#josey lollipop chainsaw

[rjshepherd]

rambelling about the dark purveyors

so i wrote this last night in like 40 minutes before i went to bed, then tumblr wasnt working on desktop so i couldnt post it lmao

Uhhhh so im still on my lollipop chainsaw bender and i'm stuck making au’s for the dark purveyors and such . but also i kinda wondered what jobs they would have had if they'd lived? Hell maybe they could have jobs in the rotten world, who knows

Zed

So for some reason I can see Zed having a medical job. Maybe not a Doctor, family medicine or general practice but maybe a surgeon? I can def see him taking an interest in cutting people up and just being like “well i GUESS i can fix them while i'm at it.'' I can also see him just blasting misfits as his operating. Failing that, lab tech? Still science and biology, maybe he still works in a hospital as a nurse or phlebotomist? I could maybe even see him working as a crime scene tech or a crime scene cleaner? He's not squeamish and I imagine he’d love to tell people gross stories from his job. Something science or medicine based is up his alley.i don't think he cares for cops but he seems like he might like working shit out like a detective, so maybe a medical examiner? Being punk is fun and all but it doesn't pay the bills. 

Vikke

Another medical job maybe? Perhaps not with human thought. I feel like Vikke is maybe an animal whisperer. I could see him working in a Zoo, obviously he loves the bears most but he can look after all the animals. Maybe he could work in a rescue centre that takes exotic or farm animals ? I can see him as a vet very easily but I could also see him as an animal trainer, maybe for movies and such? Stays on set to help them film, all the other dark purveyors are jealous because he gets to hang around with animals and actors all day but he's pretty humble about it. I know he has Yumil as a pet/poncho but I also think he has a little ratty teacup dog who is the most vicious headbanger you've ever met. It's probably called Thor or something. Vikke puts bathory on his home sound system before he goes to work so the dog doesn't get lonely.

Mariska

So she works in a dispensary, obviously but it's more like a dispensary/cafe? I think maybe she's doing a little cooperative thing : half the store is a dispensary and is run by the growers, half the store is a cafe that Mariska runs. She makes space cakes and sews weed themed bags and things like that. It's definitely a favourite hangout for the others, they started going for the free coffee and cheap weed but it's honestly such a chill place to hang out they started buying things to keep the lights on so they'd always have a place to go ( also mariska wouldn't stop banging on about supporting local shops, threatened to play nothing but go ask alice until the bought something). She organises craft days and live music and workshops for people wanting to learn to write or who need help with their CVs or people who want to learn a new craft like knitting or macrame. She even goes out to the farmers market on Saturdays with one of those little portable coffee shop caravans. Honestly, homegirl is living her best life and I love that for her. 

Josey

SO josey is the only one who still has a job in the music field. I can see him owning a record store or maybe some sort of promotion agency? He decorated the fulci fun centre, i think he might have a bit of artistic talent in him. Maybe he does the art for artists' posters? Set up the flyers and do the t-shirt art for the concerts? He seems tech savvy so i could also see him doing DJ gigs. Actually as i was typing this i remembered; if you go to the chain link fence in the fulci fun centre where you get a nick ticket, you can see a neon sign that says Josey’s arcade. Maybe he runs his own gaming place. Given his uh….personality, i can see it being more adult focused, slots and pachinko machines, old r18 arcade cabs of DOOM, maybe some vr headsets with questionable games installed? I feel like he’d also do parties but less kid parties and more 21st parties with booze and strippers and pacman, bachelor parties with pole dancers when you win. If you get enough tickets from skee ball you can get a lapdance, that sort of thing. 

Lewis

Ok hear me out: i think lewis would be into robotics. First thought was he works in a garage that specialises in fancy mods and detailing and while I can totally see that as a practical job, I imagine he has a side gig doing animatronics, fancy rigs and elaborate custom toys for grown folks and maybe movies? Maybe he works on the same sets as Vikke occasionally. Ellyphant was pretty cool and I know it was probably magic but Lewis would have had to think of the design, maybe even on the fly as Juliet sliced it in different places . That's creativity, that's engineering, that's out of the box thinking ! He'd make a good contestant on robot wars is all I'm saying. Day to day he does work on bikes and cars. It's fun giving people their dream ride but what he enjoys more is taking a pos scrap car or bike and restoring it from just a shell and some wheels to something amazing that is worth thousands. I don't think he likes telling folks about his side thing because it's nerdy and he’s still got that greaser tough guy image to protect. 

Swan

Ok swan was definitely the most difficult to choose because like. He's not in the game enough to get a gist of him and his skills. He's a necromancer, bad at sports and needs to talk to a therapist but that's not going on his CV. in the au im making, swan is a reaper : basically while juliet is killing alive monsters, Swan is killing dead humans, people who cant or wont pass on . I like the yin and yang thing between them, swan having to grow up by seeing how many people don't want to die, don't deserve to die and knowing he wasted his life on revenge. Totally stole this idea from Kuroshitsuji, the reapers there are people who are people being punished for taking their own lives, so i thought it fit well with swans story. 

But this isn't that au im talking about, these are just hypotheticals, I'll talk about their reaper au stories some other time. For grown swan i thought a few things: he's a “geek” so he's obviously smart , he's good at planning (world domination notwithstanding), he's good with explosives (well good might be a stretch but he knows how to use them) and he's good with languages ( he speaks latin (or an approximation of latin) while summoning the dark purveyors)) so here's my potential job list : teacher or someone in academia, he's clearly smart, i don't think he could do highschool again but college might be fun for him. 

Linguistics tutor/researcher: Latin is a dead language, being able to translate it for research, for history or even for medicine would be a good choice for him. He hasn't got the greatest social skills so something involving people long dead seems like a good choice. 

pyrotechnician/demolition expert: ok this man is smart, patient, good at planning and has previous explosion experience. Tell me you wouldnt like to see this goth fuck rock up someplace with 12 tonns of c4 to an old ass building, level it then quietly just air drum the opening of down with the sickness???? If you say no I'll know you're lying. 

#lollipop chainsaw #swan lollipop chainsaw #zed lollipop chainsaw #vikke lollipop chainsaw #mariska lollipop chainsaw #josey lollipop chainsaw #lewis lollipop chainsaw #lollipop chainsaw headcanons

[speckle-meow-meow]

Can you do some Josey (from lollipop chainsaw) x reader headcannos please? The other dark purveyors need more love imo

I can do my best! I don't really like him so I these head canons won't be long

Being with Josey is.... Eventful

(He's not my fav personally)

It's never silent so if you don't like silence to much BOOM techno music is always playing

I feel like his love language is words of affirmation

He probably gifts you some eye blinding bling

{Hey anon I hope you liked this! As always hearts and reblogs are always welcomed, along with questions, comments, and requests}

#x reader #gender nuetral reader #fluff #lollipop chainsaw #Josey lollipop chainsaw #lollipop chainsaw x reader

[kevinabel]

"Five tickets to the Barbie movie, please"

#barbie #barbie movie #lollipop chainsaw #lollipopchainsaw #the dark purveyors #dark purveyors #zed #vikke #mariska #josey #lewis legend

[kirlias452]

Is it alright if you could write about Poly dark purveyors when their s/o is sick/dismembered?

THIS TOOK ME SO LONG AAAAAAA HOPE YOU LIKE ITTTT

Note: Reader is G/N and is a rock opera purveyor with their weapon being a violin scythe.

🎶 You were a rock opera purveyor (a representation of Swan’s resentment towards everything). You fought with the other purveyors and made it harder for Juliet to stop Swan’s plans. It was a tag team effort in both stalling her and trying to take her down.

🎶 After Defeating Lewis Legend, Juliet— now face-to-face with you was ready to stop Swan’s plan. On one hand— you didn’t want to hurt her too bad, but on the other, she killed your dear friends. Juliet had to suffer for that. You readied your violin weapon with Juliet prepared to take down the very last purveyor — You.

🎶 After dodging the swings of your scythe, Juliet saw an opening and struck your shoulder blade with her chainsaw. That male head on her hip shouted in surprise as your now detached arm launched at Juliet and began to scratch at her.

🎶 You gave her a twisted smile and you held onto your scythe with a hard grip. The detached head on Juliet’s hip made a comment about how she had to avoid the severed moving limb along with your scythe attacks. Juliet chimed in; saying how gross it was with how it moved.

🎶 You tried to get another strong swing at her but she quickly dodged it and went for your remaining shoulder blade, cutting it clean off and dropping your scythe.

🎶This in response made you scream in anger at the cheerleader, not only for the loss of your buddies, but also your arms.

🎶You yelled and cursed at her with all your might as your arms began attacking Juliet. You felt your arms grow back as you went and snatched your scythe up.

🎶You stated to the cheerleader that you would finish her off and complete the ritual to summon Killabilly. The smile you gave her was wide and bearing sharp teeth, as you got into your fighting stance.

🎶 Juliet had dodged your strongest scythe attack once more as she summersaulted in the air and pierced her chainsaw through your torso and moving it upwards. Your upper body was cut in halve.

🎶 You gave her a cold remark on how she had succeeded in completing the ritual, now that you had fulfilled your role in it. You fell to your knees as large amounts of blood pooled from below your opened wound. You let out a mocking giggle as Juliet ran towards you with a grimace and swung her weapon down hard on you.

🎶 You woke up back in Rotten World after Juliet had taken you out. It was infuriating how you have to see your darlings also get taken out by that girl with her talking head buddy.

🎶You looked to see Killabilly back on his throne, looking worse for wear. ‘The King of zombies… failed?’ You thought to yourself in disbelief as you looked around for you and your friend’s hideout. You haven’t noticed that your body was still in pieces thanks to Juliet.

🎶You huffed in annoyance and you manoeuvred one of your limbs near your severed head so you could rest on it.

🎶 After a few minutes of taking a nap, you felt someone pick your head up, this caused your eyes to shoot open as you looked at the person holding your severed head; it was Zed, one of your darlings.

🎶 He held you by the sides of your head and let out a slightly drawn-out ‘fuck me’ in a hushed tone as he inspected your other body parts. The others looked at your dismembered body in both shock and slight concern. Juliet gave you the worst out of the others.

🎶 “Dang babe,—“ Josey picked your left arm up, “That cheerleader girl messed you up real good.” He looked over the arm, seeing if it was damaged. Luckily it wasn’t, but still.

🎶 “Aye, y’ got closer than any of us to beating that bitch, that’s f’ sure!” Vikkie boasted with a small chuckle he grabbed your torso

🎶 “It’s not every day that some dude gets to be the last to summon the big guy, man.” Mariska pointed out as she pulled out a needle and thread.

🎶 Lewis had to put your body parts in the right places, giving you a slight glance before looking at Mariska. “Gotta hand it to ‘em; Sunshine over here put up a good fight.” Their compliments at least made you feel happy wile the zombie hippie stitched your limbs back together.

🎶 Once you got your body back together, you immediately thanked them for their effort and kindness. It’s not the first time you had to be stitched back together.

🎶 Vikkie went up to you and gave you a bear hug,

“My little ástvinur is all good now!” He let out a hearty laugh, giving you a kiss on the cheek for good measure.

🎶 Letting you go, you went to the others and gave them a warm smile and held you arms out to the others, lightly blushing.

“I’m so glad to have such lovers like you.”

🎶 Zed chuckled, rubbing the back of his head,

“C’mon bud, don’t get all soft on us now, you’re gonna make my heart start beating.”

🎶 You giggled at the punk zombies statement, giving him a light peck on the cheek.

#lollipop chainsaw josey #lollipop chainsaw dark purveyor #lollipop chainsaw vikke #lollipop chainsaw zed #lollipop chainsaw #lollipop chainsaw lewis legend #dark purveyors #x reader #fluff #gn reader #lollipop chainsaw dark purveyors #dark purveyors x reader #lollipop chainsaw x reader #poly x reader #poly relationship #poly dark purveyors

[ibelieveinvillainsupremacy]

PLEASE don't let it flop!!

It took me too long :(

#lollipop chainsaw josey #lollipop chainsaw lewis legend #lollipop chainsaw mariska #swan lollipop chainsaw #lollipop chainsaw zed #my edit #neoni #dark purveyors

[royal-skull-princess]

Finally another dark purveyor fan

Yeah! I can tell you are too. Which one do you like the most?

I'm rarely hoping to see them as yanderes!

#lollipop chainsaw #Zed #Vikke #Mariska #Josey #Lewis Legend #Dark Purveyors

[thestalkerbunny]

I hate how COOL Josey’s design could have been with the concepts and references he has. He could have had SUCH a cool design. And he DOES. It’s just when I get to the WAIST, it all goes DOWNHILL.

#TSB Draws #Lollipop Chainsaw #Lollipop Chainsaw Josey #Josey #Zombie #Undead #Monster #Horror

[witchplease-freakbitch]

#I love my hyperfixations #looove mariska #love josey #<333 #lollipop chainsaw <333 #freakbitch music #Spotify

[crabbycola]

im having such a hard time desciding vikke's and josey's pokemon types, i want to give both the type electric team but i feel that they are different type of electric, im more in the josey side tho for that type. Vikke also could be a ice trainer? Maybe??? Im confused af, maybe even water??? even if it doesnt make sence??

(I mean I kinda can make a pokemon type that usually doesnt have relation to the character have some relation ((not...totally swan's team)) so maybe i get something out of my ass for that)

Also yeah im making a pokemon x lollipop chainsaw au, because im a fucking little shit that likes to combine their favs media

#lollipop chainsaw #choco speak bullshit #weird au made by pinchy #if anyone read this #hi #im having the hardest time in my life

[kool-aidpipelining01]

I made a lollipop chainsaw as vines/tiktoks/markiplier comp and I have no regrets

#lollipop chainsaw #juliet starling #nick carlyle #ah fuck how do i tag these #meh fuck it #zed #vikke #mariska #josey #lewis legend #lollipop chainsaw zed #lollipop chainsaw vikke #lollipop chainsaw mariska #lollipop chainsaw josey #lollipop chainsaw lewis #lollipop chainsaw juliet #lollipop chainsaw nick #oh yeah forgot goth boi LMAO #swan #lollipop chainsaw swan #watch me tag mlp and msi #haha jk jk.... #unless? #most of these are random tiktoks and vines #but also a lot of quensidilla vines #and clips from markiplier's 'only ~99 iq individuals may watch' #this is gorgeous to me so please enjoy #and if you don't know what this is and you only follow me for other shit then im sorry

[robinsnest2111]

Y’all, I finally fulfilled my early teenhood dream of being skilled enough to draw the Dark Purveyors (and Swan) and it actually looking like them! TT U TT

#lollipop chainsaw #zed #lewis legend #vikke #mariska #swan #josey #zombies #robin's art adventures

[rjshepherd]

dark purveyors theory

so im rewatching someone play lollipop chainsaw and i have a dumb theory.: i dont think the dark purveyors are willing participants in the ritual swan starts.

at the very beginning of the game just after fighting zed, morikawa says nick and juilet must "purify " the dark purveyors . to me, thats a fucking weird choice of words . why not purge? why not defeat? why not slay? it just seems odd to me. then theres Swan, they refer to him as master and ask for him to give them orders, they seem weirdly enthusiastic about it , esp mariska and Zed and i cant for the life of me figure out why.

think about it, they get picked (or preselected ) and pulled out of their home realm to "a world that makes me (mariska) wana puke" and the only thing they have to look forward to is dying again in horrific ways? they obviously feel pain, Zed spends his whole death scene screaming, so do mariska and josey. whats in it for them? My dumb theory is that they were cajoled or forced into it by swan or killibilly against their will.

the choice of the word "purified" makes me think of some sort of cleansing ritual, like their souls are being freed. maybe they volunteered so they could go to the land beyond words? with killibilly in charge of the rotten world, i doubt that would happen but its the only thing that i can possibly think of for why they would be ok going through with this dumb ritual. every other reason i come up with ends with the logic they were forced into it. i can only hope they got some sort of reward for having to go through that.

#lollipop chainsaw #lewis legend lollipop chainsaw #vikke lollypop chainsaw #mariska lollypop chainsaw #zed lollypop chainsaw #swan lollipop chainsaw #lollipop chainsaw headcanons #lollipop chainsaw josey

[kirlias452]

Poly Dark Proveyers x Reader Imagine

(Excluding Swam, I might make a seperate one for him in the future)

🎶 They’re all protective over you, firstly.

🎶 All of them take turns with hanging out with you, though it’s usually random depending on the day.

🎶 Either Lewis or Vikke hold your hand the most.

🎶 When Mariska gets to be with you, she’ll offer up flower-picking or going out to a petting zoo.

🎶 Out of all the proveyers, Zed is the most protective of you.

🎶 If you wanted go out with all of them, they’d be happy to do so. But they all have to agree on where though.

🎶 Josey is pretty chill with you, especially when you want to lean up against him. He’s chill about it.

🎶 Vikkie is a giant goofball when he hangs out with you, he’ll show off his drumming skill just to try and impress you.

🎶 When you’re hanging out with Zed, he’ll just have you will him and talk about stuff. He’ll even tease you a bit here and there but in an affectionate way.

🎶 When you’re with Lewis, he’ll have you come ride with him on his motorcycle.

🎶 Group hugs with them can happen if they’re all in the same room with you.

🎶 They can get a tiny bit jealous if you kiss one of the purveyors on the cheek while their in.

🎶 The dark purveyors all sit together if they see that you look a bit lonely on their own.

🎶 The purveyors would all try their best to cheer you up if they feel down (ie. tell some jokes, give some helpful advice, ect.)

🎶 Lewis is the best kisser out of the purveyors.

🎶 Overall, the purveyors all pretty sweet and buddy-buddy with you. They bring love and joy to the groups undead lives.

#lollipop chainsaw #lollipop chainsaw zed #lollipop chainsaw vikke #lollipop chainsaw mariska #lollipop chainsaw josey #lollipop chainsaw lewis legend #lollipop chainsaw x reader #lollipop chainsaw imagines #nobody has done this so imma do it #these dudes need more love #dark purveyors #dark purveyors x reader #lollipop chainsaw dark purveyors #x reader

[ibelieveinvillainsupremacy]

The poll has spoken.

Here's the aesthetics :D

Hope you like them <3

#lollipop chainsaw #lollipop chainsaw zed #lollipop chainsaw vikke #lollipop chainsaw mariska #lollipop chainsaw josey #lollipop chainsaw lewis legend #swan lollipop chainsaw #aestethic

[royal-skull-princess]

Any fan of your favorite zombie overlords, please make any free requests as you like! 🧟

(Sorry, had to repost this. Made a mistake)

#lollipop chainsaw #dark purveyors #zombies #zed #vikke #Mariska #josey #lewis legend

[thestalkerbunny]

Omg another lollipop chainsaw fan!!! I thought I was the only one! Also what’s swans thoughts on Josey and Vikke?

Yep that's me, single handidly trying to make Lollipop Chainsaw Content in the year of our lord 2023

I can only think Swan's thoughts are both 'no way Vikkie is 18, that man looks like he's 30 and why is that one wearing a DIAPER'

Which are also MY thoughts. Despite having gone to school with boys who look EXACTLY LIKE VIKKE DOWN TO THE BEARD.

#TSB ask #Lollipop Chainsaw