#it's making my brain so itchy

[sysig]

He’s my little meow meow, my darling, my bbygirl (Patreon)

#Doodles #Commander Peepers #I'm soooooo normal about him you guys <3 So normal! <3 <3 #*Looking back over the other Little Guys I've collected* Hmmmmmmm Evil Xisuma and Spamton and Sableye and Rick Diggins #I think there might be a theme here #Just casually making Venn Diagrams in my head - Evil X has the red/black - Spamton is trans - Sableye has Gremlin energy - Rick is too tired #And those are just the ones I can think of lol - if you look I did the same stretchy pose with EX when I was still drawing him lol #The Stretch Pose is how you can tell if I like a character lol - they stretchin'? I am infatuated <3 #I mean I'm normal I'm totally normal lol #Also had to give him a bbygrl pose - I for the life of me cannot find it again but the reference is very strong in my mind's eye! #Not that I couldn't go for another one at some point lol ♪ #Ugh the middle one lol - so that Word of God I mentioned in passing about female Watchdogs #I read it in passing as just a basic research of ''Oh here's what The Original Creator has to say alright neat'' #Except that it Immediately made me itchy and I was like ''What. What brain this is not that big of a deal what are you doing'' #And I was like ''No I'm being silly about this - just because I don't agree doesn't mean it's a big deal lol'' #Except then I had stress dreams and woke up Weird the next day and the last time that happened I left a fandom #And the time before that I wrote 4 consecutive pages of 20-something panels in like 18 hours of consciousness - I have normal reactions lol #But I opted instead to vent to smol about it and she agreed with me so basically I'm just saying I'm correct lol /s #Personally Peepers doesn't strike me as misogynistic - he's very much an Equal Opportunity villain in my eyes! #And yeah I considered a lot of different angles around it but like - based on the text of WOY I just don't buy it #If it's not in the show it doesn't count! For all we know there might not even be any female Watchdogs! Lol #Would also lead to the equally-to-Spamton interesting question of How Does Trans Work in that kind of situation #I've definitely not already put a lot of thought into it don't look at me lol #Don't ask me to write an essay about both of those things I'll do it and where will that leave us lol #ANYway lol ♪ He's still the absolute funnest to draw in distress and discomfort <3 And kneeling! He makes me want to practice :D #I always feel like I can try again and do better! >:3c

[floweroflaurelin]

Between Empires lore and Witchcraft events and all of Limited Life I have like a bajillion awesome paintings I want to make!! but I am in finals so I can’t right now!! This kills the man

#I’m really hoping to at least make something quick and rough because my brain gets all itchy if the ideas build up with nowhere to go #soon I hope #I am Impatient. all the time I spend on idea A is time I’m not spending on idea B and so on #and right now all my time is on ‘school’ and ‘homework’ or whatever #don’t they know what really matters is mcyt fanart? cmon. #slash jay etc but I am pouting irl.

[wall-maria-around-ba-sing-se]

I love the part in Melancholia that goes very dramatically and emotionally “everything will never change!” followed by very serious echoing whispers of “everything will never change…”

because it’s not incorrect like grammatically, but it’s still also definitely not how you phrase that sentence. the singer sounds so sure of it though

#xenoblade #xenoblade chronicles x #Hiroyuki Sawano #xcx #kudos to her for saying these lines so confidently #it took me a couple listens to realize why my brain kept remembering part of the song wrong #my brain: clearly the line is ‘nothing will ever change’ #also my brain: why does it make me itchy

[keeps-ache]

hehe. crackling

#just me hi #hey do your ears crackle and get kind of uncomfortable when people yell lol #sometimes regular loud noises do it but not really #it started happening like a year or so ago and blahh hfh #and then like a chill goes down from my ears to the back of my neck ? it's weird man #do i probably know why that is? yea lmao. do i wanna speculate anyway? Yes it's fun ehehehehegh :33 #the fairies dropped some dust on my bed during one visit and now it makes my ears itchy on the inside i guess #the ocean is whispering but reception is poor #old tissue paper from some birthday some years ago is still hangin around #tv static lives in my head and goes for walks sometimes :) #the characters stored inside are opening their packages #Thought Blender 3000 (Guaranteed Blending (Max Puree)) has been invoked #my neurons are playing musical chairs #brain is doin a little jig #the possibilities... Endless......... #//anywhoooo i have GOT to write #not because i have to but because i Need to. you understand #so i'm going to see which part of the universe will decide No. Not Now when i start hbvfhs :3 #let's seee #ofc i'm going to reblog a handful of things beforehand though. it's just the way things are done lol :33 #toooooodles :>>

[thisisyoursaviourspeaking]

going off of the file they showed in the movie, it seems that Rooster didn’t enlist until he was almost 21 years old.

This would have been the same year he would’ve went to college, given he graduated in ‘09.

I could understand a gap year, given the circumstances, but three years seems like a really long time to push off something so important to him.

nobody ever said what Carole died from, but do you imagine she was sick and he put everything off to take care of her?

#him saying Mav pulling his papers set him back four years has been making my brain so itchy so I #~investigated #and in the end I came to this devastating thought™ #screaming crying on the floor #1am theories #bradley bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster #rooster bradshaw #carole bradshaw #top gun #top gun maverick #top gun: maverick #top gun: maverick spoilers #top gun maverick spoilers #are they though? #imma tag them that way until it’s on streaming

[icewindandboringhorror]

sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:

thing that I already do

thing I have tried 10 times

thing I already do

thing that I don't have the money to do

thing I already do

thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail

thing that is impossible given my situation

thing that doesn't apply to me

thing that I already do

thing I have already tried

hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently

thing I have already done

#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things #out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever #all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever #or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc. #especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple #and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already #done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and #all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you. #who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3 #my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster #talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo #I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache #or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop #e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all #sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef #t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of #way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I #think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i #gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!' #like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant #mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain #or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right #now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like #most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once #that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY #Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth

[clockworkwillow]

Tomorrow they let me out of the hospital. #watchout

#im not sick or hurt or anything i just have a stupid ass gay ass brain and theyre trying to make me have a seizure or event or episode #its an EEG. they monitoring my brain so dont worry #but also the hospital fucking sucks and my head itchy and hurt and im pissed off

[winterrose42]

The frustration of i want to do things and get things done but i dont have everything i need to fully complete it. Cant complete it so whats the point of working at all. Need to do things now so im not overwhelmed doing All Of It later. I dont have everything i need yet so i cant complete it and it looks bad. Cant complete it so whats the point-

#winter speaks #the point is i have some sort of chronic fayigue thing so foing little bits where i can instead of needing to do it all at once is necessary #but fighting against my brain for days on end to do even little things so im notbtired layer is exhausting itself #and things being so messy is triggering panic bc im gonna get in trouble even thiugh im not but oooh my god #why i hated moving why i eill hate moving and why i loathe room rearranging #itll be so.much better and object impermanence friendly and space saving plus my beds gonna be up high #and that eill be so much better mental health wise but The Process is making me want to itch my skin off #itchy itchybitchy and my head hurts and i wanna nap but i refuse and thats not good either and euuugh #and i just know my bed frame will be packed with styrofoam. the ridiculous amount of dread just from that #by march itll be done and my space will be livable agaim post depressive episode mess turned complete reorganization #and i can start my schedule things and figure shit oyt but right now i am miserable and itchy

[sixofravens-reads]

counted my 2023 TBR for the first time in a while and I'm down to 56 books!! That's a relief bc now I can quash the feeling of "omg there's no way I can read all these books before the end of the year!" I'm actually pretty much right on track.

#thinking about reading #I've made very little progress lately due to reading a bunch of comics and library books #and my brain is getting that itchy 'you're not making any progress!!' feeling #but i made so much progress in march that it didn't really matter that i didn't read much this month

[lesenbyan]

For a While I was managing to change my pillow case every week and sheets every other week and recently I've been Incapable of that and idk Why. But I finally changed my sheets. That were full of crumbs and cat fur and cigarette & weed ash.

#personal; #did so bc i NEED to shower and my brain doesn't let me sleep on clean sheets if i'm not clean #but i know if i showered first i'd not change my sheets #so now i gotta collect my ass back together to take a hot ass shower bc i've not bathed in a week or so #and i'm stinky and have so.much dead skin to scrub off that's making me itchy #and then i can do my T #and be Exhausted #just remembered i have the phone interview with social security about my disability tomorrow and hoooo boy phone anxiety setting in

[thespacelizard]

my rss reader decided apropos of nothing to just start. deleting read items.

so now i've lost a bunch of things i was saving to read for later and im mad about it

#there is no setting for this. i changed nothing. the addon hasn't updated since july #why this. #it just. decided to do this to me for no reason #so now i have to switch to manually marking as read to not lose things which means i will constantly have notifications in my toolbar #which is going to make my brain very itchy #i hope this is just a glitch. im annoyed

[soldier-poet-king]

The repressed teenage, manic post depressive episode urge to radically reinvent myself for absolutely no reason

#franposting #i kepe being like oh I'll age out of the urge and YET #im like. oh i should get another piercing #i got four in a 7month span while writing my MA thesis lmao #BUT IM RUNNING OUT OF EAR REAL ESTATE without looking crowded and my nose is already pierced #and i have to be quote unquote respectable at work #at least thats like. less permanent than a tattoo #tho i am ALSO working on designs for that #im just 👀 #actually clothes and black eyeliner wouls fix this #but eyeliner makes me SO ITCHY much to my dismay. im a baby who wears big thick glasses #anyway. yes i did listen to mcr all day at work. this is fine #i could in theory get another helix piercing #i cant do tragus bc i have weird shaped inner ears and i can barely get earbuds to work as is #im just. SCREAMS. with what idk. repressed potential #what if i want different coloured hair everyday. what then #i didnt get to do dumb shit as a teen and apparently my brain is demanding it all now #ive already lopped off my hair multiple times #my curls are only just returning now and im keeping the Bisexual Bob tm for a while #but like. AHHHHHHH. #why is my profession lowkey just. cardigan wearing conservative appearing ppl #not necessarily actually conservative #but i wanna look WILD on purpose

[izzy-b-hands]

I told myself I was gonna get one of today's prompts done but

i am staring at my word doc wrapped in a blanket thinking about showering and going to sleep instead (even tho I know my brain won't let me actually fall asleep until fuck knows when, which makes that feel like just. wasted time.)

#text post #i really don't wanna skip another day #i know that's fine and most events like this are do what you can not do every day or die in a tire fire lmao #but my brain is just. itchy at the idea of skipping another day #also went to my half finished draft for tomorrow's and guess what! It's fucking terrible! So that also needs redoing #i need my body to get out of this stress sickness slump this isn't helping me in any way #like thank u im aware of stress. making me feel like i have the flu bc im stressed isn't going to make that go away!!! #maybe if i give myself till midnight #if it hits midnight and nothing is still getting done or nothing I get down is working then i'll let myself skip today's #and will try again in redoing one of the prompts for tomorrow

[keeps-ache]

'you're too technical' no i'm not!! you're using the wrong phrase and the wrong words and equivalating two things that are nearly complete opposites and/or irrelevant to each other !!

#just me hi #do not tell me a thing and then use forms of speech that don't align i will mentally explode and sit silently for 15 minutes hvfbhs #/'you're talking back' YOU are using IRRELEVANT information as LEVERAGEEEEEE #sure you know a lot. but you are making my brain funkin ITCHY with this kind of nonsense #she said it jokingly but it really does make my brain bad-itchy hsfbs #'think before you speak' your sentence structure will be sitting on my vertebrae for days. do you understand this #actively lowering my blood count every time they say a thing that just wouldn't make any sense on paper #am I the crazy one here? probably!! but ouhghhghhghhh #//Anyway aside from the brain-itching vertebrae-vibrating blood-count annihilating things lol #i have finished chapter one at last!! only took me two days‚ which is pretty good actually!! :D #did i mention i was rewriting p.space again ? cuz i forgor loll :> #i am pretty happy with it i think ? give it a month or so hfsh #i gotta work on the last couple paragraphs and maybe just the three last pages entirely and then boom! fineshed (finished with finesse) #i'm gonna go do that right now actually lol #or might end up watching youtube‚ who knows ! the world is full of wonder and happenstances :>

[t34-mt]

important worldbuilding update

Okapies are now called Kyhuines (swift clever)

because the old name is from the outdated canon of when I used to write altuyur's biology in the pov of a human (kind of), naming animals in comparison to earth animals. As now in the current canon everything is named in the two sentient species languages

#finally my brain is free from that thing that annoyed me so much #i hate it when something is outdatedit makes me itchy #I WANT THIS SHIT TO WORK !!! #2022 #text #altuyur #worldbuilding #canon #kyhuines #okapies #speculative zoology #ill tag okapies post with their new names now #shit made me crazy i REAAAAAALY hate having outdated shit #i was thinking about this all day

[villageoracle]

i went to the barbie movie and all i got was a deep feeling of existential dread

#personal tag #barbie movie #it was so good!!! #but now im walking around in a daze just chewing it up in my head #and i think i just saw it at a really weird point in my life #but i just feel #like #i just am having such a big existential crisis #and it's weird #i know the whole thing with the movie was to show hope for this #HOWEVER #it just hit my brain at exactly the right angle to make my brain short circuit #and i feel so itchy in my skin and am rectifying eith girlhood and womanhood and also being nonbinary and how that all goes together #and the fear and the lonliness #so much lonliness that i didnt realize i was experiencing until like today #but im so lonely #and for some reason the barbie movie brought that out into my head #idk how #someone smarter should tell me #i just want to go home and ignore all the change happening but i cant go there because it no longer exists #all this to say!! #watch the barbie movie. but tread lightly