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rrxnjun · 9 months

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where do broken hearts go? [lmk]

you know what they say about past lovers that can remain just as friends - either they're still in love with each other, or they never were in the first place.

pairing: mark lee x fem! reader

genre: exes to lovers. angst, fluff.

wc: 12k (11.926)

warnings: mention of sex, weed and alcohol, heartbreak, swearing, park jihoon of treasure is one sassy bitch and also accidentally somehow the main character of this fanfic plz dont @ me, inconsistent writing style bc i took 3 months and 3 depressive episodes to finish this fic

playlist: where do broken hearts go - one direction / too good to say goodbye - bruno mars / everytime - ariana grande / closer - waterparks / tornado warnings - sabrina carpenter / survive the night - the boyz

a/n: hey do some of you still remember me..... AHAHA tell a friend to tell a friend rrxnjun is BACK! this fic isn't the ideal vision i had in my mind but we are working on not being so hard on ourselves with our writing so! here we are. i still kind of like it :,)

When you walk up to your best friend’s apartment one day with a tub of ice cream under your arm and the biggest pout on your face, Park Jihoon makes a complete list of things you should do to get over your failed relationship with Mark Lee. And while you think your dear friend has some psychopathic tendencies sometimes, you’d say the list is actually pretty reasonable of him.

There’s something about the five simple steps that makes you wonder if it’s really as easy as Jihoon makes it sound. And while you doubt it– because the pinging pain in your heart makes it seem like the heartbreak is truly going to kill you in a few minutes if you don’t do something about it– you give it a try, because come on… you’d do anything to not feel like this ever again.

Step one – cry it out.

“He was a cunt anyway,” Jihoon mutters as he steps into the living room with two spoons in his hands, throwing one of them to you– while almost managing to hit you in the middle of your forehead in the process, adding a concussion to the mix of problems you have going on right now– and you find yourself furrowing your brows at his hateful comment.

“Why’d you say that?”

“Well, as your best friend, I’m supposed to be on your side, no?” he says as he takes a seat on the sofa next to you, watching as you wrap one of the thick blankets you got for the male around your figure– you bought it mainly for yourself, because his apartment is cold as a freezer and you knew he wouldn’t buy one for you to use in the first place– and shrugs. “Besides, he broke your heart, and any male who does that is a cunt in my eyes.”

“I broke up with him,” you mourn, “so I broke my own heart,” you snicker, despair fully filling you up from the inside– fitting everywhere into your lungs and choking you up from how bad you truly feel. Now, this isn’t your first breakup– you’ve had your fair share of boyfriends in high school (in your baddie era, as Jihoon called it), but Choi Yeonjun from Maths class and Jung Woonyoung, the guy you dated for a total of 2 months over the summer break before he moved away, weren’t exactly boys you found yourself falling in love with. Sure, you liked them, you kissed them and went on dates with them– hell, you even hooked up with Yeonjun once before you realized the relationship truly wasn’t for you– but no one managed to cave into your heart just as much as Mark Lee, your first college boyfriend did.

“But you sure had a reason for it, come on!” Jihoon huffs, taking the tub of ice cream from your hands and opening it for you, since you’ve gotten quite weak from the lack of sleep and nutritions ever since the break up, hands clammy and not cooperating. “You don’t just break up with someone to break your own heart. He did that, that’s why you said goodbye to him,” he says before sitting the enormous tub of ice cream between your two bodies, nudging you to dig into the frozen delicacy.

“Yeah, but–”

“No buts, young lady. We are here to make you forget you ever even dated Mark Lee, so open up, eat the ice cream and focus your attention on Titanic so you can finally cry it out,” he says, and by the tone of his voice, you’d think he’s angry with you. Jihoon has this aura around him that makes you think he’s always at least a little annoyed at everything– but he told you to not mind it and that it’s just his sassy bitch attitude.

He does have a point, though. You broke up with Mark because he broke your heart first– there was no other reason for it. If it was something minor, something small, you were sure you could work on it. You have, numerous of times before, brought up something and had a mature conversation about it– something you always so admired about Mark, being so cautious and understanding when navigating problems in the relationship– but when you bring up the same thing over and over, and it never gets fixed despite him telling you he’ll try harder next time, you think you’re allowed to feel a little heartbroken at his nonexistent efforts. And that’s exactly why you decided to quit the relationship– after a while, you felt like you were putting in more effort than he was, effectively making you feel like he’s not even that interested in dating you in the first place.

First, he just told you he was forgetful. He forgot he promised to pick you up from class one day– and you said that it’s okay, he is busy, after all– and it was the first time it happened, so you didn’t really mind that much, truly. Then, he forgot about the date you scheduled– but it was fine, because you didn’t have reservations anyway, you could change the day to any other day of the week, after all. He kept forgetting the stuff you told him in between the conversations you shared– and it was small things, you understand, but sometimes, you wondered if he was ever really listening to you at all.

Forgetful soon turns not interested in your eyes, and when he doesn’t call you in the evening like he promised he would, when he doesn’t show up to the party you invited him to, because he forgot it was that day, you’re one step closer to calling it quits, because each and every one of these situations sends a sharp pain into your stomach. The last straw was just last week, though– and realistically, it was an important day, as much that you thought the day is somehow gonna fix everything, but the truth is somewhere completely else as Mark Lee forgets about your one year anniversary and never shows up at your doorstep for the dinner you prepared for the two of you like he promised he would.

And it doesn’t click in him two days after either– you don’t even get a text. He got so forgetful over time that he forgot about you completely, and that’s when you took an uber to his place and broke up with him for good.

And even though the breakup was the most painful thing you’ve ever felt yourself go through, Jihoon is right– you’re not the one that broke your own heart. Mark Lee did that for you many times before, and this was just the breaking point.

“Fucking hell, you bought cookies and cream again?” Jihoon huffs when he takes another spoonful of the ice cream into his mouth, eyebrows furrowing at the sweet taste. Looking at him from the corner of your eye, you wipe your left cheek as you hum, immune to his nagging by now.

“You know I hate cookies and cream!”

“You know, Hoon, I bought this for myself. When you’re the one that’s heartbroken, we’ll share your favorite ice cream flavor instead,” you mumble, munching on the coldness on your tongue, sniffling a little when your eyes avert to the TV screen.

And after that, the teasing from your best friend’s side stops. Maybe it’s just because he hates to see you cry– and he rarely gets the chance, if you’re being honest, since you’re pretty good at handling your emotions– but you secretly know that it’s because when he looks back at the TV screen in front of the two of you, the sad part of the movie hasn’t even started yet and the tears are not the result of the movie, but of your own thoughts instead.

Step two – give him back all of his stuff and the stuff he’s given you that reminds you of him. Demand that he does the same.

Now, step two was a thing most couples do when they break up. Realistically, it makes sense– you wouldn’t want stuff that’s not yours just laying around, and also, it’s just bound to remind you of the person you lost. Naturally, you’d want to return it.

“Why does he have to return my things as well?” you mutter under your breath as Jihoon helps you fold all Mark’s hoodies into a cardboard box, alongside with wrapping the little things your ex boyfriend made out of ceramic for you in tissue paper like you asked him to– even though he complained and said that it shouldn’t matter to you if they break, because you are the heartbroken one– but you held those little things too close to your heart to let them get damaged in the first place.

“Because that’s how it works,” Jihoon hums, watching as you throw another one of Mark’s shirts onto the top of his head, shielding his vision. “What, you don’t want your stuff back?”

“I mean…” you mumble, deeply considering of the fact that the thought of getting your stuff back didn’t even cross your mind until now, before you realize your favorite pair of socks is thrown somewhere in Mark’s drawers– the blue ones with peaches on them– and you suddenly have the revelation that while you don’t necessarily need the stuff back, you’d love to wear those socks again. “I guess…” you note as you walk over to Jihoon and take a glance into the full cardboard box, looking over the stuff and chewing on the inside of your cheek.

“It’s like witchcraft, y’know,” Jihoon points out, looking at you with fierce eyes mirroring the stupid idea that just flashed through his brain, “if you don’t exchange the things, a piece of you is still kept at his apartment and you won’t be able to move on.”

And again, Park Jihoon does have psychopathic tendencies, but he may be onto something here. So you listen to him as you nod along and close the cardboard box, ready to drive over to Mark Lee’s apartment and drop off the things you’ve collected from him for the past year. The box includes all of the clothes messily scattered across your drawers and your closet, the picture frame of you two together that you always had on your night stand, the ceramic bowls and a little tiger sculpture he made for you when he took a pottery class with his friend Renjun, and the lost guitar pics you found under your bed and at the very top of your bookshelf from when he used to bring his guitar along and play you songs on rainy afternoons. The only things of Mark’s that you kept were the love letter he gave you for your birthday and the USB with his cover of Justin Bieber’s Off my face on it that he shyly gifted to you on one of your dates; but you would never tell Jihoon that in fear of him getting rid of those most precious memories for you.

It’s good to let go, but you don’t think you’re wrong for wanting to keep something to remind you of the good times. The times you still felt loved by Mark.

“Off we go,” you say, standing up and bringing the box towards your front door, your best friend at your feet. He promised to drive you to Mark’s place– you think he’s worried about you meeting your ex-boyfriend face to face for the first time since the break up, but he said it’s because you’re too broke to Uber all the time, efficiently throwing all the considerate thoughts you were accrediting him out the window– and after a few minutes of the drive, you find yourself standing on the doorstep of Mark Lee's apartment.

Taking a deep breath in and out, almost chickening out with the flood of thoughts and excuses you could say to Jihoon when you come back to his car with the box still in your hands– sayings like “he wasn’t home” or “he didn’t want those back”, the latter stupider than the first– you decide to face your problems head-on and finally knock on the mahogany door, waiting for Mark to answer. And he does– of course he does, because he’s always home, and as his ex-girlfriend of one year, you're painfully aware of the fact– but when that happens, you feel your heart falling all the way down to your stomach, crushing you and suddenly making it hard for you to breathe.

“Um… hi,” he greets you, voice a little groggy, as if he hasn’t spoken in a while– and when you meet his eyes, the deep chocolate orbs you always found yourself admiring and writing silent odes to in your head, you quickly glance away in fear of staring into them for too long and making decisions you wouldn’t like to make.

“Hi,” you awkwardly greet back, clearing your throat and moving a little in your place, shifting the weight from one foot to the other. You're surprised you're able to keep up with the conversation, thoughts running in your brain faster than you can comprehend them, heartbeat ringing in your ears from the unexpected anxiety. Maybe Jihoon was right and you should've taken a shot before coming here– at least you'd have more courage and social skills clearly needed for this kind of interaction. “I… brought you back your things,” you say, finally looking up at the male and chewing on your lips, letting out an awkward, tense laugh when he stares at you with an empty look, “figured you’d want them back,” you add, watching as the male opens his mouth and closes it in what seems to be shock before he presses his lips tightly together and nods at you.

“Uh, yeah,” he says, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly as he watches you clumsily hold up the cardboard box to him, ready to leave his stuff there with him and escape as fast as you can, not really minding how you'll get back to Jihoon's car– if jumping down the window of the entrance hall is the fastest option, you're ready to get to it. The truth is, everything is starting to get a little too hard to bear– his familiar scent filling your nose, the hoodie he wore to your first date enveloping his figure, his messy hair reminding you of the many times you brushed your fingers through it in attempts to smooth it down. It’s only been two weeks since you last saw him, but it was starting to feel as if you forgot about him already and were now relearning all the things you once fell in love with again, looking at him in the same light, yet noticing him and all the small details a little bit differently. “Thanks, I… I actually, uh… I have your stuff here too, so if you want it back I’ll– I can just–”

“Y-yeah,” you nod, almost a little too eagerly, “that would be… cool,” you say, trying hard to ignore the fact that he had your stuff packed too, intending to give it to you, and the crashing reality that comes with it, telling you he was prepared to do this before you were and how it’s making you feel kind of shitty.

Mark moves further into the apartment, the sound of him dropping the box to the floor filling your ears before he’s back at the door in no time, a similar cardboard box in his hands that he offers to you with a tense smile on his face. “Wanted to bring it around so I had an excuse to see you, but you, uh… beat me to it, I guess…”

Looking at him as you take the box out of his hands, gaze as if to tell him not to say such words to you when you’re still so fragile to his effect, you only nod and mutter out a simple “Thanks,” before you turn on your heel and intend to take the stairs back down.

“I’ll… see you around, then?” Mark calls after you as you take the first step out– something about it making you feel like it’s the first step out of his life, in a way– and you only nod, because one, you truly don’t know how else to reply to this question, and two, you really, really don’t know if you’ll ever see him again, but you can't bring yourself to say it to his face. Somehow, it would feel like torture to admit it– and you're not prepared for that reality just yet.

Rushing outside and getting into Jihoon's car, you almost feel like you’re on the verge of breaking, and when the male asks you how it went as he’s reversing out of the parking lot, you only bid him a one-word reply before you look through the box on your way home, too impatient to stay back from the memories.

And Jihoon didn’t really think this one through, because the fact that you gave Mark back the things that reminded you of him meant that he did the same, and now all the things you brought along to Mark’s apartment were in the cardboard box, all stained with countless memories and feelings attached to each and every single thing. The artwork you made for him, the little heart-shaped keychain you gave him for his birthday, the plant you gave him that was now long dead and dried out– those were once your stuff, but all in this world with the intention of love being sent out through them to your now ex-lover, and the fact that they’re in your possession again instead of his is not making letting go of Mark any easier.

And maybe Mark was right and he truly was forgetful, because as you rummage through the contains of the box, while you find out your favorite blue socks are nowhere to be seen, surely still buried somewhere in the drawers of his closet, obliterated out of his memory, there’s a gray hoodie sitting at the bottom and it’s surely not yours– it’s his and it was always your favorite, and you always used to wear it at his place when you got cold or when you just really wanted to smell his cologne, and you suddenly don't know if it's presence in the box slipped his mind or if he truly left it there on purpose.

Couldn’t he forget about that too?

Step three – block his number.

The third step comes into place after you accidentally slip out to Jihoon about the phone call you get on a Friday night– more like two hours into Saturday already– and now, most of all, you must admit that your best friend might be right about his advice.

Your phone starts ringing at 2:11 AM, and while you weren’t sleeping– you’ve been having some trouble with dozing off without being overbeared with thoughts lately– the name flashing on your screen shocks you for more reasons than one.

Mark Lee calls you, three weeks after your breakup, in the middle of the night. You haven’t spoken since the time he gave you back your stuff, and even though you’ve done quite a bit of stalking on his social media, you have no news of him or his whereabouts. Naturally, a call from him in the middle of the night startles you and shakes you to the core. He has no reason to call you, so your brain does the math and concludes there must be an emergency– and god knows that even after being hurt by him, you could never ignore him and leave him hanging in a state of need.

So you pick up– with shaky hands and a raging heartbeat, expecting the worst. Listening to the other side of the line, you take a deep breath in and out, bracing yourself for the impact of the words you’re going to hear. The voice on the other side is laced with haziness and his tone is almost a little tired– worn out, even– when he finally greets you from wherever he is.

“Hi,” Mark says, and for a second, your heartbeat steadies itself and the world stops spinning– he sounds okay, and for a moment, you’re grateful to hear his voice.

Humming, as if to collect your thoughts, you clear your throat before you offer him an answer. “Hello,” you greet, “what’s- what’s up?”

“Just wanted to hear your voice,” he says, almost a little abruptly to your question. He doesn't overthink his answer and he doesn't give himself time to think if it's a good idea or not– he just blurts it out and now it's your problem to deal with, when it's there, out in the open. Your palms get sweaty and you start to lose feeling in your fingertips, making you take a few seconds to yourself to process the situation before you decide to finally answer to the strange sentence.

“It’s late, Mark,” you mumble, and you involuntarily wonder if the sentence doesn’t have double meaning– it's too late for anyone to call at this hour, and at the same time, it’s been weeks since your ex boyfriend lost the privilege of listening to your voice when he can’t sleep in the middle of the night whenever he feels like it– and it’s now too late to do anything about it or make it any easier to deal with.

“Shit, sorry,” he chuckles to himself, and you suddenly recognise the laziness in his voice to be the effect of his and his best friend Hyuck’s Friday endeavors; the sweet coating of his voice being the effect of none other than the momentary bliss that comes with the relaxation of his body and mind when he's high. “Didn’t realize,” he concludes, making you shake your head at him in disbelief– not really mattering that he can’t see you in the act.

“‘s okay,” you mumble– and in your perfect reality, you hang up the phone now. In your perfect reality, you connect it to your charger and close your eyes, calling it a night. You fall asleep with no thoughts rummaging through your brain and wake up in the morning to a new sunny day, ready to take on the responsibilities of what’s to come, having productive days ended with smiles and a hot dinner you make for yourself just because you feel like it. In your perfect reality, you protect your own heart. This is not your perfect reality, though– and that’s why you stay on the line, listening to Mark ramble on the other side of the phone, intoxicated and slightly out of it. You wonder if he’ll remember calling you when he wakes up tomorrow. You wonder if he’ll regret it, or if he’ll just shrug his shoulders at the fact and go on with his day, not really paying you much thought when he’s sober.

“I was with Hyuck just now,” he says, and you hear the rustling of his sheets on the other side of the line, making you wonder if he’s washed up and ready for bed, “and– and I remembered how we all used to hang out together, y’know… you with us all– you always clicked with my friends and it was so cool and stuff… and I realized, right, they’re not as funny when you’re not around… but anyways… Jeno’s girlfriend asked about you, ‘cause she didn’t know…and telling her felt so silly, ‘cause they all kept looking at me and I knew they were pitying me, but it was my fault in the first place–”

“Mark–”

“No, it’s true. And it’s cool, I don’t– I don’t blame you, or anything. I just… I dunno, I guess it got me wondering…”

The line goes silent on the other side, and you settle into your own bed, giving him time to continue. When he doesn’t say anything for a long time, you wonder if he’s fallen asleep.

“Mark?”

“Hm?”

“You still there?”

“Yeah. How was your day?” he asks, tone of voice casual as ever, as if he’s forgotten about all the words he’s told you up until now– as if it’s not 2 AM and both of your hearts aren’t breaking at the sound of each other’s voice on the other side of the line.

“It… it was okay, I guess,” you say nonetheless, too hopeless to find a way to end the conversation before he does.

“That’s good to hear,” he says, sighing, “that’s… awesome. You still taking those yoga classes on Mondays?” he asks, and you snicker to yourself– because what kind of question even is that? Who asks that on a late night call, when there are more important things you two need to talk about?

“Yeah,” you lie, still. You haven’t been since the breakup.

“That’s great. Wouldn’t want you to… y’know,” he laughs to himself, “be too sad over this… ‘t was for the better, after all.”

You hear yourself hum– the noise way more stable than your actual words ever could be– and you find yourself feeling silly in the conversation, lying to your ex boyfriend through your teeth; because at the end of the day, you don’t want him to worry about you– because it seems to be the case that he is. And it’s stupid, because he hurt you and you shouldn’t care, maybe you should’ve even show him that you’re heartbroken and that he is the reason behind your pain and the way your life is falling apart, bit by bit, but you don’t find it in you to be so cold and heartless. At the end of the day, you still care about Mark and there’s nothing you could do about it. Turns out that breaking up with him doesn’t magically make the feelings go away– and you knew that, but now you have proof.

“What were you saying before, by the way? You… trailed off at the end,” you say, reminding him of his previous words.

“Oh, that,” he snickers into the microphone again, a heavy sigh escaping his lips as he twists and turns in the sheets, “don’t worry about it. It was selfish of me.”

It was selfish of him to call in the first place. But you won’t tell him that.

“What was it?”

“It’s just… I was wondering if I lost you forever, y’know… if there was a chance we could ever…” he trails off again, but this time, you don’t bug him to complete it. You’re not stupid– you know the implication of his words. You’ve known him for a long time, after all– maybe you should’ve predicted this when you picked up the call.

“I mean…” you hum, “you didn’t lose me completely, if that’s– if that’s what’s keeping you up at night. We’re still friends, aren’t we?” you say, and in the corner of your brain, you can’t even believe the words yourself– but if it was selfish of him to call, you think it’s okay for you to selfishly fill both of you with empty promises, just for the sake of not breaking your heart even further.

“Yeah,” he mumbles, “that’s– …I’m glad.”

The line’s silent after that, and you wonder if you two have used up the list of words to say to each other this time, if there’s truly no other answer at the end of this conversation. When the situation gets too much for you to bear, the heaviness finally settling on your shoulders and your chest, you finally find the courage to sniffle out a quiet goodbye.

“Good night, Mark.”

“G’night,” he drags out, mind still cloudy. “Love you,” spills out from his tongue, like a bad habit.

He ends the call before you get to say it back. Maybe that’s for the better.

And the truth is, you should’ve really listened to Park Jihoon and blocked Mark’s number after this encounter. But you didn’t– you’re too weak for Mark’s sweet words, finding yourself still hanging on to his saccharine voice and the muffled ramble he has reserved for you only every time he gets high and loses all self-control before calling you on Friday nights selfishly demanding your attention, somehow falling for him like a teenager over and over again despite promising yourself you're gonna move on for real now.

Step four – date someone new.

“So…” Jihoon starts one day, eyes glued to your skull like laser beams, the tone of his voice so incomprehensible you think he’s going to scold you for the actions of your previous days– even though you haven't told him about the midnight calls with Mark and so if he's not going through your phone, he has no way of knowing. Tense and nervous, still, knowing that the impact of his words could either heal you or cut you open like a knife– damn him for always being so brutally honest, no matter how soft his heart is for you– you smile at him with tight lips, crossing your arms on your chest in defense.

“So…?”

A nervous laugh almost escapes your throat. If Jihoon wasn’t suspicious of you before, he surely is now– or he just finds you strange by the way he furrows his brows at you and scans you up and down, taking a second for himself before he sighs and seemingly decides to drop the weird way you’re acting right now, shaking his head and focusing on the task at hand.

“I was thinking… my friend asked about you,” he says, nonchalantly looking down onto his hands and taking the dirt out from behind his nails, as if it’s not a big deal and he doesn’t even care that much. “Choi Hyunsuk from Biology, you know him– shabby haircut, kinda short, failed the class so he has to retake it this year…?”

“I think you’re forgetting the fact that the two of us have completely different majors, Hoonie,” you sweetly smile at him with irony, making him roll his eyes with a sigh before he tries again.

“The guy who ripped his pants at Xiao Dejun’s party last year?”

“Oh, that one! You should’ve said that earlier, of course I remember Choi Hyunsuk from your Biology class,” you nod hurriedly, the gears finally clicking in your brain.

“As if I wasn’t talking about him for the last few minutes–”

“Okay, and what about him?” you cut him off, already tired of his annoying tangent.

“I said he asked about you.”

“I heard that already,” you nod, looking at him with expecting eyes. “And?”

Jihoon stares at you, unblinking, as if you fell on your head and he’s trying to comprehend if you’re still here with him or if you got a concussion and need to be transferred into a hospital. When the contact of his eyes on your skin gets a bit too uncomfortable– you swear his looks could actually kill someone, if he tried enough– you furrow your brows at him in confusion and shake your head in disbelief.

“Why are you staring at me like that, Park Jihoon?”

“Just tryna see if you’re really that stupid or if you’re just pretending,” he mutters under his nose before he sighs again– his favorite activity whenever you’re around, it seems– and speaks up again, tone of voice reminding you of a kindergartener teacher trying to explain why it gets dark in the evening to a bunch of 4 year olds. “You know, when people ask about you, they are usually interested in you, as in, my friend Hyunsuk didn’t ask because you’re nice, but because you’re hot, if you know what I'm getting onto.”

“Oh,” you get out, eyes wide in concern and a little shaken-up, “well, that’s… nice of him, I guess.”

Jihoon only hums at you before he looks around himself and brings out the bag of chips that he left open by his right side only a few seconds ago, not really speaking more about the topic. It’s either he’s waiting for you to get what he’s hinting at, or he’s just waiting for you to get even more confused and ask him about it in a few seconds again– either way, he’s not the one doing more talking right now, because conversations with you, the most oblivious person he’s ever seen, are never productive if he goes too fast.

Chewing on the chips, his eyes go wide when you finally open your mouth and talk more about the topic at hand– just like he predicted. “Why are you telling me this?”

Your best friend swallows before he places the bag of chips back to its original place and turns his whole body so he’s facing you, speaking up again. “I was thinking that maybe, just maybe, you’d like to hang out with him. Like a date, before you ask– because I know you’re gonna ask– and why? – because, again, I know you’re gonna ask– because I simply think you should try to date again to get your mind off the loser you broke up with two months ago,” he says, blunt and honest, answering all of your unsaid questions at once, and before you know it, he has you snickering and shaking your head in disapproval.

“Absolutely not,” you retort, waving your hands in the air to only further show your disagreement with the proposition, “that would just be a massive catastrophe.”

“Why? Hyunsuk’s nice.”

“I didn’t say he isn’t, it’s just…”

“Just?” he probes you, eyebrows raised and questioning.

“I… don’t know,” you nervously chew on the inside of your cheek, aimlessly shrugging. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea, Jihoon.”

“Because of Mark?” he asks, and the moment his name escapes your best friend’s mouth, the whole room goes strangely quiet– you feel your heartbeat in your throat, the tips of your fingers start tingling and you swear that if you concentrate hard enough, you could feel a bead of sweat drip down your forehead with the incoming stress and nerves only the mention of your ex boyfriend brings you.

“No, that’s not it–”

“Sure,” he nods, sighing to himself– and there it is again, the judging look you so despise.

“You can’t just expect me to date other people a few weeks after my break up, Jihoon,” you exclaim, “that– that wouldn’t even be fair to your friend. You know I wouldn’t be invested,” you explain, and your friend rolls his eyes in frustration, sighing to himself.

“Oh but I know that! And Hyunsuk does too,” he shakes his head at you, “just thought the company of someone else could take your mind off things.”

“I have you,” you try.

“Yeah, but all we do when we’re together is mope about Mark Lee,” Jihoon snickers, “and don’t get me wrong, I’m more than open to bitch about your ex boyfriend and as your best friend, I don’t mind, but the fact that you’d be hanging out with someone else could take your mind off him, because you wouldn’t feel comfortable talking about him with someone else, y’know?”

You shut your eyes closed, a heavy sigh heaving out of your body as you try hard to concentrate and not lose it, and with how Jihoon’s tone gets softer and he’s not as loud with his brutal, yet logical advice, he must feel you getting overwhelmed and accommodates to your needs. “Look, it’s gonna be fun. I promise. Hang out with someone new, feel wanted and hot and pretty again, get some male attention that’s not your ex boyfriend, and you’ll see how it makes you feel. If you hate it, you hate it and you can slap me, I don’t know... If you don’t, you can keep dating around with my friends, and I swear I’ll hook you up only with the nice ones,” he takes your hand into his and waves it around in comfort, making you open your eyes and look at him again.

Seeing the softness and encouragement in your best friend’s eyes, you sigh to yourself. All this time, he’s tried to help you– what if you finally follow his advice? Who knows, it might even help.

Sighing, you squeeze his palm and hover over him to get the stranded bag of chips he’s guarding on the other side of the sofa. “Fine,” you mutter, “but let your friend know that he’s the one paying, okay?”

“Perfect. I'll text him your number, then.“

And maybe Jihoon was right and after dolling yourself up and dressing up in your favorite dress just so you would feel as comfortable as possible, you don’t feel as bad when his friend Hyunsuk picks you up in his white Volvo and chats with you on the way to the restaurant. He makes good small talk and even gets a giggle out of you, the music in his car is low and you find yourself slowly easing into the situation. You don’t remember when the last time you went out with a guy that wasn’t Mark was, but it’s surprisingly nice.

And Jihoon was right– you feel pretty. And when Hyunsuk opens the door for you after pulling up to the parking lot of the restaurant, you even feel wanted. You like the attention, just like any other girl would, and the smile you offer to your date seeps of tender shyness as you get out of the comfortable seat of his car.

The illusion, though, is soon broken as you notice the restaurant he pulled up to. Your smile freezes, your palms get sweaty and you feel your heartbeat rummaging against your ribcage as soon as the idle atmosphere of the restaurant opens up before you. And realistically, you could turn on your heel and get back to the car, tell Hyunsuk that you want to go to another restaurant– but you don’t do it, against your biggest wishes, because you worry that the boy already made a reservation and you don’t want to ruin an evening that’s going well so far.

“Everything alright?” your date checks up on you, seemingly noticing the frown on your face, and when his worried eyes meet yours, it’s sealed– you’d feel too bad for pulling out of the date now. So you only do what you always do best– you put on your best relaxed smile and nod, catching up to him and ensuring him that you’re all okay and you didn’t just talk yourself out of an anxiety attack.

Because you owe it to him and to Jihoon– both of them worked so hard to make you feel happy and help you to get over your ex boyfriend. It’s not Hyunsuk’s fault that he just managed to pick the restaurant your said ex boyfriend works at part-time. He had no way of knowing, and if you’re lucky enough, Mark wouldn’t be on today. He only works here part-time, it’s not like he’s here every day, and as far as you’re concerned, he only worked like two or three days a week when you dated. It would be a weird coincidence for him to be working the day you go there with your new date– you hope you’re not that unlucky.

Hyunsuk is a gentleman. Opening up doors for you, pulling out the chair for you, letting you talk and not interrupting you. He watches you with fond eyes and you almost try to feel bad for the fact that even if this ended well, the poor boy would just end up being a rebound. He deserves so much more, and you start to worry if this date was a good idea after all. Wasn’t it selfish of you to agree to this?

“What do you want to get?” he asks as you open up the menu, and you squint at the prices, mentally taking a note to order the cheapest thing just in case he wants to pay for you at the end of the evening.

“Spaghetti Bolognese,” you blurt out, despite it not being your favorite meal. Hyunsuk just stares at you with squinted eyes, but doesn’t disagree with you. After all, he has no way of knowing that you dislike the taste of the sauce in most restaurants– even though your conscience tells you that Mark knew that and always made sure to remind you about it before ordering for you, worried that you won’t get to eat much that evening– the only thing left to hope is that it tastes good in this particular place.

“Okay, sure,” he nods and puts the menu down, smiling at you before engaging in a comfortable conversation with you. It feels like you’ve known Hyunsuk forever– his personality oddly reminding you of Jihoon’s caused mainly by the fact that the two have grown up together. Everything flows soundly, but you still find yourself anxiously picking at your cuticles as you cautiously look around the restaurant, fearing the fact that you could catch a glimpse of your ex boyfriend at any second.

And maybe you should be a psychic, because those bad feelings were not there for nothing– when you see a waiter walking out of the back and eyeing your table, ready to get your order, the boy is a few inches taller than your current date, raven hair messy, but still a little styled, dark circles under the man’s eyes, and there he is– your ex boyfriend. Mark Lee halts in his movements, wearing his work uniform, eyes wide, a hint of something that breaks you at least in two mirroring in his orbs before he turns on his heel and disappears in the back again. When he doesn’t come back and his co-worker joins you and Hyunsuk at your table with a warm smile, you stop waiting to see the glimpse of him you selfishly desired to catch despite fearing the interaction the whole evening.

You want to fall through the floor and disappear in the depths of this earth. For some reason, you feel mortified. What would he think? And why do you even care about his feelings? A million different thoughts run through your brain and you worry that you’re being too distant from your current date, but Hyunsuk’s warm eyes reassure you that he doesn’t mind.

Piercing the food on your table with your eyes, you try to battle the noisy words running around your brain.

It’s easy to say you’re over someone when you don’t see them. To have them in front of you, meet their gaze and acknowledge their existence and still be able to nod and say that you’ve moved on, is something completely different.

Were you ever convinced that you were over Mark Lee in the first place, though?

After all of this– the months of following Jihoon’s advice, although making a few mishaps along the way as you continue to pick up Mark’s calls on Friday nights, snoop around his socials and let your mind wander to places it shouldn’t, overthinking everything and making you wish the relationship never ended in the first place– it’s time for the last step of it all. The last, most crucial part of this whole moving on process– the most important one, if you may.

Step five – avoid him at all costs.

Sounds easy, right? After the four previous steps, you’d already cried plenty about the lost months with your ex-boyfriend. You’d already given him back all of his stuff, not tying yourself to him with any material memory. You’d already gone on a date with someone new, choosing to distract yourself instead of letting yourself feel the emotions. After all the previous steps, this one’s supposed to be the easiest one. The one you’re supposed to want to do, after all. The break-up wasn’t messy, but it was still painful– it’s only natural for you to not want to see Mark ever again, right?

Wrong.

Because you never listen to the advice you’re given. That just wouldn’t be you, would it?

And so when Mark Lee calls you one day and tells you that he has a free train ticket to the Bukhansan stop, explaining that he was supposed to go hike there with Donghyuck who canceled on him last minute because of an assignment due midnight, you don’t really hesitate much before you shoot him a short text saying that you’re down and get ready for the short hike.

When you meet your ex boyfriend at the station, his figure slightly slouched up until the moment his eyes meet yours, you feel the quiet tension in the air. You’ve seen each other a few times before this meeting– on a party you went to with Jihoon, at the campus when you went to class one morning, your ex boyfriend walking you towards the Art building, hell, you’ve even met in the grocery store, all accidental and making your heart leap in your chest with tension. This time, though, you’re here completely intentionally, just to hang out with him, and something about the fact makes a dull pain shoot all through your intestines, a sensation so uncomfortable you try to hide with a tight-lipped smile.

“Ready for the hike?” he asks, adjusting the bag on his back, playing with the straps with clammy fingers. You can’t help but notice how he looks just like a little boy, in his little world, shielded from everything. He seems to have taken a protective stance, and you hate how the air between you shifted from how you two used to be when you were dating. Mark seems scared. Nervous. On top of his feet. Maybe you shouldn’t have agreed to this at all.

You’re already here, though. Turning around and leaving wouldn’t really work right now, as you take a step towards the train that’s just arrived, humming to your ex boyfriend in agreement. Taking a seat on the place Mark’s pointed to you on the train ticket, you try to loosen up your muscles and get as comfortable as you can, clearing your mind as you gaze outside of the window.

“How have you been?” he asks, clearing his throat.

Pressing your lips into a tight line, you turn to him as you search for an answer. “Better,” you nod, voice quiet. “You?”

Mark hums, chewing the inside of his cheek. “Good, good,” he lies through his teeth, “I’ve seen you at the restaurant the other day,” he hints, and you battle the sigh that’s begging to cut out of your throat. You don’t know where he’s going with the sentence. It’s not a question– only a proposition, barely even that– and you could ignore it with a nod of your head, you could pay it no mind as you see the bitterness in his gaze and the slightly self-conscious averting of his stare. You don’t know where he’s going with the conversation, but frankly, you don’t know where you are going with your answer either, as you shrug to him in a casual manner and peep under your breath.

“Yeah,” you say, “that was just… Jihoon’s friend from uni, I suppose,” you complete, and the sentence hints at nothing– it doesn’t clear out the confusion, it doesn’t outright say anything that could make Mark believe that it was just a casual hang-out with a friend, but still, you see the boy visibly relax as he nods to you and offers you a tight-lipped smile.

“Oh,” he hums, looking out of the window, past the profile of your face. The change in topic is sudden and sharp, but also welcome as he falls into a casual conversation with you, and suddenly, you’re reminded by the Mark you once knew– the guy you’ve once called not socially awkward, but so social that it’s awkward– as he talks to you about his day and rambles on about the weather. “It’s good that it won’t rain today, I bet the view will be nice.”

Locking your gaze with him for a brief second, you lick your lips and point your eyes towards the ground. It’s good that it won’t rain today, as opposed to last time you two went to the Bukhansan trail. You wonder if he remembers.

Before you have a chance to mention it– and in all reality, you won’t, no matter how bold you could be feeling at the moment– the train comes to a stop at your station and you hop out of the carriage, ready for the hike.

It’s easy to forget how messed up things have gotten between the two of you when you walk alongside with your ex boyfriend, laughing at his silly jokes and gasping at everything he shows to you with a pointed finger, finding yourself admiring the sound of his giggle when he spots a squirrel pass your path somewhere near the top of the hill. The trail is almost empty at this hour, since the two of you have decided to go in the late afternoon, and you find your soul to finally be at peace after so many weeks, you finally feel relaxed in the nature, one with the wind and the gentle sound of birds chirping lullying your running thoughts to a rest.

You realize that this is just what you needed all this time. You needed to get out and walk for some while, to tune out yourself and to accept the fact that you’re still here, for another day, and something about that is still a blessing. Watching the back of Mark’s head as he walks a step in front of you due to the narrowness of the trail in this area, you smile to yourself. It’s easy to forget just how much you were hurt by him when he heals your soul with such a simple gesture. It’s easy to forget you were hurt when he seemingly tries to put all the broken pieces back together, glue them to where they were in the first place, when things were easier and you both didn’t have so many things to worry about.

You reach the top just as the sun starts setting over the horizon, and there are only a few people scattered across the peak, sitting on their own picnic blankets and gazing into the distance. The hues of the sky paint the world in a different color, the oranges, pinks and muted purples playing with your heartstrings as you come to a halt and crouch down and feel the presence of another soul mirror your actions only a meter away to your right, his gaze glued to your side. The view is beautiful, but the feeling of being watched isn’t ignorable anymore, and so you turn to your companion and raise your eyebrows at him, wondering if he has something to say.

You don’t know how you’ll be able to come back to your life after this and pretend you still don’t want to spend every passing second with the man on your right. You don’t know how you’re supposed to ignore the ever so growing love for him– even though after being so disappointed with the past, the feelings should be decreasing, not doing the opposite– and frankly, you don’t even want to think of going back to the way it’s been for the past few months. And so you don’t– you allow yourself to indulge the moment, to ignore the pain that’s about to come, just so you could hold another beautiful memory to your heart and enjoy the moment before it hurts you to think of it tomorrow morning.

“It’s even more beautiful than the last time,” Mark hums, but his eyes never leave your figure– if you were still dating, you bet he’d come out with a cheesy line about how you’re prettier than the view, or something. “It didn’t rain this time around, thank god.”

Gazing at him, you shake your head in disbelief. Scoffing, you play with the grass between your fingers. “You remember that?”

“Yeah,” he hums, “I remember a lot of things.”

The sentence makes you bitterly chuckle. He knows why you’re reacting the way you are– and you have every right to. He claims to remember a lot of things, but the ones important to you, the ones you wanted him to remember, he failed to save into his memory. And that’s eventually what made you break up with him, at the end of it all.

At your reaction, he sighs and drags a hand across his face, seemingly realizing the weight of his own words and just how ridiculous he must have sounded to you right now.

“I- That-” he stutters, shaking his head, “that sounded stupid right now, considering… everything… Didn’t it?”

“Kind of,” you nod, not wanting to meet his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he blurts out, voice suddenly raw and serious, so different to the tone he’s been using with you the whole afternoon, “I don’t- I can’t remember if I said that back then, when you- when you… broke up with me, but I really am sorry, Y/N. You didn’t deserve that, and I am in no way shape or form trying to make this about me, but I hate myself every day for the way things turned out and if I could go back to that day, I’d do so many things differently.”

The sky in front of you deepens in reds and you taste iron on your tongue, suddenly hyper-aware of the fact that you’ve managed to bite on your lip too hard in the midst of the conversation. Tearing out stems of grass with your clammy fingertips, you focus on the clouds running through the sky, calculating your next response.

“Okay,” you nod, not giving him much else. The answer perfectly encapsulates the way you feel on the inside right now– you don’t know if you’re ready to accept his apology, if you’re ready to let go of it and act like you weren’t hurt or that none of it ever happened, but you listened to him and you internalized his words. He is sorry. He knows he was in the wrong. And you were aware that he knew all of this before– hell, you’d even go as far as say he knew it the moment you knocked on his door that day and told him it was over– but hearing it from him surely moved something inside of you to a more comfortable place.

“I-” he starts, voice breaking making him clear his throat before he continues, “I don’t expect you to forgive me. And I know I shouldn’t have expected you to still be my friend after all of this, and that- I shouldn’t have even called you so many times and approached you at the store and stuff, but um-” he mumbles, shrugging to himself, “I guess I just couldn’t stay away from you. And again, I don’t expect you to forgive me, I don’t expect you to do anything, really. So… yeah…”

Snickering at his aimless monologue, you shake your head in disbelief. “Mark?”

“Yeah?” he stares at you, eyes a bottomless pool of emotion.

“Why did you invite me here today? What was the… point, I guess?” you ask, hugging your knees to your chest as the breeze makes goosebumps appear all over your body.

Mark offers you a sad smile, head leaned to his right as he shrugs, and this time, his eyes don’t leave yours as he spills the truth into the air. “I guess I was just feeling selfish today,” he hums, and the sentence makes you cringe with the memory of his first call to you after your break up, “wanted to spend time with you.”

“Here, of all places?”

“Yeah,” he nods, “told you. I was feeling selfish.”

Snickering, you look away, staring at the sky again. The colors are starting to blend together into a deep, dark purple– the horizon darkening as the sun starts to say its final goodbyes to the day. You sigh to yourself, yet feel no bitterness or terror at his words. Somehow, you understand. Somehow, you get him a little too well. Somehow, you think you knew the moment he texted you today, and somehow, you think you felt it in your bones when you didn’t say no, although you could have. There’s calmness in your soul when you nod at the implication of his words, leaning back on your elbows and plopping your bottom to the ground, sitting at the dusty surface.

“You said you didn’t expect anything out of me today, Mark.”

“And I don’t,” he says, voice soft.

“And you brought me here to remind me of the last time we went?” you stare at him, a hint of a bitten-back smile playing with your lips. “Because you’re selfish?”

He nods, not escaping your gaze. “To remind you of the last time we went. To show you that… I remember, I guess. And that I still care, just like the last time. If not more.”

“Mark, you can’t just say all of this and expect nothing out of me right now,” you mutter.

“Actually, I can. Because that’s what I’m doing. I’m just… laying it out in the open, and what you do with the information is completely, completely up to you,” he explains, and you find yourself chuckling at him, the atmosphere instantly lighter as you hear his voice in its usual casualness, talking to you as if he was just unpacking what went on in class today, and not the starting and the end of your one year relationship.

And he’s right. What you do with the information is completely up to you, and the next steps and the progress of your relationship with Mark Lee is also completely in your hands. You could turn away and never talk to him again, you could curse at him and tell him that it’s too late now and he missed his chance, but if that was the case, you wouldn’t be here in the first place. He wouldn’t be inviting you to this place, lying about his roommate canceling just to trick you into going, and you wouldn’t be blindly accepting the invitation, wanting to see where the afternoon brings you.

“So you still care about me?” you hum, looking at him from under your eyelashes, noticing his slouched-over pose as he looks back at you over his shoulder.

“Always have,” he admits, “never stopped. Despite not really… acting like it in the past few months.”

“Why’d you stop acting like it, then?” you ask.

A sigh escapes his lips, his head turning forward before he leans back and sits cross-legged on the ground, more comfortably now. Shrugging, he answers the question. “I guess I just got too caught up with different things. And don’t get me wrong, you were always my priority, always, but I was all over the place with everything and my mind just couldn’t… there were too many things to keep up with and I couldn’t stay up to date with everything,” he says, “and I know it’s not an excuse, but it’s an explanation, and it doesn’t make it better or undo the pain I’ve caused you, but it’s… at least you know it was never because I’d care about you any less.”

His eyes bear into yours with such honesty you think the weight of the world will crash on you any minute, and suddenly, the whole situation seems so much clearer.

And you wouldn’t take it back, you wouldn’t undo the breakup or do anything differently, because at the end of the day, you think it was needed. Perhaps the time apart was what he needed as a wake up call and what you needed to shield yourself from hurting more.

“Stop me from saying it if you… if you don’t want to hear it right now,” he hums, voice barely louder than a whisper. There seems to be a silent communication between the two of you, a connection of some sort that brings out the strange telepathy, but you just nod at him, a gentle smile playing with your lips as you understand exactly what he means, telling him that it’s okay and that you don’t mind– you welcome, you need to hear him say it again.

Licking his lips, he turns to you fully, facing you. There’s not a hint of nervousness in his body, having done this a lot of times before, and then it happens– the repeated confession, confirming what was there the whole time, never leaving even when the times were rough.

“I love you,” he says.

And isn’t that all that’s needed?

A year is a long time with someone. Somehow, you wouldn’t want the time to go to waste. At the end of the day, if love is still present, isn’t it worth trying? One more time?

“And you still don’t expect anything from me?” you ask, gazing at him softly. “You don’t expect me to say it back?”

“No,” he breathes out, shrugging. “I just needed to get it off my chest.”

“Because you’re selfish like that,” you nod, teasing him.

“Because I’m selfish like that,” he agrees, breaking out into a slight grin.

Looking at the sky, now completely dipped in dark purple, you sigh to yourself at the turmoil of the conversation. You don’t say it back– although you feel it, you know it’s in there, playing with your heartstrings and clenching the muscle in the palm of its hand– you know love is there, deep inside, for the man that’s currently staring at you as if you hung the very stars appearing on the sky there yourself, stolen them from your own eyes and gluing them there selflessly, for everyone to see. You don’t tell him you love him back, you don’t tell him you forgive him or accept his apology. You don’t worry about what tomorrow will bring you, what your brain is going to tell you when you come down from the hill and get home, lay in your bed and overthink. You let the worries escape you, letting fondness and calm envelope you in a tight hug instead.

“Okay,” you nod, watching the boy next to you look at you with curious eyes. You take his hand into yours and place it on your thigh, playing with his fingers for a heartbeat before you meet his eyes again and smile. “I won’t say it back, but for all it’s worth, Mark… I’m glad you remembered.”

And that’s all he needs– there is love, there is fondness, and there is the silent confirmation that all you need right now is just a bit more time.

Where do broken hearts go?

Somehow, you think they hold on to the place where it all started. Somehow, you think your heart never went anywhere– it stayed on this hill, waiting for you to pay it a visit and pick back up everything right from where you left it.

“It doesn’t seem like a good idea to go here today, Y/N,” Mark laughed behind you as he looked up to the sky, the dark clouds shielding the sun that had been previously shining down on your hiking figures, casting an orange glow on the strands of your hair.

“Well, there’s no turning back now,” you shrugged, turning to him and grinning as you tugged on his hand, grip strong as you dragged the boy up the trail, your sneakers fast against the dirty ground. “We have finals starting next week and it’s gonna be too cold to go after the exam season is over, so we gotta go now.”

“I kind of regret telling you that I’ve never been here before now,” Mark sighed, but followed you nonetheless, breathlessly following your excited stride. It was October, the leaves on the trees were welcoming the two of you in shining colors, and the wind kissing your skin turned a bit chilly in the evenings– courtesy of the warm hoodie Mark shyly lended you when you shivered for the first time, adoring the way you, his friend, looked in the light gray fabric. Something about you wearing his clothes made the boy a bit hopeless about the day. Maybe he’ll have enough courage to confess his feelings to you, he thought. Maybe, despite the first raindrops falling on the skin of his bare arms, this evening will have a happy ending for you and him.

“Oh, please,” you squinted at him, continuing to run up the hill– thank god it wasn’t that steep, serving both of you as the perfect hiking difficulty, “even if you wouldn’t have, I’d drag you here anyway. It’s like, my favorite place to go in Seoul, haven’t I told you before?”

You have, Mark thought. But he was okay with hearing it again.

You squealed when the raindrops got heavier and the rain started pouring faster on the two of you, and Mark found himself laughing at your running figure. He was right behind you, praying that you don’t slip on one of the rocks and break your leg on the hiking trail, but he encouraged you with sweet comments and a hand on the small of your back as he watched the tip of the hill appear right in front of his very eyes, your body coming to a satisfied halt when you reached your destination.

“Tada!” you grinned at him, twirling a little like a ballerina, showing him the place with outstretched arms. He tried hard to observe the place, but his eyes stayed glued to your excited figure, gaze bearing into yours as you looked at him, amidst a little flustered, with sparkly orbs and a bright smile on your face. Your hair was a mess, his gray hoodie enveloping your body was slowly growing darker in color from absorbing the rain, and your sneakers were getting a bit muddy from walking around the place. He wanted to remember this moment forever, he thought– this version of you, the smiley expression on your face, the carefree and excited nature of your step.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” you exclaimed, jumping around and nearing the boy, but as you went to take his hand to drag him around the top of the hill once more, your feet slipped and you fell forward, a surprised squeak battling its way out of your throat.

Your whole life flashed in front of your very eyes in that moment, embarrassment spreading down your neck at the fact that you were about to fall face first onto the ground in front of your crush of a few months, before your body collided with a soft, yet firm mass engulfing you closer. A pair of strong arms steadied you against his chest, and when you looked up at your friend, you swear all words were taken out of your dictionary, the sight leaving you speechless.

“It is,” he gaped, eyes bearing into yours. Mark was agreeing with you, but something in the back of your head was telling you that he didn’t really admire this place as much as you did– his curious gaze was always plastered somewhere completely else.

That place being your face, of course. And your eyes, your cheeks, the mess of your bangs, and occasionally– screw that, almost always– your lips. Much like in that moment, a few centimeters away from his face, so inviting he thought it would be a crime to contain the urge.

And so he didn’t– he didn’t control his feelings and the ever-so growing yearning for you, as he silently leaned towards your face and captured his lips with yours in a firm, yet short kiss.

He looked at you with a nervous tint behind his gaze when he leaned away, the sight of your wide eyes staring at him making a slight flush grow on his cheeks. You looked so beautiful in that moment– flustered, surprised, with messy hair and lips still apart– and he was relieved to not find a hint of a displeased emotion in your expression.

“Okay, so- well-” you stuttered, laughing to yourself, “this didn’t go as I planned, but I guess I’m happy as long as the final result is the same,” you hummed, standing on your tippy-toes and pressing your lips against him once more, this time letting yourself enjoy the moment fully, mouth moving against his in a careful, yet excited rhythm. He tasted like the strawberry candy you offered him on the bottom of the trail and smelled a bit like rain, the mixture always staying in the depths of your mind as his warmth enveloped you in comfort and a feeling of home.

“The final result being…?” he asked when you pulled apart once again, a dazed expression overtaking his sharp features.

“Us,” you shrugged, “like this,” you clarified.

Mark laughed at that, hugging you closer to his chest. You rested your head on his shoulder, listening to the sound of raindrops washing away the top layer of dirt off the rocks on the tip of the hill, hands sneaking around his waist and enjoying the way they wrapped around him so tightly and so comfortably. You in his hoodie, in your favorite place, standing in his arms. It was raining, but it didn’t matter.

“Mark?”

“Hm?”

“If we ever get lost, or something happens… bring me back here, okay?” you mumbled close to his ear, lips gently glazing the skin of his ear, making goosebumps appear all over your new lover. “I’m convinced that this place could fix everything.”

“Even us?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re not allowed to ever leave me now, what would there be to fix between us?” you smacked his shoulder, snickering to yourself.

“You never know,” he laughed, “what if I accidentally mess up somewhere along the way?” he asked, threading his fingers through your hair, smoothing down the wet mess.

“Okay then,” you hummed, “even us.”

Staring into your eyes, letting the moment play out by itself, Mark swore he’s never felt more at peace. He wondered if it was the effect of the place, the rain, or just your sheer presence. “I’ll remember that,” he giggled before he let go of your body, petting your head as he took a hold of your hand, tugging you down from where you came from, “now let’s go home before we catch a cold.”

Nodding, following the man as you both carefully, yet fastly made it down the trail, you enjoyed the way his hand fit into yours and the way you knew that after this, you can’t ever come back to being friends with Mark Lee. He was all yours, completely, utterly yours, and you knew in the back of your head, that you were his– and nothing will ever change that.

You would always come back to the hill with him. It felt ridiculous to think about you two ever having to fix anything between the two of you back then, but even in that moment, you knew that for him, you’d keep trying. As long as he does– as long as he remembers.

Where do broken hearts go? You guess they always come right back to the place they come from– and they leave glued back together every single time.

You guess your heart never really left the hill.

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mphountitled · 6 months

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𝐒𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐃: 𝐖𝐨𝐨𝐳𝐢 𝐚𝐭 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐲!?

Didn't anybody tell him being back in the booth will leave him singing solo?

Pairings: Lee Jihoon x Fem!reader | Slight!Kim Mingyu x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: A kink confession in couple's therapy might just save your relationship

Warnings: Established Relationship, Insecurities, Gender Roles, Slight!Toxic Relationship, Fluff, Slight Angst, Smut (+18 Minors DNI), Masturbation, Dom/Sub undertones, MeanDom!Jihoon, Sub!Reader, Innocence Kink, Slight DDLG, Ownership Kink, Hair Pulling, Spitting kink, Massive Degradation Kink, Praise Kink, Slight Humiliation, Submission Kink, Dirty Talk, Grinding, Oral Sex (Male rec), Breeding Kink, Slight!Hate sex

Word Count: 3.9k

Song: Mine | Beyonce

Woops

"I'm aware that I'm on this mission to get my boyfriend to actually want to fuck me again but why does it feel like I've already failed on the very first step?" A whine so childish, and so petulant rips itself from the depths of your throat but Jihoon's running shower silences the pathetic noise.

While he showers, you're left sitting on the floor surrounded by a graveyard of designer lingerie. A too small Victoria's Secret set is immediately abandoned in its box, leaving you howling into the phone as you wriggle yourself into the complicated underwear.

Your confidence wanes as you adjust to the intricate bows and string of the set, wincing as you pull up the pink garter belt until it's clasped around your thighs. Soon enough, you're padding across the floor of your walk-in closet, hesitantly approaching a mirror.

"I mean, this says 'slut' but what if 'slut' isn't what he's attracted to?" Your hand curls tightly around the width of your phone, "Jihoon is an anomaly! What if I end up making a complete and utter fool of myself?" The mirror is nestled between Jihoon's clothing rack harbouring all his neatly pressed designer pieces. You let the sight of his intimidating fashion waver your already fragile confidence.

"Are you hearing yourself?" Scoffs Mingyu through your phone's speakers, "What man has ever in the history of the universe not been attracted to 'slutty'? I feel like that might be a prerequisite in terms of the origins of the word." He says in a lax, calm manner, "Woozi'll just be happy to see boobs and ass becuase that's usually how a guy's brain goes. Or how mine goes at least."

Despite Mingyu's assurances, your arms are still folded over your scantily covered breasts while you cradle your phone in the air. "I don't know," your bottom lip finds its way between your teeth. "You didn't hear him today at counseling, Mingyu. I feel like our therapist might actually hate us." You continue to cradle your torso, forcing yourself not to flinch at the memory of your earlier session of couples therapy.

How far away Jihoon had felt despite being seated right beside you, like a gleaming, stoic-faced monolith. You feel as though you have been living in nothing but a perpetual winter, forever trying to please Jihoon, your boyfriend, but always falling short in front of Woozi, the entertainer. Work, work, work, on his mind meant that you were left to entertain your own wants by your lonesome. Even more harrowig, is the excuse he had given your therapist.

"She's always in boss mode," Jihoon's tone was as cold as ice, refusing to spare you even a single glance as he faced the therapist ahead, "And that's one of things I love about her, yes. Her drive and determination makes us compatible because I know I'm the same-"

A scoff slips past your lips at that point, making Jihoon's fist clench on the arm rest as you snootily interjected, "Don't misconstrue." You said, "He works more than me," and it was the truth as far as you believed it. Yes, you would gladly admit to neglecting a few key elements of your relationship in the face of your career, but never had you ever made Jihoon feel microscopic in your pursuits. Not like how he made you feel.

"It's important to listen to each other without interjecting." The therapist calmly scolded, leaving you grumbling in your seat, "You'd be surprised at how much could truly be accomplished by simply listening to each other,"

You were truly ready to tell that old lady to go to hell but something strange happened, and Jihoon finally opened his mouth, unburdening himself with what has truly been bothering him in his relationships as of late.

"It's just," He swears lightly under his breath, which does a terrific job in garnering yout attention. You peek up from underneath your lashes and you're stunned to hear him say, "I just wish she'd understand that it wouldn't burn down the foundations of feminism if she'd just," Jihoon's jaw ticked as he displayed the very first signs of emotion, "-Just let me take that load off for a bit…"

"In what way?" The therapist asked, sensing the nearness of a eureka moment. She treaded carefully, in fear of scaring Jihoon back into his shell. Thankfully, he made himself clearer because by now, you needed to know as well.

"She's the boss in her day to day and I respect that," he says, "But all I'm saying is that it wouldn't hurt to leave all that shit at work..."

The therapist nodded with grave understanding, although even you could see the trepidation easing onto her face. There is no hiding the conflicting emotions displayed on your face.

"You're asking her to become more…" The therapist cleared their throat, "Submissive?" Jihoon had not responded after that, letting the pregnant silence act as his megaphone.

"I'm submissive," you had whispered, nodding as if trying to convince yourself of your words. "I'm like… so submissive," before you could decorate your lie with even more lies, Jihoon finally turned towards you.

"Really?" He asked, "Where?"

You let an incredulous chuckle escape from your throat as you shot back, "Where what?"

Jihoon did a show of looking around the therapist's clinical office, delving deep into his petty theatrics as he calmly, "Where are you being submissive, because it hasn't been with me?"

The session had ended with you wracking your brain at Jihoon's admittance of what you suspect to be a kink. His words haunted you on the silent drive home. They had piqued your interest considerably, filling the atmosphere with a tense warmth, as if a tempest was brewing. One that neither of you was quite aware of how to deal with yet.

It was a feeling that led you into the deepest confines of your closet, until you pulled out the Savage x Fenty lingerie box, immediately calling Mingyu in a fit of panic while Woozi was in the shower. He was, after all, your best friend way before you even knew of Lee Jihoon.

Ripping your arms away from your torso is a mission on its own, one you succeed with immense reluctance as you finally gaze at your reflection in all her half naked glory.

You commence a hesitant twirl in front of the floor to ceiling mirror.

Very hesitant.

The lace bralette is digging into your ribs, and the matching pink garters are cutting into the skin of your ample thighs. It is all so painfully uncomfortable that you're threatening to take it off, no matter how much of a wet dream you may look like.

But there is excitement there too, bubbling beneath the surface, awakened by Jihoon's confession. You are almost excited to try this with him. Submission, sexually, was never on your cards previously but maybe this is something you should have noticed long ago. You pride yourself on being observant so why didn't you notice it before?

The soft affirmations of "Say my name," while he was steadily bringing you to orgasm with his fingers alone. The unmistakable need to have his hand locked around your throat whenever he was on the verge of cumming.

Even the non sexual stuff.

Ordering for you. Making sure your hand was always locked inside his when you found yourselves wandering the city. Forcing you to pay with his card despite knowing you made more than enough to sustain your lifestyle.

How didn't you know?

Keeping a hesitant grip on your satin nightgown, you tilt your head at your reflection skeptically.

"Imagine how embarrassed I'll be if he just ignores me," The insides of your mouth is bleeding non stop from the way you've been gnawing at it, "Maybe I should just accept that work is the only love in Jihoon's life."

Mingyu's voice is diabolically soothing as it bleeds through your speakers, "No, no," he says, and you can imagine him swatting away at the air in the process "Jihoon acts like a prude but he's one of the biggest sluts- if not - the biggest slut I know."

"Besides yourself of course," you murmur,

"Besides myself of course" Eventually, Mingyu comes up with what he suspects is his big master plan.

"Perhaps you should send me a pic of you in it, that way when the little guy gets out of the shower and sees you, then you'll be far more relaxed in the knowledge that someone else has already seen you in it."

It truly was Neanderthal mathematics.

However, there is an underlying veneer in Mingyu's tone bleeding in through the phone's speakers that makes you believe your best friend is far from joking. Despite it infuriating Woozi to no end, Mingyu might never stop flirting with you ever. In respect of your dynamic.

"Surely, I shouldn't have to tell you that I'm not sending you a pic of me in my lingerie for you but I guess I have to put that into words you would understand maybe?" You hold up your fingers and clear your throat as you monotonously say, "how dare you," 'have you no shame, Mingyu," You ask, "Need I go on?"

In the midst of Mingyu's petulant whines urging you to just 'leave your man' Jihoon's shower silences, and you right your bad posture immediately. You suddenly have no idea what to do with the drawstring of the nightgown. Somehow, this seemed like the make it or break it moment. The moment where you would decide to dive headfirst into your plans of winning back your relationship despite the possibility of being met with Jihoon's hostility and coldness that you had grown so accustomed to.

The pool of dread and anxiety is deep, and your hands are nearly shaking as your fingers gloss over the lacy pink garment. "I have to go," you whisper into the receiver, vaguely aware that you've already clicked the button to sever the line before your sentence even ends. All while you awaited the footsteps from Jihoon. But they never came.

Courageously abandoning your fear for the sake of actually getting laid, you walk up to the door of your shared bathroom and knock hesitantly.

"Jihoon? Honey, are you okay?" But he is not okay, in fact, Jihoon might venture to believe he may never be okay because your voice is just so pretty, even when muffled by a closed door. His eyes are squeezed shut, and his forearm is leaning against the shower glass, and you just called him honey and fuck, if he didn't start tugging at his dick faster. He feels pathetic, having to get himself off when you were right there but the nuances and complexities of fighting with your partner introduced the need for such things.

Jihoon's jaw is locked tight as he succinctly and suspiciously responds with a rumbling and groaning "Fine." His brows are furrowed, and his teeth locked tightly together as he fights to get off easily and succinctly.

He hopes that you would take the hostility in his voice as a sign to make yourself scarce. Jihoon already fucked up when he let the 'submissive' thing slip but he cannot bear to imagine the utter humiliation he would be subjected to if you swung that door open right now, catching masturbating in the shower, as if he did not have a girlfriend able to meet those needs… It bruises him like nothing else could. He did not want you to see him like this. He did not want you to know that even in the midst of your fights, you were the only woman he ever really thought of.

His palm skates over his soaked cock as his mind is filled images of you on your knees in front of him, head tilted back and tongue sticking out like a-

"Good little slut," It was intended as a whisper to fuel the violent pool of heat bubbling in his abdomen and make him cum quicker. A whisper that you weren't supposed to hear but your ear is on the door now and you shout back,

"Did you say anything?"

He cannot reply because his cock is aching and heavy with the weight of his fantasy. A fantasy in which you were his to hold, his to fuck, his to cum inside of until you were completely and utterly full of his load-

"Fuck-"

He rushes to squeeze the base of his dick, edging himself even though he's not quite sure why. This had been his moment to just cum all over his hands, wash off his spilt seed and be done with it, but you're knocking much more fluidly on the door, and you're becoming impatient.

"Honey, you're scaring m-," You venture to say, despite already pushing the bathroom door open. You're both left momentarily stunned by what the other is seeing in front of them. He is left paralyzed by seeing you in so little clothing… and wearing pink.

While you did not anticipate seeing Jihoon naked in the shower. Why had you not anticipated that? That’s so silly. Your mouth hangs open with the shock of his beauty perhaps.

Has it truly been that long?

In the same breath, Jihoon's lungs are wiped clean as he stares at you through the glass. His breathing is heavy, ghosting over the glass while his broad chest rises and falls. He is nothing but darkened hooded eyes. Eyes that ravage the sight of you in your lacy pink underwear, underwear that he had not seen anywhere. Where did you get that? When did you get that? Myriad thoughts swirl in Jihoon's mind, each more sinister and lustful than the last because you look so completely innocent and so soft standing by the door, arms at your side while the dressing gown hangs lazily off of your shoulders.

After a moment of silence, Jihoon decides to stop this nonsense by leaning back slightly. His long black hair still dripping down the sides of his face and his tongue skates over his bottom lip as he says,

“We should not be this surprised to see each other naked,” He says, a deep voice ringing out through the acoustics of the bathroom, “We are a couple, last I checked.”

When you do not respond, he tilts his head downward, letting an even deeper shadow cast over his eyes as he scans you from head to toe. For an innumerable amount of minutes all is quiet. It feels as though the world had been rid of noise, like you had teleported back in time, to a Charlie Chaplin motion picture. A world of absolute silence.

You begin to wonder how you might respond because surely, you cannot stand here, gawking at him for the rest of your merry life.

Before you could even think of adding to the silence with anything, anything at all, Woozi keeps his ice cold gaze on you, as he leans his head against his forearm, the one still positioned against the shower glass and he resumes his movements of languidly stroking his thick cock buried in his tight fist.

Your mouth runs dry as your eyes betray you, finally venturing down to watch him. You seem to have forgotten just how beautiful your boyfriend truly was, taking in his damp locks kissing his shoulders. He is all solid lines with a sculpted torso and you feel as if you never even knew him at all.

"Jihoon," Your voice quivers with immense passion but he silences you immediately.

"Don't ruin this. Please don't-"

"I wanna help." His mouth snaps shut but he can feel himself twitch in his palm. Jihoon's breath grows hot as you step closer and closer and he squeezes his cock, as the overall scent of you forces its way through his nose and into his brain. You're so utterly addicting, Jihoon's hand strokes almost instinctively, his hips even venturing to push his cock into his palm as he follows your every movement.

"I want you to tell me what to do," You finally say, letting the silk gown fall to the floor as you step into the shower, lingerie and all. Jihoon's mind has completely descended into lechery while his hooded eyes watch you with nothing but adoration.

"Your knees." Is all he is able to force out, "I need you on your knees," He whispers an incredibly hoarse, "Please," that has you falling to his feet automatically. The movement immediately had Jihoon's reeling.

"Fuck," He whispers, the sound of complete awe rushing straight to your core as he finally let's all his inhibitions wilt away with the rest of his manners. Jihoon is quick to bury his fingers into your hair with a roughness you're surprised to see. Surprised but far from disappointed.

"Open your mouth," He instructs, despite already prying your mouth open with his thick fingers, forcing your teeth open as if you were his plaything all while craning your head backwards.

Once he gets your mouth open, Jihoon is insatiable. He immediately bends down and crashes his lips into yours, letting his tongue invade the inside of your mouth like his life depended on it. It's a manic, passionate and domineering kiss, neck that had you moaning into his open mouth as your tongue wrestled with his.

"I'm gonna fuck your mouth now, okay?" His tone however, lets you know that he is not asking, not really, but you nod anyway, unsure of who or what has come over you. All you're really sure of is that you want to make him feel good. The goal, the satisfaction of it is building so fantastically inside of you, pushing through your arteries, steadily soaking your panties with arousal and eliciting a slightly wayward kind of dizzying emotion inside of you all at once.

"Tell me," he says, and you're forced to crane your head back as he straightens his form. "Tell me to fuck your stupid little mouth. Tell me it's what you want." His jaw is locked tight as his hand once again encloses around his sensitive dick. He refuses to give you anything, however, unless he hears you submit to him fully and completely. He feels like he needs to hear the words. Some part deep in his monkey brain needs the confirmation from the source, as if hearing you say such nasty, horrible things would increase his already heightened arousal.

"Please, Fuck my mouth, Jihoon!" In any other instance you might have been shocked at the words flowing out of your mouth, but your cunt is absolutely dripping through the fabric and your hand immediately dives down to cup your pussy through your panties as you look up at him and say, "Please fuck my slutty little mouth, Jihoon! I fucking want you to, pleasepleaseplease-"

"Such a slut- such a pretty little slut-" you'd never heard Jihoon's voice crack the way it just did and you really wish to hear that beautiful sound again. His hand is once again in your hair while his other hand is on your jaw. He pushes a finger inside until he's flattening your tongue and craning your neck even further back. You're momentarily confused, trapped in a haze of stupid lust before Jihoon hovers above you and spits directly into your mouth.

You're moaning, and keening and Jihoon is already forcing his cock all the way inside your mouth.

"Your mouth-" His voice is hoarse as he eases his cock inside the warmth of your mouth. He cannot take his eyes off of you, his beautiful, brilliant girl taking his cock so far into your mouth while you had taken to humping your own hand like an insatiable little slut.

"Fuck baby," He murmurs, letting the tip of cock meet the very back of your throat before inching out again, "is my little girl really getting turned on from sucking cock?" His humiliation is punctuated by a sharp and powerful thrust, one that has you seeing stars and your vision blurring as you fight to keep him inside your mouth. "You don't even have to do anything," He says through gritted teeth, "I'm doing all the work fucking this tiny little mouth of yours, aren't I?" You can feel how turned on he is. He's fucking huge inside your mouth as he slides himself to and fro like his life depended on it.

"God you're so beautiful like this," He whispers, "You're so fucking beautiful taking my cock like a good little whore."

Jihoon's gaze lowers down to where your hand has taken to pushing aside your panties and rubbing swift wet circles on your clit.

"You're not gonna cum like that," He says, almost immediately stilling his frantic hips, "when you cum, it's gonna be because of me, understand?" His grip on your forearm is solid as he pulls you up from off the shower floor. You're absolutely limp in his hands, breath heavy as he brings you close to him. There is a silent, almost tender exchange, with him breathing heavily in your face while you stare wide eyed up at him.

Soon, he's spinning you around with his hands digging into your sides as he presses your front against the fogged up glass. Letting your tits push against the cool, wet surfaces, he draws your hips to his.

Before he sinks his cock into you, a very strange thing happens. Soft pillowy lips brush against your shoulder blade, eliciting a sharp gasp from you.

"Thank you," He whispers before sinking his cock into you with determination. He bottoms out faster than you anticipate, all while you've taken to moaning and whimpering like a mad woman. Your sounds egg him on, until he's rutting his twitching cock inside of you, desperately searching for the alleviation of a budding and aching need inside him.

"You feel so fucking good, you know that?" You hear him behind you. Feel him behind you. Your walls stretch and contract around his cock who continues to bully your insides.

"F-Fuck, Jihoona-"

"Fuck, you're squeezing me, Princess," Your orgasm sneaks up on you pile the devil himself, stripping you of your dignity as you push your hips backwards, almost instinctively forcing his cock deeper as you fucked yourself back onto him. Jihoon's mind is absolutely deranged with lust. He sinks his nails into the softness of your sides and he pulls your hips impossibly closer. He fucks you like a madman, his cock is fluid and quick, pushing against that particular cushion of nerves that has your orgasm feeling like an absolute lifetime. Your panties that had been carelessly pushed aside creates a second later of friction that has him so dangerously close to the edge.

"I'm going to cum inside you." He states while never letting himself stop fucking you, "Fuck- I'm going to cum inside you-" It's the hardest you've ever seen him cum before. His hair is messy and a darker shade under the wetness of the shower, his eyes are hooded and glossy and his body is shuddering against you, overcome by a wave of vicious shocks as he stutters and empties his balls deep inside of you. His cock is forced deeper than it's ever been and you're made completely full of his load. Jihoon is utterly spent as he lowers his weight onto your back. Letting a sea of kisses reign down on your back as your heavy breathing fills the warm and damp air.

"You look so fucking beautiful," He says, never letting his pecks against your back stop, "so fucking gorgeous." That seems like apology enough, on both parts.

639 notes · View notes

xhmeusworld · 3 months

Text

keep on the sunny side | lee jihoon

genre: paramedic! jihoon, single parent! reader, fluff

pairings: lee jihoon x gender neutral reader

warnings: seizures, child injury, medical terms (not a lot but some), jihoon does cpr

word count: 1.7k

note: okay so i work in a hospital and i love paramedics so paramedic jihoon was born. i may return back to this idea if you guys were like me too :)

lee jihoon wasn’t the type that expressed his emotions freely. it wasn’t that he didn’t feel them. truly, he felt everything deeply.

anger, sadness, excitement. they consumed his very existence, but in his line of work, it was just easier to pretend that he felt nothing. it was easier to get through the day if he remained as stoic as possible.

his coworkers often questioned him about the front he created. did seeing sickness and death 24/7 not affect him at all? how could he move from a fatality call to a car accident without even showing a hint of grief? only his partner, a boy named minghao, understood that jihoon was indeed deeply affected by the things he encountered.

so deeply affected that the only thing he could do to survive was to shove the feelings deep inside, not allowing them to resurface.

however, there’s one thing he always remembers.

eight.

that’s how many children jihoon had lost in his career.

it was honestly rare that he and minghao received calls involving children. it had been a couple of years since the last one, but the universe seemed to decide that tonight was the night to reset the cycle.

the call came in around two in the morning. jihoon never heard the 911 call itself or read the transcript. the information was just relied to him and minghao in an urgent manner and then they were off.

the ride would have been peaceful if jihoon wasn’t on duty. the streets were empty, the stores were closed. everything was at peace.

that was until the sound of sirens cut through the night, ruining and disturbing any sense of tranquility that had existed.

unit 205, we have a five-year old male unresponsive as a result of a grand-mal seizure. there has been documented history of cerebral palsy since birth, but his mother reports no history of seizures prior.

when minghao and jihoon reached the scene, racing up to the apartment number that given to them by dispatch, jihoon only had one thought in his mind.

please don’t let this be number nine.

jihoon didn’t even have time after he knocked on apartment 24 to ask questions because as soon as the door flew open, he immediately knew that he and minghao needed to act. now.

a five-year old boy was on the living room floor, convulsing. a dark blue guardian helmet covered what appeared to be his unruly black hair and jihoon breathed a sigh of relief that at least there was no possibility of head trauma.

“i- i don’t know what happened,” you stuttered out. “noori just woke up and we were sitting on the couch together and he started having a seizure. he’s never had one before!” a sob escaped your lips. “please, you have to save my baby. he’s all I have!”

minghao and jihoon quickly got to work to administer diazepam, which was meant to immediately stop the seizure. jihoon hated using diazepam as it had to be used rectally and he thought it took all respect away from the patient, but he had no other choice as a result of the boy’s unconscious state.

jihoon rolled the young boy into his side as gently as he could muster in a hurry as minghao carefully gave the diazepam. thankfully, it worked like it was supposed to and the boy’s muscles instantly relaxed.

you let out a breath you didn’t know you had been holding, but jihoon knew it was too soon to start celebrating. he was proven right when minghao searched for a pulse.

“he’s not breathing! start compressions!”

without hesitation, jihoon pressed his hands into the little boy’s chest, counting the all too familiar numbers out, his voice sounding exhausted. “1, 2, 3… he tried to ignore the sickening crack that sounded, signaling that he had broken the boy’s ribs.

“come on, noori, breathe for me,” the dark-haired boy begged, hitting thirty and stopping the compressions as minghao yelled “hold!” his partner’s fingers reached out to feel for a pulse. “start again!”

jihoon resumed his position. “1, 2, 3…” he tried to ignore the cries from you who was currently being consoled by the other paramedics who had just arrived as backup.

strands of his dark hair fell out of his small ponytail, covering his face and he cursed over the fact that he hadn’t found the time to get a much needed haircut.

“hold!” jihoon paused the compressions. “resume, no pulse!”

starting the third set of compressions caused a huge sense of panic to run through lee jihoon. most child patients responded by the second set and here he was on number ten of a third.

all he could repeat was please don’t be number nine.

“jihoon, i think we have to call it,” minghao spoke, quietly, hoping to god you didn’t hear him over the other paramedics. “his heart isn’t beating.”

one word popped into jihoon’s mind.

no.

and he kept going.

and thank god he did because almost if the young boy knew that he was about to ruled dead, his eyes flew open and he sucked in a breath.

“noori, my son, my sweet boy,” you cried as jihoon finally relaxed his tense muscles.

he did it. lee jihoon didn’t reach number nine.

•••

months had passed since jihoon and minghao loaded the young boy and you into an ambulance. you had your entire attention on your son as to be expected, but as jihoon monitored noori’s vitals and ensured the seizures were not going to resume, he had to force himself to not look at your face.

the dark-haired boy thought you were one of the most beautiful human beings he had ever seen and the pure love you had for your child made jihoon even more attracted to you. he attempted to shove the thoughts into the back of his mind as best as he could.

he was doing his job. that was it.

and that’s what he kept telling himself even as he sat staring at his computer at his local coffee shop.

jihoon had decided to take a day off to get caught up on necessary tasks he could do remotely. he had completed most of everything he needed to do, but his thoughts were so tangled with you that he didn’t even notice that someone was stumbling toward him until he felt weight in his lap.

he looked down to see a familiar sweet face.

“oh my god, I’m sorry! normally, he doesn’t just run up to new people and oh-“ recognition dawned on the your face as jihoon watched you take in his features.

the dark-haired boy smiled as he patted the head of the boy who was lying across his lap. “it’s nice to see you again.” noori’s guardian helmet dug into jihoon’s thighs. it did not feel pleasant and he was sure there were going to be bruises covering him tomorrow, but he didn’t mind. this boy had touched his heart in many ways.

while he was aware that noori had survived and recovered days after he saved his life, jihoon couldn’t stop himself from thinking about not only the boy, but you as well. were you holding up okay? did the hospital provide you any resources to help with noori’s care since it was just you as the caretaker? how were you surviving everything on your own?

minghao teased him that he had a crush on you. jihoon insisted that he was just concerned, but now looking at you in the cafe and knowing that your son had formed an attachment to him as well, maybe his partner was right.

his heart was beating quick. his palms felt sweaty. and he desperately tried to ignore the utter joy that entered his heart when you beamed at him. him and your son.

“i thought after noori’s episode i wouldn’t see you again to thank you,” you explained. “you saved his life. you helped me keep my son and i didn’t know if i could reach out to you because HIPAA laws and-“

jihoon couldn’t control the the smile that crawled onto his face at your rambling. god, it was cute. you were cute.

“you don’t have to thank me at all,” he explained. “i was doing my job.” jihoon patted noori’s shoulder one more time as the young boy shifted awkwardly into a sitting position. “it looks like noori remembers who i am.”

you tucked your hair behind your ear, almost shyly. “yeah, once he was at the hospital, i don’t he understood that you were a paramedic. although he can’t talk, i could tell he wondered why you weren’t coming into his hospital room.”

noori slowly got to his feet, wobbling his way back to you, his guardian helmet resting against your thigh. almost instinctively, you wrapped your arm around him.

“well, i would have checked on him but once you guys were out of my care, I didn’t have any information to find where you guys went,” jihoon stated, shutting his laptop. “but i’m glad I get to see you guys now.”

you grinned. “we’re glad to see you too, jihoon.”

you knew his name? he was going to die.

“and i absolutely hate to cut this conversation short, but noori has a doctors appointment in about half an hour and we should start heading that way.”

jihoon nodded, his brain turning into a thousand of circles. he didn’t want you to leave. “oh okay. maybe I’ll see you around?”

“yeah, maybe.” there’s your cute smile again. “bye, jihoon.”

“bye y/n. bye noori.”

you started toward the exit to the coffee shop something in jihoon’s mind told him that he couldn’t let you walk away. he absolutely couldn’t and before he knew it, he was on his feet.

lee jihoon wasn’t the type that went for what he wanted. it was easier to just let things happen naturally. no point in interfering with the universe. if didn’t happen without him doing anything, then it wasn’t meant to be.

but you were different. he knew you were different and he couldn’t just let you and your son walk out the door.

“hey, y/n, wait!”

you jumped at the sound of jihoon’s voice, your hand tightening around noori’s. your other hand pressed against the door of the coffee shop, holding it open. you were shocked by the boy racing up to you and the only word that seemed to leave your mouth was “yes?”

now that jihoon had your attention, his courage was almost completely gone. what if you said no? what if you laughed in his face? he was just a paramedic. you weren’t obligated to tell him yes just because he saved your son’s life.

the dark-haired boy awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck as he studied your face, looking for any sign of discomfort.

“um, uh- would you like to go on a date sometime?”

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sisterofsomeone · 2 months

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SisterofSomeone's Masterlist!

Hiya! I'm SisterofSomeone, otherwise known as Caitlin. I'm 23 and am slowly coming back to into the world of fanfiction writing. So here is my very barebones masterlist, and some little insights into some fics I have planned, enjoy! If you would like to be added to my tag list just send me a message or comment on here, I’d be more than happy to add you 🥹💜

Just as a little warning, I won't write: full non-con (cnc and dub-con are allowed), minors, excessive gore, full incest (e.g. brother x sister, but step brother x step sister is cool with me), pregnancy scares/unplanned pregnancy, more may be added as I think of them and I always hold the right to not answer/write for whatever reason I want :)

Seventeen

Choi Seungcheol

WIP: Seeing You After All This Time - Summary: Seungcheol, that gummy smiled, annoying boy you grew up with would always have your heart. Even if it seemed like he didn’t want it anymore. Warnings: idol!Seungcheol x idol!fem!reader, lovers to exes to lovers, angst, fluff, mentions of depression/insomnia, mentions of self-harm/self-harming behaviour, references to disordered eating, bodyweight comments (but no actual numbers), swearing, established relationship, (more will be added as the series goes on!)

Yoon Jeonghan

WIP: In the Blind Spot - Summary: You’re Seungcheol’s little sister. Innocent and sweet. He’s always said you’re completely off limits to all the boys. You’re 2 years younger than Chan for fucks sake, way too young for any of the rabble. But unbeknownst to him, you’re being hounded by some of his best friends. Just can’t let big brother find out you’re not exactly opposed to spending some ‘one on one’ time with them. Got to get the deed done in his blind spot. Warnings: idol!Chan x fem!reader, idol!Seokmin x fem!reader, idol!Jeonghan x fem!reader, idol!Mingyu x fem!reader, swearing, smut MDNI 18+,

Hong Joshua

WIP: The Three Musketeers - Summary: When the boys are on tour they like to wind down with some good food, good drinks, good music, and good company. So when you’re batting your eyelashes at them in the hotel bar, they know they’re in for a good evening. Warnings: idol!joshua x fem!reader x idol!Seokmin x idol!Jihoon, smut MDNI 18+, unprotected sex, pet names, foursome

Wen Junhui

nothing here yet sadly :(

Kwon Soonyoung

nothing here yet sadly :(

Jeon Wonwoo

Until Death Do Us Part - Summary: On a wedding day in Baldur’s Gate, a marriage is sealed with a sanctified bond. A powerful magic that allows your minds to meld and cannot ever be undone. It is also required to share your darkest secret for the bond to be bestowed. There is a common myth passed around that once, a very long time ago, a woman was tricked into marriage by a demon of sorts and only found out when they wed. Every wedding at that moment the room falls silent, waiting for another scream, another myth making secret to be revealed. You just never thought you would be witness to it. Series Warnings: Wonwoo x fem!reader, slight Seokmin x fem!reader (because I can't help myself), established relationship/situationship, angst, fluff, swearing, drinking, smoking, there are references to end game BG3 and spoilers for the whole game so please proceed with caution! smut MDNI 18+, unprotected sex, pet names (baby girl, pretty girl, princess), oral sex (male and female receiving), breeding kink, slight daddy kink, size kink, reader has a vagina that gets described as a pussy/cunt, slight dub-con for a second then clear consent, (more will be added as the series goes on!)

Lee Jihoon

Lee Seokmin

Self Destruction - Summary: Lee Seokmin. No words could describe your love for him, how your heart raced when he was near. But you two were growing apart, his eyes and hands wandering away from yours. Now you harboured a growing hatred for the man you once loved so dearly, and as much as you wanted it to stop growing, he just kept adding fuel to the fire. Warnings: toxic!Seokmin x toxic!fem!reader, slight Wonwoo x reader, established relationship, lovers to enemies to ???, ANGST!!!, swearing, cheating, smut MDNI 18+, unprotected sex, pet names (baby girl, pretty girl), oral sex (male receiving)

WIP: Friendzoned - Summary: Warnings:

Kim Mingyu

Xu Minghao

nothing here yet sadly :(

Boo Seungkwan

nothing here yet sadly :(

Chwe Vernon

WIP: Secret Player Two - Summary: You’re enjoying a solo, quiet night in while your boyfriend is away at Milan fashion week by playing your new favourite video game when there's a knock at the door. When you invite Vernon in to chill with you, you never imagined the effect a video game sex scene might have on your, well, frustrated new player two. Warnings: idol!Vernon x idol!fem!reader, swearing, cheating, smut MDNI 18+,

Lee Chan

WIP: Friendzoned - Summary: Warnings:

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wongyuseokie · 1 year

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Ruby Lips | l.j.h

Summary: Your boyfriend looks incredibly hot while working and you can’t help but get distracted.

☆ 18+ minors dni |☀︎fluff | ♕ smut | ♥ completed works

Word Count: 709 words

Pairings: Lee Jihoon x Female Reader

Genre/Trope(s)/AUs: PWP, Established relationship

Content Warnings: Smut, fluff, reader tries to distract Jihoon, mentions of red lingerie. Honestly, minimal plot because all I can think about with Jihoon is a good ol’ romp in the studio. Smut Warnings: Oral sex (male receiving).Cum swallowing, deep throating. Semi-public sexual behaviours, they fool around in his studio. Praise kink. Name-calling (he calls her kitten)

Authors Note 1: Thank you, my lovely @the-boy-meets-evil, for beta'ing this fic for me!! 💕 Love you dearly 💕 Banner Credits: @classicscreations Tagging: @baljinciaga, @angelwoozi & @onlymingyus because it's Jihoon 💕 Cross Posted to AO3 © wongyuseokie 2023. All rights reserved.

“Babe.”

“Y/N.”

“I’m hungry,” you complained.

“Ten more minutes,” your boyfriend replied.

“Jihoon, you said that thirty minutes ago, ” you pointed out. While you were complaining, there was no real anger in your voice. You loved watching your boyfriend work. It was incredible watching him be so passionate about his music and his craft, frankly speaking. It was also very arousing.

“Jihoon, I even wore something special for you,” you said playfully as you got up from the couch and inched towards your boyfriend, opting to sit on his lap. You smiled as he wrapped one arm around your waist, and his hand rested on the swell of your ass.

“Hi, kitten,” Jihoon greeted, a playful smirk on his lips.

“God, I love when you call me that,” you noted, almost moaning.

“I know. I’m pretty sure if I were inside you, you’d be clenching,” Jihoon teased, making you scoff at the accuracy.

“Shut up,” you mumbled as you buried your face in the crook of his neck.

“You’re cute when you’re shy,” Jihoon said, making you squirm in his lap. “Now, what did you wear for me?”

You moved your face away to stare at him.

Deliberately, you pulled off your hoodie–well, his hoodie–and Jihoon’s eyes widened as he took in the red lace bra.

“Oh, you play dirty,” Jihoon whined, and you shrugged.

“I thought you liked the colour. You sang about it,” you joked. “Do you want to see the panties?”

You didn’t wait for an answer as you moved in his lap and pushed your leggings down a bit to expose the red lace.

“Shit, these are red, too,” Jihoon said with a smirk that made you grin.

“You like?”

“Very much.”Jihoon sighed because his will was frayed. “Ten more minutes, kitten, and then we can eat,” you shrugged and leaned forward to kiss him. You latched your lips onto his neck and sucked, sure to leave a mark and just as sure to run your tongue over it after. You couldn’t do it very often and had to be careful, so you took great pride in the marks tonight. You knew that you’d get shit from him later, but the way he was bucking his hips, you knew he liked every second of it.

“Kitten,” Jihoon warned with no real power in his voice. “Now, you, my darling, are the reason I have to wear a turtleneck for some time. How will you make it up to me?”

“Easy, I’ll take care of you,” you said as you got off his lap and sank to your knees in front of him. You ran your hands along his thighs and sighed.

“Fuck, you’re getting so fucking buff.”

“Problem?” Jihoon asked as you traced his muscles.

“Nope.”

Jihoon’s eyes narrowed as he laced his fingers through your hair and pulled you closer to his hardened length. The outline of his cock was so painfully prominent through his boxers.

“Let me taste you?” You asked with a smile and batted your eyelashes at Jihoon. His nod was lazy.

“Good girl,” Jihoon said, and you smiled at him.

You moved quickly, pulled his stiff cock out of his boxers and immediately placed your mouth on his length.

“Oh fuck, good girl,” Jihoon groaned as you wrapped your lips around the thick head of his cock, moaning as you tasted him. You twirled your tongue around the tip of his cock. Even though you knew you didn’t have much time, you slowly licked up his length before you took it into your mouth and sucked hard. “Fucking hell,” Jihoon groaned, throwing his head back in pleasure. Jihoon moved to thread his hands in your hair, making you slightly choke on his length.

“Good girl, can I fuck your throat?” Jihoon asked, and you tapped his thigh, letting him know it was okay. Jihoon slowly started to move, allowing his cock to thrust in and out of your mouth.

“Fucking hell,” Jihoon cursed as you hollowed your cheeks and allowed yourself to take more of his length in your mouth.

“Fucking hell, I’m so close, kitten,” Jihoon moaned as his movements got sloppier, and you kept taking in as much of him as you could until you heard a throaty groan, and seconds later, you felt his warmth release into your mouth. You swallowed and sat back with a smirk.

“Ten more minutes, right?” You asked as you wiped your lips.

“I thought you were hungry?” Jihoon asked breathlessly.

“Not anymore.”

#seventeen #woozi #jihoon #seventeen smut #svthub #kvanity #thekpopuniverse #indigo writes: jihoon

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chan-gbinsimp · 9 months

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introduction

you can call me grae, and this is my blog for kpop fanfic (and potentially fanart as well). my pronouns are he/they, and I hope you enjoy!

groups/people I write for | rules for requests | masterlist

#bang chan x male reader #bang chan x gender neutral reader #seo changbin x male reader #seo changbin x gender neutral reader #woozi x male reader #woozi x gender neutral reader #lee jihoon x male reader #lee jihoon x gender neutral reader #kim hongjoong x male reader #kim hongjoong x gender neutral reader #park seonghwa x male reader #park seonghwa x gender neutral reader

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zaiisaii · 1 year

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🐈‍⬛ . . ! ♡ she/her , 8teen .

⌯ 🎧 . 𖠗 ִ HALF INACTIVE ATM 😭 ꜝꜝ 𓍯

꒰ upcoming fic — twt links w/ sub reader ♥︎♥︎ !!

⌯ MASTERLIST .ᐟ

lookism.

daniel park — bunny boy hc. nsfw

daniel park — crybaby. nsfw

daniel park — hand kink. nsfw

daniel park — puppy boy. nsfw

eli jang — bunny boy. nsfw

eugune — overstimulation. nsfw

eugene — kitty boy. nsfw

hudson ahn — puppy boy. nsfw

jake kim — lovely. nsfw

jake kim — bunny boy hcs. nsfw

james lee — risk. nsfw

kim joongoo — bunny boy hc. nsfw

kim joongoo — more bunny boy. sfw

kim joongoo — sub goo. nsfw

park jonggun — bunny boy hc. nsfw

samuel seo — bunny boy hc. nsfw

samuel & gun — first time anal. nsfw

various — hybrids. hcs

various — pegging. hcs

various — facesitting. hcs

yuseong — puppy boy. nsfw

zack lee — rimming. nsfw

w.i.p

jake & samuel — threesome. nsfw

viral hit.

hobin yoo — offers. nsfw

extra.

park jihoon — sleepy. sfw

⌯ RULES .ᐟ

꒰ REQUESTS :: closed. (5)

# 01 — request properly.

if you're going to request, please write it down specifically.

ex: (character) x gn reader who loves (insert here) and likes to (blah blah). extra, (character) has their first kiss.

# 02 – do's & don't's.

i do not write for rape, sexual assault (cnc is fine), age play, scat, etc.

i'm not comfortable writing for such things.

i do write for nearly all the characters.

i do write sfw & nsfw content.

i do write for any gender; male, female, neutral.

i don't write nsfw for anyone under 18.

# 03 — fandoms.

i am multifandom but the one i'm currently obsessed over is; lookism.

i'm willing to write for pretty much anything and anyone (as long as i know about it) so i don't mind.

☆ — ZAI.

#☆ — ZAI.

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rubyreduji · 2 years

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My Heart Has Gone To You | 07

pairing: lee jihoon x f!reader (side son hyunwoo x f!reader) ch notes: angst, jihoon has multiple realizations, kinda fluff? mentions soft ynhoon moments, reader is a bad bitch, suggestive content, use of bunny as nickname (like once), smut [male masturbation, explicit pictures and videos, mentions of fingering] w.c.: 5.0k a/n : i hope yall arent too mad at the reader in this its kinda of a bold direction to go but yea anyways

< prev | m.list | next >

It’s been almost a week since the “Jihoon Incident” and you’re still fully miserable. You can barely pick yourself up to go to class and work. You don’t speak to anyone anymore besides Sana who forces you to speak to her.

There’s been no word from Jihoon, even though Soonyoung keeps texting you (you just ignore him).

You’re still not even sure what fully happened in that conversation. All you remember is Jihoon saying he doesn’t need you and then storming off. All you wanted to do was see him, for him to want to see you back. You’re completely lost without him, even though he’s been out of your life for almost a month now with how little contact you guys were having before the fight.

It doesn’t help that Jihoon is all over even when he’s not here. His clothes are in your room, his smell is buried into your pillowcases, his photos are on your wall. You don’t even get rid of them because you can’t find the energy or the heart to make the effort.

You barely sleep anymore. Everytime you close your eyes all you can see is Jihoon telling you to shut up. Sana keeps calling you a walking zombie but you can’t even care about her retorts anymore.

The only people who know are Soonyoung, Sana, Nayeon, and Minghao. They’ve all been periodically checking up on you but you only shoot down their attempts. Your heart has been broken and anything they say or do won’t change that.

You know that you should study for your finals, but you can’t bring yourself to do it. Most of your final was covered with the Fine Arts Showcase and most of your classes this semester surround photography and graphic design so you don’t bother to study.

It’s obvious that Sana is incredibly worried about you but you can’t even do anything about it. You honestly just want to curl up in a ball and die.

Unbeknownst to you, or anyone else, Jihoon has been repenting alone in his studio. He’s not even working on his music anymore, he just spends the day in his studio beating himself and wallowing in his self pity. The second he slammed his studio door shut he knew he made a mistake. He wanted to rush out of the room and make it better but he already knew he couldn’t do anything that would take back his actions.

He doesn’t even know why he said all of that to you. You were completely right. He was the one who was cutting everyone off in favor of hiding in his studio. You were genuinely just concerned for him and all he did was push you away even more.

Jihoon had been stressed. Showcase time was never nice to him as he was always swarmed with his own and other’s work. Due to the success of last year’s performance, he seemed to have even more projects than normal this year, which led him to being cooped up most hours of the day. He was aware he wasn’t giving attention to any of his friends, let alone you. Being away from you for so long made him irritable and he missed you just as much as you missed him but he knew he couldn’t go see you with the Showcase so soon.

Being alone for prolonged periods of time wasn’t great for Jihoon. It left his mind to wander which then led to him thinking about things he didn’t want to. Things like his feelings for you.

He’s always sworn that he doesn’t have romantic feelings for you but a conversation with Seungcheol made him rethink that.

“Hyung!” Seungcheol turns around to face the younger boy. “Never give Y/N’s number to some random stranger like that again, got it?”

“Namjoon? He said that she wanted to go on a date with him.”

“She was drunk. You should have asked her before giving it out freely. That was stupid.”

“Jihoon I know you’re all protective over her and everything, but why do you care so much? She can take care of herself, and she can date whoever she wants. Unless you don’t want her dating someone.”

“Why wouldn’t I want that?” Jihoon scoffs.

“Maybe because you’re fucking in love with Y/N.”

After that conversation the idea couldn’t get out of his mind. Him…in love with you? Lee Jihoon in love with L/N Y/N? Could that be possible?

Despite all of his songs about love and heartbreak, Jihoon has never been in a relationship before. He’s not exactly what being in love feels like.

Whenever you’re with him he feels empowered, like it doesn’t matter whatever happens because you’ll be there with him, holding his hand, and it will all work out. Is that love?

Is love when he feels safe whenever you’re around? That he’s supported and taken care of, that there is someone in his corner.

You’ve always there for him. Besides maybe Soonyoung and Seungcheol, nobody else bothered to check in on him when he closed himself off. But without a doubt you would be there dragging him out of the apartment to go get lunch together or take him to go check out the new bookstore that opened up downtown. Just seeing your smiling face could make all of his stress melt away.

When you press soft kisses to his face and he feels a comfortable warmth spread throughout his whole body, is that love?

He thinks about you all the time, even if he doesn’t realize he’s doing it. You inspire his work and push him to be a better person. There’s nobody else in his life who means the world to him the way you do.

Is he in love because out of everyone in the entire world, even out of supermodels and celebrities, he would choose you? And that he wants you to choose him back, no matter what. Through the good days and the bad days, through all of his highs and lows, he wants you to choose him and nobody else.

Jihoon can’t imagine you being with anyone else other than him. He doesn’t want other men to flirt with you and he wants all of the special moments to be between you and him, nobody else. He doesn’t even want to think about anyone else kissing you or playing with your hair or anything he does with you. He wants to be the only one who does that to you.

If he is in love with you, where has it been hiding? Why hasn’t he figured it out before now? Was the love hiding in intertwined hands and whispered jokes? Was it in the late night adventures and early morning cuddles? Jihoon wonders if your love was hidden in movie nights and grocery shopping.

Jihoon can’t kid himself anymore, he’s thoroughly infatuated with you. He wants to spend the rest of his life by your side, and he wants to cherish you everyday, and tell you he loves you with all of his being whenever he can.

The realization sends him into an even deeper spiral. Jihoon loves you, and now he’s gone and fucked up the best thing is in his life.

You won’t ever forgive him, and he doesn’t want you to. He can’t even begin to think about how badly he’s hurt you. Not just from his words but his actions as well. He’s been ignoring you, brushing you off, hell he even stood you up. You deserved better than Jihoon.

You deserve better, but the selfish part of him still wants you to love him. He wants to be the one you pick, but that’s not fair of him to ask you. He told you he didn’t love you even after you laid out your whole heart for him. He left you crying on his living room floor and he did nothing to make it better.

He had no excuse for his actions. It didn’t matter how stressed he was, he let his own insecurities get a hold of him and he took it out on you. He got into a big fight with Bumzu which left Jihoon feeling unconfident in his songwriting abilities. He threw himself into his work even more to make up for it.

Then one day Soonyoung came home from a photoshoot with you and he raved about how you seemed to be thriving. You were busy but were still able to keep up with everything and he was envious. Envious that you could so effortlessly handle the stress of your life. You could get your work done and still have time to see your friends. You were also still texting him, checking up on him periodically all while he ignored you.

If Jihoon is being honest, he’s always admired your work ethic. You’ve always been known for your phenomenal photography, even back in high school. When college hit you got your apprenticeship at your agency within the first semester of college. Jihoon’s music career didn’t truly pick up until this year and he felt like he needed to work even harder just to get up to your level. People have always sought your photography skills and you were always working on multiple projects and were able to flawlessly juggle them. You worked and did the newspapers and plays and were still able to help people with their photography needs and take care of your friends. On top of all of it you were still able to make time for Jihoon as well. Jihoon was never that good at juggling multiple things; his attention is very all or nothing.

It wasn't fair to you for him to take up your time when you had so much going on so he started to avoid you. After he realized how much it affected you, it was too late, he was ashamed of his actions and he was so guilty that he didn’t want to see you because it would be too much for him. He would then have to face his actions. So he avoided you even more.

Then he missed the day you guys were supposed to meet and he felt like an even bigger asshole. Bumzu had called him to the office to apologize and introduce him to the new project he wanted Jihoon’s help with, and he was too hyper focused on that to even remember you. He’s not sure what was wrong with him, he’s never forgotten about you.

Then he got even busier with the Fine Arts Showcase and he got into a fight with Soonyoung. The older boy was pressing him to get out of his studio, that he was being childish for ignoring all his friends, and Jihoon snapped at him. He said a lot of fucked up shit about Soonyoung’s dancing career in comparison to his music career. Soonyoung hasn’t talked to him since.

Then he still had to worry about you so he thought that if he sang Ruby you would be able to finally talk to one another and get things worked out. Everything would be okay. He knew he was guilty of not coming to your exhibit with the others but he knew that he could make it back up to you, but he would never have a chance to network like that again. Bumzu had just told him about the new K-Pop group he would be producing for and he knew he couldn't mess that up. If he was being honest he was also trying to steer clear of Soonyoung because that guilt was also eating him up.

On Saturday he was so nervous for his performance. He wanted his heart to reach yours and for you to be touched by his lyrics, for you to come find him after the show and make it all better. But after the show a bunch of girls crowded him and all he could think about was a conversation he had with Bumzu.

“Are you dating anyone right now?”

“Excuse me?”

“Are you dating anyone right now?”

“If you’re trying to set me up with someone, I’m not looking for anyone to date.”

Bumzu snorts at this. “Okay but dude, there’s no way you’re not seeing someone, Ruby is way too intense not to be about someone.”

“It’s…complicated.” Jihoon frowns. He’s not dating you but the song is about you.

“Well if anyone asks, no it’s not. You’re an attractive, young, talented guy. If girls think you’re single your fame will be through the charts, trust me.”

“Whatever you say hyung.”

That led to him telling those girls that the song wasn’t about anyone. He didn’t even know you heard him until he heard Soonyoung shouting your name as your figure disappeared into the crowd. He didn’t even realize you were standing there. It was still a stupid decision on his part. He never should have listened to Bumzu, and he never should have let those girls flirt with him. It felt wrong the whole time and as soon as the words left his mouth he knew it wasn't right. He wanted to run after you but Minghao was glaring at him and he felt like he didn’t have the right to go after you anymore.

On Sunday Jihoon went to the photography exhibit. He was hoping to catch you there but he should have known better. Your art was the first thing he saw though, hung up in the center of the room for everyone to adore. He looked over each photo, warmth filling his heart at the sight of his friends doing what they love.

He frowned at the fact he wasn’t there though. Why wasn’t he there? He racked his brain trying to think of why he wasn’t there and then he realized it was because he never had time for you. You had brought up the project to him on multiple occasions but he was always too busy for you. It seems he’s been too busy for you a lot lately.

Then his insecurities started to eat at him again. It seemed that you were still able to function without him. He could even say you were thriving. Your photos are beautiful, you had amazing friendships, what right did he have to be in your life and mess that up? You don’t need him.

Then he ran into you and he couldn’t handle it. He couldn’t handle hurting you even more so he pushed you away, only to come to regret it. He wants you around, he needs you, he doesn’t think you’re annoying, and he never wants you to shut up.

He didn’t mean anything he said, he didn’t even know what he was saying, he just needed to let out all of his emotions and he did it in the wrong way to the wrong person. He betrayed all the trust you put into him and he threw it back in your face.

The week following has been the worst week of Jihoon’s life. He barely goes to class and he only leaves his studio in the dead of night. He doesn’t want to see Soonyoung, to see the way Soonyoung looks at him in disgust.

Jihoon’s eyes flit down to the framed picture on his studio desk. It's the one that Mingyu took during Halloween. Your bodies leaning into each other in your couple’s costume, giant smiles spread across your lips. It pains him to keep the photo, but it would pain him more to get rid of it.

He knows he has to make this better with you. He also knows there’s a big chance you won’t forgive him, but he at least needs to apologize to you, to try and make it better. He owes it to you to get proper closure if you really do want him to leave you be. He just needs to figure out a way to do it.

“Are you okay?” The voice startles you and you look up to see Hyunwoo.

It’s been a little over two weeks since you and Jihoon had your “break up”. Finals were over and winter break was upon you guys but nobody in your friend group was going back home. You had too many obligations at your jobs to go back home, but you didn’t mind.

Even though you are coming into work everyday, you know your performance isn’t the best. You didn’t think anyone would notice but here Hyunwoo is, standing in front of you, noticing.

“Uhm it’s complicated,” you chuckle darkly. “I’m sorry if I’m dragging the team down.”

“No, no! Not at all! I didn’t mean to imply anything like that, I was just…worried about you. You seem down lately. If you don’t want to talk about it you don’t have to but I just wanted to see if there was anything I could do to cheer you up.”

“Ah, you’re so sweet Hyunwoo, but I think this is something I just have to wait until it passes.”

“I see.” Hyunwoo is quiet for a moment before starting up again. “I know this might not be the best timing but I think I’ll kick myself if I don’t do it. Y/N, will you go on a date with me?”

You look up at the tall man with wide eyes. That is…not something you were expecting. You think about the day when Jihoon asked you if you would go on a date with Hyunwoo if he asked and you shook the idea off. Now here you are, being propositioned by him.

“Hyunwoo…I’m kind of going through a break up of sorts? I don’t know, it’s complicated. I just don’t want to use you as a rebound.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry. Is that who that small guy was at the grocery store? Wait, don’t answer that, I don’t want to pry. But if you’ll have me, I’d still like to take you out. You deserve a nice night without thinking about him.”

You weigh your options. Soonyoung, Minghao, Nayeon, and Sana have been trying to get you to go out and feel nice for once and you keep shutting them down. Maybe this is your chance to at least try and if it goes horribly wrong you know then you know not to do it again.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay, I’ll go on a date with you.”

You guys agree to go out tomorrow night (Friday) and Hyunwoo leaves with a giant smile on his face.

When you tell Sana about this she’s more excited than you are. She even helps you get ready for the date.

“Sana I am not wearing lingerie on this date. It’s not like that.” You snatch the pair of black strappy lace panties out of Sana’s hands.

“So? Don’t do it for him, do it for you. To feel good.” Sana picks up the matching bra and hands it over to you as well. “What’s the worst thing that can happen? He sees it? Oh no you’re going to get laid Y/N, the horrors.”

You glare at her but make a decision to wear it. Not because you think you’re going to get laid, just because you want to feel nice about yourself.

You pair your undergarments with a dusty pink satin dress and white heels. Sana finishes up the final touches of your makeup when you get a phone call. It’s Hyunwoo.

“Hello?”

“Hi! I’m here and I was going to send you a text but I wanted to be a little more romantic than that. I’d go up to your apartment door but I can’t exactly get inside the building.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll be down in a minute.” You hang up the phone and tell Sana that Hyunwoo is here. She gives you your hand purse and one final look over before she’s sending you out the door.

When you get to the front of your building you can see Hyunwoo standing outside with a bouquet of flowers in his hands. You blush deeply and hurry up to greet him. His mouth drops open when he sees you but he quickly recuperates.

“These are for you, and they’re nearly as beautiful as you are. Wow Y/N, I’m not kidding you are stunning.” Hyunwoo takes your hand as you do a little twirl for him.

“Thank you, and you look very handsome as well.” He’s in a black button up shirt with matching black pants and a black blazer. The top button of his shirt is unbuttoned and the only bit of color in his whole outfit is the silver of his belt buckle.

Hyunwoo leads you to his car and you two take off. You guys converse as you drive and you find that making conversation with Hyunwoo is easy, even outside of work. You talk about how busy you’ve been and everything going on in your life and he listens intently.

You two pull up to a restaurant and park before Hyunwoo is at your door opening it for you. You take his hand and he leads you all the way into the restaurant. The building itself is nice and you don’t think you’ve ever been in a restaurant so nice before.

When you two sit down Hyunwoo is sure to pull out your chair for you before seating himself. When you pick up the menu the prices stun you for a second and you hear Hyunwoo laugh across the table.

“Darling, don’t worry about the prices.” He then leans across the table towards you. “You didn’t hear this from me but trust me, the agency pays me a hefty sum of money for modeling for them.”

You giggle at this, all of the worries and stress ebbing away.

The rest of the night goes without a hitch. Hyunwoo is genuinely sweet and funny and good at holding a conversation. You find yourself not thinking about Jihoon and rather laughing along at Hyunwoo’s stories he tells you.

Afterward as you’re walking back to Hyunwoo’s car he speaks up.

“I’m going to be honest here, I’m not sure I want this night to end yet, so would you like to come back to my place for drinks?”

You find yourself agreeing and soon you’re in Hyunwoo’s penthouse living room, a few drinks in but not even tipsy yet. Hyunwoo had put a random movie on but it’s been forgotten as you sit in Hyunwoo’s lap, making out. You can’t even blame this one on the alcohol. Hyunwoo had asked if he could kiss you and you agreed, it was as simple as that.

Hyunwoo pulls back from you, chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath. “Y/N. I know that you’re still getting over your other guy and that there’s a chance that this will turn into nothing, but I want you so badly. I don’t care if you still love that other guy, who by the way is nowhere near good enough for you, but please just let me help you forget about him. Just for tonight.”

His hands sit on your thigh and your brain is already a little fuzzy from just making you. You blink at Hyunwoo for a moment before nodding back. “Please, help me forget.”

With that Hyunwoo is scooping you up into his arms and carrying you off to his bedroom.

Trying to make a plan to get you back is proving to be harder than Jihoon has expected. It doesn’t help that none of the people closest to you seem to be talking to him and everyone else is unaware of the situation.

Everytime Minghao is over to visit Jun he can’t do anything but glare at the other boy and make off-handed comments about him. It’s gotten to the point where if Jihoon knows Minghao is going to be over he’ll leave the apartment.

So Jihoon can’t ask anyone for help and he’s not too sure anyone would be his side anyways. He knows you better than anyone else though, so he should be able to do this.

It doesn’t help that everytime he thinks about you though, he wants to just hit himself in the head and hide away forever. He misses you even more than he did before everything blew up. He never realized how much it meant to him to be able to hold you at night and now his sleep schedule is messed up even more than usual.

He knows the real way to fix this is talking to you in person, but he can’t do that while your friends are hiding you away from him and he’s too much of a coward to just text you. So his next best idea is to do what he’s best at: writing music.

Jihoon is clicking through his files when he sees an unlabeled file and frowns. He prides himself on being very organized, especially with everything on his computer. He moves his cursor over to the file and clicks it open.

His eyes go wide and his face blushes red when the photos of you pop up onto his screen. One night while you guys were still on good terms, he was locked away in his studio working on a song. He had a bit of free time while all of the audio clips transferred over and he was bored so of course he pulled up his stash of sexy photos and videos of you. He wanted to see them on a larger scale so he uploaded all of them to his laptop and put them in an unlabeled folder for him to use when he was feeling particularly needy for you but was stuck in his studio.

The photo on the screen is one of his favorites. You’re face down on the bed with your ass in the air. Your lacy red panties are pulled to the side and a pretty silver butt plug with a red gem sits in your ass. Below it your pussy is dripping. Jihoon’s cock is in frame, his tip lined up to your wet entrance.

Jihoon remembers how hard he fucked you that day. He fucked you into the mattress while he shoved a dildo in and out of your cute little ass. You were so full and you came at least three times just from his cock and the toy alone.

He clicks to the next picture. It’s a solo mirror picture you sent to him one day while he was in class. You’re sitting in your room with your legs spread under you. Your tits are out in the open and a pair of pink panties sit over your core. He was in his music history class when you sent that photo. You had also sent him a video to go along with the photo where you pulled your panties to the side and bounced on a thick dildo while whining for Jihoon and wishing it was his actual cock pistoning into you. He couldn't pay attention for the rest of the lecture and afterwards he stormed all the way to your apartment to make you choke on his dick. Before Jihoon even realizes he’s doing it, his hand reaches down to palm at his cock in his sweats.

The next file to come up is a video. The camera shakes as the phone is awkwardly placed down and propped against something. Then Jihoon comes into view as he walks over to where you’re laying on the bed. You’re already naked but Jihoon is fully dressed. He slides into place behind you and picks you up so your legs straddle his thighs.

“Sit up baby, let the camera see you.” Jihoon hears his own voice flow through his headphones. In the video he’s pulling you up so your tits are in frame, as well as your soaked pussy. “Mmm, look at your pretty little cunt, already so wet for me. Want me to finger you bunny?”

You only nod but it’s enough for Jihoon. His hand is sliding down your body and to your clit. He rubs circles the bud and you’re already shaking. You let out small begs for Jihoon to finger you. After a few more jerks of his fingers he complies and sinks a finger into your cunt.

Your whimpers make Jihoon’s dick stir and he’s pulling down his sweats and boxers to get his dick out of his pants. He spreads the precum around his dick a bit before pumping his cock into his hand. He watches the video intently as video Jihoon curves his finger into you. Soon he’s adding another finger and thrusting into you quicker. His thrusts get deeper the quicker he plunges into you, his fingers grazing your cervix.

Jihoon fists his cock to the pace he’s fingering fucking you at and he wishes he has the real thing. That it’s your pussy clamping around his dick and not his hand, that the real you is in his lap instead of just a video of you in his lap. You’re freely moaning out now and Jihoon can feel his balls tightening. On camera you let out a sob as you fall forward, Jihoon catches you and continues to fuck into you as you ride out your orgasm.

Real life Jihoon cums as he watches you squirm around. His cum squirts all over his hand and torso and he releases his dick to lean back, his breathing heavy. The video stops and he finally gets a hold of the situation.

What is he doing? Jerking off to pictures and videos of a girl whose heart he broke. He’s disgusting and shameful and he misses you more than anything. He wants to be able to hold you again, and not just in a sexual way, but in a romantic way as well.

Jihoon knows he should clean up and forget that this ever happened but instead he finds himself clicking to the next video and grabbing at his cock again. And if he jerks off for the rest of the night thinking about you, well nobody else has to know.

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167 notes · View notes

nunan-neomuyeppeoseo · 2 months

Text

⊹⊰ 𝗌𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗇𝗍𝖾𝖾𝗇 𝗆𝖺𝗌𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍 ⊱⊹

⊹⊰ 𝖼𝗁𝗈𝗂 𝗌𝖾𝗎𝗇𝗀𝖼𝗁𝖾𝗈𝗅/s.coups ⊱⊹

⊹⊰ 𝗒𝗈𝗈𝗇 𝗃𝖾𝗈𝗇𝗀𝗁𝖺𝗇⊱⊹

୧⊰ 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 - 𝗒.𝗃 𝗑 𝗆!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 - 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗌𝗈𝗈𝗇

⊹⊰ 𝗃𝗈𝗌𝗁𝗎𝖺 𝗁𝗈𝗇𝗀 ⊱⊹

⊹⊰ 𝗐𝖾𝗇 𝗃𝗎𝗇𝗁𝗎𝗂 ⊱⊹

⊹⊰ 𝗄𝗐𝗈𝗇 𝗌𝗈𝗈𝗇𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗀/hoshi ⊱⊹

⊹⊰ 𝗃𝖾𝗈𝗇 𝗐𝗈𝗇𝗐𝗈𝗈 ⊱⊹

⊹⊰ 𝗅𝖾𝖾 𝗃𝗂𝗁𝗈𝗈𝗇/woozi ⊱⊹

⊹⊰ 𝗅𝖾𝖾 𝗌𝖾𝗈𝗄𝗆𝗂𝗇/dk ⊱⊹

⊹⊰ 𝗄𝗂𝗆 𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗒𝗎 ⊱⊹

୧⊰ 𝗱𝗿𝘂𝗻𝗸 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 - 𝗄.𝗆 𝗑 𝗆!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 - 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗌𝗈𝗈𝗇

⊹⊰ 𝗑𝗎 𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗁𝖺𝗈/the8 ⊱⊹

୧⊰ 𝗮 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝘆 𝗵𝘂𝘀𝗯𝗮𝗻𝗱, 𝗮 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 - 𝗑.𝗆 𝗑 𝗆!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 - 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗌𝗈𝗈𝗇

⊹⊰ 𝖻𝗈𝗈 𝗌𝖾𝗎𝗇𝗀𝗄𝗐𝖺𝗇 ⊱⊹

⊹⊰ 𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗌𝗈𝗅 𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗇𝗈𝗇 𝖼𝗁𝗐𝖾 ⊱⊹

⊹⊰ 𝗅𝖾𝖾 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗇/dino ⊱⊹

⊹⊰ 𝗐𝗁𝗈𝗅𝖾 𝗀𝗋𝗈𝗎𝗉 ⊱⊹

30 notes · View notes

malereaderpage · 2 years

Text

out of time | park jihoon & kim doyoung

► jihoon x doyoung x male reader

► violence, cursing, angst, character death, suicide

a/n: there were many other ways this could've ended but how it ended was intended.

"what ever happened to those young lovers?" jihoon asks officer yoon jaehyuk. "one got shot and the other went missing...we are still searching for him, detective park." officer yoon answers jihoon. jihoon nods and walks away with files in his hands, doyoung following him.

"listen," jihoon says lowly, stopping and turns to the younger. "i don't know why hyunsuk chose you to, but, just, don't mess this up. okay kid?" doyoung sucks his teeth. "i'm not a kid, hyung." jihoon hums as his eyes bore into doyoung's. "come on, let's go find him." jihoon says and turns around again, walking forwards as doyoung follows. "who?" doyoung asks. "y/l/n y/n, 18 years old. the one that went missing. his lover was shot in front of him, poor guy must be traumatized and scared to death. it's been days now, i doubt he's still alive."

"i mean, he's better off there then here. our city is falling apart, hyung. punks that sell drugs are everywhere, fights are breaking out frequently. i mean look what happened to lee heeseung. he burnt to death and sim jaeyun ended up in a mental hospital because he became mentally ill." jihoon sighs, knowing that doyoung has a point.

waking up you groan in pain. you are cold, hungry and thirsty. you sit up and look around you. you have no idea where you are but somewhere in the woods. you stand up and walk around to try your find way back to the city.

you stop for a moment and start to laugh at yourself. "god i'm so stupid." you then begin to sob, your knees landing on the ground. "why..." you mumble in between sobs. "why him? why my lover and not me?" you cry out in pain. you find this utterly unfair to both you and who once was your lover. his life was selfishly taken away from you. he was only 17, he deserved to live longer.

"it's all my fault...why didn't we just stay at his house and watch the stars on his roof?" you ask yourself and sniff. "i'm so selfish." you tell yourself. "he deserves better." you cry out. after calming down you stand up and begin to walk again. you don't know where you are heading but you just keep walking. you hear a twig snap and you immediately hide behind a big rock.

you place your hand over your mouth to muffle your heavy breathing as you hear the footsteps nearing. "where are you kid...i know you are out here somewhere. you'll die just like your lover, lover boy." the sick man chuckles. a single tear falls down your cheek as you close your eyes, scared, in pain. "i'll find you kid, you will never be safe. i will kill you, y/n." he says and begins to walk away. you are scared, very, very scared, petrified even. you don't want to die, but you'd take a bullet for your lover. his last words to you were to promise him that you'd live on. that you won't dare to even try to take your own life.

you promised and you are the type to not break a promise, especially when it comes to the ones you care about the most. once everything falls silent, except for the birds and leaves rustling due to the wind, you stand up and leave the scene quickly.

it's becoming darker by the minute. you start to gather up sticks and branches to start a fire with. fortunately for you, you know there are other ways to light up a fire without any man made items. after getting the fire started was when it was completely dark. paranoia sparks up and you can't help but to think about 'what if's.' 'what if he's still close and sees the fire? he'll definitely find me then.' you debate whether or not you should kill the fire, however then you'll freeze to death.

you aren't sure when but sleep takes over you.

"you think he's still alive?" a muffled voice rings through your ears. "one way to find out." you hear a deeper voice, much clearer as you start to fully wake. your eyes open but you can barely keep them open. jihoon and doyoung notice this and come closer to you, both kneeling besdies you. "y/l/n y/n, i'm detective park jihoon and this is my assistant, kim doyoung. you two are the same age, 18, am i correct?"

you relax a bit. "y-yes," you stutter. jihoon helps you sit up and doyoung immediately takes off his jacket. he puts it around you and it rests on your shoulders. "thank you." you say softly. "may we take you back to the police station? i'd like to ask you a few questions regarding this incident." you knew this was gonna happen once you are found. you nod in response. "alright. you aren't hurt or anything, right?" you shake your head. "bet he's starving and thirsty." doyoung points out. "you are lucky you haven't been out here for longer," jihoon tells you. "let's go get you something to eat and drink before we head to the station." he adds. you nod in agreement, grateful.

after filling up your stomach you, the detective and his assistant heads to the police station for questioning. "i don't know how he looks like, unfortunately. when he came for me and leejin....when we were taken he wore a face mask. all i can tell you about his appearance is that he has green eyes and blonde hair." jihoon writes it down and nods. "great, thank you. can you describe his voice?" he inquires. "deep and rough. could be in his 30s," you tell him. jihoon hums and writes it down. "good, good. okay, location?"

"i'm not sure...the room although was massive but i could barely see because the room was dark. it smelt horrible though." you scrunch your nose in disgust as your eyebrows furrow. jihoon looks up at you then at doyoung. you look at doyoung who is sitting next to you then back at jihoon who is in front of you. they shared a knowingly look at one another. you realize that they might just know what you are talking about. jihoon looks back at you. "y/n, was it just one guy or were there more?" he questions. you shake your head side to side and add, "he was the only one me and leejin could see. yesterday too...i was almost caught but i luckily hid behind a big rock. it was only him as well." you inform them.

"was this big rock near a lake and next to a big tree?" doyoung asks. you slowly nod. "how?" you ask him. "me and my friends use to explore the woods alot." he answers you. "i'll send out a team, maybe he lives somewhere there where you were almost caught." jihoon stands up, you and doyoung doing the same. "both of you stay here." jihoon demands. "but—" doyoung gets cut off, "i need you to look after y/n for me." doyoung sighs in defeat and nods. "if you need anything, my assistant is here to help you." jihoon smiles softly at you. "thank you." you bow slightly to show your respect. jihoon nods at you and leaves.

for the next few weeks jihoon and the others work hard trying to catch the guy, but, it seemed as though he was always one step in front of jihoon and the rest of the police. you and doyoung has become quite close. you don't have anyone else to live with and when doyoung found out he immediately offered to help and allowed you to stay with him. you've found out the both of you have quite alot in common.

you and doyoung are currently at his house, sitting on his staircase next to one another. "y/n..." doyoung trails off. you only hum in response. "we'll catch that bastard, okay?" doyoung tries to reassure you. "it's been weeks now doyoung...let's face it. he'll get away with it." doyoung grabs your hand and you look at him. "no. i won't allow it. i won't let him get away with it." you smile but it fades quickly. "i miss him. it's all my fault hyung." your voice trembles, close to crying. doyoung absolutely hates seeing you like this. he pulls you into his embrace which comforts you immediately. "no y/n, it's not your fault. it's not anybody's fault so please don't blame yourself. leejin is in a better place now." doyoung tries to comfort you.

a few moments later his cell phone rings and he pulls away. "yes, hyung?" it's jihoon. your heart skips a few beats watching doyoung's facial expression. doyoung hangs up and looks at you. "they found a lead." you and doyoung hurry to the police station. "where's detective park?" doyoung asks as soon as the two of you enter the police station. "detective park told me not to tell you." officer yoon replies. you and doyoung groan. doyoung then get's an idea and grips your hand and walks. "where are we going?" you ask him. you fail to see his grin as he's infront of you. "i know someone who can find them."

"y/n, meet hamada asahi, asahi, meet y/n, y/l/n y/n." doyoung introduces you two. asahi nods and turns back to his computer. "i'll be able to find them." he says. the sound of his fingers typing away on his keyboard fills the quiet room. "they are at the closest junk yard. doyung-nim, do you know which one i'm talking about?" asahi asks. doyoung nods. "yes, i do. thank you asahi-ssi." asahi only nods as doyung grips your wrist and drags you.

the two of you hurry and get to the junk yard.

once you arrive you and doyoung come face to face with jihoon. "what the hell are you two doing here!?" jihoon whisper yells. "we want to help, hyung." doyoung whispers. "you two can't be here. get out of here, right now." doyoung raises his eyebrow in confusion. "why what's—" doyoung is cut off by a laugh. all three of you turn your heads to the direction of where the source is coming from to only see a man. he's covered in all black and has a face mask sealing his identity.

"it's h-him." you stutter. jihoon points his gun towards the man. "well, well, well. guess my men wasn't the sharpest. doyoung realizes why jihoon wanted them to leave: because jihoon and his team is out numbered. you hearing this makes you want to breakdown. you thought that he's alone. "j-jihoon i'm so sorry! i thought he didn't have any men!" you exclaim as your voice cracks. doyoung places a comforting hand on your back. jihoon doesn't reply which makes you worry.

"it's okay y/n. no need to apologize you didn't know." doyoung says softly. jihoon keeps his gun pointed at the man and his guard is completely up when he approaches the three. "why don't you guys just hand me the boy over and all of you can just go home. come on detective. i'll let all of your men go." the blonde haired male offers. "how will i know you are telling the truth you bastard." your heart drops when it seems as though he's considering giving you up.

doyoung then stands in front of you in a protective manner. "be smart." the man says. "i can't give the kid up." jihoon says firmly and you relax but your body goes stiff as hands wrap around your mouth and waist. the struggle goes noticed as doyoung turns around. "let go of him you fucker!" doyoung yells and launches himself forward to help you get out of the guy's grip. while doing so it's caught jihoon's attention. he turns his head which is a mistake and the blonde haired guy takes the opportunity to snatch jihoon's gun and point it towards the detective. "now, stop your assistant there." he orders as jihoon's hands are held high in the air.

"doyoung." jihoon calls out. doyoung stops and stands still, regretfully. he puts his hands in the air as well. the blonde haired male laughs, finding this situation very funny. "you know i wanna kill you myself y/n, but, i think it'll be more fun if...detective park here does it for me. i know all three of you are well acquainted, friends if you will." the man hands the gun to jihoon. "now before you think of anything stupid, remember your doyoung here won't make it out alive if you shoot me. i've got a sniper."

you and doyoung mentally panic. you don't want to die and doyoung doesn't want you to die. he really likes you and he at least would like to confess to you, even though he knows you don't feel the same way. you are still mourning and you need time to move on.

"y/n." jihoon's voice brings doyoung back to reality as he watches you and jihoon intensely.

"forgive me." he mumbles. doyoung's eyes widen, "no!" he shouts and sprints forwards. it all feels like slow motion, your eyes flutter shut as tears start to form in your eyes, jihoon pointing the gun at you and doyoung so close, yet so far as he doesn't reach jihoon in time. the bullet reaches you. you've been shot. the man that's holding you let's you go and allows your body to drop onto the ground. doyoung stops in his tracks.

heartbreak is the first emotion that floods through his body as he rushes over to you, on his knees as places your head on his lap. "no, no, no, no, y/n, look at me please. bare with me, okay?" the blonde haired man laughs like complete maniac. he, along with his men leaves the scene quickly, jihoon remains in his spot, staring at you and doyoung. your hand goes to his cheek and doyoung places his hand over yours as tears form in his eyes. you smile at him. "how could you smile right now y/n?" he asks. "because...you are with me, doyoung. you've made me so happy. you are a friend that i've craved for so long. thank you, doyoung."

you allow your eyes to shut and doyoung just sits there in shock, holding your hand. he feels all the energy, the warm, the life leaves your body. heartbreak turns into anger as doyoung stands up, facing jihoon who stares back. "you bastard." doyoung mumbles as he approaches jihoon, swinging his fist towards the older male, his fist comes in contact with jihoon's cheek and because of the strong force jihoon stumbles. "why jihoon! why! you could've at least shoot him somewhere else! he didn't have to die. he wasn't a bad kid, he did nothing wrong! so why!" doyoung cries out as he continues to throw punches towards jihoon.

jihoon barely dodges all of his hits and lands up on the ground with doyoung hovering over him. jihoon's arms blocks his face so that doyoung doesn't punch his face. doyoung stops and pants. "fuck this." he says, standing up he get's the gun and points it to his head. jihoon get's up immediately, eyes wide. "doyoung, don't. i'm sorry, okay? i apologize, i sincerely do." he says. doyoung scoffs and points it towards jihoon. "lame." he tells the older and pulls the triggering, jihoon gasps and looks at his stomach, blood starts to stain his clothes and he looks back up at doyoung. "see you in hell, hyung." doyoung smirks as jihoon collapses.

the last sound he hears is a gunshot. doyoung too shoots himself.

84 notes · View notes

mphountitled · 6 months

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𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐬 | 𝐋.𝐉𝐡

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❝ 𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐆𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐋𝐨𝐧𝐠 ❞

✧ Genre: Smut (M)

✧ Pairing: Lee Jihoon x Fem!Reader

✧ Summary: “Did you bring me into the studio as your engineer or your whore?” He nods his head playfully jutting his bottom lip out as if he's pondering something vastly philosophical. “It can't be both?”

✧ Warnings: Language, Established Relationship, Possessiveness, Jealousy, Bratty Reader, Weaponizing!Wonwoo, Fluff, Workaholics in Love, Teasing, Producer!Jihoon, Musical Engineer!Reader, Smut (+18), Daddy Kink, Neediness, Dom/sub dynamic, Coercion, Brat tamer!Jihoon, Dom!Jihoon, Degradation Kink, Praise Kink, Oral Sex (Male rec), Orgasm Denial, Breeding Kink

✧ Word Count: 3.9k

✧ Playlist when writing: Here

A/n: I love my boyfriend- I mean my bias.

Perhaps it was your fault. You should have known something was amiss the very moment Jihoon called you in the middle of your recording session with another artist. Your eyebrows furrowed when you picked up the phone, and you lifted one finger, signaling a quick recess to Wonwoo, who nodded calmly.

This was particularly uncanny because Jihoon never bothered you during work hours, and, in equal regard, you refused to bother him.

Out of respect for the craft, he refused to break you out of that very delicate mindset that he, as a creative, understood the significance of. Washington could be burning, and he still wouldn't dare interrupt you during work time. This somewhat sacred convenant was forged as a means to protect your relationship from your work personas. You did not particularly enjoy who Jihoon was when he assumed the sacremental identity of 'Woozi' and heavens knows you were equally as intolerable when you were stationed in front of a soundboard. You were both tyrants in your everyday lives, and even now, Wonwoo seems marginally relieved to have caught some semblance of a break as you huddle into the short corridor outside the studio.

So with a very perturbed but slightly worried voice, you swiped on the answer button and enquired, “Is everything okay?”

“No,” comes his instant reply. The knot between your brows have yet to unweave as you rest your back against a wall. Jihoon was by no means the most cheerful individual you had ever met, in fact, you prided yourself greatly on being the very few sources of genuine cacophony and laughter in his life. Seungkwan, of course, was your most fierce competitor.

Still, there is something grave in Jihoon's voice. It is a veneer of seriousness that is strange even for him. You had been able to gauge this sense of wabing patience in his tone just from one fickle like little word. 5 years in a vaguely conjugal relationship with a person would do that to you.

“I think I finally got the entire verse written.” Jihoon is surprised to find the lie tumbling so smoothly past the gates of his teeth, especially because he's normally so shit at lying. What was the point? When the person you were lying to had all your mannerisms memorized as if they were living in your body with you.

He taps his finger idly along the yellow notepad seated on his bouncing, restless knee. "We should record it now,”

You shake your head in complete discombobulation as you brought a finger to your lips in contemplation, "Why would you need my help? I thought you were working with another engineer."

His teeth grate irritably against each other, and he rolls his eyes in a flamboyant display of vexation as he exclaims, "Are you really in the mood to fish for compliments right now?" He asks tersely, "I should not need to tell you that you're my most trusted engineer,"

No matter how stoic your work persona was, she was not immune to flattery. The smile cracks the crevices of confusion along your visage, and Jihoon can almost feel the pleasure at his praise oozing through the phone.

"Now, if you'll please join me-"

“Can't." You respond. No matter how vulnerable you were to Jihoon's praises, you still remained fiercely loyal to your job. "I've got 20 more minutes in this session and after that I have to be at a meeting with the label, and I still have to go pick up that bouquet of flowers for our neighbor- you remember her cat passed on?"

"Just tell Wonwoo you have an emergency," Jihoon's reply has your eyes narrowing in skepticism. Not only was Jihoon fiercely independent, but he very rarely indulged you in his clingy side. Up until this very moment, you even doubted whether that side existed at all. "Cancel the meeting," he nods slowly, "And fuck the flowers, we hated that vermin anyway. Remember when her cat pissed in your peonies?" Jihoon ran his hand through his hair as he nodded with finality, "Fuck the flowers."

A sort of realization dawned within you, and you fought valiantly to keep the tone of self-righteousness out of your voice as you responded, “You're hijacking me from another artist.”

His hiss is instant and laced with venom, “Be glad I even allow you to work with another artist,”

Jihoon did not mean to slip up so badly, but he was also a man that would very rarely say anything that he did not actually mean.

“I don't like sharing,” he croons quietly over the line, “You know this.”

And so he let his words hang stagnantly in the air between you two, drying like wet, white linen in the wind. He pauses as if guaging your response to his raw words. Jihoon enjoyed doing this. He enjoyed giving you vague tidbits of what state of mind he found himself in without actually divulging his every thought. The ball was figuratively in your court, and he wished to see how you might respond.

Your throat clears your throat momentarily, letting your brain run rampant with myriad schemes. It was not very often that you would have the upper hand in your relationship. Dating someone like Jihoon, someone so comfortable being in control meant you constantly forfeited whatever power you had in your work life. Jihoon teased you. It was never the other way around.

"How badly do you want me there?"

"How badly do you want me to let you cum the next time I eat you out?" His voice is dripping with the weight of his threat and normally, you would find yourself quickly pushing yourself back into submission, but not this time. This time he needed you.

You are very secured in the realization that whatever reason Jihoon wanted you in the studio for - it was certainly not to record. There is a dangerous pool of excitement rushing through the conduit of your veins. He swears he can hear the titillating smile that blossomed across your face while you play idly with the Swarovski rock resting along your sternum. A gift from Jihoon. One of many.

“I don't know, Jihoon... What're you going to do for me in return? It's only fair that I'm adequately compensated for leaving a session."

"I'll let you cum tonight, I've already told you."

Jihoon is sitting reclined on his leather couch, his narrowed eyes piercing the wide soundboard directly in front of him. An egregious amount's worth of equipment sitting idly and completely untouched while his notepad sits on his lap, teasing him with its blankness.

Before he made the uncharacteristic choice to call you, Jihoon had been scrolling idly through his phone, in search of some bit of inspiration. He found himself opening his photos app, scrolling through his pictures that were filled mostly of you. Selfies you took with your face pressed against his unimpressed one. Mirror selfies showcasing what outfit you decided to wear, per his request and something else. Something he had forgotten he even had saved in his camera roll until the video was already rolling. At first glance, the scene was borderline animalistic. Jihoon's pale hand pressed down your arched back, while a steady hand recordinb you from above.

"That's a good girl-" he heard his own voice resonate through the speakers. It was like he was forced to meet his alter ego. A completey uncomfortable and fucking meta experience, especially because he was in the quiet of his studio.

Jihoon looked around his quiet studio, sensing no other infiltrating presence before he let his gaze fall back down onto the video. A deep shade of read crawled up his neck as he watched himself fuck you absolutely stupid from behind. You were both caught in a throws of your pleasure and incoherent words were thrown out in stuttering intervals.

"Fuck-Hoonie, I'm so close-"

"You're gonna cum for me, baby? You gonna let daddy cum in that pretty fucking pussy? You gonna let me breed you-"

"F-Fuck, Daddy- I'm," Jihoon heard himself swear in the speakers, and the video went wobbly before it came to a cataclysmic end. It was taken a week ago, when you both sat down to watch a movie. Needless to say, no movie had been watched because you were abundantly touchy, and Woozi decided to let you be.

Even though the video came to an end, he could not peel his eyes away from the screen. He watched it one final time before he searched for your name in the call logs and dialed.

His mind was empty, but his capacity for lust was never-ending.

Now not only was he combatting brutal inspirational drought, but he was nursing a semi erect cock that made him so fucking uncomfortable.

He did not need this shit from you right now.

"Are you sure threatening me with an orgasm denial is the way you wanna go right now, Hoonie?" He hated the self-interested smirk in your voice.

“This is not the time to be a fucking brat,” he hisses, perhaps unintentionally on the line. “Just get here,”

But the teasing lilt has yet to disappear as you chide, “Not a particularly ethical way to address your one and only trusted engineer, is it?” You asked sweetly, voice dripping with the amount of honey it would take to fill a honey farm, “At least Wonwoo respects my work,”

He laughs humorlessly before rolling his eyes. “You talk a lot of shit for someone already making their way over here.” And unfortunately, you were. You had shot Wonwoo a very heartfelt apology during your sparring verbiage with Jihoon while still gathering your belongings to make a break for his studio. You became so unnaturally predictable in his presence, like a lonely mould of clay, glistening and ready to be shaped into anything of his choosing.

Right now, his biggest obstacle is the very vexing fact that once you made it into his studio, you drifted in with your nose stuck in the air and the expectation that he is to actually put in work. Woozi greets you at the door, eyes shamelessly taking you in from head to toe while you refuse to do the same. A pastel baby tee clings to your chest like a second skin while the ends of a small mini skirt combat the summer heat.

“It's freezing in here,” you remarked while Woozi ogled you unashamedly.

“Don't fuck with my thermostat,” he says dismissively before pulling you into an indulgent hug. “I like it cold,” and his arms travel under yours, pressing your softness flush against his front. His face buries itself in between your neck and shoulder, feeling his restless limbs finally be coaxed into some sense of satisfaction. His nose brushes against your cheek, essentially nuzzling himself against you in a vaguely primal gesture and he sighs.

“Fuck, you're so soft.” His hand rubs slow circles on your lower back. Circles that gradually increase in size. Woozi snickers quietly against your skin. Big mistake.

He definitely thought he was slick.

Before the palm of his hand could skim over the soft mound of your ass you break away quickly. Your smile is professional, almost vexingly robotic as you swing past him. Your braided ponytail swinging behind you as you make your way to bring a second leather chair beside his own at the soundboard.

“I'm here,” you said, “Time to work,”

Jihoon stands idly for a while. With his hands on his hips, his tongue stabs at the corner of his mouth, “You really are on a mission to piss me off today, aren't you?”

You ignore him, choosing instead to let your bewildered eyes fall on the empty notepad discarded on the soundboard. In your periphery, Jihoon rolls up the sleeves of his black button up, flexing his arms lightly as if he was battling demons not to pin you against that very soundboard.

Expensive equipment be damned.

“Let's get to work,” You huff, prompting Jihoon to run a frustrated hand through his mid length, black locks. Effectively making the wolfcut appear even more messy and unkempt.

You looked away, agitated, with your blood pressure shot to hell. This would be a very long session.

・✧・

And a very long session, it was.

Noon had faded to dusk and dusk had bled into starlight while you and Jihoon sat stagnant in the studio, surrounded by creative frustration and a different kind of frustration you refused to give the adequate amount of time to.

Woozi murmurs distractedly, peering down at the guitar sitting atop his lap. He toys with strings while you attempt to mix and master the wet bar on the computer screen, toying with the beat until you find something that stuck.

That is what you and Jihoon have resorted to during the course of this evening.

Your Gucci sneakers are kicked off underneath the desk and the bra you had initially walked in wearing, is now sitting discarded on Jihoon's couch. The both of you are accommodating to the stifling studio air. You find yourself grateful Woozi had kept the temperature cool as you were losing a dire war with under-boob sweat.

“Hit record,” he suddenly says, “I think I've got something,”

The tone that feeds from the guitar into the amplifier, is angelic, damn near perfect, but the look on his face once he pulls the final string is troubled. He quickly jots something down onto the notepad that had been filled considerably since this session began.

“You've got to be kidding me,” You say, releasing a wistful sigh as you peer at Jihoon sitting beside you. “That was fucking gold! Don't tell me you're not satisfied.” Jihoon is only able to shake his head before placing the guitar gently against the soundboard. “I know… but-”

“But?!” You're leaning over your seat, invading his bubble with your eyes blown to saucers.

“But…” He says teasingly before leaning closer to you, letting his eyes scan over your face as he slyly says, “I'd rather be fingering something else.”

His exposed forearms flex when he brings a hand up to toy with the Swarovski necklace that hangs from your collarbone. His voice is as smooth as the sap running steadily from tree bark in a fairytale forest. It's completely and utterly enchanting and you find yourself unable to pull back and sit back in your own seat.

“You look so pretty, you know that?” he whispers lowly, and you're fully convinced that he must know of the effect his voice has on you.

Fortunately for you, self control is something you take great pride in, and your voice is steady when you speak, but your torso is still leaning over onto his seat as you ask, “Jihoon, what is this?” You are completely spellbound when Woozi brings his fingers up to your chin. He examines your face like an art critic coasting the archaic halls of the most ancient museum. He knew exactly how to get you to melt and concede. “You know I had somewhere else to be,” you scold yourself for letting the words tumble out of your mouth in a desperate whisper.

He only snickers quietly, his eyes still roaming over your visage as he says, “You know his album isn't going to be better than mine.”

You find yourself completely mystified as Jihoon coaxes you over the barrier, until you're begrudgingly straddling him on his seat. Your breath falters as your skirt begins to ride high on your hips and Woozi's callused hands immediately hug the curves of your wide hips. He's staring up at you, and you're significantly elevated from your position on his lap. Height is completely on your side but you'd be stupid to discount the fact that he's in complete control here.

His hands rub dizzying circles on your thigh as he says, “Or don't you agree?”

“With what?”

“That my album will be better than Wonwoo's,” he states his petulance so casually it has you reeling. The blood coursing through your veins only has your mind doing somersaults trying to grapple onto your steadily declining sensibilities.

“Your album is not going to be much of anything if you keep bringing me here just to get your dick wet,”

“Oh! That's what I was doing?” He gasps in faux surprise before shaking his head, “I had no idea!”

You roll your eyes to the back of your head, although you're not quite sure if that's out of vexation or the wave of lust that hits you when Woozi brings your core down flush against his lap.

“Seriously Jihoon,” you say, unable to keep the gasp from rolling out of your mouth, “Did you bring me into the studio as your engineer or your whore?”

He nods his head playfully jutting his bottom lip out as if he's pondering something vastly philosophical.

“It can't be both?”

The whine you release from your throat is downright lascivious as Jihoon buries his face in between your neck and shoulder. This time, however, you're unable to break apart. His iron grip keeps you firmly pressed against his lap, guiding your hips back and forth. A sharp shiver wracks through your spine when Jihoon slips out the tip of his tongue to lick small innocent kitten licks at the skin underneath your ear. You're positively buzzing with untapped energy that he only seems pleased to continue to build upon. Until you are coming undone at the seams.

You're not even sure whether your hips are grinding down on his bulge out of your own accord or his hands gripping the skin of your thighs.

“Jihoon, we should be finishing the track-”

“We've done enough,” he says before reattaching his lips to your neck, this time sucking and kissing violently at your sensitive skin. You're grinding down further, eyes fluttering shut as your fingers weave into the roots of Woozi’s long hair. “What if someone walks in?” you whisper, although, now Woozi is starkly aware that your words are carrying the weight of your own fantasy, “I really think we should get back to work,”

“Fuck me, you smell so good,” He breathes out, pulling back to reveal a flush face. Woozi’s cheeks are ruddy and his wolfcut is in complete disarray under the oppression of your tight grip.

You're moving your hips much more hurriedly against his lap and he never stops you. In fact, Jihoon slyly pushes his hand up underneath your shirt, his palm immediately making direct contact with your pert nipples.

“F-Fuck, Woozi.”

“I know baby, I know,” he murmurs, rolling your nipple between his fingers as your wetness seeps out through your underwear, right onto his lap.

“Shit, baby. You're such a messy fucking girl….” He's absolutely fargone under the gaze of lust. Murmuring incoherence as he pushes his hips up to meet your swollen clit. “My little girl is so fucking messy-”

“Jihoon- I'm gonna cum-”

“No you're not,” he says, immediately stilling your movements, bringing your restless hips to a crashing halt.

“Jesus- what the fuck?!” You're absolutely livid. Your limbs tremble not only, under the weight of your anger but by the strength of the orgasm that was going to wash over you.

“Earlier,” Jihoon says, “You asked me to finish this track but I don't know if I'm in the right headspace to finish it.” Your brows furrow in confusion and your voice resounds throughout the studio as you ask, “What!?”

“I said,” Woozi's hand slyly moves from your thigh, up your torso until he's resting it on the top of your head, as if he were petting you, “I don't think I'm in the right head… space,” he removes the hair tie from your hair, letting the braids scatter down your shoulders.

You immediately catch his drift.

“I've lost so many hair ties around here,” You say, “I'm sure you have a collection somewhere,”

Jihoon's tone is nonchalant as he applies a certain pressure on your head, “Mantle on the east wall, top drawer on the right. I keep them all.” he says before pushing you down, off his lap, until you were kneeling in front of him.

“Now, I need to fuck that pretty little mouth of yours, Baby.” He whispers, letting his thumb sink inside your mouth while his other hand unbuttons his slacks.

He is only able to lower his slacks enough to uncover his gardener cock, red and aching before he's pushing your head down onto it. Your lips fall open around Jihoon's cock and he immediately throws his head back. Cursing wildly before fisting your hair in a deathly grip that has you whining around his cock.

“Fuck I love the pathetic noises you make. It's so fucking hot.” His chest rises and falls feverishly as he forces you to take even more of him into your hollowed out mouth. You clench your toes and fight to take him in, until the tip of his cock is hitting the back of your throat.

“Fuck!” He hisses, keeping his other hand locked in his own hair as if he's utterly in awe of the sight of you. “You're such a good slut, you know that?” His words of affirmation does a terrific job at motivating you to allow him to steadily fuck your throat. His hips rise and fall from the couch, hitting that spot at the back of your throat that has his cock twitching in warning of his load fast approaching.

You ready yourself to swallow every single bit but it never comes, and Jihoon is forcing your head off his cock. A string of saliva breaking from your lips to the tip of his glistening cock.

“Sit on my cock-” He's already pulling you back onto your lap as if you are nothing more than his plaything. .

“fuck- n-need to cum inside you.” He doesn't take your panties off, only pushing the material to the side before he's spearing you onto his dick with reckless abandon. The tempo that he immediately sets is animalistic and hurried and absolutely sloppy. You fight to catch up.

“Fuck-Jihoon-” Once you adjust to the stretch, you're trapped in a state of interminable lust.

“Move this,” he breathes out, roughly pushing your shirt over your chest, “Need to see your pretty fucking tits,” his hands immediately latch onto your breasts and the sensation of being so utterly consumed by him as you riding his dick faster and harder.

“Fuck, just like that, baby. Just like that, pretty girl.” His head rolls backwards and you shudder as you orgasm sneaks up on you like a thief in the night. Your walls close tightly around his dick and Jihoon's cock twitches inside you.

“Shit- you're fucking clenching around me, baby,” He says, bringing his head back to gaze lovingly up at you-

“Please cum for me Jihoon-”

He's nodding non stop as he fucks up into you before burying his face between your breasts. You never stop riding him, not even when he brokenly exclaims, “Fuck- oh shit- baby I'm cumming- I'm cumming inside you-” and he's spilling his seed before he is able to finish his incoherent string of a sentence. You shudder as he paints your inner walls with his cum holding you tightly and pressing you down on his stuttering hips as if terrified that you might move away.

You have no energy to tell him you wouldn't dare. Instead, you let him hug you tightly, his face pressed into your breasts as he emptied himself inside of you.

“Shit!” He hisses when his orgasm subsides and his load begins to leak out of your puffy, used cunt.

“Thank you for helping me, baby,” He whispers sweetly. The traces of the old Jihoon steadily return and your heart clenches in warm adoration.

“That was all you.” You whispered.

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