#just every guy I’ve been closer w usually has an issue w how involved my mom tries to be

[dumb-doll-lips]

I don’t know enough people to ask, but if you’re a woman maybe around early to mid 30s, how often do you talk to your mom? Like idk what range of answers even make sense for a survey, surveys feel more fun. I’m sick of feeling like such a bad guy bc i don’t want to talk everyday and would like more space.

#my mom said she was about to drop by my place unannounced bc I didn’t answer her calls until later and I texted her back the day before #but she was worried something happened to me #I just got major guilt tripped about not talking to her much and I’ve been on phone calls w her the past two days #I do also think it’s a bit of a gendered issue when looking at it #that’s why I said women #but maybe I’m wrong #just every guy I’ve been closer w usually has an issue w how involved my mom tries to be #so feels like their experiences have been a lot different than mine #I also made the maube mistake of telling her I’m dating some a little while ago #it’s not something I like want to talk about much w her ever #but she was so busy worrying I’m depressed and not doing anything #but now I get so many questions there #and she’s worrying I think even more #ughhh

[sombrz]

Hello please talk about king explosion murder

THE BOY!!!!!

can you believe i spent months trying to be lowkey about my bakugou ships? it took me a while to even admit he was my favourite despite the fact i knew from the start i’d end up a bakugou stan. i never had a ‘oh no this kid’s a mean terrible person’ phase - it was a ‘oh, i can’t Reveal my character tastes like this. not like this.’ phase.

this got…..long. so uh. under the cut it goes:

ANYWAY: i ship bakugou with…..uh…….a lot of characters. kiribaku is the easiest to explain - dumbass jock boyfriends who do shit like baku using kiri as a hammer to make mochi. and kiri being gung-ho about testing his unbreakable mode (which, btw, was motivated by bakugou’s words!!!) by having bakugou fucking. use howlitzer impact on him. you know how i feel about bro ships (hint: i love them). how kiri went from ‘man this bakugou guy is nuts!!! we have to stop him!!!!’ to ‘wow bakugou is so manly and cool and i wanna be by his side’ in the span of (1) one-on-one convo. HE LIKES BAKUGOU SO MUCH. IT’S CUTE. LIKE, I DON’T THINK BAKUGOU GETS HOW HAPPY HE MAKES KIRISHIMA LMAO. how bakugou so readily accepted kiri as an equal - bakugou, who only had two categories for people [extras vs rivals], never thought to seriously think of kiri as anything but an ally and a friend, people always talk how kirishima was the first classmate bakugou even bothered remembering the name of, and with reason, since it says a lot. kiri’s got quite a bit of mlm subtext going on, tbh, and bakugou’s the source of almost all of it. soooooo there’s that too. 

but i’ve also fallen Deep into bakudeku. it’s the shared development, okay. the history and complex emotions and the slowburn to becoming partners. there’s just so much, and they’re so ENTRENCHED in each other. for better or worse, for how much they might dislike the fact they can’t stop thinking about each other, they just can’t help it. they couldn’t understand each other at all but somehow still knew the other inside and out. and deku’s been so smitten since he was like a baby 3 year old and it breaks my heart. it’s honestly one of my favourite shounen rival ships bc it keeps subverting your expectations. and every episode/chapter that deals with their issues and nudges them closer to the ideal - the endgame - is guranteed to be among the best. they’re the backbone of the series, and i love watching them grow together. the fact that they’re currently HEALTHY RIVALS AND TENTATIVE FRIENDS (like deku feels so comfortable gushing over bakugou to his face again and bakugou is so invested in deku’s improvement & is only snappy w/ him out of reflex lmao)….that bakugou is deku’s secret keeper and deku is the one person bakugou allows himself to be vulnerable around……HOO BOY. i just imagined bakugou holding out his hand for deku to take - or accepting deku’s hand at all - and died.

ALSO, TODOBAKU….my darkhorse ship, which hit me in the face one day when i realized how a) hilarious they are together and b) how the series keeps shoving them together (sometimes literally - thanks slidin’ go for giving them the group hug they deserved). i love how they’re so different yet similar - bakugou is loud and obnoxious while todoroki is stern and quiet, but they’re both rude prodigies who needed to be jumpkicked into realizing that they could become better people with the help of others instead of letting anger and bitterness swallow them up. and the provisional exam course made it so they were forced to hang out with each other 95% of the time for three whole months and i LIVE FOR THAT. i love how funny they are - todoroki is snarky & doesn’t even bat an eyelash over bakugou’s tantrums but genuinely tries to be nice and make friends with him! bakugou is so petty and wants todoroki’s attention soooo bad but don’t think i haven’t noticed that most times we’ve seen him genuinely smile has been in todoroki’s presence (ok, then todoroki reacts to it and bakugou instantly goes back to a snarl but STILL). also the fact that the narrative doesn’t want us to forget that bakugou eavesdropped on todoroki telling deku about his family, and bakugou is always Alert and keeping an eye on todo whenever endeavour is involved bc he’s sympathetic and y’know??? cares????? SO GOOD. AND THEY’RE SUCH A GOOD TEAM - SURPRISINGLY IN SYNC AND THEIR QUIRKS MATCH UP AND I LOVE THEM!

GOD, HORI…..BAKUGOU/URARAKA WOULD BE SO GOOD. like, can you *imagine* the sheer potential of a ship that you only really have them interact during one goddamn tournament fight and yet it becomes arguably the most popular het ship in your series (w/ only the main character and his canon love interest as real competition????) i love them though, like,,,,i find it so interesting that uraraka has shown, despite again - minimal onscreen interaction - that she understands bakugou better than most. she knows how he’d handle their fight and uses that to her advantage. (and while she still lost, she gained his respect and a new drive to get stronger!) she’s the one who brings up how HE’D feel about the plan to go rescue him - that his pride would prevent him from easily accepting help. i’m desperately trying to figure out a way they could animate that omake where uraraka plants herself in deku’s seat and demands that bakugou bury the hatchet with him while gently but firmly calling him out for his root issue of fear and his defense mechanism of violently pushing deku away. and it managed to calm him down and honestly, i wouldn’t be surprised if he ruminated on those words for a while. IT’S SO GOOD, WHY WASN’T IT IN THE STORY ITSELF!!! and like, the mere fact he respects her a lot and ended up *psyched* to continue fighting her - and after he’s told deku had nothing to do with her plan, i don’t think he’d make that mistake again, which makes it easier for him to understand her back. he knows she’s smart and talented and that everyone else was wrong to underestimate her. also, i love that uraraka thinks bakugou is like…..funny? he’s out there threatening to murder kaminari and uraraka’s like ‘hahaha :’’)))’ bc she has such a Bro/vulgar sense of humour. like, i think they’d have a lot of fun together. LET THEM TALK MORE, PLS!!!!

THOSE ARE MY MAIN SHIPS BUT I ALSO SHIP HIM WITH THE REST OF THE BAKUSQUAD! BOTH PLATONICALLY AND ROMANTICALLY! I HAVE NO SHAME! baku/kami is so underrated and great - kaminari is just as much bakugou’s bff as kirishima is, tbh, and he has absolutely No Chill which makes their interactions - especially the further the story goes and bakugou’s edges soften - so much fun. one moment, he’ll be casually commenting that bakugou is the worst and needs to change his whole rotten personality - then the next second, he’ll be sprawled all over him, calling him kacchan and defending his honour from actual haters. and bakugou just fucbdhfhd lets this happen. bakugou likes kaminari enough to just let him. do whatever the hell he wants. ALSO, THE BAND. admittedly, sero is the only one with enough common sense and actual standards to avoid dating bakugou (’HE’LL NEVER BE BEAUTIFUL’ ghdhfhd sero) but i still adore them. sero’s so tricksy and loves playing the reverse psychology trick on bakugou, who just constantly falls for it. i bet he was the first person bakugou let just hang out in his room, and he probably appreciates that sero actually gives him his space when he needs it! i can’t believe baku/sero is the Real ‘bakugou pining’ ship. @ hori: GIVE MINA AND BAKUGOU ACTUAL INTERACTIONS, GDI. i’m forced to headcanon their whole dynamic from near-scratch. whereas kiri and kami are more the type to glue themselves to bakugou’s back, i imagine mina’s the type to actively drag bakugou along places. she probably cried when she found out that a) his parents are rich designers (’BUY ME CLOTHES, BAKUGOUUUU’) and b) his glycerin-based quirk and taking after his mom means he usually has perfect skin and has never broken out in his life. she doesn’t speak to him for a week until he takes her out to dinner and buys her a cute dress. and i’m super fond of baku/jirou. i love that their dynamic is like…..while the rest of their friends are doing dumb shit For The VineTM, they’re on the sidelines waiting for shit to hit the fan. they’re punk buds and prob do that couples clothes switch thing a lot just to see if anyone notices. jirou bosses him around and he takes all her advice seriously and like, they trust each other! they have great team synergy! she was the first person bakugou both consciously protected and asked to protect him in turn!! DID I MENTION THE BAND?? i also ship him with camie! it’s just such a funny concept to imagine - like imagine you’re in class 1A and bakugou shows up out of nowhere with a hot girlfriend who talks. like that. and she makes him laugh??? and no, seriously, does he actually understand what the hell she’s saying???? WHAT’S HAPPENING. but yeah, she very casually teases him but also seemed comfortable w/ him right off the bat and i know in my heart that bakugou relented and let her have his phone number. also, i find it funny people started shipping him with shindou after bakugou was the one to call him out for being duplicitous. bakugou’s the type of character that just needs to interact with another character once and *someone* out there will be like ‘what if………..they were dating’ and that’s so valid of them.

good bakugou ot3/ot4s: kirishima/bakugou/uraraka, todoroki/midoriya/bakugou, todoroki/inasa/camie/bakugou. i reblog a looooot of kirishima/kaminari/bakugou and bakugou/uraraka/midoriya even tho i don’t actually ship either as an ot3 that much, oops? they’re good ships tho.

is there something i’m missing? I MIGHT BE MISSING SOMETHING.

#katsuki bakugou #asfornow #questions #reply #but you were the one in my life #your declaration of war was to the wrong person #if you refuse to go down it means you're stupidly strong #what part of her was frail #bakusquad

[spacephant0m]

cw for personal talk about religion/spirituality and trying to find myself. Srry for typos

I’m in my room on the verge of tears and switching between crying and having a blank stare, watching brendon’s livestream on my ipad while i type this. I’m trying to study witchcraft to some extent as I’ve never really read much of anything about it before. Specifically I was reading about christian witches. Now the thing is like, i grew up as a christian. And nowadays i still believe in God definitely, but i hate christian practices. I remember reading and studying world religions in college last year and absolutely loving it and being so sad because i never experienced such practices in my own faith that actually seemed..... like, fun, and super connective. Me bawling my eyes out at church camp and being “lost” was not exactly what i originally thought it was. I was just mentally ill and didnt know it. Deep down i always knew i had a connection with God that wasnt faltering over silly shit a kid does wrong. Kid sins. Whatever the fuck. As much as i fucken prayed and asked for forgiveness, i was fine. Christianity is always a race to be closer to God and its like.... how close can i get when im doing the same fucking exact practices over and over.... they never really taught us about meditation and becoming one with your surroundings and idk, letting your spirit free. They kind of talked about it sometimes.

But i just hate the entire setup of church. I miss the family aspect so much. Thats all i miss. I miss bible study but really i just miss the points where we talked about life. Thats usually what we did, we would have an entire lesson setup and it would become totally derailed by our conversations. And it was real and i had a sense of community that i cant get anywhere else. I havent been able to find it anywhere else. But i also miss my personal sense of spirituality. I love that word and i love that it has so many encapsulating meanings. I dont wanna be like a white man self acclaimed guru who’s like read this book it’ll help you change your life....... i feel like those guys really appropriate culture and commercialize it. Its kinda gross. I try not to associate myself with that idea but every time i think about meditating more and shit im like “ew im gonna be a gross white guy whos all at peace w himself and lives in the mountains and shit” AND IT MAKES ME MAD. I’m having a beer right now instead of a cup of tea. Probably a mistake. Tea helps me feel better but im filling my body w shit at the moment bc thats what happens when i get this sad.

Anyways i really hate the idea of practicing a religion. I made a post before asking for sort of an advice on this, like was it okay for me to like witchy things and not actually be one. I was told yes its totally okay. And im not disrespectful of anyone and i dont make fun of any religion. I just persoaally cannot see myself involved with having an actual religion. I dont even consider myself christian so how could i ever proclaim myself as a christian witch, idk.

I dont want to label myself at all. Maybe i dont need any of this. Maybe i just need to play dnd and live vicariously thru my character. Use that shit as therapy. I hear it helps a lot with mental health and social skills. That of which i am verily lacking. I’m just hurting and im pissed off. I dont know why exactly. I just want to do meditation and i wanna buy my crystals and start doing yoga again. This year i have been stretching more. Actually i started on the first of feb. i stretch every day and do vocal exercises to help my voice get more control and deepen it a bit (transmasc).

I am also just a bit overwhelmed at everything. I dont know where to start. All i know is i want to burn incense like i used to growing up bc it always made me happy. And that i only believe in like..... cleansing through these elements and a prayer to God. But i’ve always had faith issues because im so insecure, i never think God will actually help me because maybe i dont deserve it or maybe he just doesnt want to.

I’m also scared im gonna do something wrong or fuck something up. That something bad will happen or something because im dumb. I dont know if i could mix my own herbs that feel right to me, or if i should use a recipe. I feel stupid that i dont have as much faith in prayer as i wish i did, but i have faith that little rocks will help to cleanse negative energy and things like that.

I dont know why im crying, i guess because im so insecure? Or maybe life is just rly hard and i’m overthinking everything. I just feel kinda bad. Yet when my friends tell me theyre praying for me, i do have faith in that and it means the world to me.

I know none of this is a big deal to anyone, and maybe none of it should matter. But im like. Idk. Im very interested in plants and medicines of the earth and shit like i always have been ever since i was young i thought of myself as like. Awakened and shit LOL whatever that means @ 10 year old me. I dont want to feel like anything controls me or owns me, i want to feel like i am in control of my own life and that i could harness the energy around me to not only like bring me peace of mind but to help me through my journey of life.

But i guess my biggest issue is i have no fuckin clue where to start. I hate reading and all this research im trying to do to help myself figure out what i enjoy is just. Making me so fucken overwhelmed. I only read like. 1 blog post and 2 articles and im already losing it. I always grew up w the mindset that God will take care of everything but like. He already has. In my mind. Because he’s already given us all the tools we need. But folks just like. Wanna be lazy and wait for things to happen. Sometimes all u can do is wait but when it comes to like, being THE ONES IN CONTROL, “prayers for america” is dumb as fck.

Idk i dont know anything and its okay to not know right now but i want something more in my life but i want it to be like.... totally personal and i dont want it to be absolutely everything my life revolves around. I want it to just be something i do and that i love. I dont need a label for it. But idk. I just dont know what to do.

If anyone has any sort of advice or is dealing with anything like this i’d love to hear about it. My ask and msgs are open as well. I feel pretty alone right now. Im just patiently waiting for my paycheck tomorrow so i can buy these crystals i rly want. But who knows what it will take to satisfy my hungry soul.

Another problem i rly have honestly is just like. Spending a lot of money on a lot of hobbies. I feel shitty for having so many things i enjoy doing. I try to narrow it down. I havent started embroidery bc i dont wanna spend more money and i feel like i’ll never have enough time to practice. Im just. Mediocre at a lot of things instead of rly super good at one thing. I mean i think im pretty great at drawing but thats about it. But ive been doing that for 10 years so ofc im good at it NOW. But ffs. I wanna do so many things and its overwhelming. I work a minimum wage job and its. I dont have enough money for anything lol so most of my stuff is low-budge† which is fine i guess but. Idk. Im tired. Im sad.

I dont know how to be more spiritual i dont know where to start. And my mind is telling me to slap a label on it or its not anything of value. Which is bullshit. But y’know. Anxiety n shit.

#witchcraft #witch #spirituality #religion #christian witch #meditation #blurb #finding myself #spiritual advice #religious advice #tryin not to cry again #removing labels #self help #i guess #personal #dandan speaks #idk what tags to use

[the-fiction-portal]

When You meet the Avengers

Summary: You have been dating Peter for quite some time, not only has he been talking about his internship and Mr. Stark, apparently he’s been talking about you as well. You meet Mr. Stark for the first time, but also your favorite Avenger. Jealous/pouty/ insecure Peter. (Infinity war nowhere near this fic)

Word: little over 2900

Paring: Peter x Fem!Reader

A/N: I discovered I really enjoy reading Peter fanfics because he’s a sweet child and oh god, precious so I figured why not. So this is my first shot at a reader fic, I usually enjoy creating an OC because honestly who doesn’t envision themselves as the OC. But mainly it’s because of the format, writing in second person is quite difficult, so if I slip up and use female pronouns then my bad. Side note: YHT is your hometown, I didn’t want to give away a specific location but I gave the impression that the reader is originally from other places. I liked the aspect of an army kid so maybe I’ll use some material to write a series but my track record is garbage. Please enjoy.

Also this takes place in a world where they didn’t split up from the civil war I just want them all happy. Like it’s enough canon angst/accuracy lets just pretend shit didn’t hit the fan.

—————

You clutch a book to your chest. Completely happy over the best day of your life. Or maybe it was the second best day of your life. Or maybe it was only part 2, the continuation of the best day of your life. In your 17 years of life, with your dad in the force, you’ve seen a lot of places and met a lot of people. But this takes the cake of best thing ever. 

You pull the book from your chest to look a final time. In a protective wrapper was a comic book, not just any comic book but an old slightly worn comic of Captain America that was coveted by your father. It was one of his favorites and you actually got it signed by Captain America himself. You knew your dad would be pleased. You remembered that interaction like it was yesterday, probably because it was indeed only yesterday. 

“Peter are you sure?”

“Yeah, of course! I spend so much time working with Mr. Stark and I might have mentioned you...a few times. And he’s curious about you,” Peter answers, his face tinting a little pink at his confession. 

It was Friday after school and usually, you’d go your separate ways after school. You would help your mom out and he would have the notorious Stark internship to go to. Other than a few ‘perfectly’ timed calls, the internship hasn’t gotten in the way of you two dating. To any girl, the thought of their boyfriend being late for dates, having to leave suddenly, or even waiting hours for a phone call or even a text would be a put-off. However, with your dad being in the military and would leave home for months at a time with communicating few and far in-between, you learned what it means to be a patient partner. 

“Okay, I’ll go. I wouldn’t mind meeting this Tony Stark in person,” you answer, agreeing to go with him to meet his boss. You’ve heard about this billionaire even all the way in (Y/H/T) but any issues from New York seemed so far away from you at the time. Now it couldn’t be any closer, with him being so involved in Peter’s life

“Thank you, (Y/N)! You won’t regret it. It’s really cool, and he’s actually really nice,” Peter answers with a smile so brilliantly cute it caused your heart to pick up. 

You answer with a kiss on the cheek only after glancing to make sure no one was looking. You both weren’t big on PDA, but you’d hold hands every chance you got. 

“W-what was that for?” Peter manages to get out, his face scarlet. 

“Because you cute,” you answer with a grin, poking his cheek and he blossoms into a beautiful smile. 

“But (Y/N), you’re the cute one,” he answers causing your own face to heat up. 

The trip to the Stark tower was long. It was a Friday so what more did you expect? Though the closer they were getting the more anxious you were getting. You knew this meant a lot to Peter, he talked about Tony a lot which was pretty sweet especially when you see the soft blush on his face after a passionate rant about the gear he gets to see. Not to mention the fact that Peter was an obvious Iron man stan. 

Then it hit you, Tony Stark is Iron man, he works, probably lives in Stark tower where the Avengers live. There were quite a few you liked, a particular favorite of yours was there too. Maybe you could see The Captain America. That did it, you were a big mess of nerves by the time you arrived at the tower. 

“Ready?” Peter asks, turning to you while squeezing your hand. 

“As I’ll ever be...you know I kinda wished I had gone home to change first,” you mutter realizing only when you were at the doorstep that you were wearing a basic t-shirt and a pair of comfy jeans. Had you had time to go home you might have tried to find something nicer to put on. 

“You look gorgeous as always, very cute,” Peter answers assuring you and you shrug as if a compliment from the cutest dork of all New York didn’t send butterflies in your stomach. 

“Well, if you say so.” You take a deep breath, gripped Peter’s hand, and followed him inside. 

You were swiftly introduced to a guy named Happy. And before you could ponder on if it’s a nickname or not he leads the both of you to Tony. You spot him just in time for Peter excitedly guide you towards the guy. 

“Mr. Stark! This is who I wanted you to meet. My girlfriend, (Y/N),” Peter said with a bashful smile.

“Oh, you’re (Y/N). The kid’s been telling me a lot about you. Rambling on so it’s amazing he gets anything done,” He grins teasingly as he approached you and extending his hand. “Nice to put a face to the name,” he adds. 

“Nice to meet you in person, Sir,” you answer, shaking his hand and feeling giddy. You’re shaking hands with an actual superhero. 

“Come along, I’m here to give you a personal tour,” he said guiding you away. “So the kid tells me you’re not around here, where you’re from?” He asks after a while. 

“Oh, well I’m from everywhere and nowhere I guess. Dad serves so I was moving around a lot. The last place and probably the place where I stayed the longest is (Y/H/T),” you answer with ease. 

“Well, how you like it here so far?”

“It’s busy...kinda loud. But I’ve always managed to settle in. Peter’s helped a lot actually,” you answered, glancing over at your boyfriend who was smiling happily. He was a friendly face in the crowd on your first day at school. He and Ned helped you with everything and it was easily one of best group of friends you’ve ever had. It didn’t become long before Peter became the best thing to happen to you, you spent many nights studying or going to him when you felt lonely when the friends you had back at (Y/H/T) no longer felt like your friends. 

“So then, you’re a junior like Pete here. Got to start thinking of life after high school soon. What do you want to do?” Asked Tony. 

“I volunteer and help my mom out at the animal shelter. So I want to help them because animals deserve the world, maybe a vet so I can do my best to save the animals I can,” You said pouring out the dream you haven’t even told your mother about yet, though knowing her she might know already. 

At the silence, your face grew hot. “It...I mean it’s no ‘billionaire superhero but who’s rescuing the animals?” You fumbled, feeling embarrassed. 

“Kid,” Tony calls to Peter before gesturing to you. “You see that kid, the look of someone utterly excited and passionate for what they love doing, women look their best when they are like this,” The man adds in an instructing tone. 

Peter nods slowly, “Yeah...I agree,” he gazes at you causing you to look away and around the room not quite feeling like a deserved showpiece. 

“You did good kid,” you hear Tony whisper not too subtly to Peter who suddenly sputters and coughs. You decide to not go to his rescue and allow him to feel as flustered as you are. In person, you realize that Tony isn’t bad for someone who insists on contacting Peter during the worst times. He and Peter seem to get along which meant a lot. Peter may not have told you directly but the fact of the matter is he lives with his aunt with no mention of his uncle or parents which meant Tony could be that mentor father figure for Peter. You brave a glance to see Tony looking amused as he drapes an arm across bashful Peter’s shoulder. 

“And (Y/N), that’s a good dream you got there. Hold on to it,” Tony declares and abruptly continues the tour as if he didn’t show Peter affection or praised you. 

“Thank you, Sir,” you say and that was the end of that part of the conversation. Instead, you listened to Tony Stark, or rather his AI Friday who talked when prompt to give her information about the room, things in the room, or the tower itself. 

“Wow, this place is...wow,” you were so impressed you couldn’t articulate actual words. 

“Isn’t it cool?” Peter tells you with a proud smile and you nod. 

“Just wow, to think the other Avengers live here too,” you said looking to Tony. “Is it possible to meet them? Um...if they’re not busy of course,” you asked. You really wanted to meet them you had a list of favorites you wouldn’t mind to meet. 

“Can she, Mr. Stark?” Peter jumps in for you taking Tony’s brief bit of silence for rejection. You appreciated the gesture considering he talked to you because you had the avenger keychains or buttons on your backpack at school. 

“Oh trust me, the gang is pretty curious about your girlfriend kid,” Tony’s smirk was back and you mentally sigh in relief. But then you realized something. 

“Pete you never told me you get to see the Avengers!” You exclaimed in suspense watching peter standing sheepishly at you. 

“Well-“

“He is keeping it a secret, as you should too young lady or the deal is off,” Tony cuts in and gives you a warning. 

“Okay, not a word,” you promised. After all, it made sense, if Peter told everyone that at his Stark internship he gets to meet the avengers people would be lining up to see them for the wrong reasons. Not to mention the tower is their home, they’d want privacy and downtime. 

Tony asks Friday to alert the others and before your eyes members of the Avengers had indeed assembled. You were stunned, not only did you meet Black Widow who kicked so much ass. But you got to see Falcon, Bucky and Captain America. Captain Freaking America was in front of you. 

“C-Captain America...” you gasp and look over to Peter who had a grin on his face. Unfazed because he’s seen them all the time. “Pete...that’s...wow” it was all you could say watching as Black Widow nudges the buff blonde with a grin. 

“Looks like you have a fan, Cap,” Falcon says. 

“I’m a huge fan. I mean, my dad and I are. He has a few editions of the comics and...” you suck in a breath because you were spilling everything out in one breath. “You were like the reason he had joined the army,” You were so excited you were practically shaking. 

“Can I shake your hand, Captain? Sir?” You found yourself asking before you can stop yourself. 

“Of course, and Steve is fine. Or Captain if it makes you feel better,” Steve answers, for that you were thankful, you couldn’t imagine addressing Captain America so informally for even a moment.

You hold back a squeal as you shake hands. “I wish I had something for you to sign right now,” you shyly said. You weren’t expecting to meet your favorite hero today. 

You were so delighted when Captain America agreed to sign the beloved copy of the Captain America comic for your dad. You learned everyone was so nice and more or less familiar with Peter so they were all happy he found a nice girl. Which left you and Peter a smiling duo. You were glad that Peter had adults around him that care, and know he’s in good hands when he runs off to the Stark internship. After goodbyes and promises to get autographs, you leave the Stark tower with Peter.

“(Y/N).”

You turn as you felt a weight on your right side. Peter was draped next to you, his curly mop of hair on your shoulder as you both were sitting on your couch. Your mother was still working at the moment meaning it was just the two of you. 

“Yes, Pete?” You ask him as you’re snapped out of your daydream of yesterday’s events.

“You gonna stare at the comic all day?” He asks with a hint of a whine, something he only does when you’re too focused on something while he also wants your attention. You look directly in his face to see him glance away. 

“Are you...pouting?” You couldn’t help but ask poking at his cheek that looks like it’s sticking out when he holds his mouth like that. 

“No, I’m not. I just want to do something else other than stare at you staring at an autograph,” Peter replies with a frown. 

“Oh,” you quirk your brow, picking up the carefully wrapped book. “That’s funny, because I don’t pout when you spend hours with Ned build a spaceship puzzle thing. Especially because I don’t exactly care about Star Wars and it’s not exactly fun watching only you having fun. But I watch anyway because I can see you enjoy it and while I’ll never understand that type of nerd I like you’re having fun,” you declare with a frown of your own. 

You are a patient person and never get too mad at him for running off all the time. There was a period where you felt insecure and after he assured you that there’s no other girl you were fine. “However, you know what Captain means to me and my dad and why I’m such a fan...” you sigh softly your stomach tightening in anxiety. You didn’t like confrontation one bit but this means a lot to you, it’s how you feel close to your dad when he’s far away. So for Captain, you’d stomach the anxiety long enough to bring up a point.

Peter’s eyes widen before reaching out to grab your hand. “(Y/N), I’m so sorry. I know I get away with a lot, with how many times I canceled dates or forgotten to go to a meetup spot you should have ditched me long ago...” he said urgently gripping your hands in hopes of you seeing how sorry he was. 

“But I guess that’s the thing, I’m not that cool. Nothing like the Avengers. I…I mean I don’t look nothing like them, tall and cool with muscles…at school I’m just…just Penis Parker,” Peter looks down with a frown adorning his face, his hands that were holding yours were limp as if waiting for you to yank them away.

“Pete…” you call out to him trying to make eye contact but he doesn’t even look at you. It has to be serious, this must have been on his mind the whole time. “Peter, absolutely screw Flash and all those other idiots at school,” you declare, gripping his limp hands firmly, you weren’t going anywhere.

“If I wanted some big buff guy I’d go with a jock, and no one likes those kinds of guys. They get knocked around all the time they practically have no brain anyway,” you state matter of factly. While your school had a technology focus they still had room for some other extra circular activities, every school has those jocks. “I’m into cute nerds who light up like a star when they talk about their nerd stuff, and guys who are so smart they get to work with one of the richest people in the world.”

At this Peter looks up shyly to make eye contact, a blush gracing his cheeks and you knew you were getting to him. You smile and grip his hand gently, he grips it back softly, the tightness was easing in your stomach.

“And, while Captain holds a spot in my heart because of my dad…let’s be honest. We have a Local Superhero, who’s looking after us all the time. That’s like amazing. While Captain and the others are overseas kicking butt, Spiderman is looking after the average everyday people who get robbed or mugged…that’s actually pretty amazing…” you said causing him to grin widely. That was his second favorite hero since he talks about him pretty often if the hero is on the news, always asking what you thought about him.

“Yeah…yeah that’s true…” Peter sits up a little taller and he sighs, the insecurity was wiped from his face. “Y/N, you’re absolute right…I’m…sorry for getting all weird about all this…I didn’t mean to make you upset in any way. That’s actually cool, when I saw Iron Man for the first time, I was so excited, it was all I could talk about,” he tells you, apologizing to you again. “Can…you forgive me?”

You answer with a kiss, pulling away to see him surprised and cutely blushing. You both have been started kissing, but the bout of butterflies hasn’t gotten old. “That answer your question?” you reply with your own question.

“Um…maybe…can you tell me again? I don’t think I heard you the first time,” Peter said looking down at your lips causing you to giggle.

“Dork,” you tease, leaning in to kiss him again.

Before the second kiss could turn into a make-out session you hear keys turning to the front door. Your mom walks in in time for you to break apart, you wished you were in your room, but the deal to have Peter over would be the living room at all times. After greetings and promises of ordering pizza you turn to Peter.

“So, tell me how you met Iron man,” You say, recalling that he mentioned he met his hero for the first time.

“Well, you see…” Peter preps himself to tell the story and with him smiling and back to normal, you knew this really is going to be a good day.

#peter parker x reader #peter parker #insecure child #bless #avenger x reader #avenger fanfic #I’ve been silent for ages have a fic

[daughterofanarchangel]

The thoughts of a sixteen year old part one - FRIENDS

On this blog there is AJ Winchester, a fictional character created as an OC in the Supernatural universe, and there is the mod/owner of the blog aka me. And I believe that I haven’t posted on this blog since before the season 12 premiere which makes it ideal for me to just say stuff that I need to say and work out without certian people seeing it before it’s time. So let’s get started.

The first issue is friends. And before I start I want to make it clear that I love my friends and they are some of the greatest most awesomeness people I know. But as everyone should know, everyone has problems and my friends are no expection. And neither am I. I should probably start with myself.

As a young kid I had two really close friends. They are Lara and Sarah M. I use their names because as far as I know they don’t have tumblr and will probably never see this post because of reasons that I will explain later. Lara, Sarah M and I saw each other on a regular basis; we all went to the same church. We’re all the same age with me being the oldest. At our church at the time of my early childhood we were literally the only ones our age; both Lara and Sarah M had older brothers and Sarah M and I both had younger brothers. I guess it was out of nesscessity that we all became friends. And we were really close. I mean for our fifth birthdays we got matching kiddie purses (although mine and Sarah M’s were “from Lara” and Lara’s was from her parents) how much closer could we get? I will admit looking back that I was probably closer to lara than I was Sarah M. Anyway during the summer when I was seven, Lara’s family moved away. I had gone on holiday for Christmas thinking I’d be able to see Lara one last time when I got back. When I got back she had already gone. We never really said a propper goodbye. My friendship with Sarah M soon became nothing. I still see her regularly - it’s hard not to when you both still go to the same church every week and go to the same high school. Lara and I have seen each other since she moved with the latest actually being just under a year ago. Our dads are friends on facebook so I occasionally hear how she’s doing with her rowing. But that was my first real lost with friendship.

In my first two and a half years of primary school (half a year of Year 0, with the other two years being Years 1 and 2) I don’t recall having any real close friends that I kept for long. Our short friendships lastest a few months and strangely enough the two friendships I can remember I now know their grandmothers and one old friend’s grandfather because I play the same sport as them. Towards the end of Year 2 I made a few friendships with people who would later become my friends for the rest of my time at primary.

These were Gemma and Sarah W. Again I was the oldest. At least I was until we became good friends with Jess who was three weeks older than me the year later. Jess and I being in the same class for Year 3 while Sarah W and Gemma were in the same class. We had other people come and go from the group but we were good friends. In Year 4 I was the only one who wasn’t in the same class as everyone else. Year 5 was another repeat. These two years I was alone in class but I knew I had friends who liked me and we remained friends. Year 6 being our final year at Primary, I was finally in a class with all my friends bar one. Our friendship was strong enough that we remained friends despite rarely being in the same class. But it wasn’t perfect. Looking back, Sarah W was abusive. She would often hit us and once she threw an apple at another friend’s head that made the apple split into pieces. I think younger me knew what Sarah W was doing was not right because I remember that she gave me a chinese burn so hard that I yelled at her with tears in my eyes that I no longer wanted to be friends with her because she hurt me for the last time. I didn’t speak to her for a few days but I ended up becoming friends with her again. I don’t remember exactly when this happened, because I try to block as much memories of primary as I can and I also have little memory of this time anyway, but I do remember that one day Sarah W and Gemma told me something that I still find to sting a little today. Let’s get something staright - I’ve never been popular and that hasn’t really bothered me. But it did when Sarah W and Gemma told me that they gave up their popularity to be friends with me back in Year 2. Their comment made me realise how unimportant I was to them as well as how unpopular I knew I was.

I didn’t stay friends with that group. The next two years were Intermediate and they were great compared to Primary. In Year 7 I made a great guy friend who really boasted my confidence. He was also my first lgbt friend. Back then I didn’t even know what lgbt was (i grew up in religious home and my parents never told me about gay people. They also never gave me the birds and the bees talk. Yep that’s right, I had shitty ‘health’ lessions, which literally had one lesson on the sex part of sex ed and all the other lessons about emotions and stuff which is important and all, teach me the birds and the bees in Year 7 at age 12 and even then it wasn’t until Year 9 that I really learnt anything sex ed). And while we remained friends in Year 8, I became better friends with a girl in my class in the year below me whom I still friends with today. I will mention her as Demon in future.

Year 9 was my first year of High School. For the first two terms I was almost basically a loner - I had a guy friend in the year above who sat with me and we watched the first season of Geronimo Stilton on his ipad. Then I become friends with Squirrel. Squirrel and I bonded over our mutal love for Supernatural and Teen Wolf. In Year 10, Demon joined me and Squirrel as friends, with Angel literally joining the group the next day.

We’re all still good friends today. We added Squish and Small to the group last year in Year 11. Then there’s Home. Home is a friend of mine who I’ve been friends with since I was 10. They’re home schooled but know Squirrel, Demon, Angel and Squish because of me. So what I started out with one friend became five, six when you include Home. But I don’t feel like its going to keep like this for 2018.

Angel had a fucked up childhood. Its left her with scars and believe me when I say that it’s still messing with her now three years after she left that toxic environment. As much as I care about them and love them, sometimes they bring me down. They were one third of what I like to call my emotional overload around the time of my practice exams. It’s not their fault that I feel the way I did - it’s mine because I don’t have a good handle on what I’m feeling.

Squrriel has recently opened up about her problems that I should have noticed or at least picked up on a little. They’ve decided to not sit with us this year as they are taking care of themselves because we weren’t there like they were for us. I dont blame them for that decision - we created a toxic environment and to be honest, especially towards the end of Year 11, I always felt that this was going to happen anyway since it seemed back then that they were always sitting with their other group of friends and to be fair that group of friends is a lot more mature (it seems) and less toxic than our group of friends.

Demon. There’s a reason I gave them that name. Demon is a little piece of shit. In light of Squirrel’s confession, they made their own. They admitted that they were a piece of shit, walking the fine line between joke and insult. Having been frends with them for almost four years now, I’ve learnt to take all the insults they give as jokes. At the end of last year I wrote her a four page essay letter about my feelings about some stuff that I needed to say to someone but I couldn’t go to my usual person because they’d asked not to get involved. That was the first time I ever really had a deep and meaningful thing with them.

Then there’s Home. Out of all my friends I’ve known her the longest. But last year in particular I started feeling like we weren’t going to be friends for much longer. There were some things said, written and unsaid (thankfully) between us that really got to me. Although now I feel we’ll continue being friends for a long time, I still have a small scab from that time thatI occasionally pick at.

I don’t have any problems with Squish and Small because we haven’t been friends for all that long.

I’m also a problem. I’m most definitely an introvert - always have been. During breaktimes I generally have something to do like read or scroll tumblr while only listening into my friend’s conversations, and saying a few words here and there. In the group chats or in one-on-one chats I am mostly silent and if I do take part in a conversation I usually end up ignoring notifications because I don’t want to talk.

Some day I hope that I can work out what to do because I don’t want to be truly alone. I’m scared of losing the group of friends that are so important to me and are probably the best group of friends I’ve had to date. I don’t want to lose them but sometimes I wonder why I’m even friends with them

[justforthisicon]

AN: Secret Santa fic for Persephie! I’ve been wanting to write a story for this underrated pair for years, and I’m glad I finally can. All the characters are in their correct grades, except for Gil, who had to be aged down a year to join them, being a college student and all pfft. Happy Holidays!

-

What Are Friends For

-

Maggie notices Odin and Ava standing across the hall. She skips over to them, grabbing each of their arms, chirping, “Ready to go?”

Ava nods, smiling, “Hey, Maggie!” “You s-seem happy a-about something,” Odin says, beginning to walk.

“It’s a Friday night, you think I’m not excited?” Maggie tells him. “I’ve been so bored the whole week, we need to get out and do something. Actually get out there!”

“So, the mall?” Ava asks.

Maggie pulls Ava close, pressing her cheek to hers, “You know me so well.”

Ava’s face tints a slight pink, “Heh, sure.”

Odin unlocks his vehicle within a few feet, Ava taking the passenger seat and Maggie in the back. Yawning, Odin gives his head a quick shake before starting the car.

“You tired?” Ava asks.

“S-Stayed up late. My b-brother had people over and, apparently, n-no one understands the c-concept of sleep. Had to c-clean the fucking kitchen this m-morning.”

Maggie leans forward, “I keep telling you, I can go in, seduce him, and then wha-bam—” Maggie slams her fist into her palm. “He’ll fall so in love with me, he wouldn’t be able to do anything to bug you.”

“You know Olai doesn’t w-work like that. And dammit, put y-your seatbelt on Mags,” Odin chastises. Once she buckles up, he asks, “What about Gil anyway?”

Maggie’s expression shifts to dreamy, sighing, “Ah, Gil… I’ve been thinking about asking him out.”

“H-Have you?” he asks, aware of Ava’s sudden tension.

“Yep, I thought about asking him to go to the movies or something. Just a casual date.”

Odin wonders if it will ever click into her head that Gil is gay. It’s something he’s wanted to bring up, on numerous occasions, that Gil has, and never will, have an interest in girls. It’s so apparent to every single person on the blasted earth, except one Maggie Lacivi. She either has a strong sense of denial or she simply has never considered that possibility. He knows Ava has wanted to bring it up as well, but the two of them know that trying to convince Maggie of anything, especially before she’s ready to learn, will make her more resistant.

She has to learn the hard way.

Arriving at the mall, Odin finds a parking space not too far from the entrance. The trio head inside the cool building, that odd smell of perfume, purses, and clothes never worn, in the air. It permeates the entirety of the vicinity, extending from store to store to store. Odin’s never quite understood how malls can have such a distinct flavor, but it does. Maybe it has to do with marketing. Like with food. Where retailers have smells going around to bring customers in, and then wha-bam, you’re spending two hundred dollars on a random item you don’t want. He should look that up.

“Hey, Odin?”

He breaks from his trail of thought, turning to Ava, “W-What’s up, babe?”

Ava blanks for a moment. She feels her face grow warm, and she tries to not think of how easy he said that. Nonchalantly, she holds up a blouse, “Do you think this looks good?”

Odin’s brows furrow, “I g-guess.”

“What’s wrong with it?” she asks, suddenly self-conscious.

He puts up his hands, waving them, “N-Nothing, I t-think red is m-more your color.”

Ava sifts through the blouses, finding a similar cut at the top, though with a bit more frill around the sleeves and hem, colored in a deep red. She holds it up to her chest.

“M-Much better,” Odin says, approving.

“Yeah, you don’t think it’s too much?” Ava asks.

“N-No, you should get it.”

Maggie suddenly appears, grabbing Odin and Ava’s hands, “Hey hey hey, guys, can you tell me whether this outfit I found is cute enough?”

She pulls them forward, Ava clinging the blouse to her. Maggie releases them, and Odin catches Ava by the shoulder to keep her from tripping. Maggie whips out a flowing dress: the straps are razor thin, held up by a prayer, with a gradient of dark blue at the bust, to a light sky color at the hem. Maggie presses it to her frame, waiting for appraisal.

Ava says she likes it at the same time Odin says he doesn’t.

Maggie frowns. She holds it up, “If you two don’t agree, it must not be that good.”

Ava looks at Odin, “How come you’re not into this one?”

“Mags, c-come on, you can get a better d-dress than that.”

Maggie hangs it back, “Then what would you suggest?”

“N-Not that.”

Groaning, Maggie folds her arms.

“It’s a giant s-shopping center, you’ll f-find something more suit-t-ted for you.”

Resigned, Maggie heads off in a different direction. Not finding much else, they decide to leave, after Ava made her purchase of the red blouse.

They decide to go into another department, the clothes appearing a little more high-end. Maggie insisted, as there’s a sale. Ava and Maggie inspect the pants, trying to decide whether this cut was better than this. Odin hangs out in the front, judging their lack of decent jackets. Disappointed, they exit and walk on until they come to a lingerie store.

“Hey, Odin, your favorite place,” Maggie teases.

“Only i-if you and Ava model f-f-for me,” Odin answers.

Ava and Maggie laugh, all three grinning as they head inside.

Maggie immediately zeroes in on a bright blue bra, lace covering the front and leaving nothing to the imagination. She finds a matching set of underwear and goes to get fitted. Ava is asked by staff if she’d like to try on anything, to her much flustered apologies.

“Must be fun to go shopping with your girlfriend, huh?” asks an employee.

Before Odin can answer, Ava shakes her head, “Oh, he’s not my boyfriend!”

The employee blinks, trying not to be confused; smiling, they ask, what they hope is not a terrible question, “Oh… a relative, then...?”

“He’s just my friend.”

The employee watches Odin enter the seventh circle of hell. Yikes.

Maggie comes out, pleased, and makes her purchase of the bra, panties and a bottle of lotion with a sweet, floral scent.

Continuing on, Ava pauses. She asks, “Hey, Odin, don’t you need to buy anything?”

Odin mulls the questions. “I don’t know, s-socks?”

Maggie shoves him lightly, “Dude, that’s not a fun purchase.”

“I do n-need socks, though.”

Groaning, Maggie grabs his arm, “Odin, that’s not a cool, fun gift for a suave, debonair gentleman like yourself—”

“—I know y-you’re mocking me—”

“As your friends, we can’t stand by this. You are going to buy yourself something nice.”

Sighing, Odin allows Maggie to drag him off. Ava watches them go, moving at a slower pace. She had never expected Odin and Maggie to become so… close. Odin was the reason she and Maggie even started being friends again. After their falling out several years ago, it had been a difficult thing to imagine Maggie opening herself back up. She hadn’t blamed her for not wanting to be her friend anymore.

Then Odin came and somehow… fixed it. It was slow, incremental.

He knew Maggie from their shared group, and he knew Ava from a class involving all grades. One day, he had invited Ava to join them at the table and upon arriving, the atmosphere shifted. Neither girl had known Odin was friends with the other. Needless to say, that was the coldest, awkward lunch she’d had in a while.

After that, from her perspective, she’d explained to Odin that Maggie and she used to be close. He hadn’t prodded, and she’d been grateful for his respect for privacy. But he continued to express desire to hang out with both of them, even it wasn’t together.

Ava was aware that her being involved in Odin’s life nearly caused his relationship with Maggie to become unstable. Maggie went a whole month without talking to him, where before they would hang out whenever they could.

“I’m sorry about this,” she said.

“Sorry f-for what?”

“For making this about me, like usual…”

Odin looked at her through a screen of smoke, sighing, “If Maggie d-doesn’t like me hanging out with you, that’s h-her issue.”

“I’d ruined my friendship with her… I don’t know if I’m okay with me destroying this too.”

“Maggie is ve-very important to me, but you’re important to m-me too,” Odin explained. He got closer then, their arms brushing each other’s, and she felt her heart race.

She gave him a smile, shrugging, “That’s sweet of you… but you haven’t known me as long. It feels unfair to Maggie, and…” Ava clenched her hands into fists, the knuckles white, “I’m not sure how I feel about this.”

“Ava, I’m telling y-you here and now: Maggie c-can make her own decisions. If she d-doesn’t like the idea of you and I h-hanging out, that’s her problem.”

“You don’t mean that,” Ava insisted.

“I do m-mean that. Maggie’s my b-best friend. But if she’s g-going to be possessive of m-me, I’m n-not good at bei-i-ing friends with someone like that. Friendships r-run their courses too, like anything e-else, and if that’s how it g-goes, you can o-only accept someone’s c-choice.”

Ava’s brows furrowed, trying not to cry. She was ruining everything. Everything always gets ruined because of her. She never did the right thing. She always hurt people. She always caught people up her mess. She could never do the right, smart thing.

“Do y-you want me to s-stop being a-around you?”

Odin tilted his head, and their gazes locked. His expression had been so sincere. Whatever she said, he would do. He’s so much nobler than people expected him to be. Something about that look made her rethink what she said. That this was different. That this was a change for the better this time. And it was selfish, but…

“No, I don’t want to stop being friends.”

Ava’s always known she can be.

“Ava,” Maggie calls, waving her over into a store. “Come on, we gotta find a leather jacket for our boy!”

She closes the distance in small skips, content.

-

Odin shoves his hands into his newly purchased leather jacket. His sisters tried to hide it this morning, but he knew what to expect. He’d been called by Maggie to tell him she’s coming by to pick him up for school, so he got up and dressed. They alternate who drives when and Mondays are her turn.

“Lookin’ good,” Maggie says at the door, patting his back. She wipes away any imagined dust from his shoulders. “Aren’t you glad we made you get it?”

“N-No one makes me d-do anyt-t-thing.”

She raises a brow.

“But yes, I’m g-glad you encouraged m-me.”

“All the way to the register, I might add.”

Rolling his eyes, he wraps his arm around her, giving her a firm side-hug. Maggie leans into it, grinning at this display of affection from him. Walking to her vehicle, Odin slides into the passenger’s seat, pushing back the seat to make room for his legs. Maggie flips through the radio and lands on a pop music station.

He asks, “When are you go-going to ask Gil o-out?”

“I’ll be asking him out today, I have the whole thing planned out. I was going to ask him on Sunday, because I know which church he goes to, but I decided to opt out on that.”

Odin gives a simple nod.

Maggie glances at him, “I know you don’t like him.”

“W-What ever gave you t-that idea?”

“Glad you’re not trying to lie to me. But I don’t understand why you don’t like him.”

Odin sighs, rubbing his temples, “Mags, he’s just… he’s a p-prick.”

Affronted, Maggie frowns. She says, “Odin, I know he can be exasperating, and he’s a little crazy with all that religious stuff, but he’s not a prick.”

“He’s a c-complete fucking id-d-diot, and he acts l-like he’s so much better than the r-r-rest of us.”

“So do you.”

“Maggie, I’m n-not like him and you know that. D-Don’t insult me. He a-acts the way he d-does because he thinks it’ll get him b-b-bonus points with whoever i-is up there,” Odin exclaims, pointing at the roof of the car. “But he’s g-genuine asshole, I know you c-can do better than that.”

Maggie narrows her eyes, hands clenching the wheel, “You don’t know him. He’s always kind to me.”

“Because h-he thinks it’s how he should act. That d-doesn’t mean anything. You don’t act-t-t-tually know h-him either.”

Glaring at Odin, Maggie waves him off, “Look, I don’t want to get into an argument before school. Are you going to keep this up?”

Odin drops it, despite his reluctance.

They arrive at Ava’s place, and she comes out wearing her new blouse. Ava gets in the backseat, smiling, “Hi, guys!”

“Super cute, Ava!” Maggie says, looking at her in the rearview mirror.

“You l-look great,” Odin tells her, smiling.

Ava blushes from the compliments, hands on her cheeks.

The rest of the morning builds up in anticipation of Maggie’s plan. She normally doesn’t have problems asking boys out, but this upcoming one is making her palms sweaty, and her palpitations are a little quicker.

She walks around the courtyard and notices Gil in his preferred spot: a table nestled under a tree, his lunch to the side as he reads his book. Maggie takes a deep breath. Careful not to scare him, Maggie makes sure that she’s in a good line of his periphery to notice her. She stands there, waiting to be acknowledged.

Gil’s eyes remain fixated on the book. Maggie clears her throat.

He jerks his head up, surprised. He gives a smile, “Hello, Maggie.”

“Hey, Gil,” she says, waving her hand at him.

“Did you need to ask me a question about homework?”

“No, I wanted to ask you something else.”

Gil waits on her, book held open in front of him.

“Gil, I…” Maggie swallows, nervous. Butterflies in her stomach. She clasps her hands behind her back. “I think you’re a really great person… You’re always nice and considerate, and I feel you really listen to me. I know that you’ll be graduating soon, but I thought that, maybe, you and I can… go out? On a date?”

Gil’s brows furrow, confused.

“I know this may seem sudden, but I’ve liked you for a long time. And I wanted to ask you out before that. Will you… go out with me?”

“Thank you, Maggie, that’s sweet of you to say—”

She doesn’t like that tone.

“Gil, I know this might be weird for you. But I just want to know… if you’d like to.”

“Maggie… I appreciate your feelings but… I don’t feel the same way.”

She feels her thoughts slow.

Gil rises from his seat, “I’m sorry, Maggie, but I don’t have an interest in you like that.”

Maggie bolts after him, stopping in front of him, “No, wait! Gil, I swear if you just give me a chance, I think we can be really work.”

“Maggie—”

“No, please,” Maggie says, frantic. This wasn’t how she thought it would play out in her head. He’s supposed to sweep her into his arms, and tell her that he’d love to go out with her. And even without that romantic fantasy, she’d been hoping maybe, maybe, that they can try. He can accept her and she can try to get him to love her.

She reaches out for him, feeling the butterflies drift up into her throat, choking, “I know we don’t hang out all the time, but I think if we got to know each other better, you can… like me.”

Gil pulls back, “No. I’m sorry this isn’t the answer you want, but I don’t want to go out with you.”

“But… can I know why?” she asks, voice thin.

Gil looks at her. Looks at her without seeing her. Distant. Trying to ignore her.

“You’ll never be someone I want.”

Maggie’s chest rises and falls quickly, watching him leave.

-

Odin searches for Maggie, feeling a mild panic bloom in his chest.

Ava came to him asking if he’d seen her, since she went to where the car was this morning and didn’t find it. Odin called her numerous times after the final bell, only to get the same voicemail.

Ava jogs up to him, looking more worried by the minute, “Did you get through?”

“N-N-No, she’s s-s-still not ans-s-swering me,” he replies, trying to remain calm.

Rubbing her hands together, Ava glances around. Helpless. She gives a slight jump when Odin puts a hand on her shoulder.

“We’ll f-find her. I’m s-sure she’s okay,” he assures her.

“Something must’ve happened between her and Gil…” Ava says.

Frowning, Odin wonders. She’d been so excited to do it beforehand, he knows it has something to do with this. It’d be one thing if it went well. If it did, he can imagine her leaving in a tizzy because she got so engrossed with joy that she’d leave them. And that’d be fine. The problem is that if it was a good encounter, even with her leaving, she would’ve answered one of their messages and apologized but, “you know me, I gotta plan a week ahead for this!” and all that.

This isn’t like her. She should be bragging about this.

Odin feels a hand on his arm. He looks down at Ava, her expression concerned.

“Hey, I know you’re worried too.”

He lets out a rush of air.

“It’s okay to admit that.”

“I k-know it is… I just d-don’t like to.”

Ava pats his arm, giving him a smile.

He can’t help but return it with his own.

Then he remembers something.

“Hey, w-why did you tense in the car on Frid-d-day?”

Ava blinks, “What?”

“When Maggie m-mentioned Gil… why did you te-tense up about him?”

Her expression changes, reserved. Her hand tightens around his forearm.

Odin leans down a little, closer to eye level. His heart quickens as he asks, “Is it be-because you s-still have feelings f-for Maggie?”

Ava whirls to look at him, shocked. She shakes her head, “No, that’s not it.”

Odin’s brain falters for a moment.

“But I… I t-thought that…”

“I liked Maggie a long time ago, but I made peace with that. She’s never going to want me back, and I only want to be her friend,” Ava explains.

Odin, in the midst of whooping with glee, dropping dead from relief, and the growing anxiety of Maggie’s whereabouts, delivers a single, brilliant, “What.”

“I haven’t liked her that way for a long time. She’s always going to be important to me is all. I want to have her in my life, even if it’s not what I thought it’d be as kids.”

Odin squeezes her shoulder, understanding how it feels to not know where one stands.

“The reason I tensed is because… yeah, I don’t like Gil much either.”

“H-How’s that?”

Ava’s expression contorts, a grimace of contempt twisting her features. He never thought she could look so… fearsome.

“A couple weeks ago, I’d been in the hall. I was walking past Gil, and he’d been hanging around with those other people. I don’t remember two of their names, but I know Prudith. She normally picks on me,” Ava informs him. She feels Odin’s hand shift onto her back, comforting, “When they saw me, they all looked at me like I shouldn’t be around. Prudith whispered something to Gil that I couldn’t hear. Next thing I know… my books are smacked out of my hands and on the floor…”

Ava’s eyes well with tears, sniffling.

“Ava…”

“I never had problems with Gil before.”

No doubt hanging around with the wrong crowd, Odin surmises. It doesn’t excuse his behavior, but he’s normally so anti-confrontational that the fact he went out of his way to bully Ava is something else.

“...Then he told me that’s what I deserve.”

“He s-said what?” demands Odin, voice sharp.

“I don’t know why he said that, or what I’ve done but…” Ava says. She looks at Odin then, eyes watery, but burning. “Whatever he said to Maggie probably wasn’t good either.”

Odin draws Ava close to him. She gasps when he pulls her up to his form, one hand cradling the back of her head.

“I d-don’t know if this is something you w-want,” Odin whispers, face burning. “But I w-want you to know I’m h-here for you. Whenever y-you need it.”

Ava nods, comforted. She allows herself to be held for a moment, then she withdraws.

Odin wipes a tear from her face, “C-Come on, let’s go find Maggie.”

-

It feels awful.

This aching pain ripping into her chest.

She wants it to stop, but it gets worse the harder she cries.

Every part of her is shaking. The tears keep flowing—dark streaks on her cheeks, nose is becoming plugged, throat is tight.

She’s so stupid. She’s stupid. She’s stupid, she’s stupid, she’s stupid stupid stupid stupid—

Sobbing, Maggie blindly reaches for the glove compartment. Feeling for the tissues, she blows her nose. How could she have been such an idiot? Maybe she should’ve tried harder to get him to agree, but he seemed so adamant about saying no.

His stare had been so cold.

She didn’t think her Prince Charming could be this way.

Sniffling, she dabs at her eyes. Releasing a shaky sigh, Maggie tilts back her head.

She wasn’t sure why this one hurt so bad. She’d been told no before.

But Gil was supposed to be different. He felt so safe, and she gravitated to that. He was always sweet, it never dawned on her that he would…

Maggie’s eyes burn, the tears coming out again.

She’s been such a fool…

The phone vibrates beside her. Glancing at it, she bites her lower lip. She drove off to the park without telling them… she’s not sure if she wants to deal with Odin telling her that he knew all along.

The phone stops vibrating. It starts up again, this time Ava.

She lets it ring, looking at her shoes. Was this how Ava felt? When she’d turned her down all those years ago?

What a horrible feeling. To feel like you didn’t matter. And the chance to gain importance doesn’t exist.

-

Odin moves in the direction of the park. Carrying Ava on his back, he asks, “You c-comfortable?”

“Yeah,” Ava says. “I’m sorry you have to do this.”

“D-Don’t worry about it. Those s-shoes you have a-aren’t exactly built f-f-for walking.”

Sighing, Ava wraps her arms around him a bit tighter. Resting her head on his shoulder, she realizes how good he smells. His neck is so close, it takes a surprising amount of effort to not bend an inch and trail kisses up that exposed skin.

She hadn’t been sure how to react at the store—all she knew was she didn’t want to embarrass him. Someone thinking they’re together might not appeal to him. She knows he likes her, but if wasn’t in the way she wanted it to be. She’s not sure if she could take that. Not again.

What he said earlier about Maggie had got her thinking. She used to like Maggie, and a part of her will always treasure Maggie as her first crush. First love, even. Maggie is one of the most important people in her life. That won’t ever change.

In the absence of her, Odin made his way through. Found her groping in the dark, and they were both lost, but they had each other. He has become so important.

Possibly above everyone else.

Ava tilts her head onto his, closing her eyes. She hopes Maggie’s okay.

She wouldn’t do anything to hurt her, not like before. It’s why she can’t let Odin know how she feels. If he did… their relationships will change. Maggie might feel like she’s losing friends once more.

Odin stops, and she looks up. Sliding off his back, the two of them rush over to Maggie’s car.

Ava knocks on the window, startling Maggie. She drops her shoulders when she sees it’s them. She opens the door, feeling tired.

“Hey…” she murmurs.

“We’ve been worried!” Ava exclaims, hugging her.

“I’m fine, Ava,” Maggie tells her.

Odin stands in front of her, relief sinking into his gut. Shaking his head, he sticks his hands into his pockets, “Y-You’re such a pain in the a-ass.”

“Odin!” chastises Ava.

Maggie glares at him, “I didn’t feel like having you tell me that you told me so.”

“Mags, that’s n-not it,” Odin says. “You left us w-w-worried sick about where y-you’d gone, and w-what happened. The l-least you could’ve d-done was answer your phone.”

Maggie sighs. Tears flow again, “I’m sorry… I didn’t want you to see me like this…”

Odin squeezes beside her, all three of them standing against the car. Odin wraps an arm around her shoulder, “Maggie, y-you can talk to us. You d-don’t need to shut y-yourself out.”

Fast, she brushes her eyes. She groans when she keeps crying.

Odin pulls her into a hug. Maggie sobs into his chest. Ava hugs her from behind, and she feels their bodies shift so that they’re all hugging each other.

“I… I felt so fucking dumb,” Maggie blubbers. “I thought— I really thought th— That’d he’d give me a… shot…”

“I know… I k-know…”

Maggie feels Ava’s hand stroke her hair, whispering that it’s okay.

She lets herself cry in this little cacoon. Safe.

Finished, Maggie pulls back. Odin pats her shoulder as Ava rubs her arm.

“He… He didn’t want to go out with me. I thought he would… but I guess I fooled myself.”

Ava shakes her head, “It’s okay, this stuff kinda happens. You run away with an idea and then you don’t know where it went. But it’s really gonna be okay.”

Maggie turns to her, “I’m sorry, Ava.”

“What for?” asks Ava, surprised.

“It must’ve been hard for you to tell me you liked me… I really hurt you then too, and I never apologized for that.”

“Oh, Maggie… that’s okay!” Ava tells her, hugging her tight. Pulling back, she smiles, “We’re friends again, and that’s more than I could’ve wanted.”

Maggie smiles back, “Thanks, Ava.”

“He w-was a jerk anyway,” Odin says.

Laughing, Maggie grabs onto his arm, “I know he was rude to me, but it’s not that bad.”

“Well…” Odin starts, meeting gazes with Ava.

Maggie’s curious eyes turn dark. Grappling with the idea that not only Gil could be so cold towards her, but Ava as well. In another time, that might’ve made her a little happy. Might have.

“That’s horrible... I know I’m one to talk but... I can’t believe he’d do something like that. Although, I guess after today, I don’t know him at all.”

Odin steps forward, “You l-ladies wanna key his car?”

Ava giggles while Maggie throws her head back in a loud laugh.

“Odin, we can’t do that,” Ava says.

“As much as I’d feel better doing it, admittedly” Maggie states, crossing her arms. “I don’t think I have it in me to do that.”

“D-Doesn’t have to be us.”

-

“Man, they really took off,” Maggie comments.

“Yeah, wow. Look at them go,” Ava agrees.

“B-Best part is, they’ll be t-too tired to be up a-all night,” Odin says.

They watch as his three sisters throw toilet paper over Gil’s car, all of them writing obscenities and doodling on the windows.

“Will any of this damage the car?” questions Ava.

“I l-let the girls have free rein so… I told them the basics: d-don’t slash his tires or b-b-brakes. Don’t t-throw rocks into the windows. Don’t steal anyt-t-thing. Car s-should be fine after a wash. M-Maybe new paint.”

“Those are the basics?”

“For t-them, yes.”

Maggie smirks, “Gotta hand it to ya, you’re raising those girls to be something else.”

“T-Thanks, I think,” Odin says, pulling out his pipe to smoke.

Ava holds out her hand after he takes several puffs. He hands it to her, automatic.

Maggie stares at them out of her periphery. Hopefully, they’ll take the plunge to date one day. Otherwise, she might have to push that.

“Hey, I’m glad you two are here with me,” she gushes. “You two are the best.”

“A-Anytime,” Odin says, nudging her. “After all, n-nothing says camaraderie like m-messing with someone’s property.”

Maggie snickers, “I’m so lucky.”

“But seriously, Maggie. We’re always here for you too,” says Ava, beaming. “What are friends for.”

“Right,” she agrees.

They’re an odd little group, but they’re always looking out for each other, hearing one another out. It’s always difficult to work around other people. But if someone matters enough, you learn to adapt and mold around them. Their trio is so full of good things, she is grateful to have friends around who actually care about her.

Well, adding a boyfriend wouldn’t hurt. She looks up at the stars. He might be out there somewhere still.

For now, she has them. Until then, Maggie can’t think of anything better than to have people like this by her side.

[cinder-timber]

1-116

i did all these instead of working on my articles due today

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now? cause i’m dumb af and cause i’m thinking about everything and making myself anxious

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? sometimes i get them from my mom when like something big is about to happen (like when i had auditions and stuff) or i’m feeling sick. they’re sweet

3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care? yeah. i mean i’m not going to just drop them. i’m not an ass. but like. it could be an issue

4: Do you find it easy to trust others? not really but i like to think the best of people. like i’m really guarded but kinda hopeful too. i w a n t to trust others but i don’t do it well

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night? trying to get motivation to do my work

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you? idk i’m probably doing it alone tbh. i f anyone, i’d hope zuma or peter

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?cry. a lot. cycle between anger and sad. I’d give them a chance to maybe like explain or to fix it. but that trust is ruined. and i’d probably eventually end it8: Are you close with your dad? yeah but no. like, im a lot closer with my mom and i’ll share stuff with her but like. i love my dad there’s just some (a lot of things) that i’m like nope

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right? heck off

10: What are you listening to? podcast. Off topic. not really listening though i just can’t sit in silence

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it? apple juice maybe

12: Do you like hickeys? never had them so. but maybe. i like the fact that they usually mean someone had a real nice time

13: What time do you go to bed? whenever my body just. shuts down. usually i wake up like fuck i fell asleep

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down? myself bit c h

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both? not as quick but still pretty dang quick

16: Do you always answer your texts? i try but sometimes i A) don’t know how to respond B) can’t find the energy to C) the text makes me anxious and i can’t even look at it17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? No. Opposite

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? like. fifteen minutes ago. talk talk though, Thursday

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? Zuma, Layla

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? Let’s just say it was bad things

21: Is anyone else in the room with you? nah

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around? a bit. very satisfying when it happens

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now? about four months ago i was home with my dog so no.

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? kinda. not like we hate each other and i wish i could fix it but like. yeah

25: In the past week, have you cried? yeah

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing? black. it’s usually safe to assume i’m wearing black

27: Do people ever call you by your last name? not really

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now? i feel like it but i’m probably just overthinking like usual

29: Do you have a best friend? Zuma

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed? no last person i kissed so

31: Who was your last call/text message from? zuma and how he’s basically furby jesus

32: Are you mad at anyone? not really. frustrated but not mad

33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you? no

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? 0

35: How many more days until your birthday? 38 days

36: Do you have any summer plans yet? i have a study abroad trip in June. Plan on seeing Zuma at some point but other than that, no

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? yes

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? eh

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? i have several

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? hasn’t happened

41: Do you think age matters in relationships? yes but like. extremes.

42: Are you available? Y E S

43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? one?

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? i have a septum piercing. i wanted a industrial bar but my ear is too tiny. some other earring piercing that i can’t remember the name for. i like labret piercings (the one on like your bottom lip in the middle). if i was more confident with my tummy and would actually show it off, a belly button piercing. 45: Do you believe exes can be friends? depends on how it ended but yeah. i’d hope so. i can’t imagine getting that close to someone and then just. ending it. it makes me anxious thinking about it

46: Do you regret anything? many a things

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? mean things that i’m not gonna worry people with

48: Did you ever lose a best friend?no. i’ve lost a friend but she was more a “friend” 49: Was your last kiss a mistake? 😒

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? because i know for a Fact it will not happen/work

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? 😒😒

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed? 😒😒😒53: What was the last thing you ate? a pack of fruit snacks

54: Did you get any compliments today? i have not even seen anyone today

55: Where are you going on your next vacation? i probably won’t until my study abroad trip. maybe a small trip for my birthday

56: Do you own anything from other countries? postcards

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls? it’s a pretty even split tbh

58: Where have you lived most of your life? Tennessee

59: When was the last time you took a long drive? ok like. how long is a long drive? to me that’s like five hours. and i haven’t done that in a while

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?no61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house? nope

62: Who do you text the most? Zuma

63: What was the last movie you saw?Logan64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex? 😒😒😒

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011? none 😒😒😒😒

66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you? 😒😒😒😒😒😒

67: Do you curse around your parents? very small doses. and when i’m like relaying a story usually

68: Are you happy with where you live? eh

69: Picture of yourself? in a second

70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships? i’m pretty sure i’m a monogamous person. if i did the open end, it’d have to be a we’re all three in a relationship together kind of thing.

71: Have you ever been dumped? no

72: What do you most like about making out? 😒😒😒😒😒😒🖕🏻

73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with? no

74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other? 😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻

75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive? smiles are pretty nice

76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed? i think zuma. if not him, no one

77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour? nah

78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name? listen i’ve never had sex and tbh not the biggest fan of it

79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your faceanimals. and when someone does/says something nice about me. like honestly someone tagged me in something like offhandedly nice and i almost cried and screenshotted and stared at it for like twenty minutes

80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? idk there’s a lot of variables to consider in that. but it’s not a hard no

81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you? no

82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush? n o

83: Do you miss your last sweetie? sigh

84: Last time you slow danced with someone? like senior prom two years ago.

85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?never dated. the never met part makes me anxious though. i gotta know a little bit about them 86: How can I win your heart? we just have to like. get along, kinda click. it’s not that hard

87: What is your astrological sign? Taurus

88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?i think i was in the shower89: Do you cook? yeah. i think pretty decently too

90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication? no

91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship? yes

92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly? i don’t do either

93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest? physically, i’m really not picky. i find a good majority of people attractive

94: Name four things that you wish you had!1. my dog2. more pets3. a relationship or something like it at least. (i just need cuddles man)4. my best friend being not so far away

95: Are you a player? no

96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day? no

97: Are you a tease? i don’t think so

98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr? Zuma. Burrowing owl

99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone? i think so but idk

100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with? yeah

101: Hugs or Kisses?either one honestly102: Are you too shy to ask someone out? I’m too shy to say yes to anything even remotely close, let alone ask someone out

103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? that they’re. the opposite sex i guess. idk. something unique about them (anyone tbh)104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe? i mean. i’ve been called babe by friends before. i might find it cute when it’s said romantically but idk

105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it? Fuck no. Fuck anyone that does that

106: Do you flirt a lot? no

107: Your last kiss?

108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012? who does this. who does all this kissing that there’s so many kissing questions

109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month? W h y

110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be? stop

111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next? enough

112: Does someone like you currently? lmao no

113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone? kinda

114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? serious. i get too attached to people for flings

115: Ever made out with just a friend? no. we do little nose or forehead kisses but never made out

116: Are you happier single or in a relationship? idk

#anon #asks #why is there always s o many about relationships and kissing #like i'm fine with them h tim there's like ten on just that #chill