#keeps calling me to ask me how to do things. left 4 different patients (in TWO DAYS) with questions for me bc she didn't know the answers. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bucketsofmonsters · 8 months

Text

The Witch's Apprentice - Part 7

cw: demon summoning, prolonged isolation, size difference, agoraphobia, depression, more tags will be added as the story continues

male demon x afab reader

Word count: 3k

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

You woke up alone and felt anything but. The distant buzz of people outside, on the streets, bustling about the hallways of the inn, felt suffocating. It all seemed so loud now, so deafening.

Lucien appeared in front of you, giving you a quiet “Good morning,” and suddenly, it wasn’t loud at all, his voice cutting through the hum that had seemed deafening moments before.

“How’re you doing?” he asked as you blinked up at him from your seat on the bed.

Was his voice quieter than usual? Or maybe that was just how people sounded with the constant buzz of a city in the background.

“I don’t have any stuff,” you said. It was a trivial complaint, you knew that, but you wanted something to hold onto. Anything that was yours, that wasn’t so foreign.

He laughed and it felt cruel. You knew it shouldn't, that he was trying to help, but it felt cruel that he was allowed to do that right now, while you felt like you’d been broken into pieces. “We’ll get you new stuff, don’t worry about that.”

Like it was that simple. Like you could just get new stuff and move on.

It wasn’t his fault. You knew that. He was the reason you were still here. But some part of you; some unsnuffable, horrible little instinct; wanted to blame him. Without him, you would still be home. Without him, nothing would have changed.

“I just…” you began, with no idea how to articulate any of this to him.

And then, with the most distressed expression you’d ever seen from him, he interrupted you and said, “I have to go. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

And that was it. He faded away and you were alone again.

You hated the deafening roar of the city he left you with.

At least when he was here, you could pretend things would be okay.

You didn’t have anything left. Anything but him. At least when he was in front of you, you had something to cling to.

Hours passed before he reappeared in front of you. When he did, you didn’t manage to get a word out before a string of curse words escaped him and he faded out of existence again.

You barely even moved as you waited for him. What would you do anyway? You had nothing to do but wait, so that’s what you did, patiently and quietly, on the bed he’d found for you.

It was a shorter wait this time, under an hour if you had to guess.

“Where do you keep going?” you asked as he solidified in the space in front of you. It was slower without you summoning him, like he had to put real effort into coming to you.

A pained expression flashed across his face, disappearing as quickly as it arrived. “I’m being summoned.”

“So often? You’re a popular demon,” you said it with the cadence of a joke, but neither of you found it particularly funny.

“Summonings go through phases,” he said with a sigh. “Names get discovered or obtain reputations. I was too nice for a while, people got comfortable, so I get called upon a lot these days. I’m rectifying my mistake. Hopefully, my name will start to come with a bad taste in people’s mouths in a few decades.”

“Oh. Good luck with that, I guess.”

“Thank you. It’s been going pretty well. Only one major lapse in my judgment,” he said with a pointed look in your direction.

You couldn’t help but smile a little at that. “I promise to tell everyone you were real mean to me. Very scary, the scariest demon you could imagine.”

A huff of laughter escaped him. “Good. My reputation may survive this little affair yet. Now, what have you been up to?”

Your eyes flicked around as you searched for an answer that wouldn’t sound horribly tragic.

He didn’t wait for you to find one before butting in at your obvious distress. “Come on, you don’t need to wait around for me. You haven’t had the chance to do anything in years, go talk to someone or something.”

You shrugged. “I’m fine where I am.”

He looked you up and down, evaluating you as you shrunk away from him. “What is it? Did something happen?”

“Nothing happened. I’m just fine in here.”

His eyes narrowed and you couldn’t understand why he didn’t believe you. Surely it wasn’t that difficult to understand. Surely anyone would be hesitant to go back out into the world after being stowed safely away for so long.

“Something happened,” he said, no longer a question and entirely incorrect.

“It really didn’t. Actually, as long as we’re talking about it, I was thinking. I probably shouldn’t be here at all. I mean, I’m not doing much here. I could always stay in hell with you. It would be easier that way.”

“No,” he snapped, and you flinched back at his harsh tone. “No,” he said again, softer this time, a quiet correction. “I will not let you just lock yourself away again. I will not be your new Eden.”

“I wasn’t asking you to be,” you lied, unconvincing even to yourself.

“You’ll be fine. Just go, talk to someone, get some fresh air. It’ll get easier.”

He didn’t understand, couldn’t understand, just how impossible it was.

“Yeah, I will. Don’t worry about me.”

He gave you an unmistakably worried look as he said, “Alright, I won’t. I just think that… shit.”

“Is it happening again?”

“Just go do something. I’ll be back when I can.”

As you laid down in bed, with no intention to go out and doing anything, you wondered just how often he got summoned. You’d never really considered it before. You knew it happened of course, but you’d never put real thought into it past how frustrating of an experience it must be for him.

What would happen if two people tried to summon him at once? Would it hurt? Rip him in two? You doubted that any of the witches summoning him had considered it either.

And what other things was he being forced to do out there? Surely Eden wasn’t the worst witch he’d ever encountered. What other horrible things weighed on him every day, that he couldn’t help but feel a little responsible for?

As time ticked on, another thought wormed its way into your head. Maybe he wasn’t being summoned at all. He’d never had to leave this often before he’d helped you make your daring escape and now he could barely stay with you for more than a few minutes.

It made sense. He’d done what he wanted to do. He’d freed you from the trap he was forced to lay. His part in this should be over, his guilt assuaged, if it weren’t for the way you clung to him like a lifeline.

The thoughts swam around your head until he appeared once more, looking irritated, eyes distant and cold.

The spark of insecurity in you couldn’t be snuffed out any longer, not even in the face of his bad mood.

“Are you actually being summoned?” you blurted out. “Because if you don’t want to be here, you don’t have to be.” You knew it wasn’t true, that you needed him, but still couldn’t stomach the idea of him forcing himself to be here. “I thought we were friends but maybe that was naive. Is it just guilt? Is that what all of this was?”

He sighed, his hands rising to rub at his temples. “It's not... I don't know. Maybe at the beginning. I wanted you to be bad. I needed you to be. And you weren’t and it was the worst thing you’ve ever done to me.”

“I’m sorry,” you said, your voice quiet and broken and completely genuine.

“You really are, aren’t you? Sorry for what? Sorry for not being awful?”

“Well, not…” You weren’t entirely sure what you were apologizing for. You just knew that you were sorry. “I just meant, sorry for making things worse for you. That’s all.”

“You didn’t make anything worse, not in the long run. I like you. I’m glad you got out of there. It’s just that right at the start I needed you to be a bad person so I didn't feel so fucking guilty. I hate doing this, you know. Being so cruel. Especially to people like you. But if I don’t things get so much worse.”

“You’re not cruel,” you said, knowing it was true and yet somehow, deep down, knowing it was the last thing he wanted to hear.

“I didn’t used to be. That’s the rule. My new rule. No more being nice to the inexperienced ones. Witches like yours don’t give you opportunities to lash out so if you want to establish a reputation, you have to be cruel when you can be. Every single time they give you the chance. When the little witches summoning their first monster give you an opening, you strike. That way the next one thinks twice when they see your name in some summoning book.”

“That sounds awful.”

“Feels awful too. But nothing feels worse than being forced to do even crueler things so you do what you can. Lesser of two evils.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” you said, knowing exactly what crueler things were flashing through his distant eyes.

“Maybe not. Still wouldn’t have happened without me. You weren’t the first, you know. You were the first victim she kept, sure, but not the first one who fell prey to that damn forest. You’ve probably seen what’s left of some of them, some bones and remains of them in various forms. She got plenty of use out of them, I’ll give her that much”

Your heart skipped a beat as he spoke and your mind pulled back to the various bones and bits of gore in jars that you’d tended to and organized for her over the years. You’d never thought about them before, not really. Even trying to remember them, it was like a haze began to form in your mind, a buzzing pain starting to settle in over the distant images.

You started to fall to the side before the feeling of a warm hand on your arm brought you out of your head. “Don’t hurt yourself,” he said, giving your arm a gentle squeeze before pulling back far too soon. “I’m sure she’s tainted most of your memories of anything she didn’t want you to see. It’s probably best to not try and look back.”

Now you had one more thing to mourn, even the memories of your home being ripped away from you. How cruel that you weren’t even allowed to keep those in this strange new place.

“Right. I’ll do my best.”

He nodded. “I know you will. You’ll be fine. You’ve been doing really well.”

It was a kind lie. You appreciated him for trying to tell it.

And then you were alone again.

You did try leaving this place. You swore you did, despite knowing in the back of your head that you couldn’t do it.

You peeked out the window on the tips of your toes down at unfamiliar faces on the street and stood at the door, pretending you knew how to steel yourself for the task ahead.

At the very least it was something to do with yourself when Lucien was away, gone to a summoning or back to hell or just living his life, doing things he refused to speak about with you, always keeping you at arms length.

But that was unfair. He was there when he could be during the day, when some other witch didn’t whisk him away against his will to do whatever they pleased.

He never spoke to you about it, about what they asked him to do. Every time you tried he got very quiet and then began to push back, asking you when you’d go outside.

Nothing quieted you faster than that.

At night he was always gone.

At night you were small again.

You hated sleeping, avoided it whenever you could. You were terrified of the dreams that might come. You’d honestly welcome a nightmare at this point. Your biggest fear was you would dream of home. Your biggest fear was waking up again after.

Instead, you just stared at the wall every night, waiting for it to be morning so you could wait for Lucien again.

A thud pulled you from your trance and your head jerked up towards the window just in time to see a bird falling to the ground below after having slammed into the glass it’s little mind couldn't comprehend.

You were moving before you even had time to think. It was for the best, you weren’t sure you could’ve managed it if you’d had to think it through, to force yourself to get up and go check on the poor creature.

You held your breath as you walked out the door of your room, freezing for a moment. You weren’t sure what you expected to happen.

A woman walked by you, turning to the side and slipping by where you were blocking the hallway with a quiet, “Excuse me, love.”

There was a pressure building in your head, behind your eyes, closing your throat. This foreign air felt toxic, a bile rising inside of you.

A gentle hand settled on your back and you practically jumped out of your skin to get away from it.

You bolted at the contact, frightened, flighty. Darted not back inside but through the halls until you found a way outside, running around the perimeter of the building until you found it.

It was a small, unassuming brown bird, crumpled on the ground, an injured wing tucked under itself.

You picked it up as gently as you could, cradling it in the palms of your hands.

Every instinct you had wanted you to run back and hide. Instead, you walked slowly, carefully, trying not to jostle the poor creature too much.

The woman was no longer in the hall, having left at some point after you’d fled from her. Some part of you felt bad, hoped you hadn’t hurt her feelings or left her worried.

Most of your attention was on the bird.

You had no idea how to help it, would have to ask Lucien tomorrow. You were terrified to touch the bent wing, to make it worse than it already was. Even attempting to set it would hurt the poor creature and you couldn’t stomach the thought of it, of inflicting any more pain.

You did what you could, forming a little bed to rest it in for the night, a little nest out of towels and pillows.

It was almost funny in a way. A makeshift nest inside of your makeshift nest. You were no better off than this frightened, wounded little creature.

At least maybe, someday, it could get out of here.

#terato #demon x reader #demon x human #monster bf #monster boyfriend #monster x human #monster x reader #demon #the witch's apprentice #This story has negative thematic subtlety lol #This is a little shorter than I like my chapters to be but sitting on it for weeks wasn’t doing me any good #I’ll get the next one out much faster #Pinky promise

452 notes · View notes

historicity-was-already-taken · 4 months

Text

What I'm actually furious about, isn't just the anti-Semitism I've dealt with here.

What I'm furious at is the Israeli government and military. I am furious that they have the nerve to perpetrate war crimes while appropriating the memory of the 6 million. It makes me sick. It feels me with rage. It fills me with feelings of betrayal (those are complex and require deconstruction, discussed briefly below). How dare they massacre children, civilians, and fucking hospital patients; and how dare they do so while using the 6 million as a rhetorical shield?

The edgelord who left me a snide remark comparing the situation in Gaza to the Warsaw Ghetto wasn't the first person to make that comparison to me. It was actually the Palestinian woman who translated two major sources from Hebrew into English for me.

She was translating a biography of Tossia Altman when her three nephews and sister-in-law were murdered during the IDF action in Gaza. I asked her if she wanted to stop working on the project (with no impact on her fee for the project, of course; that's where about $4000 of the money y'all helped me raise went, fyi). The brand of Zionism practiced by Tossia and her comrades is very very different from the version embodied in Netanyahu, and it was those schools of Zionism which mostly died in the Holocaust (I said), but I would completely understand if the material was too triggering for her.

She said "I’m not sure about this triggering me, I think holocaust survivors and Gazans are on the same boat to tell you the truth. It could be an opportunity for me to actually fathom the full picture, in a way." And I haven't stopped thinking about it since.

I'm not going to post the rest of our conversation here, for what I hope are obvious reasons. And for concerned parties, this woman has been living away from Gaza for a very long time.

But this is why I'm so angry and emotional.

And I'm over here having these, frankly, very painful, personal feelings (if my posts over the last 4 months haven't made it clear, I spent my teen years in an extremely manipulative right wing Israel "education" program, and was raised surrounded by first and secondhand Holocaust trauma which inevitably impacted how my elders educated me about The Conflict none of which I was fully able to deconstruct until I became a Holocaust Historian in grad school). Especially with my knowledge of how SHITTILY Holocaust survivors were treated when they got to Palestine in the mid-1940s; of how fucking disgracefully Yad Vashem treated Rachel Auerbach and Yitzhak Zuckerman. Of the way the Jewish fighters actually died in the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising. I became a Holocaust historian because I am the great/granddaughter of survivors and I do this work because it's a fucking calling, not something that brings me joy. And the goddamn Israeli government, the government of a nation which likes to say it exists for all Jews (when it barely even represents the Jews who live there but that's a different conversation); the way that government manipulates and misuses that history to excuse their actions in Gaza make me fucking sick. And, as demonstrated by some of you actual fucking pieces of shit, puts Diasporic Jews in danger. (side thought: Does Netanyahu WANT to put Diasporic Jews in danger?? He knows how this fucking shit works, and I wouldn't be surprised if he WANTED Jews to feel deeply unsafe and respond to that by fleeing to Israel).

And WHILE I'm experiencing all of this and trying to keep it all together while writing the what may be the most important thing I've ever written in my career, you fucking [word I don't use out loud or in writing] come in here and to throw your anti-Semitic bullshit at me when I ask you to please not spew it at me via my (year old) fucking Holocaust Remembrance Day posts, and when I ask you to be fucking mindful of it in your political speech.

So let me make it fucking clear, as far as I am concerned there are 4 separate conversations at play rn.

1) October 7 was horrific, genocidal, and traumatizing for Jews on a global basis.

2) Israel is committing heinous war crimes in Gaza right now which, if its own military's statements are anything to go by, are actively genocidal.

3) You shouldn’t harass random Jewish people because you’re disgusted with Israeli governmental and military decisions and actions.

4) The Israeli government’s appropriation of Holocaust memory within its larger state building project doesn’t give you [collective: non-Jews] the right to abuse Jews for discussing and generally having feelings about the Holocaust.

And FRANKLY I think all those conversations are accurate and valid. I also don't think I'm obligated to tear my heart open give you all my intimate feelings because a bunch of pieces of shit on this site can't grasp points 3 and 4.

So fuck that right wing program I belonged to as a teen, fuck you fucking left wing anti-Semites who can's grasp that you're touting the ideologies of people who would have wanted you dead, and fuck the Israeli government for committing war crimes. fuck them for their ongoing abuse of palestinian civil and human rights, and fuck them for invoking the memory of the 6million while doing it.

I've fucking had it with that fucking State, I've had it with you goddamn Jew-haters, and I've had it with the Jewish ppl who might want to destroy my career upon seeing this post.

I am mad as HELL.

I'm not even saying my mental health break is over. I've just had a moment of clarity, my period is over, and I'm pissed as hell. i'm tired of policing myself to make the gentiles who hate me comfortable; and I'm tired of policing myself to make my coreligionists who'd destroy me for having these thoughts comfortable. and there are 122,000 if you, so i don't care if you're so fucking fragile that this post makes you hit the unfollow button.

tl;dr:

youtube

#historians are impacted by their work #shocker

310 notes · View notes

shmaptainwrites · 1 year

Text

[CH. 4] New Doctor on the Block

Chapter 4: Dear Dad

Pairings: Hawkeye Pierce x fem!Reader

Characters: Hawkeye Pierce, B.J. Hunnicutt

Summary: Hawkeye writes home to his dad and tells him about the new surgeon at the camp

Warnings: sappy sap sapppyyyyy

Note: Okay you know I had to write a Dear Dad chapter, it was so cool exploring a bit of Hawkeye’s perspective in this! Hope you all like it :) please ignore that this is a day late i COMPLETELY forgot

Series Masterlist - NDotB Masterlist

When Hawkeye woke up that morning he knew something felt different. At first, he thought it could have been what Frank was arguing about with B.J. but that couldn’t be it.

Tale as old as time. He thought to himself.

But as he started to wake more he realized, today was the day someone was coming to interview some of the people working at their M*A*S*H unit.

He wasn’t sure whether he looked forward to or dreaded it, but either way, it was coming.

“You okay Hawkeye?” B.J. asked and the surgeon shrugged.

“Was gonna write to my dad this morning, but I think that’s going to have to wait,” he pointed to the jeep pulling into the unit.

“I’m sure you’ll have time to do it in the afternoon. It’s too bad not everyone is here for the interview,” he commented, noting yours and Major Houlihan’s absence, both away on a weekend trip to Tokyo. “Would have been good to hear from both of them.”

Hawkeye nodded his head and they exited the swamp waiting to be called on for their interviews.

Hawkeye did his interview in the mess tent. Some of the questions he thought were peculiar, almost wondering what was being hidden from the public about the war and seeing and hearing how normal things were going on back home only made him miss it more. He missed Maine, his practice in Boston, he missed his friend Trapper, and most of all, he missed feeling safe. As much as Hawkeye had come to love the South Koreans, their country had only brought him fear and he imagined it was the same for them, except eventually, hopefully, he got to go back home. This was their home.

Once the interview was over and he had just gotten settled in his tent, the notice came out that they were flying in more wounded and all available personnel needed to report to the OR immediately.

He sighed, putting down the paper and pencil he was going to use to write to his father and rushed out to triage.

He wasn’t sure how many hours later it was when they finished, but all he knew was he couldn’t fall asleep. Not immediately anyways, eventually the exhaustion would take over, but for now, the adrenaline was coursing through his veins and it needed to die down before he got any rest.

So he picked up the pen and paper he had left on his bed and sat down outside under the light of a portable lamp and began to write.

Dear Dad,

What a day it’s been. I know I’ve told you about our busy days here, but this one was a little different. A documentary group had come to interview all of us on what it was like being close to the front of the war. I’m not sure if they got what they were looking for.

A little while after the interviews finished a new wave of choppers came with wounded soldiers and we tended to them all night. I just got out of the OR myself.

I feel a bit bad though because I think I lied when the interviewer asked me a question. He said, who are your heroes? I wasn’t sure I had any so I said I didn’t but the more I thought of it I figured it out and it’s even funnier because get this, she hates my guts.

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned the new surgeon who’s joined our unit. She’s from New Hampshire and worked as a nurse in the Second World War. She’s phenomenal, I don’t think I’ve seen anyone more capable for her position. I must admit a few of us were skeptical when she first arrived, but she’s got a knack for it, keeps up to date with the journals, and managed to save a few patients who wouldn’t have made it otherwise because of that.

Just a little while ago, we had this kid come into the OR, we knew right away there was nothing we’d be able to do for him and cutting him up would just add to the unpleasantness so we gave him some painkillers to at least numb him, but he was still lucid. He grabbed her arm and started calling her mom, all of us thought he was delusional or the pain was making him see something in her that wasn’t there. B.J. was about to step in and tell the boy that his mother wasn’t there, but she stopped him and sat down and acted like his mother until he was gone. It was one of the most selfless things I’ve ever seen anyone do here. It was no easy job, he was scared out of his mind, didn’t want to die, but then again who would at eighteen? Turns out he was carrying a picture of his mother on him when he went, the resemblance was uncanny.

I don’t know if I’d ever be able to do that for someone. I’m a doctor, I know I can do that much, but she’s a mom too, there’s another level of thinking there that I don’t understand. Suppose I never will.

And she’s not just a good doctor, I wish you could have seen the way she surprised everyone the other week. Father Mulcahy, I’ve told you about him, he’s our unit’s chaplain, and likes to organize sports and games to keep the morale high around here, so he planned a game of football for some of the enlisted men, a few of the surgeons were around when he suggested it and she asked if she could join them. One of the privates commented that maybe the game might be too rough for her, but before he could protest any more she took the ball from the Father and marched out to the middle of the compound. She asked the private to try and block her and when he refused she gave rank and the poor guy had no idea what was coming for him. She easily managed to get past him and across the line but didn’t stop there. Next, she tossed him the football and told him to try and get past her. Since he was embarrassed of course he had to try and rise to the occasion, but I’m sure you can sense where I’m going with this. She tackled the crap out of him then picked herself up and dusted off her pants as if nothing had happened. B.J. found out later that her mom was sick a lot when she was younger so she spent a lot of time with her dad and one of their favourite pastimes was playing football. I think all of us here at MASH can say without a doubt that he taught her very well.

Aside from that, I narrowly avoided spending the rest of my life in the stockade just by being a good doctor. It was the 557th time Frank had tried to court marshall me for mutiny, but all that came out of it was that Frank is an incompetent doctor and surgeon and I had every right to drug him with novocaine so his reign of terror would end.

Not much else has happened here aside from the usual surgery, sleep, and bad food, but I hope all is well at home. I look forward to hearing back from you soon.

Love,

Your son,

Hawkeye Pierce

Tags

@montyfandomlove

#hawkeye pierce #hawkeye pierce x reader #mash #mashblr #mash fanfiction #hawkeye pierce fanfiction

33 notes · View notes

hello-nichya-here · 7 months

Note

What are your thoughts on MJ's daughter supporting Israel and trying to distance herself from her dad? Girl won't even defend him

Jesus fucking Christ, are you guys coordinating these asks? This is the third time one of you asked me it, I'm legit impressed.

Let's get the easy, and horrible part out of the way first: nobody on the fucking planet has any excuse to support Israel. You can hate Hamas and the goverments of countries like Iran without excusing the literal genocide of civilians in Palestine, because yes, that's what Israel is doing right now.

Paris Jackson (and everyone else, famous or not, that is still pretending Israel isn't commiting all kinds of crimes against humanity right now) should have known better and needs to get her shit together.

Now, onto the messy part:

Although Paris has recently said "it's not her role/place" to defend her dad, lets not forget the other things she said on that same controversial statement:

1 - She fully believes her father is innocent and called the "documentary" Leaving Neverland pure lies.

2 - She believes that everything that could be said about her father's innocence has been said already and she'd have nothing new to add to the conversation.

3 - Her cousin Taj has become basically the leader of the family's campain to clear Michael's name and has been doing an amazing job.

4 - She's not as patient as her father was to deal with that kind of stuff and she has been focusing more on trying to recover from her mental health issues.

That last one is important, specially when we remember that Paris has claimed to have been sexually abused in school (which left her with PTSD), and that she has struggled with addiction, paranoia and a freaking suicide attempt.

It would not be surprising to me if having to listen to allegations of childhood sexual abuse is extremelly triggering for her - especially since the person being accused of being the abuser is her late father, who was murdered by his doctor when she was just 10-years-old, and she was treated like a stupid child in denial everytime she tried to point out the things being said about him were not true.

Considering she has continued to praise her father over the years, both with small things like posting a family picture on Father's day this year and big things like saying he was a super accepting man that was totally cool with her not being straight, and DID defend him publically every now and then, like, once again, calling "Leaving Neverland" pure lies when it came out, I'd say she's not really trying to distance herself from her dad or imply she's starting to think he might have been guilty. I think she just genuinely cannot fucking stand having to act as his lawyer only to have every word she says ignored, no matter how much evidence she offers to back it up.

(And before anyone brings up the fact that Taj was also a victim of sexual abuse in his childhood and has is still speaking out in support of his uncle, including of how he helped him deal with his trauma, keep in mind that people cope differently and heal at different paces).

Do I think she could have phrased some things better? Yes.

If either of my parents were accused of something horrible and a bunch of people kept insisting they were guilty despite all evidence poiting to the contrary, would I interact with said celebrities? No, and it is extremelly disappointing whenever Paris does that...

... But then again, Michael was at war with his record label, Sony, for years and was convinced they were not only sabotaging his career but also trying to murder him, yet he still was ready to go on a final tour that was going to make them A LOT of money. Like father, like daughter.

Honestly, I would not blame the entire Jackson family if they just made one last big documentary to try and clear Michael's name, then, regardless of how it was taken, packed all their shit and moved to a remote island, far away from the spotlight and never spoke to any journalist or had any social media presence again. They've been getting screwed over and surrounded by awful people in the industry, the media, and amongst other celebrities since the goddamn sixties, it's a miracle anyone of them is still trying to "play the game" or explain themselves.

#asks #michael jackson #paris jackson #abuse #rape #mental health problems

14 notes · View notes

loving-barnes · 1 year

Text

Medical Hearts - Part 4

A/N: Finally finished part four. Enjoy.

Pairing: Doctor Bucky Barnes x Doctor Female reader or Doctor Steve Rogers x Doctor Female reader

Warning: language, mistakes, bit of angst

Words: 1800+

Part 3 | Medical Hearts Masterlist

Part 4

“Call it,” Barnes looked at Y/N. His hands were covered in blood as well as his scrubs. He kept staring at her as if it was some kind of punishment - which she thought it was. It was the fourth person that died that day and she was the one there every single time. This was her unlucky day. “Dr Y/L/N, call it.”

How she hated it. How she hated him. “Time of death, 18:19,” and she took off her gloves with a deep sigh.

Barnes chuckled. “Why the long face?”

She glared at him. In her mind, she was already holding him under his neck, choking the life out of him. “How would you feel if you were assigned to every single case, this day, where the person died? Because this is my fourth person today and I cannot keep a smile on my face and be happy about it,” she snapped at him. But it didn’t stop there. “Maybe you feel good about other people dying, but that might be because you are emotionless and don’t give a fuck.”

All the nurses looked at her, surprised by the tone she used. Even Barnes was in mild shock. “What is your problem Dr Y/L/N?” he had to ask.

That was a question she didn’t want to hear. He’s been dragging her around the hospital as if she was his personal assistant. And if she behaved differently than he wanted, he would make her do rectal exams and the nastiest jobs he could find for her. After this question, she couldn’t keep calm. “You’ve been making my life a living hell for the last few days. I have no idea what I did to you and what kind of a problem you have with me. So, please, Dr Barnes, give me a break,” and with that, she left the trauma room where they lost another patient.

She took off the bloody gloves and threw them into the nearest bin. He was the only one who was treating her like garbage - like they did in St Luke’s. She hated that then, she hated it now.

As she was leaving the trauma room, Y/N turned around one more time. “Next time, Dr Barnes, if you need an assistant or someone who you can boss around, find someone else to do that job.” That was all she had to say to him.

She kept mumbling under her nose, pissed, as she walked to the upper level where she wanted to check on other patients that were alive and almost ready to leave the place.

“Hey,” a voice stopped her. “Are you alright?” Steve asked her as he put down a tablet he was holding in his hands. “You seem upset.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she replied angrily. “I have patients to check on.”

“No, no, no,” he grabbed her by the forearm and dragged her to the nearest supply room where they could talk privately. Once the door closed, he let her go. “Breathe, Y/N. You are angry and I don’t want you to see patients like this.”

“Steve,” she sighed. “I really don’t want to talk about it - especially with you.”

“Is it about me?” he asked, grinning.

“It’s about your damn best friend, who, by the way, is the biggest fucking douche I’ve seen since I’ve arrived here,” she exploded. And that was the moment she couldn’t hold it in her anymore. “He’s been making my last few days miserable - treating me as if I was the one who hurt him; not teaching me and basically trying to get rid of me when I have to be on his service this week. Not to mention the fact that I had to do several rectal exams and basically treated me like a slave.”

Somehow, he found it amusing. The next thing she knew, Steve was giggling. “I’m sorry,” he leant against the nearest rack and crossed his arms akimbo. “You are cute when you are angry.”

“Excuse me?” she was shocked by that statement.

“Listen, as mentioned, Dr Barnes is going through a rough time and he’s…”

“He’s an ass,” she finished the sentence. “I never treat people like that when something’s happening in my personal life. He broke up with a girl and this is what he’s doing? I’ve been through worse shit and never let my anger or frustration or sadness interfere with my job.”

Steve took a step closer to her and put a hand on her shoulder. “How about I take you out, have a few drinks and let you vent about him?”

“Why would I vent about it to you?” she asked, confused. “You are his best friend and the second you are together, you will talk.”

“Alright,” he smiled at her, brightly. “How about I take you out and just get to know each other.”

She opened her mouth and then closed it. “Are you asking me out on a date?” she stuck her hands into the pockets of her white coat. “Is- Is it even allowed?”

“I don’t have any information about any strict policy that would prohibit dating between co-workers.” Steve kept that smug smile on his face and he took another step towards her. “I think you are adorable, Dr Y/L/N. So, what do you say?”

Her breathing stopped and her eyes widened. Steve was too close for her liking and she quickly took a step back. Her heart was beating fast, trying to escape her chest. “I- uh,” she lost words. Quickly, clearing her throat, she tried to talk to him. “I will think about it.”

Y/N quickly brushed past him and left the supply room, leaving the handsome doctor standing there alone and confused. Her legs took her quickly into the nearest on-call room where she hid from the whole hospital and sat on the first bed she saw. “What the fuck is happening?” she sighed.

Checking her watch, she noticed her shift was ending in four and a half hours. She’s been working in this hospital for over a month or so and an attending was already asking her out.

Steve was a handsome man, she had to admit - tall, muscular and seemed sweet. But then there was his stupid annoying best friend who was making her life a living hell. And, in all honesty, he was handsome as fuck. This was the first time she allowed herself to admit that Barnes was a hot piece of man. One of them was a dick and the other one asked her out.

Y/N took off her shoes and lay down on the bed, making herself comfortable. She put her pager next to her head and hoped that she would be left alone for at least ten minutes before an emergency would occur.

. . .

It was finally time to leave the hospital and head home. Y/N had her leather jacket on, searching for her phone when she found Wanda sitting on a bench in front of the building, with tears in her eyes. “Hey,” Y/N quickly ran to her, sitting down by her side. “Are you alright?”

She shook her head and wiped off a tear that escaped her eye. “My two roommates kicked me out of the apartment today. I have two days to take my stuff from their place. In other words,” her voice was raspy and low, “I am homeless.”

“Shit,” Y/N sighed, sad for her friend. “I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t know what to do.”

She pulled Wanda closer to her and hugged her with one arm wrapped around her shoulder. Y/N knew how could she help her but if she did, she would tell someone more information about her. Yes, Steve and Wanda were outside her apartment, but they never saw what was inside.

“I have a spare room,” she said to Wanda softly. “And, to be honest, I feel lonely in my apartment. So,” she cleared her throat, “if you’d like a place to stay and be my roommate, you are more than welcome to stay with me.”

The woman stared at her with wide eyes. “Really? A-are you sure, Y/N?”

“Yes,” she smiled at Wanda. “But, you will learn something about me that I wanted to keep a secret for as long as possible.” That got Wanda’s attention even more. “My family is… rich. Both my parents are successful business partners and they make a lot of money.”

“What are you saying?” Wanda asked, confused.

“Well, once you will step inside my apartment, you will hate me,” she patted her shoulder and stood up from the bench. “So, you want to live with me?”

Wanda opened her mouth, ready to give her an answer when they were met with Steve and his best friend walking from the hospital right to them. When Y/N noticed them, she rolled her eyes. “Great,” she mumbled.

“Ladies,” Steve greeted them with a smile. That’s when he noticed Wanda’s face. “Hey, are you alright?”

She nodded. “Yeah, I just had a situation that got solved surprisingly quickly,” and she looked at Y/N with a smile. “Where are you boys heading up to? Fining girls in a bar?”

Steve’s eyes landed on Y/N. “Y/N, can I talk to you for a second?”

Y/N left her bag next to Wanda and together, they walked farther away, leaving Wanda and Barnes on the bench. “You didn’t give me an answer,” Steve nudged her shoulder. “I can ditch Bucky and we can have diner together.”

Y/N bit her lower lip, trying to hold back her laughter. “Bucky?” she asked a bit later when she knew she could be calm. “You call Barnes Bucky?”

“You’ve never heard about it?”

“No,” she said truthfully. “Anyway, my plans changed suddenly and I will be spending my time with Wanda because she needs a friend. Maybe some other time?”

His next move got took her by surprise. His hand found her loose strand of hair and put it behind her ear. “Alright, Y/N. Let me know when you are free and we will figure something out.”

She walked back to Wanda and took her belongings. Before they left, Y/N glanced at Barnes who had a stern look on his face. Their eyes met for a second. “Good night, Dr Barnes,” she said to him with a neutral tone.

Both women walked into the parking lot where Y/N’s car was. Wanda never saw her in the car. It was a big one - an SUV. “Wow, you are rich if you can afford to own a car.”

Y/N didn’t comment on it and put their bags into the boot. “How many things do you have, Wanda? Do we need to rent a moving van?”

“Uh, just clothes, books and small things. I don’t own any furniture.”

“Do you think we can go pack your stuff now? We can have it done in an hour or two and you don’t have to see them ever again.”

Wanda took out her phone. “I’ll let them know we are coming. Thank you, for doing this for me. You are like an angel that came to rescue me.”

#Bucky Barnes x reader #Steve Rogers x reader #Bucky Barnes x female reader #Steve Rogers x female reader #Doctor Bucky Barnes #Doctor Steve Rogers #Medical Hearts

34 notes · View notes

youllwantmeback · 1 year

Text

1/17/2023

I started off the shift with 4 patients:

But really, it was 3 patients, because one of my patient was in the middle of a rapid response, which means the ICU nurses are caring for them (they were coughing up blood/blood clots all night).

My other patients seemed okay: one was a line infection patient, one was a comfort care/hospice patient (not great since I just attended my grandpa’s funeral after him being on hospice with cancer), and one with hypoxic respiratory failure after a COVID infection.

I usually start my shift with the patient who is awake, but nobody was at this point, so I decided to start with my hospice patient. When I walked into the room, the patient’s breathing was adequate, at 20 breaths per minute, but the patient was not very responsive with me. Usually, when a patient isn’t responsive to verbal communication, the next think is tactile (which is touch). The patient was responsive when I touched her shoulder. At this point, she was not safe to take any oral medications, so I omitted all medications in the morning. The patient was on a PCA pump, which is a manual pain pump. On that first assessment, I was able to determine that the patient was wayyyy too weak to press the pump to administer medication, so I advocated for a basal rate throughout the entire day to keep her comfortable.

My two other patients did not really have much going on besides waiting for meals, PT/OT, and procedures, so I don’t have a lot to say about them. I responded to their needs as needed throughout the day, whether they had called the nurses station with their button or I had stopped by to check on them.

Aroun 1650, I was standing outside my comfort care patient’s room with her daughter. Her daughter was telling me various stories about either her or her mom’s life, giving me an insight to what life was like for her. I think that may have been the happiest I was that day, listening to the different stories of the family/patient.

I had a meeting at 1700, so I left the floor and gave my pager to the charge nurse, who was aware of the situation.

I came back to the unit around 1730, and the first patient I checked on was my comfort care/hospice patient. When looking in the room, it appreared as if the patient was no longer breathing. I was unsure as to how to bring this up to family, so I walked to the patient bedside to feel the radial pulse, which I was unable to feel. The daughter asked if the pulse was weak. At this point, I responded to the daughter, informing her that I had not felt a pulse, but I was going to listen for one. After listening to the patient’s heart, I heard no sounds.

When I removed the stethoscope, the daughter asked what I heard - I told her that I didn’t hear anything, but I would have another nurse listen. At this point, the daughter said, “Well Meika, what do YOU think?” I told the daughter that I believed her mother had passed, which she began to cry, understandably.

Moral of the story - losing a patient is NEVER easy; regardlesss of if it was expected or not. Losing someone is never an easy thing to do, as nursing staff, friends, or family, losing someone is not ideal. There is heartbreak. There are tears. You will be consoled. You will be checked on, and you will be asked if you are okay. You will be lost for words. You will feel lost.

The thing is, you will continue on eventually...

But you will always have this person in your mind at all times, doing the best you absolutely can for them and everyone else in your path.

8 notes · View notes

adiabolikpastel · 7 months

Note

Halloween is just around the corner, what do Skye, Yuuki, Rose, Calli, Yuki, Yukio, Kanaye and Rini plan to do to celebrate? 🎃 Do you have any headcanons of how they might celebrate Halloween at the Makai?

Sweet Patient Lovely Anon - I am so sorry that I have taken so long to reply to your ask. Things have been so busy for me lately, that I have just not had to time, but I thank you so much for asking and for being patient while I get it all together.

In the past I have done quite a bit of things for Halloween:

All Hallows Eve | Choosing Costumes Spooky Ask 1 \ 2 \ 3 \ 4 \ 5 The Fullest Moon Writing Prompts 1 \ 2 \ 3 Past Halloweens 1 \ 2

The blog has grown so much in characters over the years ~ So allow me to give you the 2023 Halloween Agenda! Full answer under the cut, enjoy!

[Tormented Reverie]

Yuuki

Per usual, Kanato & Yuuki love to dress up, and this year they thought it would be 'funny' to go as Dracula and his Bride. During this time Yuuki would be 4 months pregnant -as explained on her birthday. So, this Halloween would have been rather different from what either of them are used to.

Normally they would go out and get lots of candy, but this year Yuuki just wasn't up for it, which bothered Kanato. She ends up getting sick from all the sweets, and it doesn't end up being a very good night.

Yuki

I think by now Laito and Yuki would have been a 'thing' for a few years now - and still nothing official. Keeping with my addiction to 18+ Disney from last year, I would love to see them as Hook and Tinker Bell. I can see Laito parading him around to multiple human parties, before giving him a break back home. It's been long enough that I think he would allow Yuki a cuddle over a scary movie.

[Tormented Reverie: Another Daydream]

Kanaye

Isabella is definitely feeling the pumpkin head vibes this year. So she planned an entire photo shoot for her and Kanaye to do cute Pumpkin head photos. Taking a few Polaroids for her own collection as well. No parties this year for them, instead Isabella took it upon herself to educate Kanaye about the classic Halloween Movies, since has no idea what any of them are. It's a sweet and cozy night, complete with loads of decorated snacks and lots of cuddles.

Yukio

Ever the people person, Yukio drags Silas to rave after rave. He dressed the two of them up as Cruella Deville and a Dalmatian - Silas being the dog on a lease of course. While Yukio would entertain people for hours, Silas has a very small social battery. After having a talk about dragging him around last year - Yukio was supposed to stop after a certain time. Of course, he doesn't and Silas ends up ditching him.

The half-vampire does this to find peace with his less intense friends, only to have Yukio calling and texting him non-stop. Eventually, Yukio shows up to retrieve Silas, which starts a fight, which leads to a whole thing ... but ultimately leads to them in bed and the toxic cycle continues.

Rini

Not surprisingly, Kanato has planned another adorable father-daughter outfit for the two of them. While her brothers are off galavanting, Rini is taken with her parents to the Hallows Eve activities in the Makai. There she is paraded around by Kanato, who ensures that she is given extra sweets ... but Rini doesn't like sweets the same way her parents do.

While at the festivities, Yuuki doesn't interact with her much, spending most of the night entertaining the adults. Rini's night concludes with Kanato finally dismissing her off to bed with Yuuki. Her mother walks with her off to her room, tucks her in, gives her a hollow kiss on the forehead, and wishes her spooky dreams. While snuggled up with Bunny, Rini can hear the echos of the party, left wondering when she would be able to leave this place as her brothers have.

[Excruciating Duplicity]

Skye

Same as last year, Halloween is pretty much his night off - Skye loves to turn up. He has a reputation for making appearances in his full siren glory, becoming quite popular at Drag Shows, and that is something he plans to continue. Karl does expect him to perform duties to help with any festivities in the Makai, but on actual Halloween, he has the night off.

This year, things got rather spicy as a masked man approached Skye during one of his performances. It was strange that security didn't stop him, and the audience thought it was part of the act. The stranger completely altered Skye's routine, turning it into something steamer than what was normally allowed. It wasn't until the two dragged themselves off stage, breathless and wanting, that he recognized the stranger's eyes. This would be the first time Karl came to one of his shows, and the first time the two would hook up in a human world bathroom.

Rose

As the personal attending maid of the Demon King, Rose's schedule around this time of year is full. For as much as Burai had on his plate, Rose shared in every bit of it. Planning festivities for the Vibora common people, celebrations for nobility, rituals for the Makai as a whole - the Demon King has much on his plate, and as his personal Lupine, Rose was to be there for all of it.

Of course with all of this comes extra stress, and Burai makes good use of of his maid - at all hours of the day and night. Whether it's picking out his outfit for a meeting, or wearing it herself afterward, Rose experiences her true first Hallows Eve. However once it has passed, Burai does give her a few days off to recover.

Callista

Ah the glorious time of the year, when all the people of the Makai are able to be themselves among mortals. While living with her parents, Calli used to love letting her wings out and aweing the local humans with her 'master craftsmanship'. This year however, she would be spending it with her fiance - who was not the celebratory type. Despite her efforts to engage with him, Shu did not find the holiday as fun as she did but he did not stop her from indulging and decorating the mansion as she wished.

This is where Reiji, the ever-tidy, comes in. While instructing the spiders to weave webs across the mansion ceilings, the younger brother questioned her logic in creating such messes. The two exchanged in a debate of ideals, and wound up in front of Shu with the ultimate decision - as it was his house. The older vampire simply smirked and chuckled at the two, commenting that the bickering of children takes him back to when all the brothers lived together.

He would give each of them a pat on the head and say they would celebrate together. Reiji needs to loosen up, and Callista shouldn't make such a mess. Shu indulges in Callista's request for them to dress up together - the three of them - and when the night comes for the Hallows Eve ball, the two of them escort her. She dressed as a Belle from Beauty and the Beast - and the two of them as Lumiere and Cogsworth.

#ask answered #ask mun #Halloween ask #THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK #AND #FOR YOUR PATIENTS #I hope it was work the wait!#thank you for the support!#Tormented reverie #tormented reverie another daydream #excruciating duplicity

1 note · View note

chierushi · 1 year

Text

The Love You Had at First

Write this letter to the angel of the church in Ephesus. This is the message from the one who holds the seven stars in his right hand, the one who walks among the seven gold lampstands: "I know all the things you do. I have seen your hard work and your patient endurance. I know you don’t tolerate evil people. You have examined the claims of those who say they are apostles but are not. You have discovered they are liars. You have patiently suffered for me without quitting." —Revelation 2:1-3

While John wrote this, we have to take in mind that this message is directed to the angel/messenger of the church in Ephesus, from Christ himself. But first, what kind of church are they? Who are these people and what is the premise of this commendation?

Paul instructed Timothy:

"When I left for Macedonia, I urged you to stay there in Ephesus and stop those whose teaching is contrary to the truth. Don’t let them waste their time in endless discussion of myths and spiritual pedigrees. These things only lead to meaningless speculations, which don’t help people live a life of faith in God." —1 Timothy 1:3-4

From here, we can figure the struggle they were facing: false teachers. And look! In His message in Revelations to the church, the Lord commended them for their hard work. They know how to identify good and evil, truth and lie. They have pursued purity, and they remained faithful to God's Word.

And then, we get to God's warning:

"But I have this complaint against you. You don’t love me or each other as you did at first!" —Revelation 2:4

I noticed that there are many different phrasing to this verse. The version that I always use is NLT, but in some versions, it's "first love", or "the love you had at first." In NLT, there's a footnote that in Greek, it says "You have lost your first love."

What love have they lost? The sermons I hear always talk about the zeal they had for ministry. They are not as passionate as loving God as before. Probably was. However, we should also consider Paul's letter to the Ephesians.

"Ever since I first heard of your strong faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for God’s people everywhere, I have not stopped thanking God for you. I pray for you constantly, asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God." —Ephesians 1:15-17

In the first chapters, Paul refreshed their faith by writing how Christ saved us, both Jews and Gentiles, and are called to be in one body, as He is the head. Then, we get to his real mandate: as they grow in their love in God, so should their love for their neighbor. Paul summons up that the point of the Gospel is not purely for intellectual discussions. The outcome of right doctrine should be loving one another and the pursuit of harmonious living. We see decrees on how to keep relationships holy: husbands and wives, servants and masters, parents and children, and as one church.

From these, should we concur they have lost their love for God? They were being praised for their faithfulness, though. "You have examined the claims of those who say they are apostles but are not. You have discovered they are liars. You have patiently suffered for me without quitting." The original Greek word used for love in Rev. 2:4 is ἀγάπην (agapēn), which means goodwill, affection, benevolence, charity. In their pursuit of holiness and purity in doctrines, they have failed to obey the Lord's commandment to love others.

Let's hark back to Paul's letter to Timothy,

"The purpose of my instruction is that all believers would be filled with love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and genuine faith. But some people have missed this whole point. They have turned away from these things and spend their time in meaningless discussions." —1 Timothy 1:5-6

"So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples." —John 13:34-35

The loss of its testimony is directly related to the loss of brotherly love. Love for one another was not only commanded by our Lord, it was to be an essential element of their witness to the lost. —Bob Deffinbaugh

Preaching about losing passion does not sit right with me personally. Did Christ really complained that they're not doing more for him? Is that Christian living? Do these things bring us closer to God? To his church? To the lost? (Do we even have an idea how we are perceived by those who do not subscribe to religion?)

"Look how far you have fallen! Turn back to me and do the works you did at first. If you don’t repent, I will come and remove your lampstand from its place among the churches." —Revelation 2:5

Now that we have put things in proper perspective and established our goal, we can reflect. Have we put others in expense as we follow righteousness? How have we dealt with people we disagreed with lately? Is living in harmony and peace still important to us? The love of God is what separates us from the world. Do we still manifest it? While there are disagreements we can only leave to God to restore, I believe hostility should not be found in us.

We are God's children. We should be intellectual and strong in our convictions, but also good with words and merciful.

Repent. Love. Again.

#chierushiblogs

3 notes · View notes

moinsbienquekaworu · 2 years

Note

yooooo Star Wars ocs?? *grabby hands* share. infodump. how much swag do they have on a scale from 1-10

Pigeon I love you I am kissing you right now (platonically but enthusiastically)

Okay so the main guys that keep occupying my brain are Korcha and her lineage, Reil, Devafe and Lineth. You've seen my drawings of them I think? Korcha's the spider lady, Reil is her first apprentice with the long hair, Devafe her second apprentice, she's the one with the cool art where she's doing lightsaber training, and Lineth is a wet little cat girl (affectionate)

First off, they all have swag by virtue of being Jedi, I don't think you can manage to be under a like 3-4 in swag when you're proficient at using cool laser swords and space magic. That said, among other Jedi, Korcha is swag enough but not exceedingly, maybe a 5 or a 6 depending on who you ask? She's got wild anecdotes, by the Clone Wars era she's in her 70s and you don't get to that point as a Jedi without cool life skills, plus she's pretty good at Jar'kai (using two lightsabers simultaneously), and that's really cool, but she's nerfed by the importance she puts on Rules and The Correct Thing To Do, which makes her a more reasonable person and therefore less likely to do absurd but cool stuff.

Reil is on the list of swagest people in the Temple because by the Clone Wars he's been a crèchemaster for like 15 years and that means a lot of the younger Jedi know him and like him. He's good at his job he's patient and he lets the kids play with paint and that means if there were contests like you see in fics for various title among the Jedi Order he would be in the top contender for Coolest Crèchemaster or something. Like that cool counselor people like, or the teacher everyone wants to have in class. A solid like 8/10 at least

I'm not subjective on Devafe because I project onto her accidentally her vibe is Dooku but to the left, since they've got similar fighting styles and that's linked to who she is as a person, and Makashi simply is The swagest form out of the seven (or like, Vaapad, we love Mace here) So automatically she gets points for that because who doesn't love someone who fights in a focussed, neat and precise, fencing-like style with cool laser swords, even when they prefer reading books? Nobody. She's cool. She doesn't go below a 7 and I'm not being nice here purely because she was a bit of an annoying teenager (like Korcha btw lol, like master like apprentice sometimes)

Lineth is - I want to be nice to her because she deserves it, and she gets a pity point for staying alive the whole war, a feat not all Jedi could accomplish, and certainly not all Padawans. Ahsoka makes it, of course, but Ahsoka is Special and Cooler Than Everyone Else, and Lineth is just there trying not to break down more than once a week. That's still like a 5 though, but it's not her fault she doesn't get to develop fully as a person because there's a war on :( In the alternate world where everything is okay and the war ends she gets more confident and she's swager though don't worry about her

Other SW OCs are Cehim, who makes maps and lives alone in her spaceship and is part of a group of artists and has multiple QPPs and is a bit like a space version of Meredith but different, she's super cool I love her, 9/10 at least; and the clone commanders under Devafe and Korcha & Lineth during the war. Devafe's commander, Jellyfish, picked his name because he likes jellyfish, and that immediately gives him a 8/10 on the swag scale, plus he talks shit with Devafe sometimes and that's extremely fun to me. Korcha & Lineth's commander (or technically captain but he kind of fills the role of commander since Lineth is a baby) is called Stellar and he's wonderful, dare I say he does a stellar job, you get the idea, he was the first (but not the last) to see Lineth and think oh, that's a baby, she needs a friend not someone who'll obey her orders, as opposed to Korcha who during the war wanted competent officers first and then people she could have tea with second, though she very much wanted both, and for that he's also swag, maybe a 7/10. What do you want, all of them except Cehim and Reil fought in a war, that makes you swag just by virtue of The Horrors <3

#thank you so much dear wife/husband/wifeband #i love you and i am once again kissing you #kisses kisses kisses kisses #wow i have an ocs tag now #wow i have an asks tag now

5 notes · View notes

lonelier-version-of-you · 1 year

Text

Back to series 15 of Holby - this time, I’ll be watching S15E24 “Journey’s End”. I don’t know what it says about me that I just keep thinking “oh, there was also a Doctor Who episode with that title” lol.

Edit 1: Oh, Tara. :( And Ollie being so worried about her. :’))

Edit 2: It’s Chantelle’s birthday! This episode aired on the 26th of March 2013, so unless they go on to say it’s set some other day (but it definitely seems like it’s been a week since the previous episode), that’s when her birthday is.

Edit 3: That scene with Chrissie and the patient was lovely.

Edit 4: Tara 😭

Edit 5: Chantelle thinking her ex (maybe Torchwood Boy, maybe another ex, it’s not clear) is the only one to remember her birthday. :(

Edit 6: Henrik and Tara scene!!

Edit 7: It honestly didn’t click with me until just now that Jake doesn’t know (at this point) about Malick being gay.

Edit 8: I’m so obsessed with this whole “secret birthday party for Chantelle” plot. This is the kind of fun later Holby almost always lacked in.

Edit 9: This episode is leaning really hard into the whole ‘Arthur is autistic’ thing, lol.

Edit 10: Jing Lusi being brilliant again. I love Tara (and her relationship with Ollie) so much.

Edit 11: I hate how this dad on AAU is behaving towards his daughter.

Edit 12: Arthur and Ollie scene! I do miss when people from different wards would interact.

Edit 13: Speaking of autistic Arthur, he just said: “The thing is, I just - I tend to find that being myself doesn’t really work for me.”

Edit 14: “Technically that’s four words, isn’t it? Two contracted.” Why is Arthur in this episode acting just like me.

Edit 15: Okay, so apparently Torchwood Boy is indeed the ex who called Chantelle earlier. And she’s going out for a meal with him. Chantelle, turning Arthur down is one thing, but don’t give Torchwood Boy the time of day! He never deserved you! You deserve better!

Edit 16: Henrik calling Tara by her first name 😭 He almost never went by first-name basis with people at this point, especially not at work. So you know he’s worried when he addresses her as “Tara” and not “Dr. Lo”.

Edit 17: Wow. Just... wow. That final monologue from Tara just blew me away. The writing, the delivery... the whole thing is just heartbreaking.

Also, just... see, this is why I don’t understand “Henrik saw Sahira as a daughter!” takes (or the fact that his actual Wikipedia page says that - I really need to update it at some point). For one thing, Guy Henry himself has said that Henrik was sexually attracted to Sahira.

But even if he hadn’t - Henrik was very clear on his interest in Sahira being romantic (he freaked out so much when she asked him if it was for a reason, he wouldn’t have been so bothered if it wasn’t the case), he repeatedly compared himself to Sahira’s romantic interests (both Greg and Rafi) with comments like “why would you be [dependent on Henrik for emotional validation] when you can derive your self-esteem from the fawning attentions of our finest beta males?”, or “What you felt in there [theatre] just now... you won’t feel that anywhere else. Or with anyone else.” (this was literally part of a rant about how if she left Holby and moved away with her husband, she’d come to resent Rafi and want to still be with Henrik instead!). Even just the way he looks at her - that’s not the way you look at someone you think of as a daughter.

I mean, I know fundamentally abuse and harassment is more about power than attraction - and it’s about power in Henrik’s case too - but in this case, attraction was most definitely a facet in the whole thing. It would still have been sexual harassment and emotional abuse (yes, I said the words, the words fandom utterly refuses to apply to Henrik and his treatment of Sahira! Actually, there might be some interesting analysis to apply here about how people struggle to accept that someone can be an abuser to someone in their life and also have genuinely loving and positive relationships with others. Because Henrik’s not a complete monster all the time, and has had plenty of moments of care and compassion, people struggle to accept that he can have done all of that and still have abused Sahira.) if he wasn’t attracted to her, but he was.

Whereas if you look at his relationship with Tara - he genuinely loves her, worries about her, and treats her like a daughter. He cared deeply enough that even Roxanna felt the need to tell him how sorry she was after Tara’s passing. I don’t know why people say Sahira was the one he viewed as a daughter, when he was so much more parental to Tara.

I might edit this again later to cut down this meta, because the rant’s gotten longer than I intended. I have a lot of feelings about the Henrik/Tara relationship.

#holby s15 rewatch #tw;sexual harassment #tw;abuse

3 notes · View notes

madam-wakefield · 5 months

Text

OPEN WHEN… CHAPTER 18

A03 Link

Summary:

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 When a few years into their relationship Bernie is asked to go back to the army and deploy Serena isn’t sure how she’s going to get through the nine months without her girlfriend. What she doesn’t expect is for it to be her girlfriend who has the perfect set of surprises to get her through both the best and the worst days. Canon divergent - Elinor lives (well actually the accident never happens), Raf lives, and Cameron isn’t a total ass! The staff of AAU also probably didn’t all work on there at the same time in canon but do in this! The fic is already fully written with the first few chapters having already been Beta’d. 27 chapters including the epilogue. Hoping to post every Monday and Friday!

Open when you wish we could have a date night.

She’s having her monthly catch up with Fleur, it’s something that they used to do sporadically before Bernie went away but since then Fleur has made time for Serena at least once a month to ensure that Serena has someone to offload to if she needs to. Just a little piece of normality while Bernie is away.

They are waiting for their breakfast and are making small talk until she hears Fleur drop the bombshell “I may have got myself a girlfriend.”

Serena smiles, happy for the woman sat opposite her, knows that she’s been lonely just a little too long. “Well don’t leave me hanging, tell me about her.”

“She’s called Imogen,” Fleur begins, “we met through a mutual friend at their birthday party. You know me can’t help but gravitate to the lesbians!” Fleur says smirk on her face.

“I’d noticed,” Serena answers back giving her that knowing look, wonders exactly how Fleur has been single for so long when she has an insane ability to notice seemingly any member of the sapphic fan club from a mile away.

“I didn’t think anything of it at first, you know what my friendship group is like, we all go out together socially far too often in different variations, but each time we ended up at the same events we seemed to gravitate to each other.” There is a pause then as their breakfasts are brought to the table and they offer their thanks to the waiter, but soon enough the conversation is flowing again.

“It wasn’t until the fifth time, that when everyone else was getting ready to go home, Imogen asked me if I wanted to stay with her for a drink, I didn’t have work the next day and had nothing to lose so accepted easily, and well you know what it’s like one drink turned into five.

Serena gives Fleur a look, because she doesn’t need to know any more details, knows Fleur will happily share everything, definitely not shy. “Don’t give me that look Serena Campbell! Nothing happened, I was a good girl, we shared a kiss, arranged a date, and went our separate ways.”

“Going soft in your old age are you!” Serena smirks back, loves how easy she feels around Fleur, in a totally platonic way obviously.

“You wish! Just because I behaved that night doesn’t mean I have since, and honestly, if you could see her, I think you’d understand why. She’s so beautiful Serena, and so kind and caring and compassionate….”

Serena is so happy for Fleur and would love to say she keeps listening but with Fleur fawning over her new beau, Serena can’t help but let her thoughts wonder to her own and very absent lover. Today marks exactly six months since Bernie left, exactly three more until she’s due home, they’re two thirds of the way through this separation, and she can’t help but will every day to go just a little bit faster.

She’s gotten used to certain things as much as she can, the fact that she’s the one who is mostly responsible when the red phone rings to alert of a new patient coming into the trauma unit. She’s gotten used to only ordering a single glass of shiraz when she goes to the bar at Albies, doesn’t have to remind herself not to order a second glass or a whiskey. She’s grown used to watching a plethora of quiz shows, where the only questions she can guarantee to get right are the medical ones and old doctor who episodes, even though she has no idea what the heck is going on, and how come the doctor seems to have been four different people already. She still doesn’t get the regeneration thing even though Jason has exasperatedly explained it to her numerous times.

She remembers not to pick up the biscuits that Bernie loves so much but that her and Jason hate. Once a month she enjoys buying a selection of stuff to send to Bernie in the tiny shoebox size care package that never seem good enough no matter how much she tries. She’s even got used to being the one who is responsible for putting the bin out whatever the weather.

She hasn’t however got used to how empty the bed feels without Bernie or to waking up alone every morning. She hasn’t gotten used to the fact that when she looks up for reassurance in theatre that it’s Raf eyes who meet hers. She isn’t used to not being able to find Bernie for a hug, every time she feels cold or just needs to be held in that special way only Bernie can hold her. She hasn’t got used to being without the kiss of Bernie’s lips against hers at so many moments during the day, because Bernie wants to remind her that she loves her, because one of them has arrived home from work, or just because they can.

She knows without a doubt that Bernie deploying was the right thing, that they will get through the nine months, or well three months now. That in some ways it will make them stronger as a couple, but that doesn’t mean that it’s not also hard. It doesn’t stop her missing Bernie so much she feels like a piece of herself is literally missing.

“Are you actually listening to me anymore?” Serena looks up sheepishly at the comment, face portraying the fact that she most certainly had not been listening anymore. “Thinking of the one who isn’t here?” It’s a question, but it’s not at the same time. Serena knows that Fleur knows she’s thinking about Bernie.

“I miss her,” Serena says in way of response, knows that if there is anyone around that she can speak to about this that it’s Fleur. She’s not sure if it’s the fact even she believed she was straight for over fifty years, but there is something refreshing about being able to talk to Fleur about this, to someone who understands what it’s like to love another woman the way she loves Bernie.

“How long til she’s home?” And in that moment, she is so thankful for Fleur, who doesn’t tell her that it’s stupid to miss Bernie because it won’t make her come home any faster. Who doesn’t tell her to try and occupy her mind with anything else, but instead lets her talk about her feelings.

“All being well three months today, 6th May, already well and truly booked in the diary as a week off.” She watches Fleur raise her eyebrows at that and reaches across the table to gently bat her arm with her hand. “Get your head out of the bloody gutter and stop imagining me and my girlfriend naked!” Serena remarks only slightly exasperated; this is Fleur after all.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Fleur says drawing a cross over her heart, “Your girlfriend reminded me, before she went away, that I was to look after you and that she knows thirteen different ways to kill me with her bare hands.”

“Maybe I should be scared, if that’s just with her bare hands.” Serena jokes back, knows Fleur is trying to make her feel a little better.

“Excuse me, you love what her bare hands can do.” And this time Serena is scandalised, blushing furiously.

“You’re insufferable do you know that?” Serena says back when she’s finally able to formulate a sentence again.

“Yes, but you love me,” Fleur drawls at her then, all puppy dog eyes.

“Only in the platonic way, the true affection of my heart is still over three thousand miles away.” And just like that and without either of them trying the conversation is back on Bernie. “And I still miss her.”

She watches as Fleur smiles at her gently then, joking nature put aside for a few minutes. “I know you do, and I’m not going to tell you to stop, you’d be a fool if you stopped missing her, but it’ll all be worth it in the end.” And in that moment Serena is so thankful that she does know Fleur so well, that Fleur does know what she needs to hear. No, she isn’t Bernie but she considers Fleur a good friend and having her support is helpful.

After breakfast with Fleur she completes the rest of the chores she set herself to complete but even while trying to occupy herself and no matter what was said between her and Fleur she knows she’d give anything for a simple date night with Bernie now. Not because of what their date nights so often lead to, though she misses that too. But genuinely she misses small talk with Bernie, misses Bernie being able to tell her about her day, misses being able to tell Bernie about her day. She shares more via blueys than Bernie does, both because there are certain things Bernie can’t put in writing and also because there is only so much Bernie can actually do in the little down time she does get in camp. Knows that rightly or wrongly she ends up spending a lot of what should be her down time checking on her subordinates.

That evening she sits in the conservatory, heater blowing gently against her skin, she hadn’t felt up to watching quiz shows with Jason tonight but hadn’t wanted to disturb his routine, so she’d excused herself into here instead.

They had their first “date” in this conservatory, after Bernie had returned from Kiev and Jason, once he’d found the key to the office had told them he was going to spend the night with Fletch and Raf. They’d ordered take away, and talked, about all the things that had got them to that point both good and bad. There were times when Bernie had stumbled over her words not used to the communication but true to her word of having changed, she’d battled through, and it was so worth it because here they are over three years later.

She picks the “Serena – open when you need a date night” envelope off from the sofa cushion next to her, and opens its careful, can’t in many ways believe how few of the special envelopes she has left, though guesses that it’s a good thing as that means it’s getting closer for it to be time for Bernie to come home.

My Dearest Serena

I’m sorry you’re missing our date nights in my absence. I’m not sure at this point how long I’ve been gone but what I can be certain of is that I’m missing our date nights too. As much as I wish I could tell you that I could take you on a date tomorrow night I can’t, we both know that. So instead, I’m going to remind you of some of those special date nights we have had together instead.

I can still remember the first date night we had together. I’d come back from Kiev and spent the day thinking you hated me, not that I could blame you with what I’d done. Then all of a sudden, we were locked in our office, and I promised you I’d changed and you told me you wanted to have that meal we’d never been able to have three months before. Told me that this time it was going to be at your house so we could talk properly.

We ordered Chinese take away, laughed gently when we realised how similar our orders were. We spent the rest of the evening sitting and talking and working out ways to ensure we never made those kinds of mistakes in our relationship again.

Then there was our first proper date night at the Italian with the extensive wine list, the way Sammie looked at us both and told us she was glad we’d finally admitted what it had been obvious we’d both wanted all those months before. If only it had been so obvious to the pair of us what the other wanted, hey.

Then there’s the first missed date night, the one that when you came to my flat to pick me up you told me that I just looked too irresistible. You couldn’t help but attach your lips to mine, pushed me back inside my flat where we spent the evening making love and totally ignoring the fact we were meant to be going out to eat, and eating each other out instead we might both be well over fifty but doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy a good time.

There was that date when we went to London for the weekend, we went to the theatre, and I may have used sitting so close to you as an excuse to spend the whole time holding your hand or stroking your leg. At the interval the lady who had been sitting behind us had approached us and asked us how we dared to be so brave, and open, because she wanted what we had but hadn’t even told her family yet. We were honest with her and told her that it wasn’t always easy, but the benefits definitely outweighed the fear. I still wonder about her sometimes, wonder if she was ever able to be brave.

There was the date night that went so horribly wrong because as soon as we got to the restaurant, I realise that I’d caught the sickness bug going around AAU. Rather than complaining however, you took me home and looked after me in a way someone had never done for me before, and I fell even more in love with you than I already was. There have been innumerable numbers of other dates but as much as I wish I did, I don’t have forever to write this letter.

I hope that these memories have helped you feel at least a little bit better. I know they’re what I’ll think of every time I wish I could have a date night with you. And I can’t wait for what I know will be a very special first date night once I’m back. If you need to before than take Fleur on a platonic date somewhere and enjoy yourself, just make sure Fleur behaves herself because you’re mine!

I love you and miss you so much.

All My Love Bernie,

Your Big Macho Army Medic x

Serena can’t help but laugh, if only Bernie knew it was Fleur’s fault that she’s feeling this way. Loves the fact that Bernie trusts her so much that she knows Fleur isn’t really a threat as much as they joke. So, she does what Bernie says and arranges a platonic date with Fleur and when she also meets Imogen during that platonic date three days later, well she can totally see why Fleur is so infatuated with her. She’s so happy for the other woman and reminds herself once more that her own lover will be back in less than three months.

#Open When #Madam Wakefield Writes #Berena #Bernie Wolfe #Serena Campbell #Holby #Holby City #Buckle Fandom #Berena Fanfic #Berena Fanfiction #Berena FF

0 notes

skythesnake · 5 months

Text

Fury of Nations - Chapter Four

Previous Chapter: 3

Chapter One: 1

Next Chapter: 5

Chapter 4

“For Fijar’s sake, Dilan!” I turned to see Talyn yelling at Dilan again. The two of them really needed to be able to train together sometimes, but every time I left them unattended, Talyn ended up yelling at Dilan for something or other.

“I cannot work with you, you are a dreadful fighter.” He continued. Dilan didn’t respond, he just stood there staring at Talyn as if he could see into his soul. I’d been on the receiving end of one of those stares and it was genuinely unsettling. Talyn stood glaring at Dilan and I hoped he’d give it up for a minute, but instead he just continued to berate him. I sighed and left Ta’eel to walk over.

“Stop it, both of you!” I commanded when I reached them. Dilan looked at me with a startled expression and Talyn turned his glare on me, but didn’t say anything,

“Talyn, Dilan is not a dreadful fighter, he is a good fighter. He just does not meet your expectations because they are excessively high. Dilan,” I turned to face him, “You really need to stop just staring at people when they pick a fight with you. It only makes them angrier and unless you are staring down a… a Hidalni or something, you are not menacing enough to keep them from messing with you further.” I stared down at the both of them disapprovingly.

“Why do not you both take a break. Ta’eel?” I called over my shoulder at the Tashikan who I had now seen fight first hand, “why do not you train Dilan when he is ready? Talyn, how are your long-range skills?” I asked. He gave me a look.

“How do you think? Top marks, just like close-range combat.”

“Perfect, then you can teach me how to better my aim in throwing knives and axes when you are done with your break. If Shinael is back, you can teach the both of us, or maybe I will send them in to train with Ta’eel and Dilan, we will see what they are up to.” Talyn nodded and walked over to go get water.

“Dilan? I said it before, but you really do have to get the staring under control. Everyone communicates in different ways, but there are some ways that just are not good.” He nodded at me and sighed.

“I know. It’s been a problem my whole life. I don’t really know what else to do though.” I paused, wondering if an offer from me would be too strange.

“Maybe… If you want to sometime, I can teach you some basics? I am not a master communicator myself, but I can give you pointers on some of the more obvious things you do.” He smiled at me and nodded.

“Sure. At this point, I think anything’ll help.” He laughed and wandered over to get some water. Ta’eel bumped my elbow with hers and winked at me as she passed. Other cultures non-verbal communications will always be a mystery. Was it simply a playful wink that meant ‘hello my friend’, or was she teasing me about something? I hadn’t studied Tashikan body language yet, but maybe I should do that tonight. I had another trip to the library scheduled tonight so I could return some of the books I’d borrowed. Perhaps I’d bring Dilan with me. He did mention something about mythology books. I’d be interested to hear his favorite myths and perhaps start with those.

I sighed as Ta’eel gave me a smile I could tell was forced for the umpteenth time. Since Kishan and Talyn had left to practice at the ranges, Ta’eel had been training me. She was so much more patient than Talyn was, but I just wasn’t getting it like I knew she wanted me to. She paused and looked up at the sky.

“It’s getting late and most people have left. If you want to continue we can, but I don’t know that more training right now is going to help. You’re good, but I can tell you’re frustrated now and training while angry doesn’t help you learn.” I nodded and she made is if to walk away but then paused, blinked a few times, and then continued towards the weapons rack to put her borrowed sword away. I narrowed my eyes at her slightly, trying to discern what that might have been. I have the ability to see what I call ‘aura’s’. They tell me a lot about a person, including their race, sense of purpose in life, gender, and current emotion. However, Ta’eel’s aura was strange. Her emotions, which are usually arranged in categories at a person’s head, shoulders and stomach, seemed all mixed up. Sometimes happiness would show in her head, then her left shoulder. Sometimes anger and happiness might show in the exact same place. On top of that her aura was a strange color that I hadn’t seen before. Tashikan auras were usually a teal/cyan color, depending on their sense of purpose in life. But Ta’eel’s was mostly black, with occasional swirls of dark blue. In moments like that, where she seemed slightly out of focus, the blue swirls would overwhelm the black for a flash of a moment before retreating entirely for a little. I didn’t know what it meant, but to be honest, it scared me a little. Kishan and Talyn walked towards us, evidently of the same mind as we were.

“Time to go start a campfire, the sky’s getting dark. Shinael showed up a little while ago, but they were tired from specialized training, so I sent them back to camp to rest.” Kishan said. Ta’eel and Kishan ascended the stairs chatting about various things while Talyn packed up his personal weapons. I hesitated for a moment, wanting to say something, but I didn’t know what I should say. After a second or two, I headed up the stairs too. I was about halfway up when Talyn shouldered past me, but then shook his head and stumbled back, nearly falling.

“Talyn? Are you alright?” I asked, worried he might have tripped. He looked wildly alarmed and stared at me blankly before shaking his head again and shoving my shoulder aside.

“I’m fine.” He growled. He didn’t seem ‘fine’ to me, but I knew better than to contradict him. I’d tell Kishan about it later and they could talk to him about it. A worry flickered in the back of my mind. An old memory about a boy I liked when I was much younger. The first and last time he kissed me, he had gotten a glimpse of my power. That was the last time he talked to me. Had that happened with Talyn just now, did his hand brush mine as he walked past me? Most people weren’t able to see what I did just by touching me and I didn’t understand why some could. I pushed that aside for now, I couldn’t afford to worry about that too. I walked up the stairs and caught up with Kishan and Ta’eel. Walking to the cabin circle, Talyn had apparently shut himself in his cabin already, having speed walked back and Shinael had a fire going.

‘__ __ alright?’ Shinael asked. I only recognized the last sign they made and I let Kishan answer, assuming Shinael was inquiring about Talyn. Kishan and Shinael talked in sign for a little before Ta’eel settled down by the fire and kicked her feet up on what would have been Talyn’s chair.

“Does anyone want to go get food for the lot of us? I can if no one else wants to, or we can all serve ourselves, either way works for me.” She said. Shinael offered to go get some food for us and they came back with five plates.

“I am to go give Talyn his food. Although acting strange, Talyn needs food.” They said over their shoulder as they walked away. I’d been startled the first time I heard them speak. They were only a little shorter than Talyn, and however slimly built, I still wasn’t expecting a soft, high pitched voice from them. Apparently all Vishali had higher pitched voices, and most were soft spoken whenever they chose to speak out loud, but it still felt a little strange.

“Alright. If he attacks you, yell for help. No point in trying to save an ego.” Ta’eel joked. Shinael didn’t respond and I sat back and watched the fire as I ate. Eventually, Kishan stood up, explaining that they were going to the library to return a few books. There was an odd pause before they left where it seemed as if they wanted to say something, but they didn’t. I let myself watch them walk away, shame and disappointment glimmering in the section at their right shoulder.

#writing #original writing #queer writers #creative writing

1 note · View note

confessions-of-a-paramedic · 2 years

Text

What’s the worst thing that you have seen?

Every paramedic, ambulance technician, nurse, doctor, police and fire fighter will at some point get asked “what’s the worst thing that you have seen?” I’m not quite sure how to respond. Are they asking what keeps me up a night, what job has burned itself on the back of my eyes, that every time I fall asleep it’s the last thing I see and when I wake up it’s the first thing, that similarities with other incidents brings the memories flooding back to the forefront, or do they just want to hear about all the blood and the guts and the gore. It’s a strange thing to ask a member of the emergency services or military. Looking back I think one of the strangest things I’ve been asked was “how many dead bodies have you seen?” I’ve been asked a number of different questions throughout the years. “What’s the worst thing? what’s the most interesting thing? How many dead bodies? What’s the best part of the job? What’s the worst part of the job? How many lives have you saved? What’s your favourite job to attend? Your job must be frustrating at times? Although that’s more of a statement than a question but nethertheless the person expected a reply. The one I can not recall ever being asked is what are the biggest non ambulance jobs have you been sent to. So here are some of mine:

Cat 2 chest pain - Back sunburnt unable to put cream on it

Cat 1 fitting - 19 year old had a nightmare

Cat2/3 Cold & flu multiple times - told to sleep it off drink fluids and take paracetamol.

Cat 2 unconscious - Unable to turn the tv/light off

Cat 2 chest pain - Carers haven’t arrived on time

Cat 2 unconscious multiple - Passerby calls for someone unconscious but won’t go near them or remain at location - homeless and doesn’t want/need help

Cat 2 respiratory distress - White things in babies gums known to be teething was in fact teething

Cat 1 ineffective breathing - Put rubbish in the bin with a barrage of abuse when refused

Cat 2 vomiting - Vomiting 3 times in an hour

Cat 2 ACS - 1 episode of loose stools

Cat 1 major haemorrhage - Drunk alcohol and wants a lift home 20miles away

Cat 1 major haemorrhage - Needs their urine catheter emptying, more than capable of walking to a toilet

Cat 2 not alert - Check their house thermostat

Cat 2 unwell not alert - wanted us to give them paracetamol

Cat 2 chest pain - needs help to commode. - same patient calls back 6 hours later saying we have left equipment there, next crew arrived again wanted help to toilet. (Capable of moving to commode themselves)

Cat 2 not alert - elderly man watching hardcore porn wanted a paracetamol to make him feel better. Nothing actually wrong with him no pain or temperature.

Cat 2 chest pain - tired wanted a prescription for sleeping tablets, ongoing condition investigated by multiple doctors. Had a go at us for not giving her any medication because in Poland the ambulance service turns up and gives you tablets.

Cat 1 2year old cardiac arrest from 111. On phone to parent telling mother to do CPR. On arrival kid turns me into a climbing frame. Kid is running around house playing and laughing. Had slight temperature. Mother told call handler patient not in cardiac arrest.

Cat 2 DIB - 3rd ambulance to attended 2nd within an hour. Anxious called back as symptoms changed from previous. But didn’t want to go to hospital due to Covid risk refused obs as they had been done despite condition apparently changing.

Cat 1 cardiac arrest - drunk 15yo pretending to be in cardiac arrest friends done CPR they remembered everything and told me they had faked it, now has mild chest pain. Informed parents.

Cat 2 unconscious drunk, - on underground platform 26yom. Not responding to us. Carried up 4 flights of stairs 2 escalators onto ambulance no response but not unconscious. Taken to a&e. While at hospital opens eyes tells me they wasn’t unconscious that they didn’t response as was scared when we showed up and throughout journey in ambulance. Allowed themselves to be “kidnapped” because they was scared Of who we could have been despite telling them we are the ambulance service.

Cat 1 111 cardiac arrest - Patient on phone out of hours doctor wanted ambulance there quickly patient not in cardiac arrest. Wife has a go at us for not taking patient to hospital on blue lights and driving to the speed limit despite no clinical Reason to.

Cat 2 sepsis - GP surgery pat made to sit by GP in waiting room alone. NEWS-0 Was not septic at all.

Cat 2 meningitis - in GP surgery. Stating photophobia and neck stiffness. Bright as a million suns in gp room kid looking all round eyes wide open. No rash playing as normal, no signs of meningitis.

Cat 2 unresponsive - MDT message - known hoax caller, if call hoax please contacted police. Was in fact a hoax call nothing wrong with patient just made inappropriate comments to female crew member.

Cat 1 stabbed - abdominal stabbing in phone box loosing consciousness, call handler hears phone drop and bang. 1 Air ambulance, 2 DCA (double crewed ambulance), 2 fast response car (FRU/RRV), 1 clinical manager, 1 incident response manager, 1 advanced paramedic, 4 armed police response vehicles, police helicopter (NPAS) and multiple response officers. No patient at location, through search of surrounding area. No patient found. Leave scene called back to same phone box for collapsed patient again no patient found.

I’ve had a few patients also tell me that I have to do what they want me to as they pay taxes and therefore my wages and they demand I do what they tell me. My reply is often, I pay my own taxes, I therefore pay my own wages, I do not pay myself to be spoken to by people like you, goodbye.

These calls and people who think this is appropriate need to understand that their actions have direct implications on people who actually need an ambulance. By them calling in for these things and similar, delays us from arriving to patients who need us and people do die because of this (more on that in another post to come).

Please only call 999 in an emergency! Think before you call. Think before asking someone what’s the worst thing you have seen!

#ambulance #ambulance service #health #health care #medical #medicine #paramedic #nhs #emergency services #ptsd #hoax #confession #police #fire fighters

1 note · View note

boldlyvoid · 3 years

Text

Million Dollar Man | chapter two

18+

summary: Spencer's therapist recommended he branch out and meet new people who don't want to talk about his work... she didn't expect him to sign up for a Sugar Daddy website.

Content warnings: sugar daddy!spencer, age gaps (14 years), daddy kink, blow jobs, kissing, drinking mention, lowkey perv!Spencer, cum play, praise, oral (female receiving), grinding, love confessions, arrangements, Spencers anxiety, (more to add)

word count: 3.4K

a/n: updates on Wednesdays and saturdays at 2 pm est

Chapter Two | Masterlist

She sat on the subway with an anxious pit in her stomach and her purse held close to her chest. Her laptop in her bag, she didn’t want to lose it on her way to the most important meeting of her whole life.

Her story was becoming a book, she was almost done the final draft, they were making touch-ups to the cover and picking the type of paper today.

Her dreams were coming true within the next month, soon she’d have a physical copy of her book, her pre-sales were showing that she’d be on the bestseller list, and her name was finally going to be on the cover of this one.

She sighed and reached for her necklace, holding it between her fingers as she took a few deep breaths. She was doing so much better today than she was last year and it was all because of Spencer, he was the best thing to happen to her. To think she complimented his sweater vest and now he’s the only person in her life she can count on.

All she can think about is him for the rest of her journey, through 4 more stops she keeps her eyes closed as she thinks of all his little facts and his cute laugh. She smiles to herself and the anxiety slips away, she loves him and she knows that for sure, but she just doesn’t know how she loves him.

She’s never had a sibling, her best friends are all women, her previous boyfriends were all shit and her other sugar daddies were never this wonderful, and her parents are lesbians… she doesn’t know what her feelings really are for Spencer, mainly because she’s never known any other men to compare him to.

But she does know the exact moment she realized she fell for him.

He booked a hotel room in DC after a local case, asking her to meet him in there at 10 pm. She was waiting in the bathtub when he arrived, bubbles galore, her hair up and arms open, “welcome home, honey.”

He laughs, “you want me to get in there with you?”

She just nods, “let me take care of you, daddy?”

He takes off his blazer, pulls his tie off and starts to unbutton his shirt. She watches patiently as he gets undressed, and it’s not sexual to her. He’s her person, her best friend, the only human being she would ever share a moment like this with and that’s when it hits her.

She doesn’t accept it just yet.

It’s not until he’s lying on her chest, between her legs, cheek resting on her boobs as she runs a sponge over his back while he gives her a little run down on his terrible week. His co-worker almost died, his mom is stressing him out, the only good thing he has left is her and she knows that.

“And then I get to my moms facility and she’s had a really good day, she knows me and she knows all of my childhood again and she’s all right there in front of me and yet she’s so far away. I’m never going to get all the time I want with her and it’s really hard to accept.”

He shares things with her that he doesn’t even tell his therapist. Because his therapist doesn’t hold him like a child against her chest and tell him he’s okay when he get’s upset.

Y/N loves him, so she kisses his forehead, “I’m so sorry, I have 2 moms if you’d like to have one?”

“It’s okay, I would love to meet them sometime though,” he wraps his arms around her waist a little tighter under the water. “Thank you for tonight.”

“Did I mention my leg is 44 inches from hip to toe?” She asks in the middle of the silence, quoting pretty woman, knowing he hasn’t seen that far into the movie yet. “So basically we’re talking about 88 inches of therapy for the bargain price of $800 dollars a week.”

Her legs wrap around him and their naked bodies are closer than they’ve ever been and yet it’s completely platonic, “I’d spend a million dollars on you if it always meant feeling this good after.”

She runs her cheek along his wet hair as he snuggles into her neck, “mmm, I like the sound of that,” she teased. “My million dollar man.”

Her stop rolls around and she pulls herself out of her day dreams to get off the train and head to her meeting. She smiles as she walks through the station, up the stairs and onto the busy downtown streets when she gets a text with Spencers special chime. She opens it when she gets to where she’s going, safely inside and in the waiting room.

It makes her laugh in the waiting room. People look at her but she doesn’t care, he’s so special to her she feels butterflies in her stomach even when he’s not around.

“Y/N!” She hears her name being called by her editor, he’s over ecstatic as he comes running out to get her. “Come, come we have so many choices to make!” He jumps up and down as he holds her arm, like a child in a candy store.

“Andy, chill man,” she laughs at him and plays it cool, “It’s just the cover being finalized.”

“It’s our baby!” He teases back, pushing his glasses up and tugging her behind the glass doors of the office.

She’s surrounded by people and paper and huge versions of her book cover. She has a sharpie as she fixed mistakes and jots down final ideas. “And I wan’t Phil to look more human and less like data from Star Trek?”

“But Dorothy looks okay?” The artist asks, nervously and Y/N can tell.

“She looks beautiful! You really brought her justice,” she smiles, “really she looks the same in my head! It’s just Phil and I’m sure it’s tough getting a drawing to look like a robotic human, let alone human.”

“I have some ideas?” She opens up more, taking her iPad out and sliding it across the table, “I wanted to give him more of a Sophia feel? His face is silicone but his joints and everything are more like an Elon Musk crash dummy.”

“That’s perfect!” She’s shocked, “why didn’t that go in the first draft?”

“I was worried it was too much,” she’s a little older than Y/N, and yet her anxiety is that of a teenage girl. “I’m going to get working on the final, do you want some emailed versions tonight?”

“Yes please,” she smiles.

“So we’re done?” Andy asks, “we’ve made all our final calls?”

“I believe we have,” Y/N closes her laptop and takes her phone out, taking a photo of the final rough sketch of her book cover on the table to send to Spencer before he comes to pick her up. She can’t wait to see him now.

—

They’re sitting side by side in matching spa robes, he’s getting a pedicure while she gets her nails done. Leaning back in her chair with a face mask and cucumbers on her eyes, she’s never felt more relaxed in her life. And just in time too, her back was killing her from writing, her knuckles hurt and she just needed a break.

Spencer did too, he was genuinely not having a good time at work anymore, every case made him spiral and he always looked to Y/N on days like that. They met more than once a week now, she got $800 every Friday and she didn’t even really need it anymore. He was coving for so much of her bills and lively hood that her savings account was growing and growing because of him.

For the first time in her life she thought she would be okay if a man left her. As terrible as it was, as much as her moms tried to raise her differently, she fell down the daddy issues rabbit hole and she’s never going to find her way out— however, luckily for her, Spencer is down here too, and he brought a flashlight.

He understands her, more than anyone else on earth. He knows all her secrets, every crush and bad grade and snide remark she’s ever kept to herself. He didn’t judge her, he could actually listen to her issues and tell her why she had them. He gave better advice than a therapist and he was able to get information for her if he didn’t know the answer to what she was going through.

He’s absolutely everything to her and yet he’s 14 years older than her, he’s still traumatized beyond belief, he’s sad and ashamed and recovering… but he’s the best man in the whole world and she wishes he could see that. If he just looked at himself from her eyes, if he felt how she did in her soul when they were together, he’d love himself.

They’re too relaxed to drive home, and Spencer knew that would happen beforehand, bringing her a change of clothes (lingerie) and that robe me mentioned. He books a hotel above the spa and takes her to it. Arms linked as they enter the suite, she’s amazed to find more than one gift bag on the bed.

“How many gifts is this now?”

“We’re at 5 out of 24.”

She laughs as she wraps her arms around him in a thank you hug, “this is what you consider 4 gifts? Spencer there are like 8 things on the bed, let alone the massage and manicure?”

“If you think this is too much I guess you’re going to get really mad next week,” he teases as she looks up at him with a surprised look on her face.

“Spencer, I am so busy next week, I cannot be galavanting around with my sugar daddy,” she tries to act like she doesn’t want to go on an adventure with him again.

The last trip they took was the best week of her life. They went to all the historical sites in the UK that she and Spencer had talked about. Mainly old churches and castles, strange poets graves, random art and most importantly; stone henge. It was a trip of a lifetime and he took it with her.

“I watched the rest of Pretty Woman the other day,” he smiles, “and I thought I’d pull an Edward Lewis and really surprise you because you deserve it.”

“You know how the movie ends, right?” Her heart beats really fast in her chest and she wants him to love her so bad but it’s also terrifying now that she’s this close.

“He lets her choose,” he whispers.

“He rescues her,” she corrects him.

“And she rescues him right back,” he really did watch the end of the movie.

It makes her heart skip a beat as she swallows sharply, “what does this mean for us?”

“I have a whole plan, a whole sequence of events I want to stick to. I wanted to make you fall in love with me this week and ask you on your birthday, can we still do that?” He pleads with her, he’s so serious. He’s clearly put a lot of effort into this.

“Absolutely,” she smiles, “but if you’re going to make me wait that long for you to ask, you still can’t kiss me till then. No matter how much I already love you.”

“Really?” He’s so soft with her, she knows he’s not reacting to the teasing. He’s never had someone tell him they love him and then stay after.

“I would never lie to you about that, spence. I know what love means to you, I know how scared you are and I’m scared too. But I know there is no one else in the whole world I’d rather be scared with than you,” she holds him tighter and rubs her nose against his, “so what’s in the bags, daddy? Finish your surprise.”

She plays along perfectly, stepping back and hauling him towards the bed. “I got you some outfits and things for the next 2 weeks, we have a few things planned. We’re going on a flight soon, I have new luggage being delivered to your apartment this week and we’re going to see your moms for 3 days.”

“No,” she shakes her head, “there’s no way, Spencer, I haven’t seen them in 5 years, I’m going to cry.”

“I know,” he cups her jaw with his hand. “They’re really excited to see you.”

She hugs him tight, kissing his neck as she holds him. “Thank you, daddy, do you want me to put something on for you now?”

“I’m just going to take it off you, plus, what your wearing is sexy enough, he whispers back. “You’re always so beautiful, baby.”

“I thought you were saving the best for last?” She asks as she pulls back, overly eager and he can tell.

“I want to repay the favour from the other night.”

She doesn’t mean to gasp and yet she does, “please?”

He pulls on the tie of her robe, opening it enough to snake a hand behind her back and draw her in with a hand on her bare back. “Please what?”

“Please, daddy?” She looks up with her best begging eyes, perfect pout and all. “I want you to touch me, I promise I’ll be a good girl.”

He steps away from her to swipe all the bags off the bed before picking her up and laying her back against the pillows. He kisses down her body, hand on her lover back as she arches, he drags his bottom lip from her belly button to her cleavage. Nipping and sucking at the exposed skin on her chest, pulling her breasts out of the bra to suck on her nipples, she moans and it’s louder than she expected.

As she plays with his hair, he marks her, bruising small little love bites all the way down as he makes his way between her legs, “take me, please?”

He’s been dreaming of this for so long, he can’t even give you an accurate number of times his mind has drifted to the thought of how wonderful she would taste, how beautiful she’d sound…

“Tell me how badly you want me?” He asks as he spreads her legs and kisses her left thigh.

“I haven’t had sex in 10 months while waiting for you. Daddy, please you’ve owned me for so long, just take what’s yours already for gods sa- OH!”

With a broad lick, his tongue flattens against her core and it shuts her up. She gets what she wants, holding into his hair as she tosses her head back, taking it all in and enjoying it. He’s been on her mind for months, every time her vibrator was where he is now, she thought of him. he’s been the man of her dreams longer than she’s known him, and he was proving it.

“Right there, daddy,” she speaks through shallow breaths, “do you know how much I’ve thought of this?”

“You know I don’t,” the vibrations of his voice against her skin are glorious, he looks up at her through his lashes as his tongue flicks over her clit and she shakes a bit.

“Fuck,” she gasps, gripping his hair tighter, “better than I thought you’d be, fuck, too bad you— Jesus, don’t have the stash anymore…”

He stops and looks up at her, the smirk on his face glistening with her juices, “the stash?”

She nods, “I’ve thought about calling it the pussy tickler,” she teases, running her hand down his cheek and swiping her thumb across his bottom lip before bringing it up to her mouth to taste, “I want more of you.”

He kisses back up her body and she reaches for his robe the second he’s close enough. “Just grind against me? I know you’re waiting but we can still feel good together?”

He kisses the side of her mouth and she takes that as a yes, wrapping her legs around him so his hard cock is pressed right against her core as they move their hips in synchronicity with each other. His breathing is heavy as he kisses her cheek and jaw, her nails scratch down his back, he feels absolutely amazing against her.

She feels so empty, she wants him so bad she’s clenching around nothing as she squirms against his cock and wishes she was full.

“I wish I could move time,” she whispers. “Fuck, why can’t it be my birthday?”

He laughs against her, grazing his teeth over her neck and drawing another moan from her but then he stops moving his hips, “why are you so impatient?”

“Remember I said I stopped enjoying everything? Well, taking a 10 month break from sex and thinking about you every time I got off has made me desperate,” her hand cups his cheek, “I’d wait forever for you, but a girl needs to be fucked hard every once in a while.”

Only she could find a way to make something both profoundly beautiful and whorish at the same time, he loved her for it and she knew that now. He smiles and leaned in to rub his nose against hers and it takes everything in her not to kiss him. The same way it was taking everything in him not to slip into her as he began to grind against her once more.

She’s so close, the accidental edging has added a whole new level of desperation she’s never felt before. She wants to cum for him so bad, but more importantly she wants him to cum for her.

“Take my bra off,” she whispers, Spencer’s hands travel behind her back to unclasp it and he helps her out of it before tossing it to the floor.

“Cum for me daddy,” she whispers in his head with a hand in his hair, gripping him tightly as he bites at her neck, “cover me with your cum like you’re marking your territory.”

“Shit,” his hips sputter against hers.

“Say it, I know you want to,” she teases, so close to the edge but it’s too good of an opportunity. She loves seeing him fall apart like this and she can’t wait to see it again. “Who’s am I?”

“Daddy’s girl.”

He grinds down on her harder and faster and she’s so close, the bubble in her gut is reaching a fever pitch and with a gasp, she’s cumming and then she feels it. His load covers her stomach as he pants against her neck and grips her hips tighter as he comes down.

She wraps her arms around him and holds him as close as humanly possible, her breathing still heavy as he rises and falls on her chest. He’s heavy but she doesn’t care, she just kisses the top of his head and thanks him.

He brushes his nose against her neck, nuzzling her like a cat, “do you really mean it?”

“What, honey?” He remembers so much, this could be a question about something she said 2 months or 2 minutes ago and she has no clue.

“You’re not just playing along with my kinks right, you genuinely want to be mine?”

For being her million dollar man, his heart sure was broke. This is why he wasn’t ready, he still didn’t understand why she would want to stay without anything in return, he’s gotten so used to paying her for her time now that his anxiety has managed to convince him that she’ll leave when he stops being worth it to her.

“What does my necklace say?” She asks, knowing how close he was to it. “Read it to me, I forget.”

“Daddy’s girl,” he smiles again.

She soothes her hands over his back, “I would do anything with you because I love and trust you, but also because everything you do is sexy… you could read me the dictionary and I’d still want you to pump me full of cum after.”

“It sounds so crude after,” he laughs, “speaking of, we really need to have a shower.”

“I’ll wash your back if you wash mine?” She teases as he gets up.

“Only if you let me wash the front too?”

She smacks his bare ass and races him into the bathroom, turning on the water and getting in with him while still laughing and carrying on. He’s her best friend in the whole world, there’s no one else she would rather do this with… there was no one she has done this with. No one has made her feel this good, before during and after sex.

Spencer Reid was an anomaly, but he was hers.

Permanent tag list:

@g0lden-cth @doctorspenceryeet @samuel-de-champagne-problems @reiding-recs @shemarmooresfedora @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @blanchardsbk @idonotexiste @measure-in-pain @dreams-in-blxck @doc-padfoot @nomajdetective @mggswhorificlover @dinonuggets1967 @meganskane @gubeskneescrew @kya-li @reidsbookclub @muffin-cup @sassymoon @shirleyrose

Sugar daddy fic (Some tags didn't work)

@mggs-sidehoe @bakugouswh0r3 @mggskneescrews @moonlight-2-6 @spencerreidscumwhore @my-thoughts-are-weird @violetclifford @youabitchhhh @bunny-script @baby-i-am-fireproof @moondustmemories @rexorangecouny @minervaonmars @onlyhereforthefanfics @anonymous-reading @go2sleepducky @kingcrain @beepbooptoop @givemeth @emma-is-a-nerd@wrecky-becky @eternalspence @ne--yo-pets @valerieweasley @coldlilheart @andiebeaword

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid request #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine #sugar daddy spencer #perv!spencer #mdm

781 notes · View notes