#ive started it and i loved it and working on it was fun even if pretty hard

[bacchuschucklefuck]

okay unironically I love so much that porter is like this world SUCKS its BAD here and it HURTS you why do you care abt it!!! and literally every single bad kid is like ngl we just hate ur ass it does not matter what ur philosophy is

#dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year #not art #fhjy spoilers #its!!! gods I will Be My Ass in the tags rn. but thats so like. deliciously setting typical #like porter's desire is to transcend and his contempt for the world he's in feels. idk Real #like he plays the game bc he wants to win and be done with it. how do I word this #yknow. being a god would like. be his win state. when he gets that happening thats it his story is done he checks out #meanwhile the bad kids do actually just like playing the game lmao. like they love adventuring! #theyre so solidly Of This World. they carry the values that can only be born of it and they like having mastery over it #its a meta angle that I think is very fun specifically for d20 being in such a unique position in the zeitgeist when it first started #the rat grinders are from DnD Writ Large. porter wants to escape. but this is the bad kids' home its Their Actual Play Show #which makes it so fucking excellent to me that porter's question is somewhat of merit! its their show and it tries very hard to punish them #and they just straight up dont listen to him here lmao bc they hate him but! since the moment the academic track ended its been clear #that they save the world bc they Like Playing. With Each Others #thats what riz thinks the core of adventuring is! thats why fig stayed! and I also think thats why this hovers over elmville now and #a dead god is coming back in the school gym. porter is a shit evangelist but even if hes a good one I dont think it wouldve worked like he #wants it to. the only way he couldve escaped is if he'd not involved elmville at all. thats where the bad kids met dude #its a shitty place that fucks with them but they all come back here bc they wanna play with each others #and in that regard I think thats what the stress tokens ultimately means. Is This Game Still Fun To Play. ITS A RAGEQUIT LIMIT #Im literally running from one end to another of this conspiracy board Ive pulled out of nowhere #Ill draw after this I just wanna get this out. gods this episode has done nothing but furthering my delusion of grandeur actually #Im the hottest smartest manthing on earth Im king fucking midas over here. anyways uh! great ep!

[jestroer]

So. Uh. Redscape nation rise up?

Scar and Mumbo as a painting In Bed, The Kiss, by Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec for @shepscapades hermitcraft character design event i started like three weeks ago and spent countless hours on!

The original painting under the cut

#idk why i thought it wouldnt be too hard imitating this artstyle was the hardest thing ive done like ever probably #it looks pretty simple and sketchy but #ive spent so much on this #hermitcraft #hermitshipping #mumbo jumbo #goodtimeswithscar #redscape #scarbo #mumscar #shepshermitdesign23 #dont mind that even ended already like a week ago #ive started it and i loved it and working on it was fun even if pretty hard #always loved that painting so naturally it was one of the first ones i thought of #and redscape because im mentally ill #court jester's art

[noecoded]

If you could have any Asmo/reader fic what would be the things you would want from it? like an ideal fic would contain what tropes or AUS or situations or whatever

uhmm anything wellwritten that characterizes asmo similar to the way i do ! i rlly like character exploration , both more serious stuff & just sillycute...anything where asmo is a little cunning and toxic and also gets railed into oblivion.anything where hes a vampire. ill write a tag essay about the specifics

#xreaders are too unrelatable for me usually .. im aroace and the only relationship dynamics that r rlly interesting to me r likee #toxic or tumultuous...i think in many asmo fics hes just very one note or like not a complex love interest .which is fine because hes like #that in the game but i am especially drawn to fics where the author has their own kind of unique take on it. nuance. etc #it's really interesting to see situations in which asmo kind of reaps the consequences of shitty behavior or struggles with parts of himsel #f he doesnt like. not just in like ohhh im insecure sobsob but like deeprooted issues & patterns thought processes that come with being a d #demon that maybe clash with human morality or ideals...like what if he sees human lives as generally more disposable because hes lived for #so long?? what would a fic be like about him wanting a fling with a human that ends up taking apart their life but to him its just a fun #little romance without any real consequences or commitment?? even if he was obsessed w them professing his undying love etc etc he could ge #t bored and drop it anytime and outlive them by millions of years and forget...& how does a human love an entity like that? how could the r #relationship look anything close to normal ever...anyway i like fics that touch on questions like this theyre kind of rare though #this all being said i def dont think asmo is completely evil💭 nuance #at work so im literally just wasting time by thinking about this rn but this was like the asmotoni dynamic its too interesting to me #asmotoni is like this in my head but on papwr i just draw them fucking witj bunny ears sorry #this doesnt even answer ur question really. if i could write a fic rn it would be like 200k word emo band au that isnt xreader or a romance #fic it would just be asmo beel belphie as humans starting a band and their rise and fall etc ive been thinking abt that plot nonstop

[lunarharp]

wip thing...

of my bg3 avatar hellebore. i also did some casual nude studies of my 3 characters which i'll put under a cut... rather unlike me after all. (so WARNING for abrupt non-sexual full Artistic nudity lol...,,,,) (< won't be making a habit of this)

they mean the world to me

#bg3 spoilers #?? idk. gith look so..Emaciated. And long. i guess we don't eat on the astral plane :) anyway..well..too much to say..... #it is very very very depressing having to live in the Real World after that final playthrough meant so very much to me. #i normally feel Hope & suchlike after finishing a highly immersive emotional game..but it's too hard this time and it hurtsssss lol yippee #i appreciate bg3 very much for being a place where i could access the concept of nudity & such like in a way that finally felt comfortable. #bodies are inherently non-sexual. they just Are a Fact of Life. this game being NORMAL about nudity from the character creation screen #makes it possible for someone like me to actually have a chance at accessing sensuality in a way that feels comfortable from there. #dont feel like putting it into words further. im ace. just very grateful to this game. even despite the horrors i will never ever forget it #augoh..gugf.. want to go back. my friends & love are in there.....i'm supposed to just move on? in the real world??? THIS place???? UHH???? #my characters canonically look like that too!! i see them as intersex and not so much trans. They just look that way. #Diversity win!!! the people who enacted horrors upon you and are trying to kill you again respect your pronouns!!!! <3 #I FAILED HONOUR MODE IN THE STUPIDEST WAY POSSIBLE..ACCIDENTALLY TOUCHED AN ITEM. MY LOVER TOUCHED SOME BLOOD-TOUCHED RAG ITEM @ THE CRECHE #AND MY PEOPLE MASSACRED US... YOU BELOVED PRAT. OF COURSE IT WOULD BE YOU AND IN THIS WAY #grateful for love triangle chaos...INTENSE EX DRAMA... IT HAD MAJOR REPURCUSSIONS THIS TIME...ohh so very much happened ohh my dear #truly don't know how to face the Real World now for real. I Don't Know. something has snapped. ive realised twt just makes me feel sad lol #if something in my spare time isn't at least half as fun as bg3....like.. it's not good enough. god we only have one wild and precious life #being Online makes me feel a loneliness so wretched and painful and horrible i really don't think this is the answer. #Why did you even start drawing in the first place? Why did you start this? #For real..the need to work this out and decide what on earth i'm going to do now has presented itself. Why try to get better..why be online #someone who has an imagination that can keep them so happy and fulfilled...has no business also feeling a loneliness as profound as this. #why was someone THIS introverted and withdrawn and anxious also cursed with such a restlessness? #What are you going to DO now? because hellebore and their lover are fine....... So what about you...? #hellebore..😭😭 AUUGHH!! I JUST WANT TO GO TO MY BED IN THE INN...PLAY ON MY VIOLIN THAT'S WHAT I'D DO!!!! i'd drink some ALE DAMNIT!!!!! #i was rereading My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness- the only time i've seen this level of emotional isolation depicted-and was grateful. #but then i read her latest book and now she has a debilitating substance abuse situation and it's upsetting. #I hope she finds what she was looking for. I hope we all make it. kind of wild that i dont do such major self-sabotage at this point myself #I truly think anyone who manages to find dear friends and achieve fulfillment and happiness with others outside themselves are amazing. #I see it happen from my tower. i hope we all make it. I hope we can make it through everything to come. #Why did i say all this on drawings of my characters naked. ah who even cares any more......

[jennilah]

the more franchises i get into the stronger my chances get of randomly working on them one day and that makes me happier than youd imagine

im like an ascended nerd

no this isnt a hint at anything im just thinking about the various new things i got into in 2023 alone & was like "DUDE BUT WHAT IF ONE DAY THO"

#and like i do hear about it when things are being made. i could for example hop studios to just work on godzilla forever but i wont #i prefer to play it by ear bc i get more fun experiences that way even tho sometimes i do ask to work on certain things #like... well.. godzilla. both times. #anyway thats besides the point im just sayin im pretty good at animating things dying so... horror genre..... hmu..... #i guess they do actually #like ive been requested based on my ability to kill things #anyway this isnt only about horror stuff i mean i got into a whoile bunch of things by my lovely friends lately and its been real fun #like the fast & furioses and mission impossibles and john wicks and our studios straight up worked on those so like its not impossible #anyway i feel like i should start tagging posts i write while high or something bc uhhh #jennilargh

[lucky-draws]

im almost finished with my current sketchbook........ should i attempt a "sketchbook tour" video ? it would be 80% everything ive already posted on here anyway but it might be nice to see the full spreads and the warm up doodles and talk about art and things and whatnot idk. (i have 0 video making ability and no camera except my phone so if i did do it it would look really bad but that's okay. )

#even if people vote yes there's no guarantee ill do it because if there's one thing i love its saying i might do something and then never #doing it. but it might be a bit fun #previously i was just working off loose sheets instead of in a sketchbook but ive found that working in a sketchbook is a lot more enjoyable #and im excited to start a new one and make even better stuff in it

[goldiipond]

HARVEST MOON??? omg you just unlocked a memory from like, a decade ago. I used to be obsessed w the animal parade characters

YEEEEAHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the only game in the series ive played is tale of two towns i was obsessed with it as a kid. it was really nice to come back to, all the characters are so fun and charming and it brought back a lot of memories <3

#skye's ramblings #harvest moon has always been a series ive been interested in but i havent tried any other titles. mayb some day .. #iknow the games are great it definitely is a type of series i feel like i can just sort of relax with yknow. ilike life sim games like that #but yah tott has really good characters man i maxed out my friendship w everyone by like year 3. theyre all so fun #theyre really really fun to draw too they were a nice way to start easing back into art <3 #also made my character a guy so i could do the girls romance routes but it was really funny seeing the guy i chose in my og file again #because it was cam and let me tell you. of the guys in this game cam is 100% the guy i'd expect an unaware lesbian to choose #also i picked reina this time which makes that even funnier to me. my type is socially awkward dorks that are really autistic about plants #speaking of reina ilove reina. ilove reina soo much. love her design even if i am so confused abt how her hair works. i love reina #love the non-romanceable villagers too my favorite's probably mako. ifucking love mako #bowIetta #shrimps squad

[toastsnaffler]

told my coworker I just started elden ring and he was like fuck me playing souls games is more stressful than a full time job I had to quit ER when I started this job so I could just chill out when I got home instead.... 💀

#I didnt even start the conversation he just remembered im into rogues/souls and was making small talk.. sweet guy #i think ive won his respect by being a souls fan 🫡 #ive only played a couple hours so far (and lets be real. most of that was in character creator) but its really fun ive been thinking abt #it at work all day.... the fights are challenging but actually not as difficult as i thought considering how much ppl complain #like it feels very fair + the fight patterns are easier to pick up than most rogue bosses tbh. im a little clumsy bc i dont play many #3d games but ill get the hang of it.. #also looooove the visuals + music. goes without saying tbh #i wanna make fanart of the character im playing as already teehee #if i get home and eat and shower relatively quickly i can probably play another 2 hours lets goooo #feeling so much more normal today i love mondays my best friend mondays. my period did start at work tho which suuucked #me titrating this substrate w a white knuckle grip on the pipette trying not to crumple in half over the bench and weep #ibuprofen does nothing for me..... i need to get some more cocodamol even if it does make me kinda drowsy #i dunno how im gonna survive periods when im back titrating meds again bc i cant take any nsaids... well. cross that bridge ig #anywaaay. bus was on time so should be home before 6 today woohoo #.diaries

[ikyw-t]

good evening everyone!! it is midnight and I have just submitted the final project of my final class of my bachelor's degree! tell me why my heart was actually beating out of my chest when I saw the clock turn to 11:50 and I was still editing the table of contents for my 20 page report lmao. but I turned it at 11:57 so we're all good 😊🤠

#honestly tho it's a great report like i really went off on making it look very nicz AND professional #as for the content? remains to be sezn #actually most of the project had already been written as we'd been working on it throughout the semester #i just had to write a couple of specific recommendations to wrap it all up and that's what im iffy about #i did write those two pages of recommendations bw the hours of 4pm and like 11:30pm lolll #but it's over now! #im too stressed to go to bed rn i think i shall get a lot of reading done tonight #ive been rereading wilder girls by rory power and it's soo good #im reading the romanian translation of it and it's actually very fun!! esp bc id tried starting it like a year ago #but I gave up after like a chapter bc i realized it was just a bit over my reading level at the time #butttt! ive done a lot more reading in romanian since then and now it's actually even FUN! which is just so delightful #there's still words i dont know on most pages but like i don't feel i have to struggle through every sentence anymore. #which is incredible for me #we absolutely love to see it

[angel-archivist]

God the horror genre. Is so many things. 

#AUGHh its so frusterating cuz like i feel like horror has such a potential as a genre to be worked into one that highlights opression #instead of feeding into it and there are def horror movies coming out and that have come out that tackle their themes in a way that works #not to endorse the fear of outsiders or the unknown but instead the fear of what is very well known but often ignored #but like ok so slashers right? I love a good slasher n the genre has so many really good movies but then you get movies like sleepaway camp #which are just. SO entrenched in transmisogynist ideas and queerphobia that its just like. yikes. #and then you have books like dracula and cosmic horror stuff by lovecraft and both the book and that author in speciifc feed into horror as #a genre of hatred where the 'unknown' is whats to be feard and the fear of the unknown too quickly leads into the fear of queerness or #different cultures or races #into bigotry #like i know dracula is big but as someone who read the book and wrote an essay on it. it is so important to acknowledge the copious amounts #of bigotry and misogyny and hatred that stoker wrote into that novel #ITS JUST god i love horror so much but there are just. some films that will never appeal to me cuz i just cant get over the hurdles of #intense hatred #like i could watch all of Halloween because of the amount of ableism like #also to be clear: it was a blind watch my parents are both pastors lol they werent sitting me down to watch slashers in my infancy and ive #only recently started going through and watching a lot of the 'classic' horror films #its fun! ive been having fun most have dated moments but god the first halloween film was rough #still wondering how that kid from middle school who's parents hated gay people and were like conservative catholics were chill with their #like 12 year old son watching a bunch of horror movies #n i couldnt even get my hands on one if i wanted to

[artemisbarnowl]

Trying to be very normal and casual about going back to melbourne tomorrow but actually im going insane

#everything that felt like home is out of reach!!! #the little balcony with tomato plants looking over the city #the asian grocers and restaurants around the corner #the market and trams and parks and general city lifestyle #gone #the going out on a whim and being able to walk wherever we decided to go? #forgetaboutit #instead im staying in the middle of nowhere suburbs with my parents (mums fine but dad is 😬) with nothing to do but avoid peoples qs #maybe sit on the cold cold beach #in a city of 6 million im terrified im going to run into him on the street #id start crying #i dont even know what to say #hello i love you i wish i didnt i hope youre well i know were both not and its my fault i dont know how to stop loving you #i hope you grow and learn how to be happy the more you do the less the reason i left you exists bye now!! #people at work have been saying i hope you have fun and i say i will try my best #or they ask about plans and i say fielding dumb qs and opinions from my extended fam about breaking up with someone ive loved for a decade #i am being pathetic and bitter in the workplace and thats stupid!!

[luriluth]

Brain is filled with so many thoughts tonight </3

#Im like. Sort of mourning how i could have been a better animator now but never got to be because i was forced to turn animating into a job #In my starting year #it really ruined me so bad that i never found so much joy or motivation animating even until now #I mean i could try and properly pick it up again. But ive tried already in the past and it never get past the sketches stage #i also went back to my old channels and rewatched the eddsworld animations i made #all of them were horrible but. But i remember so vividly how much i had fun making most of these #Like just watching them made me smile cause it wss clear that younger me put all they had there #The feeling of just. Enjoying and having fun and being patient #And loving my work no matter the outcome is something ill never experience anymore #I love animating so much and it makes me so sad and heartbroken that it has been ruined for me because i was forced to turn it into profit #I wish i could experience it again #meteo rambles

[nomaishuttle]

ohh butter lass i do wanna play sdv

#I got a thang for taking notes IN THE GAME ! im rly liking jt.. its helping me cut down on paper #bc everytime i play sdv i end up making 5 lists every season #but now i only need likee 1 piece of paper.. si that i cn plan out my planting + harvest schedules #i like t decide th layout of my plots before i even start itis fun.. ive never done one in th formation im using rn :DD #i think i stopped on umm spring 15.. and everything wsngoing awwsome :DD #I RLY SRSLY CANT PLAY I HAVE WORK TMRW. BUT OGIGKHKH #its my first time Actually playing with mods.. i like dabbled a couple years ago but i got overwhelmed #n i have a Pretty good amt but theyre modtly judt little tweaks . AND SEASONAL OUTFITS :DD #its also my first time using a recolor and i rly like it :] im using vibrant pastoral recolor #but im using umm. the daisynikos eartly recolor for ui #i ws using it 4 everything Buttt i didnt rly like how much th interiors + houses got dulled down... #i am a little bummed bc i did love the idea of the map changing based on season.. BUT that wouldnt have worked anyway bc i have the umm #th one where it shows ppl on the map so u cn find them.. so th map is changed anyway #bummer tho. BUT i do love the vibrant pastoral bc it adds little seasonal decorations which i find saurr cute #n then im using seasonal outfits - slightly cuter aesthetic... i rly rly like it :]] #i like how umm. bc some seasonal outfits mods that ive seen just completely get rid of the villagers og outfit #and i dont rly like that sobsob.. so i like that th one i use keeps their ogs but just has them wear it during 1 specific season if that #makes sense :DD #basically mods mods mods i love mods...if anybody has any recs lmk :] #i lot of th mods r likee. for late game.. i got one t go on dates wth yr spouse which i think is so cute . n 1 to help customize the kids #I RLY WANTED th one that allows yr kids t Actually grow up n go t school #but th portraits that come with it r not at allll vanilla styled. so i couldnt... super upset abt it #but also well. it wouldve annoyed me if my kid grew up to be vincent and jas age while nobody else aged #i rly rly rly would love if somebody would add in like.. an aging mechanic #I GET WHY NOT BC THATD ACTUALLY BE SOOO MUCH. BUT YK.. #i havent ever actually gotten too far last year 3 bc it just gets so stagnant... #i also got umm. 2600 canon friendly dialogue expansion.. whatever that mods called #so im excited abt that :DD

[neige-leblanche]

It’s totally normal to not be with someone who has different ideas on wanting kids from you. I know people who never mentioned their feelings on kids till after marriage and it destroyed the relationship when it came out that one really wanted kids and the other really really didn’t. I could never be with someone who felt strongly about wanting kids, cause I’d either feel pressured to change my mind or feel bad I was holding them back from something they want

thank u :') its hard bc im like. mostly aromantic and the thought of going out to search for someone who does fit all my ideals is not something i can really picture myself ever doing; i suppose it hurts when one has special feelings that rarely ever happen but they're for someone with whom a lasting future isn't really feasible

#ask #this is tmi sorry it is 1 in the morning lmao #shes a dear friend that ive known for a long long time which is rare for me since im so introverted and adhd that i struggle to make friends #then keep them #idk i believe so deeply that she deserves to end up with someone good who loves her and treats her right #and since ive started seeing her romantically (w romantic feelings on and off) ive since built up the confidence to believe i could do it #but the truth is she really wants to settle down with a white picket fence in the countryside and live a quiet life #im far from opposed to living most parts of her dream but i rlly want to travel and maybe go to grad school abroad and i always. want to #have the Option to flip my whole life upside down at any time even if i doubt i'll ever be brave enough to try #as young adults she and i have both rlly liked working blue collar jobs but i think she mostly wishes she could do them to support something #more stable whereas i always liked that they were fun and temporary and people come and go and you have to fend for yourself #idk people dont rlly see me as a brave or spontaneous person and its not how i see myself #i guess im just a kid who hates the idea of locking my future into place

[pizzapizzadickz]

Hehe! I've had a really good birthday!!!

oh yeah. I need to update my profile!

#diary #personal #i had fun reading and relaxing. ive gotten a lot done lately and have been feeling well thanks to the help of coffee #...honestly i think thats my new miricle drug. #but yknow i feel super okay/good! idk. ive been having a lot of trouble lately but im just really happy today. #idk. i just love who i am i suppose? even with sensory issues pain and everything else going on i suppose. #idk. im excited to try and figure out what to do about it all tbh. havent felt like this for a while #im.still tired. and i really need help. but that coffee has been giving me enough energy to actual DO things #i havent been able to fold my laundry for months #barely able to even put in in the was tbh. #its been really rough. #really really rough. idk. i dont really share that part of things super often. being just exhausted and tired all the time #like. ive just had no energy to do anything. and if i force myself to it typically ends in a breakdown or something... #and if not im terrified ill push myself too far and cause one. haah. its very troublesome. #but. idk. its not something i really share bc i dont know how to explain or how others will.understand #unless its something youve experienced its not relatable. #its not really depression. its just. knowing your just one step away from being unable to do anything at all #and ive been teetering on that more and more lately. haah. this is why i was worried about working. #but. nothing wouldve changed even if i hadnt started. even on my best days ive always been one step away. #and to be honest its terrfying. im.scared in a way of living like this. #i love to learn. i have so much ambition. but it holds me back a lot. #to be honest ive been wondering if i need to get diagnosed with shit and go on disability #...but then i have days like this and its hard. because i know i cannot advocate for myself #haaah. how do you find all the resources for shit. translate your chinese to greek for everyone. and the energy to live? #you dont. thats why ive given up so so so many times before. but idk. i guess ive finally figured out that you can just pay someone #and idk. maybe im too hopeful in thinking that someone can organize my life for me until.i can? #this isnt even a joke. i wish it was. its terribly sad to be honest #i cant ask for help from my parents. and as much as i love my friend they have their own lives to live. #and honestly it really feels impossible to explain the depths of things like this to people sometimes. #thats sorta why i dont spend my money often unless i deem it nessisary. i dont know when i can earn more... haah. oh well.

[cibome]

.

#delete later #i went away to the mountains for the weekend and i had a lot of fun and i feel calm and relaxed from spending time in nature and hiking #we also went to see the starts it was so much fun #BUT #i went with my mom and her friends from work and its very exhausting for me to be expected to be sociable 24/4 i just cant do it #i cant be friendly and talkative around people i barely know for THREE DAYS #plus on the first night i accidentally broke my thumb ring which ive had for 3-4 years #i rotate it around my finger all the time to keep me concentrated it calms me down AND it also helps me reduce my skin picking #its not a big problem since i can just buy a new one (if they still have them which idk) but at the time when it broke ... #mind you i accidentally dropped it to the ground and it fragmented into like 20 bits it overwhelmed me so much i almost cried on the spot #im back home already which is good but im so EXHAUSTED emotionally and socially and im working all day tomorrow... #which means i wont be able to buy a new ring until tuesday when i usually cannot even leave the house without it on #rn it just feels so wrong i even feel a bit sick from not having it on #ITS JUST A FUCKING RING... why do i depend this much on a fucking ring idk #but like i had a lot of fun we saw lots of beautiful sceneries i have pics ill probs post them later #i took my reflex but i forgot to charge it or bring the charger so i could only take pics on the first and last day #also the hiking we did was in places that were kind of physically straining so i dont think bringing it wouldve been a good idea #RANT OVER if you read all the way to here i love you thanks for reading my stream of consciousness quite literally <3