#let alone the fact that other people do

[hella1975]

all hate to tiktok for taking 'having a space to more openly and actively talk about different cultures' to mean 'cultures are NOT to be shared and we must be vigilantly defensive of our cultures for fear of appropriation, a word that can be applied to any multicultural interaction'. like of course cultural appropriation is a very real problem but ive seen with the access to global multicultural conversation that tiktok provides it's made people TERRIFIED to even interact with cultures other than their own for fear of 'doing it wrong'. like at some point you have to acknowledge that in the real world of the great outdoors, the majority of people are eager to SHARE their cultures. yes there are ignorant questions and biases but also... how do you think those things get unlearnt? i dont understand how deciding that multiculturalism is an elephant in the room instead of a normal thing that should just be talked about and lived with is supposed to benefit anyone? and kids on tiktok are CONVINCED that it's a time bomb of a conversation to have and therefore must be avoided at all costs but like. people generally LOVE their home and their culture and are PROUD of it and want to share it. how have we made it so that showing genuine interest and a desire to understand something so integral to a person's identity is now feared and borderline demonised?

#thinking about this a lot lately. thinking about how fun it was comparing cultural differences in america #thinking of how when i was homesick one thing i found a great comfort in was talking about my home #and how it differed and i really loved and appreciated it when people would ask me about england #in a way that they genuinely just wanted to learn about it and not to take the piss #thinking about how the kitchen at work has chefs from all over europe. we have an irish chef and a spanish chef and an italian chef #and one of the kps is from eastern europe (i havent actually been able to find out where yet) etc and the way they banter with each other #like usually chefs are Problematic bc their humour is VERY abrasive and usually offensive #but this is one instance where it's actually to their benefit bc they're so unafraid to ADDRESS THE FACT THEY HAVE DIFFERENT CULTURES #i feel like the tiktok gen are so petrified of even acknowledging other cultures let alone discussing them #that it's actually sending the conversation backwards. like how does hoarding your culture and pretending it's not there benefit anyone #LET ALONE YOU AND THE CULTURE IN QUESTION. idk it just baffles me a bit that something that started as people on tiktok #genuinely spreading information and talking about the BAD side of this where people DO culturally appropriate or invade spaces that arent #theirs has now become 'for fear of speaking bad about it we will not speak about it at all'. and they'll crucify you if you do. like what #even at uni my best mate is indian and she's too scared to join the sikh society on her own so i regularly go to the events with her #and im typically one of the handful (or the only) white non-sikh there and i get SO welcomed each time #like there's such a genuine excitement to share the culture with someone who is effectively a blank slate #and like yeah ill ask 'dumb' questions or i'll have different experiences (tried a samosa for the first time at one of these events #and the moment that info got out i had like five STRANGERS trying to give me different samosas to try and it was genuinely such #a laugh bc yes they were TEASING me bc 'how have you never had one' but they were also really eager to share MORE as a result) #ugh idk what im saying. i just think it's a shame to watch this happen in real time on the internet #when if people would just go outside and actually TALK to people from other cultures they'd realise 9 times out of 10 the interactions #are actually really really nice for BOTH parties. and actually refusing to talk about this stuff is long-term pretty fucking detrimental #and it also goes the other way!!! like imagine if i - citizen of colonisation motherland herself - didn't interact with other cultures #and didnt ask questions or hear their opinions on whatever shared history we have from THEIR POINT OF VIEW #imagine the kind of shit id be internalising bc i only hung out with other white british people. it wouldnt matter if i was doing it #to be woke or 'respect their culture'. it would still be fucking ignorant. like half my interactions with other cultures #see me as the butt of the joke bc of this like aforementioned irish chef at work VOCALLY slates the english all the time #but it's done in an environment where we're FRIENDS and it's poking fun at each other while still addressing a very serious history. like?? #idk if any of this is worded in a way that makes sense but yeah. i have thoughts #cant believe i got inspired to make an actually serious post bc of the CHEFS AT WORK. embarrassing. no one let them see this

[thyandrawrites]

Reo's jerseys reading just "Reo" is such a Choice because I think he's the only one aside from Rin and Sae who goes by his first name. But at least in the brothers' case it makes sense to distinguish them since they have the same last name. Reo doesn't have that issue, but he did get into blue lock specifically to achieve something for himself that isn't tied to the Mikage empire, by his own merit. Between that and the fact that when he appears on screen in the various charts he's sometimes reffered to as "Mikage" and sometimes as "Reo", I like to think he chose to have his jerseys show just his first name as a bet with himself. You know, to show the world that on the field he's not The Prized Mikage Heir, but just himself. And his achievements are his own

#Correct me if I'm wrong but I think irl athletes do get a say in what name shows up on the jersey #I remember an olimpic volleyball player going by a nickname that was a play on his real last name #Anyway I just love reo a lot #People often call out how sheltered he is as a way to shit on him #But he's self aware of his privilege and doesn't lord it over other people #And most importantly he's the first who doesn't want to be recognized as a mikage #If he was as sheltered as ppl think he would've given up when nagi left him the second time #From then on it's on him and him alone to work hard to grasp his dream and he does #He's not the spoiled rich brat trope. In fact I'd say he kind of flips that idea bc he's more the type to spoil others instead #He's more the let's get our hands dirty without delegating type #And by this I don't wanna say he never had advantages bc he's well off #Obviously that's untrue. He founded his own soccer team and had TRAINING FACILITIES for himself and nagi lmao #But in blue lock all of that ends and he barely bats an eye #The first thing he does in team V is rebuilding everything from scratch with pure hard work and skill #Blue lock #Mikage reo #Bllk thoughts

[eudikot]

Has anyone thought about how maybe after Serizawa leaves Claw to join S&S he doesn't want to live alone (a combination of his years of isolation and living with everyone at Claw) and how maybe Reigen wouldn't mind having a roommate (it would cut his rent and keep him company), so perhaps instead of Serizawa getting his own place they decide moving in together would be more beneficial.

#If this is not an original thought please send me links because I want to see this idea #Or if you decide to make something send it to me as well #This just popped into my head since idk what housing is like over there but here it is a pain to even get an apartment #Like yeah I understand a background check and seeing that you make 2x rent as a household but still #How the heck would an ex terrorist who just got a probably minimum wage job be able to get an apartment himself #Unless Reigen signed on as a guarantor #But at that point it would still make more sense to share a place #Don't mind the fact that it's a single bedroom you see how college dorms work #And then you get your roommates to lovers troupe alongside every other troupe they fall under #Why wait to have them move in together! #Show them slowly getting comfortable together until one day they're sleeping in the same bed #and Reigen wakes up thinking “wait how did this happen” #Or if you're boring just have them be normal roommates. You do you ig #ACTUALLY on this thought what is the Claw housing arrangements #Because we see the facilities and clearly the division leaders and everyone under them lives there #But what about the Super 5?? Do they live alone and get together for meetings like normal people or is it more frat style #Anyways this rambling is longer than my post. But still if you do this let me see it #serizawa katsuya #reigen arataka #serirei #mob psycho 100 #mp100

[franeridan]

no but talking about the beginning of the kaido fight i dunno if it's just a personality of the characters involved sort of thing but i love the difference between the way lu zoro and law interact with each other vs with kidd and killer, there's an ease to their working off each other that's missing from how they move around kidd n killer and you would say it's normal since they've spent months together by then and all three of them fought doflamingo together already, but i love that oda keeps these things in mind when writing dynamics sm

#it's like with kidd and killer they're just doing their best not to get in each other's way #but between them they work /together/ and that's so neat to me #law will complain but then he'll shamble lu and zoro out of harm's way without prompting #and zolu keep their eyes on him the whole time too #with kidd n killer they follow up to their attacks or get out of the way to let them attack #while with each other they make use of each other's attacks to make their own #it's such a subtle difference but i so love it #no it's esp because it's subtle that i love it sm #they point out so often during wano that pirate alliances aren't meant to last but the strawhearts one is so damn solid it's like they're #one extended crew #they never doubt each other and take care of each other and trust they'll have each other's backs it's so SO good to see #i know this is supposed to say more about luffy than it should about law #in the sense that what oda's getting at is that luffy's earnestness keeps people around #but i think the fact that law stays solid by luffys side for the time covered by five whole arcs says something about his character too #oda tries to make you believe he's the traitor in the early stages of wano too which means he had #the right reasons and ways and times to betray them but neither he nor the hearts ever did #i dunno how to explain this but what i mean is that you don't keep an alliance like theirs without the work from both parts #law was as much an unwavering pillar for the samurai as luffy was #it's so!!!! wonderful!!!! to me #the way they work as one shows in how law was “alone” against kaido too i think #though i wish he had brought bepo it's still cool to me how that seems to imply he had his back covered by zolu already #and this might be stretching it but yk how law had picked no fight against big mom directly while lu picked a fight something like #five separate times? with her? both he and his crew and yet there was no mugiwara to defeat her but law was there instead #you know what i mean right I just think it's cool #even if oda didn't mean for it to be read this way and it just happened i still love how they share their fights and grudges like that #they have each other's backs all the way I love their alliance so damn much

[echthr0s]

post about amphetamines and ensuing thread about how "ADHD people just feel normal on stimulants" is anecdotally true but not necessarily scientifically true on my dash and I'm just thinking about that first time that I tried meth with Sigma and we just both hyperfocused on our computers the entire time (they do have ADHD but I do not), or how I used to take Adderalls for the wakefulness and euphoria yes but also because I felt like it was easier to ride the strange winding pathways of my cognition to a place where they'd end up as a fic or some other project rather than just petering out because I couldn't keep up/got distracted by something else/got intimidated by the breadth of my thoughts

which I think is what the euphoria was actually related to. it wasn't just a direct result of Having Consumed An Substance, it was the exhilarating feeling of riding those strange winding pathways to wherever they wanted to take me, and not falling out of the train and landing unceremoniously on the side of the tracks with nothing to show for my grandiose thinking except some fragmented concepts

and to me, that's... therapeutic. that's a therapeutic experience, to be fully present in and engaged with my own mind. to feel centered and yet expansive, to be unbowed by anxiety, to see an end goal (a finished thing, in all its weird glory) and be inexorably propelled towards it by my own steam.

but I don't have ADHD. so I guess I'm just Being High, by this dichotomy ("people with ADHD on amphetamines are experiencing therapeutic effects" / "people without ADHD on amphetamines are experiencing recreational effects"). but it doesn't seem fair to make such a flat division, or to even assume that what people think of as "recreational highs" aren't therapeutic in some way (see also: the wide variance in how people respond to THC)

anyway tl;dr the ever-evolving wars on drugs really decimated how we think about the interactions between our bodies and the substances we put into it

#like there is no fucking way i can walk into a psych's office and be like ''ok is there any way i can get like. as-needed low-dose stims'' #bc to them that's just ''drug seeking behaviour'' like yeah i'm drug seeking. bc sometimes i want to write a fucking fic #or do some other project that requires a certain kind of focus from me that it's hard for me to summon at will #and like i think the way medical professionals treat people with adhd when they're just trying to be medicated #has created this divide where they're inclined to get mad at people like me for making it harder for them to get their medication #when in fact it isn't people like me or even people who are purely recreationally interested in stims #it's the fucking system. which sees ALL of us as shiftless manipulative addicts #i have a lot of disjointed but passionate thoughts about this lmao. this isn't even the full tip of the iceberg let alone the rest of it #singularity.txt

[sweetwateriver]

These girls want to do weekly study sessions for TWO different classes even if we don’t have a test or hw that week…. Literally do not have time in my busy schedule of being alive + watching tv

#personal #I LITERALLY do not understand time management. or being alive or anything really #sorry to be mean but one of the girls has failed these classes already at least once and is retaking and. well sorry but the class isn’t #hard enough for me to want to do study sessions every week <3 #LET ALONEEEEE the fact that I study better alone anyway I can’t think straight around other people!!!!!!!!!!! fuck my stupid baja blast lif

[gophergal]

Honestly the fact that so many things are marketed based on gender has always been so fucking weird to me

#gopher rambles #especially media shit #like i have GENUINELY reached the point where i dont know what makes a series “for men/boys” or “for women/girls” outside of really obvious #stereotypical shit. its especially bad with anime/manga #WHY DO WE KEEP DOING THIS. JUST FUCKING MAKE A THING AND LET YOUR LAST FUCK FLY #IF PEOPLE LIKE IT THEY LIKE IT GODDAMN #used to be i could look at things by artstyle alone and go “ok thats aimed at so and so this is aimed at the other” and that sucks #but just fucking break down that barrier! it doesn't matter if a chick likes your action series! or a guy like your romcom! #they like the genre not the fact that its “for” them #gopher bitches #just ignore these tags its a rant n a half

[nerdie-faerie]

Having a big family is too expensive. Where am I supposed to find the money for my brother's 20th, my cousin's 21st and graduation, my twin cousins turning 23, my other cousin turning 26 and having a baby all this month!! 😭

#Demon Spawn #+Extra #theres too much going on! and my mum doesnt tell me everything at once so i think i only have one purchase to worry about #and then she hits me with another one!! did you remember this? did you remember that? no i was still dealing with the last one #im sorry but siblings are prioritised then i gotta sort out my own sht if i can then afford all these other peoples things #when i dont even speak to them! then sure maybe ill get around to it but theyve all got more extravagant preferences which i cant afford 😅 #most of them still live at home and dont pay rent let alone tuition i cant afford their expectations and having 4 cousin birthdays #in a month is ridiculous have you seen the price of postage? and you wanna add in graduations and a baby into it??? #i probably sound like im btching about nothing to people who have a good relationship with their cousins but i never see them and even #when i do we dont talk its super awkward and we have nothing in common yet i gotta go spend money i dont have all at once on them #and i cant even say sht cus my mum arranged a 21st for me that i didnt want so they did end up getting me stuff #god i sound like such btch i just dont know these people and its stressful trying to get presents as is but so many occasions at once when #i have no clue is stressing me out right now its not that i dont want to celebrate its the sudden expenditure and the fact its not spread #out and that theres so many cus i already got 8 siblings and my mum is one of 5 and my cousins are getting older so theyre going through #milestones that require gifts too at the same time as their birthday

[ethernitty]

once again feeling mildly shitty on a day of celebrating my birthday

#because its fine when my brother asks people to not do things because hes had a seizure and naturally feels shit after it #but when i ask him to not do z because it causes me to tic painfully i am being unreasonable #and also mom HAS to bring up the fact that oh the neighbour doesnt get any friends to visit for her birthday so she may be autistic #which like i know i dont have any irls but you bringing it up will only make me feel like shit #and how am i supposed to make any irl friend when i don't have work nkw and whne I do get work there prolly wont be much kids my age workin #and i do not go to the sports anymore because dysphoria #and there arent any other clubs here i wanna sign up for #i dont think texting my friends who aslo graduated months after is such a good idea because most of them are also in school now and they ha #vent once texted me after #just ugh let me be and have a fun birthday for once #and my brother has to play that game which makes so much noise and makws me not want to sit downstairs and instead be all alone upstairs

[snekdood]

saw a post yesterday that was like "if you dont have trans women as friends u gotta think about why that is" and i really had to restrain myself from saying "it goes both ways my friend!". if you dont have any trans men as friends, ya gotta think about why that is also!

#personally? i dont choose my friends based on which minority category they belong to. #also im not out here going to 'trans group meetings' or whatever tf either. whoevers my friend is ppl who actually come into my life #who i actually get the chance to see and meet. consider: i havent actually met that many trans women irl at all. #i havent even met that many trans ppl irl at all in general- most of the trans ppl i DO happen across are NB #and i dont like making close friends online esp tumblr bc i dont trust none a yall #there are like two trans women i know that i met through someone else and 1 of them i literally just met and the other.......... based on #my interactions with her- i dont think we'd make great close friends. #acquaintances? sure. im mean thats kinda unavoidable at this point anyways. #the biggest issue is i havent met any trans women i think i'd actually click with- but thats a little unfair bc its hard to find friends #to begin with anyways let alone a trans woman specifically- if you think i gotta be out here hunting for trans women to be friends with to #fulfill your woke quota you got a weird fuckin world view on how friendships and the world in general works. #i dont make friends based on their transness or whatever tf thats fuckin weird. #theres a lot of trans women i follow online that i think i'd make great friends with- but the fact there aren't that many trans women #in general and the only ones i think i'd actually click with are ppl ill likely never meet irl? yeah i dont rly think its my #fault bud its kinda just the circumstance of life in general- there's just not a lot of trans people out there. #and no im not going to trans meetings bc that shit is usually toxic as hell anyways bye #new dating type of app but for looking for trans friends to make tumblr user buttfaceass happy about my choices #maybe if i lived in cali w my gay uncle i'd meet more but alas i live in missoura' and i dont blame trans women for wanting to hide #more here. shit i mean i do. #in total? irl? ive only met like 4 trans women. one of which im p sure is actually transfem and doesnt even live in my state #she and another one were part of a toxic abusive ass friend group and i really dont think im missing out on much. #so yeah what- you want me to try to befriend them again? bc im p sure my abuser filled their brains w bullshit about me so. #kinda not waiting on them to come around ever. #like im not exactly sure what that post wants me to do besides idk. act like the op of it? #go to toxic ass irl trans group meetings and befriend random ppl online who have no concept of friendship loyalty? yeah ill pass bud #actually actuall wait scratch that- i did know another trans woman--- she mightve been transfem too- but we met on discord #and primarily interacted there bc it was like a friendgroup discord and i think we were good enough friends we just never got super close #mostly bc im weary of queer friend groups that are predominately white and also i felt like that friendgroup only kept me around #to make fun of me. i dont think she was like that but.... the other ppl in it...... yeaaahhh... #so naturally we kinda stopped talking all together when i left the discord and stopped interacting w that friend group

[michaeljoncarter]

What do you think of Oliver and Arthur’s friendship? If they even have one 😭

i love them!!!

there has been CRIMINALLY little exploration of their relationship, so there's not really that much of a set-in-stone canon dynamic to point at, but the few examples we do have are so fun, and there's SO much potential for more

they’re an example of my favorite kind of contrasting characters, where it’s like… they are each other but backwards.

i guess you could consider this a type of foil relationship? but it’s not really about them disagreeing or any sort of thematic or idealistic contrast. it's their timelines that contrast--as in their stories are near-perfect parallels of each other but inverted and made completely different. it's like they’re both walking the same road, but they're going in opposite directions. they kinda start out where the other ended up and end up where the other started out.

the stuff that’s core to ollie’s character is the same stuff that’s core to arthur’s character, but it's all flipped. arthur’s origin is like ollie’s playing out in reverse, and ollie’s is like arthur’s happening backwards.

they’re both motivated by their families’ histories and their “birthrights,” but the relationships they have with them are exact opposites. ollie’s story is about distancing himself from his heritage & inheritance, and arthur’s story is about embracing his.

being torn between two worlds is a pretty big theme for both of them. the inciting event in both their stories is a sort of culture shock. they’re both taken from the reality they’ve known their entire lives & thrown into another, VERY different reality, but, again, from exact opposite directions. ollie loses everything he has, and arthur gains a literal kingdom.

if you boil it all way, way down to just the fundamentalest of fundamentals, green arrow is basically a riches-to-rags story, and aquaman is basically a rags-to-riches story.

(pre52, there was another parallel with this because in the 90s, arthur’s origin was changed so he wasn’t half atlantean but was instead a full atlantean child who grew up basically feral in the open ocean, so he starts out living in the wild and ends up living in a castle, where ollie starts out living like a king and ends up living in the wild on the island)

Aquaman/Green Arrow: Deep Target is probably the best (and kinda... only? that i’m aware of) example of something that really focuses on the two of them, and i really liked it. the whole plot is centered around them getting freaky fridayed into each others’ lives, which is very fun and also SUCH a good way to explore a lot of what i’m talking about

(one big criticism i’ve seen of this, which i definitely agree with, is that arthur’s... never really had much of a relationship with his mother? like i get what they were going for here, but yeah, the whole thing works a lot better if you read it as him using her as a standin for his love of atlantis & his atlantean heritage as a whole rather than just her but anyway)

there's just so much potential with these two!!

they’ve been through basically the same thing, but they went through it in opposite directions and had completely opposite experiences. they could both perfectly understand where the other is coming from, but in just as many ways, couldn’t at all. they have absolutely everything and absolutely nothing in common in equal measure. they’re like mirrors of each other, but inverted mirrors where everything is upside down and backwards

SO much potential for a really complex and interesting dynamic... not to mention the comedic potential. i mean, really, the things you could do with the fact that arthur is the head of a monarchy and ollie is... ollie alone!!

(from Green Arrow (2001) #3)

how many more times can i say the word "potential"? idk!! i just love them and REALLY wish someone would take the time to expand on their dynamic!! it could be so good!!!

#ask #anonymous #arthur curry #oliver queen #i have weirdly strong feelings about them actually #like they were literally introduced together!! they should have SOME sort of significant relationship just off that alone!! #aquaman characters get so screwed over in terms of relationships with nonatlantean characters #if you look at the relationships other jlers have among each other vs the relationships arthur has with the other jlers its sooo annoying #and the same thing happens with garth in the titans #like i GET why but ugh!! if you can make up a reason why hal is on earth for long enough to form deep relationships with other people #then you can make up a reason why arthur/garth/mera/etc are above water for long enough to do the same thing!! let them in!! #if this is messier than earlier im blaming it on the fact that im sick #earlier????? *messier than USUAL #you see what i mean.. my brain is mush rn

[mxdotpng]

we. as a community. are severally lacking in anything about richard and asbel trying to kill each other.

EDIT: these tags have become less and less about asbel and richard killing each other. i am so sorry. do not ask me to speak about anything ever this is exactly what happens every time.

#.text #ohhh i could fix them. are you listening to me? #i genuinely did enjoy graces (<- hasnt actually finished it yet) and i love it DEARLY but i NEED to overhaul everything #could you imagine? asbel's entire character is about wanting to save people. he wants to save everyone he can #he wants to save sophie. he wants to save richard. but nothing really comes from that #what if he had to learn he cant save people alone? he told richard at the beginning that he couldnt shoulder everything. #thats what asbel is there for. to help richard shoulder his burdens. but asbel never had to learn the same. #he always saw it as his Own duty to save others - its HIS duty to save sophie. its HIS duty to save richard. #there are no consequences to this- he doesnt run himself into the ground #or end up hurting his friends. he doesnt run off alone and have them chase him. proving that they are there to help him #shoulder the same burdens he helps richard with. sophie doesnt get worse for this and neither does richard. #what if he had to learn that there were different ways to save people? he had used direct action constantly. every single time. #but what if he had to face the fact that thats not what everyone wants let alone needs? if he were to learn that some people #can be saved by saving themself. or that some people can be saved just by speaking to them rather than #having their problems fixed for them. what then? or if he were to meet someone who just. couldnt be saved. #i do think richard should live at the end -- i really do like that. BUT. #i think asbel should have had a chance to learn that maybe the only way to save richard was to kill him. #maybe this happens -- i dont know yet. i stopped right before the ending i believe. but i dont think it does. #he is the one to constantly. constantly. try to help others. and seek ways to help others. he doesnt know his place in the world #but when he can help someone find theirs. or help someone make sure they Stay here. he feels like he has one. #that his existence. him being saved. was not a mistake. and that he is meant to be here. #but i think i would have liked to see him learn that in some cases. some very tragic cases. there is salvation in death. #plus i think. it wouldve been nice to have someone tell asbel that sometimes people Cant get help. sometimes #the only way they can be saved is if they save themselves. because it means so Much. so many different things #it happens to sophie and richard and i feel like it should have happened to asbel too. its evident he does not care about #himself as much as he should. he has not forgiven himself for something that happened as a child. and he doesnt forgive himself for #things out of his control too. he carries the weight of the world on his shoulders -- except that weight is self imposed. and it is going #to kill him one of these days. it Should. there shoulf be consequences. #i dont knoww i just think the themes of the game kind of miss because of how little theyre actually implimented throughout the game #even though i enjoyed it SOOOO much genuinely. i really did.

[strwbrymlkshake]

you lied to me, and ruined everything, and ruined how I approach almost any romantic feeling at all. and all you can describe it as is having fucking beef with me. and you don't even recognize your own actions. you don't even fucking remember them. you aren't phased by it at all. I agonized, had meltdowns over it. losing me, ruining me was just a regular fucking day for you.

#mine #the other day i thought. why is my hatred worth it. why am i continuing with this? #🪳 #why am i continuing with something that happened so long ago. why do i CARE. and this is why. fucking indifference #no amount of fucking sorries will fix it. no amount of i love yous will fix it. #there is nothing you can do for my forgiveness other than die. <- banger post btw i need to make that #and this is just? fucking irrelevant to you? you changed the trajectory of my life forever and you can barely even remember #youre so wrapped up in your sick little romantic fantasy you dont even realize how many people hate you. #all the time i hear it. if so fucking many people hate the both of you and dont want you to be together then its not destiny! #you only stay together because youd be fucking nothing without eachother? so itd be best to just kill yourselves<3 #good evening yangang how are you all today. im balls to the wall batshit insane and about to get a murder charge #also good evening to everyone except terrible pieces of shit who i hate and want dead and who im writing this about. #me when i definitely have an undiagnosed mental disorder but idk what it is for sure so i just say im insane #like definitely BPD but there is something else too i feel like this cant just be one disorder #at this point i dont care if im forever regarded as a shit person because of all this. people dont really like me anyway? except val #shoutouts to val everybody. if they are reading this hii hello bestie #well there is a select few people who like me. but not enough that CARE about me. doomy for example is keeping me going #even if its just through mundane posting like this. i cant believe im liked let alone loved #maybe only my surface level personality is desirable but the more you get to know me the more annoying i am #well they still like me despite the fact im displaying every mental illness everyday on tumblr.com so thats niceys #no person is entirely bad or good. i feel like thats me though. i have so many bad actions. but so many good actions too. two halves #two wolves inside of you and all that business. thats me #also lotto to me to choosing the most shit idiot guys to care about ever this one isnt even responding to my misery #well he never responds to anyone elses misery either. and only mine if directly asked. #hes too much of a puzzle for miserable me to figure out. #well im done being angry here u go here's the post

[shopcat]

"how can you not like jonathan and nancy if steve's your fave" well because i actually like him ☠️

the litmus test for actually liking steve is u have to love robin and the litmus test for actually understanding steve is you can't like st4ncy

#asks #also not sure what brought this on but you people are gonna get me killed #To soothe any troubled souls i will just rehash very quickly i like nancy just fine but i like her potential and i don't want her AROUND #HIM RIGHT NOW they need a restraining order 300 feet #and i like jonathan when he's with his family and when he's with argyle and otherwise he is kind of a flop especially re steve obviously #but really i just like whatever fanon jonathan that's been magicked up i never vibed w him to begin w bc i found him annoying and tiring #SORRY!!!! but i hate the ohhhhhuuhhhhh i just want to listen to the smiths and read poetry i'm so tortured types We would not be friends #but then again i wouldn't be friends with like. eddie. also i didn't like eddie either LOL i had to warm up to him as i watched #AAAND. i don't personally like nancy No but i think ppl fall for the misogyny because the duffer brothers are. misogynists. #i would wager platonic st0nathan do still have potential bc the fact really is they just haven't interacted at ALL #i don't even think they've said an actual word to each other since season 1 really #and i am AWARE his little season 4 STEVE? was meant to be lighthearted and then nancy's response is like to open up however the hell #they're going to attempt to fix the st0ncy triangle BUT GOOD GOD loving a character who the narrative hates is soul crushing OKAY #bc i fear they will not fix it in a way that doesn't completely decimate his character let alone nancy's either. Okay let's go outside #oh and i like when ppl like do the fix it nancy treatment like i said i do like her and her potential i think they can all be besties #but s4 also traumatised me #sts

[abyssalpriest]

I think whatever I end up doing the lesson is at its core "you need to stop seeing all attempts at saying you experience something as you taking up too much space and being dangerous, and you also need to understand everyone always makes mistakes sometimes (nothing anyone thinks is fully right) and you're not lesser and amateur at channelling because you aren't fully right, and also some third thing he says there is but idk what it is"

#Bc I don't want to be an authority anyway I just want to have fun embodying my role as a channeller of his like.... #And IDK I think at some point I need to understand that cycles of abuse happen when people think they're owed something and that others #deserve to go through what they went through. But I.... Am so against continuing the cult cycle that I sit here making light of #my life's work and not respecting is at all on the off chance it might negatively impact anyone in any way bc negative impact on my mind is #just immediately equalled to Cult Activity in my head. But like. Bruh. I don't even like interacting w people that much and I have the #Schizotypal Thing of not having an impulse to make new friends let alone a fuckin cult #Anyway. I need to stop catastrophising ''it would be nice to make this whole channelling Leviathan into an official thing #and test the limits of channelling and divination and whatnot'' into ''oh my god that's making myself an authority like he said not to do #and also that's just borderline making a cult that's continuing cycles of abuse'' bruh. Me occasionally doing a reading about his opinions #on something for someone else while making sure that someone understands my disclaimers that it's being translated through me/etc #Or something like that. Is not..... Declaring myself an authority on anything nor roping them in to rely on me ESPECIALLY when I always #explain how you SHOULDN'T rely on me as fact bc it's never fact like that's.... #Anyway. I should've expected this now that I think about it bc he often works with spiritual consultants for human groups and shit like #And he is endlessly humbling lbfr he always tells people who are worth working with when they're being dumb/etc and I want to be #Worth working with. Anyway. God hello I Need More by Misanthrop. ''I need more I need nothing I need more I need nothing'' yeah exactly #That's already a leviathan song this context is absolutely a mood. There is a MIDDLE GROUND. #Anyway again this is years away but #I'm way too socially anxious to do anything close to the thing like this blog just Existing is already testing all my social buttons but hey #ramblings // #Diary //

[holytrickster]

idk i think it's so funny I went down a survival horror game rabbit hole when a) I'm too freaking anxious for horror games I will make myself cry, b) it was all PS2 stuff which is extra funny bc I've never even played on someone else's playstation let alone had one, i was always a wii kid lol. but now my brain is like ah yes. time to consume everything I can about games I can't even play and that are stupid expensive/hard to get now

#also i love that people draw jennifer from rule of rose and fiona from haunting ground together #they're just two girls with their dogs and in horrible situations and you know im glad they get to have dogs #any game where i get to have a pet is alright by me even if shit is otherwise majorly fucked #anyway. i do need to play pathologic. it's funny bc in theory it is really the kind of thing I'd like bc there's so much stuff to uncover #plus i think classic HD (which is the version i have) fixes the bad translation so it's not even like it's too hard to understand #at least only hard to understand in the intended pathologic-y way anyway #and i really really like the soundtrack #and everything I've watched and read about it is sick as hell (no pun intended) so i think the thing making me unable to get into it is the #actual experience of playing it. like it's funny how much of an asshole dankovsky is but that doesn't mean I *want* to play as an asshole #its funny the only time i really like playing that way is in skyrim bc im just. greenish elf that picks everyone's locks bc it was the first #thing i figured out and characters will just ???? let me fucking do it??? (i say having gotten arrested in whiterun like immediately) #i guess because I'm not invested in any of the characters yet because i havent had time to sit down and really play it #i guess that'd kind of be the way i play in lotro but that's more just me not interacting with other players #fun fact i think i still have one of the earliest fellowship quests sitting unfinished bc i can never form groups to finish them #i don't think I'll even ever get good at lotro though honestly #more just knowing what buttons to spam #idk i played hunter FOREVER but minstrel is really really growing on me #even though some of the skills are kinda wasted since i only ever play alone #anyway what was i talking about