#like i am going through something rn

[weedsinavacantlot]

I was like "when was the last time I made a post of my own :)" and went to check my blog and the curation here is fucking rank rn sorry for the Posts I've Been Reblogging

#it's like. i hope women explode oceans 11 fandom yes he is in heat naruto abridged kpop breaking bad video kelios ratioed by jorts the cat #and then queen dead memes #like i am going through something rn #theres some normal posts between those but. like. get help maybe #m

[corpsentry]

breaking the law and outing myself on the internet because i'm showcasing my senior dance thesis on april 28 at 6:30 and 8:30 pm Eastern Standard Time and i want You to see it

we don't have a livestream link yet but we will. in the meantime look at these cool posters and this cool blurb. ok now save the date SEE YOU SOON

#my stuff #my art #these posters went through 14 separate drafts. it was a harrowing and difficult experience #i am Fully Going through it which means 1) physical health is suffering 2) social life also but 3) the thing is going to be so fucking good #sarus is gonna be the best thing ive ever made when we finish it. i Know it #so i want you to see it because it's one of those ambitious stories where everything's bigger than life #and the world is old and young and scary and kind and people live fearlessly and with cowardice #BUT EVERYTHING WILL BE OK. IF YOU JUST KEEP WALKING. this is going to be one of those stories #so many dance blurbs and descriptions are like stupid technical like oh we explored the effect of weighing down our hands and feet #on our Center of Gravity and how it altered the rotational momentum of turns and jumps #or else they're stupid esoteric like oh the wind blew..... and the children wept and all over the world the oceans rose... (global warming) #so i was determined to make this blurb (which is going in the schoolwide email blast) accessible and provocative #and inviting #in a provocative way #im very Locked in rn. im Hyperfocused as fuck. i am not eating as well asi should be but IM TRYING #AND THATS WHAT MATTERS #im inviting all of u bc this is a piece that is going to try and say something and i want everyone ive ever loved to hear it #oghey bye

[kenobihater]

of all the star wars movies, which of them do y'all 1) enjoy the most 2) consider the best quality and 3) think you've rewatched the most. add your answers in the reblogs or replies, i'm genuinely curious how much of an overlap there is within everyone's three answers. mine don't overlap at all! they're revenge of the sith, empire strikes back, and the force awakens :^)

#len speaks #star wars #revenge of the sith #empire strikes back #the force awakens #not tagging more films than that bc i cant b bothered. incoming tag ramble ahead bc i have sw brainrot rn and im making it everyones prob❤️ #i rlly struggled 2 remember if id watched tfa or aotc more. i went w/ tfa bc it was formative to me as a teen and ive seen it probably 6ish #times? whereas aotc was the first sw movie i remember (specifically the scene of obiwan serving c*nt in the bar lmao) but i've only seen it #for sure 4.5 and maybe 5.5 times. the .5 is from when i got bored after obi-wan's scene ended and ran off to go play in the mud or smthn 😭 #i'm sure tfa will eventually get surpassed in number of rewatches by aotc and rots bc i don't fw the direction of the ST but that's my #current ballpark estimate of my total number of rewatches #as an adult tho if i just wanna watch a star war i'll go with aotc bc it's fun and ends semihappily and i can turn my brain off for the #spinny lightsabers. it's great background noise or for if you're sick or whatever. rots on the other hand? i won't talk through that unless #i'm quoting it with my brother and i am LOCKED IN 100% entirely entranced by it all #i almost picked rogue one for the best quality answer but i think the character writing is weaker and the facial cgi is creepy. esb beats #it by a hair imho bc of that. the vader hallway scene goes hard tho!!! #also i'm not covering shows or games or books or anything else in this post - simply the films. might ask abt shows later but that might #also give me hives bc so many of the shows suck ass and i don't rlly want ppl extolling the virtues of t.bb in my notes 💀 #and yes i do think one's enjoyment and one's opinion of quality are two things that often overlap. but sometimes you just like something #bad and that's awesome. like rots is the best of the prequels by a large margin and i adore the opening and characters and many of the #scenes but that doesn't mean it's the best star wars has to offer ykwim? it's my specialest most favoritest sw movie but that doesn't blind #me to the dialogue lmfaooo

[iknowwhereyousnoozeatnight]

couple of mello + near doodles

#death note #mello #mihael keehl #near #nate river #meronia #bright colors #eyestrain #been having fun w colors recently :3 #these are the product of me really really really not wanting to do some discussion boards #like i don’t even hate discussion boards but something about them has been filling me with dread i’d rather just do exams tbh #i'm like dragging myself through the rest of this semester but it's different from last semester last semester i was losing my mind #this semester i've been able to sleep more than 4 hours a night and go outside bc it's not freezing but also i'm just so fucking done #with school i've been here too long i'm tired but i'm always tired and will always be tired it's tragic honestly i think i'd be more cool #with school if i weren't living how i am rn w my family but eh i don't have the money to move out so it's whatever and it doesn't really #help that i know i'll have to get at least a master's to really do anything in my field and the though of doing more of this makes #me so tired i think i might take a gap year after i get my bachelors this fall idk #anyways enjoy my doodles or don't if you don't want to i'm not the boss of you

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

oh my god oh my god oh my GODDDDDD i can’t BELIEVE i found these on my little rainy october thrift shop wander this morning. like, one would have been more MORE enough. but both?? at once??? i am quite simply floating and may never touch back down to earth

#obviously given that it was second hand i don’t know if alex’s autograph is legit #but from my (untrained and overly hopeful) eye it looks very much like it could be??? #anyone who’s more expert in these things feel free to weigh in!! #and the photo book #aghhhhhhhhh #i have been wanting to get my hands on a copy for AGES #there’s something so special and atmospheric about matt’s photography that i’m just obsessed with #and to be able to actually look at them in physicality all together like that is truly something else #i also love that it’s designed like a passport obviously because of the whole album concept #but also because it truly does feel like a little glimpse into their world when they were making it #god what am i meant to do with the rest of my day after this??? 😭 #(put the humbug album on and look through the photo book of course. and maybe even a little fic writing if my heart rate slows enough) #god bless whoever donated these and whatever luck allowed me to find them today 💜💜💜 #i was in need of a bit of a pick me up and by god did this go above and beyond #sorry for how nonsensical all of this has probably been #i’m just #i’m feeling a lot rn 😭 #arctic monkeys #alex turner #lulu posts

[vcrnons]

DINO | fallen, misfit, lost

#dino #lee chan #dino gifs #seventeen dino #svt #seventeen #seventeen gifs #svt gifs #*mine #my gif #going through something of a chan phase rn. don't ask questions #i didn't see nearly enough of him around the time this video came out and i am now making it my business to flood the tl with dino <3 #/hj but. like. like i'm gonna a little bit. slightly. just a Bit

[unexpectedbrickattack]

.

#chattin #nothing bad or spicy i just feel like peep peeping rn #📢🐀! #but there is talk of panic attacks and Bad Stims up ahead (not related to me dw) -> #i was thinking of autistic peppino bc i am planning out the vigilante comic in my head #and like the quick premise is that vigilante comes into the pizzeria and shoots a blank into the ceiling to get everyone to shut up #and quiet down so he can go ask for (demand really) to see peppino bc this fuckerhas a bounty FOR A REASON and hes here to find out why #bc u know; cowboy yeehaw shenanigans #only its like 5am and no one is there jdkdndjdndk he just saw the lights one and went BANGBANG #anyway peppino is in the back cowering bc someone came into his fucking shop and started shooting UNPROMPTED #and hes so fucking scared and unwilling to move and when he sees someone actually come through the back door he starts having a legitimate- #-panic attack and he starts doing the stimmy hands thing over his ducked head #and vigilante is like whoa whoa WHOA WHOA HOL UP WHATS HAPPENIN #like i dont think peppino has ‘happy stims’ he has ‘extremely self soothing’ stims #that include flapping but only if hes so unbelievably stressed that he cant think #or he has more violent ones like pulling at his hair and biting his hands #that on top of like a genuine panic attack where he cant breathe and he thinks his heart is stopping is 😵‍💫 #vigilante is like christ almighty what the fucks got you so damned spooked?? like he doesnt even think of the blank he shot #he assumed someone came in before him or something #and hes like oh shit wait thats mE I DID THAT I SCARED HIM #i am still planning it out but yes. autistic peppino is on my mind 😊 #in a more positive light hes very earnest; and good at his job bc cooking in an interest of his #and his responses in social situations are bizarre enough sometimes to wrap back around to endearing #also its an excuse to draw peppino looking very confused but happy and gustavo somewhere in the shot going- #‘the bad bitch i pulled in by being autistic’ #swag #ALSO THE TAG IS BACK so i guess i can doodle again heehee

[corfisers]

i really need to finish this one day

#one of my fave ideas but i keep getting stuck or starting over. third time's the charm hopefully #anyways. posting it as an excuse to rant because i'm losing my mind over this rn for no reason #incoherent but i just need to Talk or my brain won't shut up #you ever think about how fucked up it is that aoi feels guilty over what happened. i do. i think about her a lot #he can't even look at me. we aren't even blood related but he still had to go to jail because of me. i still love him #in reality none of it is her fault. it shouldn't be about doumeki in the first place. baby girl you were 15 when it happened. #you can say that yashiro is cruel in his dismissiveness (on the surface) of doumeki's trauma but you can see where he's coming from #you got a glimpse of what your sister was going through? of what i went through? and now you're sooo guilty over it? and who does it help? #doumeki's so focused on his own feelings that he ignored aoi when they were living together. “saves” her by pure chance #proceeds to focus on his guilt and ignore her again. if yashiro didn't get involved she'd be sitting in the rain for god knows how long #yet she still loves and to some degree idolizes him #yashiro and aoi both saying that doumeki isn't the type of person to be a yakuza too. doumeki's good doumeki's better than that #and then ch 24 happens. where yashiro says that he's going to throw up and doumeki's response is “i probably won't stop even if you do” #“guess i am like my father after all” and yashiro still goes “you're not. you're pure and im the problem” #(touches doumeki's face. rare gentle gesture. he's gentle afterwards too before leaving. man.) #he's not cruel enough to repeat what he said in the earlier conversation and he doesn't actually believe it anyway #but i wish yashiro was cruel there. it shouldn't have been about doumeki and his feelings. again. #something about yashiro throwing a knife at another person and it flying back at him huh #for all the talk about how doumeki supposedly romanticizes yashiro it really is the other way around. always has been #which is a whole other conversation but yeah. everything about aoi and yashiro in relation to doumeki makes me so fucking sad #but this is also what i mean when i say that aoi doesn't haunt the narrative per se but still has this weird presence? #she's in the parallels. she's in the brief but important mentions. she's in the “your sister was lucky she had you”. #wips tag

[royaltea000]

obligatory shilling for my fics because I exclusively write Gilbussy and Gilbussy accessories (ie breeding kink, etc) that may be to ur taste >:3c (but no pressure at all aldnekfkfjfjf)

You will be hearing from me later. (pos/ threat)

#I am going to do something drastic #I AM LOOKING AT THE TAGS RIGHT NOW PROOSH #I AM EATING THEM WITH MY EYES AS WE SPEAK #I need to be home free right this second to read them #I feel like a street dog drooling through a deli window rn

[iceeericeee]

I wonder how many tags i can add on to this

#there must be SOME kind of a limit otherwise posts would get suuuuuuper duper long like is it just 30? #idk but i'm going to find out by simply maxxing out the character limit for each tag and finding out the limit of tags for each post lololo #this is gonna be great. i just have to remember to type without ever using the comma. it shouldn't be too hard right? fuck i almost typed #the comma i'm already bad at this smh my head. also if your still here i commend you. you have a better attention span than i do. #i'm already starting to get bored holy shit this is not happening. i gotta power through this. FOR SCIENCEEEEEEEEEE. or somethinggggggggggg #but fr idk what else to say. maybe just saying that i don't know what to say will be good enough? but does that even count? #I don't even know anymore. ffffffffuck. this is gonna be a while huh? also holy shit if you're still here omg u deserve like. a prize or #something because u definitely didn't have to stay and read all of this bull shit. lololol i typed out bs but decided to just spell the who #thing out just to make it go by faster. i'm so lazy. this is only the nineth tag HOW will i make it to 30. i am sobbing the adhd is adhding #very hard rn. are you still here? bruh this is insane. i have somehow managed to keep ur attention this long and it's just me spouting #absolute balderdash. wait do you know what balderdash even means? i don't care if you do already i'm gonna tell you anyway. balderdash is #basically just another word for nonsense. boom. you learned something new today. balderdash equals nonsense equals this damn post. #why did i decide to do this in the first place. it was a dumb idea. i don't know if i can even keep going. this is only the *counts tags* #it's the 14th tag. we've got a long way to go boys. men. soldiers. comrads. friends. besties peeps. marshmallows. #where was i going with this? oh yeah. trying to max out the limit for tags. dang i almost typed a comma there. i haven't done that since #i think the third or fourth tag. dang that feels like such a long time ago. not for you guys probably. it feels longer because i have to li #type it all out and stuff. so it's definitely gonna feel longer for me. are you still here? good lord don't you have better things to #be doing than reading all of this? we're already on tag number 18. it feels like i should be on the thirtyeth by now. or however it's spell #'toast' you might be wondering 'why are you typing out the names of the numbers instead of say '9' or '5'?' well you see. young one. #this is a strategy i'm using to make each tag slightly longer. even if i don't know how to spell it. it'll make it just a little bit longer #anyway. i got off topic. not that there was ever a topic to begin with. unless it's about making this as long as i can. #which i am apparently good at doing. i guess. are you STILL here? do you seriously have nothing to do? i guess i'm flattered you stayed thi #whole time. instead of reading something else you stayed here. with me. listening to me talk. on the twenty-third tag. oh yeah its tag 23 #except now it's tag twenty-four. how crazy is that. this little talk is almost over. only 6 tags away if memory serves right. this's strang #i kind of don't want this to end. but i know it should. after all there is a limit. but all things must come to and end at some point i gue #i'm running out of things to say. it's probably a good thing it's almost over. hahahahah............... but i don't want to go. i don't wan #to leave this post. i've worked so hard on it. and for what. just for it to end. are you still here? yes? good. i'd hate to end this alone. #thank you for indulging me and my craziness. the end is only 2 tags away now. you can go ahead and leave. i'll be okay on my own. really... #...you're still here? i- i don't know what to say. i suppose a toast is in order. perhaps. for this journey. this stupid dumb post i though #would be fun. i'll make it short. it's the last tag after all. this was fun. but i will never do it again. so long as a i live. i'll miss y

[hella1975]

.

#be deadly fucking serious rn PLEASE whatttt. that post that's like 'parents will say something that shapes you as a person #but for them it was just another tuesday' like WHAT JUST HAPPENED #basically if you've been following me since i went to uni then you know first year was an... interesting time for me and my mum #we rowed all the time and it's the most unsettled our relationship has ever been and i do truly believe it was just some unfortunate #external factors like me leaving home would rock the boat enough it was always gonna rejig our dynamic #but on top of that i was her LAST child to fly the nest which she hated AND my sister was in germany being insanely dependent on my mum #so i got sidelined a lot which was shitty at the time but i get it now like im still a bit bitter bc being the eldest everything my sister #does is an exciting first and our age gap means typically our academic big moments tend to cross over #so my a-levels happened during her first year of uni so for me a-levels were the biggest thing ever but ofc her thing was bigger #but when she did HER a-levels it was the biggest thing ever and i was /just/ doing gcses etc and germany was the same #like it was JUST my first year of uni bc meanwhile my sister was living alone in a foreign country. so that sucks and my mum was #defo focused on my sister and i wasn't in a position to be like 'hey i know it doesn't seem like it now you've got one kid through it #but going to university and settling in for the first year is still an insanely stressful and lonely time so please pay attention to me' #and all in all me and my mum just STRUGGLED we fought A LOT and not petty rows either they were really emotionally heavy all the time #and basically what's caused this post is that she said about america 'it'll be the longest ive been away from you' #and i know what she meant like a month out of england is the biggest thing ive ever done and im not even in EUROPE so this is huge #but i kinda said like 'im pretty sure i went a month in first year a couple times without visiting?' AND I MEANT IT CASUAL #BC I AM PRETTY SURE IT'S TRUE LIKE I WASNT EAGER TO GO HOME I WENT SOME WEEKS NOT EVEN RINGING #which REALLY shows how strained it must have been at the time. and she responds with confusion so i pointed out that first year #wasn't a great time for us and again still being casual bc it's such a fundamental truth for me that first year was Bad for me and mum #and she just blinks at me like 'what are you talking about' what. WHAT. like i knew she wasn't paying much attention to me then #but it made me MISERABLE for an entire YEAR like boom can testify bc they had to deal with my bs over the phone the entire time #and my mum just. didn't even notice that we weren't doing well. what. what the fuck even..... baffled by this actually #like i am REELING from this i feel like she just tipped the fundamentals of my world with that #hella goes home

[gynecologistmsfrizzle]

“it’s so sad you can’t save karlach” you absolutely CAN save karlach and i have a paper to write about why nobody thinks you can

#bg3 spoilers #SHES HAPPY. SHE IS LITERALLY HAPPY TO BE A MIND FLAYER. SHE SAYS TO YOU ‘THIS IS INSANE BUT I FEEL CRAZY LUCKY RN’. #she doesn’t want to do it ! but if she does she’s VERY HAPPY WITH THE TRADEOFF! #bg3 snuck one of the most interesting thought-provoking Meditations On Beauty I’ve ever seen into their viddy game and I am CHEWING on it. #there’s obviously plenty to say about this relative to tav and the other characters as well #and the player’s inherent reluctance to take what is MECHANICALLY nothing but a boost #on the grounds that it will slightly alter their appearance #And like how (and whether!) we justify that as being what our characters would do etc etc yada yada #but it is LITERALLY lifesaving for karlach. The only other options for her are death or going back to a place #that she considers worse than death. #it’s a choice that she would have made happily if she knew going in that it would switch off her engine! #she is nothing but relieved if you talk to her afterwards! she looks radically different but she is the same person! #and YET as a player . Even knowing all of that!! it still sort of feels like losing her #and there’s REALLY something juicy there about how we think about appearance #and the nature of the self etc #also it’s definitely not that deep but I could say something about her appearance rework from EA #and how her being a conventionally ‘attractive’ character plays into this #like honestly? If it was laezel in the same situation I think we’d all be reacting very differently! #and I include myself in that! Through that whole scene I was going WOW this feels like such a hard choice #And at the same time looking at myself like holy shit you’re SO in the beauty complex soup! #anyways. Much to think about. Mind flayer karlach is adorable also. #Rhi talks

[hexados-on-a-string]

spectragus dont get enough credit for being a sun and moon ship but like. destructive sun and moon ship. sun and moon ship but they're the forces of nature the sun and moon actually are. the sun is harsh and relentless and unpredictable in its evil but also it's kindness, the moon is sharp and cold and cruel, a harsh light that doesn't allow you peace, but can also guide you, a light in the darkness. even on nights with a new moon, with no light in the sky, the moon is always reflecting the sun, and it'll be that way until they come to their end.

#spectragus give me a dopamine high that any sort of drug couldn't even come close to giving me #its the loyalty. its the seeing each other at their worst and still staying. #its the being the only person still around who knows and understands what youve been through #its the being so important to each other's characters that u cant mention one without recognising the impact the other has on them #i dont rlly do shipping unless its funny but also im a huge gus fan so like. yea. plus my view on romance is a bit all over the place anyway #something something my skrunkles deserve complicated relationships that are more than romantic but something else #its the trust thats the most important thing to me. trust and loyalty and devotion and #im sorry but i would have exploded if i like. didn't write down these thoughts #anyways fucked up gay people who are a package deal and that is a threat thats them #ik the majority of my posts are hee hee funnie and i usually dont take things too seriously #but these two have taken up part of my brain permanently since i was 8. like. they just live there. rent free. #i am like rabid rn. i am feral and i am insane and i am crazy and there are so many things wrong with me #i cant even write down all my fuckin thoughts there's so many my brain is going to Explode pray for me #idk if u understand how important it is to me the times they show kindness even while at their worst #they're not good people but they have people they care about and they care abt each other and that matters SO much #i take 0 criticism on my posts i only take cash. however there is no possible criticism to be made bc i am RIGHT #also this all kinda sparked from me getting obsessed with a certain kh character who has a connection to the moon #who is also one of my favourite characters ever #and if u know who it is and u also like him ur very cool #im not tagging this w character tags. im like. very shy. but #i love gus i love spectra i love spectragus #anyways see u next time where i should hopefully have art maybe potentially #i found the brushes i used to use back when i did lineless art so i am rlly happy

[phoneybeatlemania]

.

#is beatles fandom dead rn or am i just wayyyyy out of the loop 🥴🥴 #i havent been on for awhile #i feel like someone needs to make a super super controversial post to revive us all tho #or something idk #just going through tags thinking WHERE are the arguments #wheres the tea #🥴

[sleevebuscemii]

.

#have a first date with a guy on thursday and like. #do you think it’s a red flag that im more excited to text my crush from the trip about the date than i am to actually go on the date 😶 #like something something the romanticism and allure of the impossibility of being into a guy who i knew for two weeks #and who lives on a different continent than me #vs a real person i will actually be dating and have the chance to possibly build a relationship with #also something something knowing this person actually likes me vs getting to play a noncommittal guessing game with this crush like. #per chance im still not ready to be in a relationship is the actual answer here…. #but also like i am soooooooo excited fo text my crush about it like he’s the only person who even knows about this date #because it came up while we were having a pleasantly surprising long conversation about life and relationships on our last night together #and i told him all my fears and he talked me through them which only made me like him MORE and he made me promise to keep him updated and #lowkey maybe lowkey highkey thats why im going on the date so i have an excuse to text him and thats not very fan to my actual Date but. #*fair #but also im riding the high of the trip and this crush and once that fades im sure a real human being who wants to get to know me is #the better deal #but rn im just not being very healthy about the whole thing #thoughts and prayers for me #m

[i-will-physically-fight-you]

hiya just a small psa, first off--thank you for those who sent in writing asks, I'm going to answer them soon. also I am going to try and update Gibbous on Oct 12 (as a bday treat for myself) but if it doesnt happen, then I'll just post a small teaser on here of what I have so far of it. My mental health is still a work in progress, despite my post after Spoke No More (iykyk in terms of having a mental high followed by an immediate mental low haha) but if I go radio silent on this blog, it doesnt mean anything bad, it just means I need to take time to care for myself

#kat talks #time to ramble in the tags: i think the worst part of going through a negative spiral is when you know youre dealing with irrational though #patterns but they do feel very real in the moment lmao #its so frustrating! anyways i am having a hard time with my bday coming up because due to Events in my life i feel like #i have aged five years in a negative way and I've weirdly been thinking of myself being much older than i actually am #it feels like im dealing with howls moving castle curse irl is the best way i can describe it #so anyways i do want to be able to finish Gibbous chapter so that is something positive i can look forward to for my bday #but im also not going to let my happiness depend on that #because I've placed my happiness in so many things this year only to be let down by it all #i do want to write more and interact in fandom in a more active way but i am going through a lot rn #so if we have talked in the past please know im not intentionally ignoring you! its not anything personal towards you i promise