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freindly-neighbourhood-anarchist · 3 years

Text

When You Sleep Together

Dream SMP x Reader

I've got some wholesome moments for you guys because y'all deserve to be loved :) sorry if some of these are cheesy

⊰᯽⊱┈──╌❊╌──┈⊰᯽⊱

💭💚Dream💚💭

Rubbing his eyes sleepily as he stared at the chat of his stream, Clay sighed quietly to himself. He was longing for the sweet embrace of his comfy bed-sheets. As much as he loved his chat, he loved you and his bed more.

Blinking away the sleep, he shook his head to wake himself up. When he stopped himself from falling into his sleep-zombie stupor, he began to speak energetically to the stream once again.

Just as he was about to say something, the sound of his door opening made him stop. When he saw you peeking your head into his room, he muted his mic." Everything okay?" He asked, concern swirling in his deep-green eyes.

Your eyes narrowed a little from the brightness of his monitor," You're... still streaming?" You muttered tiredly, running a hand through your messy hair," It's 4 am... You need to come to bed before you die." You stated bluntly.

Chuckling lightly, Clay smiled at you," That's a bit of an exaggeration, dont ya think?" He grinned out before turning to his monitor," I just need to finish this building first and then I'll come to bed." He reassured.

Pouting at him, you walked over to him in his gaming chair. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders from behind and leaned your head in the crook of his neck. He stiffened up for a second but leaned into your touch, which told you just how tired he really was.

You brought your lips close to his ear," The bed's lonely without you..." You tried your best to sound cute before giving into your sluggish thoughts," and it's lowkey freezing without you next to me. You don't want me to die of hypothermia, right?"

Wheezing a little, he shook his head," Alright, alright. You've convinced me."

"Epic victory royale for me."

"Never say that again."

⊰᯽⊱┈──╌❊╌──┈⊰᯽⊱

🖤🔥Sapnap🔥🖤

Groaning in defeat, you closed your laptop after saving your assignment in frustration. Rubbing your eyes tiredly, you glanced at your phone and turned it on to check the time.

2:30 a.m

"Oh f-" you already knew you were gonna get shit from Nick as soon as you stepped foot into your shared bedroom.

Quickly packing your college material away, you raced upstairs quickly and made a bee-line to your bedroom. You opened the door quietly, smirking slightly when you heard the light snores coming from your boyfriend.

He was hugging a pillow close to himself, wrapped snugly within the comfy blankets. He looked like he was in heaven.

If anything, that only made you more tired.

You tiptoe to the bed and slowly crawled into the bed, trying your best to stop the groan of satisfaction from escaping your lips as soon as the blankets consumed you. You stared at Nick's peaceful face for a second before scooting closer to him for more heat.

The pillow beneath your head was so fluffy and comfortable that you were almost instantly consumed in dream-land, not before Nick stopped you.

"Did your bitchass finally give up on that dumb assignment." He muttered tiredly, replacing the pillow he was cuddling with you.

"I have to finish it tomorrow, dumbass..." You grunted out, your eyebrow slanting downwards slightly.

"Nah, fuck you. You're staying in bed with me tomorrow." He denied your statement instantly, pulling you ever closer.

"You make a good argument, I retract my statement..."

"Good."

⊰᯽⊱┈──╌❊╌──┈⊰᯽⊱

💤💙GeorgeNotFound💙💤

"Fuck yea-" You stopped your celebrating quickly as soon as you remembered that your boyfriend was literally sleeping behind you.

You had been editing a video all night, and despite his begging and whining, you just wouldnt go to bed with George. So he decided that he'd stay with you in the living room, refusing to go to bed without you.

You had protested against that, claiming that he needed his beauty sleep, which he had taken great offense to. So he sat behind you, wrapping his arms around you and placing his head in the crook of your neck, whining that he wasnt going to move until you came to bed with him.

You took this as a challenge," Aight bet." And continued to edit whilst your boyfriend was hugging you from behind.

About 10 minutes into editing, you heard George's familiar snores. You knew that he'd fall asleep quick anyways, sleeping is sort of his thing.

But now, you'd finally finished your editing and want to actually go to bed. Sighing at this dilemma and obvious karma, you closed your laptop after sending the video to Dream.

You leaned into George's heat, making him stir a little." George..." you whispered to him.

There was a lazy hum in response.

"Let's go to bed..." You muttered to him.

"....You lost that opportunity about 2 hours ago." He replied back stubbornly," It's expired."

"Oh, come on." You groaned out," If I stay in bed with you tomorrow as well, will you let us go to bed?"

He was silent.

"... Deal."

"Great, let's go, let's go."

⊰᯽⊱┈──╌❊╌──┈⊰᯽⊱

🎶💛Wilbur Soot💛🎶

"Alright, bed time. C'mon." Wilbur spoke up suddenly, making you jump from your place at your monitor.

"Wait wha-" You were interrupted as Wilbur wrapped his arms around your waist, squeezing you close to him. Your back pressed into his chest as he got you to stand up from your desk." Will, what are you-?"

"You've been editing all day. I need attention and affection." He muttered, a pout on his lips." So can we got to sleep please?" He sent you a slight grin.

"Will, this'll only take a couple of minutes." You sighed out with furrowed eyebrows.

His grin dropped," You said that an hour ago."

Your eyes widened at his words," I did?"

"You did."

"Shit." You rubbed your eyes, letting out another sigh," Jeez, I'm sorry Will... I'm an asshole." You muttered.

"Hmm.... hmmmmm thinking.... You could come to bed to sleep with me to make up for being an asshole?" He teased.

You narrowed your eyes at him playfully," you're not supposed to agree."

Laughing slightly, he wrapped his arms around you tighter," in all seriousness.... As sleepdeprived as I am, I don't want you following in my footsteps. So can we go to bed, please? I really need you in my arms right now."

You were taken aback by his confession but you could only give into his charms after he sent you a soft-eyed smile." Oh, alright."

"Thank fuck. Jesus, please never make me wait as long as you did tonight again."

"Noted."

⊰᯽⊱┈──╌❊╌──┈⊰᯽⊱

⭐👑Eret👑⭐

"Can we go to bed now?" You whined as Eret finally finished streaming." Jeez, it's like you love your chat more than me."

Eret laughed deeply at your words and shook their head," You know that's not trueee~" he sang out cutely." You have my heart, [Y/N], don't worry."

You couldn't stop the stop the soft smile from replacing your pout, your eyes softening at her." Aww.... Ali, you're so sweet to me... and you're super cheesy." You awed out, finding their response to be genuinely adorable.

" Ali? Sheesh, and you call me cheesy. Look in the mirror, love." He teased, finally turning his monitor off and making their way over to you. She towered over you, you've always compared them to a big friendly giant who loves to cuddle.

Sending her a teasing grin and a suggestive eyebrow raise, you spread your arms open for him to hug you," Bed time?"

They grinned slightly and wrapped their arms around you securely, squeezing you tightly against his chest in a loving hug." Bed time..."

"Finally."

"Were you really waiting that long?" She teased, getting your messy head of [H/C] hair." Aww, if I had known that, I would've ended earlier."

You hit him playfully," You suck, loser."

"Love you too, dear."

⊰᯽⊱┈──╌❊╌──┈⊰᯽⊱

(This one's a bit long lol.)

👑🐷Technoblade🐷👑

You let out a another yawn as you shivered lightly in the cold of the snowy area you and Techno lived in.

Your boyfriend had gone to the nether a couple of hours ago to collect wither skulls for 'decoration' but you already knew what he was scheming inside that chaotic head of his.

You've been waiting for about 5 hours in the freezing cold. Of course you've made yourself useful around the house, tending to the farm and gathering more materials overall.

Tommy helped here and there, but he was mostly gathering materials for himself.

Now you were beginning to worry for your boyfriend, he's been gone for so long.

So you decided to sit at the doorstep, a blanket wrapped around yourself and a hot cup of cocoa, refusing to fall asleep until you found out that Techno was okay.

Tommy had sat with you for an hour or so before he retired to his bed, stating," Techno's being a bitch. Not worth the time waiting for him." And then he left.

You had laughed at the teen's grumpiness towards Techno, but you didnt agree with him.

Techno was worth waiting for.

He always will be.

Taking another sip from your cocoa, you leaned your head against the door, blinking so that you're eyes wouldnt close due to fatigue and tiredness.

The steaming hot cocoa in your hands reminded you of the warm bed you share with Techno. How the fire would crackle and the smell of burning wood and berries filled the home. The blankets were huge and warm and would just consume you and Techno. How he stays up at night to read some history book and tell you about greek mythology.

"Fuck I miss him..." You muttered, your teeth chattering whic prompted you to wrap your blankets closer around you.

"Miss who?"

You jumped at the familiar voice, making you drop your hot cocoa. You looked up at the owner and your lip twitched a little," You're an asshole."

Techno raised an eyebrow down at you, taking off his pig mask to talk to you properly." HEH? What have I done??" He mumbled, silently outraged.

"Do you know how long I've been waiting here?? 5 hours, Techno!! I'm surprised I havent gotten hypothermia yet!" You exclaimed, standing from your spot on the doorstep," You even made me spill my cocoa!!"

Pouting like a child, your boyfriend narrowed his red eyes at you," How is the fact you spilled your cocoa my fault?"

You gave him a,' bitch, really?' Look and it made him reconsider his words.

"Oh wait a minute, I guess that is kinda my fault, huh? Ehhhh, its fiiiiine." He waved a hand dismissively and walked passed you to get into the house, throwing his red Cape off and then placing his items into a chest." So... you missed me, eh? I mean... I would too if I were you but... y'know."

You knew he was fishing for affection or gratitude, but you knew better than that. You were still angry at him.

"Wow, quite the ego on you." You rolled your eyes," and who said it was you that I was missing?"

Techno didnt look at you, he continued placing his items in his chest," Well.... who else would you miss?" He questioned carefully.

"Phil."

He turned to you, staring before shrugging," Yeah, that's pretty valid. I miss him too."

You groaned at his stubborn nature and sat down in a chair, rubbing your temples," You're such a pain." You muttered.

Techno froze at your words, finally sensing your distress. When he had finished putting his items away, he turned to your brooding form, a light frown upon his face. He walked over to you and gulped, his eyebrows furrowing with frustration. He really really wasnt one for comforting others, hes always found it hard to do so. That's what social anxiety does to you.

He placed a hand on your head, petting it lightly and awkwardly." Look.... I'm sorry."

You froze at his words and slowly looked up at him, an expectant look upon your face.

Techno took his hand from your head, prompting to cross his arms instead," I know that you were worried, I shouldve taken that into consideration. But ya need to understand that I'm strong, [Y/N]. You dont need to worry for my safety at all, I can handle myself."

You frowned a little before sighing," You know I worry because I love you." You stated simply, looking down at your shoes.

The male's cheeks heated up a little and he nodded," 'course..." he grumbled bashfully.

Lips twitching into a slight smile, you stood from your chair and grabbed both of his hands gently, intertwining his fingers with yours." Well... I'm glad you're safe... I missed you a lot."

Techno's face only reddened even further as he completely avoided eye contact with you, his palms growing sweaty but refusing to let go of your smaller and softer hands." U-uh... wanna know another reason why you shouldnt worry about me dyin'?" He's trying his best to hide the fact he was embarrassed.

You grinned slightly and leaned a little closer to him," Yeah. Tell me."

He looked deeply into your eyes, his face still flushed. He leaned a little closer to your face, his ruby-red eyes swirling with an emotion you couldnt quite put your finger on.

Your eyes flicker down to his lips as he began to speak, his hot breath hitting your own lips.

"Because Technoblade never dies."

You pulled yourself from him instantly," You just ruined the romantic moment. AGAIN." You stated simply.

He huffed out a laugh at your exclaim," Aww c'mon it was funny! Please tell me I'm funny--"

"You're not funny. I'm going to bed, bye." You then walked away from him, Techno trailed behind you with a shit-eating grin on his lips.

"You know I still have 3 canon lives left as well, right?"

"I am now choosing to no longer understand english." You replied simply.

"Ok, nerd."

⊰᯽⊱┈──╌❊╌──┈⊰᯽⊱

🐏🖤Jschlatt🖤🐏

"The fuck are you up so late for." It was more of a statement than a question.

You looked up at your floating boyfriend in all of his blue sweater and ram-horned glory." You're up late too, dumbass." You shot back, downing another cup of coffee.

"[Y/N]... I'm a fuckin' ghost. You think I need sleep? Use your head woman." He insulted as he floated behind you, peeking over your shoulder to see what you were up too.

You seemed to be writing something in a book, he couldnt really read it though so he leaned onto your back, leaning his chin on your shoulder. His eyes skimmed over the words and he scowled a little.

"What the hell are you s'posed to be writing." He grumbled out.

"It's just a book for the different materials Alex told me to gather." You stated simply, leaning your head against his slightly.

"Good idea. Knowin' you, your dumbass would probably forget." He hummed out," But why waste your time on this when you could be sleeping."

Frowning with furrowed eyebrows, you continued to write in the book," I mean... its Alex. I dont wanna let the guy down, he's the vice president."

"Eh... Whose Alex again? He the one with the flatty patty?"

You buried your face in your hands, holding in a laugh." You're an idiot..." You muttered out, trying to contain your laughter.

"Takes one to know one asshole." Schlatt responded, floating away from you and to your bed. He lay on top of it comfortably," OoOoOoh~ look at how comfortable this fuckin' bed looks [Y/N]~ mm yes, comfy comfy, yes very comfy."

Smiling a little, you turned to him and raised an eyebrow," You sure its comfy?"

He was silent for a moment before he nodded," trust me. You know what they call me?"

You rolled your eyes, sighing slightly,"... what do they call you..."

"The bed master."

"You fucking-" You're sentence cut off as you broke out into a laugh. Schlatt couldnt stop the slight smile from crossing over his lips at successfully cheering you up.

"This is a very comfy bed. You should try it out with me, right now." It was more of a threat than a suggestion.

"How can I trust you though?..."

"Maybe if you try the bed out for yourself you can decide whether it's comfy or not, fuckin' moron."

You stared at him with a deadpan expression before giving in," you make a valid point. You win this argument." Standing from the table, you walked over to your bed and flopped onto it next to Schlatt.

He stared down at you expectantly;" Well? Was I right or was I right?"

You moved around on the bed a little, and sighed," .....It feels like I'm lying on a fucking cloud...." you gave up.

Schlatt shot you a shit-eating grin," Right?? The bed master strikes once again." Then his smile dropped," Dont ever fuckin' question me again."

"Gotcha."

He turned a little in the bed and threw an arm over you, pulling you close to him. You stared up at him with a confused gaze, which made him roll his eyes." Gonna help you sleep." He grunted out.

"Ahhh... Okay." You snuggled a little closer to him." Thank you for existing, Schlatt."

"At least one of us are happy I exist." He deadpanned.

"Hey Schlatt? Did you fall from heaven, cause you look like you fell- wait I messed that up."you silently cursed to yourself.

"You fucking loser."

"Lemme try again... Did you fall from heaven? Cause you look like an angel."

"... That makes no fucking sense. Are you comparing me to Satan then? He was the angel that fell from heaven." He looked slightly offended." I'll have you know that I am a devoted Catholic-"

You deadpanned when he wouldnt accept the pick-up line and gave up,"... You're hot." you stated bluntly.

"I know. Goodnight."

⊰᯽⊱┈──╌❊╌──┈⊰᯽⊱

❤🦆Quackity🦆❤

"Fuuuuck... I'm so fucking tired chat." Alex laughed out slightly, trying his best to contain another yawn. His chat instantly began to complain to him, telling him to hurry up and end the stream then. " aww... you all care so much for me." He fake cried." I dont deserve you guys."

MikeHawk: GO TO BED YOU SMALL MAN

Likywastaken: GO SLEEP ASSHOLE

He snorted at the comment," Wow, are y'all hitting on me orrr? Hit me up." He joked teasingly, a slight grin upon his lips.

The familiar sound of,' Me perdonas' came through his headset, indicating he had received a donation.

Duh_Itz_y/n has donated $4.20

Go the fuck to bed you bitch <3

His eyes lit up at your familiar twitch name and he chuckled lightly." Y/N, my love, you have such a way with words." He stated sarcastically, ignoring how his chat started spamming your name." Thanks for the dono but you literally can just call me on discord, fucking idiot."

And just like that, his discord went off, it made him jump in his gaming chair. He covered it up with a cough and answered the call," Hola hermosa."

"Did you just fucking jump when I called you?"

He sputtered," The fuck??? No. You're tripping."

"YOU DID. You're such a pussy boy."

"Yes, I am a pussy boy because I attract all the puss-"

"Stop talking." You interrupted," Why arent you asleep Alex? I don't know if you knew this buuut, 2 am is usually the time when people should be sleeping." You stated, snarky and teasing.

"If you wanted to get me alone you shouldve just said so, babe." He stated simply, you could hear the shit-eating grin in his voice.

He heard you laugh from the other side, making his heart flutter in his chest." I wish I was there but Mexico is like hours away." You muttered.

"Why are you awake? You've been going off to me but it's late where you are too."

"It's cause I was watching your shitass stream. I'm such a dedicated girlfriend, arent I? I just love you so much." You laughed out.

"Aww, you're such a simp for me..." Alex pressed a hand to his cheek embarrassingly, mocking that he was flustered." Should I just end the stream now then. I wanna talk to you now."

"Now you're the one wanting to get me alone Hmm?"

"Yeah, at least I can admit it. Looks like you're the pussy here." He spat your words right back at you.

"End the stream."

"Yes ma'am."

"Pfft, and you say you arent a fucking bottom." You teased.

"Y/N, I am still strEAMING-"

#dream smp x you #jschlatt x reader #dream smp x reader #quackity x reader #wilbur x reader #wilbur soot x reader #eret x reader #dream x reader #sapnap x reader #georgenotfound x reader #technoblade x reader #mcyt x reader

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afroherbalism · 4 years

Text

"Emma Dupree (1897-1992) was an influential black herbalist from Falkland and Fountain, in Pitt County in North Carolina. She was known locally as “granny woman.”

Because she prays, she brews herbs. Because she brews herbs, she heals. Because she heals, she is the undisputed sage of Pitt County. They say her home remedies can quiet a colicky baby, cure a mean cold and scare lice off a hog.

"All that we see, everything that is growin' in the earth," Emma says, "is healin' to the nation of any kind of disease."

She was the daughter of freed slaves and grew up on the Tar River. She was known for her work with native herbs: Sassafras, white mint, double tansy, rabbit tobacco, maypop, mullein, catnip, horseradish, and silkweed.

Here is an excerpt from an article published shortly after her death:

"From the time she could walk, Emma felt drawn to the land. She would roam the woods, plucking, sniffing, tasting weeds. She grew up that way, collecting the leaves, stems, roots and bark of sweet gum, white mint, mullen, sassafras in her coattail or a tin bucket. She'd tote them back to the farm, rinse them in well water and tie them in bunches to dry. In the backyard, she'd raise a fire under a kettle and boil her herbs to a bubbly froth, then pour it up in brown-necked stone jugs: A white-mint potion for poor circulation; catnip tea for babies with colic; tansy tea - hot or cold - for low blood sugar; mullein tea for a stomach ache. Mixed with molasses or peppermint candy to knock out the bitterness. Her kind of folk medicine dates back centuries. In the 1600s, African slaves brought root-doctor remedies to America. Indians and immigrants had cure-alls, too. In some rural areas, scattered herbalists still practice."

She was born on July 4, 1897, the seventh among 18 siblings, Emma Williams Dupree grew up on the Tar River and was known in her family as "that little medicine thing" because of her early understanding of herbs.

Her parents, Pennia and Noah Williams, were freed slaves farming in Falkland, NC.

She told an interviewer in 1979 that her mother remembered being "on the porch of the old Wooten's farm home when freedom came. She was 16 when Mr. and Mrs. Wooten walked out on that porch and told her she was 'as free as they were, but they loved her just the same.'"

She was married for one year to Ethan Cherry, a farmer. She divorced him and remarried another farmer, Austin Dupree, Jr., who was born in 1892. Emma and Austin moved to Fountain, NC in 1936 and had five children, whose ages in the 1930 U.S. Census are indicated in parentheses: Lucy (12), Herbert (9), John (5), Doris (3), and Mary (1).

They remained married until his death at age 90. She died at home, at 3313 N. Jefferson St, Fountain, on March 12, 1996. She is buried at Saint John's Missionary Baptist Church Cemetery, in Falkland,NC.

Emma Dupree's "garden-grown pharamacy" included sassafras, white mint, double tansy, rabbit tobacco, maypop, mullein, catnip, horseradish, silkweed and other plants from which she made tonics, teas, salves and dried preparations. These were cultivated in her yard and gathered from the banks of the Tar River. She told Karen Baldwin that she grew a special tree in her back yard, which she called her "healing berry tree."

She explained, "Now that tree, I don't know of another name for it, but it's in the old-fashioned Bible and the seed for it came from Rome." She also told Baldwin of being an especially alert baby: "They said I was just looking every which way. And I kept acting and moving and doing things a baby didn't do. And I walked early. I was walking at seven months old, just as good and strong. When I got so I got out doors, I went to work. I was pulling up weeds, biting them, smelling in them, and spitting them out. And folks in them days, they just watched me, watched what I was doing.

Awards and Recognition

In 1984, Dupree was awarded the Brown-Hudson Award by the North Carolina Folklore Society, recognizing her as an individual who contributed significantly to the transmission, appreciation and observance of traditional culture and folk life in North Carolina.

In 1992, Dupree received the North Carolina Heritage Award, lifetime achievement recognition for outstanding traditional artists in North Carolina

NOTE:

Here is a link to a video of Mrs Emma Dupree being interviewed by students of the ECU medical research department. This video is Produced by the office of Health Services Research and Development, School of Medicine, East Carolina University.

It is 40 minutes long.

Link: https://digital.lib.ecu.edu/58575?fbclid=IwAR1e22I8_vRfvzI0nZXDBT8XG7Z-4DgiNykjqsbPD8hoD2Aw8haC2uI8vvo#details

Source;https://digital.lib.ecu.edu/ncpi/view/5581

Source:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emma_Dupree

---

Herbalist, 94, Lets Nature Heal

by Paige Williams Feb 20, 1992

Before her came African root doctors and Indian medicine men. People believed their mystical potions could cure body and soul and sometimes they could. Some modern medicines still use herbal derivatives. Few old-time herbalists like Emma are left in North Carolina. Hospitals first forced her kind out of business. Death is finishing the job. Emma Dupree's hanging tough, though, pushing 10 decades. She takes the tonic, see. Drinks it like water. She jumps out of her chair, props fists on her waist and swivels her hips Hula-Hoop style. She holds both hands out flat and squirms her wrinkled fingers all around, crossing and uncrossing, like she's making a million wishes. No arthritis there.

"There's something to that stuff," said her granddaughter, Sandra White.

Joe Exum, town grocer, keeps a Crown Royal bourbon bottle under the front seat of his pickup truck. It holds the slimy remnants of Emma's tonic: oily brown syrup that looks like tobacco spit, stings the nose like paint thinner and tastes like pine tar smells.

"I'd pay $50 for a bottle right now," Exum said. "Two swallers and it'll knock the sore throat right out." He's waiting for Emma to brew another batch. She stewed her last at Christmas. She used to make the tonic right steady, every day almost, the way she learned 80 years ago, when the woods first called her.

Pitt County borders the Pamlico River 80 miles east of Raleigh. Its largest town is Greenville, the county seat, population

44,972. One of its smallest is Fountain, population 445, founded in 1900 on the western rim. Emma Dupree was Emma Williams then, a 3-year-old growing up the daughter of freed slaves on a farm 9 miles east in Falkland, where she was born the Fourth of July, 1897. Emma was the knee baby, second from the youngest of seven girls and four boys, and always hanging on her mama's knee. Early on, Pennia and Noah Williams knew she was nature's child. From the time she could walk, Emma felt drawn to the land.

She would roam the woods, plucking, sniffing, tasting weeds. She grew up that way, collecting the leaves, stems, roots and bark of sweet gum, white mint, mullen, sassafras in her coattail or a tin bucket. She'd tote them back to the farm, rinse them in well water and tie them in bunches to dry. In the backyard, she'd raise a fire under a kettle and boil her herbs to a bubbly froth, then pour it up in brown-necked stone jugs: A white-mint potion for poor circulation; catnip tea for babies with colic; tansy tea - hot or cold - for low blood sugar; mullen tea for a stomach ache. Mixed with molasses or peppermint candy to knock out the bitterness. Her kind of folk medicine dates back centuries. In the 1600s, African slaves brought root-doctor remedies to America. Indians and immigrants had cure-alls, too. In some rural areas, scattered herbalists still practice.

"It's dying out," says Charles Reagan Wilson of the Center for the Study of Southern Culture at the University of Mississippi. "People more and more rely on modern science." Pitt County's got both. Modern medicine and Emma Dupree. Her school was God's school; her classroom, the land. While the other children played, she picked herbs. Sometimes she caught the other children talking about her: "There comes that ol' rovin' gal. Reckon where she goin' now?" Yet they always followed her.

When Emma was about 20, she married Ethan Cherry, a farmer. It lasted about a year. The story goes that Cherry went one wisecrack too far about how many women it takes to satisfy a man. Emma whacked him with a chair. Knocked him out cold. Then she divorced him. "He wasn't no good husband." She married another farmer, Austin Dupree. They moved to Fountain in 1936. Old age killed him in the the early 1970s. He was nearly 90. Of Emma's five children, only Doris, 66, is left. She lives next door to Emma's little white-and-green house on Jefferson Street, a longtime magnet to the afflicted.

Herbs' earthy aroma herbs brewed day and night. Their warm earthy aroma filled the whole house. Emma poured her tonic up in glass vinegar jugs and canning jars and kept it in a pantry off the kitchen. Somebody was always knocking on the front door. Emma would fetch it: "Now you take this with faith because it's not me. I'm just the instrument." She never set a price. People paid what they could, sometimes $5, sometimes $30. "It was a common thing for people to literally be waiting in line," said White, 38, the granddaughter Emma raised. People sought advice, too. They'd bang on the door, pull her aside: "Can I talk to you?" Fountain's own Ann Landers. "You can tell her a problem and she can work it out so it don't seem so bad," White said.

Some, she couldn't help. Once, a young girl dying of leukemia and weary of doctors showed up at Emma's door. Emma suspected it was hopeless. Still, she couldn't say no. She gave her the tonic. "I don't want to make her sound like a saint," White said, "but she tried to help everybody." Emma won't take the credit. "Whatever your talent, whatever you is, you come with it," she said. "When you come into this world, God's done fixed you with what you got to do." To townspeople, she's "Aunt Emma."

In December, they made her grand marshal of the Fountain Christmas parade, all two blocks of it. She waved from the back of the long white limousine borrowed from the local funeral home. Only the best for the sage of Pitt County.

Source:https://www.tulsaworld.com/archives/herbalist-lets-nature-heal/article_3b0e06d1-4af9-5567-93ee-bc4b50d5867f.html

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letterboxd · 3 years

Photo

The Other Bill and Ted.

As No Man of God hits theaters and VOD following its Tribeca premiere in June, director Amber Sealey talks to Dominic Corry about her Ted Bundy two-hander and answers our Life in Film questions.

Amber Sealey has been very acknowledging of the fact that her new film is one of many to center around the horrific crimes of serial rapist and murderer Ted Bundy. As she outlined in her Tribeca Q&A with Letterboxd, one way she intended No Man of God to stick out from the pack was through the use of consciously silent background characters who represent Bundy’s voiceless victims.

The structure and source of the film also help distinguish it from other Ted Bundy movies: No Man of God is based on the recordings of FBI agent Bill Hagmaier (played in the film by Elijah Wood), who was tasked with interviewing an incarcerated Bundy in the years leading up to his execution, in order to help determine whether or not he was criminally insane, which could’ve helped to remove Bundy from death row.

With many of Bundy’s victims never officially attributed to the killer, Hagmaier also sought to draw confessions, and something resembling remorse, out of Bundy, to help bring closure to those victims’ families. As detailed in the film, much of which was taken directly from transcripts of the interviews, Bundy and Hagmaier’s relationship was complicated, and the intimacy that develops between them informs No Man of God in often uncomfortable ways.

Luke Kirby and Elijah Wood in a scene from ‘No Man of God’.

Wood (also a producer on the film) and Luke Kirby turn in career-high work as Hagmaier and Bundy, respectively, while Sealey textures the film with some of the most emotive stock-footage montage sequences this side of The Parallax View. Among positive reactions to the film, Claira Curtis, in a four-star review, writes: “Perhaps one of the most successful elements lies in Amber Sealey’s uncentering of the ‘genius’ moniker that has followed Bundy through his years of infamy.” On the pairing of Wood and Kirby in the leading roles, Connor Ashdown-Ford notes that “the chemistry between them both is so authentic it’s darn right unsettling”.

Unsettling is right. Late in the film, Sealey depicts a real-life TV interview that took place between Bundy and evangelical preacher/author/psychologist James Dobson (played by stalwart character actor Christian Clemonson), who uses Bundy to forward his anti-pornography agenda. Throughout this scene, the camera lingers on a young female member of the TV crew (played by an uncredited Hannah Jessup) as she silently reacts to being in Bundy’s presence. Emblematic of Sealey’s aforementioned philosophy in constructing the film, it’s a moment that appears to be having an impact on audiences, as detailed in Nolan Barth’s review: “She might have one of my favorite performances of this year? She shows us fascination, guilt, disgust and fear in like only 30 seconds of screen time. Give her an Oscar. Please.”

In an awkward incident that represents a perhaps unanticipated effect of there being so many contemporaneous movies with the same subject matter, director Joe Berlinger (Metallica: Some Kind of Monster, the Paradise Lost trilogy), who recently directed both the Zac Efron-starring scripted Ted Bundy biopic Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile and the documentary Conversations with a Killer: The Ted Bundy Tapes, sent an email to Sealey ahead of No Man of God’s Tribeca premiere about remarks she had made while discussing how her film differentiated itself from the existing Ted Bundy movies. He felt she had accused him of glorifying Bundy. After Sealey took the exchange public, she explained to Variety that she had never singled out Berlinger’s films in any of her remarks.

In a conversation with Letterboxd, Sealey delves into her approach to No Man of God, and talks about some of her filmic inspirations.

‘No Man of God’ director Amber Sealey.

There is really effective and creepy use of stock-footage montages in this film. Sometimes you see that sort of thing at the beginning of a film, but it’s interesting that you keep going back to them after using them in the opening credits. What was the thinking in using those montages and how did you select the footage? Amber Sealey: The thinking for those was a couple things: One, we don’t leave the prison, and I wanted [the audience] to know a little bit what’s going on outside, in terms of the cultural zeitgeist, like what’s the tone of the time? What movies are popular? What books are popular? What are people wearing? I wanted to have there be a kind of cultural touchstone outside of the prison, but at the same time I wanted it to represent potentially a little bit of what was going on inside Bill’s mind. So the story of the montages as they go on, it gets a little bit more fucked up, for lack of a better word, for Bill, inside of his head.

We were originally going to shoot the crowd scenes [of protesters outside the prison] and recreate them and then because of Covid restrictions, we couldn’t do that anymore. So then I knew we were going to be using archival footage for the crowd, and I didn’t want the archival crowd footage to suddenly jump out as being so different from the rest of our film. We’re shooting on an ARRI camera, [so it’s] not going to look like a Hi-8 from the 1980s. I needed to incorporate this look, this ’80s grainy look into the rest of the movie so that it feels like it’s part and parcel of the film, part of the storytelling.

We got [the footage] in different ways. I have an old friend that I’ve known since I was like, two, he lived next door to me, and my cousin, they both had video cameras in the ’80s and would film everything. So some of that footage is old family footage of their family or friends. There’s a couple shots in there of my neighbors when I was growing up. Then some of it, we did a lot of research on [stock-imagery services] Getty and Pond5, just finding archival footage that we could use that really told the story that we wanted to tell with the montages. It was a lengthy process finding all of that footage for sure.

What was Bill Hagmaier’s involvement in the film? Bill is an executive producer on the film, so he was very involved. The transcripts of those conversations between Bill and Ted, we got from Bill. Bill gave us so much great stuff to work with—the newer FBI files that he was allowed to share with us and the recordings, and when the script was originally written it was written based off of those recordings, and the writer originally spoke to Bill and then when I came on board, I talked to him and then I changed the script, even more from conversations I had with him. He was just a resource.

Almost every [character] you see on screen, those are real people, and he hooked us up with a lot of those real people. I spoke with the prison guards and the wardens and all of that. Then he was just a resource in terms of like, I would ask him, “what color were your shoes?” “Did you carry this kind of briefcase or that kind of briefcase?” Because it was important to me that all that production-design stuff was really authentic. I liked to know, like, “what were your haircuts like then, Bill?” So he was available to talk about the emotional side of things, and then the real just humdrum kind of things. He’s just a lovely guy, he’s really supportive of me and of the film and he just wanted to be accessible as much as he could and he was. He’s a very humble, generous person.

Aleksa Palladino plays civil-rights attorney Carolyn Lieberman to Luke Kirby’s Ted Bundy.

What films did you watch, or cite as reference points in preparation for No Man of God? Literally hundreds and hundreds of movies. When I’m looking for my creative look, I just watched so many films, and a lot of old films. I’d have to go back and look at my look book to tell you all of them but I pull images from the weirdest places. But once I get past figuring out the creative look of the film, I don’t then like to watch the movies a lot because I try to really make it its own thing and I worry too much that I’ll be copycatting other artists and I want to try [to] avoid that.

What’s your favorite true-crime movie? Oh god, what was the one about the guy who like, went to the bathroom and confessed, accidentally? He forgot his mic was on? Do you remember that one?

The Jinx? Yeah. Even though it’s a documentary, I’m going to go with that.

What’s your favorite big-screen serial-killer performance? It has to be Luke Kirby. Luke Kirby as Bundy.

What was the first horror film you saw? My dad had me watch Cat People when I was nine. Does that count?

The Val Lewton one? The ’80s one.

Oh, the Paul Schrader one? Yes! The Paul Schrader one.

Nastassja Kinski in Paul Schrader’s ‘Cat People’ (1982).

When you were nine years old? Yeah. I also watched Blue Velvet when I was nine. Oh wow, thank you Dad.

What’s the most disturbing film you’ve ever seen? Most disturbing, hmm… Kids.

What film made you want to become a filmmaker? It was Michael Winterbottom’s Nine Songs. My first film was a reaction to that movie. I’m a huge Winterbottom fan. That’s a great movie, but also it advertises itself as being a real relationship and real sex and I watched it and I was like, well that’s not like any… it was like two models, you know? Their sex scenes were like a perfume ad and I was like, well that’s not what real sex looks like for real people. I made my first feature after that.

What’s your go-to comfort movie? Oh, so many, let’s think. The Proposal. I love Trainwreck. I really like rom-coms, like if I’m sick or something, I’ll watch rom-coms. Roman Holiday, stuff like that.

What’s a classic that you couldn’t get into or that you think is overrated? Umm. Star Wars. I’m trying to think, there’s something else that I just don’t like… everyone loves that singing movie. What’s that singing movie that when Moonlight won the Oscar, it got announced?

La La Land. Yeah. I was not into that.

What filmmaker living or dead do you envy/admire the most? Yorgos Lanthimos. Or Phoebe Waller-Bridge.

If you were forced to remake a classic movie, what would you remake? Grease.

Who would be in the cast of your Grease remake? Oh I don't even know but it would be much darker. It would still be a musical and still be funny, but much darker.

I would like to see that movie. I would too.

Related content

Diego’s list of films featuring the FBI

Boris1980’s list of films about serial killers

Follow Dominic on Letterboxd

‘No Man of God’ is in theaters and on VOD from August 27, 2021.

#amber sealey #luke kirby #elijah wood #ted bundy #bill hagmaier #fbi #serial killer #thriller #courtroom #fbi movies #letterboxd

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purplesurveys · 3 years

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1044

survey by a7xbabii

Do you use e-mail often? I use it for eight hours, five days a week for work, so yes.

Do you hear any animals right now? I’m in a Starbucks inside a mall situated in the middle of a busy highway. It would be very unlikely to hear any animals right now.

Are you in a well-lit room? Sure, I’d say this establishment has good lighting. There’s no light directly above me unlike the other seats, but it’s okay in this case as I don’t want other people seeing me take surveys.

Is your trashcan full? The main one we use at home just got full, so the last time I checked this morning my mom was airing it out.

What was the last crunchy thing you consumed? My chicken barbecue sandwich from last night.

Did you view anything disturbing today? Hmm, I guess so? I wanted to entirely redo one part of my embroidery piece since I wasn’t happy with how I did it, so I had to remove the threads and stuff. When they were all gone the template was filled with holes and it looked like one of those trypophobia photos. I’m not personally disturbed by that phenomenon, but I know a lot of people are.

Are there any holiday decorations in your house? Yeah, we’ve had our Christmas tree up since the beginning of November. We also usually put a wreath up our door but idk why my mom didn’t this year.

When was the last time you had a terrible headache? Last night, because I had not eaten all day.

Have you recently put lotion on your hands? No. I don’t like the feeling of lotion, so I don’t apply it on me a lot, if at all.

Are you hungry? Not so much, actually. I don’t feel too hungry today; I didn’t even finish my breakfast and that’s the only meal I’ve had so far today, and it’s already 4 PM.

Is it rainy where you're at right now? No, it’s quite fair. The sun’s not too strong anymore because of the time, but it’s still very much bright out.

Do you carry a purse? If so, describe what it looks like. I take a wallet with me. It’s pink, made of fake leather, has three main slots inside, and it also has some tiny bite marks on the outer edges from when Cooper was a lot younger.

Is your cell phone on vibrate? For certain notifications only, like texts and Viber.

Is your dishwasher full? We don’t use a dishwasher.

When is the last time you saw someone you like/love. Around a week and a half ago.

Do you like to wear gloves? No, I find them too itchy and I don’t need to wear them anyway.

Is there a body of water near where you live? There’s a creek that passes through my village near the clubhouse area, if that counts.

What are your thoughts on Avenged Sevenfold? No opinion. I never listened to them; though I am reminded of this one mutual I used to have on Tumblr/Twitter. She used to be a wrestling fan and was a part of our main circle, but she gradually shifted her main fandom to Avenged Sevenfold. By the time she cemented her new interest she then went on a huge unfollowing spree of wrestling fans on her feed and she apparently PM’d each person she intended to unfollow, including me. I remember her explaining that she was now in a different fandom and was gonna have to stop following me which I found...kinda extra to be honest lmao because nobody does that, but I appreciate the effort to approach each one of us, I guess.

Are you wearing anything pink right now? Nope, but my wallet is pink and so is my keyboard cover.

Do you like to swim in the ocean? I prefer beaches, but sure.

What is the creepiest bug you've ever saw? Cockroaches.

Do you currently have split ends? I don’t think so.

When is the last time you used the bathroom? Around five hours ago when I took a shower before heading out.

Do you chew on your lip? Almost never.

Are you afraid of needles? For the most part yeah, especially syringes. I’m not afraid of them when I do my embroidery, but that’s the only time I feel comfortable with a needle.

What is the last thing you lost? A pen, I think.

When is the last time you saw a bald person? Five hours ago, when I said bye to my dad.

What car were you last in? [continued from two days ago] My own. I was driving home from the mall.

Do you like Batman? I tried to get into Batman and the whole shebang of comic books when I was a teenager, but I just couldn’t.

Have you ever played tennis? Never have, actually. I’ve always wanted to try.

Can you see a star shape in the room you are in? Probably not in my bedroom.

What are you sitting on? A pillow I’ve placed on my work chair so that it’s more comfortable. My parents got me a basic chair initially meant just for my internship, so it’s not the comfiest of chairs haha. But now that I have a job, a more suitable work chair is probably one of things I’ll have to invest on.

What is the last warm thing you touched? My chest felt itchy just a few seconds ago, so I was able to feel my skin scratching it.

Do you use hand sanitizer? That’s kind of a necessity now, so...

Where do you want to go in life? [continued from...I don’t even remember anymore] I don’t know if I even plan to make it past 30 at this point. I can’t answer this right now.

Are you sweating? No, I’ve been in air-conditioned rooms all day and it feels so damn good.

When is the last time you had to scratch an itch? A few minutes ago when my neck itched.

Are you in any kind of club or group that is trying to save animals? No, but I very much support the cause.

Who is the last blonde you saw? At work today I saw someone who had her hair dyed blonde.

Where were you two hours after you got up, and what were you doing there? I needed to go to the office today because my team and I needed to pack some stuff to seed to certain media. It was the first time I got to visit the place and it was sooooooo homey and pretty :) I wish we can be allowed to work in the office soon; it would be best for my mental health at this point.

Do you wish for world peace? Um, of course.

Have you ever played fetch with a dog? We were able to teach Cooper how to pick up items that we throw but he’s still slowly learning that he actually has to give it back to us, haha.

What is the nearest object that is wood? The table I am typing on is made of wood.

Do you use Netflix? Yes, we have a family subscription.

Does your house have a fireplace? No, we don’t. And I can confidently tell you all other houses in this entire country, and probably the whole of Southeast Asia, don’t.

Do you wake yourself up in the morning, or does someone else? I wake myself up. On important days, I’ll put an alarm on.

What kind of hoodie did you last wear? It was a white hoodie with a UP seal on the left side.

Do you play games on your computer? No, my laptop isn’t equipped for games. I tried downloading Sims 4 when they made it free for a few weeks back in 2018, but my laptop’s fan started whirring like crazy and the battery got drained super fast. The entire period of me booting it up and then deleting it took like, a literal 15 minutes.

What is the last video game that you played? Mario Kart 8 on the Switch. I want to get myself Switch games as gifts, but I’m just so stingy towards myself hahaha.

Have you ever pet a stingray? I’m 50% would like to at least once and 50% I know of what it did to Steve Irwin, and I’m not messing with them.

If you were on vacation, would you ever go to Ireland? It’s not a big item on my bucket list, honestly. I’d love to go to Ireland, but it would probably be a part of a bigger itinerary, like if I decided to take a trip to that part of Europe.

Are you logged into Myspace right now? I haven’t been on there for more than a decade.

Did you have anything bad happen to you today? Yeah, but they’re stuff that happened at work that are a little hard to explain.

Have you ever been to New York? Nope. I’d love to take a trip there.

Do you use the term "lol" if you don't have anything to say? Not really. I use it in the end of my messages more so that I don’t sound mean.

Should you be sleeping right now instead of taking this survey? Hell no. It’s a Friday night so the last thing I want to be doing is sleeping.

Can you truly say you hate anyone? I don’t think so. I greatly dislike my brother, but I guess I don’t hate him. I find it too strong a word.

Have you ever disected a baby pig in a class at school? Not a piglet, no. We dissected an earthworm, a fish, and eventually a frog.

What brand of dish liquid do you use? A local brand you wouldn’t recognize.

When is the last time you ate a Hershey Kiss? It’s probably been more than a year. It’s not my favorite candy.

Do you ever feel unappreciated? Yes.

Do you currently have any blemishes on your face? No. My pimple finally went away, hallelujah.

Who is the last baby you held? My cousin who is now 13 years old. I’m too anxious to hold babies; I always feel like I’d drop them so I find myself declining even when I have the chance to hold one.

Are you a lover? I guess.

Do you use smileys often in text convos? Yes. Not a lot of people like them but it’s better to sound friendly and approachable than stoic.

Do you have the Google toolbar on your computer? Like...Chrome? I have the program, yeah. It’s my default browser as well.

Do you like Sunkist? I’ve never had it.

Would you ever consider being a cannibal? I mean...I guess only if I was in a life-and-death situation, like if a plane I was in crashed on an island and I was starting to get hungry. I certainly don’t fantasize about cannibalism on any regular day.

Did you forget something important in the past week? I made a few mistakes at work due to me forgetting things, yeah.

Do you like learning new things? Sure.

What color is your toothpaste? White.

Are the floors in your house creaky? Nopes. I don’t think our doors are creaky-level just yet as well.

Do you fear death? I hate the uncertainty of what happens while it’s taking place, and what happens after. But I’ve been wishing for it for a while as well. There’s a difference.

Is your mouth dry? Not right now, no.

Do yoou have any scars from an animal? Yeah I’ve got a few marks and scratches from Cooper. I never run out of them, really.

Did you have fun with this survey? It was okay.

Was it random enough? Sure.

#survey #surveys

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yamithediaperdork · 4 years

Text

Ash’s new daddy (Pokemon)

Ash sighed softly as he looked at his mom leaning on the door frame of his room. He'd been back in town for all of a week and already he was remembering why he preferred to travel with his friends, even if Brock and misty had left him to do their own thing after coming back from the jotho league where Ash had not only lost, he'd been destroyed, coming in last place. His mom had been somewhat blunt about not being surprised, though she tried to cover it up saying she bet he was just suffering from diaper rash again. Diaper rash..like that was something he wanted to talk about when he was 18 now but his bed wetting had only gotten worse since he left and while back when he was 9 he'd been able to go several nights in a row without soaking the bed, as a trainer out in the big old world he was pissing himself nightly. (And when Brock and Misty had found out they insisted on making sure Ash was wearing, which had been humiliating enough.) Still having his best friend and on again off again girlfriend making sure he was diapered was nothing compared to his mom insisting on handling ash's night time diapering herself, which involved rash cream and baby powder and she'd gone as far as to shave his pubes off. "well, I'm waiting on a answer sweetie." His mom said, bringing him back to the here and now and he sighed, looking at the pack of diapers she was holding in one hand. She'd apparently while out with her new mystery friend (who she STILL refused to tell him who it was) gotten a new brand of diapers which instead of being the youth brand ones, were apparently for bigger boys like ash (he hated how she had phased that) who just couldn't seem to stay dry. and they looked huge, the pack was the size of his normal diapers but while they had 18 to a pack, this apparently just had 8! since it was going on 6 pm, she'd come up to his room where he'd been playing a video game and suggested that since neither of them were going out tonight, she could just put him in one of them now, and see how they fit. "I..I can just try one on now then take it off if you really want mom." Ash said finally and his mom clicked her touge and shook her head. "I don't think so little man. you wouldn't believe what mommy had to pay for these!" she said and moved into his room now, plopping the pack on his bed. "When you're the one buying all the diapers, then you can waste them or buy what you want, but -somebody- blew the last of his winnings on a silly video game console." She said. "S'not silly..it came with the latest games and-" he trailed off as she gave him THAT look. it was one he'd seen a lot since getting home and he knew by now it meant he could go along with what she wanted to do willingly, or he could huff and pout, but she was getting her way. "..Shouldn't I go for a bath first then if i can't take one before bed?" he asked meekly. "Heh, good point Ashy. you do smell a little ripe, but mommy was trying to be nice. She said and leaned in and kissed his forehead. with a pat on his butt he was sent on his way for his bath while she got his diapers preped.

Delia hummed to herself as she opened the pack, marveling at just how massive and thick these diapers were, and unlike the other ones her little Ashy had been wearing (the last he'd brought for himself) there was no pretending these were underwear. the crinkling plastic and the nursery print on them was suppose to help shame big boys into stopping their babyish accidents and for a second she regretted not getting the sissy option instead, thinking how adorable ashy would of looked in frills. Butttt her boyfriend had told her baby steps with this sorta thing and he knew best. Just thinking about her man made her smile and blush but she quickly banished the thoughts from her head, it would hardly send a good message to ashy if he came back and mommy was soaking his bed with her love juices after all.

Ash stayed in the tub as long as he could, trying to get it at least semi closer to his strict 10 pm bedtime before he got his butt put back in diapers. the whole thing was just stupid but no one in the area was battling for money anymore and while Gary was home too from the Jotho league, he was flushed with cash after winning the whole thing. Brock made it clear while he sympathized with ash's situation, he couldn't really put ash up, and Misty was too busy in Cerulan city to even think about that. (Plus she'd accidentally let her sisters know about his bed time attire and they had been all eager to see him in just his diapies, something that despite the heat of the bath water made him shiver.) So, unless ash wanted to sleep in the woods he had to do things mom's way and like it. there was a knock at the door and Delia opened it and gave ash a playful smile. "I think 30 minutes is enough..did you at least wash up before playing squirtle?" she asked. (squirtle being a game ash hadn't played since he was 4, where well, he'd pretend to be the pokemon while in the tub.) "Oh uh..Noooot yet." ash squeaked, though he didn't bother to cover himself up. His mom had made it clear if she was changing his wet diapers then there was no reason for him to be shy about her seeing him in the tub. "-sigh- Little boys..I think from now on Mommies gonna make sure to wash you before she leave you to play.. get your hair nice and wet ashy." She said, coming over and grabbing the shampoo bottle. "M-Mom what are you doing? I can wash myself." Ash whined. "Really? because I believe I just caught someone who was suppose to be getting clean just playing in the tub. now get your hair wet for mommy little man." praying she was going to at least let him wash his balls himself ash leaned back in the tub.

All cleaned up and smelling kinda girly (Mom had accidentally used her shampoo instead of his) Ash was wrapped up in a towel and paused to look at the diaper laying opened on his bed, and getting a better look at it. "Come on, we don't have all night to wait for you." His mom teased and with a playful pat on his butt he inched closer. "Moooom! they look big baby diapers!" he whined and pouted. She smirked and tugged the towel away from him and showing a surprising amount of power, slowly got him over to the bed and pushed him butt first onto the diaper. "I've heard just about all the whining I'm going to put up with tonight little man. one more whimper and you can forget about getting any ice cream after supper tonight!" she scolded him lightly. "....." ash sulked and huffed as he laid back, knowing the fight was all but over but had muttered something that if his mom knew he'd said, he'd of been over her knee. "I'm sorry, what was that?" she asked, working the rash cream in. "Yes mommy..sorry." ash said in a sulky tone. "That's what i thought."

The diaper looked massive on Ash's hip's and Delia had to fight to keep from laughing at how silly her so called big boy looked. the bulk pushed his legs apart and he couldn't bring them together and well, there was no two ways about it. he wasn't walking in that diaper he was flat out waddling. to go with the diaper she had picked out one of his 'super macho' shirts that still fit him, though he'd stopped following the series about a superhero machamp when he'd been 9. (then again the only real worried she had about it not fitting since ash was still her little shorty was that with all the sweets he'd been packing away recently and the lack of exercise he'd be a little too pudgy.) ash had of course whined for some pants to put over his diapers and Delia had agreed but was sercetly delighted as it turned out that not a single pair of pants or shorts would fit over her son's massive diaper butt. "We'll go shoping this weekend and get some bigger pj bottoms for you." She promised. "..great..now I have to waddle around like this all night.. can you go and make sure the curtains are closed downstairs? I don't want the whole block seeing this." Ash huffed. the pout, the arm's crossed pose and his attire just was too much, he looked like a super tall toddler and that was all there was too it and Delia laughed, then covered her mouth. "Moooom! S'not funny!" ash whined and stomped a foot. "Y-Your not making this easy to s-stop laughing sweetie! and don't worry about people seeing you." She said, desperately trying not to laugh more. "why?" "oh, Mommy didn't cover the diapers up in a bag when she came back and they were having a little get together at the johnsons, so they all saw. they invited us over but I kn-" she said. "YOU WHAT!? Mommy how could you!" ash whined and went to race out of the room. where he was planning on going or what he was gonna do she wasn't sure because the bulk of the diaper meant he made it all of five steps before he lost his balance and ended up plopping on his butt with a started look, then started to bawl. 'and they ask me why I never wanted a anther baby..' she thought dryly then moved over to comfort her big baby of a son.

Ash wished he could stop sobbing as his mom carried him down the stairs, holding him to her chest and her arm under his stupid big diaper butt. the fall hadn't of really hurt just, with the outfit and finding out everyone knew.. How would he even be able to go out and face the other kids on the block now? It was bad enough that GARY knew about his bed wetting and had seen him in the diapers when he'd- but even just the start of that thought started a fresh wave of tears and ash buried his face into his mom's shoulder. she was rubbing his back and coo'ing softly to him now and he didn't bother to look up till he felt himself sat on the floor and then something rubbery was pushed gently between his lips. it wasn't till some forgotten urge triggered and he started to nurse on it he realized he'd just been pacified, literally. As his mom smiled at him and used a face cloth to dry his cheeks, the most damning thing of all was while he was humiliated she'd actually gotten him a pacifier (and god, what if that had been part of her shopping spree today!?) Ash couldn't bring himself to spit it out AND it was calming him down.

Delia gave ash's forehead a kiss as she watched him nurse, confused but calming down and thought about just how smart it had been to have Mr.mime give him a nursing instinct. 'I'll have to thank lover boy for that thought when he gets over here.' She thought and then after getting some cartoons on the tv for ash (She'd actually gone and found a DVD of the old super macho cartoons) She gave his hair a ruffle. "Mommy needs to go and make dinner now sweetie. you watch this and if you need anything call for mommy ok?" she asked. ash squirmed like crazy but gave her a head nod back, blushing but clearly losing himself into his show. "Good boy~" she coo'ed and walked out.

At some point Ash just stopped caring, he knew the windows were open but was sure with his spot on the floor no one was gonna see him unless they came RIGHT up to the window, and then he'd call out for mom if that happened. he'd forgotten just how much he'd loved this show and grinned around his paci, trying to recall why he'd ever stopped watching it, then it came back to him. Gary had found out he still watched it and had called it a baby show, and ash had dropped it trying to be big and cool like Gary. 'Stupid Gary..can't believe I ever thought that girlfriend stealing ass hat was a friend!' he thought and for a second thought about how funny it would be to sit on Gary's face in his massive diaper and fart on him, giggling around the pacifier. 'not that i'd want him to see me like this though..thank god he's staying in virden city while they talk over him maybe becoming a gym leader.' It was anther sore point for ash. Gary had brought it up two days ago, claiming because of his dominating performance, the powers to be involved with the league wanted him to just be a gym leader, not a competitor to give other trainers a chance. he'd been in that stupid tight muscle shirt showing off his stupid big arms, and the shirts tightness did nothing to hide his abs and Ash had felt even chubbier then normal around him. (and it hadn't helped some girls had walked by and thought ash was Gary's LITTLE brother due to the height difference!) Just thinking about stupid Gary was getting Ash huffy again and he willed himself to be calm. 'it's just you and mom tonight. you're gonna have some nummy food, watch that new cop flick, and then off to bed.' he assured himself, then there was a knock at the door. "Ash, can you get that?" His mom called. "I'm busy getting these streaks right!" Pulling the pacifier out of his mouth, ash whined. "But mooom, I'm not wearing any pants!" "everyone already knows, remember sweetie? Please?" she called back. Huffing big time ash got to his feet and left the paci on the coffee table as he waddled to the front door and opened it, not looking out first to see who it was. he figured it was one of the neighbors trying to be nice, or someone preaching the word of celibi again. Instead dressed in a blue dress shirt and a pair of black dress pants, and holding a bottle of wine was Gary mother fucking Oak. "Hey little guy, you gonna stand there mouth open and letting the world see your cute outfit, or gonna invite your new daddy in?"

Gary smirked as he took in ash's outfit, it had been even easier then he'd expected or hoped to convince ash's mom that the loser should just be a big diaper baby. (then again when he made such arguments while plowing her stupid..welll) The big baby dork was STILL just standing there, struggling to think of what to say and Gary just sighed and gently pushed ash out of his way and walked in, shutting the door behind him. "Silly baby. do you want everyone on the block to see you in your diapies? I mean, if thats the case you can go outside and play buttt.." He laughed and patted ash on his fat diapered bottom then walked past him. he didn't need to look behind him to know that ash was waddling behind him like a toddler but didn't pay the loser any attention as he came into the kitchen. "Hey sweetie, I'm here for our date. I take it somebody forgot to tell little ashy it would be dinner for three?" he asked, setting the wine on the table and coming over and kissing Delia on the cheek, and groping her ass while she blushed. "O-Oh but I thought.." she started then giggled like a air haired bimbo. "I must of misunderstood, Sorry Honey." "it's ok. just means I get to have a talk with my new little man." Gary chuckled.

ash felt numb and just was trying desperately to process what it was he was seeing. there was no way his mom..and Gary.. the age difference alone! But there was no way his mom would of let Gary just manhandle her like that if it wasn't for the fact they were together. "I..I'm not your little man!" Ash finally squeaked out as Gary turned his attention back to him. "Uh-huh..Darling, how long is the wait on the food?" "Oh, about anther 10-15 minutes." Mom said. "Me and Junior here are gonna go have a talk in the living room and leave you to do that voodoo that you do so well." Gary said. with a slap to ash's mom ass Gary walked back out of the kitchen, taking the time to grab ash's hand and tug him along with him. and there was no way ash with his well, as his mom put it 'baby fat' was gonna be able to resist Gary's abs's of steel and he just let himself be lead. Gary took note of what was on TV, and then saw the pacifier on the coffee table and smirked at ash who found himself wishing he'd gone and turned the TV off, or tossed the pacifier. "still into your baby show huh? well I guess your dressed for it at least Loser." Gary said. his tone was friendly,though low even if the words weren't, and ash got the feeling that Gary was keeping his voice down to keep mom from hearing him. "I..what are..why are.."ash tried to ask, but kept fumbling over his words. Gary rolled his eyes and popped the paci in ash's mouth. "Shut up dumb ass. Just like when I stole your little girlfriend, just like when I bribed the joy NOT to heal your pokemon before your first match in the league..when I'd paid team rocket off to exhaust them before hand, and just like when I convinced your mother that your just a big fucking baby loser..I'm putting you in your fucking place. I mean fuck..you're 18 years old and you look almost younger then when we started out as trainers..and that's not just from your current attire. face the facts loser, you belong in diapers, sucking on a pacifier and sobbing while a REAL man comes into your mom's life and gives her a break from changing your shitty diapers." ash was blushing and tearing up as Gary spoke, and suckled hard on the paci but had to stand up for himself at that last bit, and went to tell Gary he didn't poop in his diapers. the only problem was his pacifier was STILL in his mouth as he went to do so and gibberish is the only thing that escaped. Gary laughed out loud at that and when ash moved a hand to pull the paci out, he poked his index finger on it keeping it pinned in place. "You pull that out and I'm replacing it with my cock." Gary said. Ash's eyes went wide at that. He didn't doubt Gary for a second since he'd turned ash's friend Richie against him, getting Richie to call him a loser and cut off all ties by letting the beta boy go to town on his cock. He'd even sent ash a picture of it, Richie balls deep, drool going down his chin and Gary and Richie flipping ash off. (Gary didn't consider it gay if he wasn't the one slobbering on the dick) "I already know what your gonna say anyways loser. that you don't shit your huggies. well you're gonna start. Don't expect any mercy from your mom either, unless you count her using extra lotion a mercy. she's my cock drunk slut and will do anything I say." Ash suckled hard on the paci now, and tears started to well up in his eyes and Gary smirked. "Awww is widdle ashy gonna cry in him's diapies while his new daddy knocks him's mommy up? Go ahead loser. your tears only make it hotter for me, and give me like, I dunno..1..2 hours, and your mommy is gonna think you sobbing in shame is hot too." right about then mom's voice rang out, telling them that supper was ready and she had her head poked around the corner. "oh, what's wrong?" "oh, Little ashy is just having his new life explained to him, and is a little upset. it's ok though. I know how much he loves being embarrassed." Gary said and then, as if in a mockery of a good dad, wiped ash's tears and kissed him on the cheek. "Come on lil guy, we'll go eat supper and me and your mommy will make sure your all super embarrassed so you can feel like a good stupid big baby ok?" he was holding Ash's hand as he said that and gave a painful squeeze and so ash nodded lots. his mom, his only ray of hope in all of this laughed. "I knew you loved being a dumb big baby more then you let on sweetie! come on er.." she paused and looked to Gary for help. "Loser." he supplied helpfully. "Loser. come eat din din with mommy and daddy." she finished. ash found himself wishing he'd never been turned back from stone as he waddled to the dinning room.

Coming into the dinning room Delia blushed a little as she had a couple of towels down on the floor with ash's plate and a baby bottle filled with grape juice setting on it. "Don't take this the wrong way sweetie but I don't think you'll be comfortable or safe trying to sit in a normal chair with your super thick diapie on." She said and giggled a little. "And i would hate to have my widdle baby loser fall and go boom." Ash suckled hard on his paci and turned around, as if huffing and Gary swatted his fat diapered ass. "Hey! you're mom is just thinking of you! take your paci out and say thank you!" Gary scolded. "I'll get him a high chair tomorrow, maybe take him with me so we can get one that'll fit his big diapered ass." Delia sighed, Gary was just SUCH a good daddy, as well as so sexy and she had little hearts in her eyes as she nodded. "S-Sorry mommy. Thank you." ash said and she gave him a bare nod, focusing on the love of her life. "yeah whatever sweetie. sit down already." she said. Ash did as she said and she took her seat next to Gary at the table, close enough she could play footsies with him and lean into him, while they could look over their shoulders as needed to check on the baby. "Uh..Mom?" Ash called and she frowned, then looked over. "Yes ash?" "I uh..I need to cut my steak but you didn't give me a knife..you want me to just g-" "Oh! silly me!" Delia said. "Gary, would you mind cutting up little ashy's din din for him?" she asked. "Of course not." he said and reached over. "Come on lil guy, give DADDY your plate so he can make sure this is all nice and small for you." Ash Pouted, but Delia gave her son a glare and he meekly handed his plate up to Gary. "Good boy! that's mommy's little loser~" Delia coo'ed and laughed. "you're really loving this huh? getting it off your chest just what you really think of him?" Gary asked as he started to cut up ash's veggies and meat nice and small."Have you had a few glasses of the wine already?" "W-well I er..yes. I hope that's ok." Delia said, suddenly worried about making Gary mad. "Not at all. I know you needed a little help to be honest with widdle ashy here." he said and paused to kiss her cheek. "Go ahead and have anther glass." he added. Delia gushed and nuzzled gary's arm and he smiled at her making her feel all warm inside. "you really are so good to me. and such a welcomed escape from pampers mcgee over there." she giggled and refilled her glass. "M-Mommy.." Ash whined. "Oh sweetie, i know it's tough to hear, but you really always were just a big baby. I only let you go out on your big silly pokemon adventure to try and air out your room and to save on diapers for awhile." She said and then blew a raspberry at the poor crushed boy, then took a drink. "You know Delia, I think little ashy has a big enough ASS as is, we don't want it to get too much bigger.. Maybe I should take his meat and just try him on some veggies." Gary suggested. "whatever you think is best. This is Ashy's favorite din din but I don't think cutting back on the meat, or the after dinner deserts for awhile would hurt him." she giggled. ash whimpered but took back his plate of veggies and didn't speak up as Gary took his fork from him. "Little boys eat with their hands..and thats what you are ash. a little boy." Gary said. Looking over and seeing ash just pouting and using his hands Delia laughed out loud. "God, your SUCH a loser!" she squealed and then moaned as Gary slid a hand over, between her legs even as he started to eat.

God, this horny bitch was too easy and even Gary was shocked at how quickly she was turning on ash..not that he minded. the meat was excellently cooked and knowing it was ash's favorite added that extra bit of flavor to it as he munched down, practically fingering the slut who was gasping and moaning while Ash tried to stare a hole in the floor. "Oh, are you trying to pretend your not here? Like that time I ruined Misty for you?" He asked ash and then pulled his hand away from Delia's soaked crotch, wiping it on the table cloth her grandmother had left her, and knowing ash had gotten in trouble for just spilling juice on it before, let alone love juice. and the stupid slut clearly didn't mind. "Did ash tell you about that?" Gary asked as Ash clearly lost his appetite and pushed his plate away. "Oh, he called me bawling and sobbing about it, but I was more shocked he and Misty were dating. I always pegged him as being Brock's little butt slut." Delia said then covered her mouth. "Heh, Nah, Little ashy here would of had to cross-dress to get Brock's dick. Or did you ashy?" Gary asked. ash glared but didn't answer so Gary cleared his throat and deepened his voice. "I asked you a question little man. Did you dress like a girl so you could finally lose your virginity? because I wouldn't count you humping Misty's gaping and ruined cunt after i fucked her as sex since she fell asleep." Delia laughed out loud at that and helped herself to more wine as the tears started to roll down ash's Cheek. "I..I never did anything with any boys." Ash said finally. "Or any girls." Gary added, finishing off his glass. "I..No. Misty was gonna be my first and..and..you ruined it." "well you know..I like to think of it as trying to help a friend out. you were gonna fail either way and at least this way your little girlfriend had fun. and then you got to go and put on your diapies after your failed attempt at sex and suck your thumb and go to sleep." Gary said. "Really ashy, it sounds like Gary saved you from making Misty mad at you. you should thank him." Delia scolded. they both waited and finally ash croaked out a small but still aubile 'thank you'. "Awww, you're welcome fat ass." Gary said and leaned back and ruffled ash's hair.

Dinner ran just a little bit longer but thankfully aside from the odd insult thrown ash's way they ignored him. he nibbled on a few carrots and tried to drink from the baby bottle while they were distracted but of course they noticed, and commented on just how natural ashy looked in diapers drinking from one. After supper the happy couple and little ashy started to head for the living room when Gary got a evil look in his eye. "You know, while I know little ashy here was looking forward to movie night, I'm kinda in the mood. you wanna say fuck it and just go upstairs?" he asked mom. "Oh god yes! But what about ash?" she asked, practically humping the younger man's leg. it made ash's tummy flip flop to see his mom degrading herself like this but he just took anther drink from his baby bottle instead. "well I would say we could let him watch his little baby show, but I dunno how awake we'll be after. and it's almost 8 anyways. we should just put the baby to bed." "your right. I have been meaning to lower his bed time anyways." Mom said and ash whined. "But I'm not even sleepy!" he huffed and they BOTH started to laugh at that. ash himself realized just how..utterly BABYISH that sounded after and popped his ba-ba back in his mouth. His next humiliation came as they got to the stairs and Gary took one look at them, then turned back to look at ash and shook his head. "I don't think fat ass should try and go up these himself, he'll fall and hurt himself and we'll have to spend the night at the ER." he said. "Do you want me to make a bed for him down here then?" Mom asked. "Nah, I got it." Ash figured out what Gary meant by got it as he effortlessly scooped ash up in his arms, and held him much like his mom had before. his baby bottle in one hand and the other out of instinct holding onto Gary, ash buried his face in Gary's shoulder to hide the fresh tears starting up and his new mommy and daddy started to laugh and coo.

Gary was pleasantly surprised how quick any and all fight was draining out of ash as he carried the boy to his soon to be nursery. he made a little show of it, mostly for his and Delia's amusement citing that Ash's fat ass was heavier then the rest of him. Setting ash down in his bed, he took in how childish ash's room looked already, but he had plans for it if he didn't get the gym leader job, and if he did he'd have a nursery made to size for little ashy in Virden. he patted and squeezed the back and front of ash's diapers and noted the look of pride on the big babies face that he was still dry, and decided to shut that shit down now. "Bad boy ash!" he scolded and rolled the fat ass onto his tummy, swatting said fat diapered butt. "You're just a big baby now and babies use their diapers!" with the thick diaper on the swats couldn't of possibly hurt but ash started to flail around and cry out again. "ah! Stop! No! I don't wanna!" "Little man, did I say if it so pleases prince ash, or did I tell you to use your diapers?" Gary scolded, slipping a swat onto ash's slightly chubby thigh. "ah! No! Stawp! I sowwy! I's be a good baby! STAWP!" Delia was laughing hard but Gary stopped right away and rubbed the small of ash's back as the baby tried to get his tears to stop. "there there..thats what i wanna hear.. now you be a good big baby..and in the morning your mommy better find a wet AND poopie diaper to change. or your going over my lap without the diaper on." Gary said. In between the panicked sobs Delia and Gary both heard what they wanted, the hiss of a scared little loser soaking his diapers. "Good fat ass."

Ash got out what had to be the last of his tears as he laid in bed. Mommy and new daddy where in the next room and he could HEAR what they were doing..and feel it as the head board kept banging against the wall. 'I..I just..wet myself like a helpless baby..and..why can't I stand up to them? I could go and get my pokemon back from professor oak and just head out..I'm sure i could find work somewhere..' he thought. the thick diaper had sucked in his tinkle without much fuss so at least he wasn't as cold and clammy as with the diapers he normally got, so he had to admit mommy had made a smart choice with these. And if she'd been right about the diapers..what if she was right about him being a loser? really it wasn't like they MADE him keep the diaper on, or forced him to stay there. it had just never occurred to him to take the diaper off or to get up and leave. Of course NOW he knew he would of been spanked silly but.. he hadn't known that then. 'M-Maybe their right..and i really AM a big baby..' Ash thought. he found himself wishing he'd brought his paci up to bed with him, and toyed with getting up and going down stairs for it but recalled how daddy had said the stairs were too dangerous for him, so instead he slipped his thumb into his mouth. It wasn't as soothing as his paci but it got the job done and Ash thought about a way to test if he really was just a big dumb baby or not, racking his brain. 'wait..daddy said I needa poopie..if I can go to sleep, without crying, after pooping my diaper like a baby does..then..yeah, that would prove it. and if i can't and cry for a diaper change, then I'm a big boy!' following his well, rather flawed logic Ash worked to get up on his knees on his bed, and started to grunt and stain, pushing himself and shaking his bed a little.

Gary was pounding away on Delia who was barley with it anymore, a combination of the wine and getting that dick had her eyes rolling in her head even as she barked like a bitch in heat. the thought of him keeping that loser up all night listening this this was fueling him even as one little thing stuck in Gary's mind and was keeping him from having his first orgasm. Carrying ash up the steps, and the big baby snuggling into him, it had felt..right. the baby stuff was just meant to torment ash and he'd never really had any intention of being the one to change his diapers, but Jesus. just carrying him like that, he'd only switched back to stern dom as fast as he had to save face in front of Delia. after all, if he'd been goading her to be mean to Ash it wouldn't make sense for him to be the nice one now would it? 'It's not like i like him. I set him up to fail!' Gary thought. as groans and other noises came from the other side of the wall, along with some thumps from ash's head board hitting the wall, Gary almost sighed in relief, having a reason to be mean to the loser who was clearly humping his diapers. he banged on the wall and almost snarled. "Stop making all that noise and go to sleep over there!" he called though the wall. the reply he got back though.. "S-Sowwy Daddy! trying ta make poopie like ou told me ta!" as ash finished saying it, Gary found himself spurting harder and more then he'd ever done before in his life, realizing that he'd totally broken ash in just a few hours and his little diaper boy was totally loading up his diapers. Gary had honestly expected to have to spank ash in the morning and he was now calling him daddy and- anther load shot out and Gary was crying out in pleasure, and crying out something else. "Good boy ashy! make poopies for daddy! show daddy you love him!" Normally Gary could of kept going, and would of but he found himself spent after the second load and flopped to the side of delia, who had already conked out herself. as he lay there panting and trying to catch his breath he could almost swear he was getting a whiff of the load little ash was making, and as his spent dick struggled to come to life again he instead fell asleep, his last thought before conking out however was a confession to himself. 'How the fuck did i go from wanting to dominate his fat ass to falling for it?!'

As the last of the poopie slid out and filled his diaper, ash made a face at the smell, but the warm mess felt good over his bum and daddy had praised him. with a big smile on his face ash snuggled down into his bed, and tugged a pikachu stuffie into one of his arms and popped his thumb back into his mouth. he had his answer he knew as he drifted off to sleep. he was a big baby

the end

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psychodollyuniverse · 4 years

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The Long Blondes

The Long Blondes were a five-piece English indie rock band formed in Sheffield, United Kingdom in 2003 by Dorian Cox (lead guitar and keyboards), Reenie Hollis (real name Kathryn Hollis) (bass guitar and backing vocals), Emma Chaplin (rhythm guitar, keyboards and backing vocals), Kate Jackson (lead vocals) and Screech Louder (real name Mark Turvey, drums).

After several critically acclaimed singles, they released their debut album, Someone to Drive You Home, on Rough Trade Records in November 2006. Their second album, Couples, was produced by Erol Alkan and released in April 2008. On 20 October 2008, due to the unexpected illness of their primary songwriter and lead guitarist, Dorian Cox, the band announced their amicable split via a message on their website, the same day their singles compilation, "Singles" was released.

The band was formed in 2003 in Sheffield, United Kingdom. All the members were attending, or had attended university in the city.The following quote appeared on their website and served as an introduction to the Long Blondes; "Our shared influences include The Mael Brothers, Marx Brothers and The Bewlay Brothers. We do not listen to The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Jimi Hendrix, The Doors or Bob Dylan. We chose an instrument each and learnt to play it.".The band have stated that the original inspiration for The Long Blondes was to form a fantasy pop group: "Nico, Nancy Sinatra, Diana Dors and Barbara Windsor. Sexy and literate, flippant and heartbreaking all at once." Singer Kate Jackson was inspired by bands with front women like Siouxsie and the Banshees and Blondie.

In July 2004, The Long Blondes released their debut single "New Idols" on the local Thee Sheffield Phonographic Corporation label. This was followed by singles "Autonomy Boy" and "Giddy Stratospheres", on Angular. In 2005, they released further singles, "Appropriation (By Any Other Name)" and "Separated By Motorways", the latter being produced by Paul Epworth and released on his own Good & Evil label. These releases were met with a positive critical reaction and growing media attention

Still unsigned, in February 2006 the band were recipients of the NME Philip Hall Radar Award, which in previous years was won by Franz Ferdinand and Kaiser Chiefs. Further adding to their reputation, the band were named by The Guardian and Vogue as "the best unsigned band in the UK". As they were unsigned, during the early success of the band, members remained working in various day jobs; Jackson sold vintage clothing on eBay, Cox was working in the University of Sheffield Department of Law, Hollis in the Media Studies department of a nearby college, Chaplin in a Leeds art library and Louder in the Home Office.

On 13 April 2006 they signed to Rough Trade Recordsand began recording their debut album over the summer with Steve Mackey, the bassist with Pulp. The album was preceded by the singles "Weekend Without Makeup" in July and "Once and Never Again", which was released on 23 October and debuted at number 30 in the UK Singles Chart.The song was named the 15th best track of 2006 by NME. Someone to Drive You Home was released in November 2006. The music was written by the band collectively while the majority of the lyrics were written by Cox with Jackson completing the lyrics for "Separated by Motorways" and "Madame Ray". Critical reception was generally positive with the NME calling it "fantasy pop, performed to perfection" in a 9/10 review.Reviews picked up on the predominant themes of the album; outsider status, popular culture references from the 1950s and 60s and relationships from a female perspective. Other reviews indicated the numerous inspirations for the work. For example, a four-star review in The Guardian said that "if talent borrows but genius steals ... the Long Blondes should be taking their Mensa tests", comparing the album's style to Franz Ferdinand and 80s indie-pop band The Flatmates.Some noted the impact of Jackson's voice; Colin Roberts of Drowned In Sound said "her delivery is like a public address call across a Sunday marketplace” while The Guardian said it was "marvellously belting, if unsubtle".A 3-star review in Uncut magazine recognised the ambition of the band's sound, advising that they should acquire "a ruthless pop producer, one who can coax them out of their indie-pop dowdiness – like Blondie needed Mike Chapman, like ABC needed Horn.They appeared at a number of UK festivals over the summer of 2006, including the Carling Weekend. In 2007, they played on the Other Stage at the Glastonbury Festival.

After an extended European tour, in October 2007 The Long Blondes began work on their second album with producer Erol Alkan, who had previously produced their more dance orientated b-sides such as "Five Ways To End It" and "Fulwood Babylon". On 19 December 2007, it was announced that the new album's title would be "Couples". The title alludes to the David Bowie album "Heroes" and also to a loose theme of the album as a "big breakup album". Before the album was released, all five members created their own cryptic promo videos explaining the inspiration behind "Couples".The band stated that the album drew influences from Italo disco revival acts such as Glass Candy and the Italians Do It Better label.and ABBA. Cox stated that "...there's something really innocent about Abba videos... really kinda funny, futuristic but old fashioned at the same time and that's how we see our music on this album.".

"Couples" was released on 7 April 2008, preceded by a single, "Century", released on 24 March 2008. The album reached number 48 in the UK album chart. The album was generally well received by critics. Click Music gave the album a 4.5 out of 5 and said it was "a worthy contender for record of the year".[24] The Guardian gave the album another 4-star review, noting the album's shift in style – saying that some tracks shared "more with the cinematic perfection of Kylie Minogue's "Confide in Me" than the kitchen sink dramas of Pulp". A mixed 6/10 review in NME said the album was "not terrible, but disappointing" and "whereas once they sang of suburban boredom tempered with the thrill of escape, now they’ve started to sound like they’d be happy to stay put".After "Century", the next song to be taken off the album was "Guilt", which was released on 7" and digital download.

On 9 June 2008, the band posted on their official website that Cox had fallen ill and that he had to be rushed to hospital, which meant that they had to cancel all their live appearances until the end of July.The band were due to play a support slot on Duran Duran's Red Carpet Massacre tour at the Birmingham NIA and the O2 Arena in London and on the John Peel stage at Glastonbury.

After "Couples", the band decided to release a compilation of their rare early 7" singles, which was titled "Singles" on 20 October 2008 on Angular Records.The twelve track album collected all of the songs from the band's first singles. The version of "Separated By Motorways" differs from the single version produced by Paul Epworth, instead the group opted to include the demo version instead. The compilation also featured one previously unreleased song – "Peterborough". "Singles" was named the 25th best album of 2008 by Artrocker magazine

On 20 October 2008, Guitarist Dorian Cox posted a message on their official website that the band had split up. The main motivation for the break-up was Cox's stroke in June 2008, which resulted in a swath of cancelled gigs.Cox thanked fans for their support and goodwill. "We have decided to call it a day," he wrote. "The main reason for this is that I suffered from a stroke in June and unfortunately I do not know when/if I will be well enough to play the guitar again. On behalf of the band I'd like to say a big thank you to anyone who ever came to one of our shows, bought one of our records or danced to one of our songs in a club." The announcement was made the same day their compilation "Singles" was released, with the inside of the rear album art also containing news of the break-up. Upon their split, The Guardian wrote an article entitled "Why music will miss the Long Blondes".

It was reported on 1 December 2008 that Cox was undergoing physiotherapy for his paralysis and is still hoping to get back to playing guitar.

Jackson has been working on her debut solo album with producer and ex-Suede guitarist Bernard Butler. She will be working under the name Madame Ray (after the song on Someone To Drive You Home). Jackson has said that the sound of the album first tended towards country rock but has now become a "big pop record". She released the album 'British Road Movies' in early 2016.

Dorian Cox's new band is called Unmade Bed and have made a number of songs available on-line.

Hollis continues to play in The Bon Bon Club, a band she formed with Louder.Their debut single features three cover versions—"Lullaby" by The Cure, "Love Is Blind" by Pulp and "Romantic Rights" by Death From Above 1979. It was released through Thee Sheffield Phonographic Corporation on 23 June 2008. The 7" single was limited to 500 copies.

Hollis also plays with Nature Set and their first single 7" has been published by Elefant Records in 2011.

The Long Blondes' songs reflect a number of influences, including 60s pop, Buzzcocks, The Fall, The Ramones, Suede,post-punk and new wave. Jackson's vocals have been compared to Ari Up of The Slits, Deborah Harry of Blondie and Lesley Woods of Au Pairs[citation needed]. Dorian Cox's backing vocals are also similar to those of former Pulp frontman Jarvis Cocker. The music features angular guitars and prominent bass guitar lines. However, the band themselves claim somewhat more eclectic influences than their sound suggests, citing Burt Bacharach, Holland-Dozier-Holland, Chinn and Chapman, and Stock, Aitken and Waterman as influences. The band named some of their actual influences and favourite bands. Chaplin's were The Smiths, Sweet and The Jesus and Mary Chain. Hollis's were Belle and Sebastian, ELO and The Eagles. Cox's were ABBA and The Fall. Louder's were Scott Walker, The Slits and Captain Beaky. Jackson's were The Smiths, The Fall and Nancy Sinatra and Lee Hazlewood. Screech Louder cited Siouxsie and the Banshees, a group they were likened by the critics.Louder said about them: "[Siouxsie and the Banshees] made much more interesting records than any of the instant hits could manage, and they didn’t run out of ideas after the first few singles. Like Pulp, they’re testament to the power of waiting".

The Long Blondes are known for referencing films, singers, starlets and artists in their music. Screech Louder said that Alfred Hitchcock was a big inspiration when it came to referencing films in their music, he said "the whole film noir thing is very important because it's stylish but there's depth to it as well".

Lyrics

"Appropriation (By Any Other Name)" is a homage to Hitchcock's 1958 film Vertigo. It has been said[by whom?] that the song is told from Judy's perspective, due to lines such as "When I met you, I never wore dresses like that" & "You can't have me, make me act the same". Lead singer Kate Jackson painted two different portraits for the CD single and 7" Vinyl, they both depicted Kim Novak's characters Madeleine Elster and Judy Barton.[41]

"Darts" mentions British darts player Bobby George and darts commentator Sid Waddell.

"Erin O'Connor" is a homage to Erin O'Connor which also mentions fellow model, Lily Cole. It begins with a line by Ronnie Corbett and David Swift from the BBC play No Sex Please, We're British.

"Five Ways To End It" mentions Carry On star Hattie Jacques and also the producer of the Carry On films, Peter Rogers.

"I Liked The Boys" ends with "Not the most original sentiment I've ever heard, so what's new" which is a line from a radio show by Terry Wogan.[22] Whilst recording the second album, they found an old reel-to-reel radio recording and decided to use parts in some of their songs

"I'm Going To Hell" ends with a line by Peter Sellers.

"Long Blonde" mentions punk band Ramones, one of their influences.

"Lust in the Movies" mentions underground actresses such as 60's socialite and muse, Edie Sedgwick, American actress Arlene Dahl & French actress Anna Karina. Also the repeated line "Nag nag nag" is a reference to the same repeated lyric in the song "Nag Nag Nag" by Sheffield band Cabaret Voltaire.

"Madame Ray" is inspired by Lee Miller, the photographer and muse of avent-garde artist Man Ray.

"Melville Farr" is based on Dirk Bogarde's character in the 1961 British film Victim.

"Never To Be Repeated" references film-star Greta Garbo.

"Only Lovers Left Alive" takes its title from the 1964 science fiction novel by Dave Wallis, and includes the title of 1950s film From Here To Eternity as a lyric.

"Round The Hairpin" begins with a line by British comedian Kenny Everett.

"Swallow Tattoo" has a lyric ("you fill me with inertia") which is a reference to the parody pop band fronted by Peter Cook in Bedazzled.

"You Could Have Both" namechecks American singer Scott Walker. The song also alludes to the Morrissey song "My Love Life".The song also mentions the character of C.C. 'Bud' Baxter from The Apartment

Artwork

Before "Couples" was released, all five members created their own cryptic promo videos "explaining" what the inspiration behind "Couples" was. Jackson explained who inspired the album cover, she found artist Richard Hamilton, videos by ABBA, Lee Miller and Le Corbusier to be the main inspiration.

The two front covers of "Weekend Without Makeup" are paintings of Diana Dors.

The front cover of their debut album Someone To Drive You Home is a painting by Kate Jackson of Faye Dunaway in the film Bonnie and Clyde, with a Mark 3 Ford Cortina as her getaway car.The artwork inside the album sleeve is a painting of Nicolas Cage & Laura Dern in the film Wild At Heart.

The front cover of "New Idols" is a painting of Diana Dors in Yield to the Night.

from their Wikipedia page

Why music will miss the Long Blondes from The Guradian Uk October 21st 2008.

It's hard to sum up just how exciting the Long Blondes were when they started out. I first heard them after they'd released a few singles and they were still without a record deal. Amongst my friends, urging them on to bigger and better things was a cause we felt passionately about. And it wasn't long before the NME had called them the Best Unsigned Band in Britain.Matching the media hype was the fact that those early singles - Giddy Stratospheres, Autonomy Boy, Once and Never Again and Lust in the Movies - were stunning. Unlike anyone else, they seemed to be addressing exactly what suburban teenagers were going through: self harm, bitchy jealousy, social climbing, pretending you were a much cooler film star than the sad sack you actually were. For those of us who couldn't relate to guitar songs that sounded like football chants, these were a revelation. It helped that they looked like a proper pop group. A bunch of ex-librarian mis-shapes and misfits dressed in thrift shop chic straight out of a Pulp song, it was impossible to take your eyes off front-woman Kate Jackson. In the miasma of boys with guitars they were the only band who were mining a wealth of influences often overlooked by the keepers of rock music's "canon" - Blondie, the Ronettes, the Human League, Pulp, John Cooper Clarke and the B-52s - to name just a few. They were often criticised for not being able to play "properly". These people, I thought, were missing the point – in the grand tradition of their heroes the Long Blondes were anti-technique.In fact, their heroic statement of intent on their website read: "We do not listen to the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, Jimi Hendrix, the Doors or Bob Dylan. We chose an instrument each and learnt to play it."None of them were really proper musicians. And unlike all of those perfectly coiffured indie bands who became their peers, they were clearly just a group of friends who wanted to form a band for the fun of it.Also, in an age where most other indie bands' default option was "dumbing down", the Long Blondes weren't afraid to flaunt their high falutin' literary and pop culture influences. Like their beloved Roxy Music, high culture met low culture in their aesthetic. Billy Wilder, Arlene Dahl and Kenny Everett were all lyrical inspirations while their sleeves referenced Bonnie and Clyde, Poor Cow and 50s pulp fiction novels.They produced two great albums (Someone To Drive You Home and Couples), and a pretty weighty stack of classy singles and b-sides (Ten Reasons To End It , Christmas Is Cancelled and Long Blonde to name a few). These, along with their sense of fearlessness (in their music, attitude and look), will be their legacy.

#the long blondes #dorian cox #kate jackson #rennie hollis #emma chaplin #screech louder #someone to drive you home #couples #best band of the early XXi century

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michams · 4 years

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VIXX “Scentist” analysis based on “Perfume”, by P. Suskind PART I - The MV (2/2)

“Scentist” is definitely one of my favorite songs/ music videos/ concepts in kpop so last year, when I got to know it was based on a book, I went after and read it. Since then I’ve been wanting to share an analysis focused on more direct references to Suskind’s story.

* This is the continuation of a two part analysis of Vixx’s “Scentist” MV; you can find the first part here. *

THIRD PART The third part is about the period Grenouille spends in Grasse – pretty much a capital of the aroma’s industry. Going over to the residential area, his attention was for some reason caught by one of the houses. He realizes it was a scent extremely similar to the one he smelled that night in Paris, but not the same. It was even better this time. The girl was a child and he knew that in 2 years she would have completely matured. This time he wished to properly extract and take this scent for himself. He had to expand his knowledge and technique, as he waited for the blossoming.

[Image 26 - 1:37 min] I think by now we can work with the concept of Grenouille’s more sophisticated way of dealing with smell and creating fragrances inside himself. The way I see it, here we can divide the scene in some parts: first, on the right, Hongbin and Hyuk would be in charge of the experimenting; at the center, where N, Ravi and Ken stand, would be the storage for the smells (also previously described as a “beverage cellar”) and on the left side, Leo would be responsible for the “special” creations (the harmonization).

Grenouille is hired at an atelier. He is taught a very efficient process of extraction. He gained more and more experience, and stayed all day long in the laboratory making experiments. He creates more “humane perfumes” for different occasions. Once again, he tries capturing the objects aromas (rock, metal, glass, wood…) and soon begins experimenting with living beings.

[Image 27 - 0:57 sec] [Image 28 - 1:52 min] [Image 29 - 0:54 sec] [Image 30 - 1:56] Grenouille catches some animals to test if he can extract their odors. Here N and Hongbin illustrate those experiments – the book doesn’t specify any lizard or snake, though.

After a year had passed, one night he is taken by the fear of losing the scent; despite some hesitation, he plans to make a base of other aromas to help in conserving hers. This is when the murders start taking place. Every week the citizens would find a girl; all of them followed a similar pattern. Even when taking measures he couldn’t be stopped.

Laure Richis was the girl whose scent Grenouille wants. Even after her father’s attempt of taking her away secretly, he follows their trace. He manages to get inside her room, to kill her and extract the scent.

“He didn’t even once look at the girl’s face; her material existence wasn’t important to him, it was only the Laure in form of scent that existed, as a perfect smell.”

[Image 31 - 0:35 sec] [Image 32 - 2:09 min] The bags containing roses actually represent each one of the girls Grenouille kills when he is in Grasse. Red roses are associated to beauty and perfection and, most popularly, to profound love. In the book, he specifically says he wants to capture the special fragrances from people, those that inspired love.

[Image 33 - 2:49 min] [Image 34 - 3:03 min] In total, he makes 25 victims, considering the last one, Laure, the special scent he had as a goal. As I pointed out in yellow, there are around 20 bags hanging in the MV.

After some investigation the police gets to Grenouille. He is arrested and sentenced to death. He arrived in the police carriage at the square; it was the first time someone to be executed came in such class. He was finely dressed and looked like a free man. By this moment he had already applied the perfume. Suddenly, all those people believed he wasn’t guilty and loved him. They all fell on their knees. An utter state of hysteria took place; everywhere the citizens where filled with admiration and intense desire.

[Image 35 - 2:38 min] [Image 36 - 2:42 min] I associate this other scene involving a car with Grenouille arrival to the execution venue. Grenouille uses of the effect of the perfume to get taken there by carriage. Hongbin's angle to the camera in the first scene also conveys the idea of power over the viewer. In the book he stands by the door for several minutes and also wears a long blue coat.

[Image 37 - 2:11 min] [Image 38 - 2:13 min] This could be a representation of the perfume taking over the crowd like a gas bomb in the same scenario. However Grenouille is immune to it, as Ravi shows by wearing the protection mask.

At first, he thought he had achieved his goal, but he couldn’t feel any joy from that. Again he was disgusted by those people. He understood that love wouldn’t make him blissful. However, the more he hated them, the more they loved him, as they saw him through his divine aromatic mask. Again the mist filled him, like his dream in the cave; but this time the real world was the dream, and there was no place where to escape.

[Image 39 - 1:17 min] I believe this represents the boy’s realization at the square. Now the mist originates from the car that, according to the previous association, is connected to the place where Greouille feels suffocated by it for the second time.

After passing out and being aided by the girl’s father himself, he goes away.

* * * FOURTH PART Grenouille walked at night again. Feeling the bottle in his pocket, he reflects on how he had power enough to dominate the world if he wanted. But he didn’t know who he was if he couldn’t smell himself; everything else was insignificant. In the end, he was the only one able to be fascinated and not controlled by the perfume. He gets to Paris in a day as hot as the day of his birth. At night, near by a fire where some people gathered, he sprays all of his body with the rest of the liquid.

* * * Other commentaries: The MV was a really interesting interpretation of the story. Definitively, it fit Vixx’s dark concepts perfectly, which I’m not sure if it’s that clear by watching it out of context.

I like how throughout the video they work with blue and red, which mixed result in purple – the color Grenouille’s castle is described as. I also thought it was interesting how they introduced music to the story (mainly related to those scenes of Leo by the piano); I feel like the book doesn’t do any kind of comparision to other senses, specially because the important point is exactly the main character’s special way of interacting with the world.

There were also some things that made me confused and I decided to keep them out of the list, such as:

[Image 40 - 0:39 sec] - That tool the boys look through. Although I used a similar scene before, I was really curious to know the real meaning of this.

[Image 41 - 2:02 min]- The boy feeling divided (?). I considered this would be associated to Grenouille’s feelings – hate and the wish to be loved at the same time.

[Image 42 and 43 - 2:55 min] - The gun. I thought that was a representation of the character’s indifference to the fact that he had to kill his victims; the book literally says that didn’t matter to him. The first one would be the younger Grenouille experiencing that for the first time as a way of getting to the scent, and then the older version of himself actively killing the girls to make the perfume.

Concluding… Again, this is a great concept and a great book. Make sure to support Vixx and the author’s work the way you can.

I plan on continuing with this and analyze the other promotions related to “EAU de VIXX”, so please wait for it!

Thank you for reading this!

References used: - Book: Perfume, the story of a murderer; by P. Suskind (2007 ed., Editora Record). - 빅스(VIXX) - '향 (Scentist)' Official M/V (YouTube). - Film: Perfume, the story of a murderer (2006).

#빅스 #vixx #scentist #eaudevixx #kpop #analysis

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rhubarbplants · 5 years

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Renegades AU where the Anarchists won the battle for Gatlon.

What did you get the girl who had everything, for her birthday? Adrian asked himself. She was her uncles second in command and could have literally anything she asked for. She wasn’t spoiled of course, and she had been through so much, she deserved so much. To top it all off she had given him practically everything he had, his apartment, his asylum from any gangs that might come knocking on the door. Adrian looked at his homemade watch, which had an awkward rift where his marker had run out of ink. He had 16 minutes to get to the café. The whole trip was a blur of passing people who didn’t matter. When he came to a stop near the cafe doors he looked around for Nova. Where was she? He thought, hands on his knees, practically wheezing. At first it seemed like she wasn’t there, then he spotted a girl in a dark blue hoodie, it wasn’t her villain uniform but it still covered her face enough so that passers by wouldn’t recognize her. She had her fair share of fans and haters, what was worse, everyone expected Adrian to be the latter. He slid into the chair next to Nova and peered under the hood.

“Is that you?” He asked.

“Hi Adrian” she said pushing her hood back ever so slightly.

“How was last night?”

“Utterly and completely boring.” Nova groaned, sinking lower onto her elbows “Its times like this where I miss being a regular Anarchist. All the board ever does is talk about politics which I suppose is their job, but they’re doing well now, they don’t need me to supervise them anymore. They are ready to take over as a government separate from the Anarchists.”

“Why don’t you ask your uncle then?” Adrian said.

“He won’t listen.” Nova said.

“Are you sure, he always seems to listen to you.”

“Not about this, and, there are tons of things he doesn’t agree with me about, like us.”

“Have you even asked him?”

“Your mom was Lady Indomitable.” Nova said “there is no way he’ll accept you.” Adrian reached his hand across the table to Nova’s and they sat there simply holding hands. Adrian knew this was something Nova appreciated, since most people avoided touching her at all costs even something as simple as hand holding made her feel loved. For Adrian it was a similar sensation to riding a roller coaster, thrilling, and imminently dangerous, but oh so safe and wonderful.

“Your birthday’s coming up isn’t it?” Adrian asked knowing full well it was.

“Yeah, my uncle gave me the day off, but I’ll probably work anyway, I need to keep busy.” Nova said with a frown “you know you don’t have to get me anything right.”

“I know.” Adrian lied. A waitress passed by their table and set down two coffees to go, Nova lifted her hood ever so slight to ask for the check. The waitress graciously accepted and turned to leave, then she froze, gasped and hurried away. Nova sighed

“Will this ever end?” She sank her head down and rested her chin on the glass table, covering her head with her hands.

“People have prejudices, if they knew you then they wouldn’t judge.”

“But they aren’t wrong, I’m an Anarchist, I have killed people.”

“Not many.”

“Yeah, and that's not exactly something to brag about, around the Anarchists.”

“After the amount of deaths you’ve witnessed, they can hardly blame you for not wanting to inflict that.”

“But they do, they don’t understand mourning, just revenge.” Said Nova still burying her face in her sleeves. The waitress returned and swiftly set the bill down on the table before scurrying off once again. Nova sighed and fished some money out of her pocket, this time being sure to keep her hood low on her face as she did so. Then the couple picked up their drinks and left. They usually only went one of two places when they were together, the park, or Adrian’s flat. Today they were headed to the park. But they didn’t go to the part of this park that everyone else did, instead they went off the trail into a secluded garden practically overgrown with all sorts of plants. English ivy, morning glory, and hydrangeas. And then there was the statue. Her hands cupped and hood pulled up just like Nova’s. Actually they looked pretty comical standing next to each other. Adrian reached for nova’s hood, pushing it off her head.

“That’s better.” He said, resting his hand on her cheek “I hardly got to see your face earlier.” Nova was smirking now.

“It was the hood or a mob of angry people trying to run us out of the cafe.” She said

“I don’t want us to be a secret anymore.” Adrian said.

“What would your friends think if they found out that you were dating an Anarchist?” Nova asked.

“I don’t care.” Adrian said

“Well you should, and what happens when my uncle finds out? he’ll kill you.”

“If he actually cares about you he won’t, I think you’re making this out to be a bigger issue than it is.”

“I know, but I can’t lose you.”

“Ok, then I’m fine for things to stay as they are, I don’t need anything more than you.”

“Thank you” Nova said squeezing Adrians other hand. They sat together enjoying each other’s company.

“How’s Max?” Nova asked, Adrian sighed, he and Max had been taken care of by the captain and the dread warden, but it had only lasted for a few months and they had never had the chance to adopt the two boys, now they were effectively both orphans, Max was kept under tight security at a hospital. While they told people it was for Max’s own safety, most everyone knew Ace Anarchy liked to have the young boy where he could keep his eyes on him.

“He’s doing fine I guess, he’s feeling guilty after the incident with Danna, but they’ve been spending some quality time together recently.”

“We should go visit him again, it’s nice having someone I can be myself around, plus I’ve gotten good at disabling the cameras. I can’t believe he figured it out, he should be a detective or something.”

“I would like that.” Adrian looked into those fantastic blue eyes, a paradoxical combination of light and shattered darkness. He planted a light kiss on her lips and she smiled. He loved these moments, when it was just them and they had nothing to hide, nothing to fear. Together they sat at the base of the statue and just enjoyed each other’s company until the sun began to set.

“I have to go” nova said as she stood up, shifting her hood back over her face,

“See you.” Adrian replied as she walked away. He turned in the other direction. His house was about a block away from the cathedral and most people thought he was insane for living there, but it wasn’t all that dangerous, and he liked being close to Nova. When he arrived oscar and Ruby were sitting on the couch, which wasn’t too stange. He had given them both keys for emergencies and now they just broke into his house to hang out.

“Hey.” Oscar said, from his perch on the armrest of the couch. Ruby had a more reasonable seating arrangement and was leaned forward completely immersed in the video game. “Where were you?” He asked “doesn’t your shift at the studio end at 2:30?”

“Yeah it does.” Adrian said blushing

“Who is it?” Ruby said jumping up from her seat, she must have a sixth sense or something.

“It’s no one, really.” Adrian said, Ruby gave him a ‘I’m not that dumb you idiot’ glare.

“Sure sure.” She said, giving oscar a sideways look.

“How about you guys start dinner, I need some space.” Adrian headed to his room, most of the furniture was stuff he had drawn or painted and so tended to be simple and sort of small but he liked it. He took his sketchbook from his bedside table and got to work, he was sketching out jewelry. A simple necklace with a gold N and a little star. Maybe a bracelet? no she already had one. Jewelry was a stupid idea anyway, she had everything, and anything she didn’t have she could easily get. His thoughts started to wander and with them the purpose of his drawings, he began to draw a place he remembered going with his mom, out in the woods, and forest. The scenery was so peaceful and different from this city. He focused in on every penciled detail, each shadow, each illumination. Then he heard a knock. He jumped up and rushed to the door, slowly and carefully he squweaked the door open and peered out. It was Nova, and she was crying. Adrian opened the door all the way and pulled Nova inside, hugging her tight.

“What happened?” Adrian asked.

“We had a mission.” She sobbed “We we’re dealing with a gang on the north eastern ward, and” she took a shaky breath “I shot, one of the gang members, not in the foot or legs, Adrian I killed him, he was barely twenty and I killed him.” She was crying into Adrian’s shirt, burying her face in his shoulder, as if forcing out the images.

“Nova don’t blame yourself, what was he doing?”

“Pointing a gun at a group of hostages.” Nova said.

“So, you saved all those people.” Adrian said.

“But there had to have been a better way to do it.” Said Nova.

“Hey, Adrian!” Ruby shouted “who is it?”

“Ummmm I should leave.” Nova said. She turned but Adrian grabbed her arm,

“just try, I promise they won’t freak out.”

“Yes they will, to them, I’m a villain,” nova said, though she let Adrian pull her back into an embrace. “What happens when they hate me?” She murmured.

“We can cross that bridge if we come to it.” Adrian said, Nova pulled away, and took his hands in hers.

“Adrian, What’s going on?” Oscar and Ruby stuck their heads into the living room. Nova turned her head towards the two and everyone froze.

“Adrian,” Ruby said cautiously “I do hope you know who that is.”

“I am aware of my girlfriend’s identity, yes.”

“Your girlfriend?” Ruby exclaimed, “you’re dating an Anarchist? And Nightmare no less, Nova Ar-ti-no!” She broke down the syllables as if she was teaching a two year old a new word.

“Yes get over it.” Said Adrian, with a glare.

“Can everyone just calm down?” Nova shouted. Everyone stared at herm once again, she looked around the room, making eye contact with everyone. “Clearly this didn’t go the way you hoped Adrian, and I can tell I’m not wanted here,” she turned to Oscar and Ruby, “But just to be clear, if either of you leak a word of this and my uncle finds out, both of you will regret it.” And she stormed out the door.

“Her uncle doesn’t already know?” Oscar asked.

“No” Adrian said, his fingers massaging his temples “and she’s scared that if he finds out that he might try to kill me.”

“When were you going to tell us you were dating the most feared villain in all of Gatlon city?” Ruby asked.

“I wanted to, but we both knew people wouldn’t react well to us.”

“Well she can’t be that bad, I mean, Adrian has good judgement.” Oscar said to Ruby.

“I do, and she is nice, if you would just give her a chance.”

They left the subject alone after that, and while the rest of the evening was awkward, Adrian was glad he didn’t have to hide as much. After dinner he headed to his room and prepared Nova’s birthday present. It was perfect.

The next day Adrian awoke at 6 am sharp, energetic and ready to start the day. He began to draw and paint and prepare anything he might need, by one in the afternoon he was ready. He and Nova had decided to meet at the bus stop, three blocks from Adrian’s flat, so Adrian packed up his stuff and got going. He must have looked a bit strange with the giant duffle bags, but he didn’t really care. When he got to the bus stop Nova was there already, no hood in sight, this was Anarchists territory, she didn’t need to hide.

“What are those for?” Nova asked, an eyebrow arched.

“I thought we could go camping for your birthday.” Adrian said meekly. Nova surprised him by giving him a big hug.

“Thank you.” She whispered “No one has ever done something like this for me.” When the bus arrived, they both got on and stayed on for more than an hour until they finally got off at the last stop. Nova had contacted her uncle giving him a vague reason for her absence. By the time they had set up camp it was about 6 pm. The sun was just starting to set, illuminating the world in a crisp golden light. They sat together warming themselves by the fire and staring up at the stars. So separate from politics, from villains, from heroes, from secrets and all of their problems. Nova closed her eyes and Adrian did too, his over Nova’s shoulder. For a few minutes they sat in peace, then Adrian realized that Nova was fidgeting jerkily, as if she was having a nightmare, a moment later her eyes snapped open and she cried out

“No!” Then everything faded to black.

When Adrian came to the first thing he realized was that it was late, the sky was black and the noise from other campsites had faded. Next he saw Nova leaning over him and smiling, a wet towel pressed to his forehead.

“Sorry about that.” She said,

“I thought the flashbacks had gotten better.” Adrian said quizzically. Nova took in a deep breath,

“So did I, but after a few moments it came back and…” she shuddered, her whole body quaking from the terrifying memory, “then I reached the part where I put the hitman to sleep, I accidentally tranquilized you.” She said sheepishly. Adrian reached a hand up to her cheek but Nova tensed up and pushed it down, by his wrist which was cover by his jacket sleeve. She couldn’t even bring herself to touch him.

“I trust you Nova.” He said slipping his hand in hers. “Always and implicitly.”

“I love you Adrian.” She said resting her forehead on his, breathing in the late night air and feeling herself relax against him. “Always and implicitly.”

#renegades #nova #au #adrian everhart #adrian rawles #nova artino

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edens-breathless-melodies-moved · 6 years

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If I Could Lie

Request: “Hey, I just wanted Aizawa angst pleaseeeeeeee! I want tears dammit! Thank you for your time!!!! : )” - Anon

Words: 6,711

Pairing: Past!Aizawa x Reader, Aizawa x Midnight

Category: Angst

Warnings: Gore, mentions of: self harm, suicide, depression, mental problems, cursing, dark themes

Summary: It’s been twelve years since they’ve split.

And for twelve years you’ve wanted to see the sun come up for the least time. But Emi Fukakado won’t let that happen. You’ve wasted so much of your young life away because of them. It’s time to let go.

A/N: I was heavily inspired not only from my own personal problems from life, but also with Billie Eilish’s song “when the party’s over”. The lyrics and music video literally resonated within me, so I couldn’t not write this. Anon wanting angts was just sheer luck, but thank god. Y’all want angst? You’re getting angst.

- Admin Sapphire

______________________

She clutched her purse strap tightly, wide eyes gazing in sheer awe and intimidation at the building in front of her. Amnesiac Corporations: Let Us Help You Forget. The words filled the air with their presence, the silver catching the early afternoon rays of light. The building alone was at least 30 floors high with a sleek appearance, making someone of her stature look out of place near it. But she was sent here on purpose.

For her own good.

The woman scoffed and rolled her eyes, her best friend’s words echoing in her mind. Her best friend of almost thirteen years had referred her here, saying she had “inside connections” to get her in here for free. I love you, y’know, is how this all started.

It’s been 12 years, (Y/N). You’re not getting better, and you won’t let go. It’s time, and I know a place that can help you, honestly.

She took a deep breath and continued on, willing her body to walk towards the large glass doors. A doorman was waiting there, smiling silently as he held the door open for her. She thanked him quietly, and carried on into the building.

Again, she was in awe at the sight of everything. The inside was just as sleek as the outside, white marble with dark mahogany wood accents gave the space a very chic and modern feel to it, and little green plants were placed everywhere sparsely. The entire area felt calming, and (Y/N) unconsciously began relaxing, the grip on her purse strap loosening.

She spotted what appeared to be the waiting portion of the main floor and began walking over there towards the comfy looking dark brown plush chairs when a voice called out to her, startling her slightly.

“Excuse me! Miss?”

She swiveled towards the front desk in confusion, (e/c) eyes landing on a young looking man who was waving towards her energetically. Warily, she walked over to him and he only stopped waving when she was less than five feet away from him. He huffed with a smile on his face, pale cheeks tinged a light red from his frantic waving.

“I’m sorry to startle you, Miss.” He began, and (Y/N) opened her mouth to wave it off but was cut short when he spoke again. “I know you dislike being startled, though you try to brush it off. You hate that little jolt of fear, huh? Me too.”

She slammed her mouth shut, eyes wide as she stares at him in disbelief. Paranoia began setting in, and her right hand unconsciously moved to behind her back to pull on her hair in anxiety. Who is this man? “How did you-” He cut her off again. Now she was beginning to get irritated. “My name is Yoarashi Inasa, and I’m a close friend of Emi, who is also a mutual friend of yours. She is the one who spoke with me about your appointment here.”

(Y/N) felt the tension be released from her shoulders, and her hand stopped clawing at her hair, her scalp relieved of the stinging pain. “That explains a lot.” She said sheepishly, a small smile on her lips. She chuckled when Inasa nodded enthusiastically. “Yep! Emi also sent me a photo of you and all that when she scheduled your appointment, that’s how I was able to recognize you.” (Y/N) nodded every couple of words, processing everything he said.

When he finished, he clapped his hands together, and gave her a charismatic yet professional smile.”Welcome to Amnesiac Corporations, Ms. (L/N). Let me take you to the proper floor for your appointment.” With a light laugh, (Y/N) smiled and followed Inasa as he navigated her towards an elevator she never noticed before. She stepped in, and Inasa followed before pressing the button more towards the bottom of the keypad, and Floor 24 lit up above the doors.

“Wow…” She murmured under her breath, and only realised she said it out loud when Inasa gave a small chuckle, and her whole face felt warm. “I know,” He hummed. “The building’s pretty impressive. I almost couldn’t believe it when I saw it with my own eyes, too.” (Y/N) nodded in agreement, and a few moments later the elevator came to a stop, a small chime ringing before the door opened to their designated floor.

She stepped out after Inasa and peered around at the new area. It looked just the same as the ground floor, and another secretary was also at the front desk. (Y/N) gasped when she saw who it was, and felt a mixture of anger, disbelief, and sheer amusement. Emi locked eyes with her and laughed outright, waving at her lightly.

(Y/N) ran off towards the front desk, leaving a roaring Inasa behind her, his mouth covered with his hand as he laughed. (Y/N) reached the front desk and slammed her hands onto it, giving Emi a stern look. “You didn’t tell me you fucking worked here!” She exclaimed, the curse words flowing from her mouth like second nature. Emi giggled and shook her head.

“I mean, I did say that I had special connections.” She tried.

(Y/N) rolled her eyes. “You’re such a brat.”

She heard retreating footsteps behind her, and she turned her head to see Inasa walking back into the elevator, waving his arm at her again in departure. “I’ll leave everything to you, Emi. It was great meeting you, (Y/N). See you soon!” And with, the elevator closed, chiming it way and signalling he was heading back towards the first floor.

Emi stood from her chair and walked around to stand next to (Y/N). She flashed her a cheeky smile, and straightened her posture. “Welcome to Amnesiac Corporations, (Y/N). Allow me guide you towards our briefing room before your appointment.” (Y/N) rolled her eyes but smiled at her best friend before linking arms with her and laughing as Emi began waltzing them towards an unmarked door down at the end of the corridor.

By the time they reached there, (Y/N) was red faced and giggly. Emi was no better, hair slightly askew from swinging. They straightened themselves out before Emi opened the door and ushered (Y/N) into a plain white room. The room itself was large and expansive. The white tiled floors looked as if they had never been stepped on, and a white chair sat behind a tall slim white table, an empty glass resting on it.

(Y/N) raised her eyebrows in confusion, and Emi just shushed her and guided her towards the table. (Y/N) sat down in the chair, and looked at the empty glass. There were no smudges on it, not even dried specks of water. It felt strangely off, and it made (Y/N) slightly uneasy.

Emi stuck her hand out in front of (Y/N)’s face. “I’ll take your purse and coat, ma’am.” She used that annoying stereotypical old secretary lady voice, and (Y/N) laughed before shrugging out of her light jacket and handing off her purse to Emi. Emi grasped the items in her hand before making her way to a door that was towards (Y/N)’s left. It wasn’t the same door they entered in. That door was directly in front of her, right?

“I’ll be right back with your change of clothes.” When her eyebrows hit her hairline again, Emi scoffed and rolled her forest coloured eyes. “You’ll want them, trust me.” And with that, she was out the door.

As soon as the door clicked shut, the room fell into a deafening silence, and (Y/N) could hear her own heart beat clear as day. Looking around in curiosity, she tried to find something distinguishable in the room. It was way too blank to just be here. The walls and ceilings were white, the floor tiles were white, the chair she was sitting was white, and even the table. It was only when she turned around that she saw floor drains behind her, the silver shining bright in the artificial light above her (which was also white.)

That was odd. Why would they need floor drains in such a plain room as this? That also sparked another question in (Y/N)’s mind. Why would I need a change of clothes? What briefing was necessary? Was there a doctor involved? Where’s Emi?

She thoughts quickly became frantic, and her hand quickly found its way back to her hair and began tugging harshly know, her sharp teeth sinking into her bottom lip and began chewing. Her eyes grew wide and her head kept swiveling around, trying to figure out where she exactly was and why did Emi leave her here. Her heart was beating wildly in her chest, and she felt the tearing of a couple of her locks beginning to disconnect from her scalp. Just as she was about to begin screaming, Emi returned and closed the door behind her softly.

In a flash, (Y/N) willed her mental breakdown away, and she snatched her hand away from behind her back, returning to a relaxed demeanor. She gave a smile that looked warm and genuine to Emi when she turned around. As it should.

“Sorry I took so long,” Emi waved slightly in the air with her words, her left arm free while her right arm carried with her a change of what looked like a white shirt and white pants.

Great. More white.

“The closet that held all these was locked and my key card wouldn’t work so I had to track down that cute janitor I told you about. I didn’t mean for it to take twenty minutes. Sorry.”

“Twenty minutes?!” (Y/N) replied owlishly, shock in her voice. Did she really spend twenty minutes breaking down? It didn’t feel that long…

“Yeah…” Emi rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. “Time goes by so quickly here, huh?”

“Apparently.” (Y/N) mumbled, and accepted the clothes when Emi handed them to her.

(Y/N) stood up to change, and when she noticed Emi not turning to leave, she just deadpanned and stared at her, and Emi did the same. A minute or two went by before Emi threw her hands up in exasperation. “Jesus christ, we used to live together! Just change your clothes!” (Y/N) laughed before she began peeling her shirt off. “I just wanted to see how long I could make you squirm before you yelled at me.” (Y/N)’s tone was smug, and just as she lifted her shirt over her head, the fabric blocking her view, she felt a cold, small hand slap her stomach, and (Y/N) let out a small shriek.

“You dickhead!”

“You deserved it, fucker!”

Their laughs continued as (Y/N) finally pulled the shirt from her head, dropping it to the floor. The black was such a startling contrast to the white that it sort of threw her off, but she shook her head. When she looked up, she saw that Emi was no longer smiling, her eyes focused on her exposed flesh. A smart remark was on the tip of her tongue, something along the lines of “Like what you see? I charge £150 a strip show” but it died in her mouth when she followed her gaze to what she was looking at.

Emi was staring at the ugly smattering of scars that where blotched on her both of her sides. The angry red and shiny pink lines contrasted with her paled (s/c) flesh, and (Y/N) could see the sadness and anger in Emi’s eyes. Feeling judged, she quickly snatched up the large white t-shirt and threw it on, the fabric extremely soft and the large sleeves reaching all the way down to her elbows. “Stop staring… it’s nothing you’ve never seen before.” She muttered, and it was only when she began removing her leggings that Emi snapped out of her reverie.

“Sorry, (n/n).” She murmured in apology, using (Y/N)’s nickname. “It’s fine.” (Y/N) sighed, and pulled up the thin and soft sweatpants, the material clinging to her legs more like leggings. Quietly, she sat back down into her chair, and looked up in confusion when Emi coughed at her, wriggling her eyebrows. “Shoes too, sweetcheeks.”

“Are you kidding me!?” (Y/N) exclaimed in exasperation, and Emi laughed as she kicked her shoes off and threw her socks angrily into them. She shivered when her bare feet collided with the strangely warm ground, not expecting the temperature.

Emi picked up all of her clothing and deposited them in a bag that (Y/N) never noticed before. Once the bag was tied, she held out her clipboard, and the light playfulness in her eyes was replaced with serious formality. The sudden change made (Y/N) uneasy, and she gulped in anticipation.

“The purpose of Amnesiac Corporations is to aid our customers in helping them forget and move on from undesirable or painful memories from their past, usually caused by some form of debilitating trauma.” Emi read off of her clipboard, and then looked at (Y/N) expectantly, and (Y/N) nodded in acknowledgement. So she continued. “We use modern and innovative medical and psychological medicine to help our clients achieve the bliss they need. Please look up to the glass on the table ahead.”

(Y/N) switched her gaze from Emi’s face to the empty glass in front of her. Before her eyes, she saw a hologram appear before her, the blue light illuminating her face and causing her to gasp. “Before you is a menu that has options to choose from that deals with your category of pain that you wish to forget. Please scroll through and choose your category.”

With a hesitant hand, (Y/N) brought her fingers to the hologram and was amazed when she actually felt a sort of cool mistyness that the object in front of her was real. Casually, she began scrolling through the options before her, and her heart ached when she read some of them off.

“Child death… Loss of parents… Murder witness… These are all horrible, Emi. Do people actually come here to forget these?”

Emi nodded her head sadly, large eyes filled with sadness, the dark green almost clear. “They do. Now please, pick your category.” Nodding understandingly, (Y/N) brought her gaze back to the list before her, and continued scrolling until she found what she was looking for, her gaze hardening and a distant look filling her face. Her trembling finger hovered over the two she wanted to pick, ironically sitting side by side with one another.

#403 - Damaging Betrayal of Close Friend/Family Member #404 - Damaging Relationship Termination/Cheating Partner

Noticing her apprehension between the two options, Emi softly cleared her throat to grab (Y/N)’s attention, said girl’s (e/c) eyes filled with an impassive look. They were widened slightly, and Emi began to worry. “You may choose up to 3 options, but be warned, they may overlap and cause some unwanted side effects, which I will get to once you‘ve made your decision.”

Nodding numbly, (Y/N) tapped on both #403 and #404, and a pop up appeared, asking for confirmation on her decision. Tapping “Yes”, the message disappeared, as did the hologram. (Y/N) focused her gaze on Emi again, who looked sympathetic and began reading off of her clipboard again. “Now that you have made your decision, I must now warn you on the side effects of the options that you have chosen.” Nodding for her to continue, (Y/N) listened as Emi began droning off things such as “Undistinguishable emotions”, “Unfamiliar responses to family members or friends from the time period in which the event occured,” and even “Reoccuring and frequent déjà vu.”

And each time Emi had something else to bring up, (Y/N) nodded her head to signal she fully understood. Finally, Emi ended her little “side effects” spiel, another difficult expression filled her face, that uneasy feeling again returning to (Y/N)’s chest.

“Now I need you sign off on our waiver, which is standard to everyone client. It establishes that you choose to have this procedure done on your own consent, and we’ve warned you what may possibly happen as an after effect slash side effect.” Bringing her the clipboard, Emi watched with worried eyes as (Y/N) looked over the paper with a dull expression, her (adj) eyes numb. I hope this works for her.

After signing off her name, Emi took a couple of steps back until she was roughly ten feet away from (Y/N). With a curt nod, she looked to the upper corner of the room and clicked her tongue twice. Suddenly, a slit in the floor opened, and a small wall appeared in front (Y/N), coming up only two feet possibly. With the wall in place, it felt as if she was being trapped in a box. (Y/N) jumped in her seat when it appeared, electricity flying through her veins.

“What’s this for?” She questioned, confusion heavy in her tone. Emi smiled lightly. “Safety precautions. The procedure can get a bit… messy.”

(Y/N)’s eyes widened comically, and Emi couldn’t help but burst out into laughter.

“Are you trying to fucking kill me?!” (Y/N) proclaimed incredulously, disbelief lacing her words. Emi’s light laughter soothed her shot nerves a bit, but her question still hung unanswered. When she finally caught her breath and recomposed herself, Emi wiped a stray tear from the corner of her eye before righting herself. “No, I am not going to kill you. But the procedure does become messy quick.”

(Y/N) looked at her expectantly, and Emi sighed before explaining. “The procedure purges your body of all the trauma and undesirable memories, figuratively and literally. We chose an all white room and clothing choice so that we may see the purging more clearly. It also aids us in seeing if you need a second treatment.” Her words were swimming in her ears, and all (Y/N) could do is nod in false understanding.

Emi’s mouth then twisted into a grimace. “This is the part I never enjoy…” She muttered quietly under her breath, thankful (Y/N) didn’t hear her. Straightening herself, Emi locked eyes with (Y/N) again before starting.

“The glass before you will fill with the liquid that will commence the purging, the amount and colour of it determining the amount it has to purge. But it will only do that after we do a scan and find everything that must be discarded.” (Y/N) stiffened, but Emi soothed her sudden worry.

“It’s like a flash of light for the scanning to commence. It will only take a second.”

Nodding yet again, (Y/N) sat back and calmed her breathing. Everything will be fine, you can trust Emi. She’s your best friend. She would never do anything to hurt you, right? (Y/N) stopped breathing when a little voice in the back of her mind spoke up.

The same thing was said about Nemuri, wasn’t it?

The awful feeling thudded in her chest again, as it has these past twelve years, and (Y/N) scrunched her eyes up in pain and sadness. The thudding was a familiar and yet unwelcome feeling in her chest, as it always is whenever bringing up those two.

Nemuri and Shouta.

Just thinking of their names nearly sent her into another episode, and the thudding became pounding. It was only when a flash of white blinded her behind her eyelids did she come back to the present. Emi gave her a sad smile, having noticed on the small episode (Y/N) just went through. It hurt her too, after all these years.Watching someone she loves in so much pain.

“Told you it was simple and quick. Now look to your glass.” Completely sidetracked from her impending mental breakdown, (Y/N) switched her gaze over to the empty glass in front of her, and watched in awe as a liquid began bubbling from the bottom of it as if from nowhere.

A thin and black liquid bubbled up, the liquid so dark that it seemed to suck up every light that came near it. (Y/N) watched with dread, as did Emi, as the glass continued to fill to the brim, only stopping when it threatened to spill. Emi whistled lowly. “That’s quite the amount you got going on there-” She stopped when she saw the scathing look (Y/N) shot her and quickly snapped her mouth shut. Pink tinged her pale cheeks in shame. “Sorry.”

Huffing, (Y/N) slowly raised a hand to grab the glass, and her fingers nearly grazed it before Emi called out to her.

“Wait!”

Immediately, she snapped her hands back to her lap, fingers worriedly tugging and pulling on the hem of her shirt. Her scared eyes met with Emi’s worried ones. “I will admit to you,” she started slowly. “That the procedure is known to be… painful, when one has been suffering for a long time, especially like you.”

(Y/N) gulped, and reconsideration flashed through her mind quickly. Emi saw this, and quickly spoke up again.

“You’ve been suffering twelve years because of them, (Y/N). You’ve destroyed your own body and mind because of them.” Emi’s voice filled with raw emotion, and (Y/N) looked at her in surprise. She never knew how strongly this affected her.

“Don’t forget who found you and took you to the hospital after what you did to yourself. Who changed your bandages and never left your side.” Shame filled (Y/N)’s face, and she cast her head down.

“A little pain to rid yourself of over a decades worth of it is nothing.” Emi declared.

“Think of yourself for once.”

(Y/N) lifted her head again and steadied her gaze on the glass again. Her fingers pulled and tugged on the hem of her shirt again as she tossed and turned in her mind for an answer, face blank as she stared at the glass with hooded and hiddenly conflicted eyes. Finally, after what felt like ages, she straightened her back and hesitantly lifted her hand to grab the glass. She carefully picked it up, as to not spill any of the precious onyx liquid inside of it.

She slowly brought the glass to her lips, and steeling her nerves, she took a deep breath before placing the glass to her mouth, taking a small sip of it. It tasted like water, leaving her feeling strangely refreshed, as if she was dying of thirst before and didn’t know until now. Finding herself minutely relieved by this, she brought the glass to her lips again and began to drink greedily. But the more she drank, the more the liquid slowly became more bitter. Her eyebrows pulled together in discomfort, and she breathed heavily out of her nose, fogging up the glass.

Finally, as she neared the end of what felt like forever, the taste was so bitter she felt as if she were to throw up. Sipping up the last of it, she pulled the empty glass from her lips, cheeks bulging slightly as she refused to drink the last of it. The taste was so vile that she coughed slightly, some of the liquid escaping her lips and dripping back into the cup.

It was only when her muscles began to hurt that she finally swallowed it, a small amount still left on the right corner of her lip. As she swallowed the last of it, she slowly brought the glass back to the table it was on, looking once again as it did before, minus the transparent remnants of the dark liquid streaking the inside of it. A dull thudding began in her chest again, but it wasn’t the same as before. It felt deeper, sadder. With a shaky hand, she brought her hand back from the glass and wiped the remnants of the drink from her mouth.

As she swiped her hand across her mouth, the thudding was so hard that it felt as if were shaking her physically. A sharp spasm streaked through her shoulder and neck, and mid wipe her shoulder and neck seized and spasmed, lolling her head like a bobblehead, shaking her to her core.

The thudding grew heavier and she parted her lips lightly as she raised her hands to push some of her hair from her face, gasping for air as the bitter feeling burned her throat, the thudding in her chest reaching what felt like its climax. The feeling reverberated throughout her entire body now. Sniffling as she brought her hands down, something clicked in her, and her head lifted straight, eyes landing on Emi who watched in shock.

(Y/N)’s eyes were wide, dead, face impassive. Emi waved her hand to see if (Y/N) could see her, but (Y/N)’s eyes were looking straight through her. Emi recognized that look from both her past and from her job here. Funny how (Y/N) had that look in her eyes long before this company existed.

The purging was about to commence.

The blank look from before melted off of her face, and (Y/N)’s eyebrows scrunched together and her face softened and twisted as if she was about to cry, pain and sadness clear as day in her eyes, and so very very raw.

Her lips parted as she took in little gasps, and (Y/N)’s chest felt as if it were about to explode, tilting her head up slightly to the ceiling. Twelve years of grief and pain and betrayal bubbled its way up to the surface, and a singular hot, thick tear poured straight from the tear duct of her right eye. But instead of her vision swimming in clear blurriness, a sort of black swam in her sight. The tears wouldn’t stop coming, and they dripped thickly and fast down her cheeks and chin, running down her neck and staining her white clothes.

Sobs slowly began falling from her lips, and she sniffled and shook, eyes blinking as more black tears began falling from them, pouring like a river from her eyes. The pain in her chest was too much, and all she could see before her was memories from all those years ago. Memories of them.

Shouta’s face floated in front of her, his wide and charming smile making her gasp and hiccup as the tears came harder, the whole front of her shirt sticking to her skin and black as the night. All the nights they spent together, all of the quick hugs, the silent kisses. The hysterical inside jokes they had with one another, the gently caresses and understanding looks they gave to each other in the comfort of the dark, when it was just him and her.

Her voice grew in volume, and soon her whimpering sobs grew to flat out crying, her voice straining as she shook, her hands coming up to wipe at her tears, eyes squeezing shut as the deep dull pain continued to throb through her. The black smeared all over her cheeks and some of her tears got into her mouth, staining her gums black. But the tears didn’t stop there, and neither did the memories.

All the hours she spent with Nemuri over the years. The days where they wouldn’t have to worry about anyone but themselves. The nights spent with one another at parties, the afternoons where they basked in the sunlight and spoke with one another like sisters. The secrets they’ve confided with one another, what (Y/N) trusted her with…

And things could only become worse.

The day she received her final text from him, his words saying that we wanted to break up because they weren’t communicating enough shattering her right where she stood. But she held on to hope. He said if I fixed our communication problem, he would get back with me. She cried to Emi their senior year. He’s still in love with me. He still wants to be with me.

But when she made her way to the gym the following week, on her way home, she saw him speaking with Nemuri, her best friend since sixth grade. An awful feeling ran through (Y/N)’s chest when she saw them together, and the memory brought up an even harsher bought of cries, her tears now having soaked into her pants.

Nemuri confronted her later on with the news that she and Shouta had gotten together, that she had feelings for him since the previous year, and to not take it too harshly. It numbed her, and it only truly hit her when she came home. Her tears were endless, and that’s when that disgusting thudding in her chest began. All those years before.

Emi was there through it all. I was going to tell him that day. She sobbed into Emi’s shirt. I was going to tell him that I was willing to try again. That I wanted to be with him again. (Y/N)’s cries filled the entire room, small shrieks coming every now and then, her dirtied hands coming to grip her hair tightly and she began pulling hard. Her entire outfit was soaked black, and the black tears now began pooling on the floor by her feet.

For months she watched them prosper and love each other while she sat forgotten in the back, still yearning and hurting for the one she still loved, snatched away from her by her former best friend. All the problems that she had before, the problem’s that Shouta helped her overcome and forget came back with a vicious intent. She began eating less, sleeping more. Emi and others who cared for her worried, but she always brushed them off and convincingly told them she was fine. She built up this façade for months, only letting her true emotions run when she was on her own.

She began blaming herself for everything, as if she were the reason he left. That she left him unsatisfied. That her giving her body and love wasn’t enough for him, that she was not enough.

That she was unloveable.

These toxic emotions unsheathed themselves from the depths of her mind where they had hidden for years, and with no one to stop them, they ran free.

Unloveable.

That word was repeated by herself like a mantra all these years.

Those were the words she said as she maimed her sides with her kitchen knife the summer they graduated from high school, the pain oblivious to her as she kept slicing.

“You were never good enough for him.”

“He only used you for experience.”

“You gave him your everything and it wasn’t enough. Pathetic.”

“She is everything you could never fulfill for him.”

“You’re not worthy.”

“Unloveable, that’s all you’ll ever be.”

“I’m unloveable.”

“I’m destined to die alone… I’m okay with that.”

“He never loved you. And you were okay with it. Just lie to yourself.”

The knife kept going, and she only stopped when her fingers were too slicked to hold on properly. She looked at herself in the mirror, bloody, crazed, and crying. Even as she fell to the floor with a thud, even as Emi busted the door down and screamed when she saw her, those words never left (Y/N)’s lips.

Unloveable.

Unloveable

UNLOVEABLE.

(Y/N) wailed, her body scrunching forward as the thudding increased, her tears dripping straight from her eyes and onto the massive puddle that filled the floor.

She began screaming, her words flying through the air of the room.

“It hurts! It hurts!” She moaned, her voice hoarse and nearly incoherent as she cried harshly. Emi was crying herself, horrified and stricken with such grief as she saw (Y/N) twist in her chair, (e/c) eyes swimming in black tears that soaked her being and collected in a pool on the floor.

“I-it burns!” She wailed. “The p-pain won’t end. M-my chest…” She hiccuped harshly, hand coming to grip her soaked shirt tightly, “ I-it’s killing me! Make it s-stop! Please!” All of her memories flooded her vision at once, pain lancing through her being as their faces flooded her. The years flew by, and it all showered down upon her. All of the nights spent awake, thinking of them and pounding and pulling and scratching her body, trying to claw this disease from her.

The toxicity spread into her love life. Relationships never lasted long, the thought of him either too much for her or the distrust she felt in them, as if all those men and women would abandon her the same as he did, and she shied away, trusting no one.

That tiny voice from before spoke up again.

It’s payback. It whispered.

“Why?” (Y/N) whimpered, face still scrunched as the tears continued to pour, sobs still emanating from her chest.

For everything you couldn’t do for him. Your body wasn’t enough, wasn’t perfect, so he settled for something better. So now you fade away. You’re nothing without him.

(Y/N) screamed, bashing her fists into her head. “ Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!” She screamed, and the voice laughed.

You know I’m right. You’re nothing without him, and he doesn’t want you anymore. He hasn’t wanted you for twelve years. So just die.

(Y/N) cried even harder, her hands leaving her hair and gripping her chest through the soaked material, her nails biting into her flesh.

Maybe it’s right. She thought dully.

That’s when another voice piped up. Stronger than the last.

No, it is not right.

(Y/N) gasped, so thoroughly shocked that her sobs ceased, the tears still pouring down her face. They seemed to come even heavier now, so much so that she couldn’t see Emi ahead of her.

You’re life has been controlled by them for too long now.

The voice was strong and warm, easing the thudding in her chest, but the tears came even harder.

You are more than just the memories of them. The memories of him. Of her.

(Y/N) nodded to no one in particular, her face now calm.

Forget him. Forget them. Let them go.

(Y/N)’s voice was just a whisper, and Emi almost couldn’t catch it over the steady sound of heavy trickling, (Y/N)’s tears still falling.

“Let me let you go.”

The black liquid began dripping from the edges of her lips, and Emi watched in horror as the liquid now fell from both her eyes and mouth, the amount not being possible to be held in just her body of that size. It was building up faster than the floor drains could discard, and the liquid rushed up and lapped at the wall separating Emi from (Y/N). (Y/N)’s eyes were blank, and she stared straight ahead. Her mind felt lighter, her chest no longer hurt. She felt as ease. Wait, that’s not the word. This is a feeling she hasn’t felt in twelve years.

Emi watched as (Y/N)’s lips tilted upwards in the first true smile Emi hasn’t seen in years, and it elicited such a strong emotion from her that her tears fell again, her thin hand coming up to cover her mouth as sobs fell out.

(Y/N) was at peace.

And with that knowledge, (Y/N) closed her tired eyes, a smile still on her lips.

Her body slumped, and with a scream from Emi, she fell right into the pool she made, her body disappearing from sight.

____________________________

“I think that was the best sourdough grilled cheese I’ve ever fucking had.” (Y/N) moaned, her hands resting on her slightly distended stomach.

Emi laughed as she picked at the remnants of her salad, eyes warm as they were trained on her friend. “Well you kinda ate three of them, and you just came up from anesthesia like,” Emi checked her watch. “Three hours ago, so maybe your taste buds aren’t particularly active right now.”

(Y/N) scoffed. “Fuck you. It was good.”

The two women paid for their meals and left Emi’s job. (The food court in there was to die for, and seeing how (Y/N) had cracked her head when she fell during her purging and needed emergency staples, she was desperate for anything.)

They walked out into the afternoon light, the sun high in the sky. For 2’o’clock on a Wednesday, it was pretty damn nice. A light breeze rushed by, ruffling the white dress (Y/N) was wearing, lended to her courtesy of Amnesiac Corp.

“Want to head to the park?” Emi suggested, already walking in the park’s direction. “There are swings there.”

(Y/N) jumped a bit in joy. “Absolutely.”

So they began walking, talking amongst one another about random things.

“Okay so obviously I don’t remember this,” (Y/N) started, and Emi snorted. “Obviously? You smashed your head into the ground and cracked it open” (Y/N) ignored her and continued. “But did I really gush out that much of the black tar stuff? Like honestly?” Emi nodded her head. “If you want, I can send over the footage if you want to see for yourself.” (Y/N) nodded her head vigorously. “Hell yeah. That’s writing material right there.”

Both women laughed at her response, and Emi’s chest swelled with happiness. (Y/N) was practically glowing. She hasn’t seen her this happy in years. There’s nothing that could hurt her now.

While they were walking, (Y/N) accidentally collided with someone’s shoulder as they were walking by, jolting her and whoever she hit. (Y/N) turned to apologize, cheeks warm with embarrassment, when both Emi and the man she collided with gasped.

Mother fucker! Emi screamed in her mind as her jaw dropped open. I knew I spoke too soon.

(Y/N)’s wide pale eyes locked with equally large charcoal eyes, light pink lips hanging open as shock spread across his fair and handsome face.

“(Y/N)…” Shouta breathed out in disbelief, his words nearly not even leaving his lips. His eyes held grief, sadness, and regret.

(Y/N) stood speechless, her eyes never leaving his.

“Wh-” Before she could finish her word, Shouta grabbed her hands, his large warm hands enveloping hers in a familiar tingle, his alabaster skin contrasting with her pale (s/c) tone.

“(Y/N) it’s been years. I-I’ve missed you so fucking much!” He began gushing, his emotions making it hard for him to get his words out. Emi was silently seething as she listened to him declare his still everlasting love to her best friend. (Y/N) was silent through it all.

She listened diligently as he spoke of how he heard of what she did to herself and how he and Nemuri had a big falling out a couple of years after it, due to his grief and regret.

“She was just a rebound that lasted longer than it should’ve. I was weak.” Shouta conceded, his eyes slightly watery. “I’ve thought about you non-stop the last ten years. I’ve tried to get in touch with you, but it was as if you disappeared.” His hands shook as they still grasped hers. (Y/N)’s eyes trailed down to where she was connected with him, his fingers intertwined with hers looking so right.

“Please tell me you’ll give me another chance?” He looked into her eyes, his own pleading with hers for genuine forgiveness. Emi looked to her too, curiosity getting the better of her.

(Y/N) looked conflicted, eyebrows scrunched together and lower lips caught in her teeth as she thought. Slowly, she untangled Shouta’s warm hands from her own, gently placing them back to his sides. He looked at her hurt, confusion laced in his eyes. They both waited in bated breath, ears straining to hear (Y/N)’s verdict.

“I’m so sorry,” she began, shaking her head lightly, hair flowing with her like a soft wave. She looked to ethereal.

“Who are you?”

#bnha x reader #aizawa shouta #aizawa x reader #aizawa shouta x reader #angst #cheating aizawa #aizawa x midnight #bnha midnight #kayama nemuri #oof #mental health #self harm #triggers #not for the faint of heart #harsh language #fucked up past #happy ending

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playingwithfirefanfic · 6 years

Text

Chapter 74 pt. ll Closure.

Jhene:

The door knocked softly before it pushed open and this time Chris stuck his head around the door. “Your not going to kick me out again are you?” He joked to lighten the mood, I just continued to stare at him cautiously, no smile, no chuckle, nothing. Not achieving the humorous response from me that he was hoping for, Chris sighed quietly to himself before he gently closed the room door “Can I sit here?” he asked gesturing towards the space on the bed. I nodded in agreement and then he sat down on the edge of the bed. For a moment there was complete silence between the two of us, I was fighting the urge not to cry and I could see from my peripheral that he was racking his brain trying to figure out what exactly to say to me, but the silence was daunting and uncomfortable, nothing like it had been in the past, if a stranger were to walk into the room in the moment, they would’ve never guessed the extensive history between the two of us. Finally we both went to speak, our words colliding at the same time. “You go first” he said to me.

“Kyra told me your going back to prison” my voice came out lighter than expected.

“Yeah” he sighed sadly

"What happened?”

"The judge got me for probation violation. That night at ol’boys crib they got me on the surveillance” he explained, referring to the night that he foolishly broke into Marlon’s place.

"How?" I asked him. Chris shrugged

“I guess he reported me, I still don't really know how they won’t tell me due to witness protection or some bullshit like that”

“But why would he report you and not say anything about me?” I questioned

“I don't know Jhene…” he said hesitantly, his tone leading me to believe there was something else to this story, something he was hiding. I frowned at him as he suspiciously broke eye contact with me.

“Your not telling me something” I said to him. I'd known Chris for long enough and bared witness to his lies way too many times to not be able to tell when he was keeping something away from me and right now he wasn’t saying everything.

“I don't want to stress you out more than I have already” he said

“I’m laying in a hospital bed Chris. Nothing will stress me out more than I am already, just say it.” I mumbled.

Chris bowed his head as he rubbed his hands over his face. I happened to peep his knuckles and they were both cut up and swollen. I made a mental note to ask him about it after.

“Do you remember the day when I got arrested at my crib?” he asked, I nodded yes for him to continue “Well Jennifer’s father was the detective interviewing that day, he showed me evidence of witness statements and the video from the surveillance camera caught me getting into the car right outside the nigga’s crib…”

“Okay...But that doesn't prove anything you could’ve parked your car there coincidently for all they know” I frowned

“That's not all Jhene” he sighed. “On the tape the car that I’m getting in is the one that I picked up from Cass that night. No licence plate on it but he a detective so he put two and two together and realised it's a stolen car. Something about there's been a pattern of cars that have been stolen in and around LA recently and the car I was in happened to “fit one of the descriptions” I tried to act like I didn't know what the fuck he was talking about but he ain't stupid. So he offered me a deal, either I tell him the name of the person I picked the car up from and he'd wipe my whole shit clean, no records or nothing or I proceed with the case and take it to the judge…” he trailed off.

“You proceeded with the case?” I whispered in hopes that maybe I was wrong, but the look on his face already told me my answer. He didn't need to. “Why would you do that Chris?” I stressed

“Nae I had to”

“No you didn't! Why won't you just tell them?” My voice cracked. Chris sighed deeply,

“You know I can't do that Jhene” he said.

“But why?” I cried “Why are you protecting Cass? He don't give a fuck about you he never has!”

“Its not him I’m protecting, it's you, I gotta protect my family. If Cass found out I snitched on him, y'all the first people he's gonna go after. I been with him since I was 14, I've seen the type of evil shit he's capable of. I'd rather wake up everyday for 4 years behind bars than have the risk of something bad happening to y'all”

“But he’ll be in prison Chris probably for the rest of his life after they find out about all the shit he’s involved in, he'll be locked up!” I argued, Chris sighed exhaustedly for the umpteenth time.

“That doesn't matter Jhene, that’ll probably make it worst. He's got people, he damn near controls the whole wood, I'll have niggas coming after me that I don't even know. I can't live my life that way. I can't spend every waking second watching my back, worrying if you or my moms is even alive”

"Okay so we can move. I’ve still got my place back home, you can come and live in New York with me or we can go somewhere else; you don't have to stay in LA Chris!”

“Jhene.”

“What?!” I stressed

“I can't just go to New York and either way I leave with you, that nigga knows where my mama stays at, I'm not risking that shit Nae I'm sorry!”

"Well what about Asia? What am I supposed to tell her when she gets older?” I asked him, he was lost for words. I scoffed shaking my head as the tears continued to roll down my face. I wasn't sure if I was more mad at the fact that he had voluntarily handed himself to the feds, or because he literally had no explanation for what I was supposed to tell our daughter, he was going away for the prime years of her childhood and all he had to offer me was a loss of words? “You promised me we wasn't gonna lose you again” I said after a moment of silence.

“Y’all aren’t loosing me Jhene, I'm still gonna be here” he argued, I looked at him incredulously

"No your not! How are you gonna still be here when your going away for 4 years! You haven't even been in Asia’s life for a full year yet and your leaving her already”

“I know” he mumbled regretfully

“She's gonna be 6 years old when you get out…” I whispered. Chris looked at me with nothing but sadness in his eyes, because of the poor decisions he decided to make in life, the one and only person who was most important to the both of us was gonna suffer the most and there was nothing I could do about it. "It's not fair. I didn't want this for her. I didn't want my baby growing up fatherless” I cried

“Fatherless? Your acting as if I'm dying or something”

“Chris she's 2 years old right now. By the time she even understands what's going on and where you are so much time would have passed she's not gonna remember you”

“Okay I get it!” He snapped “This isn't an easy decision for me Jhene, but I gotta do this. If me having to sacrifice four years in order to be free for the rest of my life, well then I'll do it. I can't keep living my life like this”

“I asked you time and time again to leave that Cass shit alone Chris, I begged you to leave it and now look!”

“You knew what it was when you got involved with me Jhene” Chris said. I frowned.

“No I did not! Are you forgetting you didn’t tell me about your “job” until I was in too deep with you? You never gave me a choice!”

“Look I’m not here to argue with you about it Jhene, the situations done either way I’m going back to prison” he said defeatedly.

This was so messed up! Why did this have to happen, right now of all times? As much as I was mad at him and I no longer wanted to be with him at all, I was still gonna need him. I couldn't do this all on my own. What was I supposed to tell Asia as she got older? She was going to ask where he was rather I hid it from her or not. How was I supposed to explain to my daughter her father was away in prison without lying to her.

“So when are you going?” I cried.

“I gotta hand myself in tomorrow morning, I got until 10 am, that’s why I came here earlier. I wanted to see you before I left” he explained.

“What am I supposed to do without you Chris?” I asked lowly.

“Live your life” he said calmly which completely threw me off. I furrowed my brows as I looked at him, he continued. “I love you way too much to ever want you to put your whole life on hold because of me Jhene. I know you love me, but you can’t hold up your life waiting on me because of my mistakes, I can’t allow it. So I want you to live your life, accomplish all the things you want to accomplish, just focus on you and Asia, don’t worry about me baby"

In a matter of minutes, my whole world had been turned upside down.

***

Visiting time at the hospital lasted from 11am-9pm and Chris had been here with me practically all day, we were interrupted by the nurse around 8:30 informing us visiting hours finished in half an hour. The moment the nurse left an awkward tension engulfed the room between us knowing that once he left today, that was it. We wouldn't be able to see each other anymore. Chris sat on the edge of the bed preparing himself to go, I didn't want him to leave me. I didn't want to be stuck in this hospital room all alone anymore. I really just wanted to go home but right now he was the only sense of home I had. “Should I ask if I can stay over night?” He suddenly said to me, almost as if he’d read my mind.

“Yeah!” I replied quicker than expected. Chris looked at me with a small grin and suddenly I felt a little embarrassed at the eagerness in my tone and looked away shyly.

"I'll be back" he said and then shuffled out of the room. It had been about 10 minutes before Chris finally came sauntering back into the room, he was smiling goofily as he dangled two packets of chips and two canned Arizona's in the air. "Nurse said it's all good, so I went and got us some snacks to celebrate!” I laughed at his silliness “Whatcha want, Sour cream or BBQ?” he asked

“I want both” I smirked

“Both?” He frowned

“Hey I'm injured right now, I deserve it” I playfully snatched both packets from him.

“And I'm going back to hell tomorrow I deserve too!” He laughed jokingly and plopped back down on the bed beside me. Even through his smile I could see that he was broken inside knowing he had to go back to prison. We’d spoken about this plenty of times before, he’d told me that those days inside were some of the the worst days he’d been through. Chris wasn’t a bad person at all, he had the biggest heart and really he was just a goofy ass little kid, he just made really stupid, irresponsible decisions at times but he didn’t deserve to be locked up

“Are you scared?” I asked him as he kicked back his feet, the bed was still kinda small for the both of us so his left leg was dangling sloppily off the side.

“Of what?” He asked opening the packet of chips, he grabbed a handful and then threw them into his mouth and chomped down on them noisily.

“Going back to prison…” I said

“Oh, nah. I don’t wanna go but, it’s just something I’ve gotta do, d’you feel me?” he shrugged.

“Smile...” I suddenly said randomly.

“Huh?” He looked at me with a look of confusion on his face.

“I said smile, I wanna see your smile” Chris looked at me and smiled cutely, his dimples digging deep into his cheeks. I smiled back harder, feeling as the tears began to build up in my eyes. I bit down on my bottom lip to stop it from trembling.

“Don’t cry Nae” he said, his smile turned into a frown as he grabbed hold of my hand. “Please?”

I sniffled and quickly wiped my tears away with my freehand. “I’m sorry, it’s just…”

“I know baby” he said interrupting me “I know but just look at it this way, all this is gonna do is make us stronger in the future. You gotta be strong for me, cause imma be strong for you. Promise me, your gonna be strong for me?”

“Imma try”

“Nah you’ve got this, your strong, this is just a little trial we gotta go through, I promise”

I smiled, how he had the ability to remain positive at a time like this was astounding. “I hate you Chris” I suddenly said as I shook my head at the thought of myself , Chris raised his brow curiously as he waited for me to elaborate,

“Earlier I couldn’t stand your ass and I swore to God that was it, I was done with you for good and now I’m over here crying because your leaving me”

“Well that sounds like love to me baby” Chris smirked

“No it sounds like some punk shit” I laughed

“It’s all good, I’m a punk when it comes down to you as well” He chuckled, I smiled. Faintly.

“Kiss me” I said, I pulled his chin closer to me and pressed my lips against his. We kissed slowly and Chris reciprocated the kiss with just as much passion as I had. Pulling back, I softly bit on his bottom lip. He ran his lips over mine one last time before pecking my lips again before we both pulled away.

"Damn Imma miss that shit" he chuckled licking his lips, I smiled as I caressed his cheek. “Promise me you ain't gonna let no other nigga get that” he laughed, I rolled my eyes.

“Oh shut up Chris! Four years is a long time, I'll probably meet somebody new” I joked. Chris smiled as he shook his head.

“I mean I will be tripping if you do and when I get out, homie will have a lot of problems. but I guess I gotta accept it”

“Yep, because you lost a dime piece buddy, I'm just saying” I playfully joked as I wiped my eyes. Chris smiled sadly.

"Your right though, you’re the type of girl that's one in a million, the type people get in high school and they mess up and then they spend their whole life thinking about you forever and what it coulda been. And with me I know that I had that and I'm forever gone regret the fact that I fucked around and lost you”

“Maybe this is what we needed. Maybe we need to be apart for a longtime to grow up…properly heal from each other”

“Yeah Perhaps, as long as you know your always gonna be my heart Jhene, you’re the first girl I ever truly fell in love with. Whatever happens, if you decide to wait for me or even if you decide to move on, this is you” he said pointing to his chest. “You got this for life” he said, I smiled faintly.

Hearing him tell me how much he loved me was bittersweet. I'd always known that Chris loved me, despite what we went through I never had to question that, but I also realised that he was never gonna be ready to give me the kind of commitment I wanted, not right now anyway. He had a lot in himself to work on and me waiting around for him to finally be ready was doing nothing but hurting more than helping, we were on different pages of our lives, he was still trying to figure out who he was and me, well the moment I gave birth my priorities changed. I had to grow up a lot faster than he did. I loved Chris, with every inch of my being; there was no denying that, but I also loved him enough to know it was finally time to let go. I’d grown and I’d learned all that I could learn from being in a relationship with him and now it was time to move forward. Maybe in the future things would work out in our favour, but for now I was content with the memories that we shared together. Nothing was supposed to last forever, and as difficult as it was going to be to move forward without him, we both had to accept that this was just the end of our chapter, for now.

“I'm tired now” I mumbled in-between a yawn

“Go to sleep then baby girl”

“What you gonna do?” I asked him

“Imma fall asleep right here next to you” he said taking off his shoes, I watched as he pulled off his hoody “Pass me that” I said pointing to it before he could place it over the back of the chair, Chris handed me the hoody and then I sat up and slipped it on over the hospital gown I had on. “You just had to wear my shit huh” he smirked.

“Mmhm, your not getting this back either” I pulled the hood up.

“I already figured, you can keep it anyway I’m not gonna need it where I’m going” he shrugged

“Tomorrow morning, before you leave. Please don't wake me up”

“Why not?” Chris frowned, I shrugged.

“I just don't wanna have to say goodbye to you like that…”

Chris nodded his head in understanding “Well how about this. We say our goodbye now so at least before you fall asleep, you’ll know I'm right here with you”

I smiled

“I like that idea.”

***

The bed was small for the both of us, but somehow we managed to make it work. As He laid down beside me, he reached over and grabbed my left hand so that his arms were around me and linked our fingers together.

No more words was exchanged between us as we both slipped into our own little slumbers.

And that night was the first time since I’d woken up to this nightmare, I was able to fall asleep peacefully, without the aid of any medication.

#chris brown #teambreezy #chris brown fanfiction #chris brown fan fiction #fanfic #story

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maswartz · 5 years

Text

Fun facts about myself (aka how did I live this long)

These are as I remember them or how I’ve heard them. Mostly chronological order 1. I was born looking like an old man 2. My sister once had to tear my diaper off because it got full of bees. 3. Once when I was still a baby I fell down the stairs and the babysitter did nothing, she just put me back in my crib and let me cry. When my grandmother got home she was pissed. She fired the sitter on the spot and got me to the hospital. 4. When I had surgery (to deal with something about my belly button) I literally ripped the IVs out of my arms, the doctors said I could go home that night. 5. I got pneumonia in kindergarten 6. Another student bit my butt in kindergarten (on the playground) 7. Either in preschool or kindergarten my mom arrived to pick me up to find I had escaped and was running around the parking lot being chased by teachers. 8. I once dropped a drill on my toe and only started to scream when my dad and sister got in the room (this one may not be 100% true) 9. Once during a party at our house the gate was left open and I walked right out until a complete and total stranger found me (at the corner of our street) and brought me home. 10. I once walked out of the yard and went to a neighbors house (the same neighbor my sisters did the same thing with) 11. One time at a theme park my mom had to drop me. It was because when we were getting on an airplane ride (think the flying dumbo ride) the idiot started it before we got in and she had to drop me to avoid it hitting me. 12. Once I literally karate chopped a glass into tons of pieces (I actually remember this one) (It either split in half or shattered) 13. One time in elementary school during a summer program I got lost in the woods for an hour, I eventually found my way out and two joggers kept me company until my sister and one of the councilors found me. The best part of this one is when I go for a walk now I walk right past the street I came out of the woods at. 14. One time at Boy Scout camp I had a bad feeling about the weather but everyone else said it was fine. Sure enough it started thundering and lighting (and of course we were on top of a mountain at the time) Thus a bunch of preteen boy scouts ran for their lives and ended up hiding in the latrine until our scout master started to sing “always look on the sunny side of life”. As I was running I noticed my all metal mess kit and kept thinking it was going to get me struck. 15. Also at that same camp there were a bunch of sheep (i still have a piece of wool from one of them) and one of the scouts in my patrol wanted to get a picture of one of them he dubbed “harry ball” (after a baseball park near us as well as the obvious). Next thing we know he’s running from a sheep stampede. He got out of the way and the sheep ran out of the camp. Last we heard they were eating someone’s garden. 16. At that same camp we were taking our swimming test in a light drizzle (rain was clearing up). I got hypothermia in the middle of the summer in that lake. 17. Once in high school my sister was driving me to school (we went to the same high school) when I was complaining we were going to be late because she was getting coffee at starbucks. As we were pulling out a car hits her car. Glass everywhere! We were fine but literally the last thing I said before it was “we’re going to be late”. 18. Another time in high school my grandmother was driving me to school when I was messing around with her car and picked up the cigarette lighter (older car). I accidentally turned it on and put my thumb right on it. I took it off and shoved my thumb right into a water bottle. My mom was the sub nurse that day so I went right to the nurses office and my exact words were “Mom, I did something stupid.” She put some second skin band aid thingy on it and you can’t even notice it now. 19. It turns out I have Raynaud’s disease which basically means when I get cold it hits me harder and my fingers and toes turn blue faster. So yay… 20. My sister and I once fell by our pool getting the same scar on the same knee. 21. Despite everything on this list I have never broken a bone in my life *knock on wood* 22. I didn’t speak until I was five years old (I was taught sign language but I sadly can’t remember much of it). My first word was “Mommy” and it was on my mother’s birthday 23. My father is a firefighter and when I used to visit him at the fire house I would actually climb up the fire pole. 24. I can open doors with my foot (not by kicking but turning the door knob with my toes, I have big toes) 25. When I was younger I had a condition known as Pica. Basically I ate non-edible things. I would eat string, towels, paper, tissues, my clothes, chairs (some of the chairs in the house still have my bite marks in them), and plastic. It got to the point where I had to go to the doctors because I had a horrible pain in my stomach. We think it was a blockage caused by all the stuff I ate. But the best part is my dad came in (right from work) and he poked my stomach and he must have dislodged it because the pain went away. 26. I once blew up a light bulb by spitting on it when it was on. 27. On a class trip a friend of mine literally had to step on my foot to keep me from running off and befriending a squirrel. This was in high school. 28. One time we were removing a bush from the garden and we managed to get most of it up except the main root/body itself. After a lot of work I just sat down, put my feet against it, and PUSHED. Over and over and over until with one great big push it came out. So I pretty much bench pressed a tree. 29. Another time we were digging a hole in the backyard and it was about 4 feet deep when I had to get out of the hole to get something. So I crouched and jumped right out of the hole. Four feet straight up in the air. 30. I am an Eagle Scout and an Assistant Scout Master (haven’t renewed that though) 31. For years I’ve been having chronic nosebleeds (once I even got one because I was laughing too hard at an Achievement Hunter video). It has gotten to the point where I’ve had the inside of my nostrils cauterized (basically a “burning” stick of metal is shoved up my nose to burn the blood vessel causing the nosebleeds so the new tissue heals over it) 32. When I was younger I was so skinny you could see my ribs almost all the time, some people even said they could see my heart beating. 33. When I was in elementary school in the bathroom I saw a spider crawling up from the urinal (I believe this led to my fear/dislike of spiders) 34. One time I sat on my grandmother’s couch and my back landed on a bee/wasp which stung me, not fun. 35. One time after I got home from Boy Scout camp I was showering when I discovered a Ladybug was crawling on my butt. I didn’t kill it but I let it go. 36. I have Asperger Syndrome (as in officially diagnosed) 37. One time a few winters ago I left my glasses in the window as I was taking a shower and when I got out they had literally frozen over. 38. When I was little I once went through a training course for children on how to get out of a burning building, it was neat. 39. I dropped out of community college and have no job and no social life, when I remember these I can’t help but feel like a failure and waste of space. 40. When I was 10 my family went on a cruise in Alaska, it was amazing. But the fun fact is on the cruise one of the entertainers was a ventriloquist named Jeff Dunham. This was before he hit it big time. 41. Once at Boy Scout camp it was the final night before we all went home and they had these giant inflatable balls (bigger than the kids) and we were bouncing them around when it bounced off another kid right into me breaking my glasses right down the middle, fortunately my parents came up that night anyways so we went to get new ones. 42. My sister measured my morning walks with the dog a few days ago, turns out I walk him 2.2 miles (in total).

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saturninefilms · 5 years

Photo

What’s the one thing you would like to change about yourself today and why? Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?

For specific songlists, Spotify. For random songs to blot the silence, Pandora. Never Soundcloud. 2. is your room messy or clean?

It’s hard for my room to be messy when it’s literally just a bed and four walls. My room is neither. It’s just empty.

3. what color are your eyes?

Sometimes blue, sometimes green.

4. do you like your name? why?

I like it when both of my names are put together. “Cody Weber” sounds nice to me. I like the double syllable sounds when combined to make four. When I think of my first name on it’s own, though, and I suddenly don’t like it at all.

To me, “Cody” is the name of a child. He’s getting yelled at by his mom for straying too far away from the designated play areas and is pretending as if he’s not listening. For some reason, my name just doesn’t strike as one that belongs to a thirty year old man. It was applicable when I was five. At thirty, it makes me feel puerile. 5. what is your relationship status?

Jaded beyond repair. 6. describe your personality in 3 words or less

Up to you. 7. what color hair do you have?

Blonde 8. what kind of car do you drive? color?

A majestic, white 2006 Ford Taurus. She used to get me all around the country without a hiccup, but she’s become stubborn in her old age and now only starts when she feels particularly inclined. 9. where do you shop? Thrift stores and the internet. 10. how would you describe your style? Pay attention to me, but only for a second and then knock it off. 11. favorite social media Used to be Tumblr until they got rid of the porn. Now it’s probably Snapchat. 12. what size bed do you have? Queen without the queen. 13. any siblings? Cheyanne, Dakota, Jake. 14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? I romanticize Italy, but I have no idea if I’d actually love it as much as I think I would. Nothing more beautiful than an Italian woman. No food better than good Italian cuisine. And the scenery seems breathtaking. Would I actually like it, though? Who knows. As far as places that I’ve actually been to and enjoyed, I wouldn’t mind living in New Orleans again. Seattle was really nice. If I had unlimited funds, I’d probably just go to LA, though. That’s where all my favorite stuff happens. 15. favorite snapchat filter? It’s always the one that exists for a day and then is randomly removed. OH, BUT WE CAN HAVE THE STUPID DOG FILTER IN PERPETUITY, THOUGH. 16. how many times a week do you shower? 8-10. 17. favorite tv show? Right now, it’s KIDDING. Brilliant show.

18. shoe size? 12. 19. how tall are you? 6′2. Thanks Quackenbush genetics, by the way, because I’d be 5′4 or less otherwise. I find it eternally impressive that my dad (a relatively short dude) impressed my mom (a relatively tall woman) to dig him. No easy feat. 20. sandals or sneakers? Boots. 21. do you go to the gym? If it wasn’t $400 annually, I definitely would. But alas, that’s too rich for my blood. 22. describe your dream date. At this point in my life, I have 0 desire to even go on a date. 23. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

Enough to feed myself. Not enough to do anything fun. 24. what color socks are you wearing? Black. 25. how many pillows do you sleep with? One big one that the internet swore would help me sleep more soundly. Spent like $100 on the damn thing and have experienced no difference. 26. do you have a job? what do you do? I use my camera. I sling drinks. 27. how many friends do you have? More than I’ve ever had before, that’s for certain. 28. whats the worst thing you have ever done? It would be easier for me to compile a list of things I’m proud to have done. Most of my time is spent being ashamed of one thing or another. 29. whats your favorite candle scent? I like the ones that smell like faux-forest. I hate the ones that smell like cinnamon. 30. favorite actor? Jim Carrey, Daniel Day-Lewis, Tom Hanks 31. favorite actress? Kate Winslet 32. who is your celebrity crush? Emmy Rossum. She could get it. 33. favorite movie? Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind 34. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? Yes, words are my favorite things in the world. Favorite book is “Downtown Owl” by Chuck Klosterman and my favorite collection of poems is “What Matters Most Is How Well You Walk Through The Fire” by Charles Bukowski. 35. money or brains? I’ve dated rich girls. I’ve dated smart girls. Consensus: Rich girls suck. Smart girls know how to murder you without even trying. Can I try a pretty, poor girl that’s sweet and thoughtful? Haven’t had that yet. 36. do you have a nickname? what is it? Some people affectionately refer to me as, “that fuckin’ prick.” It’s really sweet. 37. how many times have you been to the hospital? Do people keep track of this kind of thing? A lot when I was a kid. Since insurance stopped being a thing, though, and only a handful. 38. top 10 favorite songs I can’t do this for all-time lists because I love way too many songs for way too many reasons. My top-ten AS OF THIS MOMENT list is as such, though. 1. LCD Soundsystem - I Can Change 2. Rex Orange County - Loving Is Easy 3. Two Feet - Had Some Drinks 4. Token - Flamingo Video Shoot 5. Joyner Lucas - I Love (ADHD) 6. Mac Miller - Objects In The Mirror 7. Bring Me The Horizon - Wonderful Life 8. The Taxpayers - I Love You Like An Alcoholic 9. Flora Cash - You’re Somebody Else 10. Benjamin Tod - Hungry For You Blues 39. do you take any medications daily? Albuterol for the asthma. Cortizone 10 for the eczema. 40. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) Painfully, utterly dry year round. 41. what is your biggest fear? At the risk of sounding melodramatic, I feel like I’ve already experienced most things I’m afraid of. Chances are, if I fear it, the reason is because I know it’s going to happen at some point. 42. whats your go to hair style? Arrogantly disheveled. 43. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) I still want to live in an RV and travel around at my leisure. That’s the dream. 44. who is your role model? I don’t idolize anyone. 45. what was the last compliment you received? “You’re talented and I hate you.” - some dude at the bar. 46. what was the last text you sent? “Tomorrow would be fine.” 47. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? I never got a chance to believe in Santa. My grandma told me the whole thing was a lie when I was real young. 48. what is your dream car? Tesla’s seem like they’re moving in the direction of the future. Probably one of them. 49. opinion on smoking? It’s fucking retarded and I can’t stop. 50. do you go to college? You know how stupid people will always tell you that they have “street smarts” because they weren’t formally educated and don’t want to feel excluded intellectually? Yeah, I got street smarts. 51. what is your dream job? DEAREST full time, on the road, playing venues and bars and festivals. 52. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? It doesn’t make much of a difference to me. When I live in the suburbs, I wish I lived rural. When rural, I wish that I was around more people. Can’t be pleased, this guy. 52. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? Nah, because I usually use them AT the hotel. When a hotel feels particularly special, though, I’ll keep the room key. I have a useless key from a Best Value Inn from April of 2017 that I’ll never get rid of, for instance, and another one from a bougie hotel in New Orleans. Not sure why I do it, other than the fact that I’m absolutely 100% an emotive pack-rat. 53. do you have freckles? I have one on the left side of my face due to falling asleep on a Florida beach in 2016. I thought it was cancer for a while. One time, I was seeing a girl and she said it was her favorite feature on my face. Mostly, I forget it’s there unless it’s pointed out. 54. do you smile for pictures? Not if I can help it. 55. how many pictures do you have on your phone? I don’t know, a couple thousand? 56. have you ever peed in the woods? I piss outside whenever I can. There’s something primitive and carnal about it. If I get the chance, I’ll be peeing outside. 57. do you still watch cartoons? F Is For Family is one of my favorite shows at the moment. 58. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? I’m not a big nugget guy. Gimme a Baconator. 59. Favorite dipping sauce? Sriracha. 60. what do you wear to bed? Nothing, usually. 61. have you ever won a spelling bee? I got really close a couple times in my formative years. 62. what are your hobbies? photos, writing, music, videos, destroying myself from the inside out like a dying star, listening to sad songs that will only make me more sad because I’m not a smart man. 63. can you draw? Only parallels. 64. do you play an instrument? Drums, guitar, bass, synth, and I’m trying to learn to sing better. I wish I could play the piano. 65. what was the last concert you saw? Every Time I Die in Iowa City. 66. tea or coffee? Tea is just fancy sink water. Coffee 100 times out of 100. 67. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? Cafe Paradiso. 68. do you want to get married? I do not see that in my future, nah. Too jaded. 69. what is your crush’s first and last initial? I don’t have one. Emmy Rossum could still get it, though. 70. are you going to change your last name when you get married? Even if I were to ever get married, I don’t think I’d ever change my name, no. I’m not new-age or enlightened enough for that. 71. what color looks best on you? White. 72. do you miss anyone right now? Sure. 73. do you sleep with your door open or closed? What kind of idiot sleeps with the door open? Gross. 74. do you believe in ghosts? Only the ones that live inside your head. 75. what is your biggest pet peeve? When someone spills something on a carpet and scrubs the substance out. Something about that just makes me squirm. 76. last person you called? My mom. She didn’t answer. 77. favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate. 78. regular oreos or golden oreos? Golden Oreos are an abomination from God and I don’t trust anybody that prefers them over the original. 79. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? Sprinkles are fucking useless. 80. what shirt are you wearing? A blue sweater. 81. what is your phone background? Whatever came on it when I bought it. 82. are you outgoing or shy? 1-4 Drinks - Shy 4+ Drinks - Outgoing as fuck. 83. do you like it when people play with your hair? If in the right context, sure. Laying in bed as I’m falling asleep? Totally appropriate. At 1:30 AM while I’m trying to have a conversation with somebody at the bar? Fuck off with that shit. 84. do you like your neighbors? One of them saved our dog when he chewed a layer of fence out and got his neck stuck. I like him. 85. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? Is face-washing not a normal thing or something? 86. have you ever been high? lol. 87. have you ever been drunk? LOL. 88. last thing you ate? Domino’s Pizza, last night. 89. favorite lyric right now? “I used to promise you I'd keep you out my lyrics You’re gonna hate me even more when you hear this.“ 90. summer or winter? Winter sucks. Summer’s nice. 91. day or night? The part of morning when day and night look exactly the same. 92. dark, milk, or white chocolate? Milk. I’m an American, baby. 93. favorite month? April. 94. what is your zodiac sign? Virgo, but it’s all nonsense that means nothing. 95. who was the last person you cried in front of? Someone that shouldn’t have sat witness to it. 96. what did your last relationship teach you? Love can be enough, too much, and not enough all at the same time depending on your vantage point.

97. what’s the one thing you would like to change about yourself today and why? I wish I was less cynical. It’s my least favorite human characteristic and something I struggle with as a defining characteristic for myself. 98. which fictional character do you believe is the most like yourself? Joel in Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind. 99. what are your beliefs on god? I don’t believe she exists and have a bone to pick with her if she does. 100. do you usually follow your heart or your head? heart always wins and it never should.

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fymoanstax · 6 years

Text

Deokspatch X: Haunted House

Request: Hello! Could you do Monsta X going into a haunted house (deokspatch x style?) With a staff member (Y/N) and Y/N tries to go in all tough but at the end shes hiding in the boys back and won't let go of them, and the boys are like "I want this cute smol squish to be mine" and tries to woo her. I hope this makes sense! ~Hiding

Here you go! We hope you like it!

~Admin Wonhoe and Admin Hyungwon

Shownu/Hyunwoo (Written By: Admin Wonhoe)

Zombies. Oh man why did it have to be zombies.

When the guys picked their haunted house/escape room thing randomly you had thanked every god watching over you that the other guys didn’t choose you.

There were some really scary themes. Chainsaw murderer. Abandoned prison. Dark Night in the woods.

But Shownu chose you and he pulled Zombie Maze.

And you are,,,,,,,,,,scared of zombies

Like terrified actually

You might have watched too many ‘documentaries’ about how the undead could reanimate one day

And you watched zombie movies with your friends despite being scared

But Shownu chose you to assist and you were going because mama didn’t raise a little bitch

Halfway through you change your mind IMMEDIATELY

Because mama DID NOT raise a little bitch

She raised a BIG BITCH

You were literally cowering in fear right behind Shownu

Because his current mission was to get the key

The key was in an open room

With a zombie(actor obviously) standing inside of it

And Shownu wanted,,,,to,,,,,,,go,,,,in,,there

As a staff member you knew that they wouldn't touch you, you were there when all the paperwork and stuff was signed

But as Y/N you were freaking out

Shownu noticed and pulled you off to the side

But the cameras were still rolling because any content is good content

“Are you alright?”

You nodded your head but the look on you face didn’t quite convince him

“You don’t have to go in with me. I can do it myself. “

“Yeah okay….I mean I totally would go in but this is your mission and all you know. I know where everything is I’m not scared or anything. Good luck.”

So Shownu does try to get into the room and you just chill against this gate thing

And you watch him struggle for a few minutes then he disappears into the room

You kinda chill and try to ignore all the other staff members that are standing behind cameras or just watching this go down

And out of literally nowhere

A HAND POPS OUT OF THE CHAIN FENCE THING

AND WHEN YOU TURN YOUR HEAD

ZOMBIE

You scream so loud and run away from the chain fence thing so fast

You run straight into Shownu’s chest. His very hard very defined chest. Wow he must work out a lot how did you not notice this befo---waIT

If these zombies were popping out. And Shownu had the key...that meant

Your eyes widen in realization and you kind of pat your hand against his chest urgently, “Shownu Shownu Shownu we have to go we have to run!!”

He’s kind of confused???? Why are you literally SHAking right now

“Shownu! Run! The rest of the mission is to escape the zombies. There’s a gate that’s locked by a padlock and you have the key!”

Suddenly out of nowhere at least a dozen zombies (actors obv) start running at you from the door you entered and you’re like frozen in fear

Shownu notices AND suddeNLY you’re in HIS ARMS.

He has physically picked you up bridal style

And is SPRINTING through the maze.

Zombies are jumping out left and right but they’re not affecting him at all

He like has no fear

And you’re just clinging onto him and wow his muscles are RLLY out here you know

Okay nevermind back to you being scared out of your wits because he has put you down near the gate

But your back is kinda towards the gate and shownu is kind of using his own body to shield yours while he frantically tries to put the key in the padlock

And he’s breathing kinda heavy bc he just ran while carrying you and wow he looks like a WHOLE man

But anyway he’s successful and he get the two of you out of that whole haunted house thing and you don’t know why but your legs kind of give out under you even if you didn’t run but you attribute it to fear so you just lay on the ground

And Shownu is next to you in .0001 seconds and the two of you laugh

Shownu turns his head to you with a smile and he just

“You know I was only scared one time during that whole thing?”

“I couldn’t even tell you were scared.”

“I got scared when you screamed because I thought you were hurt or something.”

Oh my gosh are you blushiNG??? The answer is yes.

Anyway literally this whole thing was filmed and you’re so embarrassed when you’re watching it later but everyone else thinks its so cute. The other members. The other staff. EVEN FANS.

Wow. Incredible.

Wonho/Hoseok (Written By: Admin Wonhoe)

Just two friends. Sitting in a cell in an abandoned prison. Waiting for the cue to start so you can escape!

Okay so you’re sitting with wonho on this creaky, uncomfortable prison bed

And suddenly there’s a loud alarm kinda like what would happen if there was an escaped convict or something you know

(We are Pristin!) Wee woo wee woo wee

Lockdown

Lol fun times right

W R O N G

Bc deokspatch x is apparently rlly rich and the budget is sky high so they had enough money to pay actual ppl to pretend to be PRISONERS

And and and maybe they ALL ESCAPED THEIR CELLS

THEY ALL LOOK SO CONVINCING

And why did they all have weapons

This vaguely reminded you of the time wonho was in sistar’s music video and he had a pink police outfit with a police baton wowowow

Wait no don’t think about that now.

You need to assist wonho in escaping

But wonho is literally having no trouble

Like he’s weaving in and out of people and you’re struggling to catch up up bc

“Wonho, I have shorter legs than you slow down before I get-”

And suddenly you’re GONE

Like you can’t see anything and you were pulled away

You tried resisting but this person was v strong

And you coulDNT SCREAM

WHAT IS THIS THIS IS A FAMILY FRIENDLY SERIES WHY WERE YOU BEING ADULTNAPPED

When you’re finally let free and you can see again you’re in this like room place that looks like a DUNGEON (but its not) and its rlly small you can tell

You don’t even see who adultnapped you

Maybe you’re freaking out a little

A lot actually

Its also dark

And you begin feeling around the small room and you finally grab something familiar

Its a walkie talkie

You use these things all the time with other staff members

So you turn it on and talk into it

“...Hello?”

And small tv in the wall turns on and there’s static and then it clears up and the thing on screen makes you ?!?!?!?!?1?!?1/1/1

“Lets play a game.”

OH HECK NO

YOU DID NOT SIGN UP TO PLAY WITH JIGSAW

“HEllo whoever is on the other end of this WALKIE TALKIE BETTER RESPOND BEFORE I QUITE LITERALLY DIE”

“Y/N. IS THAT YOU?”

“WONHO! It’s me”

“What happened to you? Where did you go?”

“You were walking too fast for me to keep up. I was adultnapped and now jigsaw is out to MURDER ME.”

“Does this have anything to do with my mission?”

“Above you there is a bucket full of an unknown substance.”

You look up and sure enough THERE IS A BUCKET HOLY SHIT

“Your partner must make it through the prison in the dark, retrieve the key card from a prisoner in solitary confinement, and find the room you’re in in under 30 minutes or else the contents of the bucket will be dumped over you. Good luck.”

WHAT THE FUkc

“Wonho did you hear the same message as I did?”

Before Wonho responds there’s a rlly loud bang and every single light goes out and you didn’t think it could get any darker but IT IS PITCH BLACK NOW

You’re,,,,,,,,,,,,extremely scared of the dark.

But you’re not going to let wonho know that

Wait why were you even in this situation

YOU WERE JUST A STAFF MEMBER

When they told you you were going to have a very important role today you didn’t think they meant this

“Wonho no pressure or anything but 30 minutes isn’t a lot of time and I don’t want to be drenched in whatever is in that bucket. Could be ketchup. Syrup. Water. Paint. Please you know do this fast.”

Ummm a couple of many minutes pass and you’re sitting in the dark curled up in a little ball with your eyes shut.

Why hasn’t wonho responded?????

OH YEAH MAYBE BECAUSE HE’S GOING THROUGH A SEA OF PRISONERS IN THE DARK

You feel like this mission was destined for failure from the start

Every once in a while you hear Wonho breathing into the walkie talkie probably trying to get in some words before something crazy happens.

Deokspatch x is wiLD

The next time the walkie talkie makes a noise wonho gets the chance to talk but he’s breathing heavily

“I just,,,,ran up,,,,,,,,,4 flights of stairs for,,,,,,,,,,,,,you”

“I’m supposed to be helping you but they’re using me like A PROP. GET ME OUT OF HERE.”

“I’m working on it. Are you okay?”

“Besides the fact that it’s incredibly dark and I’m not fond of the dark I’m fine.”

“I’ll get you out. I promise.”

“You’re making this sound like some kind of drama just come get me before I have a break down.”

You were going to look at your watch to see how much time he had left but oh yeah YOU CANT SEE

You get up and go to the door because you’re sure someone is out there

“HOW MUCH TIME DOES HE HAVE LEFT YOU TRAITORS.”

“2 minutes.” Oh wow so casual about it not even- waiT

2 MINUTES?!?!?!?1

You kind of begin to count down in your head from the point where they tell you he has 2 minutes left

It’s a little nerve wracking

1 minute 30 seconds

…

1 minute

…

30 seconds

…

20 seconds

…

And that’s when you hear someone shuffling about outside

“Wonho is that you?”

“Um,,,,,yes but there are also many many doors and it’s still dark so keep talking to me so I can find you.”

“There are literally only 20 seconds left Wonho. Just swipe the card through every one!”

“I can’t even see the thing!”

“WONHO GET ME OUT OF HERE.”

You were restless at this point. It had been a whole 30 minutes almost that you were locked in this room in the dark and you weren’t having any of it.

But you heard some whirring and you realize the the bucket was beginning to tip over and it wasn’t a small bucket it was kinda big so it would hit you no matter where you stood.

So you start banging on the door so wonho can find the right one

And you hear the card swipe through the keypad

And it dings

And it turns green

And you celebrate because he got the door open

Except wonho notices the bucket is still tilting

But you don’t

“Y/N!”

He quite literally pushes you down under him and kinda covers you with his own body

And then there’s a splash and you do get wet but it’s not like you’re soaked or anything

But you feeldripping and that’s when you realize that Wonho has saved you from what smells and looks like milk because its white and really freaking cold

You turn your head to the rest of the staff

“YOU GUYS ARE JERKS FOR USING ME LIKE THIS”

You notice Wonho shivering so you ask him to take his wet jacket off but boy was that a mistake

It was like you were at a wet tshirt contest and he was the only contestant

Ding ding we have a winner

Anyway even though you know it won’t fit him you hand over your own jacket and he thanks you

But he still cold

So you hug him

And you’re obv much warmer than he is so he kinda embraces you back but tighter

And it’s rlly cute

And everyone awwww’s

But you’re just glaring at them

“Are you okay? I know you’re afraid of the dark so I tried to get to you as fast as possible. Sorry I took so long though.”

You MELT

HES SUCH A SWEETEHEART

“I’ll live. Thanks, Wonho”

Can you believe wonho just wants to protecc and love you forever

God what a sweetie pie muffin baby love cake precious man.

Minhyuk (Written By: Admin Hyungwon)

Minhyuk was kind of scared of doing this little haunted house thing by himself, but he calmed down a little when realizing that you would be there.

Like he was so relieved that he did not have to be alone during this.

Like yeah he had to work through the room himself, but at least he wouldn’t be scared out of his mind.

You on the other hand were terrified.

You had no idea really when actors would jump out and stuff like that. You just knew the answers to all the problems.

Plus there was spiders.

They were fake but it still freaked you out.

But were you about to show your fear in front of Monsta X’s very own Minhyuk?

No, you sure as hell weren’t.

So you tried to keep your cool, leaning against anything that could be leaned against.

Staying away from Minhyuk bc you were actually gripping your own arm really tightly and it was obvious.

You guys were at a particularly spidery place and it was freaking you out, but like he had a clue in here and you just had to power through.

He was powering through and like it kinda impressed you because how can someone be so calm during this.

Well, he was cracking jokes the entire time so that might’ve helped.

In this part though, he couldn’t find the clue.

Like of all the places that he had trouble finding a clue it had to be in the one that you’re pretty sure you had nightmares about when you were a kid.

But you were there to help him so you couldn’t really like just leave when he now needed help.

“Hey Y/N I can’t find this one thing do you think you can help—”

Before he could finish his question a (fake) spider fell from the ceiling and in front of you and you let out a huge squeak and crouched down to try and avoid it.

But like, you just...crouched...so it was just hovering above you….

Luckily for Minhyuk that’s where the clue was lol

You knew it was on a spider but like...not that it had to fall from the ceiling.

You were pretty shook and Minhyuk really saw that.

When you opened your eyes you saw Minhyuk crouching in front of you, looking worried.

“Are you...afraid of spiders?”

You just stared at him bc like no shit sherlock, but you still gotta put up your front, so you just stand up and dust off your shirt.

“I’m fine I just got sc—”

You heard the sound effects of spiders and yelped, grabbing onto Minhyuk’s arm on instinct.

He looked at you, clutching onto his arm and (he lowkey found it adorable) just kind of gave you a look.

“Yes I’m afraid of spiders!”

He laughed, but you didn’t let go of his arm.

“It’s fine I’ll protect you.”

You glared at him but let it go

“Okay let’s go. You got the clue now let’s just do the thing and leave.”

He laughed at your urgency and just kept walking.

At this point you didn’t even hide that you were scared.

You just followed Minhyuk around, clutching at the back of his shirt so that he wouldn’t leave you behind.

He’d slow down and let you catch up.

Tbh he was really acting all tough bc he had promised to protect you and god damn it he was gonna do that bc you are a smol bean.

At some point, after you had accidentally tugged his shirt too hard and he almost fell backwards, he used that as an excuse to do some hand holding.

So yes, this is Minhyuk, holding your hand, because you are scared of spiders. Can you believe it?

He holds your hand throughout the entirety of his mission and by the end of it you’re kinda embarrassed?

You go to take your hand back but then he just smiles at you and squeezes your hand.

“Hey, if you ever need anyone to hold your hand for whatever reason, I’m your guy.”

You scream. (internally)

Kihyun (Written By: Admin Hyungwon)

Honestly, you didn’t want to be chosen for this because you sure as hell knew that you would be crying.

You didn’t hide fear very well.

But of course that meant you had to go.

You just hoped it'd be for something simple like the woods.

Nope.

Killer clowns.

Kihyun had picked killer clowns.

And then had picked you to help him.

You almost died right there.

When it came to it though, you told yourself that you'd act all tough and prove to yourself you wouldn't get scared.

3 seconds in, you heard a clown laugh and you clutched onto Kihyun so quick that you scared him more than the actual clowns.

“Uhh…..Y/N are you okay?”

“I'm fine! Just keep going!”

You were not fine.

You kept trying to let go of his arm but you also kept immediately latching onto him again.

Kihyun noticed that and from his point of view you looked like a scared kitten

It was comforting bc he was also scared.

But he was trying his hardest to hide it.

“How are you not scared? There are clowns everywhere.”

Kihyun was very confused?

Were you that scared that you didn’t notice him nearly about to just start running?

“Are you kidding me, I’m terrified. I haven’t even gotten the mission yet!”

Your heart dropped when you remembered where the mission card was supposed to be given to him by one of the clowns.

He noticed your expression and got very worried.

“It’s uh…..with a clown…..”

He looked at you like that was the worst possible thing but like

If you were afraid of the clowns

And he was afraid of the clowns

Who was going to talk to the clowns????

In the 30 seconds you two just stood there staring at each other, he realized that wow.

He really didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of you.

So if he had to talk to a clown with a chainsaw, pretend to not be terrified (despite already admitting he was), and then do the mission, then so be it.

“Okay. Let's get my mission from a clown.”

You went to cheer for him but instead a clown jumped out right behind you.

So naturally you screamed and found yourself hugging Kihyun tightly.

He honestly did not know what to do with himself.

A cute girl is hugging him and all he can do is like not freak out bc

1) A CUTE GIRL IS HUGGING HIM And

2) the clown jumping out scared him too

He decided to hug you back bc you were actually shaking.

“Oh hey there's the mission.”

He took the paper from the clown, while still hugging you with his other arm.

It was cold outside but like...he was v warm????

Also, he just stayed hugging you so it made you warm and you guess part of your shaking was because you were cold bc that slightly got better.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“You know what my mission is right?”

“.....yeah.”

“How exactly do I bring back a clown mask that isn’t being used?”

“Very carefully?”

He sighed and started walking again, but his grip on you tightened.

Granted, you didn’t exactly let go of him either, but you expected that he’d like...stop hugging you.

“I can let go if it’ll speed things up”

“Nah. You seem less scared like this.”

But also he was less scared like that?

(Also again, he got to hug a cute girl lol)

You guys walked like that until he did eventually find the mask.

“Here, hold this.”

He picked up the mask and went to place it on your face but before he could a clown jumped out from behind a tree and screamed at you two.

You both gunned it.

Kihyun had let go of you and you had let go of Kihyun but hey, he got the mask.

You saw him look around as he ran and realized he slowed down a little which confused you a little

Until he actually grabbed your hand and ran faster, making sure you weren’t slipping away.

Like boy really slowed down to save you to make sure you weren’t killed by a killer clown.

Okay you were both overreacting bc the clown stopped following you guys like right as you started running.

But when you got back to the starting point you were both out of breath, and like the crew and the rest of the boys were just staring at you two.

Suddenly, you felt something be placed on your head?

It was Kihyun’s hand.

“Are you okay?”

You nod, and then a heavier thing is placed on your head.

“There. I was right. You are still pretty cute with a clown mask on.”

At least that mask hid how red your face was

And your embarrassment of being terrified of clowns of all things and then immediately clinging onto Kihyun.

Whatever, he called you cute.

Jooheon (Written By: Admin Hyungwon)

When Jooheon chose you to accompany him, you were kind of relieved because like he seemed so sure that he was going to not be scared.

Like even when he pulled the ‘ghosts’ card, he didn’t seem phased.

In fact, he was p cocky about the whole ordeal.

But it reassured you at least that this would be an easy thing.

“Hey Y/N, you scared?”

He grinned at you, walking with you to the steps of the house.

“Nah.”

Ghosts didn’t really scare you?

So you thought maybe you’d be fine.

But really, you were actually scared of ghosts.

You just downplayed it in your memories, but watching ghost movies made you not sleep for days.

So there you two were, about to head into a house that was filled with ghosts meant to terrify you.

You knew where the mission card was, of course.

But you could only help when he was really stuck.

You didn’t expect the scaring to happen so early though.

Like you two just walked into the house and when you passed the second room, an actress walked out from the end of the hallway, towards you.

It was then you remembered that you were actually terrified of ghosts.

But apparently Mr. I-Won’t-Be-Scared over there was also terrified.

Because boy took off running the other direction.

Screaming.

Louder than you were screaming.

You ran to follow him though bc you were not bouta be left alone there.

But as you were running there came another ghost????

Like heading right towards you????

You were literally about to run into him when you felt yourself get pulled away.

You turned to look and there stood Jooheon himself, looking slightly red.

“You said you wouldn’t be scared!”

You immediately tell him.

“So did you!”

“They’re terrifying! I didn’t think they’d be!”

“That makes two of us!”

You guys just go back and forth about how you rlly didn’t think it’d be this scary until the director physically has to call you and tell you two to keep going.

“Okay at least we don’t have to pretend that we’re not scared.”

You reassure him, but really it was an excuse for you to like, not suffer silently.

“Here, hold my hand.”

Jooheon offered his hand and you looked at him weird.

“Why?”

“So if we have to run again we won’t get separated!”

“Okay yeah good idea.”

This obviously wasn’t a ploy for him to hold your hand ;)

Actually, it really wasn’t.

Boy was just trying to get you and him out there alive.

Finally, you both made it to the room where his mission card was.

But when you walked in, a ghost popped out from inside the closet and you swear you were about to just like die.

But get this.

Jooheon pushed you behind him.

Like the ghost popped out, and his immediate instinct was to make sure you were behind him.

The ghost wasn’t like...moving...it was just watching you two.

So Jooheon kept eye contact with the ghost, moving slowly, but still making sure you were right behind him.

He actually ushered you to grab onto his arm.

So you did.

It was v muscular and if you didn’t just almost die 2 seconds ago you would have admired it more.

Anyway, he walked slowly, making sure the ghost didn’t like suddenly scream, took the mission card, and then slowly walked out the room.

You felt him relax as soon as you two were out.

“Okay. Now we can get this over w— I have to hug the ghost inside that room.”

“I...forgot that was the mission.”

“Y/N. If I die from fright, just know that—”

“Oh my God, Jooheon, please just hug the ghost so we can L E A V E.”

He just laughed and made his way back into the room, with you following behind him.

Jooheon was rlly just delaying it bc like what if the ghost screamed.

He’d scream too.

And then he knew that you’d scream too and he rlly felt bad that he left you behind that one time, making you more scared than necessary.

Eventually, he gave the actor a hug.

And he didn’t scream, so that was good.

But immediately after, Jooheon grabbed your hand and just made his way out.

Ghosts kept trying to pop out but Jooheon was not having it.

He just held your hand tighter and like just didn't look at the people bc he would have screamed and he was not bout to do that while holding your hand.

He looked back at you, grinning, and it made you laugh for some reason.

When you two made it outside, both of you were laughing.

“Hey, Y/N.”

Before you could answer he just….pulled you into a huge bear hug.

“Jooheon???”

Your voice was muffled bc your face was in his shirt.

“I felt like you needed that hug more than the ghost.”

“Well in that case so do you!”

So you two just stand there.

Hugging each other.

He was a good hugger.

Hyungwon (Written By: Admin Hyungwon)

You really thought Hyungwon would be the one that’s super scared.

Like, you expected him to be running and screaming and everything.

Especially when he pulled out the chainsaw/axe murderer card.

And you knew the mission to that was to physically find the chainsaw and the axe and bring it back.

Sounds easy enough.

Except there’s actors that are chasing you.

And you hate those kinds of movies bc you know you’d die.

But, you just have to be brave now and not pee your pants.

Especially since Hyungwon is,,,,,,not scared,,,,,at all,,,,,

He’s making conversation with you, and you’re scared it’ll tip off the murderers where you’re at.

Okay, you know it’s fake but like it definitely feels like a life or death situation.

He's just, talking, trying to find the mission card.

Suddenly, you hear the rev of a chainsaw and that's when his composure shatters.

“What was that?”

“A chainsaw"

“Like….a real one?????”

“It's okay I'm p sure it's one of those safe chainsaws.”

You mean….they wouldn't use…..real chainsaws right?

When that passed, Hyungwon was,,,,,not scared again.

But you were on your toes, ready to sprint when needed.

“Hey are you okay?”

Hyungwon asks when he sees that you are very much cowering.

You say nothing bc you don't even know if you have the ability to speak.

“Is there anything I can do?”

Before he actually finished that sentence the chainsaw rev started up again, but this time it was right next to you two and there was a guy w a chainsaw.

In a glimpse, you saw hyungwon put his fists up, looking ready to fight. But you didn't stick around long enough to see if he did.

You fucking ran.

Like there was nothing that could stop you.

Except maybe like, Hyungwon grabbing your arm to slow you down.

“Hey hey he just had the mission. I got it.”

You catch your breath and look at him, seeing he had a piece of paper in his hands.

“Also how about this. You can just hold onto me. So it'll relieve your fear. And if anything scares you I'll just fight them.”

You laughed bc like he was p scrawny and the chainsaw man was maybe twice his weight.

You did take up on his offer though, and you grabbed onto his sleeve.

You honestly looked like a little kid.

Holding onto an adults sleeve so you wouldn't get lost.

But listen. You didn't know this but hyungwon was just really trying so hard to not freak out

Like you're freaking out enough for the both of you.

He just wants to make sure you're okay.

You looked worried from the second he picked you to assist him.

So he tried to tell jokes, make conversation, and try not to fight the chainsaw guy.

But you were still very scared.

He was relieved when you took his sleeve bc you looked less scared then.

Getting to the axe and chainsaw was more you being jumpy every time you heard a sound,rather than anything else.

But you guys did make it to the stuff.

“Okay I'll just grab these then we'll just leave.”

You nod and let go of his sleeve as he went to get the things.

But it seemed like that's what the actors were planning.

The moment you were alone, the two actors surrounded you, revving the chainsaw and swinging that axe.

You like plopped down on the floor.

That was your defense mechanism.

That's how you knew you'd die in a real situation like this.

But also since you were on the ground the view was scarier bc all you saw was chainsaw.

So you closed your eyes.

And then you heard screaming…..

The screaming got closer, and then you felt yourself get lifted up, and you were moving.

The screaming continued though.

You opened your eyes to see that hyungwon had lifted you up and started running away, while screaming in terror.

And he just kept running.

Eventually he stopped screaming though.

When he got back to the entrance, he put you down on your feet.

“Did you just bridal carry me out of a forest while screaming bloody murder?”

“Yeah I think I did. You're not scared now at least.”

“No, I'm not.”

Did he really do all that so you wouldn't be scared????

Yeah he did. Wow.

“Hey Hyungwon.”

Changkyun was laughing, very much enjoying what had just happened.

“You didn't do your mission.”

He looked at changkyun, and then at a nearby camera.

“Fuck.”

I.M/Changkyun (Written By: Admin Wonhoe)

Okay so you were currently standing in the middle of some woods

You knew it was a fenced off area, it was actually a dome, because you came in through a gate and you saw the edge of the dome with your own two eyes

But it must be a huge area

Because you were driven to the center in a golf cart

You were also,,,,,,,,,handcuffed to changkyun???

And it was night but you only had a measly head lamp

Changkyun was given a card and when he read it he seemed confident

“It says that we’re being hunted and that we have to find a bow and 6 arrows before we can escape”

“What’s hunting you?”

“Us. What’s hunting us.”

“I’m not part of this!”

“You’re handcuffed to me.”

“...Valid point.”

“Anyway all it says that we’re being hunted by a flesh hungry animal.”

Out of nowhere you hear a growl and Changkyun screams so loud but his voice is rlly deep so it sounds like another growl to you and you try to run but you’re HANDCUFFED TO CHANGKYUN

So instead you cling to him.

“Okay okay, I have an idea. We can find the edge of the dome and then we can climb up the dome and just dangle there for 24 hours and they’ll get the hint eventually..”

You facepalm with your free hand

“We are NOT climbing or hanging from anywhere. We have to find the bow and arrows.”

“But the flesh hungry animal is gonna get us!!!!”

“But nothing Changkyun, we are going to finish this mission and get out of here”

By now you’ve noticed that you’re clinging onto him so you let go and put some distance between the two of you

“This is MY mission.”

“Yeah well like you said we’re (all) in this together.”

Reluctantly Changkyun follows as you begin walking around from tree to tree and bush to bush to find the things you needed to collect

“WAIT. There’s a key for the handcuffs and I know where it is!”

“Where is it?”

“It….should be,,,,,,,,,,,,hanging from a tree.”

“THERE ARE SO MANY TREES Y/N.”

“We could go with the alternative option”

“What is that.”

“I can chop your hand off.”

“Y/N!”

The two of you are startled by a growling noise once again which you catch on is a sign to get the show on the road.

“I could let you in on a little secret.”

“What is that?”

“These aren’t real.” You hear the staff groan as you pull your hand out of the handcuff and begin running away.

Changkyun is quick though so he doesn’t lose sight of you

But what you didn’t expect to happen while you were running

Was for your headlamp to shut off.

WHILE YOU WERE RUNNING

You stop immediately and Changkyun crashes right into you causing his headlamp to fall off and break

It is now completely dark

“Good going changkyun! WAIT SOMETHING JUST TOUCHED ME”

Changkyun is now wildly punching and kicking around himself

“I hit something!”

You

He hit you

“THAT WAS ME.”

Another roar has the two of you magically running into each other's arms despite not being able to see each other.

“THAT WAS NOT ME.”

“Let’s go!”

Changkyun grabs your hand and begins running in any random direction. Was this mission even possible this area was so big

You’re literally walking around for at least twenty minutes with no luck.

There are a few scares

One time Changkyun ends up jumping in your arms and the two of you fall to the ground because you weren’t expecting it

Another time the two of you are trying so desperately to escape whatever it is chasing you that you literally sabotage and sacrifice each other

Changkyun trips you

You tell him to look somewhere while you run away

He manages to climb a tree but is too scared to jump down so you tell him you’ll catch him but he just ends up falling on top of you

“SOMETHING JUST BIT ME”

“Sorry that was me...Shownu lets me do it when I’m nervous.”

You guys were a mess

But anyway you were also having no luck

Like 40 minutes into filming the staff all laughs at something and you and changkyun are confused while trying to get twigs and leaves out of his hair after he fell while trying to lean against a tree

“What’s going on?”

“We forgot to set up the most important part of the mission. Someone found the bow and arrows back in one of the prop cars…”

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME.”

You and Changkyun are like so done with this whole thing

They let you out and you’re both pouty and mad about it

Like a week later you’re watching the edited versions of all of the haunted houses and stuff like that and Changkyun’s comes up and its basically just a whole 10 minutes of you and him getting into a whole lot of shenanigans (+screaming)

You know those little sound effects and filters and effects they do on stuff like that well there are plenty of those

And you and Changkyun laugh at each other while watching it and you’re sitting rlly close to one another

And at scary parts you kinda grab his hand or scoot closer and its super cute

And Changkyun just lets you because he needs to protect you and make sure you’re safe

And yeah

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