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chonitopaz · 6 months

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You sighed to yourself walking up to the Gallaghers door hoping and praying that Fiona wouldn’t be the one to answer the door. You knocked twice before stepping back from the door pulling a pack of cigarettes out of your pocket lighting one. It felt like you were out there forever till the front door opened and you were met with site of Fiona.

You took a long drag off your cigarette pushing past her letting yourself in, “Before you say anything I’m here for lip.”

She nodded following you into the kitchen, “It’s good to see you.”

You turned to look at her for a split second before turning your head to the side not wanting to meet her gaze.

“I guess you’re not gonna talk to me?”

You sighed turning to look at her, “I have nothing to say, I basically told you all I had to say the last time I was here.”

Fiona chuckled shaking her head, “Can you at least tell me if we’re even still together?”

You stayed silent as you walked over to the ashtray sitting on the kitchen table putting out your cigarette, “You hurt me Fi.”

“I know and I feel shit for what I did and I miss you like crazy,” She said stepping closer to where you were standing fiddling with the hem of your jacket.

“Fi, please don’t make this any harder than it already is,” You said trying your hardest not to give in to the temptation of the woman standing in front of you.

You looked at her for a split second and you wanted nothing more than to kiss her, she looked at you with those big brown eyes wrapping her arms around your neck.

You inhaled deeply taking a step back because you were scared that if you stood there like that with her then whatever were to happen next you wouldn’t be able to help yourself, “You didn’t let me finish.”

You cleared your throat looking down at your hands fiddling with your fingers, “It’s hard enough being here being around you.”

You paused before saying your next words, “It’s taking everything in me to not grab you and kiss you, to take you upstairs to your room and have makeup sex with you.”

“Then why don’t you?” Fiona questioned with a glimmer of hope in her eyes.

“Because then I picture Jimmy’s smug face and you kissing him which is what’s keeping me from doing just that.”

Fiona looked like it was taking everything in her not to cry, “Okay. Well are you at least still going to come to Carls birthday thing tonight at the house?”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea Fiona.”

“He really wanted you there. Look you ain’t gotta go for me just do it for Carl at least. Please?”

You really didn’t want to go because it was really hard being around Fiona. You can’t help, but thinking back to the night she told you her and Jimmy kissed. You wanted to say no or just tell her yes that you still plan on coming then just not show up, but then you started thinking about Carl and how much you really care for that boy.

You inhaled deeply running your hand through your hair, “Okay, I will for Carl.”

Fiona nodded shooting you a soft smile. You stood there awkwardly for a few moments, you were thankful though when you heard foot steps coming down the stairs. You turned your head to see lip.

“Yo,” He announced attempting to throw on a jacket.

You kept your gaze on your shoes trying your hardest keep your cool. Lip went over to the fridge pulling out some orange juice. He looked between the two of you with a raised eye brow.

“You guys all good?” He questioned looking at you then back at Fiona for a response.

“Yeah man,” you said.

Fiona nodded shooting lip a dejected smile.

“So where are you two off to?” She questioned trying to change the subject

“I asked her to help me with this piece of shit bike I got in yesterday. Figured I could use her mechanic knowledge.”

You couldn’t stop looking over at Fiona no matter how hard you tried to keep your eyes on anything else, they always ended up back on her.

“I’ll be outside,” You said abruptly looking over at lip.

He nodded, “I’ll be out there in one sec,” You heard him shout before you closed the back door.

“Pass me that wrench,” You said pointing over at the tool box beside you, still keeping your full attention on the mess of a bike in front of you.

Lip did as you said handing you the wrench, “You see what I’m doing here?” You questioned

“Yes boss,” He said with a slight chuckle.

Causing you to chuckle, while flipping him the bird. “Thanks for showing me this stuff. Brads been on my ass about this bike for days.”

“Anytime man,” You said tightening up one of the last screws.

“So you and my sister still on the outs?”

You stopped what you were doing reaching over for the rag next to you wiping off your hands, “Think we’re a little more than on the outs.”

Lip nodded taking the cigarette he had sitting behind his ear before lighting it, “You know she feels like shit for what she did, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her this upset”.

You sighed, “I miss her I do, but I don’t think I can trust her.”

Lip took a long drag off his cigarette, “Look I hate to say this because she is my sister. I know she doesn’t have the best track record with loyalty, but I was there that night. She made him leave and she didn’t take it any further than the kiss.”

You inhaled deeply taking in what Lip said, you knew about Fiona’s past relationship endeavors and she was honest with you about everything, but you didn’t know if you were going to be able to take her back after this.

Lip chuckled bringing you out of your thoughts, “Cat got your tongue?”

You chuckled, “I appreciate what you’re trying to do. This is between me and your sister though.”

He nodded putting out his cigarette, “Just don’t dick her around, if you’re gonna call it quits just do it. It’s driving her crazy not knowing. Shit that’s all I’ve been hearing about for the past week.”

“I got it covered man,” You said patting his shoulder.

“And don’t worry even if things don’t work with your sister and I. You can still come stay with me every weekend champ. We also wanna let you know that we still love you very much,” You joked.

“Funny,” Lip said flipping you the bird.

You laughed going over to the tool box stealing one of Lips cigarettes, “You uh comin to Carls party tonight?” Lip questioned leaning up against the tool box.

“Yeah I guess I am,” You said taking a drag off your cigarette.

“Good.” Lip said.

As you and Lip entered the Gallagher house you started to feel a little overwhelmed, because you knew that people were going to ask questions pertaining to you and Fiona’s relationship status.

You took a deep breath only exhaling till you made it halfway into the living room, Where everyone was dancing around with beers in their hands. You were just about to make a beeline for the kitchen, when Debbie stopped you rambling about some girl she’s been seeing.

You chuckled, “Debs I just got here let me grab a beer before you unload your girl drama on me.”

Debbie groaned going over to the couch where Franny was sitting picking her up. You watched her as she disappeared up the stairs a little relieved to not have to play gay therapist.

You made your way into the kitchen grabbing one of the beers from the box off the counter twisting the cap off and tossing it to the side. You leaned up against the counter watching everyone dance around. You scanned the living room your eyes landing on Fiona, you smiled to yourself when you saw what she was wearing.

She had on a long sleeved V neck showing off a lot of cleavage and those damn leather shorts she knew you loved. You were almost positive she was wearing them to get your attention. You watched as her and V danced to some pop song you didn’t recognize, you couldn’t take your eyes off her you let your eyes travel down her body.

You wanted nothing more than to pin her up against the wall and mark her neck with hickeys. You set your beer down about to give in to the temptation, or at least you were until you heard someone clear their throat beside you.

You turned your head to see Carl, you smiled at him relieved, “Sup birthday boy.”

“Sup,” He said giving you a fist bump.

“You get the gun I asked you for?” He questioned almost causing you to spit out your beer.

“Dude your sister would kill me.”

He sighed, “I’m seventeen, she’s always got a stick up her ass.”

You chuckled passing the boy a beer, “Not a gun, but it’s something.”

He twisted the top off clanking his beer bottle against yours, leaning beside you on the counter. You let your eyes wander back to the brunette you cannot seem to get off your mind. She was still dancing with V laughing at something crazy the woman probably said.

“You and Fiona back together?” Carl spoke up.

You jumped a little forgetting that the boy had been standing beside you. “Uh no it’s kind of complicated.”

He nodded, “Do you still love her?”

You turned to look at Carl shocked to be having this conversation with the boy. You remembered when he was just a little kid running around terrorizing neighborhood animals and lighting things on fire, but he wasn’t that little boy anymore.

“Of course I do, things are just rough right now.”

“The thing with Jimmy?” He questioned chucking a little.

“Yeah the thing with Jimmy.” You said the man’s name leaving a bitter taste in your mouth.

“One thing you gotta understand Jimmy is like a roach. You think he’s gone, but he always comes back and he’s hard to get rid of. Fiona loves you though and she fucked up there’s no denying that, but I really think you should talk to her. Let her know where you guys stand because it’s really eating her up. Plus it would suck to not have you around.” Carl said taking a quick swig out of his beer.

You smiled at the boy ruffling his hair, “Where’d all this wisdom come from?”

He swatted your hand away rolling his eyes, “Growin up in this house you learn a thing or two.”

You chuckled wrapping your arm around the boy.

“So since I possibly helped fix things with you and my sister?” The boy questioned.

“I’m not getting you a gun dude.” You said before he could even finish his sentence.

The younger Gallagher smacked his lips wiggling his way outta your grasp, “You guys fuckin suck.”

You shook your head as you watched the boy disappear back into the sea of people in the living room.

You stood there still debating on whether or not to go talk to Fiona. After about two more beers, and a shot you eventually worked up enough courage to go talk to her.

She was still standing with V her back turned. You inhaled deeply as you approached her. V looked at you then at Fiona causing the woman to turn around. Her eyes went wide when she saw you, almost like she was in shock.

“Hey,” Was the only thing you could think to say.

“Hey,” She said nervously.

“Can we talk?” You questioned.

“Outside?”

You nodded while following behind her.

The two of you stepped out back shutting the door behind you. You sat down on the steps as you turned to look at Fiona who followed your lead.

“You came.” She said breaking the awkward tension that was very noticeable.

“Told you I wouldn’t miss it,” You said keeping your gaze on your shoes.

“Guess you thought I’d bale?”

She chuckled, “I had my doubts.”

Before you knew it the awkward silence was back. You looked over at the woman for a split second before averting your gaze back to the ground. Your eyes landing on a twig, you picked it up tossing it into the distance.

“Look if you’re not gonna talk I’m going back inside,” Fiona spoke up lifting herself up off the steps.

“I love you, Ya know?” you said barely above a whisper.

Fiona froze, “I love you too.”

“Then why? Why did you kiss Jimmy, I thought this shit with him was over?”

“I don’t know,” She said running her hands through her hair.

“What do you mean you don’t know?” You said trying your hardest not to raise your voice.

“We have history. Okay?”

You shook your head trying really hard to control your temper, “Fi I have loved you from the moment I met you. I’ve been there through majority of your past relationships, Jimmy’s a dick, I don’t know why you always fall for his shit. Am I just not enough?”

“You’re more than enough.”

You stood up getting off the porch, you reached into your pocket pulling out a cigarette from your pack. You inhaled deeply then exhaled watching the smoke dissipate. Fiona stood up making her way over to where you were standing.

“I know I fucked up, but I don’t wanna lose you. You’re the only good thing I got goin in my life right now.”

You took another drag off your cigarette turning to look at her, you felt her icy hand rest on your cheek as she looked at you with those damn big brown eyes that have always been your weakness.

You grabbed both of her hands, “Your hands are freezing.”

“Everything on me is freezing right now,” She said moving her hands from yours. You felt her hands slide into your jacket pocket’s causing your breath to hitch as you realized just how close the two of you were.

“Fi,” You said as the gap between the two of you was on the verge of closing.

“Hmm?” She hummed.

“We shouldn’t,” You said as her lips grazed yours causing your brain to go into over drive.

Before you knew it your lips were on hers, you wrapped your hands around her hips pulling her closer. Her hands made there way to the button on your jeans.

You pulled away abruptly, “I can’t.”

She looked at you confused, “Why not?”

“Because I’d be doing the one thing I promised myself I wouldn’t.”

Fiona shook her head, “I’m going back inside and you know what? You can take your ass home. I’m done trying to show you that I really do love you and that I really do care about you. I’m trying to be a different person, I’m trying not to fuck things up with the one person who has actually been honest with me, that’s actually treated me like I matter.”

“Guess I fucked that up though.” Fiona mumbled turning around.

You stood there as you watched her make it up the first step, too busy battling with yourself to even try and stop her. You took one last drag off your cigarette discarding it onto the ground. Your eyes were still on Fiona, you watched as she made her way up the fourth step stopping in her tracks, she turned to look at you tears streaming down her face.

It made your heart ache and for spilt second nothing else mattered. Jimmy’s smug face didn’t matter, you telling yourself not give in didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered right now was Fiona.

“Damn it,” You mumbled jogging over to the porch.

As you made it to the fourth step Fiona threw her arms around your neck, you let your hands find their way to her waist.

“I really do love you,” Fiona whimpered.

“I know and I love you too.”

Fiona pulled away to look at you as you brought your thumb to her cheek wiping the tears that fell, before bringing your lips to her forehead.

“Does this mean we’re still together?” Fiona spoke up her tone slightly uncertain, but hopeful.

You took a deep breath bringing your hands back to her waist. A small smile creeping onto your lips as you looked at the woman in front of you.

“Yeah I guess it does.”

You awoke the next morning to the sunlight shining through the window practically blinding you, you yawned looking around the room that definitely wasn’t yours. Memories of the night before flashed through your mind.

You rolled over only to be inches away from Fiona’s face. You smiled to yourself as you listened to the sound of her light snoring bringing back a sense of comfort that you didn’t realize you needed. You brought your hand to her face moving some of her hair behind her ear causing her to stir around.

“Stop staring,” Fiona said her voice a little raspy.

“I can’t help it, I forgot just how hot you look in the morning.” You chuckled wrapping your arms around her waist.

She groaned bringing her head to rest on your chest, “You know as much as I’d love a round three, I’m still pretty exhausted from the other two rounds from last night.”

“Ah giving up are we, thought Gallaghers didn’t give up?” You joked causing Fiona to giggle.

“We don’t.” She yawned.

You chuckled bringing your lips to the crown of her head, “I love you.”

Fiona moved her head to look at you with a soft smile, “I love you too.”

You brought your hand to Fiona’s cheek running your thumb across her bottom lip, completely mesmerized by just how beautiful the woman truly looked in the morning, even with bed head and bags under her eyes she still looked like a dream.

You couldn’t even deny that you missed mornings like this because to you and Fiona nothing else mattered. It was just the two of you too wrapped up in your own little bubble to care about anything else.

“You don’t know how much I missed this, how much I missed us.” Fiona spoke up her voice filling the silence in the room.

Instead of saying anything you leaned in till your lips connected with hers. The kiss was slow, but passionate although it did begin to escalate from there. Before you knew it you were on top of Fiona as your lips trailed down her neck, you were half way under the covers when you felt Fiona’s body jolt.

“Damn it Carl!” She yelled angrily.

You took that as a sign to throw yourself on the other side of the bed making your way out from under the covers. You looked over at the boy who was standing in the door way with a smirk on his face.

“Dude knock next time,” Fiona sighed running her hand through her hair.

“This mean you guys are back together?” Carl chuckled which only irritated Fiona more.

“What do you want?” Fiona snapped.

“Frank’s in the kitchen trying to clean himself in the sink again,” his smiling fading to a look of disgust.

Fiona groaned, “You guys can’t deal with it?”

Carl shrugged before walking off.

You chuckled watching as Fiona stood up picking your black polo jacket up off the floor throwing it on.

“Fuckin Gallaghers,” she mumbled.

You shook your head as Fiona tossed you your t shirt, “Man I missed gettin cock blocked by your family.”

Fiona huffed looking over at you with a sour look on her face as she attempted to get her sweats on, “Meet you downstairs?”

“Yes ma’am,” you said bringing two fingers to your forehead saluting her.

Fiona rolled her eyes letting out a slight chuckle, “You’re such a fuckin dork.”

“But I’m your dork!” You shouted as the girl made her way out of the room flipping you the bird.

As you made your way down stairs you couldn’t help, but smile at the familiar sound of the Gallaghers bickering. That was one thing you never thought you’d miss, you made your way into the kitchen adjusting your jeans.

“There’s the woman of the hour!” Ian was the first to greet you lifting up his coffee cup like it was a beer.

You chuckled attempting to make your way over to the coffee pot as you watched Fiona swat Frank with a news paper.

“So I guess you two made up?” You turned your head to see Lip who was coming down the stairs with a cigarette dangling between his lips.

You were about to answer the man until Carl beat you to it, “I heard them fuckin makin up all night last night.”

You nearly spit out your coffee at the boys comment.

“Yeah you guys are loud,” Debbie chimed in picking up Franny sitting her at the kitchen table.

“Alright enough,” Fiona said walking over to where you were standing as you pulled her into your side.

“Don’t you guys got somewhere to be?”

“Why got some more makin up to do?” Carl joked causing the other Gallaghers to burst into a fit of laughter.

“Bet you didn’t miss this?” Fiona said gesturing to all the chaos going on around you.

You turned your head to look at the woman, “Believe or not I actually did.”

Fiona chuckled shaking your her head, “How did I get so lucky?”

“I’m the lucky one,” You said pulling her closer to you kissing the crown of her head.

In that moment you felt like you were home because to you Fiona was your home and you were hers.

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