#its so wild. i remember when i was like.. an oc guy?like umm . i was one of the consistent rebloggers..????? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

paypay0315 · 3 years

Text

The Space Between (6)

Pairing: Eren x Reader or Female OC!

Series Summary: Harmony was a young girl who just lost her family, she was more of an open wound then most. When she catches the eye of the Eren Jeager her whole life changes and she doesn't realize she might be in love.

Word Count: 3.5K

"HUH?! You're joining the Scout Regiment?" Eren yells. "But you wanted to be in the Military Police so bad?!!"

"Yeah, that's right but-"

"Looks like your soapbox speech yesterday worked" Connie gets interrupted.

"Huh?!"

"Sh-Shut up!" Connie yells out. "I decided this on my own"

Harmony could clearly tell he was lying by the sudden red that appears on his cheeks. Erens speech wasn't all that though. All it consisted of was him arguing with Jean again about being strong or whatever.

It's been weeks since her last interaction with Eren, and he hasn't really tried to do anything about it. Well he has but Harmony doesn't give him enough opportunity to follow through.

She doesn't understand why she is acting like this. She knows why but everytime she sees Eren she can't get what he said out of her mind.

'Shes all alone'

'She has no one'

Like that wasn't a slap to the face.

"Umm everyone-"

She turns around and sees Sasha, she's also stopped talking Sasha as well. Deep down she does care about Sasha but she can't be okay with being friends with her, she knows how terrible this world is and she can't risk losing someone else in her life.

"I bought some meat from the officers pantry" Shes almost drooling out of her mouth.

Harmony stands up at this. "Sasha what the hell?!" She walks up to her to see the meat inside her shirt.

"Sasha.... you'll be thrown in solitary confinement" Eren shakes. "You're such an idiot"

Even though she doesn't want to agree with him she does. He is right. If she gets caught this could be the end for her.

"Let's spilt it up afterwards" She doesn't even hear what they are saying. Drool slowly starts to come out of her mouth.

"We'll slice it up and put it between slices of bread"

"Put it back!" Connie yells at her.

But she just shakes. She is too blinded by the food she doesn't even hear what they are saying.

"It's all right..... if we reclaim the land we can raise cows and sheep again" she says while putting the meat in the bin next to her.

A light presence starts to fill the air with Sashas words. She always had that effect even when she was obsessed with food she always had a way with words.

"ILL HAVE SOME OF THAT MEAT!" She hears someone yell out beside her.

All of a sudden everyone from their group starts yelling out the same thing. Are these people actually agreeing with her?

They all turn to look at her since she is the only one who hasn't said it. She feels pressured, of course she is not going to say it.

But when she looks down at Sasha who is giving her the biggest smile, something comes over her.

"I guess i'll have some of that meat too" she smiles and the crowd goes wild at her words.

The laughter dies down when everyone goes back to cleaning the canons.

"If we don't get back to work they will find out Eren" Thomas tells him.

She starts to go back to cleaning as well. She walks over to place the metal rod down but she bumps into Eren who hasn't moved an inch.

"Can you move out of the way!" She says.

Eren gets bumped out of his inner thoughts. "Oh-sorry...." He rubs the back of his head.

She walks past him to set down the rode so she can clean it, he wants to tell her something but he can't.

Well he chooses not to. He wants to reach out to stop her from moving but he doesn't.

Maybe she needs to be alone in order to succeed, maybe being alone is for the best. Shes always rude anyways.

That's what he wants to say.

But deep down he can't get over how he sees himself in her. How he sees her passion, her desire to kill all the titans. It's like a hunger that grows in the pit of his stomach. He has to say something.

She can't be alone, she isn't alone.

"Har-"

Before he could finish a yellow flash is brought close onto Harmonys eyes, when she looks up she sees it.

The titan.

Not just any Titan, the titan from that day. The day her family died. What was it doing here? Before she could scream a strong wind makes her blow off of the wall and she immediately latches herself on to the wall.

She stops and looks over and sees Sasha running down to save Samuel. What is she doing?

When she sees Sasha latch on to Samuel she lets go of the breath she was holding but not for long. She looks down "The wall is broken" she says and everyone looks down and sees it too.

"It's happening again, the Titans are coming in" She says quietly but Eren heard her though.

The images from that day show up in her mind again.

"Prepare for battle!" She hears Eren yell.

Battle? Against that thing?

"Our target is right before us! It's the colossal Titan!" Eren whips himself forward.

Is he actually planning on fighting that thing?

"Eren wait!" Harmony yells out.

"Nows our chance! Don't let it get away!"

"EREN STOP!" She yells out to him but it's no use.

He is already flying in the air ready to defeat anything in his path. He's such an idiot. He never thinks, he always just goes. She uses her MOD gear to go where he is.

"EREN WATCH OUT!" She yells but he doesn't even look back. He is too blinded by his hate, she sees him go towards its neck and before he could try again he is in the air. She uses her gear to go towards him to catch him and bring him to the wall.

"What the hell is wrong with you!?" She yells at him. "You almost died"

"It disappeared"

"What?!"

"The titan it disappeared" he spoke soflty. He didn't hear a word she just said. But she stopped talking on the subject cause she also started to think how crazy it was.

The Titan just disappeared out of no where. How did it do that?

"Hey, there's no time to be sitting around, the wall broke so Titans are gonna come here" Connie tells them.

"Go to HQ" an advanced squad leader comes there direction and tells them.

"We need your help over there" They all have there arms to there chest ready for battle.

This was actually happening.

They are actually here.

But this time it's different. Shes fighting the Titans instead of running away like she did back then. She didn't realize she was shaking until they reach the head quarters.

She needed to refill her gas tank as much as she could but she was shaking. She was trying to connect it to her gear but she was shaking.

Why is she shaking? Harmony you have to do this.

"Are you okay Harmony?!" Eren walks up to her.

"i'm fine" she quickly says still trying to put the gear together. It was no use she kept missing the hole. Every breath she took was quick she needed to calm down.

"Hey, Harmony you need to calm down" Eren tries to reach out to her but she moves away.

"I am calm, don't tell me what to do" she growls at him.

"Look I know this isn't the right time but we need to talk..... about everything, when i was talking to Mikasa i didn't mean what i said-"

"Eren we don't have time for this right now-"

"Let me finish-"

"NOO!!" she screamed. The scream she let out helped her attach the gas tanks to her gear and she started to quickly put it on. "We have a job to do, now shut up" she says walking away.

"YOU KNOW THIS IS WHY YOU DONT HAVE ANY FRIENDS" He says loudly for the whole room to hear. She stops.

Tension fills the room and you can hear her sweat drop on the floor. She turns around nose flaring. Why did he say that?

No that's not what he meant to say.

She walks up to him and he honestly knew what was coming he started to hold his body to embrace the impact of her hit but..... it didn't happen. He opens his eyes and she is looking at him.

He looks back up at her, "You think you are so smart dont you? Well guess what Eren, I don't have any friends because I CHOOSE not to have any friends. In this world you don't get to make friends because they all end up dying anyways" It's quiet.

Everyone knew she was right. "Now like I said before, we have a job to do." She walks away never looking back.

She was right, and everyone knew it. In this cold world your friends die and today was the day that proves it.

.....

Of course she was on Erens team once again. When will she ever be free of him.

She's not in the best shape but neither is the rest of her team. She wouldn't admit it but she's terrified. This was very much different then last time.

Last time she was running away, crying, screaming, and she lost many people that she cares about but this time she is running towards them. She can still feel the faint tears on her cheeks that poured down that day.

"Hey, Harmony" Eren calls out to her.

"Isn't this a great opportunity?" He asks her.

"What?"

"If we prove ourselves here before we apply for the Scout Regiment. We are bound to get recruited and earn fast promotions!" He cheered.

How did he know she was joining the Scout Regiment?

He turns her way with a big smile on his face. "I remember you telling me how much you wnated to join them. This is our chance to prove we belong there"

He remembered that? That was such a long time ago.

She flinches at the smile he pursues.

"I hate to disappoint you, but many from our class are candidates for the Scout Regiment" They get interrupted by one of their team mates.

"You beat me to the punch earlier, but not this time" Another one follows her.

"That a challenge, Thomas?" Eren asked.

"Let's see who can kill more titans!" He finishes.

"Squad 34 move out, you are going to support the vanguard" Someone yells out to them.

Harmony stands straight up at the call. This was actually happening. This was her chance to do what she has always dreamed of. She was ready, at least she thinks.

"Okay, let's go!" Eren yells out getting their squad riled up he looks at Harmony who just rolls her eyes at him.

They all take off with their MOD gear flying through the air.

"There's this many titans already?!" The girl with the black hair says.

"The front line is totally dismantled" Thomas follows her.

"What happened here? Those guys are always trying to steal the show"

She knew it was going to be easy but this..... she wasn't expecting this. Can she really do this?

"It's one of the perculiar types!" Eren yells interrupting her thoughts. "STOP!" he yells again and all of them go to the building they are next to, to not get caught by the Titan jumping towards them.

They stopped to look at the Titan before them and they see Thomas. He is dangling from the Titans mouth. No one moved. Everyone just stayed there watching as the Titan gulped him down. He was gone. Thomas was gone.

She didn't even know him for long and he was just gone, it all happened so quickly.

"What the hell did you do?!" She hears Eren scream he pushes himself off the wall and goes after the Titan.

"Eren wait!" She yells back at him but it's too late he already is half way there. Ever single one of them follow him.

"Wait, damn it!" He yells.

"Eren stop you cant go off on your own!" She yells.

She can't finish her next sentence because she sees Eren fly into the air and roughly onto the buildings roof. His legs were chopped off by a Titan.

"Eren!" She yells out. She doesn't have time to go towards him because she looks over at her teammates and see them about to get eaten by titans.

What is happening?

What was she thinking, she can't do this. She cant defeat the titans. Being this close and personal with them she sees this is alot harder thasn she thought.

She looks over and sees Eren, he is bleeding.... alot. He has no leg. It got chopped off by the TItan. She looks over and sees her teammates getting eating and she just stands there, not doing anyhting.

She watches as each bone gets crushed by the mouth of the titan. This is impossible.

She freezes in her spot looking back at Eren who looks completely dead. She drops to her hands and knees, her face doesn't move at all. Shes completely numb.

A Titan starts to move towards her and she doesnt move out of the way, instead the Titan takes her and throws her into its mouth.

She falls onto the Titans tongue and it wasn't until she felt the slime she screamed. What was she doing? She can't die like this. She spent too much time for it to end this way.

"AHHHH!" She screams, she doesn't think anyone can hear her. Is she going to die?

Eren lays there knocking on heavens door. He hears the screams, the screams of his teammates but the one that stands out to him the most is Harmony's.

"H-Harmony" he tries to call out to her but it's no use, his throat feels all scratchy and he can barely talk.

She doesn't deserve to die. He knows him and Harmony didn't have a good start but she doesn't deserve to die. Not after everything she has been through, this is the Titans fault.

It's their fault that she is feeling this way and he hates that. He hates how she can't ever be happy because of this world, because of the Titans. He wants to kill them all.

He wants her to be happy, she is his friend after all even if she doesn't think that way. Even if she hates his guts, he cares about her. She is his friend. And he has to save his friend.

He gets up. His uses his MOD gear to go to the building next to him. He has to keep fighting.

"HARMONY!" she hears a voice call out to her she looks up and it's Eren.

Eren reaches his arm out to her. "Come on!" He yells out. He is saving her. She can't die.

She can't die like this. She pushes herself off of the Titans tongue and into Erens hand. Once they connect he uses all his strength to pull her out.

She pulls herself onto the roof and she sees Eren holding the Titans mouth open.

"Eren come on!" She reaches her hand out to him. He is there and then he is gone.

The Titan closed his mouth and Erens arm comes flying onto her face and so does the blood.

He got ate.

He was just there and then he was just gone.

She watches as the Titan walk away. "AHHH!" She screams out.

How could she let that happen? Eren saved her and he ended up dying. Why did she have to be so weak.

Tears start to well up in her eyes and she doesn't have time to stop them cause they come down fast.

Everyone was dead. Eren was dead.

.....

"Hey!"

"HEY HARMONY" she gets knocked out of her daze too meet eye to eye with Armin.

"Hey Harmony are you okay?" Connie asks.

"Are you hurt?" What happened to your squad?" Armin asks. Still shaking her.

"My squad?" She questions. She honestly doesn't remember much.

"Hey, stay with me now. Why is it just you?" Connie asks holding her shoulder. "Your body feels slimey" He takes his hand off of her.

"What the heck happened?" Armin asks again.

And in an instant the memories flood her mind. She gasps at the realization of what had just happened.

Her squad is dead. Eren is dead.

She remembers feeling his hand ome minute and the next he is gone. She looks out and sees her squad and her parents. Everyone that is dead...... cause if her.

"You're weak"

"IM SO WEAK" She yells out holding her head. Connie and Armin both flinch.

"Hey, calm down Harmony" Connie tells her but she's screaming to loud to hear him.

"Where are the others?" Armin asks again started to get worried. Armin knows that Eren and her were on the same team so why isn't he here?

"Go easy on her yall"

"They were all wiped out, expect for her" Ymir finishes.

"Shut up! Harmony hasn't said anything yet" Connie yells at her.

"Look around! We can't waste our time with her" She tells him.

"Why was Harmony the only one spared?" Connie questions.

"Who knows? Maybe they already thought she was dead" Ymir says. "It's unfortunate they had to face multiple titans, but if this loser is the only survivor Eren and the others died in vain"

"Damn bitch! I outta shut you up for good" Connie threatens.

Harmony doesn't say anything, she is still shaking and crying. She's crying to the point boogers start to come out of her nose. Armin doesn't say anything either. How could he? He just found out his best friend is dead.

"Harmony is it true?" Armin starts to shake her. "TELL ME IT ISNT TRUE!" He yells in her face.

"Stop it, both of you! We're all in shock!" Christa comes forward. "We lost a lot of our friends all at once. We can't help feeling upset!" She says.

"We can't stay here Harmony, can you get up?" Connie reaches his hand out to her, but she doesn't take it. She stands up.

"Sorry for the trouble" She says emotionless.

"I have to go" she uses her MOD gear and takes off.

"HARMONY!" Connie yells out.

"i'll follow her"

"Armin stop" Connie grabs a hold of his arm, "Let me go! She knows the truth of what happened to Eren, i-if i don't know how could I ever live with my self" He stutters letting the tears flow out of his eyes.

Connie lets go and Armin takes off.

.....

Why did she do this? Why didn't she help? She's so weak. If only she wasn't so weak, she could have helped him.

Flying through the air all she can see is Eren going into the Titans throat. She can't get it out of her head.

It plays on a loop. Why did he save her? She should have been the one to die not him. He's such an idiot.

No.

She's the idiot. This whole time all Eren was trying to do was be nice to her and she treated him like shit. She has no one now.

Oh how she wishes she could go back and apologize to him. How she wishes she could see his face again and tell him she didn't mean everything she said. They were friends why did she have to ruin it. All she wanted was friends, and that was Eren.

Eren the one who stayed up with her during the night to look at the stars. Eren, the one who made her bread wine soup when she got sick with a cold and the one who stayed near her bed to see if she was warm. Eren, the one who never left her side, this whole time she thought it was Sasha that was her first friend. But no it was Eren.

Eren was the one who opened her eyes back up again and made her find love in friendship again. But that's all gone now.

All of it. The laughs, the smiles, everything just gone. She feels so much regret for not giving Eren a chance. All he wanted was to be her friend.

"I'm sorry Eren" she cries.

"HARMONY!" she hears her name being called out she turns around and sees Armin following her she didn't realize he was. When she turns back around she immediately hits the wall and falls down to the floor.

"Are you okay?" Armin asks rushing to her side.

She hold her nose to stop the throbbing and she hears heavy breathing. It's hannah.

She's trying to bring her friend back to life but it's no use. His bottom half has been ripped off.

Armin and her both walk up to them.

"HARMONY, YOU NEED TO HELP!" She screams.

"Hannah, it's too dangerous here. We have to get up in the roof" Armin tells her.

"WE CANT LEAVE FRANZ HERE!" She screams again.

"No, Hannah-" Harmony breathes "Franz is already....." she stops talking.

Franz is really dead. "Please stop" she shakes and cries once again.

She falls to her knees. "He's dead" She says quietly.

"Armin..... Eren- he's dead" She tells him and Armin falls to his knees with her and starts crying.

16 notes · View notes

writingkeepsmewhole · 5 years

Text

Old Friends

This is part 23 of A Team. Blows my mind there is this many parts to this haha.

Emily and Andy adjust to their life them going to town only to run into an old friend.

Andy Biersack x OC Emily

Warnings: Word or two maybe

Taglist let me know if you wanna be added: @panicatangelica @bvbarmy-jaci

Part 1 Part 22

I was standing in the kitchen the sound of the hockey game coming from the living room. Me and Andy were settled. Him inviting Joe and the band over to watch the game together.

"I gotta say this is something I never thought I'd see." Ashley says coming into the kitchen. It only separated by a half wall.

"What me barefoot and pregnant?" I ask getting the shredded cheese out of the fridge.

"No, Andy throwing a party."

"Oh yeah I love my little introvert."

"He can hear you." Andy says getting a smile from me.

"So I guess you did it." Ashley says taking the beer I hand him.

"Did what?" I ask putting the sour cream on the counter.

"You chained him down."

Laughing I roll my eyes.

"Well he was already with someone I just loved him. You'll settle down when you find someone."

"I like being wild. I don't think I'm ready to give that up."

"Oh Ash I would expect nothing less."

Dipping a bowl of chili I sat it on the tray with a drink and crackers.

"Food's done." I say bringing the tray to Andy.

"Thanks cupcake." He says not looking away from the TV.

"Your welcome batman." I say sitting next to him.

"You all feel free to serve yourself." I say to the everyone.

"Looks good." Andy says looking at me since it was a commercial.

Most women get mad that a man won't pay attention to them when a game is on but I never minded it.

Even more now. Andy has done so much for me I enjoyed seeing him happy.

Andy's hand sat on my knee as him and Joe talked.

I liked that we were finally able to relax. Who knew normal was a good thing.

I was cleaning up the kitchen Andy saying goodbye to Jake and CC them the last to leave. I was washing dishes when i felt arms wrap around me. Andy kissing my neck his hands landing on my stomach.

"How's my girls doing?" He asks him kissing my shoulder.

"One is tired and the other is doing flips." I say moving Andy's hand to the side of my stomach.

Gently pushing his fingers down right where her foot kicked the side of my stomach.

"Feel it?"

"I did. I really felt it this time." He says spinning me around to face me.

A huge grin on his face.

"Make her do it again." He says placing his hands on my stomach.

Laughing I softly poke the underside of my stomach. Her kicking again.

"That's so amazing." he says making me grin.

"Does it hurt?"

"Sometimes but at the moment no." I say feeling her flip. Andy must have too his blue eyes growing to the size of saucers.

"That was her turning over." I explain.

"That's fucking amazing."

I nod smiling feeling my eyes water. "Hey what's wrong?" He asks gently holding my face.

"I’m just happy." I say shrugging feeling stupid for crying.

"Cupcake that's a good thing. Don't cry." He says wiping my cheeks.

"You've done so much for me and your here. I never thought I'd ever be here."

"I wouldn't have it any other way." He says kissing me his lips warm and familiar.

I close my eyes kissing him back holding onto his shirt. He wraps his arm around me it resting on my hip the other was still on my face. He kisses me softly as if he is gonna break me but I don't mind it.

I had to be tough my whole life with Andy I could be fragile and I loved it.

Pulling away from me he presses his forehead to mine. I close my eyes take a shaky breath.

"I love you, you know that right?" He says making me blush.

"I know. I love you too I'm just the broken one remember?"

"It's okay I'll put you back together."

Smiling I give him a quick peck then wipe my face.

"I need to finish cleaning up so we can go to the store." I say meeting his blue eyes with my green ones.

"I'll get the living room." He says kissing me again then leaving kisses all over my face making me laugh.

"Andy stop." I say giggling.

"Fine I'll be good." He says stopping.

"Thank you."

"Of course." He says pulling away from me and walking into the living room picking up the bowl of chips.

After we cleaned up we left the house getting into Andy's car. Normal we would just walk to the store and back but my feet was not having it.

We walked into the store my fingers tangled with Andy's.

"I have to potty." I say walking towards the bathroom.

"Meet me in the produce section?"

"Deal." I say letting go of his hand and going to the bathroom.

When I came back I walk to the produce section easily spotting Andy. It was hard to lose a 6ft tall tattooed guy.

He was talking to two teenagers both grinning from ear to ear.

"Honey did you make new friends?" I ask walking up to him.

"Oh my gosh your Emily!" The girl with the lip piercing says making me smile.

"That's me." I say nodding my hand going to my stomach when the baby rolls. She was very active today.

"Not to be rude but are you pregnant?" The other girl asks. Vicky was her name i’m guessing by the necklace she's wearing.

"I am." I say looking at Andy hoping he won't get mad for me telling them.

"That's so cute! You two will make the cutest baby."

"Thank you." Andy says wrapping his arm around me his hand going into my back pocket.

"Well we will let you get back to shopping. Thanks for the picture." They say and walk off talking to each other.

"You made their day." I say smiling at him.

"Yeah but they seemed to like you too."

"Duh I'm awesome."

Smiling he kisses the top of my head us start looking for what we need.

We were putting stuff in the car talking about what to eat when I took a step back running into someone.

"I'm sorry" we both say looking at each other.

I didn't recognize the person her dirty and clearly homeless.

"Emily?" The woman said hugging me.

"Umm hi." I say patting her.

"Your alive." She says smiling at me.

"Ma'am you need to take a step back." Andy asks calmly.

"Hey I know you. You're that guy at the club." She says pointing at him.

"The club? Alexis is that you?" I ask her, her looking at me.

"Yes its me!"

"I thought you died." I say hugging her.

"What happened?"

"That crazy guy came to the house and started pouring gas everywhere. He thought I was asleep in my room I snuck out the window."

"What's going on?" Andy asks looking at me.

"Oh this Alexis my old roommate and best friend before you kidnapped me. Alexis this is Andy."

"Andy? Thee Andy?" She asks looking at him.

"Yeah?" he says looking at me.

"I was kinda in love with you. She knew about it. I never stopped wearing your necklace." I say touching it.

"Wait did you say he kidnapped you?"

"Long story get in you are coming home with us."

"She is?" Andy says.

"Yes." I say like it's obvious.

When we get home with Alexis help we get all the food in. Stretching I peel my coat off hearing a gasp.

"Pregnant! Your pregnant!" she says pointing at my stomach.

"Oh yeah." I say blushing.

"I'll let you two talk. You gonna be okay?" Andy asks looking at me.

"I'm okay." I say nodding.

"Alright I'll be in the bedroom." He says kissing my cheek.

I move to the kitchen to start putting the food away.

“So what the hell happened that night? I went to the club after what Jack did and you were gone.”

“I was with him.” I say looking at her.

“He came and picked me up at the club and took me to a hotel room….” I say going over what happened that night.

“He hurt me pretty bad I got away from him and started running. I woke up in Andy’s hotel room.”

“How'd that happen.”

“You said he was at the club right?”

“Yeah.” She says nodding.

“They were staying at a hotel nearby. Don’t know why. Andy was on tour they had the bus but things happen. I got lucky.”

“So you and him have been together ever since?”

“No.” I say smiling.

“He was with someone. I say he kidnapped me because when I found out who he was and that he didn’t remember me I ran. I came back, and when I woke up I was on the bus. About had a heart attack in the small bunk though.” I say laughing.

“So he kidnapped you why?”

“I think he felt guilty. His life went one way and mine went another. I think he wanted to help me and he did.”

“Okay so how did this-.” She says gesturing to my stomach.

“Happen?”

“I was with them a month or so we all went out and got drunk. Andy took me back to the bus we had sex.”

“That’s it?”

“We got together a few days after.”

“What happened to the girlfriend?”

“She cheated. Was cheating. After what we did Andy went to go tell her and found her with someone else.”

“Damn.. That’s nuts.”

“That’s just half of it.”

“The other half?”

“I’ll tell you after you take a shower. Come on I got some clothes that will fit you.” I say walking up the steps.

“So you got everything you always wanted?”

“Yeah.. I guess I did.” I say stopping at the bathroom door.

“Go on in I’ll bring you some clothes.”

She nods and walks inside shutting the door.

I go to the bedroom Andy sitting on the floor papers surrounding him.

“Writing songs?” I ask stepping over a few to get to the dresser.

“Yeah.”

“Didn’t you just put out Wretched and Divine?”

“Yes but I got all these words in my head that I need to get out.”

“Write that down that was pretty good.”

“Funny.” He says looking up at me.

“Really I liked it.” I say bending down to kiss him. It just a quick peck.

I move over him again and head across the hall to the bathroom. Hearing the water running I open the door just a bit.

“Can I come in?”

“Yeah.” Alexis calls back.

I open the door and step inside shutting it back.

Setting the clothes on the sink I take a breath.

“How did you get here?” I ask her.

“To LA I mean.”

“After what happened I wanted to get as far away from that place as I could. I came looking for you when I saw on the news about Jack being killed I took that as a sigh to leave.”

“Jack’s dead? I was wondering if I killed him.”

“You did it?” She asks sounded shocked.

“I told you I got away. He was keeping me locked up.”

“Emily how much hardship are you gonna go threw in your life?”

“I hope I’m done for a long while.”

“Let’s talk about something else. How did you find out you were pregnant?”

“The hospital told me.”

“The hospital?” She asks poking her head out at me her hair covered in soap.

Sighing I drop my head.

“My dad found me.”

“Damn your life it like a TV drama.” She says going back in the shower.

“Yeah tell me about it.”

“What happened?”

“He saw a picture of me online I think and tracked me down. Kidnapped me tried to lock me up and make everything as messed up as it was when I was a teenager.”

“What did you do? How’d you get away?”

“I ran. Got hit by a car took back. I kicked him down the steps. Andy came with the police and found me. The doctor told me I was gonna have a baby.”

“Well at least something good came out of it.”

“That’s true.”

“Do you know what it is yet?” She asks turning the shower off.

I pick up a town and hand it to her threw the curtain.

“She’s a girl.”

“Aww cute! Name?” She asks hoping the curtain wrapped in the towel.

“Anily. It’s mine and Andy’s name put together.”

“That’s very twilight of you.”

“Hush!” I say waving my arm at her.

“Get out so I can get dressed.”

Laughing I step out of the bathroom Andy still in the floor.

“Write anything good yet?” I ask walking in and sitting across from him leaning on the bed.

“It’s kinda dark.”

“So?”

Clearing his throat he picked up the notepad in front of him and softly started to sing.

A lonely heart remains until we know the truth But if it stays the same, can we make it through? A life without the hurt, a life without you

“I like it.” I say smiling.

“Yeah but I don’t like that for the beginning of the song.”

“What’s the song about?”

“Changes. The changes in our lives. It’s about getting up and walking away. To move forward.”

“Then that’s how you started it. Started with How our lives have changed. Eww no I don’t like that. Now our lives have changed.”

“I can work with that.” He says smiling making me smile back.

“Is this what you two do all day?” Alexis asks drying her hair off looking much for like herself now.

“Not everyday. This is a lazy day.” I say standing up with the help of the bed.

“Wow your pregnant.” She says making me laugh.

“Yeah I am. We went over this.”

“I know but it’s just hard to believe. You never wanted kids and look at you.”

“I wanted kids I just wanted to love the father and to be able to raise the baby right.”

“Well you got that now right?”

“Right.” I say smiling down at Andy him smiling back.

“So what do we do now?”

“Now? Now we go make food.”

22 notes · View notes

tumblunni · 5 years

Text

What do you guys think about the names Dustin and Darcy for my protagonists in Let's Go?

Cos i really wanted to play the co op mode thing by myself, just so i can pretend this role in the plot is filled by two siblings and have a bit of fun roleplaying that. But i dunno yet how the co-op works and whether you'd be able to customize the avatar of the second player or if its just the default trainer? Or can you only play co-op if you have two separate games? Im planning to buy the other version anyway once i get more money, so it could be fun to play my first version with sibling one and then the second playthru is sibling two's turn to shine!

Oh and the whole reason i wanted to do this is cos i wanna try out the customization features to make some ocs now that there's no competitive online stuff unless you pay a subscription fee (LOL NO THANKS). Like..i always felt like i HAD to make my character me in xy/sumo/usum, otherwise its like lying online? But of course i cant actually make me because theres no nonbinary option or even remotely ambiguous outfits for either gender. And you cant have wild hair colours while i dye my hair 24/7 irl lol. Its silly cos like 95% of the gym leaders and other characters ingame have anime hair colours yet the player has to be normal? So yeah i cpuldnt really enjoy making this innacurate defanged version of myself yet i didnt feel like i was allowed to just make up a new character either. Closest i could do was give myself white hair like my old trainersona when i was 12, lol. I mean i guess thats my 'real hair colour' underneath the dye right now, if you think about it that way?

OH GOD PIKACHU CAN HAVE A LITTLE TUXEDO AND BOWLER HAT HOLY FUCK IM SORRY TO INTERRUPT THIS BUT I WAS WATCHING THE IGN REVIEW AND THEY SHOWED PIKA BOWLER HAT PLEASE GO GOOGLE THAT VIDEO JUST FOR THAT 1 SECOND OF NEW FOOTAGE OF MY BEAUTIFUL CLASSY BOYE

okay where was i

Yeah! I think sibling trainers could be a good and unique way to handle a rival! Like having them be your sibling already establishes that rivalry. But it can be a soft and nice rivalry! I wanna go with that fun version rather than the full on angry exaggerated sibling rivalries you often see in kids media. Like i know that some people legit dont get on with their siblings and some people can even have a very gary esque full on rivalry thats sorta 'love to hate' or like..tsundere pretending you hate them. But personally i never had experience with that, i can never relate to those 'tfw u hate ur sibling and theyre always an asshole but lolll u love them anyway' posts. I only got to live with my little sister for a little while due to the catastrophe of abusive parenthood that was my childhood, and i lost contact with her forever when she was very young so i doubt she'd even remember me. *sigh* But like i don't think i only love her so much because i miss her! People say newborns and toddlers are the most bratty so like you'd think if i was gonna ever find her 'annoying' i would have done it back then. I was always just mega proud of her and whenever she'd be 'bratty' i'd be cheering her on and trying to protect her from mom. And when she'd try and pull pranks on me or practise play-fighting or whatever i was just like 'lol thats legit funny' and taking play-falls so she felt better about herself. Like we didnt have much power in that household so i felt like encouraging her pretending to be a wrestler would help her feel like she had some sort of control in some part of her life i guess? And just i wished i was allowed to roughhouse and run around and be all 'unladylike' and just enjoy BEING A KID when i was a kid, yknow? I always had legit fun being with her and legit enjoyed it and was legit proud and legit never annoyed. I just dont understand 'yeah she's annoying but i love her anyway'. I was only ever her rival as a play-rival to help encourage her to like.. Enjoy the things she enjoyed. Feel like someone else cared. I only ever acted like 'ha ha baby stuff yeah sure i hate hanging out with my sister" cos i thought i was SUPPOSED TO. I always felt so guilty doing it and so dissappointed cos id rather hang out with her than be a boring stereotypical teen tbh. I dunno, maybe this isnt typical for siblings and its just a sign of how badly we were raised? I was just real fuckin lonely and absolutely loved having a family member who loved me for the first time since my grandma died. Same reason i always used to act all 'i am too cool i totally am not soft for my lil sister' around my lil sister's dad. I really wanted him to love me too! I used to say swear words at him cos i thougjt he would thibk i was Cool And Adult?? I have soooo many cringe moments from that phase of my childhood. Man it hurts to think that i never actually did get to become that positive influence that protected my sister from my mum and let her know she was loved. Cos i was sent to live with my dad when she was like 5ish? And never saw her again and now im too scared to try and reach out to her again because 1: she probably doesnt even remember me, 2: theres a chance she believes my mum saying i was some horrible asshole who abandoned the family, 3: even bigger chance that contacting her could mean my mum finding me again and big fuckin risk of further abuse. Plus the awkwardness of introducing my trans self when she'd remember me as her sister and all. Sigh! All i can do is hope that her cool dad eventually got custody of her, and that he didnt turn out to be a secret bastard like when i met my own dad. He seemed good, but then again i was just a lil kid and my dad seemed good at first. Sighhhhhh...

SO UMM YEAH WOW I MADE MYSELF SAD

Anyway the point is that whenever i write siblings i'd rather write 100% unapologetic super loving love cos its wish fullfillment for me. This is also why in/cest shipping is a massive beserk button for me, good wholesome family relationships are REAL FUCKIN IMPORTANT and how DARE you corrupt that shit! Some people would fuckin KILL to have that wholesome family!!

Anyway lol thats why i'd like a Wholesome Rivalry for these sibling ocs! Like they challenge each other to contests along the way just for fun, and they react all 'wow my sis is the BEST' when you beat them, so hard feelings at all. And you dont JUST do rival stuff but also sometimes just hang out and have fun cos you missed each other. And if anyone threatens your sibling then THAT is the only time you see the Serious Sibling Power! Rival moments: ha ha lol bet ya cant beat me ooo im a scary villain LOL I CANT KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE HAHA! Giovanni punches your brother: *stony cold death glare from hell as tricksy prank sis turns into an unstoppable vengeance engine* Oh, but also the only other time they'd be serious is in their final battle together! Like most of the 'rivalry' is just competing to make the adventure fun and to help each other get stronger. But if sis/bro ever actually legit said they really want to fight to find out who's the best, and its like..important to help their self confidence, then i think bro/sis would respect that and go all out. Taking a fall and letting them win would be the most disrespectful thing of all! Oh, but i do think there would be one kind of battle like that during the story? Like in one of the more low stakes faux-rival fights the sibling actually does try and let you win, and the challenge is to try and lose against all odds. High stakes super failure battle!!! Imagine the evil team in the background like 'wtf' as these two run the most aggressively slow race of all time! XD

Oh and i kinda thought about different personalities for the two of them based on who you pick? Like i did like that aspect about brendan/may in RSE compared to other 'unpicked option becomes rival' characters in later games that didnt even have one personality let alone two. It just sucks that the personalities they decided to give them were 'female rival is super self concious and thinks youre better than her because youre a boy' and 'male rival is super ego and thinks he's better than you because he's a boy'. Boooo!

So instead of that the personalities i was thinking for these two would be less sexist lol. Male sibling Dustin is basically Wally so far? I need to develop him a bit more to make him a bit distinct, i mean its not like every single shy dude is identical. I'm thinking maybe mix him with all the wasted potential in Brendan? Like in the game they slightly hint at him having the ONE non stereotypical trait of liking cute teddy bears, and that made me think about how much better his whole plot would have been if it actually criticized his sexism and said that he only behaves that way cos he's overcompensating for being bullied for being 'feminine', yknow? And then in the manga they actually DO write him as super feminine, and even as a contest star who loves fashion and dressing up his pokemon! But then GAHHH they present it as some sort of fuckin 'character flaw', like he's shown to be selfish and superficial because of it. And the backstory is that him and the female protagonist used to be 'normal' until a traumatic event. Brendan was a Natural Fighting Prodigy until he saved his female friend from a wild pokemon and was so traumatized that he never wanted to fight again, while she wanted to learn to fight so she'd never need to be protected again. But this is not only presented as Wrong Ways To Be Gender but also like.. Fighting their natural instinct which still comes through?? Like male protag hasnt fought in YEARS yet whenever he's forced to fight he's just magically better at it than female protag who's been practising all these years to become his equal. Ha ha silly girl you can never achieve that! All you get is this patronizing 'well if you just tryyyyy girly things im sure you'll like it' plot and then you get rescued by him in the end because OF COURSE you do. Sigh! I cant believe they made me hate that pairing even more than the games did! So yeah i dont really wanna write Dustin as a jerkass who's secretly got synpathetic motives of internalized homophobia/sexism, cos i feel thats a plot very specific to my perceptuons of Brendan and id basically just have to make Dustin a clone of him and he wouldnt be able to shine on his own merits. Instead i'm just thinking of writing him as a 100% sensitive soul, and he still faces predjudice for not being that bigoted idea of an 'ideal man' but really the fact he doesnt bow down to their demands proves that he's the bravest person here.

And then I'm thinking maybe the female sibling Darcy is the older one and is a bit "gary ish"? Like eitjer way you still have a friendly and loving siblingness, but she's a bit more of a sass who is tsundere about admitting she loves her bro. But i dont think she's the cold or grumpy sort of tsundere, more like a trickstery tomboy? Bombastic loki jock sis! She can only be a bit abrasive with her bro cos she wants to teach him to be tough even when she's not there to protect him. But sometimes she can mess it up and make him feel like he has to change his personality in order to be tough, rather than letting him know she supports him in being "unmasculine" and just wants to help him find the confidence to stand up to people who bully him for it. Like she feels like she is 'weaker' than him in the sense that she worries too much about what people will think if she expresses her real emotions, yknow? Like theyre both suffering from toxic masculinity! He's suffering from the standard form where men who are too 'soft' are beaten down into that mould. Ans she's suffering from the problem where 'masculine' girls feel like they have to be '100% masculine' in order to be allowed to be themselves at all. Like back when i was a kid and before i came out as trans i always used to try and pretend to like sports ans like..cliche macho shit where you Cant Admit You Care About Your Friends and also i wasnt allowed to like ANY feminine things at all. I had to either follow the stereotype of femininity entirely or follow the opposite stereotype, i wasnt allowed to just reject stereotypes and like what i actually like. So yeah me realizing i wasnt really a girl has led to me embracing more 'girly' things than back when i thought i was one! So i think Darcy would have a similar arc but like..the cis equivelant? Just finds people who arent such judgmental pricks and stops having to conform to either of those stereotypes in order to keep fake friends who dont really give a shit about her. She can have a plot about both forced feminine and masculine stereotypes being equally limiting, rather than that shitty 'being masculine is a prison uwu every woman will be happier embracing her love of makeup' shit. That dominant narrative just made me feel like i was somehow wrong about myself whenever i didnt like 100% Of Sports All The Time, i must be somehow girly if i liked even ONE girly thing yet i needed hundreds of proofs if i wanted to be masculine. And like i wasnt just allowed to be neither! I wasnt allowed to like parts of both! I wasnt allowed to BE GODDAMN TRANS!!! So yeah i dunno if i'd go whole hog and make this character a trans man or a nonbinary person tho? I think she's just actually a cis girl who happens to be sporty and brash and likes a lot of 'masculine' fashion and hobbies. And she's just been made to feel self concious about it, as if she cant possibly REALLY be that unless she likes Every Single Boy Thing and wins at Every Single Challenge. Does anyone else remember that shit too? The girls have to win Every sports game against the boys in order to be 'one of the boys' but if you lose even one of them it somehow proves that you're inferior. Even though the boys lost 50 billion games to you and that doesnt prove theyre inferior! Like man she has sooooo many 'gary rivals' in her school life, thats why she loves going on this adventure with a kind brother rival who actually respects her! So her resolution would just be her staying the same but being more confident about it and saying fuk u to those fake friends. Same as her brother's plot, just they both face different specifics to the way this sexism affects them, yknow?

Oh but yeah when i did finally learn about LGBT stuff and realize i was trans it was Big Amazing cos even in the rare stories about Its Okay To Be Yourself it still left me feeling weirdly empty when the girl decides that yes she does wanna be a girl in the end. So i get that these plots might come off as queerbaiting if i write them badly? I need to make sure to make it clear that these characters 100% want to be seen as this gender and its just other people being fuckfaces and trying to define what their gender has to mean. I think maybe i'll try and mitigate this potential misunderstanding by adding different sorts of lgbt content. And, well, also cos i just want lgbt content in all of my stories because i am lgbt, of course! I'm 100% sure that Darcy is gay, and i think also maybe possibly Dustin is trans? Like, his plot is about being mocked for being a 'feminine' boy, but its also even more personal for him because he's a trans boy and he feels like he needs to change his personality in order to pass/he isnt really real because his personality doesnt fit the stereotypical image of a man. Like if you'd looked at the two of them back when they were identical twins, you probably would have expected Darcy to end up being trans if you were the sort of person who believes those basic ass stereotypes about 'boys who play with barbies and girls who play with trucks'. Or i mean maybe its the other way around and Darcy is a trans girl who still has a 'masculine' personality according to stereotypes? Or even both of them are trans and both face being told that they arent real because they dont fit the perfect stereotype of a trans person according to cis perceptions? Or maybe i'm overcomplicating things with all of this and it'd just muddy the message i guess. I might just keep it to them both being cis but also both of them like girls. And i can always apply my trans and other LGBT headcanons to other characters along their adventure.

Anyway LOL im rambling too much!

#lets go bunni #bunni plays lets go

7 notes · View notes

3one3 · 7 years

Text

The Sequel - 793

The Wounded Swallow

André Schürrle, Juan Mata, other Chelsea/BVB players, and random awesome OC’s

(okay they’re less random now but they’re still pretty awesome)

original epic tale

all chapters of The Sequel

The “Erotic: Passion & Desire” preview exhibition was understandably weird. Most of the cocktail attendees were not actual, interested buyers, but still art regulars. They were comfortable with the theme of the works on display. The others, less so. There was a lot of whispering among those folks, while the relaxed group spoke freely and conversationally. The quiet group moved from lot to lot in pairs or threesomes and wore shocked or aghast faces. The less awkward people seemed to be having a better time, and seemed to enjoy discussing the various pieces with unabashedly presented penises, vaginas, and butts, and the activities portrayed. Christina and Juan were in the middle. They kept their voices low but discussed the art freely too.

Christina even got a nearly incurable case of giggles when they arrived at the penis table. It was too ridiculous for her hold on composure. Supposedly delivered to Catherine The Great, the round table featured a cross-shaped base with four erect, veiny penises reaching up and out from the center, each with its own pair of balls adorned with nipples, and grounded in gold painted swirls meant to look like pubic hair. The tabletop itself had random hard penises and balls glued every 12” or so around its border- some with their bulging red mushroom heads pointing up and some down, and interspersed with the spread thighs, vagina, torso, and chest of a female. Neither the rider nor the player could imagine a room or circumstance that would call for a baby blue and gold table made out of and decorated with erections.

Works by Picasso, Klimt, De Kooning, and Howard Chandler Christy garnered a more scholarly response from the duo of friends. They pretended to take them in analytically and try to appreciate them as important art. Mostly, they discussed how surprisingly low the bid estimates were. They thought it should cost more to own a sketch by Picasso. Another prospective buyer who overheard them butted in to suggest that “he made so much art, everyone in London could have a Picasso”. That statue of the two lovers that Christina reacted to in the online catalogue was among the more expensive, at £180,000-220,000. She told Juan that she really liked it because of how real it was, and she was very real herself in telling him, in a whisper like those awkward and uncomfortable people, that it made her think of being with him. The equestrian with the husband and the sort-of-side-boyfriend assured him that she would never want to own such a thing though. The Helmut Newton print she did want wasn’t what she thought it was. It was part of a portfolio of 9 silver prints and a CD of the photoshoot in a fancy case, published by Volkswagen. They were all photos of naked women with a Beetle from 1999. She only liked the one of a woman on her back holding up a TV screen with a front view of the car with two other women sitting in it. It was shot from between the naked woman’s legs but cropped to exclude anything more explicit than her breasts.

“Now you have seen all of the lots- which one do you think I was talking about the other day when I said I want it?” the Chelsea man asked her after they got their second glasses of Chardonnay and returned to the “scene” to people-watch.

“Well that’s a cumbersome way to ask the question, so I’m going to assume you don’t want it now that you’ve seen it,” she posited thoughtfully, scanning the pieces that weren’t obstructed by other people. “Otherwise you could just ask “Which one do you think I want?” yes?”

“No, I still want it.” Juan smirked a little and then shifted his eyes side to side, as if to make sure he didn’t accidentally lock onto the piece in question and give it away.

“It’s the dick table, isn’t it?”

“No,” he laughed.

“Umm....is it the painting of the girl’s butt and thighs and arms with her hand kind of over the middle? The girl with the tattoos? I kind of like that one. Probably because it’s only 30 years old.”

“Nope.”

“One of the 19th century watercolors with the dick sucking? You know, I kind of always assumed oral sex was a more modern invention. Threesomes, too. There’s that ivory box thing with one woman sucking the guy’s dick and one licking his butt. That’s even older!” Christina truly marveled at the sexual habits of significantly older societies. “How long ago do you think it was when someone first figured out that putting his penis in a woman’s mouth can be as nice as putting it in her vagina?” she whispered.

“However long ago Adam met Eve. And no. You have two strikes. One more chance to guess.”

“I’m going to Google it.” She took her phone out but paused for one more quick glance around the room for a final guess. “I have no idea what else here you might like. The pin-up girls?”

“The angel.”

“Really? I didn’t know you’re a sculpture guy.” Christina looked up from her phone to locate the white marble angel in the nude. She was a little more than 2’ tall and sat on a rock with her lengthy wings hanging down behind it. The piece was buy a French artist who lived from the middle of the 19th century into World War I. Christina didn’t have any special feelings about the work when they stood in front of it, and she didn’t have much special interest in Juan’s interest in it either. He articulated a very specific interest.

“She��s you, cariña,” he told her, a hand at the small of her back to steer her back to it off to the right side of the room. She was already rolling her eyes. What’s his deal with angels? Are religious people really into them? “L’hirondelle Blessée,” he read from the information placard accompanying the sculpture. “The Wounded Swallow. She’s a beautiful angel who has hurt her ankle.” Indeed, the angel was sat on the rock to assess an injury to her lower leg, which was lifted up for inspection. Her head was tilted down to look at it, and her left hand gripped it to palpate the painful area with her thumb. She had strong looking thighs, a narrow waist with clearly defined abs, round hips, and ample, pert cleavage. The muscle in her neck even stood out proudly from her posture. The only obvious thing differentiating this “Swallow” from the player’s friend was her short hair. And perhaps her height. The angel looked as if she’d be a bigger person than Christina. It was the wrong ankle too.

“I didn’t even notice that she was injured before,” the latter mumbled as she took the sculpture in for the second time, her tone a little absent because she was surprised and still trying to understand the parallels. It was a little shocking.

“I’m going to make a bid on her before we leave.” The Spanish midfielder wore a fond and slightly excited smile while he too studied the figure. It was his muse’s turn to get shifty-eyed. Anybody looking? No? K. She leaned over to smooch his cheek in a way that was just naughty enough to need privacy. An innocent peck could be seen by anyone. A momentarily lingering kiss was for no one’s eyes. “You like her?”

“I like that you think she’s me and duly want to bring her home.”

“I want to bring you home too, but I want to eat first.” Juan chuckled in her periphery. I can’t tell if he liked that I just did that, if he didn’t even really notice, or if he’s ignoring it because he doesn’t want anyone else to notice, she thought. I also don’t know if I care which it is. Also, I’m starving. “Have you seen enough? Should we go find out how I make a written bid and get moving for dinner?”

“Yes! Where are we going?”

“Walking distance is Bellamy’s, Hakkasan, Wild Honey, and Sexy Fish. French, Chinese, British, or Japanese?”

“Hakkasan doesn’t serve dinner after like 7, so that’s out. Bellamy’s has approximately 10 items on the menu and 9 of them are fish or veal, so no Bellamy’s. Wild Honey is boring. I vote for the long walk to Sexy Fish. I haven’t been there since you got that red card and made me go there with you,” Christina sniggered, remembering the match and how silly the sequence of events was that led to the Spaniard’s dismissal. “I want a grilled rib eye steak with Asiany flavors, and fried spicy noodles, and-“

“Your eyes are so much bigger than your stomach.” Juan watched her drink the wine and lifted his brows questioningly when, mid-sip, her eyes narrowed deviously. She was on to something.

“Juanin, you’re always complaining that I eat all the food and don’t share enough with you, or hog it all to myself. Now you say I order more than I eat. You can’t have it both ways,” she reminded with her nose in the air.

“I can. You order a steak the size of your head and eat three bites, and instead you eat all of my food. Or you say “I want this, this, and this, so will you eat some so I can order everything on page-2?” and I say okay and order the things I really want, and then you eat those things and tell me I should eat the ones you wanted.”

“Not true. Not true at all. You’re going to get some icky fish thing I won’t eat anyway.” The German rider stuck her tongue out and marched toward someone with a nametag, assuming that person could help the player set up his bid for the angel auction.

After a long and enjoyable Asian-themed dinner, he asked his real live angel if she wanted him to bring her home to his place or hers, with the understanding that they were spending the night together either way. Christina told him that she still needed to go home even though Lukas was in Germany with his dad, as she had two dogs waiting for her to let them out and needing her there to feed them in the morning, and because she wouldn’t be able to spend her whole Friday in bed if she woke up the wrong one. Juan was welcomed to stay though. He earned that, with his attraction to the sculpture and with his always-charming company throughout the night. She wanted him to stay. She wanted to finish her night with him. It was again a situation in which she hadn’t seen him in about a week and missed him. The Spaniard was becoming the thing that felt like normal in her life. Spending time with him was the constant that she returned to after every competition, work trip, Dortmund visit, etc. Having a normalcy to come home to was something she valued and needed. While doing the same thing day after day and living a “normal” life by any average person’s standard clearly proved many times not for her, having at least a sense of a normalcy was still important. It was for that reason that she wrapped up a decent day and a fun night tucked under his arm and on his chest, watching TV and talking about big picture current affairs, personal current affairs, and nonsense, and not because they’d spent some enchanted evening together and she fancied a romantic or sexy nightcap. The denouement of their evening was anything but sexy, as they were both overfull, overtired, and overrun by Toy Fox Terriers thrilled to score a second consecutive night of bedroom access.

One of the most satisfying aspects of this new normal was that it felt like maybe Juan thought of it as his constant too. Sometimes when Christina needed a person to snuggle with and unwind on, it was like he was doing her a favor. He made some sacrifice to listen to her troubles when she and André couldn’t stop plucking at each other’s last nerves. It was something he had to endure. He tolerated it. In truth he seldom said or behaved in a way that should have made the rider think that, but still, the belief persisted, perhaps because of her own propensity for labeling herself a burden on others, and for feeling like a victim. That was no longer the case. Juan was there on equal terms with her. And if the previous week were an indication, he wasn’t just there and wanting to be because he thought it was an opportunity to get some ass. The two friends hung out twice during her last quick London stopover and there was no hookup of any kind. It seemed like just spending regular time together was his constant too- that he sought it too, and relaxed in it too. He gave off no sense of waiting or expectation.

For a few minutes that Thursday night, while they were talking about the cultural differences in late night talk shows between the US and England, Christina thought of Jill. A Monday afternoon playdate for shopping, a great dinner out, and many hours vegging in front of the TV with her best friend was what she came back to after horse shows. Sometimes Jill was at the shows too, and sometimes she wasn’t. It didn’t matter. The first order of business after coming home, and after working at the barn in the morning, was using her free time to let down with Jill. Monday was pretty universally accepted as the day off in Long Island equestrian culture. Trainers didn’t do lessons and nobody really came to ride. It was by design because usually everybody went to a horse show on Sunday and tired out the horses, or everybody had lessons over the weekend when off from school and work, so the barn-owned lesson horses were tired from that. The grooms had much of the day off too. They had to feed and clean stalls in the morning and throw the horses outside for the day, but then they were free until evening feeding time. Simon never showed up on Mondays. Christina went in to help the guys make sure all the horses were okay after traveling, and to check legs and feet unwrapped and unpacked, and deal with anything that happened while she and her boss were away. Then she had the rest of the day off too.

That was her normalcy for much of her adult life. Then she moved, and got married, and grew into a whole new career, and André was normalcy. He was it for more years, actually. There wasn’t a set thing like Mondays with Jill. It was everything. He was there and whatever they did was the constant, even though whatever they did varied a lot. That had been gone for 7 months and it took probably 6 of them for Christina to adopt a new tether- a new thing that grounded her at home, that she could point to as a pillar to give her life structure. In some ways it was the only scaffolding- the only point of reference. Even her riding schedule when she returned home was different all the time, or nonexistent because she had to go somewhere else after a show instead of home. So there was just Juan.

“How do these little dogs not get cold out in the stable all the time?” he asked absently as Spencer pawed at the top of the black satin duvet- a request to be let under it so he could burrow next to a human. “Their blankets only cover a small part of their bodies. Don’t their feet get cold?”

“When it’s really cold I put their fleece shirts on under the blankies,” the animal expert explained. It definitely wasn’t cold in bed. She had half of Juan’s body as a heater, and the blanket covering most of hers. “They even have little hoodies, but I kinda bought those just to take cute pictures. They can’t actually wear the hoods so they don’t really make them warmer. Actually, I meant to look online today for square beds for them. The barn builder guys did a clever thing for them in the tack room at the new place. There are two open cubby-type things under the shelves and cabinets and they’re just a couple of inches off the floor, so you put their beds in there and then they have private, out of the way spots to nap, and they’re up off the cold floor. Their barn beds now are round though and I hate the idea of round bed in square cubby. Also I think I should probably get ones I can stick some Velcro on so that they don’t slide out of the cubbies when they move around or jump into them.”

“That’s smart,” her friend nodded. She picked up her phone from where it was sitting on his chest with one of his two phones, and tapped to open Chrome so she could look for cozy puppy beds.

“There’s this company in the US that sells stuff for outdoorsy people but like classy, WASPy outdoorsy people rather than redneck hunters. So think fly fishing and canoeing and a lot of subdued plaids instead of camo and neon. My mom always got the catalogue and used to buy weird and random things from them, like pencil sets. I don’t know. Anyway, they opened an actual store near one of my favorite diners and their dog beds were like the featured section. So I want to look there for- Oh, I forgot I was trying to find out about oral sex before,” Christina chuckled. The Wikipedia page for that subject was already open in a tab. She scrolled through impatiently to find the answer to her original question, which was when oral sex became “a thing”.

“What does it say? Did ancient Egyptians do 69?” Her small Spanish pillow yawned and removed his left arm from behind his head to put it around her back again. Her Googling included lifting her head off his chest and leaning away from his side just a bit. That wasn’t allowed.

“Oh my god Wikipedia actually references “facesitting”. Shocking. I’m not seeing anything about like origin though, or history. Oh wait. “In Ancient Rome, fellatio was considered profoundly taboo. Sexual acts were generally seen through the prism of submission and control. This is apparent in the two Latin words for the act: irrumare, to penetrate orally, and fellare, to be penetrated orally. Under this system, it was considered to be abhorrent for a male to perform fellatio, since that would mean that he was penetrated, parentheses controlled, whereas receiving fellatio from a woman or another man of lower social status such as a slave or debtor was not humiliating. The Romans regarded oral sex as being far more shameful than, for example, anal sex”,” she read from the phone.

“See! Even ancient Romans knew anal sex is great!” Her friend was triumphant and giggly.

“No, they knew it was not shameful. My objections are not about objectification though,” Christina argued. “It’s just literally disgusting. Not morally. Whoa this is cool. So primates sometimes get into oral sex, which is understandable I guess, but did you know fruit bats do it? It says mating pairs spend more time copulating if the female first licks the male. I find that weirdly cute.”

“I can’t stop thinking about the Valencia bat mascot getting head in the costume now.”

“This other fellatio-specific article says the Kama Sutra talks about it, and that’s form the first century AD, so I guess it’s been a thing for a long time. But the author didn’t really endorse it. How can you come up with all of those sexual positions and not think blow jobs are a good idea?” The rider put both the phone and her head back down on Juan’s chest. The device was turned sideways so that she could get a better view of the oral sex depicted in a picture in the article. “There is this plate or bowl or something with a dude blowing another dude, labeled “Depiction of fellatio on Attic red-figure kylix, circa 510 BC”. I don’t know what that is but I guess it means dudes have been blowing dudes since at least 510 BC.”

“I look forward to your in-depth written report and presentation about the history of dick sucking, cariña,” the player told her. He, like most of the people close to her, knew that when she had a question, she dug deep to answer it. She had that curiosity and that thirst for learning and knowledge.

“That’s so sexist. I would report on the history of oral sex, not just fellatio. Hindus thought cunnilingus was a means to transcending old age and death, and could lead to a state of nirvana.”

“I can believe that. I know how it feels to find a kind of nirvana between a woman’s legs.” The Chelsea man’s non-serious comment earned a non-serious eye roll. His expression then turned defensive. “What? You don’t believe me? I don’t understand why you’re always so skeptical that guys really, truly, honestly like to eat pussy. You American girls are conditioned to think guys only care about themselves in sex. Taylor is completely the same. She argues that guys who like to eat their girls only do it because they like the way the girl reacts and it makes them feel like even better lovers, so it’s like a selfish thing, and has nothing to do with us wanting to give girls pleasure too and just feeling good about it.”

“I agree with Taylor. You like giving girls pleasure because it’s you who gave it to them, because they’re reacting to you. Maybe you don’t realize that that’s what it is, but it is. You’ve even said that to me before- that you love making me orgasm because you know it’s because of you.”

“No, I’ve said that’s one of the reasons,” Juan corrected. “I have also said that I just love your reactions, and how beautiful and free and happy you look.”

“Uhhuh.” Christina was still dismissive. And more interested in shopping for dog beds than arguing. “Orvis has a dog bed selector thing, like when you do a Buzzfeed quiz and it tells you something about you. It tells you which dog bed to get.”

“Exciting.”

“Is Lucky using you as his dog bed right now?”

“He’s between my knees, and the other one is right below him. They want to make sure I can’t move.”

“It’s what they’re good at. Okay, rectangle or round, rectangle. Side bolster or no side bolster? Side bolster. They like having walls.”

“Like my knees and calves.”

“Yes. Polyester fill or memory foam? The fill probably gets lumps, but I don’t know if they even weigh enough to sink into the memory foam enough for it to be comfy. What do you think?”

“I have to shake out my featherbed all the time to get rid of the lumps. No one is going to remember to take their beds out of the shelf to fluff them up for them. Go with the memory foam.”

“Good call. Can you...” Christina paused to arch her back and wiggle about. “Can you scratch right above where your hand is? Quickly.”

“Emergency itch?” Juan did as asked and scratched a big area between the rider’s shoulder blades. She twisted into it some, and pressed her forehead into his left pectoral muscle, experiencing the intense satisfaction of having a sudden and urgent itch tended to. She even opened her mouth and kind of closed her teeth on him as she then tried to nod in affirmation. The iPhone was abandoned face down on him, and she let go of it to squeeze some of both his t-shirt and the satin quilt in her hand. Her scratching servant tugged her tank top up so he could get to her itchy skin directly, as it was evident it wasn’t just a momentary ailment. “You have a little bump, cariña. Like a hive.”

“My skin doesn’t like the amount of time it spends covered by a sweaty sports bra. I always pay extra attention to that part of my back when I shower, and I use a salty exfoliating soap, and then if I don’t moisturize after, it gets dry and itchy. I was too lazy to lather myself in lotion this afternoon. Ahh, that’s good. You can stop.” The player’s grateful appendage sighed and relaxed all of her tensed muscles, and he reverting to rubbing the small of her back instead of the previously itchy part. Having her tank pulled up meant the tips of his fingers slid just under the wide waistband of her underwear when his palm moved back and forth there. “Thank you,” she said contentedly upon returning her cheek to his shirt.

“Dog beds.”

“Oh yeah.”

Orvis didn’t have any acceptable beds on first look. In the photos of the products recommended in accordance with her selections, even large breed dogs weren’t making any kind of impression on their memory foam. It didn’t absorb them. They simply rested on top of it. Christina had to abandon the selector and just look at all the beds. There was something called the “Deep Dish Couch Bed”, and it was as plush as it sounded. It had tall bolsters on three sides, double-stacked cushions, and a water-resistant, removable microfiber cover. She left the tab open so that she could order them in the morning. For the low cost of nearly $400, Spencer and Lucky could have small-size beds in slate gray with their names embroidered on the front shipped to their future home. Their mom just couldn’t remember the address of said new home, and didn’t feel like getting up to fetch her bankcard. She did feel like browsing Instagram though while Juan was in the bathroom and she was supposed to be looking for something to watch because they were out of DVR’d episodes of Criminal Minds to not really pay attention to. André posted a picture of her and naturally the app ensured it was the first thing she saw because she liked all of his pictures and it’s designed to show you content from accounts you engage with most. The photo made her smile with happiness at first at its surface merit.

Dirk is so cuuuuute and I look okay too, she thought. It was a picture of her braiding her favorite stallion’s forelock and winking at her husband, who was obviously taking a photo of her. Christina sort of remembered thinking he was making a video, but it was from three summers back so the memory was fuzzy. It was the beginning of Dirk’s post-WEG vacation and his owners were on a sunset walk with their new puppies, very much entrenched in the kind of happiness that comes from surviving a kidnapping, bagging some silver medals at WEG, and trying really hard to get pregnant. I think I might have already been pregnant then, the rider realized. She knew when it was thanks to clues in the picture. The grass was green, the horse had his darkest and most shiny summer coat, her skin was bronze, and she could see the ties of a bikini top in a bow at the back of her neck. Their evening walk took them out to the paddocks to visit with each of the horses just turned out for the night, and the animals were all disappointed that the humans didn’t bring any treats. Christina remembered that she and her husband each had to carry one of their three-month-old puppies home from there because they were too tired from the first leg. And she got a bit lost in that memory as it became clearer, until she read the caption with André’s post.

Is he a psychic like Juanin is sometimes? This is so...so. “My North Star and her compass”, the expat read for the second time. You look for the North Star to know where you are...and you use a compass to figure out...where you’re going? Does he mean I’m his point of orientation in life, and that D-Money shows me where to go? Is he deep enough to come up with something like that? I kind of love it. He must have stolen this concept from somewhere. He’s not usually so thoughtful, and certainly not in public. Aww. This is so close to what I was thinking about before, in terms of structure in life. Awwww. Christina’s insides turned to mush and she hurried to comment on the BVB player’s post. She could have texted him, or called him back again even though he said he was going to bed when they last spoke, but she wanted the whole world to see her comment too. She wrote “I love you” and added the space rocket emoji in hopes that he would get that she meant it like a vehicle to the stars, like a vehicle he could take to get to her, his Polaris. Because of her profile’s popularity, her comment went straight to the top.

0 notes