#like i am closer to home | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

avotuli · 7 months

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this isnt about nightmares or fear, this is about love

#the terror amc #the terror #come closer i am a normal tv series #i wont rip your heart out in chunks and make a home inside #james fitzjames #jfj #fitzjames haha more like fitzgender #i have never read p&p is it any good #my art

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clairenatural · 3 months

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I either move back home across the country or to an entirely different continent there is no longer an in between

#i love my job i love my friends i am mostly content in my life here but im ITCHY #feels Wrong feels like a costume that won't quite zip closed #i want to either be home with my mom forever or a complete 180 change #is this what your mid 20s is #pulled in two directions. closer and further from home

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becca-e-barnes · 1 year

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Hey lovely! I love your work so much honestly you’re absolutely amazing! I was just wondering if you’d ever write anything for sbf!bucky again? I re read your work about him all the time and I’m a little bit of a whore for him 😅 no pressure whatsoever, it’s just that sweet baby has my heart 🥺

Sbf!Bucky has been really heavily requested recently and now I feel like I've been neglecting him 😩 I really enjoy writing him and it lets me dabble in my dream of being a milf some day

But I feel like he has a real sweet tooth. He's a dessert guy, 110%. Not like your husband or your son.

From the very first Sunday that your son brought Bucky over for dinner, he's been so into your desserts because a good dessert is something he's really missed during his last couple of years at college. It doesn't even really matter what you make, every week he tells you it's even better than whatever you made the Sunday before.

The store bought, dry cakes he sometimes treats himself to don't even come close to the fluffy sponges you make for him. He tells you your lemon meringue is better than the one his aunt used to make and your pies are probably a cure for sadness. He exaggerates but at least he sounds sincere.

And it's nice. It's nice that he appreciates your effort. It's nice that your desserts actually get eaten and enjoyed. It's nice that you're not sitting at the dinner table alone after lunch. Company is nice. Compliments are nice.

"I know it's late but I don't want you to think I'd forgotten." You made yourself busy in the kitchen, talking a little louder so Bucky could still hear you in the dining room. He usually helped you plate up dessert but not today.

"What are you talking about?" Bless him, he sounded so confused. "I can give you a hand if you like?"

"No, it's okay. Close your eyes." You thought your instruction was clear enough but Bucky still protested.

"Just close your eyes, Buck." You could've sworn you felt him raise his eyebrows but he did as he was told anyway.

You set the plate in front of him and laid a little dessert fork above his placemat. "I know your birthday was last Tuesday but I thought we could still celebrate it today. You're only 24 once." Bucky opened his eyes to the most mouth watering slice of chocolate cake he swore he'd ever seen in his life.

Two thick layers of moist chocolate sponge with a rich chocolate icing in between. The cake must have been heated for a couple of minutes, making the icing warm enough to make the layers slide slightly. Thick, warm chocolate sauce rolled down the sides, taking with it a light dusting of powdered sugar, almost washing away the single lit birthday candle. The plate was decorated with a perfect scoop of cool vanilla ice cream and some fresh strawberries, left overnight in a teaspoonful of sugar to draw out their juice.

"You didn't need to make a whole cake just for me!" His genuine excitement was heartwarming, quickly blowing out his candle before wax melted onto his dessert.

"Sweetheart, I make a whole cake just for you every week. Happy birthday." You lifted the little dessert fork, slicing through the sponge with it, making sure to add a little ice cream and a slice of strawberry before raising it to his lips.

You could swear he actually moans when the cake passes his lips. He makes the same noise at dessert every Sunday and you swear you never get tired of hearing it. It's so close to the noise he makes when he first sinks inside you and God, that sound is beautiful.

Your foot grazes his leg, gently but deliberately and there's a battle going on behind those eyes when he takes the fork from his own mouth. On one hand, your husband is in the next room, sitting beside your son, Bucky's best friend. On the other hand, Bucky needs you to know how much he appreciates this. Appreciates you. And if he's honest with himself, your husband and son being so close has never stopped him before.

"Fuck, you've ruined me." He groans, pressing his lips to yours in a hurry. Somehow you manage to stifle your surprise, catching up when he presses you back onto the dining room table.

"You and those fucking desserts. It's not fair. You get me half hard during dinner and then you feed me the best chocolate cake I've ever had? Do you know how unfair that is?" His hands are all over you, pulling your skirt up in between frantic kisses.

The chocolate cake is all but forgotten, the ice-cream left to melt while Bucky kisses your neck before he tugs your panties off, tucking them into the back pocket of his jeans.

#asks answered <3 #anon #becca writes spice #sbf!bucky #son's best friend!bucky #I am not a dessert girlie at all #I haven't reread my own sbf!bucky stuff in months I should do that #he's so fun to write for #for anyone following the 'becca buys a house' saga #I went to see the house I liked last week and it's not for me #the street was kind of noisy and I just know it would freak me out 😭#I have a viewing booked for a house on Wednesday night #it's in a really quiet area a bit closer to home but I'm not sure I love the property #and it's probably not likely to increase much in value #might cancel that viewing tbh #because I found one this afternoon that I'm really excited about #I love the area #I'm going to book a viewing on Monday but it looks like I could walk straight into it #loads of potential too #pretty good location for public transport #off street parking for my car #the kitchen has a cute little built in wine cooler 🥺#and the most exciting part imo: THE BACK GARDEN IS FAKE GRASS #I'D NEVER NEED TO CUT THE GRASS #I don't know why that excited me so much but it really did #fingers crossed it's not like the last one!!#tw: food #tw: food mention #tw: cheating

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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 months

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#its sort of funny. i think my medication is working pretty well. i feel stable in a way i never really have before #is it the dopamine stablizer or is it my ion channels? whos to say. it doesn't matter. but it also doesnt change some things #the ways i think and react negativly to change. but it makes it easier to deal with. i still experience this strange dispaire on the #weekends or anytime im not working. i think the oddest thing is thst i dont think ive ever been this consistenly sad #not in a depressed sort of way. just a passing thoughts make me tear up sort of way. it doesnt feel out of control. it just feels like a #prelude to grief i guess. bc my mum is still in the hospital and its so hard to kno what that means from halfway across the country #my sisters are both home right now. they both live within 3hrs of where we grew up. one sister lives in the city my mom goes to for #treatment. so they have the opportunity to see her more than me. i dunno if they do tho. we dont really talk. i dont kno if they're as sad #as i am. if im overreacting bc i cant physically see what's happening. what the feeling is in the room. not that she would probably complain #shes the suffer in silence type. my dad keeps texting us pics of our shitty lil sunroom that hes redoing #to make my mum a lil sanctuary. he must be sad too. its his wife. hes staying with her in the hospital rn. i dunno its so weird #when i talk to my counselor she assumes i find out info thru calls or talk to my sisters abt it and i gotta b like nah we dont really talk #i get my info thru text. i havent talked to my parents on the phone in like a month. i dunno we just dont talk. so i dont kno how to reach #out and be like yo so whats up? shoulf i plan on coming home this summer for a bit?? like???#this is the disadvantage of leaving thr place where you grew up. probably when i finish my phd i should move closer to home #somewhere in the Appalachian mountains maybe. somewere in the eastern deciduous forrest. somewhere with thunderstorms.#but thats years from now. who knows what ill b doing. for now im just sad and tired and i dont quite kno what to do in the short or long #term bc im feeling the weight of my mental limitations rather intensely. but maybe im just being self limiting #whatever. i dont have a dead mum yet. shes not even on hospice care. things are just uncertain and dont look so hot #i just dont see how it can get better from here when chemo gave her secondary blood cancer and shes still full of tumors #i dont think im being that dramatic. it just objectively seems not great for survival #unrelated

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aefensteorrra · 3 months

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I would like to go somewhere for my birthday but going alone feels so.. not pointless but yeah it does a little bit

#was thinking I could go to London for the first time (the fact I've never been lol)#or Copenhagen #I am prone to feeling extremely lonely doing something like this so London is perhaps the better choice #closer to home init

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munamania · 4 months

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i dont wanna be a dick and act like i have no responsibility in this but after a point dont u think if all you ever say to ur friend is Omg you never make it out why dont you ever come out with us you bail all the time youre such a flake etc. dont u think that person (me) is like. not gonna feel so inclined to. be there

#like. yeah i was bad last semester i get it. and probably i shouldve tried at least once or twice to push thru #but i was so exhausted. and every time they would bring up hanging out it was on my longest days #and when i casually brought this up they were just like Well we have long days too. Okay!#and i love and miss these friends and i know for the most part. or at least think. theyre just teasing #i hate being seen as the flake like any time i do have to be like Oh i cant make that or Shit im sorry i have to bail #i try to offer an alternative???? and they never compromise on that. how is that fair like im not just outright rejecting u all the time #not to mention most of the time last semester it was always gonna be somewhere super easy for them to get home and far from me #im not like constantly holding this against them btw but i feel like they're holding it against me and i dont have any more apologies in me #anyway. that said. if theyre somewhere really expensive and far from me tn and i get out of work early #i. probably will not make it. lol! if theyd be willing to come a little closer to my place to one of the dives or some shit thatd be great #and like im not doing much today until class and work so really like. i WILL try. but i think they could sometimes not go for the most #expensive and inconvenient option as well. and these r all things ill say if it becomes like a problem problem or smth #but rn im not gonna be a dickhead and shit on their plans #but also! ok whatever im not gonna keep going on i just feel shitty im not 100% better from being sick and im just frustrated #about having to fuckign grovel over and over and over. i meant it the first few times now im just like #u could try not to be an asshole to me for five seconds too. like. i am very clearly not someone trying to secretly stop being friends #w yall. things happen #abby talks #and maybe this is an esp sore spot bc like ive certainly had some of you bail on me or be flaky or whatever before. and i didnt throw #a fucking fit to your face about it. probably bc it actually did feel more mean spirited sometimes #OK im sorry im not trying to make my friends sound evil and its mostly just the one and like im working on forgiving her for it cause it #was years ago but also like christ!

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altruistic-meme · 2 years

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Sorry about your day :(

Unpopular character opinion: Erik was actually kind of a douche. He was just a good brother to Wille

(I think that's a fairly shared opinion here on tumblr but I don't think it's shared on tiktok and such)

thank you beloved ;;; it wasn’t Terrible but im still angry at how things got handled and it's. sigh. but at least i was with people i know and could talk to, so im trying to focus on that brightside. plus it’s over now, so that’s also good!

anyways, i absolutely agree with this. im so glad to be seeing it talked about more on tumblr bc honestly it's smth that I've been trying to understand. [i will avoid yr tiktok for as long as i shall live. i only visit sometimes for zee’s edits]

Erik was kinda a douche!!! one of his few scenes includes him laughing at a terrible joke that August makes!!! and I've always hated that!!!!

honestly, I think the fandom idolizes him, in a way. part of that is certainly because we don't have much to go off of, and part of it is because what we DO have is biased via Wilhelm (who clearly looks up to and does also idolize Erik), and I feel like part of it is just because we all WANT someone to put Wilhelm first and to actually take care of him.

and im absolutely included in this!!!

but really, what we DO see in canon is very much NOT what we see in fandom. laughing at August’s joke is just the tip of the iceberg, really, because we also see him being relatively strict with Wilhelm (telling him to let August take the bag, telling him to go back out during parents day to keep up appearances). and one thing that is also very interesting is that he ignores Wilhelm at one point (specifically, when he’s leaving Hillerska and Wilhelm tells him to say hi to their parents, Erik doesn’t acknowledge it)

but as far as the second half, i do think he tends to be a pretty good brother as well! he teases Wilhelm, he rough-houses with him, he pulls him into stunts that could get them both in trouble, and he generally seems to be able to read him pretty well (something he probably wouldn’t be able to do if he didn’t spend much time with him-- the only other person who i think is comparable in really being able to read Wilhelm is Simon)

all in all, this is very much just me rambling, but yeah. i agree. he does seem to be a douche, but we tend to focus a lot on the aspects that we see in him being a good brother. ignoring his bad qualities is easier because we see him so little, but they are still present whether we like it or not.

#i wrote this over the course of 2 breaks and am finishing it having gotten home kshdfdshf #so if it seems disconnected at points its bc it IS #cus parts were written hours apart skdhfksdhf #ANYWAYS #long winded af bc i can't keep quiet and like i said i have many thoughts on the way erik is portrayed in the show vs in fanfics #i really really want to write a fic where he is ALIVE so i can write him closer to this version than the fandom version #i've got 2 but one is probably gonna be more fandom version just bc. i want to fit the story. and i make the damn rules #but i have another story that i plan to have him more like this. i think it'll be a fun challenge anyway #askers #spaghett-shitposts #young royals #shh ac

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lancehenriksen · 3 months

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