#let’s try next year maybe

[falloutboyyaoi]

so many bands in one place,,, maybe dan and phil will come on stage with the pride flag

#trying to convince our mom to go #do you think she’ll let a 17 year old go to a festival in vegas? #i mean… #we were planning to go next summer newayz… #maybe we can delay that a bit… #she loves mcr more than we do #i think it’s dooable

[themanwhowouldbefruit]

my doctor was sooooo fucking worthless and unhelpful im going to masturbate and i hope it fucking kills me

#“no need for follow up” #“yeah you did have several cysts we scrapped off your remaining ovary but. dw about it. idk why they were there. dw about it. oh also your #ovary on that side was freakishly huge but. dw about it. it might go away. dw about it #*doctor shrug emoji* “ #“go see a gyno next year maybe. but not me im too important for that. go find and onboard a gyno to your situation. next year maybe idk lol” #he barely even looked at my incision like #this fucking appointment could have been an email. or a phone call. or they just could have let me start driving again. also i forgot to ask #if i can stop drinking ensure now or after the 6 weeks? cause that shit cost $$$$. but he probably would have been super unhelpful if i had #fr fr this guy only wanted to give me the time of day when he thought i might have fun cancer inside and now he's like gtfo!!!! get your #fugly cancerless ass out of here!!!! recover from a major surgery on your own you swagless cancerless loser 🤣 we arent helping your #swagless ass!!! #anyway it seems weird and fucked up that im was never offered to see a physical therapist and i guess am going to have to blindly trust my #abs they sliced thru are healing or whatever and to rawdog my own physical recovery of my muscles? even just dumb shit like. my center of #gravity has drastically changed since the mass removal and my back hurts like shit all the time because all my posture muscles were built up #for when i had an extra 30 pounds of cyst hanging in the front and my posture and walking reflected that. and i lowkey don't know how #hard i am able to be with my healing incision because its really tight and makes me hunch forwards still. like i would really like to know #how much i can safely or maybe should be forcing my skin and incision to stretch. without damage? is that crazy #am i crazy??? #this shit is why i didnt see a doctor for 2 years until my problems had snowballed into a 30 pounds ovarian cyst that was crushing my other #organs and had one of my kidneys all backed up with piss. and even getting emergency treatment for it everyone was like. how did you like it #get this bad?? how could you not know you needed to seek medical treatment???? like. bro. seeking medical treatment isnt even a guarantee to #get medical treatment. #anyway he said my “remaining ovary seemed low key polycystic but dw about it. don't quote me on that im not dealing with it.” #bro i dont want to doctor google it i wanted an actual doctor to deal with it. fuck you. #like. maybe even a doctor who knows my situation so i dont have to struggle with getting someone to believe me and take me seriously. #but whatever. back to trying to figure out the daily protein and extra calories my body needs for recovery via doctor google i guess. #its fine 🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬

[wundrousarts]

At the end of the year I said I’d allow myself at least one day a week to draw Nevermoor stuff, because I have too much energy and love in my brain / heart / hands that I need to get out, and then proceeded to not process that the new year had started until today. Three weeks in 😅

#a sort of ‘fanart friday’ type vibe just. sporadically. and random. lol. #and maybe not even on friday! #the idea is that if I ‘let myself’ draw nevermoor stuff once a week even if it’s just doodles then I’ll be able to draw other stuff more lol #I’ll try to get to smthn today. just in my defense I have a job now for once (snooze) and other nevermoor things I’m working on (yay) #I’ve got a late straggler from mogtober I’ve been trying not to abandon + nevermoor silverborn countdown challenge #and then next month I’ve got smthn I’ve been planning for nevermoorian new years. yayyy. #also sorry to the christmas themed request I didn’t get to once again 🫶 next year will be your year

[thirstworldproblemss]

Well... uh... hi.

#ahahahahaha.... #don't mind me... just returning from my 'short' hiatus like 6 months later #and honestly idk how much i'll be around even still #i'm still trying to find a rhythm that will let me squeeze all the things i need to do into a day #(nevermind having any free time ever for fandom things) #twp is a hot mess #(i mean... as usual) #but at least the days of pulling 14-18 hour days of volunteer work for weeks on end are over... until next year ^^' #twp sneak speaks #twp speaks #twp bitches about real life #twp returns from hiatus #...maybe? #idk how long or how much i'm going to be around this time #(between the end of the school year and some health issues i may be right back out again) #but i wanted to at least pop back in and say hi / see what's happening #i've missed fandom and all of you out there in it! i hope you're all well and continue to be so and i hope to be back again for real soon! #p.s. i still haven't seen mando s3 (blacklisted the tag; don't spoil me please!) or tlou (spoiled to hell and back so no worries)

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: January 11

"It's Still Rock and Roll to Me" by Billy Joel

#song of the day #so late today. the sun'll be up pretty soon #I was very busy watching Duncan play Spyro and letting my brain thump around on spin cycle #I haven't written anything worth looking twice at since i was so sick in December and it's been worrying me a bit #but if my full day's preoccupation is anything to judge by I will be writing again quite soon #just in time too I did see Del tagged me in a WIP Wednesday. maybe by next Wednesday I will have progressed a work to share #anyway this is today's song because I'm trying to make sure I remember to get a copy of it #it played on the radio and Duncan and Lily and I all got to sing along (always so good to sing with my siblings) #and there were plenty of songs we sang all together (lots of Adele. good shit) but this one I don't have and I really enjoy singing #and every now and then (especially around the family) it plays and I think 'oh shit! I still need to get a copy of that onto my computer!' #and so far I've forgotten every time #but this time I'm making a particular note! I will remember it! if not this weekend then at the very very latest at the end of this year #when I make a big playlist of all the Songs of the Day and I hit Jan 11th and my search pulls up empty and I curse myself for a fool again #dear future-Alexis: you are welcome for the reminder!

[quarantineddreamer]

here i go ignoring the list on the ask meme and just winging it: B! i LOVE how you paint a picture of a scene. like the way your writing comes together, from your word and sentence choices, to your descriptions, to your journeys inside the characters' thoughts and feelings, really just has this way of coalescing into a beautiful whole, one that's reflective of the characters you're writing about but is also uniquely you. i love your work 💕 and it's also been so special to get to know you and also go on writing sprints, so not only is your work a delight, you, specifically, are a delight as a creative collaborator and cheerleader!

Caitlin I don't know how to respond to this because you just listed so many things I love about your works and to hear that from you just has me like:

Thank you so much, friend--here's to more movie nights, more sprinting, and all the fun and chaos that goes with it! 💕

Send me a writers valentine 💌

#ask b anything #writer asks #(this is me trying to get better at receiving compliments guys and let me tell ya: im just over here hiding under my blanket kickin my feet #(maybe next year)

[running-in-the-dark]

help I can't stop thinking about furniture. it's keeping me from thinking about the other way more important things I need to be thinking about (Jenkins, Dan Fielding, etc.)

#I could have just said John Larroquette but. I didn't #but anyway kitchens are expensive furniture is expensive paint is expensive #if we were rich I would be having the best time of my life. I'd love moving to a new place. #I'm having the best time playing with my 3d model of the apartment like it's a doll house #BUT actually buying things in real life is hell and it makes me so sad #god. imagine all the furniture I could assemble if I had money... sigh #trying to think about my guys to fall asleep but the furniture won't let me. ugh. I love furniture so much. #I know we're going to ikea next week and it's so bad how stupidly excited I am about it #ikea was probably my first hyperfixation as a kid and I haven't liked anything else for this long (it's been like. 27 years lol) #I cannot be normal about it #I will get to build shelves. and put things in shelves. organise things. build our wardrobe (for the third time in three years) #whenever we buy the kitchen I'll get to build most of that and then organise it too #I'm soooo excited!! and this time I'm only like... slightly chronically ill! and I won't have two surgeries right after we move (I hope....) #so maybe I'll have enough energy that it won't be awful this time! #anyway #need to sleep it's 6:30 and I'm so tired but my brain won't shut up #also my cat. he is yelling at me. I don't know what he's trying to say but he's very upset apparently #personal

[grahatialiker]

hi everyone I made my first ever charm :) I have to change some things around for my next designs BUT I’m still very excited to show her off!!

#bocchi the rock! #bocchi #hitori gotou #gotou hitori #bocchi the rock #ok personal tag time Lol #I’m really proud of taking the step forward in trying to print my work on stuff!!! #I’m hoping to next work on making an online store/etsy for selling #maybe by the end of the year even #if anyone would be interested please let me knoww 💖 #art tag

[steakout-05]

if i were a splatoon character i would be the most annoying person in a splatfest ever because i would take so fucking long to vote for which thing i side with because my autistic brain loves to weigh every single little factor of an option to make sure it's the absolutely correct one to make in any given scenario.

"mayo or ketchup? hmmm well personally i'm more of a mayonnaise man myself but at the same time ketchup has many qualities that i find to be very pleasing when combined with certain flavours that mayonnaise just doesn't mesh well with. still though i find that i prefer the more eggy savoury taste of mayo compared to ketchup buuut-"

"OH MY GOD YOU'RE CHOOSING A CONDIMENT, NOT DECIDING THE NEXT 10 YEARS OF YOUR LIFE! JUST PICK ONE!!!" lmaooo

#splatoon #splatfest #autism #autistic #my autism grants me with the superhuman power to be the most annoying bitch in the whole world /j #it's so funny though because i could spend close to half an hour trying to weigh out every detail about an option i'm picking because i- #-want to factor in as many things as possible to make an informed decision and the thing i'm picking will be like. bread or toast #weighing your options accurately is a great skill to have but sometimes it's not applicable in every scenario and sometimes i just- #-gotta let it go and say ''fuck it. i pick mayo. mayo goes hard'' y'know. #now that i think about it though maybe picking mayo in the context of splatfests would be the equivalent of deciding the next- #-10 years of my life considering article 4 of splatfest law

[raksh-writes]

Im a pent-up ball of pure stress and restlessness (like chest-tight and heart pounding type of stress) and I have 0 idea what to do with myself, because anytime I want to try and go distract myself with Something my anxiety spikes and my brain goes "!!! NO!!! DANGER!!! LOOK OUT FOR DANGER!!!" so I guess I'll just spend the day pacing the house and refreshing the same 3 pages on repeat, huh...

#personal #Raksh posts #tomorrow I'll know if I got back into uni #so that's the culprit #but I also have no way of assuaging it so fuck me I guess 😩 #and depending on if I do or dont get in #its either gonna be a full on depressed crying or a crazy busy next week #plus so much has been happening all around #I finished my internship last friday #we found out our doggo is sick and we're going with her to a vet cardiologist next friday #my younger cousin Ive always been quite close with came to visit with her boyfriend and announced yesterday they got engaged #my bro today said he's planning to marry next year #Im trying not to let my crippling loneliness take me over #it's kinda a lot when all put together 🙈 #I thought maybe I could finish typing up what I have of my recent vegaspete AU #its a super indulgent time travel a/b/o shifterd thingy with outsider pov - Nops in this first part #and so I could maybe have something to finally post sometime soon and motivate me to write some more #but I can't focus on that #Ive also thought of maybe gaming a bit #Id actually like to check out Cyberpunk with this new 2.0 update #but again it feels like anytime I try to occupy myself with something my brain goes into alarm mode ughhh #this stressing business is so useless and unproductive why isnt there a switch to it I could just flip and turn it off?? #ughhhhh anyway #Im just venting dont mind me #hoped putting it down in some way shape or form would help but will it work? prob not 😂😪 #vent #rant

[highwaydiamonds]

#journaling #art journaling #i've done couple spreads/pages from these affirmation cards i got last year with a set of stickers & planner thing i purchased #they weren't designed for this but i've used a couple of them that way #i feel like this is a very simplified - not exactly sanitized - but not NOT sanitized either version of how i've felt about things lately #there's been rather a lot of 'the suck" but i a working to try and keep my head up #oh - and because of the shiny surface the rectangle in the top left - is an image of hokusai's the great wave #i am so full of FEELING - i don't know where to put it all. it's like a spill running in too many directions #i don't know how to organize them or say them all without spreading some kind of infection around- triggering/dumping on other people #and maybe i am also simply tired on top of everything else - smh - but i am tryong to sit with these waves #to remind myself that i need to do what i can to mitigate things - that i know what some of these things ARE - even if i don't like them #and that i CAN do them - regardless #and the stuff i cannot change - that i don't have to absorb it all - that i can see it - and name it and admit it sucks and try and let go #and if - let go- isn't quite right then it's more do what i can to keep going anyway - then that's what i need to keep trying to do #i feel like i keep coming back to the mountain goats' lyrics from This Year: #There will be feasting and dancing in jerusalem next year - and i am gonna make it through this year if it kills me #embrace the suck

[kn11ves]

Do you have any sonas I would love to see n draw :>

YOU WANT TO DRAW ME???1//?!/!?????!111!!!!!!!

heres a stupidthing i did quickly...

alternatively

me^

#i originally wanted to draw myself with my centipede changshan outfit but i.i felt bad this was taking so long. #so L outfit it is #in all honestly though the bunny is probably a far more accurate version and it is what i use for my youtube videos #at least. INTEND TO ive been trying to get over myself and redo the character design video i made because i hate it but the fucking the fuc #i was making it while suffering my stupid ocd rules for drawing that took me like 5 years to get over #anyway i like my sona design its stupid... #if i could get away with wearing that many bandages in real life i would #i need to dye my hair again maybe next weekened ill try to bleach my ends white #im just scared to burn it and lose it hashtag native #anyways SNIFFLE #I LOVE YOU ANON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 💖💖💖💖 #anon #ask #pleaseplease dont let me forget to rb this to my stupid art blog #i llv u #i honestly dont even really know what i look like i had to trace myself to get somewhere close i look different every day and from every #angle #this makes me look taller than i am. i am 4'11

[redpiperfox]

But mainly, and really:

#red's week in music #STORYTIME WITH RED GATHER ROUND KIDDOS! #was at kids club tonight and went in knowing little 8 year olds mom had her baby this morning and lil girl was now big sis if two #and knew she hadnt come from home bc her hair was a mess of someone who didnt know curls trying to do it lol #shes generally emotional and dramatic but we can all see that shes a lil more so tonight. understandably. lotsa change #well she kinda hinges on this one thing of not getting the verses said to earn a jewel bc she wasnt able to say them-- totally fine! we'll #practice and get them later! but shes distraught bc she worked on them with mum and wont get jewel so i keep telling her when we'll work on #them together and when ill listen to her and we can get it done. cool. then lesson time shes up and down sniffly and the lesson says smth #about childbirth-- bursts into disarray. i ask her if she wants to step out and we blow her nose and she keeps talking about the verse so i #tell her solutions for that and then shes working herself up so i work thru calming down and she goes from #“i think im mad” to “mom would let me do what i want!” and i know the real issue isnt the verse but thats what shes telling me so... #adult shes staying with cautiously steps in and she calms down to tell me “its not the verse... i think i miss my mom” #oh my heart i know honey i give her a hug and we talk about the sleeover shes going to have and when shes going to see mom #and shes sleeping next to lil sis so shes going to give sis a big hug and tell her theyre going to see mom in the morning #and then i ask her if she wants to go back and she does and i just hold her and hug her the whole time #i give her another squeeze when she leaves and tell her to enjoy her sleepover #her friend shes staying with i should not did a very sweet of coming over and saying “hey lookit this new book i got do you wanna color it #with me maybe?“ which was such an emotionally mature thing for her and to see lil kiddo cheer up warmed me #teachers we debriefed and talked about kids going thru stuff at home and not being able to tell and process their emotions and stuff #and then i shared with mum on the ride back and she goes “yup. lil toddler will just miss mom-- its trauma at this age. this is why i #panicked and called my mother to come for your sis's birth bc dad said he could handle you but my heart couldnt for what you would go thru.“ #i was six when my sister was born. my grandma being there before consistently made me giddly excited in that time waiting for dad to bring #us to the hospital. #anyway my heart was full and im praying extra hard for two lil girls in a sleepover missing their mom tonight. #red's personal sitcom #Spotify

[spikeisawesome456]

WOOOO BEST OF LUCK ON YOUR TEST YOU GOT THIS

I thank you, but I do not think I did well. 😔

Oh well. I had my time to panic over it and freak out, went through all five stages of grief, and now I'm at "acceptance" and am thinking how I could do better next time. If I failed, I honestly have no idea, I think I did but who knows. It's weighted, so maybe that means something. I honestly don't know what I could do "better" next time, since it's not like I didn't understand the questions. I did. I understood most of them just fine and chose according to how I thought it should be answered, and I guess... my views of being a school counselor are different to what is actually expected of one...? Maybe? It was a very counterintuitive test, I'll be honest. I'm usually very good at being able to rule out wrong answers, since I'm usually good at deductive reasoning, but like... dang. What can I study when I understand the questions, I just don't think the actual answers make sense...?

Who knows. Maybe I'll look up a practice guide for the Praxis and maybe see if I could get like... a tutor or something. More practice tests, since the one I did yesterday did help. Just not enough, I guess.

#Seriously I don't know how I did as bad as I think I did #They gave me my raw score (I think???) in each of the categories and when I added them up it was very low #Like... less than half #I've never failed a test before let alone a test this big so this was... not easy to deal with oof. #I've always been a good test taker and this makes me questions everything. Even if school counseling is the right career path for me... #I honestly don't like it as much as I wanted to. #We'll see. #I already planned on staying with my current job until next year anyway #I want to see the fourth graders (who were second graders when I started at this school) graduate and then I will see where I want to go #Maybe I'll stick with my current company and try to move up. Who knows.

[spacecrows]

why do showers give me 10 minutes of galaxy brain and then it's right back to 1 braincell??

#anyway. shower epiphany. #maybe not talking to my therapists about things that i knew would have made me cry so hard i wouldn't have been able to speak and #thus would have been 'wasting precious therapy session time' #wasn't the Smart and Sensible decision i thought it was at the time #same goes for not talking about things i was afraid would make me look pathetic and stupid #maybe therapy wasn't supposed to be me trying very hard to show my therapist that i am Good at Mental Health or like. #being a really smart and easy patient?????? #maybe exposing my therapist to 30-50 minutes of me ugly crying would have been okay #(olivia barton voice: and i didn't have to call myself ugly while i'm crying) #i think people were lying to me and there IS a wrong way to do therapy and in my desperate attempt at doing therapy Exactly Right and #getting the best grade and a gold star maybe i did it Wrong instead #whelp let me file that away for next year when my insurance is going to cover more therapy sessions

[fjorrd]

how do i not feel disheartened over my grades not being good despite doing my best. how do i get motivation to write this essay when i feel like i'll never be able to get my grade up and never be able to qualify for the masters program i want because of it. i feel so hopeless and overwhelmed

#trying to start small on this essay... but theres just so much pressure now to do 80x better bc i want to be able to make it into the #program that i want and i still have the rest of this year and the next to get it up but. i feel so. upset #maybe i just need to not think abt it today and let it pass?? #.chatter