meant for rest) - Curious New Hobbies

Part 11!

My god this took a while to write! Special thanks to @st0rmy-w1th1n and @mysnis (hope this is your correct Tumblr) for bouncing ideas with me and @kceedraws for giving permission to use her breakdancing au as inspiration for this!

Tagsss: @persephonebutkore @emjrabbitwolf @mystery-5-5 @worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry @fandomkitty8 @dast218 @silvergold-swirl @shizukiryuu . @my-name-is-michell @kurogaya913 @elspethshadow @thecatnipmademedoit @shamefullove @ladylucina28 @crazylittlemunchkin @rayray384 @cassiejaydee @yuulxd @ladysblackcat @naclychilli @caffeinetheory

~---~

They had meant to go the arcade for their date tonight. In fact, they'd even walked in and started scoping out games to play, but alas it wasn't to be.

Within moments of arriving, who else but Damian would single Mari out and immediately tell them to leave.

And of course she protested. In response, Damian only pointed at Jon over at the pacman machine (how dare he, that's the game Marinette was searching for!) and mentioned his lack of ability to keep secrets and suddenly she turned and dragged Tim right back out the door.

Walking down the sidewalk, he side eyed her, considering the best way to start his interrogation.

"So. You trying to keep me secret then?"

"No! Of course not. Just might've forgotten to mention something like… over a month ago."

"And it involves not letting Jon know we were there?"

"Only because he's a nark who would've ruined the fun. And heaven knows Damian and I wouldn't be satisfied with a void bet."

"You made a bet about our relationship with Damian?"

"About your family," she partially corrected.

"Do I even want to know."

"Was supposed to tell you a bit ago so you wouldn't ruin the stakes, so probably not, but im telling you anyways."

Sighing with false exasperation, he gestured for her to continue.

"We have an ongoing bet over how long it'll take everyone to figure out that you and I are together and not Dami and me."

With that, she relayed all the details of their bet and his part in it, manic grin spread across her face as her gait gained a small skip to it. Tim couldn't help but shake his head at her antics, amused despite an itch in the back of his mind saying this wouldn't end well.

"Alright, I'll play along. Honestly, I think you'll both lose. Your predictions are too specific. Too many potential outlying factors."

"True, but we did give set time frames. So at least one part of the bet will absolutely be clear on who won. Plus, I find victory in the fact that Damian didn't think of that possibility. That we'd both be wrong."

"On another note, we need to find a plan b. Anything in mind?" He asked, reaching out and snagging her hand to draw her closer.

Shrugging, she looked about them, seeing if anything caught the eye. Suddenly Tim stopped, accidentally yanking her back when she kept walking. She let out a sound of protest only to see his eyes locked on the building across the way with a considering look.

The building was gray brick with no windows, however a neon purple sign to the right of the black wood door declared it "The Underground", a well known club amongst Gotham dancers and while neither were necessarily that, word had gotten around enough for both to have heard of the place before from word of mouth.

"How do you feel about checking it out?" Tim asked, a curious look about his eyes, studying her.

"I'm not opposed to the idea. Little surprised you're interested though," she commented, letting him lead the way inside.

A quick ID check and they were in, the room dark with neon tube lights flashing across different surfaces and strategic spotlights placed to bring attention to the various raised platforms. It was strange actually. The wall directly to the left of the hall they entered from held the bar on a raised level only to slide into a ground level dance floor which was normal enough, however in the opposite corner was a raised platform where different people would hop up to take advantage of the spacing to show off both freestyle and blatantly choreographed moves. Another few spotlight platforms raised up randomly in the floor, but the main focus was a rather large circular one in the center of the place, raised just enough to make it easy to see from anywhere in the place, but not so high as to block the view across the way. These places were the most lit up, allowing the anonymity to the dancers below while allotting the attention to those who choose to step up. Beyond that, there were many crevices and alcoves holding tables into the walls and a small hallway across the way presumably heading to the bathrooms. An upper balcony held only the DJ.

While Mari took in her surroundings, she felt Tim lead her out into the crowds, before turning back to her with a questioning look. Leaning in she spoke into his ear, a spark gleaning her eyes, "You've been before, haven't you?"

"A few times. It's the perfect place to destress without the nonsense of keeping an image. As long as you stay in the crowd, no one cares who you are," he replied, spinning her around before stepping in so her back pressed to his chest. His hands ghosted down her sides to grasp her hips, starting to guide her into the beat.

For a while, they stayed like that, separating slightly and coming back together to follow different dances as the music flowed and changed around them. Turns out Tim was a surprisingly good dancer.

Cheers broke out as a new song turned over, the first beats of Bum Bum Tam Tam coming over the speakers drawing attention towards the main platform as a pair jumped up, starting to get into the beat, working around each other only to burst into perfectly synced choreography at the first breakdown, resulting in more cheers. The two dancers would break away after that into a more freestyle, only to flow back into more rehearsed moves once more.

"Wait is that," she trailed off to a groan pressed to her shoulder.

"Yeah. That's them. Didn't know they came here."

As the song came to an end and the two on the platform jumped down, they could only stare as none other than Dick and Kori unknowingly made their way towards them. Tim pulled back from Mari subconsciously, not quite comfortable being so fully on display in front of people who actually knew them. Which made exactly zero sense when considering how much they cuddled in the manor.

Finally the two spotted them, their grins widening and a new energy emerging as they rushed over.

"Timothy! Starshine! You guys are here!" Came Kori's exuberant greeting, grabbing them both up in a hug.

"Hey, Mar, Damian not like dancing enough? Had to drag Timmy out?" Dick teased.

"Dami's at the arcade with Jon. And actually, coming here was Tim's idea," she answered amicably, conforming to the rules of the bet and not correcting Dick's obvious assumptions. "That was amazing by the way. You two looked great up there!"

Tim smirked down at her, seeing through her antics, especially now that she'd let him in on the rules of her game. Doesn't mean he couldn't play into it himself, he thought as he wrapped an arm around her waist and placed his chin atop her head.

"She's a great dance partner," Tim mentioned after both Kori and Dick had thanked and waved off Mari's compliments. "Considering learning something more structured with her, myself. Maybe give you two a run for your money."

"You definitely should! I can help with figuring out a style for you two if you'd like!" Kori offered immediately as Marinette turned to look at him in excitement.

"She has to agree first. Who knows, maybe this was a fluke and Mari will never dance with me again," he sighed in defeat.

Marinette turned, practically bouncing in anticipation, "Are you kidding? I'd love to! I want to come here again too."

"Even if you don't take my help with the dancing, I can record you two so you can look back and see for any needed improvements? That's what Richard and I do," Kori further offered up, Dick jumping back in right after.

"Oh yeah, it helps immensely. Especially if you were wanting to perform it on the platforms here."

Tim and Mari met eyes, before coming to an agreement, "Yeah, we'd appreciate that actually."

"Great! We'll set up some time here soon. In the meantime, I could definitely use a drink," Dick stated, looking back towards where he'd originally been headed. Kori grabbed onto Marinette instead, leading her back into the fray of dancers.

"We should invite Stephanie next. She would make a most interesting dance partner," Kori rattled on, suggesting a girls night that Mari agreed to immediately before getting back into the music with her new dance partner of the moment, Tim and Dick rejoining them shortly after.

The night continued on this way, the four trading off between them, two not aware that it'd become a double date by this point. Eventually parting ways from the two, Tim and Mari made their way back towards his apartment, breathless and happy despite the unexpected interruptions to their night.

"How come we never end up at your place?" He asked suddenly.

"Because my apartment has become workzone number 2. Seriously, the place has essentially become a studio for my work that just so happens to have a kitchen and bedroom. Among other secrets not meant to be divulged… yet."

"Is that pertaining to the mystery of your magic."

"Perhaps."

"Mmm, whenever you're ready, I'll be happy to keep them for you. Though I can't imagine anything bigger than holding two technical gods in your pockets at all times."

"Shhh, don't let them hear you say that!"

He only chuckled, leading her into the complex and up to his penthouse. Silence overtaking them until the door had clicked shut.

"You staying the night, sweetheart?" Tim asked, toeing off his shoes and walking towards his room to get changed.

"Mm, think I might," she replied, following him in and stealing a shirt before wandering into the bathroom to get first dibs on a shower. She still found it lucky that while he might be the shortest of his brothers, she was still small enough to be buried in his clothes. Made it easier for night like these.

Finishing up, she plopped herself on his bad as he went to shower as well.

Eventually, the door reopened, Tim entering in only pajama bottoms, hair still damp and in his face. She hummed her appreciation, enjoying the view and reaching out to tug him closer.

"Is it weird how comfortable we've become in so little time?"

"Only if you're uncomfortable with it."

"I'm not."

"Good."

With the affirmation, he picked her up only to lay her out further up the bed. Stretching out at her side, he pressed kisses to her cheek and down her neck, hand trailing against exposed skin, clearly enjoying having her in his home, in his bed, in his shirt.

'Hmm, what were two raging insomniacs to do with the rest of their night?'

…

Bonus:

Not a week later, after a long discussion with Damian to ensure that Kori was not included in the bet and swearing the alien to secrecy, they asked her to film something for them. A dance they had come with that was just for them. Not anything that could be performed in a club or for anyone to see. Maybe one day they'd post it somewhere or show Dick, but for now, it was theirs alone.

youtube

#timari #timinette #maribat #first one with video link #probably only one #lookbup bum bum tam tam on Matt steffinina youtube for Dick and Koris dance

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bl4cklabyrinth · 4 years

Text

Live Report: MY FIRST STORY TOUR 2019 Semi-Final at Kobe World Memorial Hall

Disclaimer: Take note that all of these reports were translated by ear, so there is no assurance of accuracy. Because of this, please do not retranslate my work. I am no Japanese or English native.

I am only reposting the relevant MCs from my Twitter thread for archive purposes. Please check my tweets to read more about my thoughts on the show.

Photo by Takashi Konuma | Taken from MFS’ official Twitter

Setlist

不可逆リプレイス

Black Rail

ブラック・スワン

花-0714-(Re:arrange)

monologue

虚言NEUROSE

KING & ASHLEY

mine

君のいない夜を越えて

終焉レクイエム (Acoustic ver.)

Love Letter (Acoustic ver.)

LET IT DIE (Acoustic ver.)

Band session

無告

Missing You

Weight of my pride (Pay money To my Pain cover)

MONSTER

絶体絶命

ACCIDENT

モノクロエフェクター

REVIVER

With You

Encore

THE OVER (UVERworld cover)

LET IT DIE

ALONE

Story about Weight Loss

Hiro: Anyway, this has no relation (to the acoustic session) whatsoever, but didn’t I get super thin?

Kid’z: You did! Tell us more! You really did lose weight! Nob too!

Hiro: We declared during Hall Tour that we’d lose weight within one month, but we couldn’t do it. We made a promise though, didn’t we? I did my very best, you know?? I seriously gave it all I got!!

Kid’z: I’ve been avoiding carbs for a long time, and even tried diligently apportioning my meals and stuff like that. But before I knew it, I was already eating curry!

Crowd: *laughs*

Fan: How much weight did you lose?

Hiro: I dropped 6 kg.

Crowd: Ohhh! *claps*

Kid’z: That’s a lot!

Hiro: Amazing, right? On the contrary, I’ve always been fat.

Kid’z: No, seriously.

Hiro: I lost weight so that I can get fat again. I want to get fat so I lose weight. When I’ve lost weight, I’ll gain weight again. It’s a never ending cycle.

Kid’z: Don’t leave it as it is!

Hiro: I get told that all the time. I mean, I’m gonna gain weight before METROCK again anyway.

Kid’z: Isn’t METROCK great though?

Hiro: Can I say this? Why do they hold festivals at such a season?

Kid’z: Because (the weather) is cool? I once thought Doraemon was the one singing.

Hiro: Who you calling 123 cm tall?

Kid’z: Nobita-kun.

Hiro: I’m not the blue geezer.

Kid’z: He isn’t a geezer!

Hiro: He’s a geezer, isn’t he?

Crowd: *laughs*

Hiro: Generally, we release a CD around spring or summer. Then we start tour around autumn, right? From the beginning of fall, Hiroki starts losing weight. Little by little. Then, year end starts rolling in. By the end of the year, tour ends, it becomes production season, and eating Hiroki comes out. Hiroki enters hibernation, just like any other large mammal.

Kid’z: You need to stock up, right?

Hiro: Yep, so I can get through winter. Then it becomes spring again. METROCK is waiting for me, but I don’t want stocked-weight-from-hibernation-at-its-max Hiroki to be exposed there! Why do I keep getting told I got fatter or thinner every time?! Leave me alone!!!

Kid’z: But you did your best, right?

Hiro: ...Yep.

Kid’z: Good job.

Crowd: *claps*

Kid’z: How about Nob? How are you doing?

Nob: I lost 5 kg.

Hiro: You lost weight only because you were sick, right?

Kid’z: Because his tonsils were taken out.

Nob: I haven’t gotten my sense of taste back up until now.

Hiro: Don’t let yourself lose one of your most important senses!

Nob: Some time ago I had pickles and it was the best.

Hiro: What an old man.

Story about Poor Kid’z (figuratively and literally)

Kid’z: This story has no relation to anything we’ve talked about so far, but you (Hiro) started an IG account, right? During Hall Tour. Since then, you did a lot of things to me, like that game with the paper cups and the 10,000 yen you put inside one of them, which I played along with having good intentions in mind. I chose the right cup and you gave me the bill, but you revealed that there was 100,000 yen in the other cups.

Hiro: Yep.

Kid’z: ...I tried that with a friend. I was caught. 100,000 yen.

Hiro: Eh?? They made a winning move, huh.

Kid’z: I was like, “Oh no, what should I do?? Should I take it back?” I wanted to be able to fool someone, to get a taste of how it feels! So I started turning the cups around thinking I could do it like you did. When it was time for them to pick, my friend chose a different cup, and in my head I was all, “No no no, not that!!!” and eventually they got it...

Hiro: That person probably saw my IG post and thought you were an idiot.

Thoughts on Marriage

After Love Letter, Hiro and Kid'z talked about being excited yet nervous to play the next song, since it's been a while since they last played it.

Kid’z: Speaking of which, the person beside me seems to be nervous!!

Nob: *rubbing his palms on his pants*

Kid’z: Can I do a hand check? *touches Nob's palm* It's all sticky!

Hiro: Eh? You're scared of making a miss again? Like in Yokoari? Higedan. Ah! Speaking of which, Satoshi-kun got married! Congratulations!

H&K: *congratulate Nob*

Hiro: Eh? Official?

Kid’z: This is Unofficial.

Hiro: Ah, sorry. Unofficial. He got married, huh... There's been a crazy marriage rush recently...

Kid’z: Yeah, it's been all over LINE NEWS lately.

Hiro: Right. back number, Higedan, Maple Chogokin.

Kid’z: You're mean for putting Maple Chogokin as last!

Hiro: No no no. *laughs* The marriage rush is insane, right... Right... Insane right...

Fan: Do you want to get married?

Hiro: ...I don't wanna get married.

Crowd: Eh???

Hiro: Do you? Someday, I assume. As for me, I don't wanna get married at all.

Kid’z: *in a teasing tone* Is it because you don't have a partner?

Hiro: *taunting tone* Ha? Ha? Ha? What the hell are you saying, you.

Kid’z: Ah, sorry we had a little quarrel.

Hiro: Let's get a divorce first!

Kid’z: What the hell is this breakup!

Poor Nob

Photo by Takashi Konuma | Taken from Hiro’s IG post

Hiro: Anyway, are we good? You (Nob) still seem nervous. How are his fingers?

Kid’z: They're tender.

Hiro: If I had to play it in a room like this, I'd be pissed.

Nob: *strums a tune*

Kid’z: It's that song!! It's definitely that song, right? Can you do it, Nob bear? Are you alright? You practiced last night without sleeping.

Kid’z: Give him your support.

Crowd: Cute!! You can do it!!!

Kid’z: The pressure on you is rising, huh.

Hiro: *in an old man voice* You can do it! You can do it! You can do it!

Kid’z: Eh? What was that voice? Father?

Hiro: *taunting tone* Ha? What the hell are you saying. Who you calling father, come home and I'll kill you.

Kid’z: Ah, sorry. Father, I apologize.

Hiro: to Nob You okay? Dududadududa~ (T/N: the intro of LET IT DIE) The last song for the acoustic session. Please listen, LET IT DIE.

Then, Hiro crouched down from his seat and kneeled, looked at Nob closely, and so did Kid’z. Nob stared back, aced the dududadududa intro and everybody clapped for him! However, Nob made a mistake towards the very end, playing the last string of notes twice. When they were walking back to the main stage, Hiro put his arm around Nob and teased in a mocking tone, "Hey, in LET IT DIE, in LET IT DIE, hey, during the acoustic set, hey, I was satisfied with the beginning, but in the middle of the song, hey, you made a mistake, right? Even if you were doing so well." When they got back to the main stage, Nob bowed down in apology.

Weight of my pride MC

Hiro: Your voice has been heard! There were a lot of requests for PTP, and in my heart, PTP is my eternal hero. It shouldn't be just us; so that he can also hear your voices, shout as loud as you can Kobe!!! Next song is called Weight of my pride!

Check out their version of the performance at Saitama Super Arena here:

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youtube

モノクロエフェクター MC

Hiro: How are we doing Kobe? I thought everyone in Kobe could handle it, you know? Aren't y'all drinking too much milk tea? Your nipples are gonna become tapioca if you drink too much milk tea, you know? Well, if you're sure you're not drinking too much then you should be able to handle it, so let's all dance together!!

Reviver MC

Hiro: Thank you so much for today! It's been a great day, I'm really grateful. I've always been alone. I've lost so many people I didn't want to lose, and I've let go of things I didn't want to part with many times. I might not be able to change the world with music, but because of music, I met the members, I met all of you, and it made me think that my life was pretty impressive. I want to believe it was my destiny to meet all of you here tonight, so let's keep walking together Kobe!!!

With You MC

Hiro: Thank you so much for today, Kobe!!! After this, the tour will be ending soon. Thinking about it makes me sad, but knowing that you will all be supporting us next year, and the year after that, and the year after that, and even after 10 years makes me feel very grateful. But there's one thing I want to say before today ends: Kobe, I love you!!!

THE OVER MC

Hiro: How was it? MFS' UVERworld. Did I become Hiroki∞? This song was really difficult. The way the lyrics jump, especially during the part before the last chorus.

Kid’z: I didn't learn that note.

Hiro: *emphasizes the difficult enunciation of a line from the song* Unbelievable, I had a hard time remembering it.

Kid’z: The instruments were tough, too. Even Nob was complaining, there were notes he had never seen before.

Hiro: I couldn't match the timing of the lyrics either. I had to enter at an exact time, 3 characters in one second!! If MFS were to do it, we'd go with a lower key.

Kid’z: You say MFS but it's your key, right? Your voice is hella loud you know.

Hiro: It's because if I'm alone, then it's not MFS.

Kid’z: Nah, we were able to match the key, but only you can sing it that high, right? (T/N: They seemed to have raised the key by 2 octaves)

Hiro: You guys thought the cover song was only Weight of my pride, didn't you? You're wrong! We did UVERworld but we received many other requests. There were a lot of PTP songs in the tags. Who else was it... Sheena Ringo, Oral, and King Gnu too.

Kid’z: Weirdly enough, B'z was highly requested too.

Hiro: It'd be weird if I sang their songs.

Crowd: Sing! Sing! Sing!

Hiro: 萎えぇぇ！萎えぇぇ！萎えぇぇぇぇー (T/N: Nae is Japanese slang that roughly translates to “no” or “ugh” in this context) Wait a minute. Change the song.

Kid’z: *offended tone* Huh?

Hiro: Well then, sing a line that starts with A!

Hiro: You're an Ultra Soul Idiot. Do you know any other song apart from Ultra Soul?

Kid’z: Of course I do! Don't you? All of you? I love them more than anyone else, I'm even in the fanclub! こいよ！！

Kid’z: *sings a B'z line that starts with A*

Hiro: Gi!

Kid’z: Gi? *sings a line that starts with Gi* I told you, I can do anything.

Teru: Yu!

Kid’z: Yu? YUME JANAI ARE MO KORE MO SONO TE DE DOA MO AKEMASHOU, SHUKUFUKU GA HOSHII NARA KANASHIMI O SHIRI HITORI DE NAKIMASHOU, SOSHITE KAGAYAKU ULTRA SOUL!

Crowd: HEY!!!

Hiro: Oi, Teruki!! Why did you say "yu"?! You should've let him build up first before making him sing "yu"!! It was too early to make him sing that as the third song!

Kid’z: It felt really good!!

Hiro: Why did you say "yu" so quickly?!

Teru: I just made a mistake.

Hiro: Don't be an airhead!!

Kid’z: I'm really grateful!

Nob’s Redemption Arc

After their UVERworld cover, Hiro asked the audience what they should do next. The crowd started screaming different songs, to which Hiro said "I'm seriously fine with anything." Nob suddenly played the first three notes of LET IT DIE, to which Hiro said, "Ah, from earlier?" Kid'z said, "He made a mistake a while ago, so let's give him another chance." Then Nob started practicing. The crowd screamed, "You can do it!!!" then Nob walked towards the center stage and did a moonwalk. Hiro was all, "You can't do it, you're not Michael Jackson!" then sang a MJ line and howled his signature "Woo!"

Final MC

Hiro: Today was truly an amazing day, thank you all so much. We had such an intense gathering here at Kobe World Memorial Hall. The first Coming Kobe was also held here. We have so, so, so many memories here in this place. Right now, we're still on our way to reaching our dream. From hereon, we don't know if we could make such a big dream come true. We still have a long way there, but we're doing our best every year, making music for everyone and visiting various places as well. Next year, and the year after that, and even after 10 years, it would be nice if we could all make amazing memories together. Thank you so much! We're definitely coming back, Kobe!!

Photo by Takashi Konuma | Taken from Hiro’s IG post

#my first story #マイファス #live #2019 #still sad we didn't get a DVD of the Kobe show #liked it better than Saitama #we could've gotten the MCs and the encore at the very least #sighs #ah well

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brvdges · 5 years

Text

girlfriend | peter parker

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: Y/N's been working up the nerve to tell Peter how she feels so Pietro decides to give her a push — until she sees Peter with Liz Allen.

Warnings: none

A/N: This has been sitting in my drafts for some time, thought I'd post it.

Word Count: 1176

___

Normally on a Saturday, you'd be training with Peter, but tight ass Steve (as you guys called him when it came to training) would be away on a mission. So you thought this would be the perfect day for you two to finally go on a date. However you'd need to build up the guts to ask him first -- you'd been trying all week and had been chickening out each time in fear of failing miserably.

Today was your last chance because tomorrow was Saturday, but you'd been procrastinating all day. So far, it had been a day of applying for summer jobs and eating leftover take out -- staying as far away from Peter as possible. You had managed to schedule a phone interview for the job that you had your heart set on the most within the next hour. Given your unproductive manner towards your goal, it seemed that your friends thought it'd be best to meddle and it wasn't long before Pietro appeared in your room with the intention of annoying you.

Pietro thought it would be funny to take your phone and hide it around the base before your call. With his speed, there was no saying where your phone would eventually end up as you were no match for him. It wasn't even a second after he flashed you that mischievous grin that he took off in search of the perfect place to put your phone.

Because of how much he had on you in the speed department, he could've easily dropped your phone off somewhere and be done with it. Instead he decided to tease you, he'd slow down long enough for you to catch up and when you finally did, he'd zip off again. "Gotta be faster, broască ţestoasă!" he shouted running in the direction of the lounge.

You sighed defeated before moping past your room where you had originally started and down the steps towards the lounge. The closer you got, the more audibly laughing could be heard and it wasn't until you turned the corner that you could see Peter and a girl sitting on the couch together, looking pretty comfy. They were sitting fairly close and Peter whispered something to her that emitted a laugh from her lips. She smiled before saying something back that you didn't quite catch. Your heart sunk as you watched his eyes lit up and him nodding excitedly.

You weren't sure if you wanted to let them have their moment or ruin it. Jealousy sure was ugly, but you couldn't help yourself. You'd had a crush on Peter for the last two years now, ever since you guys met after brief dissolving of the Avengers due to the Sokovia Accords. He was sweet as ever and it didn't take long for you to get a huge crush on him. You were fairly sure he had felt the same, but neither of you had the guts to make the first move. Wanda and Natasha had been encouraging you for months to ask him out

She noticed you first and then Peter. "Y/N! Hey!" he chuckled, "Um, this is uh -- this is Liz." She smiled waving at you politely, you awkwardly waved back. "Uh, hey." Who was she? She had to just be a friend from school, right? She couldn't have been his girlfriend. Peter would've told you if he liked -- not to mention was dating, someone. It couldn't have been that serious if he never mentioned her, right?

You backed out of the room quickly, hurrying back the way you came. Tears were brimming in your eyes as you pushed open the door to your room. Pietro was lazily sprawled across your bed, holding your phone in one hand and the remote to your TV in the other as he flipped through channel after channel. He smirked at you mischievously before he noticed the tears in your eyes and his face suddenly fell.

"Whoa, Y/N, what's wrong?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. The tears began to roll down your face, but you just sniffled and replied, "Nothing, I'm fine." "Y/N, something's wrong. What is it?" You wiped your tears, "P-Peter's got a girlfriend." In a second he was holding you as you cried onto his shirt, "I saw them in the lounge." Before he could get a word out, your phone rang.

"Now if you'll excuse me I have to go take this call." He handed your phone to you before rushing out of your room, shutting the door behind him. You sniffled, plopping down your bed before quickly wiping away your tears and hitting answer on the call.

It was later that night when you finally pulled yourself together enough to come out of your room. You ended up ordering yourself more takeout and had Happy buzz it in, you still had to walk out of your room to get it though. You slowly walked into the kitchen, spotting the big brown bag of food on the counter and then examining its contents. Getting a cup down from the cabinet, you got yourself some water and began to attempt to carry your water, takeout, and phone all at the same time.

"Do you want some help?"

Peter stood cautiously in the doorway, watching your small struggle. "No, I'm fine." you muttered, fixing the bag in your arms. He walked closer, taking the bag from you, "Here, Y/N. I've got it. Can we talk?" You sighed reluctantly before leading the way to your room. He followed behind you quietly and once you were inside, placed the heavy bag of food on your bed. You sat down beside it and opened it up, absolutely eager to get your hands on your food. He stood awkwardly and quietly at the edge of your bed.

"Y/N, I wanted to talk to you about um, earlier." he started, you nodded slowly as you pushed around your lo mein noodles. "That wasn't what you think it was." You squinted at him, "How do you know what I think it was?" You scooped some lo mein into your mouth and chewed waiting for him to continue, "Um, Wanda told me -- Pietro told her." You bit your lip nervously at the memory of you crying into Pietro's shoulder.

"Liz isn't my girlfriend. She's an old friend from school -- she moved a few years ago and was in the state so she came to visit." he clarified as you processed his words. You officially felt like a fool, you immediately had jumped to conclusions about Peter and Liz without any confirmation. "I don't like her, I like you."

You looked up at him, he finally said it. "You like me?" he nodded, sitting down next to you on the bed. "I like you too." He breathed a sigh of relief, "I'm glad that we're on the same page because I've been trying to build up the guts," he smiled, "...to ask you if you wanted to go out with me tomorrow night."

"I'd love to."

#avengers imagine #avengers au #avengers x reader #avengers imagines #marvel au #avengers preferences #peter parker au #peter parker imagine #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #peter parker imagines #peter parker x reader #peter parker fanfiction

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samtheflamingomain · 2 years

Text

the kids are way more alright than us

I've been surprisingly calm for the entire pandemic. Had a few cries here and there, but never really struggled mentally for long. I mainly attribute this to an already-zero hope for humanity, and getting free time off work.

I never gave much thought as to what would make me break - I knew it'd eventually be something, though, when we weren't done in a month as originally promised.

Cases up, ICUs drained... it didn't directly effect me. Hell, I currently have covid, but vaxxed and doing fine.

But... society ain't. I can get over a glorified cold in 4 days - never been one to be sick long. But global supply chains breaking, literally too many sick people to run necessary jobs, and now, the worst ICUs we've ever seen... that shit scares me.

I never realized, but I unconsciously made a rule in my head when this started: until the day I read that the entire system is falling apart across the globe, I won't panic.

I'm panicking.

It's one thing when one country struggles more than others. It's quite another when every country is struggling worse than any has in recorded history, and all in the exact same way.

I don't think it'll ruin society long-term. I'd even argue that things will largely be back to normal in a few years. But till then, it's going to be worse than someone my age or younger is capable of imagining.

My sister, 9y my senior, was always a good social barometer. She reacted to events in a way that made sense, but was also very distinct from the Adults. She was a full ass adult when the 2008 recession happened. She was 15 on 9/11. She could probably even grasp the difference between a Clinton and HW Bush presidency.

My first full memory is 9/11. I was 11 during the recession. I didn't know Bush Jr. was a Jr. till high school.

For my entire life, the Worst Thing to Ever Happen - my first fully-formed memory - was 9/11. But it had never happened before and never would again. Being 6 on 9/11 was wildly different from being 8, 10, 12. At 6, you believe every word you're told. At 12, I could see myself wondering endlessly about the impacts this would have on society. I wouldn't get another such thought exercise until I realized at 20 that Trump was likely to win. I was the nutjob of the family until it happened, then everyone wanted to know what secret info I had. None. I looked at the polls, the reality and the times. Save Bernie, I don't think anyone could've beaten him in 2016. "Grab em by the pussy" gave me a moment of doubt, but I knew. I knew it wouldn't matter and that the Karen demographic was going to show up and hard.

My sister remembers the Before Times, basically life pre-9/11. My first memory is 2000 at best. I don't remember a Better time. I remember the day the earth crumbled, and nothing ever getting better since.

The term "American Dream" is a concept to me. Believe it or not, Canada is very much the 51st state culturally, and we all use the term the same as Americans do. Without even changing the name, because we Know. We know we're basically America. But I don't think I've ever heard it used in earnest by someone my age. I do remember my parents saying that it does extend to us, because I'd asked if I could write the "Great American Novel" as a Canadian.

Point being, people my age give or take a few years, we have only ever seen a decrease in everything for our entire lives. I'm lucky to hold one brief memory of what McDonald's tasted like in the 90s. I'm unlucky that it was only once, and since then no McDonald's has tasted anywhere as good. My parents hold the same nostalgia for Old Tim Hortons. Sister can remember, but not me.

Zoomers have absolutely no faint memories of a better world, and while I think that's very sad, I also think it will be what moves them. Us late millennials were just a bit too young to have ideas of politics when they were needed. Zoomers have never known a non-politicized world. I remember telling a high school coworker that, back in my day, we all agreed that the world was round, as a very obvious joke. He fired back with his. Shit. Down. I'm talking some serious nuance I don't see in almost anyone my age or older. He quickly but effectively laid out the argument that flat-earthers, compared to other conspiracies, are wrong, but completely benign and not even worth thinking about. And he was right.

And he had a completely exhaustive argument. I used to firmly think that they're all insane and bring down humanity's many discoveries. I never thought they'd influence policy or make up any sizeable demographic, and thus kind of... never got Mad about it like he did. He hated the idea of such a rejection of science, but ultimately came out on their side and being right.

I'm scared, running low on hope, but now more than ever the Zoomers are proving themselves to not only understand the assignment but undertake it completely and without question.

I asked this kid once, "why do you think of politics so much? When I was 16 I barely cared". He instantly replied that all his friends talked about climate change as a kid. I had to know, and he said around age nine. It was a snowball from there.

He was nine in 2012. I'd just graduated. He had a fully-formed and extremely well-educated view of society when I barely knew what I wanted as a career and thought that was all that mattered.

He's not even particularly smart or well-read. He's the average Zoomer. That means 50% of Zoomers are even smarter than he is. If that's the case, I'm a bit less worried.

They see thru so much shit it's incredible. I won't pretend I wasn't on the verge of tears of pride when Obama won. The least-intelligent Zoomer will laugh at that and ask if I actually believed in him or just liked that he was Black. And If I'm being honest, it's the latter. And they just... know. They know how to read thru bullshit that even I couldn't permeate.

Malala and Greta, for a long time, I thought were outliers. No. They're older gen Z, and the bulk of gen Z is aging up and Reporting For Duty.

Stay Greater.

#politics #covid #society #sociology

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airlea-sicarius · 6 years

Text

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

First off I'll be getting the negative things out if the way. So, as you guys have probably noticed, I've been inactive since about the 10th December. It was around this time where my love for ffxv lost what little magic it had left within my heart. Although I've had no quarms with this fandom, all I really needed was a tiny argument and then my paranoia kicked off. I just shut myself off.

As horrid as it sounds, I'm kinda glad I did that. Why? Because it's no surprise to you guys that everything eventually felt like a chore that I was tying myself down with. I didn't want to write, but I did anyway - I believed that writing IUDV helped me vent (I always use it as a conduit, and only good chapters come out when I'm pissed off), that always writing would take my mind off things. But I failed to realise that half of my exhaustion and lack of motivation and inspiration, came from not enjoying the fandom all that much.

A lot of things happened to this place since I joined in March - and one of the main reasons I'm saying farewell to this fandom is because I donvt know anyone anymore. Who I befriended in March and May now seem like complete and utter strangers, engulfed in love for popularity, in fighting against those when there was nothing to fight about. Small blogs lay forgotten or they grew so quickly they forgot their roots.

This fandom itself was making me exhausted.

So I stopped, and moved to other things where I felt happy. And I havemvt felt happier in a while. Perhaps it is because of losing friends, who are now strangers to me, that I have felt more alone this year. Or perhaps it is because it'd be the 6th Christmas I have without my dog and my dad. Perhaps it is because every Christmas I don't know whether to smile or cry; Christmas is always going to be empty for me, never a whole family. Just a dysfunctional day where extended family come round for an hour and go again, because my introverted, social anxiety stricken ass doesn't understand the prospect of talking when family come over, making me suffer with a lump in my throat and a constriction that wishes for them to leave...

A day where my nan comes over and I have to think 'is she going to be okay going up the stairs?'. Where I constantly worry when she needs to use the bathroom, where I wonder if her hip is ever going to heal again...

A day where I open my gifts and wish that my dad could be there, where he could open his own, where my dog could rip into her own once more...

A day where I want to ask my brother how he feels, if he feels depressed and worry just as much as I, but he'd only wave it aside and refuse to talk about it...

A day where I am always feeling depressed.

I don't want you guys to feel that way. I want you guys to have a happy day, a day where you have fun unwrapping your gifts, having family round and enjoying dimmer with them. I know sometimes they're annoying, but don't take it for granted. One day they won't be there, and you won't know what you've lost until it's too lost.

I want you guys to smile. To enjoy life today. I want you to truly be yourselves on Christmas day. To text or call your friends to wish them a Merry Christmas.

I donvt want you to be depressed like me. I want you to feel free.

Despite semi-saying goodbye, in my past update post I said I'd be finishing IUDV off. And then that might be it for a few months. A break, if you will, is badly needed.

I wanted this to be happier, but it obviously didn't turn out that way.

so marry Christmas!

To friends I will forever hold dear @jojopitcher @1000wolflover @amicitonia

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beepbeepmfkr · 4 years

Text

It's so insane to think about how quickly things change.

I took these hours before my life got rearranged by a bomb of metal and glass. And the thought of the last sight of you I'd have was forced over the center console of your mom's car, unmoving was only the first to change how I'd see my life from then on.

You found me slumped out of the passenger seat. Head pressed to the wet asphalt and blood in my mouth, not knowing that I'd just spent the past minute or so focused on three things: my breathing, getting out of the car to make my eventual shift to the ambulance easier for the paramedics, and getting away from all the noise and clamor that had convinced me for even a moment that my life with you would never be the same.

They carted me away and I still remember wondering where you'd be going. I didnt find out until I was in the trauma center that you were even anywhere nearby, asking for me but unable to get close.

They had me on a table awaiting surgery and I dont remember much else from those couple hours. Just having my clothes sliced off - complaining that it was a brand new shirt in the process - wiped down to get clean and covered with a sheet while the man next to me fought for his life surrounded by beeping monitors and frantic medical staff. I'd look over and see the bloody rags that had managed to fall from his table and wonder how he'd survived being hit by a truck while crossing a crosswalk in a wheelchair... (it might've been a scooter. I have no idea.)

When I woke up after surgery with a line of staples in my stomach I was told nothing and instead wheeled to the room I'd be stuck in for the next week.

You were there.

And I finally let myself cry.

I finally let myself break and feel the pain and the fear and let it get wrapped up in your arms as you finally let it sink in that I was O.K.

And you stayed there.

In that room with me.

One handed, aching with your own injuries and needing surgery that you're still fucking waiting for: you took care of me.

Changed my fucking bedpan and calmed every attack of panic and anger that flared forth you breathed a new life into me that I could never explain nor repay.

And you're still here. When you should be with your family and worrying about your own injuries. When you have a perfectly good support system for yourself you're here. Counting down the three months I'll be in this fucking back brace with me. Moving my leg while its wrapped up in this splint. Rolling me around in the fucking wheelchair like holy hell dude who even are you?

Who told you that you could walk into my life and convince me that love was real?

I've named you.

Finally.

It took so long and some part of me thought I wouldnt need to do this to you but it came in that bed while you held me and told me that it was okay to Hope.

Lantern of the rarest hue.

Shining with the color you usually dislike you are my Beacon of Hope.

Bright blue and everlasting. I know it's stupid. Its cheesy. Its mushy and dorky and nothing like the poetic titles I'd given the ones before but this one fits you. It fits us. It fits me.

Fits the real me and it fits the person that I want to be. I'm soft only for you. I show my weakness only to you. Lies spring readily from my tongue to everyone Except for you I could never hide the truth.

I dont know what the hell I'd do without you.

And it terrifies me that I feel so weak when I'm not around you.

I've never reached blindly for the hand of someone else for comfort never let myself show who or what it was I needed because I never allowed myself to realize that fact to begin with but I'll open myself to you.

I knew I loved you before but I'm learning every day now just how much. I'm learning how to love. I'm leaning how to be a human and it's as if I've been reborn very literally.

I'm learning to walk again and this time I get to learn how to breathe.

And to hear my father's voice...

To have that relationship with him being driven to a place of healing and to hear him say that he likes you. To have the man who approves of nothing approve of you. To have him dictate over and over that you needed to take care of his kid to have him entrust me to you-

Nobody has ever gotten that.

My mother loves you.

My father approves and wants to know more.

If you left now it'd kill me more painfully than the wreck ever could have.

I'm so glad I gave you the chance to make me happier than I ever thought I could deserve.

#navaz #lantern #tl;dr

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96thdayofrage · 4 years

Text

Close your eyes, and it could be the president of the United States talking.

Sipping tea with Mark Okoth Obama Ndesandjo in a Ming-dynasty temple is a surreal experience. Fleetingly, it conjures up images of what it'd be like to meet his half-brother - Barack Obama - for this African-American émigré to China bears a striking resemblance to his Nobel Peace Prize-winning sibling. And despite having grown up on opposite sides of the world - Barack with his mother in Hawaii and Mark with their Kenyan father in Nairobi - the half-brothers share mannerisms, including a politician's gift for putting people at ease.

We had arranged to meet in Shenzhen's Baoan district. Ndesandjo's assistant, George, escorted me through a leafy park on a golf buggy to a secluded building. The imposing, tall wooden doors opened from the inside and we were guided through a series of private, tranquil courtyards until we reached the Yuan Baoyuan teahouse, where Ndesandjo emerged from the main hall.

In the flesh, he is a force. Dressed head to toe in black, with an Indonesian bandana around his forehead, Ndesandjo is tall and personable, and speaks with a warm American accent. He's much more likeable than his self-deprecating new autobiography, Cultures: My Odyssey of Self-discovery, suggests.

THE LIVES OF MARK and Barack couldn't have unfolded more differently. While Barack's childhood was a happy Honolulu existence, Mark spent his formative years in a newly independent Kenya, living under the reign of terror of an alcoholic and abusive father, until his white, American mother finally found the courage to flee.

Despite his Kenyan upbringing, Ndesandjo never felt accepted by black Africa; but as the son of a Luo tribesman, he also felt incongruous in the expatriate community to which his mother belonged.

With his first autobiography, which was released last month, Mark has emerged from relative anonymity to tell his story and set the record straight about the president's "mysterious Kenyan roots".

"I wanted to tell my story myself without other people telling it for me," he says.

Ndesandjo, 48, lives in Futian, Shenzhen, with his wife, Liu Xuehua, a Henan province native and his partner of a decade. The pair met in a tea shop when Ndesandjo was an impoverished English teacher. He had emigrated to China in 2003 from Orlando, Florida. Having lost a well-paid job in the telecommunications industry in the post-9/11 economic slump, he wrote to the director of a mainland teaching project he'd read about in a magazine, asking for a job.

"He said, 'You're obviously too qualified.' But I really wanted to explore China."

Ndesandjo expected to stay for three months. Twelve years later, he is fluent in Putonghua, proficient in calligraphy and has no plans to leave the country. Long-standing rumours tell of him running a barbecue restaurant in Shenzhen, but he laughs them off.

"I'm a vegetarian," he says.

What he does run is a foundation that helps children in need, while also teaching piano to orphans, raising awareness of domestic violence and heading up two consulting companies that assist American investors entering the Chinese and Kenyan markets, and those looking to go in the other direction, one registered on the mainland, the other in Hong Kong.

THE FIRST TIME NDESANDJO met Obama was in 1988. It was a sunny weekend in Nairobi, and Ndesandjo was on his bed reading Fawn M. Brodie's The Devil Drives, about the explorer Richard Burton.

"My mother came to the doorway and was trembling. She said, 'Your brother from America is here. In the living room. He wants to meet you.'"

In Obama's 1995 autobiography, Dreams from My Father, he claims Ndesandjo's mother, Ruth Baker, sent a car to pick him up and that the family had arranged lunch.

"It was never like that," Ndesandjo says, shaking his head. "He and my half-sister, Auma, walked in that afternoon out of the blue. It was a year after my younger brother, Bobby [David Opiyo], had died in a motorcycle accident. I thought, 'What are they doing here?'"

Obama, Ndesandjo remembers, sat on the couch in very simple clothes, appearing as a regular Kenyan, with gangly legs and arms, and huge hands.

"My stepfather [Simon Ndesandjo] was very impressed by him," he says.

The family leafed through photo albums but the meeting was stilted, and the two half-brothers agreed to meet again a few days later.

"He looked so similar to me, we both loved America and were going to Ivy League schools," he says.

Having left Kenya aged 17, armed with a scholarship, Ndesandjo had just completed a degree in maths and physics at Brown University, in Rhode Island. He was on a break in Nairobi before returning to the US, to enrol at Stanford University.

"Until then, I'd assumed I was the cleverest in the family," he says.

But the long-lost siblings failed to connect.

"Barack felt I was too Western, and I thought he was trying too hard to be African," Ndesandjo remembers. "He wanted to know a lot about my father [who had passed away in 1982], and he was very direct with his questions. I felt like he was opening up old wounds. A lot like a lawyer, he was trying to research our emotional history.

"He kept asking, 'Well, what do you think of him?' I had shut all these things out, but he was relentless. It was a shock to him when I said, 'Our father was a drunk and he beat women.' Barack flinched. He wasn't aware of that.

"I think that has coloured our relationship to this day. In fact, I know it has."

Barack Obama Snr had skin as dark as ebony, teeth that shone like pearls and, in his younger years - like his Hawaiian son - had the hallmarks of brilliance. Born in 1936 in the sun-basked Nyanza province of western Kenya, Obama Snr attended the prestigious Maseno School, where his teachers described him as an "exceptionally bright student".

However, Obama Snr didn't graduate from high school, the record shows, because of a "behaviour infraction". Consequently, in 1959, his request for a grant to study abroad was rejected. Had it not been for Elizabeth Mooney Kirk - a forty-something American who Obama Snr allegedly seduced - agreeing to bankroll him, neither Barack Obama nor Ndesandjo would be here today.

It was the Swinging Sixties in Boston when Obama Snr met Baker at a party. She was a Jewish girl from Massachusetts, born to first-generation Russian and Lithuanian immigrants, he was a Harvard graduate who was "a touchy, sarcastic but incredibly charming intellectual", according to Ndesandjo.

In August 1964, after two months of dating, Obama Snr proposed. Smitten and seeking adventure, Baker relocated to Nairobi, where her new partner should have been on a fast-track government career - prospects that were squandered in bars.

"At this point," Ndesandjo says, "my mother didn't know about Barack and his mother, Ann Dunham," who had married the African student in 1961 and divorced him three years later. Obama Snr saved that surprise for when he and Baker were in Kenya, where a picture of Barack II eventually sat on the mantelpiece of the couple's first home.

Life in the Obama household was hell. Baker says in her memoir that, from the start, Obama Snr "was drinking heavily, staying out to all hours and hitting me". Within a year, she had fled back to the US.

One night, after Obama Snr had persuaded her to return, he came home drunk and held a knife to his wife's throat. Shortly after, Baker had her seven-year marriage annulled. Ndesandjo was seven years old. Even today, thousands of miles away in Shenzhen, when Ndesandjo remembers his father's violence, tears slide down his cheeks.

Ndesandjo can't remember being told about his father's death.

"Perhaps I blocked it out," he says. "When Barack came to Kenya, I felt he admired our father because Obama Snr had been proud to be a black African; a person who wouldn't let anyone get in the way of Kenyan independence and the flow of free ideas. But I wanted to be as far away from him as possible."

After that first meeting between the half-brothers, Ndesandjo returned to the US, where he studied for a master's degree in physics at Stanford University, before preparing to take a PhD. Then, in a moment of weakness, he cheated. In his autobiography he describes the giddy moment he slipped into his professor's office to read the exam paper: "I had the keys to the kingdom."

He was caught and then suspended by the department chair, Steven Chu, who, in a twist of fate, would later work for the Barack Obama administration as secretary of energy. Ndesandjo describes feeling suicidal as he left Stanford mired in disgrace.

Two decades in the corporate world followed. During this period, Ndesandjo dropped the Obama name and never returned to Africa; didn't speak to his half-siblings - Malik and Auma - by his father's first wife, Kezia; and didn't return to see his mother. He did, however, dip in and out of contact with Barack.

Once, the pair went for lunch in San Francisco at Tommy's Joynt, a haunt for hippies and left-wing progressives. Obama again had questions about Kenya.

"I felt he was clarifying facts from years before."

A few months later, aged 33, Obama published Dreams from My Father - an autobiography he'd never prepared his family for. Ndesandjo uses Cultures to right the many wrongs he sees in his half-brother's opus.

"I think he took artistic licence with the book. He created composites of characters, and he didn't like my mother. There was also a playing up of our wealth in Kenya. We could never have afforded to send a car for him."

In 2004, the year after Ndesandjo had moved to Shenzhen, a friend drove him to the American Chamber of Commerce in Guangzhou, to watch the new Illinois state senator, Barack Obama, give the keynote address at the Democratic National Convention in Boston, which would make the politician an overnight star. As Ndesandjo and a gaggle of other Americans watched the senator speak live, before a rapturous audience waving Obama placards, Barack told the world, "We are our brother's keeper."

"At that point, no one knew of my relation to him, except the friend who had driven me over," Ndesandjo recalls. "But word gets around, and someone asked, 'Are you his brother?' I said, 'Yes'. Suddenly, I felt very proud of him."

A few days later, a friend called up. "It's great that he got that speech," the friend said. "But he'll never have a chance at being president."

Ndesandjo doesn't remember where he was when Obama made history by announcing his candidacy for president, in 2007. But he quickly renewed contact, sending his half-brother e-mails with quotes from Sun Tzu's The Art of War as the campaign thundered forward.

"Feint to the east and attack the west," he e-mailed when his challenger for the Democratic Party presidential nomination, Hillary Clinton, focused on capturing big states, "Revive in a new guise," when Obama decided to directly attack Clinton in Ohio and Texas.

Barack's campaign started to heal the Obama clan, which Ndesandjo likens to "herding cats, all moving in their own direction". Ndesandjo flew to the US to meet a half-brother, Joseph, from his mother's second marriage, to support Barack at his 2008 Democratic Party presidential debate against Clinton in Austin, Texas.

When Barack was elected, the entire Obama family was flown out to the White House for the inauguration; not an eyelid was batted when Malik came attired in a Muslim fez. As they toured the Oval Office, Barack promised he would one day meet Ndesandjo's wife in China.

"But he declined an invitation to our Shenzhen home for dinner," Ndesandjo remembers, "Barack said, 'They won't let me.'"

They, of course, would have been the White House security department. How much influence did Washington have on his own movements at that point?

"I've never gotten the impression they've tried to control what I do," says Ndesandjo. But his paranoia had compelled him to flag certain "failures" that he felt the Republicans might have been able to use as weapons in the fight for the presidency. First, his suspension from Stanford, and second, a trail of bad debt he had left in the US. Obama replied with a brief e-mail: "Mark, do not worry - your life is your own and will not affect my election."

In 2008, Ndesandjo and Liu married in a low-key ceremony. Their union is one of harmonious compromise; they speak Putonghua during the week, English on the weekends and eat separate meals - Ndesandjo is not partial to "squidgy" Chinese cuisine. He says their "otherness" is what fascinates both parties, and cites her as his rock.

It was Liu who, in 2009, encouraged Ndesandjo to pursue a lifelong ambition he knew would have long-standing familial repercussions. That year, he published Nairobi to Shenzhen, a fictionalised account of his past, but one accurate enough for the world's press to realise Ndesandjo had outed Obama Snr - the man Barack had lauded as an example of the American dream in that famous 2004 keynote speech - as a wife beater and a drunk.

The opening scene of Cultures is of Ndesandjo's long-promised meeting with Obama in Beijing, shortly after the novel was published. The half-brothers talk for five minutes and Ndesandjo describes the president as smelling vaguely of cigarette smoke and being emotionally closed. Later that day, Obama told a CNN journalist: "I don't know [Ndesandjo] very well. I met him for the first time only two years ago."

Those words stung.

"I sometimes feel we - the Obama family - have been used. Since being elected, Barack has been trying to distance himself from his relations in Kenya, and he's overly sensitive to the African dimension of his past. That's not right."

The two haven't seen each other since, but remain in e-mail contact.

"A few months ago, I said, 'Barack, you have to try and reach out more. One word to the family in Kenya - a happy birthday to Granny Sarah, who is 93 - would mean the world.' He got quite upset about that."

Still, Ndesandjo recognises the tremendous opportunities his half-brother's fame has afforded him, and is convinced Obama has been a "great president who is fundamentally trying to make good in the world".

The Obama family, Ndesandjo says, spanning Islam, Judaism, Kenya, the US, China, Indonesia - on Barack's side - and Mexico - through Joseph's wife, Dora - is a tale of what it is to be a modern, multicultural American. As his maternal Grandma Ida says in Cultures: "One day, Mark, we will all be brown."

Ndesandjo says he has made peace with Obama Snr, Barack's achievements finally having made him proud of the family name. In 2011, after 20 years away, he returned to Kogela, the family village in Kenya.

"It's funny," he says. "In Dreams, Barack says sons often spend their lives trying to achieve their father's dreams or correct their errors. That polarity defines my relationship with Barack. I've been trying to correct the issues I experienced with my father my whole life. Barack, on the other hand, has been achieving my father's goals and dreams."

This article appeared in the South China Morning Post print edition as: The other Obama

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