#kinnporsche ep7 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

spaceskam · 2 years

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heliophile

episode 7 coda - ao3

Kinn watched him sleep.

Porsche was naked in his bed, face smushed into the pillows and the sheet twisted around his legs from his restless movement. It was good to have him back here. He hadn't stayed with the minor family long, but it was long enough and he was glad to have him where he could see him. Glad to have him clean and safe and smelling like Kinn’s body wash rather than alcohol and smoke.

The longer he stared at him, though, the more the guilt weighed in his chest. He was impulsive and reckless and he had foolishly let that affect the way he treated Porsche. Kinn could blame Vegas all he wanted, but insulting Porsche would always be his own doing. And Porsche had forgiven him, always forgave him despite his best interests, and he had gone home with him willingly. Even as the adrenaline faded and the intoxication reared its head once more, he stayed near Kinn.

He really liked that Porsche was like that. Almost as much as he hated it.

Porsche could only be so forgiving.

Kinn scooted closer to him, reaching out and touching his arm. His skin was so soft despite everything. All the fights he’d been in, all the scars that littered his skin, he was soft. Kinn wanted to be wrapped in him and didn’t want to leave. Being confined to his room would’ve been so much better if Porsche had been there with him the whole time.

“I’m sorry,” Kinn whispered again even though Porsche was out cold, “I keep fucking up.”

The worst part was that he couldn’t even say he wouldn’t do it again. That would be a lie and they would both know it and Kinn had no interest in introducing that kind of lying between them. It was easier to ask for forgiveness even if one day he wasn’t forgivable..

Kinn didn’t sleep well. He couldn’t get rid of the anger at whatever Vegas was trying to pull and he couldn’t toss and turn as much as he liked due to his shoulder. Any time he did start to drift off, Porsche would move or murmur something in his sleep and that always grasped Kinn’s full attention. It was just frustrating. He usually slept better with Porsche in his bed, but tonight it didn’t seem to help.

The morning came too quickly, but Kinn closed his eyes when it was dark and opened them when it was light so that proved he’d gotten at least some sleep even if it didn’t feel like it. He shifted a bit as he let his eyes open fully and immediately let his gaze move to Porsche. It was a little shocking to see him already awake, his head pillowed on his arm and his eyes on Kinn.

“Good morning,” Kinn said. Porsche hummed in response.

It was strange, actually, to see him so quiet for so long. Kinn was almost too nervous to speak as he waited for Porsche to say something. They never stopped staring, never broke eye contact except to blink. Kinn followed the way his eyelashes brushed his cheeks in some form of comfort that this morning wouldn’t end badly. He was so tired of bad conversations.

“Your ex,” Porsche said suddenly, eventually, “Did Vegas go after him?”

Kinn sighed and did his best not to look away despite the fact that this wasn’t the conversation he wanted to have.

“Yes, but not like this,” Kinn said, trying to choose his words carefully, “He… He seems to know what you like. And seems to approach you in times when emotions are high which I don’t like.”

“What do you mean, knows what I like?” Porsche asked. Kinn grimaced and let his eyes drift over the wall for a moment. It was hard to think of the right words when Porsche looked at him like that. Or at all.

“I know that he can be charming, is all,” Kinn said, “He gives you things and he’s suspiciously kind and seems to give you special attention.”

“You give me special attention.”

“Yes, well,” Kinn said. Porsche smiled just a little, just for a moment.

“You know I’m not interested in him at all, don’t you? Not like that,” Porsche told him. Kinn nodded. And he tried his best to mean it. “He tries way too hard and I don’t really like being a pawn.”

“And I’m sorry that he was using you like one,” Kinn said, “Our whole lives, he’s wanted everything I have and everything I want. It’s always been infuriating, but when it’s you… I wanted to kill him. I still do.”

Porsche grinned, wide and earnest for the first time this morning. It was a sight to see so early. He moved to rest his head in his hand, looking down at Kinn with that smile. It was addictive.

“When you say it like that, it sounds like you like me,” Porsche said. Kinn huffed a laugh.

“Have I not made that clear enough?”

“You could make it more clear,” Porsche said, “I’m not gonna stop you.”

“Okay,” Kinn said, reaching out to grab the sheet that was still wrapped around him. He tugged on it and successfully pulled him closer. “If anyone lays their hands on you again, they won’t survive it.”

“You think that’s smart?” Porsche asked, but his smile never faded as he voluntarily moved all the way closer. He draped his leg over Kinn’s and put his hand on his chest.

“I don’t give a shit. Anyone who touches what’s mine was stupid in the first place and deserves it,” Kinn said. Porsche rolled his eyes, dragging his fingers up and down his bare chest. Kinn felt like his skin was being lit on fire each time.

He wasn’t sure exactly what sort of power Porsche had over him, it was something he’d never really felt before and it was terrifying, but he had no mind to stop it. He craved it. There was no logical thoughts when it came to him, he just wanted. And for some reason, Porsche seemed to want it too.

“You keep acting like I’m your property,” Porsche said. He moved that little bit closer, his body pressed up against Kinn’s. “If that’s the case, then you are mine.”

“I am,” Kinn admitted with no hesitation, staring at him as openly as he could. The paranoia and fear and distrust for everyone in his brain rallied against it, but he ignored it all. He wanted Porsche to know. He wanted to trust and be trusted.

He wanted to start somewhere on common ground for once.

Porsche’s fingers stuttered against his chest and his face showed his surprise for just a moment before his smile was even wider than before. His hand slid back up and he touched Kinn’s chin right as he leaned in for a kiss, no hesitation as he kissed him deep and claiming. He liked when Porsche did this, liked feeling rewarded for his efforts.

“You are mine,” Porsche whispered against his mouth, somehow still teasing as he moved to lay on top of him, “I like the sound of that.”

“Then I’ll say it to you everyday.”

“Mm, that easy?” Porsche asked, sliding kissing from his lips across his jaw and down his neck.

“I want… to make you feel good more than I hurt you,” Kinn admitted. It was a little easier when he wasn’t looking at his face. “You aren’t a pawn.”

Porsche didn’t say anything in response, just kissed him and touched him even more. Kinn understood that well enough. He breathed through it as Porsche moved lower, letting Porsche have full control. It was hard sometimes, but it was thrilling too. Kinn wanted Porsche to do it more often. He just had to be good enough to get it.

“I’m yours,” Kinn said, smiling at the ceiling as Porsche took him into his mouth and squeezed his thighs, “I’m all yours.”

And it felt true, it felt honest, it felt like the only hymn he could sing with full conviction and he never wanted to stop singing it. Kinn had been in love before, but this‒this was something new entirely. There was something about him that made Kinn feel revitalized and human and free. Every look he gave, every word he spoke, every touch he graced Kinn’s body with.

“You are mine,” Porsche breathed, heavy and wet against his skin.

Kinn couldn’t promise he wouldn’t make mistakes in the future, but he could promise he would do what he could to make up for them. That’s all he could do. And he would do it again and again and again and again to keep him, to keep him happy.

“Porsche,” Kinn said, catching his breath as he combed his fingers through his hair, “Thank you. And I’m sorry.”

“Shut up,” Porsche said, but he pressed a kiss to his hip, “Just don’t kill Vegas. I think that would be bad for business.”

“Yes, you’re probably right.”

#kinnporsche #kinnporsche fic #kinnporsche ep7 #my fic

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