#like i actually got physically sick

[ink-the-artist]

blood animals

#ask to tag #blood #blood painting #creatures #i get a lot of nosebleeds i thought id give blood painting a try #it was weird i never feel sick or weird at all from the sight of blood #and i didnt really while painting this but i felt kinda like i was going to feel sick? #if that makes sense #so im prob not gonna do this again unfortunately #idk if it was the smell or the texture of it as it clotted #ive gotten sick at the sight of blood exactly once before when id accidentally squeezed a bunch of blood out of a blister #got super nauseous and p much expirienced all the symptoms of a panic attack minus any actual feeling of anxiety or panic #just the physical stuff #weird

[shahareen]

never has there ever been a ship that goes through this cycle like asaden does

#IMAGE NOT MINE. ITS FROM THE TWITTER FOLKS #almost fooled myself into thinking that i got over this ship.. i was finally gonna live my best life but this chapter reeled me back in DAMN #like SIKE u thought #theyre so ENDGAME otp it actually hurts #the chokehold asaden has is unmatched #asaden #chainsaw man #csm spoilers #chainsaw man 149 #denji #csm #asa mitaka #denji hayakawa #csm denji #mitaka asa #DENJI AND ASA ARE SO STARVED FOR LOVE IM SICK #ASADEN IS LIKE. TWO POOR STRAY PUPPIES LEFT OUT IN THE RAIN TRYNA KEEP EACH OTHER WARM DESPITE THE WHOLE WORLD DROWNING IN A NEVER ENDING #ONSLAUGHT OF MURKY PUDDLE TYPE WATER #SICKENING. I FEEL PHYSICALLY ILL

[icewindandboringhorror]

Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!

#cats #holiday #OUGHH....... barely could even get these edited and posted... my mysterious sickness flare up has been sooo bad the past few #days.. I didn't even go to the usual obligatory family christmas I was supposed to attend (!!! health issue/medical mention in tags below) #My stomach issues basically put me in a constant state of uncontrollable shivering/body shaking + nausea + sometimes rapid heart #rate. and when it happens at night that makes it like.. nearly impossible to sleep when you're violently shaking + you can feel your heart #so strong + you keep having to run to the bathroom every 5 minute to cough and gag #and throw up and so on and so forth. etc. So I went like 40 hours without any sleep almost for christmas eve and all of christmas day #last night I finally got maybe 2 hours of sleep in between the nausea and shaking and stuff. and then today I was able to get a few #hours of sleep in the afternoon. Today I tried taking an anxiety mediciation a doctor gave me in case it was anxiety related (it's apparent #ly used to relax people and works in the moment. rather than like Anxiety Mediciation that you have to take for weeks to see any effect #because I think this isn't actually acting on your brain chemistry it's judt like..a mild sedative or something.) but all that did was make #me dizzy and sweaty lol. I;m glad I slept a little but I'm just still frustrated that I don't feel normal. I started having these #'episodes' (with the stomach issues + shaking + heartrate + nausea etc.) like at the end of october. And usually it will happen for like a #few hours at a time. or i'll lose sleep one day and then be fine the next. but this has been like nearly 3 days of feeling weird. so is #getting kind of annoying... It's funny too because I was so so productive like.. literally the few days before. I was feeling much better #and I was working on my game and blah blah. But then.. random issue flare up out of nowhere of course.. yaayy.... happy holidays to meee lo #I did at least see two random ducks outside of my window in the yard area for christmas. and havent seen them since. So it's like.. hrmm.. #pacing around my room nauseous and shakings and etc. but at least... hello.. two little ducks placed there just for me :3c #Now I get anxiety every night which I'm sure doesn't help/could exacerbate whatever underlying genuinely physical issues exist. But after #like 2 nights of 'I spend the night sleepless and incredibly uncomfortable just sitting in the dark sick' then bedtime is like.. dread... #I even was trying slapping myself in the face in desperation to see if somehow that could shock my body out of whatever the hell it was #doing lol.. up at 3am holding ice cubes in my hand and hitting myself in the head and crying from exhaustion and thowing up.. literally #ridiculous cartoon character feeling... AAANYWAY!!! At least I have baby boy pictures. and I have lots of doctors appointments so hopefully #whatever the issue is can be sorted out at some point. I don't know much about ibs but hopefully maybe something like that that I could pos #ibly take medication for and not something more seirous or anything. Maybe there's a food I'm secretly intolerant to or whatever. #And I did at least post a sims holday video actually timed for the holidays so that's something. I havent been productive really latrely #though obviously.. I can't even play games or small tasks when in that state since I'm just SO physically uncomfortable. Nausea and heart #stuff are THE hardest physical sensations to ignore.. BUT yeah... hoping I shall sleep at all tonight. hopeing to get like 3 productive #things done.. at some point... at least SOMETHING... lol..... *** *** ***

[hamartia-grander]

Wyll breaking up with the player character if Ulder dies so Wyll must become the Duke makes me wanna throw up sobbing because he actually thinks that just because his father's first duty being to Baldur's Gate made him a Bad Father that Wyll himself will inevitably be a Bad Lover because surely no one could match love with duty if his father couldn't, unknowing he has more love in one hand than his father had in his entire body. fuck

#More in my reblog #“my father taught me more lessons than I can count” yeah dog they were called CAUTIONARY TALES 😭😭😭 #“pull me too close and I'm destined to hurt you” FUCKIGN. BITING YOU #“a champion's heart is as sharp as a new blade” SO CRAZY I GOT THIS SICK ASS ARMOUR. TRY ME. #I'm actually in physical pain over this. Wyll my love. #I need to rip ulder in two with my bare hands right now. #sorry I JUST saw the breakup scene for the first time today and I haven't stopped thinking about it it's making me ill with sadness #he didn't even break up with ME but it fucking feels like it goddamn #bg3 #Wyll Ravengard #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 analysis #oh my GOD and the fact that he offers one last dance. I'mgoing to ufckingexplode #and he spends five whole seconds just. holding the character. not even dancing. #I watched the version with him and astarion ofc I don't romance wyll myself (lesbianism) #makes me wanna write a fucking fic (derogatory) #why the fuck is everyone so ill over astarion when mr insane mental health issues is RIGHT here (i know why. but still)

[bisexualamy]

.

#it actually makes me sick like physically ill how much praise is heaped onto goyishe american leftists #people who could not point to gaza on a map six months ago. whose knowledge of middle east history comes from outdated textbooks and twitte #for being anti imperial activists and well educated anti imperialists with all the right buzzwords and all the right opinions #meanwhile nothing i say will ever be good enough bc i'm jewish and palestinians are tokenized by people who care more about appearing #like someone who Listens to Palestinians as opposed to 1) doing anything material to help them (like donating money) #and 2) not spreading obvious misinformation. something that does material damage to the cause of liberation #AND further fuels the most insidious of zionist propaganda which relies on the antisemitism of ignorant western goys #this propaganda banks on their antisemitism bc it's that fucking reliable #every white western goy that harasses jews or spreads misinfo about jews or is straight up just racist towards random israeli immigrants #ppl living in the west like running coffee shops that are now having their windows smashed bc that what? supports palestinian liberation? #makes it that much easier for actual zionist propagandists to say 'see. this was never about imperialism. they want an excuse to harm you.' #'you are only safe with us' #i grew up in a cauldron of this kind of propaganda and i was playing on hard mode i got it from the orthodox #it took years of dutiful unlearning. of wrestling with some really difficult realities. of realizing that i'd been not only lied to #but information had been deliberately kept from me to keep me from knowing the true depths of the horror happening in gaza #i did not get the luxury of starting to care about this six months ago during a concerted effort to correct the record #i had to put in the effort to unlearn two decades of propaganda given to me so young i don't remember a time when i didn't know it #and i am by far not the only jew with this experience #i have put in way more effort to care about this than every white western goy with a megaphone posting palestinian flags on IG #but none of that matters bc i am a jew and for the last 5000+ years we don't get to decide how we're discussed or how we're remembered #never mind how many jewish voices (and yes! even israeli voices!) have been supporting liberation efforts in palestine for years. #who've done an amazing job reaching more people who need help seeing through the propaganda they were raised on #i can only be a token who speaks only in protest chants or i can be an evil zionist. the anti imperial work doesn't matter. #bc anti imperial work is hard and none of them actually want to do it they just want the protest photos #anyway this is why i don't discuss this on the piss on the poor website. tbh i don't trust y'all

[chiffonghost]

baeksoo 💫 realizing you are the light i’ve been searching for.

#baeksoo #baekdo #baekhyun #kyungsoo #exo fanart #exo #kpop fanart #digital art #if u saw this earlier no u didn’t 😭 #I’m reposting this bc i did the unforgivable (forget to draw ks’s moles!!! how could i) #anyways hello yes i am still sick in the head abt baeksoo #i am also physically sick w miss rona #but abt the draw: this was inspired by the let me in teaser images!! #the caption is from ks’s teaser image caption it was just TOO baeksoo i could Not ignore it #& so this happened #kinda looks wonky bc honestly i drew 2/3 of this lying down on my side in bed (i got tired) #also i draw hands like an AI image generator i know im trying my best 😭 #actually took a pic of myself holding my own face to get a close enough reference lmao #ANYWHOOOO i miss baeksoo & exo so much 🥹

[arolesbianism]

I hand you a doodle and then go back to dying of the plague

#keese draws #oc art #oc #ocs #furry #furry art #furry oc #Im sick 😔 #I can tell because all my joints are hurting instead of just my knees lol #which actually is strange since usually when Im sick the first sign is my nose being super duper runny #but I can actually breath just fine if not better than usual rn wow #but yeah say hi to antinio theyre a design I got a couple months ago I think #theyre a part of a new ish story I made around the same time that surrounds the other escaped patients of the facility pent escaped from #pent didnt actually go with them tho partially because none of them like her and she doesnt like any of them but mostly because shes more #physically unstable than the others and needs regular goop recharges that kept her camping near the facility until bud and daisy dropped in #but yeah everyone else left together and spent some time wandering before getting lured into the origin place of the goop #this guy is actually quite the unique case among the bunch because they were originally an ocean dweller before they were revived #this basically means they only half understand what everyone else is saying and can't actually talk themself #and also that despite not needing to breath they constantly feel like theyre suffocating and they are generally pretty bitter abt all this #they cant rly go home partially because theyve been dead for too long and mostly because theyd kind of just fall apart in the ocean #even just washing their hands causes their fur and skin to get all slimy #hey they at least have a new bestie even if said bestie is also part of the only half understands everyone party meaning they even less #know how to communicate with eachother since they both speak different languages from eachother #but hey now they can be confused abt whatever the hell applebounce is yelling abt together

[gregmarriage]

me as a kid being like ‘i wanna stay home all day and do whatever i want!’ and adult me being chronically ill, disabled and bed ridden ✌🏻

#like be careful what you wish for kid #sisters to me at 2020 new year’s being all ‘i just want something interesting to happen!!’ #i think you can see where this is going #like yeah something ‘interesting’ did happen #a global pandemic happened and you got really sick and hospitalised multiple times #more times than you ever have in your life #august isn’t just my birthday month anymore #it’s also the anniversary of being getting hospitalised for the first time and all the horrible shit starting up #which is fun #like i’m turning 25 this year and then like 3 days later: trauma time!!! #it’s been four years this year #actually quite sickening #four years ago i was physically healthy #this shit really does just come out of nowhere sometimes and completely changes your life and you just have to deal with it #because you can’t change it no matter how much you might wish for it #all the people thinking they’d never get disabled #neither did i #no one expects to be 21 and stuck in a hospital bed #i’ve blacked out most of that time #like i genuinely don’t remember most of my 20s #even the non traumatic stuff #my brain just decided to get rid of it #and i can’t tell if my personality is bred from trauma or just bc i’m in my 20s now #it’s so hard to work out #bc i’m unsure if ppl who knew me before would even recognise me #have i changed or am completely the same? #i suppose being recently manic has left me questioning a lot of things #i’m basically revisiting a lot of stuff in an attempt to better cope and understand my triggers etc so i can better deal with the next one #honestly my brain has blacked so much out i don’t even remember having manic episodes #even tho i basically know i did

[corntort]

i do like axiom verge so much because for the first few days after watching both games i did have like. earth shattering epiphanies like every single half hour for a while. never had a media do that to me

#the one that hit so hard was the amnesia leitmotif in amashilama's boss fight that recontextualized that WHOLE fight #so much so that i almost got actually physically sick when i pieced that together #rambles #it was like a timed gut punch

[skyberia]

I love your persona 5 comics so so so so so much u really do GET Akechi and Akira and I hope u have an amazing rest of ur day or week or whatever bcuz u deserve it. Tysm for posting ur amazing, thoughtful, interesting art w us!!!!! We’re very lucky!!!

aaaahhhhh thank YOU so much!!!! ;____; it really means a lot that you like them!! i have a lot of thoughts about them that i still would like to share through illustration or comics eventually, your nice words are a great encouragement for me to get to that eventually at some point sometime soon <3

#i'm currently working on a cover for. the physical edition of those two comics actually lmfao but after i'm done w that #i already got a script for smth written. and a general outline for something else. hopefully either of those get done #these ideas are sticking to my brain and making me sick so like they really better get done. i got no other choice

[releaseholiday]

Some people are just

#the only reason he’s ‘allowed’ to take a break is bc he’s so sick he either doesn’t have a voice or physically can’t even move #bc you know if he could still perform he would’ve been on that stage like he was at the latest la show #he was already sick and still had a show #and if people cared about him and not about the money they’ll be getting they would’ve cancelled the rest of the residencies #and given him the rest of the year to rest #he’s not going to get over a flu on a couple of days #the reason he even got it in the first place was most likely bc his immune system is fucked from exhaustion #he’s been working non stop for years #these residencies was the most unnecessary thing ever #literally everyone could see this coming and I’m so mad they still let it happen and instead of giving him time to actually rest #they’re basically saying ‘patch yourself up and go back on stage like the circus monkey that you are oh #and don’t forget you’re still gonna have to do the cancelled shows later bc we can’t let the azoff’s venue lose money #anyway💆🏼‍♀️💆🏼‍♀️💆🏼‍♀️ #I hope he gets better soon and I hope someone finally helps him realize he’s not a product but a human being who doesn’t have to apologize #3 times for something that’s out of his control #hope that therapist clears her schedule from going to his shows🙃🙃🙃

[ozlices]

i have to make appointments & also let my doctor know id rather continue one of the new meds she put me on bc it actually helped but ive been completely unmedicated for 2 fucking days & the thought of doing Anything makes me wanna throw up im so over being a person

#mine #i rly do not have it in me to make appointments dawg i have medical trauma can i get used to one new doctor #before im tossed around like a gd hot potato to numerous others. i literally attend my appointments w my cane #what's not clicking abt me having VERY fucking low energy in the aftermath of sm straining stress bruh #but like i dont have a choice bc i could have some of my meds stopped if i dont see certain doctors & im just here like 🫠 #i feel somewhat stupid like damn i rly thought finally i had a chill doctor w common sense but no i still gotta fight for my gd life #just be given say over MY OWN GODDAMN WELLBEING #'oh well this causes physical health concerns' to be completely blunt idfc anymore. #truly i fucking do not #my body is a fucking nightmare my entire system resents at this point bc we always have some lvl of bs going on w it #we've no choice but to stop fucking caring bc the numerous mental strains we're dealing w worsen them ON THEIR OWN #& also like literally fuck off bc my body wouldn't be this shit if doctors actually TOOK CARE OF ME PROPERLY #before it got this bad. #there's no fucking fixing shit now by worsening my already overwhelmed & strained body/mind by making me a gd hot potato #if im not Actively Perishing or on the immediate brink of the risk IDC #I NEED TO FUCKING BE ALLOWED TO //CHILL THE EVER LOVING FUCK OUT// #//that// SHOULD BE THE PRIORITU #ive been strained for YEARS but esp since last year to a CONSTANT degree #can i fucking get one GODDAMN foot on the ground to pick myself back up jfc #im so tired & annoyed & sick of there always being SOMETHING #i just wanna fucking chill & finish my preps to stream again & get back to pursuing what i love please #im gonna LOSE MY MIND

[skhardwarevers1]

sorry for saying I was going to do things and even starting them and then disappearing from this website entirely for three days. It will happen again

#Nothing new. Tbf I’ve done this a lot #I would say I’m focusing more on school and my personal writing but that’s more of a fucking lie than full truth #I genuinely have felt sick to my stomach posting here for whatever reason #Guilt shame anxiety paranoia etc etc you get the point. I feel like shit with no valid reason as to why #So for now I’m going to stop doing the thing that makes me overly emotionally sick to the point I have actual physical reactions???? #Yeah that’s the logical course of action. Might post small personal anecdotes and doodles and such to give off the vague energy that Im fin #But beyond that I quite literally can’t. I sat down and thought about writing this post and immediately broke down #I don’t know why I feel guilty over having inconsistent motivation for putting up shitty writing on a website for strangers to see #But I do and k think the only good way to get past that is this. Gotta stop acting Impulsively it’s ruining my fucking life man #There’s only one other thing that I’ll thank Eloise for #and it’s for getting me off of tumblr long enough to realize that I desperately need to get help #This is fucked I fucking hate it. I might be online if k can bare the possibility that people can see this #Namely people I’ve grown attached to in concept #Idfc at this point. it doesn’t change much about how things have been going for the past year #Vent #S.K explains that things never really got better they would just suck less for short periods of time

[mosspapi]

I wanna get up and do things. I have so many things I Need to do. But I can't fuckin do it I'm too goddamn tired. I can't stand it here dude it's unreal

#I thought my fatigue was bad before I got sick but this is next level #like. I need to find a way to set up my computer and tablet in bed just so I can do homework levels of bad #armchair speaks #actually disabled #physically disabled

[astridthevalkyrie]

idk how one minute i’m like “my throat hurts I feel sick” and then in two minutes my mother is trying to force my mouth open to spray medicine down my throat and smacking my arm hard when I don’t open my mouth, like I do not get the instinct to hurt someone when they are sick I don’t understand at all.

#is being taken care of when one is sick actually a thing or just a myth #like do parents actually stroke your hair and feed you soup #because as far back as I can remember I just got yelled at for not liking medicine (as a kid) and I started making my own soup #and mind you I’m too old ig to be taken care of now #maybe it’s just the inner child that needs to heal #at this point idk if I could physically handle someone taking care of me I think it would make me nauseous

[galwaygremlin]

so adult er/trauma doctors are ALL bad with kids, that wasn't just my dad???

#heavens to fucking betsy y'all #had a doc bring his kid in to get stitches (kid fell) and i was like Ah Ok I Have Been This Child #my dad used to just have my mom bring me or my sister to his hospital (that did not have a pedi department) if we got hurt or sick #child is understandably distraught #doc is telling kid 'you have to be quiet' and 'it's not that bad' instead of ANYTHING ACTUALLY HELPFUL #i go over there and get the kid to talk to me; calm him down a little #doc is looking at me like i'm stupid and in his way (i am neither) #doc asks me for supplies so i step back and kid immediately starts freaking out again #doc is once again completely not helping the crying situation #he did place the stitches though. kid's gonna be fine physically #but oh boy. i recognize the dad-kid relationship that i saw today #future spells problems for them #houston we have a problem