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golden-afternoon · 12 days

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wahhh happy birthday Xiao!!! I wanted to finish writing this which I had sitting in my wips for a while now for his birthday but got really sad when I realized I wouldn't be able to get it done in time. Therefore the ending is suuuuper rushed and the whole thing is a little jank but I wanted to post it still even if it's not perfect. May revisit this later to fix it up a little!

Warnings - gn! reader, Xiao dealing with Xiao thoughts in his not exactly healthy ways, blowjobs n face fucking my favorites 😋, wet dreams, aaand I think that covers it?

Bitter.

Bitter was the taste usually lingering in his mouth. Bitter words waiting behind his lips, bitter bile at the back of his throat at best forgotten memories, bitter disdain as he swallows back his useless desires. The unpleasant flavor remains on his tongue most of the time, having come to accept it was simply another burden of his to bear.

How rare then was such a taste of sweetness?

Xiao swallowed thickly, almost on instinct to get rid of the unfamiliar sweet flavor that had begun to spread across his tongue, flooding his senses. His mouth felt incredibly dry and the action had done little to nothing to sate the urge to remove the offending taste.

So, so sweet.

It was so unbearably sweet, he wasn’t sure he could stand it.

So sweet was the sight before him, he could hardly wrap his head around it. The sight of you. You, there before him gazing up with those sweet, precious eyes of yours. You, so sweetly kneeling before him as though it were the most natural position in the world to be in. You, whose fingers delicately had been tracing along the hem of his pants, gently tugging at the silks that lie around his hips to set the fabric loose.

“What are you doing?”

The words left him, coming out in a low, biting tone, bitterness falling from his tongue with practiced ease. Yet, he made no effort to move away. He, the Vigilant Yaksha, the Conqueror of Demons, the great Alatus, was frozen in place like an animal caught by surprise in a field. His brows furrowed together he stared down at you, both trying to piece together the meaning of your behavior and why he had not moved yet. His heart was beating hard enough in his chest that he could hear the blood rushing around his ears in time with each beat.

Yet even with the sharpness of his words, you remained unfazed, simply smiling up at him with such tenderness, unaware that such a gaze made that sweet flavor flood across his tongue again, much to his growing unease. “You may try to lie to yourself Xiao, but it's clear as day to me that you need to spend some time relaxing.”

Even your voice was sweeter than anything he'd ever tasted. It made his stomach churn. No, not churn. That's not the right word. It was a lighter sensation than that. Almost… pleasant, even as it made him almost feel sick. A feeling slowly becoming more and more familiar to him the more time he had spent around you.

The adeptus was ripped from his hazy reverie as the gentle clink of metal hit the floor, followed almost immediately by those nimble fingers brushing against his hips as they gently began to pull down the last bit of fabric separating his shame from your eyes. His hands twitched with the impulse to shove you away, bitter guilt bordering on panic rising in his throat, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He swallowed again, his mouth just as dry as before as his golden eyes sharply watched every movement you made.

“What are you doing to me?” He asked, his normally cool and indifferent tone sinking into a slightly uneven rasp, shamefully hinting at how much you were affecting him.

Xiao felt heat wash over his face as a sweet laugh left your lips, leaving his question unanswered in favor of lowering the dark fabric further and further until his aching cock sprung free of its confines. A gloved hand instinctively lifted to his mouth to suppress the noise that came from him at the feeling, and even worse, the sight of your eyes being locked onto his already achingly hard shaft with such keen interest and fascination. If he hadn’t known any better, he would’ve been certain you were trying to kill him, what with how his heart was beating so hard it felt like it could burst at any moment. He ripped his eyes away from the painfully sweet sight, that strange flavor spreading across his tongue once more as saliva pooled in his mouth.

This was wrong. This shouldn’t be happening. He shouldn’t be allowing this in the first place! If he allowed you to do this, then all it would serve to do was hurt you in the end, he had no right to be so selfish-

A hitching gasp was ripped from his chest as he felt the softest sensation brush against the head of his cock. Sharp eyes immediately came right back to look down at you, his pupils dilating as he sees you with your lips still pressed to the tender, flushed skin in such a gentle little kiss. His dick twitched from the sweet sight, the motion making his sensitive skin lift away from those soft lips, giving him a brief moment of reprieve before it rested back into place, tapping against your mouth and effectively smearing a bit of the liquid leaking from him on those pretty lips, giving him such a shamefully lewd view that it drew a groan from him, unable to be muffled by his gloved hand.

Seeming to be encouraged by his reaction, he watched as your lips parted, that pretty pink tongue sliding out to lick up the mess he had left behind. A growled curse left him as he felt the sinful desires he’d been fending off came crashing in on him, nearly making his knees buckle under the weight of it. A soft hum of pleasure left your lips, seemingly enjoying his no doubt bitter taste. Surely that was just for show, he immediately assumed, slowly lowering his hand from his blushing face, only to instantaneously be proven wrong by your hands sliding onto his thighs for support as you leaned closer, drawing your warm tongue along his part of his length, lingering at the top to collect the rest of the clear fluid that had leaked out.

His restraint was wearing thin as the hand that had just been on his face now found itself settled on the back of your head, his gloved fingers curling loosely into your hair. Xiao remained silent for a moment, his face caught in a strained expression as he looked down at you, his golden eyes studying you with an intensity that he has found himself unable to hide any longer.

Your name left his lips quietly, the rasp of his voice barely audible above the steady rain coming down outside the open window. He began to card his fingers through your hair before managing his next words. “Do you really want to do this? If you keep going as you are, I may not be able to stop myself.” He warned in that same tone, wishing he had been able to speak louder, but he knew that if he had, it would have only made his voice waver.

Those sweet eyes stayed locked onto his as you processed the question, answering him with a smile and a playful little kiss to his head once more. “Then don’t stop yourself.”

Before he could have much time to comprehend those words, Xiao found himself curling his fingers into your hair with a grunt, nearly becoming winded from the feeling of his cock slowly be enveloped into the warm, wet heat of your mouth. Its not the first time in his long existence that he has experienced such intimate pleasures, but certainly it had been a very, very long time since he had even considered indulging himself in things like this. He’d spent so much of his time convincing himself he held no such desires, but here you were breaking down every wall he’d built with such ease.

Another growling curse left him as he felt his tip hit the back of your mouth, having brought a muffled little gagging noise to his ears. He shivered as the reflex simply made your throat tighten for a moment around the portion of him that had pressed towards your throat. That was enough to make him crack.

He adjusted his hold on your hair, curling his fingers in to maintain a firm, almost painful grip before he began to move, teeth sinking into his lip as he began to shift his hips. Vibrations from the sweet little yelp of surprise ran through his cock, only fueling him further in his aching need. Holding your head in place he couldn’t stop himself from dragging himself in and out along your tongue. Archons, you felt perfect. You let your jaw slack slightly to keep yourself from scraping your teeth along his shaft, encouraging him even more. His other hand, trembling slightly from it all, lifted to your flushed face, gently brushing aside and tucking away some loose hair that had fallen across your forehead, his pace never slowing down as those fingers join his other hand in holding you in place so he can keep you steady.

It was no longer a question of desire for him. He needed you. He needed you now more than ever and he had reached a point where he simply couldn’t hold back any longer. He began to push deeper, nudging his dripping head against the back of your mouth again, trying to gain purchase into your throat, but you couldn’t help but gag on his size. He frowned slightly, his eyes locked onto your dazed expression, lips sealed around as much of him as you thought you could take. A quiet grunt, followed by his lowered voice offering soothing words in the best way he could think to. “You can take it. Come on.”

Not the most reassuring thing to say, especially when this was immediately followed by his hands manually adjusting the angle of your head and simply shoving his shaft against your throat again, causing tears to well in those pretty eyes of yours as you gag on it again. Bitter guilt climbs the back of his own throat at the sight, but then he realized that you weren’t backing away at all. If anything, it seemed like you were trying to reach the same goal. Hands on his thighs to steady yourself, lips staying perfectly wrapped around his size, and even more, you kept trying to press closer, clearly seeing what he wanted and trying desperately to help him get there.

He breathed out another curse, the word faltering slightly as it rasped out, his hands grasping harder onto your head as he picked up his pace, thrusting harder and harder, fucking into your face until with one slick motion, he pushed past at last, your muscles loosening enough to allow himself to bury himself deep within your throat. Your nose pressed against his skin as he held you there for a moment, savoring the sweet feeling of you taking him in his entirety.

He let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding, the sound coming out like a hiss through bared teeth. This… this isn't right. So tight and slick around him, this amount of pleasure shouldn't be granted to someone like him. For a moment, even in his daze of pleasure, Xiao seriously considered pulling out, having become overwhelmed by it all, but then, he saw your eyes. Those pretty eyes that have haunted him far more than he cared to admit were now looking up at him in a way that made his heart nearly stop. Such a soft, overwhelmingly sweet gaze up at him through those long lashes of yours contrasted to the sinful sight of your nose bumping against his body, lips stretched around his aching length. All other thoughts immediately left his mind as he stared down at you with lips parted in awe. He may not deserve even a scrap of this amount of pleasure, but who was he to deny you whose eyes looked so positively needy. Gritting his teeth, he curled his fingers more into your hair, drawing a whine of slight pain from you, the sound almost entirely disappearing into his cock as he began to move again, fully intending to be slow and sweet, but perhaps rough desperation was just better suited to his natural bitter nature.

Gloved hands holding you in place he picked up speed, the slick sounds of your mouth and throat being used mingled with the sound of the rain, all of it rushing around to his ears and making his mind melt even more. Archons, he's not even sure how much longer he can last like this. He can see on your face that you're struggling to keep holding your breath but you keep letting him going, not pushing away in the slightest. The feeling of your thumbs lightly digging into his skin as you clung to him for support was nearly enough to send him over the edge.

He nearly growled out his words, wanting to at least warn you, “I think…. ah…. I think I'm at my limit…”

Xiao watched as those long lashes fluttered shut at his words, that sweet gaze disappearing in favor of close eyed focus and fervor, seeming to struggle to do your best to keep going, to hold on as long as you can to bring him over the edge. It drove him insane.

“Xiao!”

He was so lost in the sweet sensation, so close to the edge, he almost didn't hear the voice over the sound of the rain and the slick noises from below and-

“Adeptus Xiao!”

Xiao bolted upright in an instant, panting from the adrenaline as he struggled to gain his bearings, the sound of his blood rushing around his ears mingling with the gentle rain outside making his head spin.

He was… alone. And now rather uncomfortable in the sticky aftermath. Bitter guilt spread across his tongue and gripped at his heart, shaking hands reaching up to grab fistfuls of his own hair in frustration. How could he even think about you like that? Sure he was unconscious but he had absolutely no right to defile your sweet visage with something so selfish and wrong. He had no need for such desires. None whatsoever.

But he could hardly even convince himself of that when he realized it was your voice calling his name from the other side of his door, making him wonder with an ache deep in his chest if this was that bittersweet dream manifesting itself before him.

#sunny originals #a little bit of spice #genshin posting #xiao #xiao smut #xiao x reader #gwah i love him he wanted to come home to me so bad he arrived in the singular pull I had alloted for him #posting this before i get too nervous to

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devotion-disorder · 11 months

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Heya! this is the intro post!

About this blog:

this is where i post about DoL and any yandere content in general! but there may be unrelated stuff occasionally

there is NSFW + dark content (mostly noncon/dubcon/cnc) so follow at your discretion and MINORS / AGELESS BLOGS PLEASE DNI!! or else you will be blocked.

Commission info here!!

feel free to send asks!! I dont bite :D (please talk to me i am sad and lonely)

my main is @i-have-no-calcium because i am dumb and didn’t think this through LMAO if you see that acc pop up in your notifs rest assured it is me lol

Navigation:

#my art — doodles and drawings! or #sillydoods for doodles that are too silly to be in the art tag lol

#yandere oc — (new!) my silly ocs! or their individual tags, #Noel posting / #Kuuya posting

#ask — watch me come up with a silly dumb response for everything!

#text — my rambles and incoherent thoughts!

#art reblog — other people’s amazing art! check em out!! NOW.

#devotion.irl — gaze upon my physical form. if you dare.

Info about me (😳) under the cut:

Call me Audrey! or Devo, if thats easier to remember :p

my pronouns are she/they!

20 y.o. loser college student that doesnt go outside enough. if i ever stop being as active its probably cause college is beating my ass into the ground again

bisaxual........................ 👍💗💜💙

my zodiacs are Sagittarius sun, Capricorn Rising and Cancer moon :)

ive been told by my irls that apparently im applejack-coded. i dont watch mlp so i dont really know what that means but you can do with that what you will

I’m suuuuper shy both irl and online so I’m sorry that im not the best at interacting/ answering asks TT but im trying to get better at it!! I’d be very happy if you sent anything regardless and i’ll try my best to get to them!

thank you for reading up to this point ^_^ have a nice one! mwah

#intro post #pinned

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moonlightazriel · 1 year

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Traitor /// Azriel X F!Reader

Summary: "do you think that maybe you could do and azrielx reader where the reader is falsely accused of treason and azriel is super mad, but then realises that its not true and is like suuuuper sorry. I love your writing so much btw."

Warnings: Mentions of blood, angst, torture and etc..

Word Count: 3,5K

Notes: Does this request mean that she was accused of treason against her court or cheating on Azriel? I got kinda confused, if this is not what you meant by this request please let me know.

Main Masterlist

Azriel couldn’t believe his eyes, his heart shattering in his chest as he removed the hood covering her head, the face he loved to held between his hands, those eyes that would look at him with so much love, her hair was a mess and she had bruises all over her face, her eyebrow was split open, a black eye, and blood pouring out her nose. She didn't look at him in the eyes, she didn’t want to see the hurt in her lover’s eyes, it was too much to bear.

She had been delivered to him, with six other illyrians , the group was being accused of planning the murder of the high lord and lady, Azriel expected this from these males, but her? Conspiring against her own family, he felt sick, his heart dropping to his stomach, he looked away before he fainted, his mind tried to think about a motive, anything to justify this situation, and he had to hold his shadows on a leash so they wouldn’t rush to her, they yelled at him, about every wound covering her body.

“Why?” It was all he could say, his voice shaking with anxiety, even after everything he went through, this was the most painful of them all, he wanted to hold her, but even if he loved her with every fiber of his being, he was even more loyal to his brother and would never put him in danger, he knew better than that.

“Az.” She cried, the tears now streaming down her face and her voice creaking, he tried not to give in and grab her in his arms, he needed to wear the mask of the spymaster, the same he used to deal with traitors and criminals, she flinched as she saw his face changing, the dark expression covering his beautiful features, she was used with the harsh gaze but it was never directed to her, her heart started hammering against her rib cage, making it hard to breath. “It’s not what you think.”

“You have no idea of what i’m thinking.” He interrupted her, his voice cold and threatening, she breathed deeply, her head hurts and she tried to stop crying, she never thought that she would end up here, like this, her plan was easy, she didn’t expected that she would get caught before she finished it, she felt like an idiot. “So let me be clear, what i’m thinking is that my mate was conspiring against my brother, to kill him and his mate, for Mother knows what reason, and that she lied to my face pretending everything was okay.”

“I swear to you that i can explain everything, you just have to listen to me, it’s all i'm asking for.” He scoffed, he tried to hide his broken heart with anger, if he didn’t had closed his side of the bond, she would be able to feel the burning rage, confusion and especially the sadness he was feeling inside, he felt so hurt that he didn’t think he wanted to hear what she had to say, maybe he should ask Cassian or Rhys himself to take care of her. “If you will feel better, call Rhys over, so i can explain to him as well.” She knew him like the palm of her hand, and she would do everything to explain the situation and clean this mess.

He called his brother, he knew Rhys was just waiting somewhere in the Hewn City, he made sure to inform what was happening before getting to the interrogation. Rhysand stepped of the shadows, he's imponent figure faltering as he landed his eyes on Y/N, the same confused expression covered his face now, an eyebrow raised as he analyzed the scene.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, the whole thing was really odd and he had a bad feeling.

“She was caught among the traitors, she’s trying to give excuses.” Azriel stated and she looked at Rhys, silently pleading for his help.

“I’m not a traitor.” She breathed, her throat dry, she couldn’t remember the last time she had something to drink, sighing she closed her eyes.

“Let’s hear what she have to say then, by the end of it, i will be able to tell if she’s lying or not.” Rhysand spoke, his voice loud and powerful, he felt sorry for her, so he made sure that she was comfortable before starting her story.

2 weeks earlier

Rhys had sent her to a monthly checking in the illyrian camps that were far away in the northern parts of the Steppes, she just had one job, to make sure the females were training and the lord was following the rules, he thought that if the females saw a powerful illyrian, a true warrior like Y/N was, they would get the courage and be inspired to join the training, he knew she was more than capable to defend herself, she certainly was more skilled and stronger than any of them.

When Y/N got there, things were unusually normal, the females were training and even sparring with some of the males, something that she only learned later that it was a trick to distract her, she wasn’t able to find the camp’s lord, when she asked around no one had seen him, she felt immediately that something was wrong, she couldn’t point out what yet, but she would find out soon.

She decided to search for him in his house, the residence carved in the mountain, when she reached for the doorknob, the door swing open and suddenly the lord was in front of her, he was acting strange, trying to get her away from the house, she could only see a group reunited in the living room before the door closed and he dragged her away.

Darian, the lord of the camp, was being extra friendly with her, inviting her to their nightly feast and offering her a bed in the camp, she knew she should have been more careful and payed more attention, but she just accepted, the food was good and the wine tasted delicious, but as soon as she felt her limbs going numb and her eyelids heavy, begging to be closed she knew she was fucked.

When she woke up, her whole body hurt, her head was still spinning and she felt her stomach twisting, the urge to throw up too strong that she just had enough time to turn her head to the side before the food she ate saw the daylight again, she inspired heavy after she had finish, a sour taste in her mouth while she looked around, the cell she was locked on was nasty, she was laying on a dirty mattress, the cell smelled like rotten food and death, if she had anything in her stomach, she would have throw up again.

She waited a whole day for someone to show up, Darian’s footsteps were loud against the stone floor, he crouched in front of the cell door, a smirk on his lips while he looked at her.

“I’m sorry that you’re being held in a such disgusting place, but we need you, you will help us to kill the high lord.” Y/N laughed at him.

“You’re more insane than i thought if you think i would do such a thing.” She rolled her eyes at the pathetic male.

“It’s not like your going to have a choice darling, i don’t think you quite understood me.” He got up, walking to another cell on the other side of the room. “Wake up sweetie.” He said, slamming his hands on the iron bars, she noticed the two bodies laying on the floor, her heart almost stop completely as she recognized the two figures, her whole body went still as her sister Maze and Easton, her nephew looked at her, they had fading bruises, she wondered how many days they were being held hostage in this hole. “If you don’t kill Rhysand and his whore, i will kill your precious sister, you thought that you could keep her hidden? Poor you.” He laughed and walked away.

She cried as she apologized to her sister, her heart breaking at the scene, Maze tried to comfort her sister, she knew that it wasn’t Y/N’s fault, she couldn’t be blamed by the cruelty the Illyrian males seemed to have within them. She promised to Maze that she would do everything in her power to set her free and to punish those who dared to inflict pain on her family, she knew she had to dance with them if she wanted to keep her sister alive.

They set her free two days later, she was being sent back to gather information, anything she could do to help them, they wanted to know where the high lord would be, with who, doing what and when, they were preparing an ambush for him, she knew they had someone keeping an eye on her, to make sure she did her part, so she pretended that everything was okay, she pretended to gather information and made sure to have public conversations so they would know that she was collaborating.

She tried to tell Azriel, but every time he asked why she was acting strange, the terrified faces of her family crossed her mind while Darian’s word ringed in her head, promising that if she told anyone, he would kill her sister and would sent both of their hearts to her as a gift, so she just kept quiet, saying she was tired and he shouldn't worry about her, it broke her heart having to lie to him, but she was in a delicate situation, she had to filter everything that she sent down the bond to make sure he wouldn't notice her fear and desperation, it was the hardest part.

She got back to the camp, 1 week later, Darian was waiting for her with a wicked grin and his guards were behind him, she felt defeated, her heart was completely broken and her spirit was almost as damaged as her heart, she didn’t know for how long she could keep doing this before breaking entirely.

“You’ve been a really good girl.” He clapped and she felt the bile rising in her mouth, ready to throw up on this disgusting male. “But we just come up with a even better idea, I’m sure your going to love this one.” He said, his hands flickering in the air and his guards moved, she didn’t had the strength to fight anymore, this could cost her sister’s life, so she just let them hand cuff her, and walked with them silently, once she was locked in that cell again, he spoke. “Your fucking mate will be devastated if he saw that his precious slut is working against her family, so devastated that he won’t even seek revenge once his brother is gone. All the information you gave was helpful and now we don’t need you anymore.” He turned around ready to leave, his voice distant as he commanded. “Now let the party begin.”

They would go down there every day to beat her up, she closed her end of the bond so Azriel wouldn’t feel her pain and her hopes dying every day, at least they left her sister and nephew alone, ever since they started torturing her, they wouldn’t rise a finger against her sister and for that she was glad. Maze tried to reassure Y/N, telling her that they would get out of there soon, but as time went on she was starting to doubt her own words.

When they got her out of the cell, she felt weak, dehydrated and dizzy, she hadn’t anything to eat or drink in three days, she was fighting to stay awake while they dropped her on the ground, Darian was looking at her, she noticed the other six figures also laying on the ground with her.

“It’s the big day honey, time for you to shine.” She didn't understand what he meant, but as soon as the kicking and punching started, she knew that they would deliver her to Azriel as a traitor, all she could think was what this would do to her mate, she knew this would break him beyond the point of repair, she tried to fight, tried to escape for him but it was useless, when she woke up again, everything was black, she felt her body being moved and the sound of water, the smell was pungent and it reeked of sadness and regret, she knew exactly where she was. She was in the interrogation chambers underneath the Court of Nightmares, she was in her mate's hands.

Present

Rhys handed her the cup of water, which she sipped greedily, the liquid soothing her sore throat, she felt like she was going to black out but she couldn’t help as she kept pushing the water down. Azriel felt conflicted, he had his mate telling him that she was forced to do it but he also had letters from her, he would recognize her calligraphy anywhere, the sensitive information about Rhysand and Feyre, he didn’t know if they were true information, he felt his heart split in two, the wanting to believe her burning stronger in his chest than the doubts in his head. He waited for his brother, if all she said was true, Rhys would know, he didn’t dare to say a thing while he looked at the two, he knew that he was looking in her mind, his Daemati powers were a blessing in times like this.

The chains dissipated in thin air as she sobbed relieved, she let her mind open, inviting Rhys in, allowing him to see everything he pleased, she didn’t have anything to hide from him, and he felt her pain and her loneliness as she dealt with that alone, he walked over to her, helping her stand and hugged her, his hands gently holding her, afraid that she would break. It was in this moment that Azriel knew he fucked up, that he should’ve believed his mate, as she cried hard in another male’s arms, he didn’t know what to say or do to make up for her, the guilty starting to spread in his mind like poison.

He approached them shyly, his feet barely making any noise as he walked, his hand touching the high lord’s shoulder and he turned to face Azriel, he silently handed Y/N to him, Azriel wrapped his arms around her, and she buried her face even deeper in his chest, sobbing louder as her crying got more hysterical, she felt like she disappointed her mate, and that, was too much for her.

“Az, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, I didn’t know what to do.” She cried, her voice strangled and weird, he grabbed her even close and felt his own tears gathering in his eyes at the sight of his broken mate, he didn’t noticed Rhysand disappearing behind him, the high lord was going to fix this while Azriel would try to fix his Y/N.

“You don’t have to apologize, you were just trying to protect you family, I’m the only that should be sorry, for doubting you.” He said, his voice a whisper while he tried to hold his own emotions, he needed to be strong for her. “Let’s get out of here, you should see a healer.” He then winnowed them both back to Velaris, he got her straight to the healers hall, so Madja could check on her. He stayed glued to her side as she slept, Madja administrating a sleeping potion to make her rest, she had two broken ribs and was severely dehydrated, he felt his mind getting a little calmer as he watched her peacefully sleeping, the bruising slowly starting to fade.

When Rhysand showed up again, he was holding a female and Cassian was behind him, with a child in his arms, Madja quickly made sure to take care of Maze and Easton, as Azriel dismissed his brothers, saying it was his fault and he should be to one to look after them, Rhys tried to argue, saying that it wasn’t his fault but his words fell on deaf ears.

The healers would come two times a day to make sure they were fine, Azriel had not left her side, only when Cassian dragged him home, to at least shower. He felt terrible leaving her there, his body claimed to be with her, wanting to be by her side when she woke up. He was heading to bed when he felt something pulling in his chest, he knew what that meant, he rushed to the opposite direction, flying off the balcony to get to the healers hall as fast as possible, his wings flapping faster and the wind whipping his face, he didn’t care about his state when he landed, rushing through the doors.

She was awake, her body felt numb and she felt slightly confused, her mind foggy as she tried to piece things together, when he brushed through the doors, everything came crashing down, every memory and dark feeling that made her chest heavy, she looked away, feeling ashamed to look him in the eyes, his heart broke a little more at her fragile state. . Her eyes landed on the sleeping bodies, her family safe once more, she tried to contain the silent tears but it was useless, she felt so tired and defeated, she felt him grabbing her hand, her head slowly turning to her mate. She didn’t find in herself any reason to blame him, she was acting suspicious for days, she knew he had the letters that she sent to them, why would he think differently from what was being shown to him? Azriel was about to open his mouth when she shut him.

“If your going to apologize, there’s no need. I understand that you were led to believe I was a traitor, they did the same to me, but I need you right now, I need my mate, and I know your going to blame yourself, so please don’t, if someone should be blamed, It’s Darian and his camp.” Azriel pondered her words, hearing them brought a weird relief to his heart, he knew that things wouldn’t be easily fixed right away, but she needed him and he wanted to be there for her.

“He’s being held on the same filthy cell he locked you, Rhysand is waiting for you to decide what you want to do with him.” She knew that this was coming, of course he would give the decision to her, and for that, she was grateful. She didn’t know if killing him would do anything for her, but she knew that would make her sister feel safe, and she would do everything in her power to make sure that her family was safe.

3 days later

When Rhysand got to the healers hall to visit Y/N, he offered to her sister to just erase this tragic moment from her life, she didn’t accept, she wanted to remember everything that she gone through but for Easton, she chose to make him forget, he was to young to have to deal with such a thing, he also offered her a new start, a life in the Dawn Court, she gladly accepted, needing a fresh start somewhere else, Maze made Y/N promise to her that she would forgive herself, it wasn’t fair that they just kept taking things from them, Y/N hugged Maze with all her strength, telling her how much she loved her and how she was proud of her big sister. She had told Maze about her decision against Darian, and all Maze did was nod her head and tell her to “Make him pay”.

Y/N got shivers all over her body when she and Azriel landed in the camp, she looked around, the field now empty, it was like a ghost town, tents everywhere but no one to live in them, Azriel held her close as he walked her to the cells block. She held her breath as she got there, the smell of blood even worse than she remembered, her hands shaking as she stopped in front of the same cell she was held hostage just a few days ago. Darian was severely injured but still alive, his eyes looked at her, the sarcastic gaze long gone while he started to plead for her to have mercy on him.

“You weren’t merciful when you tortured my sister or my nephew, a mere child, you weren’t merciful when you forced me to work against my family and lie to them, there’s no need for me to show you any mercy, you don’t deserve it.” She finished, extending her hand to Azriel, where he softly placed truth teller, the cold blade freezing in her hand, holding it tightly, in one move, a clean cut in his throat, his body collapsed on the ground, blood pouring out of him like water, cleaning the dagger, she handed it back to its owner and turned away. Ready to leave this nightmare behind, with her mate glued on her side.

#acotar #azriel #azriel x reader #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x y/n #shadowsinger #night court #velaris #sarahjmaas #angst #moonlightazriel #rhysand #cassian

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bbyurnogoodforme · 8 months

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Some of my safe foods/meals just for myself to keep track of!

Popcorn! Air popped without any butter or salt is around 30 cals per cup! unseasoned popcorn just tastes better than popcorn with butter imo <3

Sugar free gum bc duh! I really like the watermelon flavored gums cuz they taste soso good and they fill my sweet tooth!

These low cal cookies! 50 cals each, love baking these and pairing them with black coffee <3

Cauliflower rice! 27 cals per cup, and super filling! I dont usually eat it by itself, I like to mix it with some protein or veggies!

Rice cakes bc you know the drill, 35 cals each yum yum, I usually pair plain rice cakes with greek yogurt and a few of these stevia-sweetened dark chocolate chips!

Diet Arizona Green Tea! Tbh just any diet drinks, but this ones a personal fan fav! 0 cals, as all drinks should be <3

Shirataki noodles! Tons of fiber, only 5 cals, and filling! Make sure to look up a good way to prep them! I usually boil and stir fry them before eating them!

Boiled eggs! 78 cals each, but still super good for you <3

Teas, teas, and more teas! Theres a tea for everything from metabolism speeding to sleep aid, drink some tea!

Greek Yogurt! This isn't a revelation I've figured out by myself ofc but still! 100 cals per cup, and super healthy! Plus its a great substitute in a lot of cooking!!!!

Canaloupe! 19 calories for a WHOLE wedge! A whole medium sized canaloupe is 180 cals!

Pickles! 7 cals each and suuuuper yummy imo <3 cucumbers are also a major safe food of mine I have them almost every day for a snack!

Soup!!!!! Tomato soup has around 80-100 cals for a whole bowl and its so yummy imo!!!!

Casabella peppers! (yall know those little peppers at in-n-out?) 10 cals each, literally any peppers are my favs, but my friends love to go to in-n-out together with me and I always love getting a diet coke and some casabellas to munch on <3

Chicken! Just in general! 120 for a whole chicken breast is the best thing ever <3

Almond milk! I've always been lactose sensitive so I've never genuinely had regular milk, plus almond milk is 30 cals per cup and full of calcium which is super important for hair and nails!

Miso Soup! My dad's made this stuff for me since I was a wee little kid, its just one of my favorite foods, period! When i found out it was only 50 cals per cup I was absolutely THRILLED

Healthy Choice power bowl microwaved meals. Oh my goodness absolute godsend! 170 for a whole DINNER!!!! Super filling, high protein, literally just put it in the microwave and bam omgggg its so nice to have these when I need them <3

Strawberries, Watermelon, blueberries! Oh my! <3

Low cal versions of my favorite meals! I've been experimenting with a bunch of low calorie recipes of different stuff and they've all been great! If you like cooking, it can be a great way to keep busy and keep with your goals! My favs so far are low cal pancakes, low cal tortilla wraps, low cal margarita pizza, etc!

I'll add more as I discover more! Stay safe <3

#tw ed #tw disordered eating #ed not sherran #foodspo #mealspo #mealsp0 #safe f00d #safe foods #rice cake nation

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dudeyuri · 9 months

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okay @aikinn's tags on this patpran only friends au post need to be addressed immediately so i reposted them below and just formatted into paragraphs for readability. building the #patpran OF au tag on my blog bc i guess that's where i live right now. thank you @aikinn if you'd rather make this post yourself PLS let me know because i will delete this and reblog it to my heart

#suuuuper early on in the game Pran making some little teasing comment about how he clearly has more game than Pat #and Pat responding that thats impossible. He's pulled both times they've been together #and he hasnt seen Pran even *talk* to a girl let alone kiss one #and Pran is drunk and bold and steps in reaaal close and boops Pats nose and tells him to pay attention #and Pat gets left behind at the bar jaw agape nursing his beer as Pran walks up to the third hottest guy in the bar #(in Pat's humble opinion) #-and proceeds to lay it on thick. #And the guy?? responds?? he looks up (up?!) at Pran like he wants to eat him alive and Pat *burns*

#Pran is barely doing anything but existing and smiling with those goddamn dimples and the mystery guy looks ready to fall to his knees. #and Pat is watching and watching and willing Pran to look back at him just once. just once but he doesn't #And the guy looks up at Pran with a question and Pran leans in close to whisper something in his ear #and Pat watches the other man's eyes go dark as Pran puts his hand on the small of his back and guides the man outside #and Pat shouldnt follow #he should go back to his friends or find someone to talk to or something or something or something but his feet move without his permission #and he's holding his breath in silence watching the silhouette of neat-freak selfcontrolled Pran losing his composure in a dirty back alley

#Pran makes a kind of soft stuttered noise in his throat that Pat hears in his head on repeat for days and days and days #and next time Pat sees him at the bar he lies and says he got with some girl who's name he cant remember #and Pran teases him saying that it proves nothing. cause Pat's playing on easy mode. #there are 20 straight girls for each gay guy so Pran is still winning and Pat blurts out that Pran should teach him... so that its even. #Pat freely admits that he's never seduced a man but that doesnt mean he couldnt do it better than Pran could. he just needs to know how. so #teach him. #and Pran raises an eyebrow at first but then his eyes go very very dark. and Pat would do anything to keep Pran's attention on him like that #and he lets Pran run his fingertips up his arms. He takes the long drink of beer from the same bottle Prans mouth was on moments before. #He lets Pran back him into a shadowy corner. Lets those fingertips slip under the hem of his shirt. Trace along the waistband of his jeans #He lets Pran press up against him and find him hard and wanting and bares his throat at the feel of Pran's breath #and Pran whispers ''lesson's over Pat.''

#LESSON'S OVER???? HE WOULD #bad buddy #patpran OF au #i have been playing with the idea of pat learning pran is into men being a sort of revelation for him personally in another wip i have #so this is up my alley SO UNBELIEVABLY SO #i think pat would come back next time with renewed confidence and vengeance on his mind...#because we know he strikes out plenty but we also know his charm absolutely 100% works on pran #also #pat: people fall for my charm all the time #pran: please. you have no game you just rely on your looks #pat: oh? you think i'm hot?#pran: regretting opening his mouth

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nattousan · 2 years

Text

DnD OC commission

Sir Wigglesworth came across the grimoire at the bottom of a very bizzarely decorated pit in the middle of ancient temple. He didn't know who thought covering the floor in long spikes was a good idea but judging from the dusty skeleton skewered on a spike next to the book, they didn't have hospitality in mind.

But just his luck! The sorcerer had uncovered a Tome of Seeking! This rare book was said to guide its user right to whatever what written down on its pages. Perfect for a plucky adventurer such as himself as he often got lost. And it worked! Immediately after writing "treasure" a ghostly hand rose from the book, pausing as if to take in its surroundings before drawing a ragged clawed thumb across the birds throat. Then, it simply pointed north and the penguin was off. He didnt understand the gesture but he was sure it was fine!

Months later at a jewelers guild house, the head jeweler was inspecting some knockoff jade when a kenku mage waddled in with what had to be the the biggest emerald he'd ever seen in his life. The jade lept to the floor with the force of the emeralds weight landing on the table. The jeweler stared down at it slack jawed.

"How much for the big rock mister?" the penguin asked.

The jeweler gawped a moment longer before he registered the question.

Uh, lets see, we would have to weigh it to get it asse- hey where'd you get this, if you don't mind?"

"Oh this? I found it! It was suuuuper dark and there were lots of twisty turny hallways and even a doggy! But I'm a super strong mage so I got through it no problem and found this! He slapped a flipper proudly on the stone, beaming like he'd just won first prize at harvest's end festival.

The jeweler paled. There was an ancient underground labyrinth on the outskirts of the town that not even the kings men would enter. An insatiable creature paced its halls and liked to toy with anyone foolish enough to enter, cutting their rope and leading them deeper and deeper into the maze before devouring them in shreds. Fortunately most never even got to meet the beast, the traps were so frequent and deadly.

Adjusting his glasses, the jeweler peered closer at the lad, who was absolutely glowing with pride. His glasses were in chanted to detect magical signals and sure enough, the emerald was wreathed in the same blood red aura that emanated from the entrance of the maze. What concerned him more was the massive cloud of yellowish malevolent haze that was pouring out from the tome strapped to the kenku's hip. It was practically screaming malice so pure with rage it vibrated the air.

Sir Wigglesworth smiled obliviously. "So how much ya thinkin?"

The Jeweler swallowed. "Ah yes well, I may need a second opinion..."

#my art #OG post #illustration #DnD #Kenku #storytelling #commission

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heartsoji · 10 months

Note

Congratulations on 700 <3 !! You deserve the world (づ๑•ᴗ•๑)づ♡

For your event (bllk match up please):

Name: Kou

Hair colour black, eye colour dark brown

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Pan (I think)

Interests: I really love volleyball (never got to learn properly or compete due to numbers and having no where near me to learn), origami, reading, writing, badminton, psychology and business studies (anything commerce related really).

Important part of myself: I'd say that it's how I'm able to learn a lot by myself? I self taught myself badminton and was able to beat people who had been playing for years. Volleyball I taught myself as well and I've done well during the practice games (if we ignore spiking and serving lol). The same applies to academics since I teach myself most of the content and get good grades. Other than that I'm not too sure

this rq was here before i put the 'general characteristics' down so i had to send a pm asking 😭 "I'm quiet and pretty calm, I'd also say I'm observant (like I notice and remember a lot of random details about others). I can sound a bit rude at times because I'm blunt, but I really care about the people around me. I can end up saying really offensive stuff too out of pure anger (it's always in retaliation but it goes too far a lot-)"

I MATCH YOU UP WITH...

KUNIGAMI RENSUKE! "because i'm going to be a football hero"

i figured that you wouldnt want someone super over-the-top bubbly like bachira, but i thought that a happy, honest-hearted guy would work well

now listen

kunigami is suuuuper patient and despite his "play fair. play by the rules" attitude, he knows when you're joking and when you're not. hes also super lighthearted (when it comes to non-football things)

meaning that he'll laugh (off or at depending) your harsh jokes, but he will also keep you in line when you cross a boundary

"hey. not nice." typa thing if you go too far (i thought someone bitchy like rin who would retaliate for fun but get offended and spit back smth bitchy when it went too far would end up being toxic)

HE THINKS ITS SO COOL HOW TALENTED AND SELF-RELIANT YOU ARE

YOU TAUGHT YOURSELF BADMINTON?? THATS SO COOL WHAT

he'd try to play with you and i could see him having the power, but not exactly the control

look he's a lower body (well actually look at the gif but anyways) kinda guy. the control is in his feet, not in his (RIPPED ASF) arms

i actually see him, however, being really good at like sand volleyball

he'd go to the beach and play around with his friends with his shirt off as everyone just OGLES him

(lol he has an s/o - you)

because you never really had a way to learn, he'd try to teach you good hitting form and stuff bc idk he gives off "i had a very good father figure" typa vibes?? BITCH IDK

kunigami isn't super intellectual, but he's a good listener and a quick learner. he'd rly like it if u taught him the material that he couldn't grasp within the 40 minutes of class!

if u remembered smth cool abt him, he'd cry. fin. LMFAOOO

"yea, i remembered u like these candies" *big silence before big tears and big hug and big spinning-u-around-in-a-bear-hug-until-ur-ribs-crack-and-ur-so-dizzy-u-cant-see*

anyways, he just thinks ur so cool and is HEAD. OVER. HEELS.

event is closed!

#IM SO SORRY 😭#THIS IS ACTUALLY AWFUL ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY #UM.#I FEEL SM SHAME PUTTING THIS OUT INTO THE WORLD #ITS NOT EVEN“oh idr like this much and im not proud of it”#ITS “SHIT IS THIS MY FIRST DAY ON TUMBLR”#I AM SO SO SORRY #but tbh this event started like last month and i went away w/o saying anything for a while so i felt like i needed to put smth out #quality > quantity yes but like i had to do smth THE GUILT WAS EATING ME UP #heartsoji.700 #kunigami x reader #blue lock x reader #kunigami fluff #kunigami imagines #but yea #i am so unbelievably sorry rn #maybe ill redo this sometime #js for the redemption arc

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teaandsconeswrites · 5 months

Note

while we wait for the next update of ATSGUTM, do you have any fic recs? ;^;

I'm not super up to date on the current longfics out there as I'm mainly reading oneshots in fandom at the moment and focusing on reading published novels, so you've probably already read these as they're a little older, but these are some of my faves:

The White Cicada Society by clementinesgulag - My favourite current ongoing fic. It's just fantastic. Amazing atmosphere, plot keeps you on your toes. It's generally dark (it's a supernatural murder mystery, after all) and I love the gritty atmosphere. Childe and Zhongli's relationship after they get together is an absolute delight, too. Their chemistry is off the charts.

yesterday upon the stairs by air_fried_air - Zhongli makes a deal with Celestia and is cursed to be written out of history, with no one able to remember him. The MCD isn't really part of the plot - it's reincarnation so Tartaglia dies at the start and Zhongli meets Ajax later on. Happy ending, suuuuper underrated fic that deserves way more views.

An age of gods and monsters by Bookish_penguin - Time travel. Childe travels back in time to fetch Zhongli's gnosis to save them from a crisis in the present. A trip through the history of Liyue, with Childe as its witness (and lover to the Archon).

All the Stains of Time by vahveroinen - Not a longfic, but a gorgeous twoshot with the war against Celestia and Childe overusing his Delusion.

BONUS!

do not feed the ducks. (unless they are secretly hot men in disguise. in which case you may proceed.) by daycinthe - In which Zhongli is a duck, and Childe is the man running the lemonade stand. If you grew up in the age of the Duck Song with that wonderful little duck and the lemonade stand, I need say no more.

#tea'sasks

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sanguinesocierie · 1 month

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˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ meet the mun.

ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜʀʀᴇɴᴛ ᴍᴜꜱᴇ(ꜱ) ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ? i have a type, i think. usually healer types, gentle characters & etc. fina is actually the wild card that i was suuuuper scared to put out on tumblr for a long time. i had never written a villainous type of character before but i adore the tropes associated with her, so why not? & the reception has been so nice ... it makes me so incredibly happy.

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ? i'm cool with a lot of plots so long as they're NOT related to racism & excessive violence towards women or themes of SA. the latter is a broad spectrum too, so just ... no. i want nothing of it. though to be honest, i don't know many who WOULD want a part of that.

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ? ALL OF IT. especially dark, gothic settings.

ʜᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ? oh it all depends. things come up at the most random intervals. i could be shopping & something hits me. or reading a thing that reminds me of fina, for example. music always helps.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ɪɴ ꜱɪʟᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴏʀ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴍᴜꜱɪᴄ? actually, i listen to youtubers play games or reviews. my man, AVGN is my comfort.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇᴘʟɪᴇꜱ ᴏʀ ᴡɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇᴍ? wing it, all the way. if i get the inspiration, i become a speed writer.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ꜱʜɪᴘᴘɪɴɢ? * KOOL AID MAN CRASH THROUGH WALL* o hhhhhh yeahhhh.

ᴡʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀʟɪᴀꜱ/ɴᴀᴍᴇ? enjee ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

ᴀɢᴇ? twenty-seven

ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ? november 5th

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ᴄᴏʟᴏʀ(ꜱ)? rose pink, sapphire blue, lilac, seafoam green

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴏɴɢ(ꜱ)? there's too many but right now : vampire DECO*27 ( hatsune miku )

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ? ummmm... fucking Twilight. @brokeniisms thanks bebby lol

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ? house of the dragon

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱᴏɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪꜱᴛᴇɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ? pokedance ( its so unbearably cute )

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜰᴏᴏᴅ? strawberry cheesecake

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ? winter

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ? oh ... so many. you're all adored. deeply.

tagged by : STOLEN. HEHEHHH~!

#🦇 — * ooc.#🦇 — * dash games.

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taikanyohou · 2 years

Note

Does Vegas genuinely have a crush on Porsche or is it manipulation stemming from his Dad's instructions? Also I love how Vegas sees Pete as nothing more than a harmless guy sent by Kinn to follow him, a cute nuisance, little does he know👀

hiiii anon!!!!! i think its an infatuation. in the way that vegas is infatuated and lusts for power. see, he may Think that he has some ~feelings~ for porsche, but i think deep down, its heavily laced with his need to show/have/exert power and get one over kinn. in the novel, vegas' inferiority complex up against kinn is very neatly discussed, so i take it as that. of course, vegas is a master manipulator, and its so ........ oh so Convenient, isnt it, that WHENEVER porsche is down, vegas just Happens to be there to pick up the bits and take advantage. and he knows his ~sob tragic backstory~ will work on porsche to get porsche onside. because thats what its always been about with vegasporsche: to get porsche onside.

so yeah. maybe on the surface, there are some tender little feelings, but its where they stem from, and it all stems from having what kinn has. IF the show goes by what the novel did and we do get pete to see what Clips vegas has on his computer, and if they ARE the clips that they should be like they were in the novel, then my take will be even more solidified, that in fact, pursuing porsche is just for a power trip to get one on kinn. to have what he has.

but yeah. with pete, its a Very different story. and i think vegas is just highly amused that Pete is the one spying on him when both he AND pete himself know how shit of a job he's doing at it, and yet, he still does it out of duty dhfjsid. and i think vegas just finds that cute and funny, but i think he also lowkey admires pete's relentless efforts and he somewhat .... admires how honestly and viscerally pete's body reacts to him. he somewhat likes how much of an open book pete is to read, how easy it is to read pete, how much of an innocent little lamb he is. and yet he's the only one who can stomach his darkness.

and speaking of pete's relentlessness. i hope its a trait that stays when vegaspete Really get going. that vegas becomes attracted to pete's relentlessness and how stubborn and resilient he is towards vegas, later on. that he won't back down from vegas. i waaaanntttt vegas to go INSANE over that.

and so its suuuuper .... interesting that, pete himself in ep 10 says that HE will go to vegas' place, despite knowing what that means. yeah its a duty, but this time no one's placed him to do it, he himself has chosen to do it. and so, you gotta reap what you sow, right? and i think pete knows the risk and the consequence and that if this goes pear shaped, the aftermath won't be great. but i dont think he in his wildest dreams would have guessed the extent to how dark vegas' abyss is.

and yettttttt. he cannot look away!!! pete cannot look away from vegas!!!!!!! and i bet you that pete himself never in his wildest dreams would have ever known about the depth of his own desires, to which he'll become so aware of. and THAT ... what THAT in turn does to vegas ...... is where the real deal lies.

and so it Thoroughly entertains me and feeds my soul that vegaspete are That Couple who'll in one breath be together in an act of worship and talk about devoting themselves to one another to meet in the next life, and then in the next breath, they'll be tearing each other apart and ruining each other and awakening a lust and desire so deep within them both that was untouched for this long, that has Nothing to do with Getting One Over Kinn or the family politics or anything else. its just all stemming from their own pure carnal feelings for one another.

so yeah. im tryna think of analogy here to explain my thoughts. ig religion is the easiest one, and one i Love for personal reasons but also bc the show itself is using it too.

i think to vegas, porsche = infatuation. porsche represents all the power and dominance that vegas wants. the wordly stuff. the materialistic stuff. that no matter how much you have of it, it still doesnt fill that void. pete = devotion. pete will go on to represent everything within vegas that was once a void but has now been filled. a true spiritual shift that he cant live without. where vegas can be wholly himself, both good and bad, and find some form of peace and completeness from, whilst still being accepted for who he is and staying true to himself.

#faiza answers #vegaspete #something something about porsche in jail representing all the ~bad choices~ and pete in the temple representing the ~good choices~. YEAH.

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dollsome-does-tumblr · 1 year

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Fanfiction of 2022 - Year in Review!

I like to do this every year just so it feels like I really got up to something. :D

Total number of completed stories: 13! (Er, if you count the one chapter of a Jane Eyre rewrite I posted for some reason in a fit of writer’s block madness. Which I shouldn’t, because it’s not complete. But I will anyway!)

Total Word Count: 32,000

Fandoms Written In: Jurassic Park, Killing Eve, Our Flag Means Death, Ted Lasso, Glass Onion, and Jane Eyre

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected?: More, because this was a stressful personal year and I truly didn’t expect to write any at all. At the start of the year I was like, “You know what? This is just never gonna happen and that’s okay.” But I still busted some out when the fangirl inspiration overtook me, yay!

What’s your own favorite story of the year? I am torn between my Jurassic Park fic “and he feels like home”, my Ted Lasso fic “forget your troubles (come on, get happy)”, and my OFMD fic “my love a beacon in the night.” It’s a tie!

Did you take any writing risks this year? I participated in GrantlerFest with my Alan/Ellie fic “for me there is no other”, which I believe was the first time I’ve ever written a fic like that for a challenge in my 20+ year fanfic-writing career! I’m such a commitmentphobe when it comes to stuff like that, haha. And it wound up being a lot of fun! Year of Grantler, huzzah!

Do you have any fanfic or original fic goals for the new year? Fanfic: Just keep writing one-shots for fun when the spirit moves me! I do feel like I should write a Gilmore Girls fic this next year at some point just because it feels so weird that I didn’t in 2022.

Original fic: I have a few novel drafts I really want to get back to strengthening so I can do something with them; I feel like they deserve something better than just being an ignored file on my computer after the years of work I put into them! (Even though I’m really lazy and just letting them sit there forever is my natural impulse.) I also would potentially like to write a new novel project since it’s been a few years since my last. I think I’m going to try a comedy since I really want to hang out in silly land these days.

My Best-Written Story: I think my OFMD fic “my love a beacon in the night” is, because it was a long time coming and because I worked on it really hard for longer than I usually do with fic! I wanted to do an “Oh my God, what happens after season one, how could you possibly fix this” fic like right after s1 ended in March, but somehow it took like the rest of the year and five or so rewatches for me to reach the point where I could actually write about it.

Story Most Underappreciated by the Universe: Just based on my own sort of irrational personal feelings, I’d say the same story as above, “my love a beacon in the night”! I think because I posted it so long after season one aired, the fandom excitement has maybe kind of cooled somewhat. It was just one of those fics where I felt like I was really putting a lot of ideas into the writing (rather than a more standard, like, simple bantery cute fic), and I suuuuper passionately cared about all those ideas just because I am so crazy emotionally invested in Ed and Stede, so I was curious to find out what other fans of the show would think about it. However: I did still get incredibly kind comments on it and it was wonderful to read people’s thoughts! In my dream life its reach would’ve just been a bit further because I’m just, like, itchy for interaction about that fic.

Most Popular: Coming in and clobbering all competition right at the end of the year, my wee little Glass Onion coda “here’s another place you can be”! It’s definitely because I was in the right place at the right time with that one. Fandom kairos!

Before that for most of the year, it was my little Killing Eve post-finale fic “darkness bright” where Villanelle lives because WHY WOULDN’T VILLANELLE LIVE. The finale is a lie, and my tiny fanfiction is the TRUTH!

Most Fun: My Ted Lasso fic “forget your troubles (come on, get happy)” where Ted mistakenly thinks Rebecca and Beard are falling in love and has Problems with it, just because I was in a state of pure hyper romcom nonsense writing it and it was REALLY enjoyable. And the reception to it really left me over the moon!

Most Disappointing: I had a few fics that I wrote a lot of – my first attempt at a post-s1 OFMD one from back in March and a Ted Lasso one that was a sequel to my AU fic “i once was poison ivy” – that just didn’t quite come together enough to be completed. That was a bit odd for me because usually when I’ve written a few thousand words of something, that fact alone is enough to propel me to finish it and post it. But I just couldn’t quite get those ones to work! (Although I did reread the OFMD one recently and I actually thought it was pretty decent. So maybe one day I’ll try to dust it off with the disclaimer that it was written by someone whose psyche had just been entirely shattered by watching episodes 9 & 10 for the first time. I also think the Ted Lasso one probably has some good bits in it, but it was on the more melancholy side a lot of the time and I don’t think my writing works super well in the melancholy zone.)

Most Sexy: I don’t ever really write sexy stuff in the traditional sense, but I think my sexiest fic from 2022 is my post-Jurassic World Dominion Alan/Ellie fic “and he feels like home”, for the reason of: WHAT IS SEXIER THAN THEM FINALLY GETTING BACK TOGETHER AND HAVING A BLISSFUL TIME BECOMING EACH OTHER’S LIFE PARTNERS AGAIN AFTER NEARLY 3 DECADES? Nothing!!

Story With The Single Sweetest Moment: I am embarrassed to say that I have sort of a hard time picking because my fic all tends to hang out in the “and then there’s a sweet moment this has all been building toward!” zone. For the sake of brevity: I did really like the idea of Benoit Blanc being able to easily set aside the insane experiences in Glass Onion and say and genuinely mean “Wow, that’s amazing!” at Phillip finally successfully baking something. That is the original germ that grew the whole little story!

I also really liked how Ted professed his Feels to Rebecca in “forget your troubles (come on, get happy)”. That kinda snuck up on me.

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: I wrote a Killing Eve fic called “you’ll never leave me” (I’m not above pulling “Tell Me” lyrics for all Killing Eve fic titles!) that was meant to sort of explain WHY Eve and Villanelle were in such a different place at the start of season four than they were when season three ended, and it did help me to feel like I could imagine a smoother bridge between the two seasons based on what both of them had going on emotionally. Even though honestly, I think the writers of actual canon were just being lazy for no reason and that sucks. Sometimes you just gotta do the work yourself, SIGH!

Biggest Surprise: Listen, I thought there was no way I would ever write fanfic for the Knives Out franchise. What could have ever compelled me to?? The answer, it turns out: Hugh Grant. Dear God, maybe he is my blorbo.

Hardest to Write: I don’t usually stick with fanfic if it’s hard to write these days, since the stakes are so low; I think the hardest time I had was writing the post-party conversation between Ed and Stede in “my love a beacon in the night,” just because it was really long and complicated and I really wanted to get it right and pick up where they’d left off with all their issues in s1. I did a lot of rewriting and reading it to myself and really trying to be able to vividly imagine each beat. I’d say I am at least 95% satisfied with it. Yeah!!

Most Unintentionally Telling: I don’t remember if I was thinking about it at the time or not, but for the general experience in my lil’ Ed/Stede fic “comfort in a bedfellow’d state” and the buzzy feelings of new love, I pulled a lot from the early days of my own relationship one million years (or, well, one decade) ago. D’awww!

Also, I feel like the fact that I started the year trying to rewrite Jane Eyre from memory says a lot about the writer’s block I was wrestling with at the time. But that’s more intentionally telling. I feel so lucky that some inspiration came along and I was still able to have fun writing fic this year!

***

Here is my Works page on AO3 if anyone’s interested in checking out any of the stuff mentioned above!

#dollsome's deep thoughts #i write things!

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borreloadsavagedragon · 1 year

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alright tell all of us your thoughts about kaito :)

I did not forget… I have just been con crunching but now I’m free to become the worse

Minor Zexal and Arc V spoiling ahoy

How I feel about this character:

Oh no you’ve opened a floodgate… welcome to oversharing hour with Jay

I’m very normal about Kaito, just ignore the two full cosplays + the EVA foam Orbital work in progress I have mapped out, the wall scroll that’s at my work computer, my ita pin bag, and the fact that I’ve done everything I can to make his deck competitive viable and god dammit am I still trying please print this deck a god damn banger starter, Konami, I can’t keep doing this without your help-

Short story but I used to be suuuuper YGO Vrains favoring from 2020 into early 2022, but I found myself drifting from it because one can only tolerate so much subtweeting and catty behavior over personal preferences, and I’d never really finished Zexal before, just has a half baked idea how it ends, like I watched a chunk of it when it first aired but never finished and proceeded to forgot most of it, so I picked it back up after deciding to pick up Kaito to write in an RP server with some friends because I remembered liking him and… well I didn’t stand a chance when I got back to him fjdhdhd

I deeply relate to the theme of self-inflicted loneliness because it’s easier to be by yourself, just getting walked out on, left in the dark, or even being shafted for reasons out of my own control, I really get that

Also taking on too much if it means the people you love will be ok even if the ending result is you’re not ok, where he is after his Duel with Yuma at the end of Zexal I and getting to repair all of those relationships he was damaged by is where I want to get to in life

Bonus fact that’s minor spoilers for another spin off, but I’m… not a huge fan of his portrayal in Arc V, I like that he’s there and acknowledge that it’s a different Kaito and I love all Kaito Tenjos as they exist, including the Structures Cosplayer, but… yeah, not a fan, I’m a big fan of showing vs telling and Arc V to me feels like it’s ALL telling for all of its supporting cast most of the time

All the people I ship romantically

The better question is who I don’t honestly because that list is far smaller, but if I had to pick favorites I’m very partial to Ryouga, Mizael, and Edo-

Something about rivals to lovers resonates with my very being, even if Edo is less of a rival and more of an enemy until Arc V does it’s usual-

I’ve written for Challenge and AntiHero both already actually, my docs is 99% Challenge Wips that are slowly coming along tbh, and GalaxyMaster takes more time to write since most of those are… you know what I’m getting at LOL

I stg Gallop's one mission was to make Kaito Tenjo a dating sim protagonist because I have no other excuse for why they gave him so many boyfriends and even girlfriends across Zexal and Arc V, Yugioh’s surprising most eligible bachelor

My non-romantic OTP

nervous laughter

Chris.

I like to think of them more as divorcees who are just fine staying apart

Also gestures vaguely at the first answer

My unpopular opinion

I don’t know if I have many tbh, besides disliking Arc V’s rendition of him / not liking mentor at all lol— Like maybe how I genuinely believe he’s the strongest rival bc his record was the best even after he was put up against forces behind human understand and was even considered dying majority of the time of Zexal while remaining arguably mostly human, Zexal’s wack

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon

Oh my god, the duel I hate the most in all of YGO is Kaito’s duel against Heartland because not letting Kaito win against someone who’s become representative of the garbage he was put through is SO UNSATISFYING

Yuma coming in and finishing it up is symbolic in its own right because of the importance of bonds, but to me that was and always should have been Kaito’s moment, let Yuma and Astral show up literally any other time and I’m fine with it

ALSO WE DON'T GET THE RYOUGA AND KAITO GRUDGE MATCH, though Kaito solos everytime, I’m so sorry Ryouga

#just over sharing lmao #not gonna tag this anything specific #ted talks

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dreamerslovechaos · 10 months

Text

15 Mutuals 15 Questions!

Thank you so much to @bee-notes for tagging me!! I had a blast answering these questions!

No Pressure Taglist: @assorted-bean @mewsporridge @collector-of-fishes-souls @pinkhairandpronouns @astralunar @abiquail05 @villalunae @winterbear04 @aonogitsune @friendofthecrows @quails-and-whales @anxiousescapis @bird-bird-bird-bird @atombombtom @roachhman

Feel free to skip a few questions if you want!! No pressure at all, just a way to get to know y’all more :”)

Were you named after anyone?

No, I wasn’t! My first name was chosen by my mom and grandfather because they liked the way it sounded, and my middle name was chosen by my dad. Fun fact, my name translates to “Purity in Artistry”, which is a very rad and on-brand choice if I say so myself.

When was the last time you cried?

Hmm, probably day before yesterday? The past couple days have been sort of rough on me ngl

Do you have kids?

No, and I plan on keeping it that way. As much as I love kids and value them highly, I don’t think I’d be a very good parent for a variety of reasons.

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Yep. Mostly absurdist sarcasm. A lot of people have trouble understanding my sense of humour and tonal shifts. I like to be as weird as possible but I always underline it all with a stark deadpan tone.

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Hm, probably their hair? It’s always so interesting to see how someone’s natural hair and sense of style is reflective of their personality.

What’s your eye color?

Their chicory coloured orbs stared into my soul, speckled with streaks of g-

Nah, I’m kidding. They’re dark brown, so dark as to be mistaken for black. I’m rather proud of them.

Scary movies or happy endings?

I like bittersweetness. I like to be reminded that a story does not end, per se, due to its very nature as a story that can be re-experienced. All my favourite endings of all time deny the listeners/readers/watchers the catharsis of conclusion.

All that to say I don’t really mind any ending as long as it’s thematic, lol. Depends on what kind of story we’re talking about.

Any special talents?

Hmmmm not really anything special? I suppose my writing stands out as a skill, and so does my aptitude for public speaking. That’s about it. I’ve been meaning to learn more.

Where were you born?

I was born in a semi-metropolitan town in Tamil Nadu. It’s a really nice place, not very far off from my hometown.

What are your hobbies?

I like to read, write, sing sometimes? I used to play the guitar but I fell out of practice. Been meaning to pick it up again. Oh, and crochet! I recently learnt how to crochet and it’s been suuuuper fun.

Have any pets?

I’ve never been able to have a pet of my own because we kept moving very often, but my grandfather has a dog named Mothy! He’s a very hyperactive and exciteable boi. I love him a lot.

What sports do you play/have you played?

I used to play badminton back in school, and I was rather good at throwball too, but then I lost practice. I’m really out of shape and exercise due to a variety of reasons, lol. I’m gonna pick it back up when I go to college, hopefully.

How tall are you?

171 centimetres! That would be uhh 5′7′‘?

I’m the tallest of my friend group which is something that I love to hold over them. Not like they can reach it anyway.

Favorite subject in school?

English! This comes as absolutely no surprise to anyone who has even a passing familiarity with me. I love to read and I love to write, and I love to interpret and re-interpret and see people try to comprehend new pieces of text! I like to consume media scientifically, by surgically analyzing it piece by piece. I owe a lot of that to the hours I spent arguing with my teachers (and later my friends) about media interpretations.

Dream job?

I’ve always wanted to be able to work in film, in writing scripts and maybe even directing? I’ve been meaning to start off small, maybe do a few youtube videos here and there. I’m in the process of writing a few video essays actually! Who knows, maybe now that I’m in college I can finally make it work out...?

#tag game

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