#later this month. just 2 say i did

[mudzdale]

i probably won’t be able to make it for every day of @smileformeweek, but definitely wanted to get this idea out! :’D let’s see if i can get away with combining days 1 & 2 (”for me” and “gift”)

i’ve had the thought that while boris is attached to the idea of floristry as a sort of romantic excursion in flower language, etc, FK is a little more used to the business side of creating appealing arrangements for clientele. but at the end of the day, the flowers are all really pretty, so can’t complain!

#sfmweek2022 #gollydraws #smile for me #sfm #boris habit #dr habit #flower kid #im not good with prompts so i wasnt really expecting to get too much out anyways but i'd Really Like To... maybe i can catch up a little #later this month. just 2 say i did #anyways boris' bouquet is a biiig layered bunch of friendly affection; apology; i wish the best for you; you are wonderful to me etc #fk's bouquet is just an orange-themed arrangement but to boris it reads: i want to know you better; goodbye; let me go; justice; i love you; #i adore you; i'm walking on air; a battle has occurred. maybe not too far off the mark of reality ?

[todayisafridaynight]

journalists underestimate the magnitude of my addiction and how far i'll go for the bit

#snap chats #im lying i physically could not marathon this i got school LMAO BUT IMAGINE #my god speaking of school i signed up for a japanese history class. because of course i did #i also needed an extra class and i didnt know what else to put LMAO but i might swap it or somn #thinkin i should get back into theater..... i got like two months to decide anyway #i was thinking about how im gonna play IW during streams... if the lord will let me i might stream for 2~3 hours or so #im putting such a small time limit due to Aforementioned School but also idk if my computer can record any longer than that #when i tried saving the video to my flashdrive it only lasted about two some hours right ? maybe 3 if i remember right #i decided to record to my computer's hard drive instead of the usb since it has more space so maybe i can record longer #ill prob do a test run later today and record a nonsense video. i WILL delete it i just wanna see what the limit is #cause my plan is to just Record One -> Upload It -> Delete OG yk. Lazy Susan type of plan #didnt mean to type out my whole gameplan in the tags LOL BUT HEY I WANTED TO TALK BOUT IT AT SOME POINT #my final message is that ive Hopefully preordered the ichi statue. i say Hopefully cause i am once again doing it through jp rabbit #and i didnt get the confirmation it was successful yet so I Will Simply Wait. #point is it was a lot cheapter than i thought it was going to be <3 yay <3 #ok im running out of tags tl;dr im gonna marathon IW until my eyes bleed BYYYE

[lecliss]

I'll never be able to take the theory that Vincent is Sephiroth's real father seriously cuz I cannot stress enough how important I think it is to the plot that Vincent wanted to fuck Lucrecia and did not get to.

#once again i jest but now i have to actually talk about it #like. okay we have no proof of any actual timeline for the dirge flashbacks other than. it was at least 30 years ago #so who knows how long they were at the manor. could have been weeks before The Incident. or months. or maybe a full year! who knows #but to me a timeline of like. they fucked and like a week later vincent found The Evidence and lucercia had her little breakdown #AND THEN EXTREMELY QUICKLY SHE AGREED TO THE EXPERIMENT AND IT COULD GO ONE OF TWO WAYS #1. she knew she was pregnant and thats why she agreed to the experiment cuz there was already a usable subject #and therefore she must have fucked hojo like a week after she fucked vincent AND THATS STUPID FAST FOR THESE EVENTS #or 2. she didnt know. agreed to the experiment. fucked hojo. and therefore thought seph was hojo's and NOT vincent's #AND BY THE WAY. i dont even actually believe hojo fucked either!!! cuz theyre both scientists so why wouldnt they think IVF was the best way #okay. well.... hojo is canonically a fucked up little freak. so. he might have taken the opportunity to... get in there. #also when did ivf even start being a thing? cuz that may play a factor into this if nomura even considered that #well either way lets just unfortunately assume hojo got in there #ITS STILL AN ODDLY FAST TIMELINE #also. fuck man doesnt lucrecia have a later line in dirge where she actually says shes in love with hojo? or something along those lines #IMPLYING ITS BEEN AWHILE SINCE SHE HAD THE FALLING OUT WITH VINCENT. YOU WOULDNT FUCK THE GUY AFTER ALL THAT SHIT #AND WHILE CLAIMING TO LOVE/CURRENTLY FALLING IN LOVE WITH HOJO!!!! LIKE CMON MAN!!!! SHE SUCKS BUT SHES NOT THAT KIND OF A MESS #i dont think vincent would fuck her until they sorted out their issues anyway and that CLEARLY didnt happen. #its VITAL that that did not happen!!!! #its just. if vincent and lucrecia fucked. everything would have had to happen EXTREMELY fast within like a 2 week timespan #and im just talking about up to when vincent learns shes partaking in the experiment. it was probably another week or two until vincent died #SO. logically it must have been like #fall in love->learn about the gimoire incident->refuse to speak to vincent->get obsessed with hojo->fall in love(?) #and then thats where i think its ambiguous on did the experiment become an idea before or after seph started to exist? #like chicken or the egg ya know. experiment idea or sephiroth zygote? #that feels fucked up to say. im so fucking sorry to seph to talk about this. yeah sorry i have to debate who fucked your mom bro #god imagine telling him that. like not even as a reveal thing cuz he knows who his father is. just like as a sick joke. your mom joke. #NO OH M Y GOD I HAVE A QUESTION NOW #in accordance to him having a photo of lucrecia in ever crisis. after he reads that jenova is an ancient (incorrect btw) #does he think that picture is still her? what about when he takes jenova's body from the lab???? #oh my god 30 tag limit. FUCK. i need like a rant blog for all this vincent talk now. my brain is going a mile a minute

[altruistic-meme]

why am i sad!!!!!!! where did it come from!!!!!!!!

#ok i know WHY im sad but like bitch we were just vibing hello???? #depression go away im just chilling leave me be #i don't wanna be sad rn!!!!!! #fuck being sad!!!!!!!!!! #i know like i need to feel it but UGH #i also need to send a message i really don't wanna send to my family :')))) #nothing like bad or life altering but i know they're gonna wanna talk to me about it and i Don't Wanna Talk About It With Them rn #so #hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhggghhhhhhhh #especially 2 of my sisters cus one is the one who is closest to me #and she or her gf are likely going to bring it up after i say it bc they. idk. #they CARE and ik they do but especially her gf can be very prying about things i don't wanna talk about until she gets answers #and my other sister is the only one who has any hint about what im talking about bc i told her not to ask a while ago #but the thing is she DID ask like a month later despite me explicitly asking her not to bring it up 🙃 #so i can't imagine she will respect it this time either #which is largely why i waited until i saw her for the month before sending it #SIGHHHHH i really should just get it over with #alas. i am just here to rant. #this is fine #i don't have any ice cream that SUCKS i should order some #this is an ice cream occasion #shh ac

[sage-nebula]

I've decided to make my own post because I am not an idiot, but full disclosure that this post is 50% based on thoughts I was having while I was driving home from the auto repair shop yesterday and 50% a response to a post I saw just now that conflated "redemption arcs" (things fictional characters go through in fictional stories) with "community support" (things real life people offer to other real life people in real life) and how this relates to "fixing people" (making someone who mistreats or abuses themself or others not mistreat or abuse themself or others anymore).

Read my words very carefully.

In fiction, it is more than okay to like whatever type of toxic or fantastical relationship you want. If you like to read stories about toxic, codependent people who are absolutely horrible to one another and will never, ever change, you read those stories. If you like to read stories about a tortured man who just needs The Right Person to teach him to be better, and then he is, sometimes exclusively only to them though, then you read those stories. Sometimes you want to read stories where the main character says "I can fix him" and fails spectacularly, and sometimes you want to read stories where the main character says "I can fix him" and succeeds spectacularly, and either way, you read whatever stories you want, whatever makes you happy, I'm sure it's somewhere in this vast Archive that we call Our Own.

However, in real life?

First of all, "arcs" aren't things real life people have. An arc is something that has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Real life people don't have those, because our stories don't end until we die. Unlike a character, whose life presumably continues even after their story ends (except in circumstances where they die at the end but you know what I mean), we have to keep living day by day, with all the rises and falls that come with it. Now, this does not mean that a person cannot change, or that a person can't get better and learn from their mistakes; but it DOES mean that we can't have a "redemption arc" where we complete a checklist of story beats and then suddenly we're a better person who has experienced the necessary growth to be forgiven. First off, no amount of growth or change ever requires any victims to forgive. And second, that's just not how life works. That's not how change works. Change and growth are baby steps taken each day, and sometimes you go backwards, and you get angry with yourself, but then you pick yourself up and you try again the next day, and the next, and the next. It's an ongoing journey that does not end until you die. That's life.

But second and more importantly, the real idea that I think the original post was trying to get at, but missing the mark on was . . . okay.

So, the original OP of the post (and the person who replied to OP) got angry at the idea that the strawman they had invented (the person who had theoretically said "you can't fix him!") would deny support to someone who needs that help to grow and change as a person. The person who had replied in support of OP added that the strawman clearly believed in punitive justice over rehabilitative justice as well. On the surface, I can see where they are coming from. After all, on the whole humans are a social species and do need support networks in order to not only thrive, but survive. People such as drug addicts need support and assistance in order to get into better places in their lives, and the prison system has been proven to be far less effective at preventing repeated offenses than rehabilitative programs. This is all true.

However.

The reason why "you can't fix them" is still true, and needs to be said and understood particularly by those who are susceptible to falling into abusive relationships (e.g. people who have been abused before, particularly in childhood or adolescence) is because of free will. Specifically, the free will that each of us has, but specifically the other person. Person A can want so, so, so badly to "fix" Person B so that they stop being an abusive alcoholic 75% of the time. But if Person B doesn't actually want to stop being an abusive alcoholic (even if they say they do during the 25% of the time they aren't smacking Person A around), and refuses to put in the work that it takes to become sober and be a better person, then guess what? Nothing Person A does will ever make them be a sober, non-abusive partner. They will be unable to fix Person B. It doesn't matter how much time, energy, money, or commitment they pour into that person. It doesn't matter how much they genuinely, honestly, earnestly love them. Because unless Person B wants to change, and will put the work into doing so, then they will not change, and Person A, for their own health, safety, and sanity, needs to exit that relationship.

Now, does that mean that if, ten years down the line, Person B decides they are ready to put in the work to get their alcoholism under control, no one should help them? Of course not! They should absolutely be put in touch with sober counselors, support groups, medical professionals, friends and family who can help them. Person A could potentially forgive them, if Person A chooses. But that willingness to change and put in the work has to come from within Person B first.

I've been in the position where I've seen people in awful situations just tanking their lives, people I loved and cared about, people I begged to just listen to me and get help, only for them to not . . . and ultimately I had to accept that I couldn't fix them. I could be there to offer support when they were ready to fix themselves, but the core work that needed to be done had to come from within themselves. I couldn't provide that. Not because I was inadequate, not because I didn't love them, but because I couldn't force them to do anything they didn't want, or weren't ready, to do.

So at the end of the day, "you can't fix them" isn't about not giving support. It's about recognizing your limitations as a human being. It's about knowing that:

You cannot force someone to do something they do not want to do.

You cannot force someone to do something they are not ready to do.

Not being able to help or save someone is not a moral failing of yours.

Not being able to help or save someone does not mean you do not love or care about them.

Providing support should never come at risk of your own health and safety, physical or otherwise.

When you love someone, it can be really hard to accept this. You think, "I know I can make them want to try. I know I can inspire them to want to change. I know they love me, so if I just love them a little harder, they will want to change." Nine times out of ten, though, that is just not true. And if someone is abusing you, it is not worth the literal risk to your life to keep trying. You are worth more than that. You are more than just someone else's band-aid.

Keep yourselves safe in 2024.

#not an abuse scenario but: my mom died of covid-19 #it's relevant to this discussion bc she was a trump-supporting republican who refused to get vaccinated #bc the far-right propaganda shows she watched told her the vaccine ''wasn't a real vaccine'' #and i know this bc when i literally BEGGED MY PARENTS to get the vaccine my mother LAUGHED IN MY FACE and TOLD ME ''it's not a real vaccine #so anyway both my parents got it. my father almost died from it #my mom seemed like she was doing much better . . . except she CONTINUED to smoke heavily while both having covid #and recovering from covid #and once again i said hey don't you think you should not smoke cigarettes while recovering from a serious respiratory disease #and once again she laughed at me #anyway 2 months later her heart gave out in her sleep and she died #bc her body couldn't handle the stress of the cigarettes + alcohol (she was also an alcoholic) after covid had done its thing to her #she was only 56yo #so this was a case where i wanted to fix my mother. i tried so hard. and i've similarly tried to fix my father (who is still alive) #but i can't! my dad almost died and my mom DID die and my dad STILL won't get the vaccine #I HAVE BEGGED THIS MAN. WHO IS NOW 73. TO GET VACCINATED. AND HE STILL WILL NOT. #you can't fix people!!! you can't!!! you can offer them support if they want to fix themselves #you can help them fix themselves but you can't fix them. you just can't. no matter how much you love them #and in abuse cases it can be really fucking dangerous to keep trying. #anyway. that's my TED talk. thanks for attending or w/e it is they say

[maddy-ferguson]

failed my driving test twice, no actual friends in college, applied to a cool thing and was rejected, no bitches...thank god i'm seeing goodfellas in theaters in a few days because what do i have going for me rn

#the only ones who understand me are cher horowitz and pacey witter. and pacey got his driver's license later (i don't remember but #like i'm sure he did lmao) we don't know if that'll ever happen to me #what's annoying is i still don't think i'm a bad driver. delusions of grandeur maybe. but like yes for like 30mn after i failed the second #time i cried like while walking to the bus stop (i only saw like three people because YEAH it takes like an hour for me to go to the place #where you take the test like it's so annoying i have to take 2-3 different buses AND THEN i don't even have it. plus the money...) and #i was like you are the dumbest bitch ever but it's not because i don't feel capable it's because i DO and i make dumb avoidable mistakes #like it's just very frustrating #talked about the no friends at school thing like a month ago. we were together on wednesday and it's actually not as bad as it felt the day #i posted that but i don't hang out with them outside of school and don't want to is my point. they're like acquaintances that i'm not sure #i like #the thing i applied to i really wanted after i failed my test i was like i need ONE GOOD THING to happen to me this month and then i was #like no i can't post that because what if i don't get it. well #no bitches is self-explanatory #and goodfellas in theaters is real remember when it was already playing earlier this year but there was only one showing and i couldn't go #and i was so annoyed. there's three this time and i could even go to all three if i wanted to. one scorsese movie every monday at 1 from #now on for me please #and like i say: brf slt

[weidli]

okay one of my flatmates is really fucking starting to piss me off lmao

#i am away for. Four days. #i come back. 10 pm. the shared compost bin i washed and left to dry in the rack the day before i left is still where i put it. instead of #moving it (Extremely Simple Fucking Action) she has chosen to dry her dishes by balancing them on the rim of the sink. the sink itself has #food scraps in it. jars with bits of food still in are standing on the counter and i know from experience i'll snap and bring those #to the recycling bins before she does. i start scrubbing things because leaving My Kitchen unclean upsets me on a molecular level and she #walks by and all she says is a grunted hello #and i could tolerate this ALL FINE i could think ah she's just busy probably! but when other flatmate (beloved) and i attempted to initiate #a chore chart system so that kitchen and bathroom get regularly and properly cleaned #at the end of the month she was like well i hate kitchen duty because i don't think i should have to clean up your messes. i cleaned the #kitchen once this month and an hour later it was dirty again. woman 1. sorry for fucking using the kitchen 2. you cleaned the kitchen ONCE? #in a MONTH? 3. you did not fucking clean up our messes. i know for a fucking fact i was putting away your dishes on a daily basis i would #looove to know what the fuck you considered cleaning up my mess #anyway. long story short thank fucking christ she's moving out at the end of spring semester otherwise i'd snap and write her a very #pettily snide whatsapp message

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#ngl rn the idea that i still have to stay here working on the same stuff when a potential phd project is on the horizon is a lil soul #crushing. like god i wanna b able to read papers abt that. not work on my existing papers. or take measurements. or stay here anymore #like probably at least 6 months more. thats so long 😭 let me shed this skin #ugh. at least the decision making is almost over. one more interview and then i should have all the decisions by the 1st week of march? #and then its just up to me to decide. rn id say the school i visited. but thats plenty of time to talk myself out of it. ugh #ugh me trying to do my job: ok i have like 7 things i could me doing *starts thing 1* oh wait but *starts thing 2*. i just ping pong #between tasks and dont get things all the way done. then im like oh i need to remember X thing later *instantly forgets* but i did just #experience the glory of being reminded to do a task via calender #listen. its like my brain has holes in it and theyre threatening to destroy my life lmao #most of the time i feel like a pinball when ur just hitting it back and forth between the bars. threatening to fall between them #ay ay ay. my poor feeble brain. someday ill fix iy #it. or like. try to manage it better so im not constantly on the edge of catastrophe. but ya kno that day is not today or tomorrow #bc i am paralyzed of driving lmao and its fucking wimby out there #ugh. i miss the snow already :-( i wanna go back :-( ugh they got their hooks in me #unrelated

[sharkieboi]

my dad: “you should come home earlier so you can spend time with your mother”

me, internally: why the fuck would I do that

#shhh sharkie #I’m specifically a) lying to him about where i’m spending the night tonight #and b) spending as little time at home tomorrow as I can before I come back to the city #I have zero desire to spend any quality time with either of my parents rn #I’m driving to nyc to spend the night with my person tonight and sleep over with them #and then finishing the drive to ct tomorrow to drop off the car and then amtrak the fuck out of there #he’s trying to guilt trip me into spending the night in ct instead of nyc but like why would I do that #yeah i’d love to have an uncomfortable evening with a group of passive aggressive people who judge me and my life #and watch a shitty movie i’ll hate and be judged for how many glasses of wine I have #definitely better than getting free drinks at a gourmet restaurant while i wait for my SO to finish up work #and then go smoke/drink and get lovingly railed within an inch of my life #definitely time with my parents is worth more than that 🙄 #edit: coming back to this about a month later (2/2) and i kinda do wish i had arrived earlier to say hi to mom but still #more in that like. my parents have this preconceived notion that I hate them but that isn’t true #and i’d like as many opportunities as i can to disprove that #but also my mom is a self-centered narcissist and any slight against her is the worst crime in the world #so i’m okay missing her. but i did still want to see her. #or any of my siblings. it was just my dad and the pets. #which is great! i love how each of the dogs greet everyone #have to deal with Daisy first cause she needs to be Held and tell you she loves you #and then Dolly needs to lick all the moisturizer off your face and be a little potato #and Odie whines and patiently waits his turn but then he gets swaddled with affection #it’s a whole routine i love them all so much #and i miss my girl so much

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

right. so. i meant to be writing the thasmissy fic. i did not do that but

i can explain

#hit over the head with the obsession baseball bat #hit SO hard i think i have a concussion #i might actually be more excited for the mcr us tour in 2 months than dw now this is BLASPHEMY dsfhgkjfhg #nuts this is the quickest a special interest has ever taken hold of me it usually takes like. a season #bc it's usually tv so it usually takes the first season. it took all of s12 in 2020 #but this was like... last sunday i told my sister like 'you know gerard way? theyre kinda cool maybe' #and this sunday i was painting the biggest painting ive ever done and it’s THEIR FACE #one week ago i was like 'idk i want to like it but this music is really not my genre' and two days later i was listening to it all day #a wEEK #like unfollow me now this is gonna be the only thing i talk about for the next week #actually no thats not true ive got nothing interesting to say about mcr #i did expect/hope to wean myself off of dw but i didnt expect it to get so violently replaced by something else #better than having nothing for a bit tbh #anyway it's not really replaced either im still writing fic and making videos #and i dont think mcr is gonna become a real special interest bc it has the obstacle of having real people so i cant get too involved #so it’ll just stay a fling i think. i Am excited for new music though. im excited for the old music! #i think the obsession will pass soon tho. fucking hope so this is the worst. im so annoying abt this #but for as long as it lasts it at least has produced maybe the best painting ive ever done. i think this might be the best #aND IT WAS SO FUN do you know how much fun it is to paint this big?? im never painting anything small ever again #also i Have actually been slowly working on a scene this past week in my notes app but it’s absolutely unnecessary thoschei octopus sex #like what i SHOULD be doing is loadbearing scenes to fill in the plot gaps. what i AM doing is more of the this. #more of the garbage that needs Connecting #anyway i didnt paint the mic bc i couldnt be bothered. i like painting faces and hands i dont care about objects sorry #hashtag artistic choice #mcrposting

[icedhoneyy]

...uhm hiiii??😬

#i'm so so sorry #for basically ghosting everything and everyone on here <\3 #but alas life was kicking my ass for these past couple of months #however!!! i made it to the other side #survived the end of semester + the end of my research program #anyway #long story short: was trying to get my shit together irl and had zero energy to come exist online #again I'm sorry about the incidental ghosting and i missed my friends here sm!!! #gonna go through my asks later today but i just wanna say that ily u guys and i missed being in here 🥺❤ #also also i was a busy these past month with the elections and joining campaign events for lula #it was even harder and exhausting in the last 2 weeks due to the 2nd round #but we did and i feel SO RELIEVED #my mental health went 📈 considerably after sunday night #yeah for the past 4 years being brazilian was taking a toll on my mental state idk what to tell ya

[everiistence]

. i really do not appreciate how stressful school is sometimes ngl

#lol rant time! #probably gonna delete this later #just stupid grade crap lmao read at ur peril? #things i am mad at: myself #as per usual #but also my english teacher. for inputting a 93% as an A- like bro about to drop my gpa??? took him THREE MONTHS to grade my essay #and the semester is ABOUT TO END and he goes and gives me a 50/60 which tanks my 103% (love extra credit) to a 91% #and if all the other assignments he hasn't graded yet get 100s then i have a 93 point something #WHICH IS AN A- #but apparently fanfiction is our final? so i mean maybe i can get away with that. but then again he prob wants us to put freud concepts in #this man is a freud fangirl?? #istg #he gives extra credit a lot though bc quantity over quality #he's kinda weird #anyway i know an A- isn't the end of the world but i have tiger parents amen #also i can't deal w english rn i have to work on raising my chem grade it's like .20 away from being an A but i might have #just bombed yet another test #which could tank me depending on how bad i did #and if i have anything lower than a 91% after the test goes in it won't raise #back to english though im kinda pissed bc he left a comment praising my writing for like 2 paragraphs before going back in and saying BUT #welp anyway if i don't have a 4.0 gpa after this semester my parental units will be forcibly making me quit all my extracurriculars so 🥰 #i don't understand this man tbh sometimes he tells me what im doing is good and then the next day he changes his mind #chem is better bc im actually just bad at it #english is like idk if i can satisfy the schrodinger's grading scale #time to go 1k over the word minimum on every assignment for that extra credit tbh #tbh i was not prepared for high school whatsoever. people think im smart but im just good at bs and memorizing crap #whatever

[kyunsies]

wait okay guys nicu nurse update: i did a big girl think today :’) 

#mädch rambles #so after i passed my nclex exam i was so PUMPED i was like okay only 2 more things need to happen: job acceptance and moving out!!! #it has still been 3 months since my interview with children's and in the interview it was mentioned that i would be offered a bench position #so like waiting until a spot opens up and then they would hire me bc they currently have no openings available bUT like #they didn't say i was ALREADY on the bench in my interview like i thought they would officially tell me i am on the bench and then i would w #*wait ..... so all this time i have been waiting i didn't know i was on the bench like i thought i was in this weird limbo ;_____; #well my mom suggested i email the person i interviewed with to get more info bc getting a hold of HR was not an option DLKFJ #so i just emailed the girl who interviewed me and lowkey i was hoping she would remember me and she did :D #AND I GUESS I HAVE BEEN ON THE BENCH THIS WHOLE TIME AND SHE SAID THE MINUTE AN OPENING IS AVAILABLE I WOULD BE HEARING FROM SOMEONE <3 #all this time i thought i was going to be rejected or something ;______; but luckily i think they are still interested in me and are just #waiting like i am :D hopefully an opening is available sooner rather than later bc 1. i feel like i have lost my nursing skills waiting lol #and 2. i NNED TO MOVE OUT I CANNOT STAND IT HERE ANYMORE ;_____; #but at least now i know !!!!!!!! i am pretty relieved ngl lsdkfjsdfsldf #things are coming together slowly but surely i think !!!!!!

[our-lady-of-mcr]

.

#also god bless my friend who pointed out that im moving up and im going to be in a salon soon and will actually be doing something good with #my life vs the friend who did me this way pretending shes still in high school that freaks out and loses all her friends every 6 months #i wish it didnt bother me. and i know in 2 months im going to have brushed it off and move on like i always do when bad shit happens #but for the wound being fresh this shit just fucking sucks i hate it i hate it i hate it #i made a very very very vague post on reddit just asking for advice #and the more popular reply was someone more on my side who basically said i should tell her to go fuck herself pretty much #and the second one was someone who v obviously did not actually read the post who said it was all fluff and basically defended her even #when in my post i am saying i defended myself while still listening to the shit she says #and i fucking hate reddit bc people are so.....quick to be hateful and judge #and i knew to expect people being hateful but god DAMN like you yourself are basically saying theres not enough info (yes there was) and you #still are quicker to assume im in the wrong #meanwhile everyone who knows her is like bitch we told you to not forgive her last time and now look where you are #and i am not a perfect person i have flaws the same way everyone else does. literally everyone has said and done shit they regret #and i have fucked her over before because she lost her fucking mind on a campus manager and an educator and she told me to find my own ride #home because i didnt defend her losing her shit and screaming at everyone and ended up having to write an incident report (so did the other #girls who watched it happen so nOT just me) anyways now she uses that as an excuse for treating me like fucking trash because she finally #found out about the god damn incident report which made it so now anyone can say i said anything and she just believes it #its such a fucking joke to me because like ????? girl if we were in opposite positions you would have filled out the fuckin report too #granted it was a handwritten letter and not a report but it was basically the exact same thing as an incident report #my bad that a year ago i wrote a letter saying i was scared you know where i live and that youre mentally unstable. funny how a year later i #feel the same way all over again! except i dont because im not scared of her anymore shes a fucking theater kid who needs to get a grip #i cant wait to look at my self tag again in 2 years and be like DAMN REMEMBER WHEN THAT HAPPENED #every single person who knows her that isnt friends with her (i am basically refusing to text her friends bc i dont even want to know) #keeps telling me i didnt do anything wrong and ive given her too many chances and she fucks me each time #i just wish she would go get help bro there is something so wrong with her #self

[maddy-ferguson]

making us wait five weeks for volume 2 was such a strange questionable decision it made it seem much weaker than it is it was so underwhelming. the episodes are fine but they were like you are gonna lose your MINDS it's gonna be CRAZY and then it was just the regular thing except it lasted thirty hours this time. having to wait made it feel like volume 1 was a set up for volume 2 which was SUCH a set up for volume 2 (see what i did there). seeing it as setting up season 5 instead makes it seem much better but the wait just made it really hard to think of it that way. and them saying that it was gonna be mind-blowing and a carnage (?) made it sound like it was gonna be epic and then it was. it was literally normal except it was longer.

#and obviously the fact that it ends on a cliffhanger makes it obvious that it's all setting up season 5 (which. yes. that's how it works) #but the five weeks that lead to volume 2 very much made it feel like we were getting a resolution now #it was just very weird #i know everyone likes the wait between the episodes and yes june was a very fun time but if they do the volume thing again #i will DIE i can't stand to set myself up for disappointment like i did last time and like i inevitably will if we have to wait for more #than thirty seconds for the final episodes especially because it would be the last episodes forever #and yes of course weekly episodes would be great but netflix is LITERALLY never gonna do that they'll never admit that their model is #failing lol. and if it's between volumes and getting it all at once i would rather get it all at once hashtag my unpopular opinion hashtag #living my truth but yeah netlix will probably do the volume thing again which i hate so bad #volume 2 will never be my favorite episodes i will always think that a 150 minute episode is ridiculous but it's not as bad as it seemed on #july 1st not even just the byler parts it all seemed. not good. then when i rewatched it a couple monts later i was like oh this is fine #actually #maybe i should stop linking my potential demise to season 5 of hit netflix show stranger things #remember the jokes after volume 2 about how they willingly released the episodes right before and right after pride month #and like i say: brf slt

[nexus-nebulae]

"hey. what the fuck, man"

- one of our fictives coming to front for the first time in eight months and immediately scrolling past fanart of him even though we literally haven't seen content from that fandom much less of that character since we left it eight months ago

#seriously how is it that we constantly have coincidences where someone comes to front #and then something incredibly relevant to Specifically them IMMEDIATELY happens #scroll past fanart of a guy for the first time in months at the same time he's fronting for the first time in months #someone comes back to front and IMMEDIATELY one of Their Songs plays on our like 1000+ song shuffle #(and usually we only pick like 2 or 3 Per Guy we don't usually have enough favourite songs that it's super likely) #someone says something in headspace using some word and we think like 'thats a word we dont use often how unusual' #and then two minutes later that same word is said in whatever we're listening to like. Thats Weird That We Heard That Word Twice #anyway back on topic of the guy this post is about we keep trying to catch him up on What He Missed #but every time we say 'yea man it's been months' hes like 'no it hasnt' and simply moves on #he just Refuses #this is the same guy who when we introjected him we were like 'welcome to the system' #and he was just like 'nah I'm not part of a system I'm not in front' while. in front talking solely to the other guys in his head. #and like it's not like. being in denial i don't think. i think he's just fucking with us #because that's entirely in character for him #just the 'im not stealing' he said putting multiple things in his pocket in plain view type of energy #and then if someone goes 'no you did i literally just saw you do it!!!' 'no i didn't' *continues shoveling things into his pockets* #so we mention multiple months have passed and he's just 'nah' #little shit. #also he did acknowledge the other changes that happened so he knows Time Has Passed at least #just *finds out we don't talk to someone anymore* oh why??? :( *finds out why* Oh. :| #no fuckin remorse as soon as he found out he was like 'aight they're dead to me now no questions asked what's next'