#it's almost 1 am

[aestherin]

once i finish these papers i'm throwing a party

#rambles #about acads #it's almost 1 am #im not yet sleeping #instead im rotting at my desk #i despise word counts #grr

[yanderepuck]

Uhhh somno threesome with WHOMST????

#it's almost 1 am #let me sleep brain

[wastelandbaby7]

Lowkey thinking about getting am eyebrow slit.

Thanks D&P.

#it's almost 1 am #i have work in the morning #buut had to watch the slittening #and now i have bad ideas #dan and phil #daniel howell

[jacky-rubou]

some late-night thoughts about my suicide ford au down here if anyone's down to listen. warning for the obvious mention of suicide.

sometimes I think about how genuinely upset I made Mabel at the news while Dipper's reaction was more low-key and I decide that there was a reason underneath the obvious ones. of course Mabel's upset, she just learned one of her grunkles committed suicide (or at least was planning to). then my mind wanders and here you go.

Mabel was exponentially more outwardly upset at the news because she barely even had a chance to interact with Ford before they left. Leaving Gravity Falls, she had the expectation that she'd be able to bond more with him in the next summer. and now she barely even knew him before he decided to leave them all behind forever. it was a very bitter feeling to have all the chances to bond with him before he died but just... not, and all because she didn't care for nerd stuff.

also, Mabel seriously struggled with guilt after Weirdmageddon on its own. But Ford's suicide made that every bit of worse since she felt that her giving up the Rift to Bill ended up domino affecting everything until it ended at the absolute tragedy that was Ford's suicide. A part of her felt irrationally responsible for Ford's choice to end his life, as if her being upset at Dipper staying and feeling hurt or left out was the only reason Ford's guilt pushed him over the edge and that she should've hidden it better to spare his feelings. That handing over the Rift directly killed her Grunkle. It would take therapy and a visit from a Ford in her dreams to get her out of this mindset.

Ford shot himself in the head for a heartbreaking reason. He devalued his intelligence and mind, believing his intellect was what lost him his family and friends and that he wasn't actually that smart anyway. So he destroyed his mind so permanently and completely with his energy gun to symbolically mirror Stan's sacrifice but guaranteed permanent this time.

watching atots and seeing them as kids would make a world where Ford kills himself in the end feel so much more tragic and bittersweet.

in the same vein as the previous point, time travel shenanigans happening with young kid Stan and Ford travelling forward to see them as sixty something year olds but only seeing Stan around. Eventually kid Stan and Ford would ask about Ford's disappearance and old Stan didn't want to tell them he killed himself since they didn't deserve to be in despair over their future. it slips out anyway.

anyway, that's probably enough and I'm too tired to think of any more things. bye or until I see how undecorated this place was with utter confusion <- sentence written under the influence of sleep deprivation so I'm keeping it for posterity since even now it seems like nonsense. (help me I'm barely awake and rambling about it)

#tw suicide #uh sorry for sleep deprived ramble #it's almost 1 am

[oh-three]

The need to go to bed vs the desire to read another fifty pages in a book.

#reader problems #personal #going to bed this time obviously #it's almost 1 am

[amiracleilluminated]

it was cool for a couple of hours but now i just sound like marge simpson and im still freezing without heating

#the guys are still there‚ repairing #it's almost 1 am

[bobfloydsbabe]

I should be sleeping, but instead I'm creating the masterlist for Eccentric Professor Bob and setting up the taglist form. No regrets.

#helena rants #it's almost 1 am #but alas #this could not wait

[subtlefires]

actually. im really and truly going back to all the things i loved when i was 12-15 years old. it's so good? i feel like something has come full circle

#ok. actually good night now #it's almost 1 am #deau.txt

[coconurt]

OKAY WRITER ASKS!!

*Plops down here*

2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 13, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19 (Ehehe), 21, 22, 23, 27, 29

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK, BESTIE!!!!!

2. Do you read/reread your own fics? Yeah, sometimes!

4. How many WIPs do you have right now? 4 active ones!

5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write? Uhhh not sure. Probably something spicy lol

6. Are there any fics from others you reread all the time? Weelll, not really, but the last fic I reread was we'll make it, i swear by taizi on ao3

7. How many ideas for fics do you have right now? Two! The one I'm working on currently, and the other raphsandra one I told you about :3

9. Do you write every day? If you wrote today, share a sentence of what you’ve written! No, not every day! Just when inspo strikes lol. *looks at the 1.1k I just wrote tonight*

~Leo's heart performed an uncomfortable twist in his chest. He instinctively reached behind his back for his swords. They weren't there. His- his katanas, they were gone-

"Easy, my child. You are safe," came a soft female voice from behind him.~

13. How much planning do you do before writing? None whatsoever. I have an idea, it kicks me in the gut, I write it down before I forget about it. Ya know how it goes~

15. How do you come up with titles for your fics/chapters? I usually use song lyrics. cuz. ✨ aesthetics ✨

16. At what point in the process do you come up with titles? When I hear a good song lyric that fits the fic lol

17. What’s something you’ve learned about while doing research for a fic? That plaster and fiberglass are not necessarily the best way to patch a turtle shell >:3

18. What’s one of your favorite lines you’ve written in a fic?

~That was really it. His friend, his teacher, his everything was gone forever. Doomed to die separated from his family, trapped alone with a monster, just so the rest of them could live.~

The fic

19. Give us a small teaser from one of your WIPs. Ehehe you get TWO teasers bestie :)

~"Are-" His voice cracked, and he started over. "Are they okay? Raph and Mikey and… and Donnie, are they-?"

Karai dipped her head, once.

"Would you like to see them?"~

21. Have you ever deleted an entire scene after spending hours laboring over it? If so, why? Yeah probably. I'm too tired to remember a specific one tho :P

22. Do you know how your fic will end before you start writing? Yes. When I first have an idea, the beginning, middle, and end kind of flash through my mind in the course of a few seconds lol

23. How do you choose where to end a chapter (if you have multi-chapter works)? I've never written anything with more than one chapter! Kinda want to tho...

27. Is there a fic you were nervous to post/share? Why? Probably the very first one I posted to tumblr here! Why? Cuz I was a nervous newb lol. I didn't have any reason to be tho, I got a few nice comments and it meant the WORLD to me

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

~Donnie and Mikey were already with him, trying their damn best to stop the blood seeping from the gaping wound on Raph's plastron. Leo skidded to a stop, dropping roughly to his knees as his blood sang harshly in his veins.~

#WHEEE THIS WAS FUN #welp #it's almost 1 am #should probably to to bed now #asks #my writing #owlfacenightkit #my bestie owl <3

[unrequitedloveletter]

the only things motivating me to be productive at all right now are the fact that I might be able to get an energy drink, slushie, coffee or milkshake tomorrow (haven’t decided) my excitement for the holiday event, and the fact that I have friday off. 

I was expecting this week to breeze past me,, it hasn’t, BUT, I might also make myself tea because tea is good and drinking it is like injecting dopamine into my bloodstream. 

#cal talks #none of these things are related at all #i'm tired #it's almost 1 am #I'm gonna stop posting before my rambles start making even less sense than they do now

[eddiemunsonwh0re]

tonight i give you a drawing of steve with his nail bats

#how the fuck did my hand manage to draw this #it's almost 1 am #i will never achieve greatness like this ever again #steve harrington #stranger things

[starfoam]

//please send help I'm at risk of making a Character Decision

#no not a decision for Lo or Naomi. #an 'I'm having new blog ideas' decision. #IT'S ALMOST 1 AM

[psychangels]

feeling very Hmm.

#can't tell if it's the bpd or just tired or something else #i do need to go to bed though #it's almost 1 am #angeltalks.txt

[andsewingishalfthebattle]

Novice sewing pattern: Cut out shapes. Line up the little triangles on the edges. Stitch edges together. We've also included step-by-step assembly instructions with illustrations.

Novice knitting pattern: yOU MUSt uNDerstANd thE SECret cOdE CO67 (73, 87, 93) BO44 (63, 76, 90) 28 (32, 34) slip first pw repeat 7x K to end *kl (pl) 42 * until 13" (13, 13, 15) join new at 30 pl for 17 rows ssk 27 k2tog mattress lengthwise BO and sacrifice a goat to the knitting gods. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WANT "INSTRUCTIONS," I JUST GAVE THEM TO YOU

#knitting #no it's not a real pattern but I can't write one that makes sense because I have no freaking clue what any of that means #How do you make things that aren't basic rectangles #Why has every knitter I've asked for help just said 'patterns are easy; you just have to know how to read them' & then refused to teach me #Where do I even find a goat to sacrifice #How do I join the pattern cult #I am so confused #I've been knitting for almost a decade but I can only make scarves and potholders #I learned one (1) stitch by watching a YouTube video and none of my friends or family knit so I have no IRL resources #And nobody I meet seems to want to take the time to explain the rest to me #I taught myself to sew through trial and error but that doesn't really work with knitting because error is pretty much just... Unraveling? #Anyway sorry for the tag rant I'm just frustrated that I see pretty things I want to make but the instructions are in an alien language #And the gap between 'absolute novice' and 'intermediate' seems to be about 20 years of experience and formal instruction

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho) #healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage.... #1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception'' #3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.'' #idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band'' #edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry. #but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally. #i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet . #i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound. #but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too. #here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort) #choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

[licollisa]

Susie "it's the intent that counts" deltarune

#local teenager managed a record breaking 1 (one) rock skips (her pride is scarred beyond compare) #aight guys gonna snork mimimi its almost 4 am #deltarune #kris #susie #utdr #lico arting