#like at the end of the day i just dont want to lose them as a friend | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

michaeljoncarter · 2 years

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not to be dramatic but sodam yat is probably the single most infuriating waste of a character ive ever seen. the concept of him alone is so good it makes me want to SCREAM like!!! he is kyle! he’s a mirrored version of kyle where absolutely everything is flipped on its head

instead of being the only lantern left after the destruction of the corps and rising to become basically its god, sodam starts off at the highest point, as ion at the height of the rebuilt corps, and he’s destined to see it destroyed until he’s the only lantern left! his story is just kyle’s played in reverse! kyle as a tragedy!

and it started almost a decade before kyle was even created! sodam joined the corps in 2007, but the prophecy stating he would be the last green lantern to be killed before mogo when the corps finally falls for good is from an annual released in 1986! by the time his story started, it had already ended in his death and failure to save the corps over twenty years before!!

he’s one of the best tragic heroes i’ve ever seen in a comic book like EVERYTHING he does just drips with dramatic irony, and it is so good!! everything about him is SO GOOD!!

and if i think too much about the fact that he’s only interacted with kyle like twice, has barely shown up since like 2011, and has now given up being a green lantern to go be a government official on the violently xenophobic, totalitarian planet that he spent his entire life trying to escape, it makes me want to start biting people!!

#sodam yat #kyle rayner #this post is messy but im in 2006 glc again and having thoughts #reading this knowing they made him go back to daxam makes me want to lose it for real lol #like he sacrificed himself to save daxam when he was ion but #there's a difference in not wanting everyone on the planet to die and #taking a job in the senate #he had to be talked into not just letting everyone on daxam die like thats how much he hated them #and now he just. goes into work every day with people who ordered the murder and TAXIDERMY of his childhood friend #like im sry but i just dont see how running around in those caves with those people in emerald warrior swouldve changed his mind THAT much #god anyway #madness!!#also had to hold myself back from going off on a whole thing about how #weirdly unique his tragedy is?#like it's really not like any ive ever seen before and i dont think it could happen in any other medium than comics #bc its really kind of chained to the never-ending nature of the story #i cant really put it into words but ANYWAY #also just have to say #that part where he says he doesnt want to hear about the prophecy because he left daxam to get away from superstition and the like #haunts my dreams actually lol like idk if it was intentional #but the fact that he was chosen by the ring FOR his bravery in trying to escape daxam #like a big important part of his predetermined destiny was that he would make a desperate attempt to get away from fatalism #god!!!#the capital t Tragedy of it all is SO GOOD

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rosykims · 1 year

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what if. hypothetically. i didnt sacrifice the chargers in demands of the qun :(

#k im abt to go on a huge tag rant sorry #tay plays dai #oc: ashara #THIS HAS BEEN ASHARAS CANON FOR SOOOOO LONGGGGGG #BUT I HATE IT #and the more i think about the more im like GOD.#the thing abt that choice is that ill die on the hill that it can be ethical even if the game wants it to be taken as the cruel choice #ashara saves the dreadnought bc she theorizes there are more people on the ship. and she would be actively betraying them if she didnt help #SHE made a deal and she holds true to her deals.#the people in the dreadnought are someones friends and family and lovers like...... they dont mean any less than the chargers do #and also just like.... she respects the qun in theory and has an interest in it altho shes not like. a fan lol. and she wont force bull #into betraying his people and losing his culture over her own weakness yknow. bc she knows he'll be tal vashoth and hunted #and she wants to protect him from that #and it turns out misguided obviously by the end of tresspasser #hhhhhhh #i also think the idea of her being betrayed by blackwall solas AND iron bull is a good foundation for her losing all trust in everything #post tresspasser #BUT. IDK.#I HATE THE IDEA THAT SHE WOULD SACRIFICE HER PEOPLE. BC FUCK THAT NO SHE WOULDNT !!!#she can be ruthless but to her ENEMIES !!! never intentionally to the people shes in charge of protecting !!!#and i dont like the parallel that reinforces to solas yknow. his snide 'what abt ur friend the iron bull' line makes me see red JFGKJFGKJFG #idk #this is so difficult. mostly its the solas thing tho he does NOT deserve that W to hold over her yknow :(

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lesbiradshaw · 2 years

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#just fell to my knees thinking about how mirrorball is such a steve song #like oh god thats my babys baby thats how he feels #something about the lyric ‘ive never been a natural all i do is try try try’#steve always getting up just like sarah taught him OH GODDDDD ‘i can do this all day’#him facing thanos’ army alone arm half torn off ….#and when i break its in a million pieces 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#shaking sobbing oh god stevie come here #‘im still trying everything to get you laughing at me’ yeah thats so cw stevebucky #w steve bringing up rockaway beach right before they went into the siberia battle #HE JUST WANTED TO KNOW BUCKY HAD HAPPY MEMORIES OF THEM #JUST WANTED TO MAKE HIM SMILE #im still trying everything to keep you looking at me …#‘please dont make me do this’ THE TWS BATTLE AND STEVE BEGGING BUCKY TO REMEMBER SO HE WOULDNT HAVE TO FIGHT HIM #him giving up in the end when the only thing left to lose was himself #STEVEEEEEEEEE #steve my little mirrorball boy ….

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possiblytracker · 2 years

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ok so this field course has been great so far and i'm learning a lot on the technical side of things but it is also very much reminding me how absolutely fundamentally broken and useless my basic social skills are. i can't even feel like an integrated part of a group im forced to spend every waking second of my day with, and even the one person i came here already friends with talks with the others more than me lmao. i barely feel like i'm contributing bc nobody even seems to notice i'm there when im not actively talking, and the amount of times my ideas have been shot down or conversations have continued without me is making me just want to stop trying

#i dont want to bother anyone specific by dumping all this in dms or whatever so. bwugh #vent /#idk i just!!!! why bother. im making an effort im Telling them i want to participate more but i end up left on the fringes #im on video editing duty today and they keep just telling me to work on that but i dont even have anything to put in the damn viDEO #but sure ill just conjure something out of nothing while you guys do all the important shit #theres 3 of them on one task and one of me. and if i get peer-reviewed as low participation and get marked down i will lose it.#idk. feeling left out and incompetent hours <3 #on wednesday i get to go off and do stuff with one person instead of 3 and at least then theyll be stuck with me #and i wont get left in the dust #but man. the fact that it has to come to that for me to feel like im doing anything for these people.#idk. lonely hours. i want to be able to do stuff with people i actually like but even online chatting feels like its not as helpful rn #other people are doing stuff without me and ik its bc im busy and Cant be around but like. man #i wouldnt want to STOP anyone but it feels bad hearing abt it from my end ghjvfdv #sometimes i wish i didnt have such a problem with talking abt my feelings to people but i dont want to be a killjoy or whatever #idk. its hard. only 3 more full days after this one tho

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the-yearning-astronaut · 2 years

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Currently shoving down a growing panic attack. I'm still not done. I'm tired. I want to stop but I can't because I don't have nearly enough finished to be able to hope of passing this class and I really really want to graduate. My grade is sitting in a shitty place rn and I just

#fuck i just want to graduate 😭#i want to be done #im feeling really fucking stupid rn because this was supposedly a 2hr test that he decided he'd give us 2 days on??#it took me two hours just to figure out what i was being asked to do ffs #stupid stupid stupid brain #i will fucking lose it if I cant pass this class and my other one #three full years of school #all but one semester was spent through covid bullshit #im on my last fucking semester and these LAST FUCKING CLASSES #are all that are between me and having the degree ive wanted for over a decade now #and i dont have the money to go back and retake these classes if i dont pass them #which means three fucking years of busting my ass off just to be fucked over at the very VERY end of the entire thing #im gonna be sick #I fucking told my advisor and everyone else I reached out to that i was struggling and i felt like i wasnt going to pull through #and I got all the fucking bullshit comments like You'll Do Great! I Believe in You! If You Need Anything At All We're Here For You!#except they fucking weren't #nobody actually gives a fucking shit if what you need requires a bit of extra work on their part #fuck them fuck this fuck it all #*deep breath*#*closes eyes*#wish i could recite the numbers of the golden ratio *laughsobs*#ok back to work i guess #fox thoughts #fox's college adventures #tbd

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fmhobeus · 1 month

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so, nerdy loser college boy choso *sighs* *opens legs*

a/n: just so you know, this man is gonna make you do all the hard work for a piece of that loser boy dick 😮‍💨 so... um so at some point around 2000 words in i realised this is way more than a hc post :3 eat it up if you will!

nerdy!choso who borderline has no friends except his gaming buddies who doesnt meet irl like ever. he doesnt like going to classes, especially this one. he doesnt need it but it's a requirement for all first years. and boy is glad it is when he sees you come in.

nerdy!choso who only listens to discussions when you're talking. suddenly he needs to put down his headphones and nod at every word you're saying. his eyes follow every gesture of your hand, every sway of your ass, every single time you fix your hair.

nerdy!choso who is starting to get a bit enamored with you, your style, your way of speaking. he loses track of time gawking at you in class from the last benches as you prettily do all the work in the class. he hates how beautifully your hair falls on your face, how nicely your clothes fit you despite being pretty modest for college. he hates how he can see the silhouette of your tits when you turn to the side. but he's too much of a gentleman to keep looking.

nerdy!choso who ends a game early when he remembers you, lying and saying that he had promised someone to meet them somewhere. the place is his bathroom and the person was you. god, you really shouldn't wear those tight jeans to class y'know? how will he continue to be a gentleman if you do?

nerdy!choso who despises groupwork but prays to dear god this class has some reason to pair you two together. he's getting so desperate to talk to you knowing damn well he too pussy to do it on his own. and the lord answers his prayers, the teacher assigns groups of three for a presentation. it's you, him and some slacking trust fund baby.

nerdy!choso who is about to combust and have a full blown panic attack when he sees you approach him after class with that smile on your face that would make the angels swoon. you're going on about distributing the work equally and what not while he is trying his fucking hardest to not accidently make eye contact with you and piss his pants : (

nerdy!choso who now has your name, your number and your email and he feels like the happiest man on earth. his hands are literally shaking as he responds to your request to call. he's overthinking every word he types.

choso: yeah i can do wednesday. choso: i'll be okay with whatever day you want.

nerdy!choso who hops on video call and short circuits with a view of you in an oversized band tee and a brief view of your room. why did you have to be this pretty? why did you have to video call him when you couldve done the work on text? why did you have to put your hair up like that? why oh why did you have you say "choso? hey, you there?" so seductively to bring him back to the present?

nerdy!choso who gets like no work done in a 30 minute call which felt like three hours. he knew he would hardly be paying attention so decided to record the call with your consent, saying he'd need the notes you were typing out on screen only to play it back and stroke his dick to you for what might've have been the twentieth time this week. his strokes only getting faster as you say his name in that voice he imagines sounds way better moaning and screaming it instead.

nerdy!choso who, after the presentation, is on greeting terms with you when he sees you studying in the library. he sits as far away from you as he can while still being able to see you. occupying the coziest corner of the library to stare at you study right when you come up to him.

"can i join you, choso? i'm all alone and your space seems comfy" you say with a smile, "of course, i dont mean to disturb you, is saw you were on your own too, so..."

uh oh, uh oh, uh oh. god no. please no. please dont say yes. please dont be staring at her like some dumb idiot (too late) please.

"uh... yeah sure why not?" he awkwardly says as he makes room for you to keep your things. he was such an idiot for thinking he could say no to your pretty face in the first place.

nerdy!choso who is absolutely drunk on your scent. it feels way better than any alcohol he's ever had. he feels like an animal in heat when he smells your sugary perfume mixed with the styrofoam-y air conditioned smell of the library. you're gonna kill him, yknow? how is he supposed to respond to this? what is one to do when their stupid college crush sits next to them? he gives you a half smile before furiously typing away on reddit, the only place with answers for losers like him.

nerdy!choso whose hands. oh his hands. (can be i a big whore for a second?) his long hands that feel like they're the size of your face. his kempt, beautiful and trimmed nails. his lengthy fingers that seem to yearn for something more to foddle with than just the keyboard or controller. he typed as such an insane pace it made your pussy ache. he was going so fast, jesus. those hands were meant to do more than just ask "how to talk to girls" on reddit.

nerdy!choso who (on the advice of reddit) asks if you would want him to order something for you. you tell you had a frappuccino not too long ago and that it was quite sweet and filling. and he hates himself for thinking that he could give you something much sweeter and filling than that like a horny fourteen year old.

nerdy!choso who is now determined to not come off as a creep so he does his work with the focus of four adderalls. he is typing as fast as his heartbeat, not realising he got two classes worth of work done in just an hour. he looks over at you, blissfully unaware of the absolute war in his mind.

nerdy!choso who feels as though if he doesn't muster up the courage to ask you out right then and there, he'll probably be the biggest loser on the planet. (as if he wasn't already)

nerdy! pathetic! choso who stutters a million times and barely gets the job done then too. his eyes are scanning your entire being (trying his best to not gawk at your tits) for any sign of discomfort.

"so- uhh so ummm... wo-would you, like, uh... like to do this again? sometime?... i got a.. a lot of work done today, so.."

oh heavens, the sheer nervousness in his tone makes you want to pull his pants down and show him how to really get work done.

you agree with a smile, even suggesting a better, more ambient (more romantic) cafe to study in. choso's heart is about to burst and flood the fucking library with his blood the way it is beating at an alarming rate.

"umm yeah uh 5 sounds... awesome... i hope it isn't a-a bother to you?" "no way, choso. i loved today," you offer him a smile as you gather your things, "i really like your hair, by the way" "i like your hair too, y-y-you smell very nice", he gulps.

fuck. why did he say that? what? you smell nice? who says that? is he like ten? you can't help but giggle at the sheer embarassment on his face.

he feels as though he's gonna melt into a puddle and turn to stone and throw up all at the same time.

nerdy!choso who is the most stupidly hot guy you've ever met, you think as you go giggling back to your dorm. mental note: pick a skimpy outfit for 5pm ;)

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blkjackalz · 6 months

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#day rants #ignore me im venting in tags again lol #take the bunny photo as an apology and go onwards #just rlly loving how my period is adding to my loneliness #like i just want to be held rn and my brain is in the hormonal mood to fill in blanks with my current crush and- bleh #my brain loves entering the fantasy land where i'm happily living with someone and able to express affection / emotions in a normal way #and if my crush knew that theyre my crush idk what they would do or if things would still be the same...#like at the end of the day i just dont want to lose them as a friend #regardless of my stupid emotions and stuff... and my cursed period #brain and period r not helping xoxo #tldr: hurt and desperate to be held/loved... what a burden #its hard to get someone out of your head

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satansappendix · 9 months

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Oh my god

#how to explain to mt neurotypical and abled sister that at the end of the day i dont have the mental energy to answer questions #like none #i have had a very long day of waking up early which (my intenstines make very clear is bad) and then being incredibly stressed at work #cause our fucking cash machine that handles all the cash in the store is broken and i have to balance the store and somehow fix thefuckedne #during which i didnt get time to eat anything till i got home at 2 (i wrnt in at 7 am)#then i get home and have an anxiety attack about my cat who has bladder problems and who could be obstructed again #cause we are rearranging our house for construction and he doesnt have his normal food to help reduce the likely hood #and then my mom is asking me to rearrange the furniture to make room for the window replacements tomorrow #i literally have no more mental capacity to make any decisions or wnswer anymote questions #it is just too hard to think about if im going to the beach with them on Friday #im overwhelmed and like anymore decisions or input is too much even like well meaning input #hhhhhhh #and i like dont have the ability explain this with worss cause when im overstimulated or having an attack i lose my ability to use my words #and i dtutter a dhit ton and it just stops being worth it to communicate that way #so no i want to sleep #also the way my mom is like its fine to be concerned about Lageos but you shouldnt 'let it ruin your ehole day' as if i have control over it #and dont have an unmedicated anxiety disorder and i cant just stop feeling emotikns also im autistic so like thats literally not an option #i litrrqlly cant stop being ancious about it no matter how much i understand it makes no snese

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alxclaremont · 11 months

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i am going to go insane me thinks.

#i. there are no words #when will i stop getting treated like the absolute last choice. when. literally when.#either im not invited place’s because i dont have money or because i dont have a car or because its a bit of a drive to get to where i live #and no one ever wants to make that drive #all of which. are very much not my fault as its not like i asked to be in the current situation i am in and though i completely understand #why no one would want to ask me to do things because of those reason’s it’s still not Fair #or i am just blatantly ignored and i tell myself that they’re just busy but then they post screenshots of them having funny conversations #on their close friends when i texted them multiple times days ago #or i tell myself that they just forgot to ask me and oh dont worry its really completely fine #ans then theres the old ‘we need to find you a boyfriend’ response #like. why is that always the response to whatever we end up talking about #i am going to lose my mind <3 #will i ever stop feeling or be treated like the last option or problem?#probably not but stay tuned #its at times like this when i would looooove to just leave and never talk to anyone ever again #the only problem with that plan is that there are too many people that think i wont make it in life #so obviously i have to do it out of spite #this is why i haven’t been talking to anyone since school ended el em ay o #anyway. whatever i guess #lacey talks

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bigendershadowthehedghog · 1 year

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so anyone else feel like a ticking time bomb recently or is that just me

#not in like im going to lash out way #but in a everything bad keeps happening to my friends way and i cant do anything #so even though all i do is nothing all day always Im still stressed out #because im like. idk if paranoia is the right word here?? but paranoid that something bad is going to happen to them #and i cant do anything about it #and ive lost all of my ability to comfort people anymore #so now even if im resting im not fucking resting!!!! because im about to throw up from stress constantly #even though nothing is happening to me for me to feel like this #so it feels like im doomed to lose it but I cant lose it because im meant to be holding it together #so im just in fucking purgatory of feeling like the world is ending around me while also just. sitting there.#and people can tell #and the thing is i feel like if i cant provide good enough comfort for them #then theyll leave #so i keep on trying to comfort them when i dont know how #and everytime i have to explain that i cant provide much comfort i want to rip the organs from my stomach #because i know they deserve so much better than me in terms of comfort #but if i tell them they cant tell me about their issues thatll just seem like i dont care #when really the issue is i care too much and hearing them even get slightly upset makes me freak out for like. WEEKS.#even if the issue gets solved/is solved #so its not like i dont want to hear about bad things that happen to them because i dont care #its just that even hearing about it makes me stressed enough #that i can barely get out of bed some days #or bring myself to do basic tasks #or do anything ill enjoy #all because they were upset about something #and ive tried everything except drugs and believe me. none of them have worked and i have not stopped being stressed #and i know its not like i can do substances because. im genetically prone to addiction from both sides #and if i did do that and my mom found out. she already kicked my sister out over dealing drugs. i think she would kill me on the spot #plus i could mess up my body badly and its already messed up and painful to live in enough i dont need more of that thanks #so yeah not having fun here tonight

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flawless-peach · 2 months

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activities to improve your life

(in no way do you have to do these or all of them in order to improve, these ade just little things to do to help you feel good about yourself <3)

- go on walks outside, or just get outside in someway. in the summers my boyfriend and I would walk a couple blocks to get a snowcone. now that's its spring I walk to the gas station near by to pick up energy drink for my boyfriend (spring semester)

- wake up earlier, now this one is important to me because I am a huge morning person and so is everyone in my family. but some people aren't naturally morning people. so dont feel like im saying wake up at 5am. I more mean wake up with enough time to enjoy your morning and look forward to the day, you don't want to rush to get ready

- drink an appropriate amount of water, I personally aim for about 60oz now, which I don't hot everyday, but when I first started trying to drink more water I started out with 20oz because I just wasn't drinking water. so don't push yourself because you'll only hate the water rather than appreciate what it can do for you

- journal every day. I normally don't journal about my day until the next morning as I reflect on the previous day, because I don't want the day to "end" before it's actually over. but I try to write reviews about episodes of the shows i like or take notes over my audiobooks and try to think about why I like/dislike them. I find that this helps me so that whenever I start getting emotionally overwhelmed to slow down and put into words what's wrong rather than just being overwhelmed

- working out to feel good rather than look good. I've had a terrible relationship with my body most of my life and so by working out to feel good i have different goals and schedules i followed than when I was trying to lose weight, and it's helping like my body even if it's not changing how it looks. I try to exercise at least 3 days a week, but if I don't feel good enough to i don't force myself (the walks outside are exercise too, so thats also helping me feel good even if I eat a snowcone immediately afterwards ^^)

- positive affirmations. I really struggle with this one, but I have a widget on my phone that rotates through different ones and im liking the ones that are good and at the end of the week in my journal I wrote them all out.

- look for long lasting happiness over short term happiness. this one is a lot harder i just wanted to add it on the end because sometimes I put off doing something I know will make me happy in the end because of short term gratification. I normally feal with this by letting them merge if I can (so like everything shower tiktoks while I get ready for my shower)

#motivation #aesthetic #clean girl #routine #vanilla girl #photo collection #peachy days #glow up #it girl #that girl

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