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soupette · 3 years

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C!Dream being treated kindly feels wrong to me. The idea of C!Dream getting a redemption arc feels wrong to me.

It feels wrong to me, and I think some other people feel similarly, and I think I can kinda put into words why?

I think the thing that’s the biggest factor in why possible redemption/sympathy for C!Dream feels Wrong to some people rn has to do with Exile.

To me, I can’t really sympathize with C!Dream, even with his abuse and the prison situation rn, because I still resent him for Exile.

And with every situation as it is rn, I feel like he’s gotten away with it.

Because I think there’s a question that’s important: Who knows the extent of what happened?

•Tommy obviously, as it was done to him

•Dream, because he did the abuse

•Arguably Wilbur, because he has Ghostbur’s memories(?) and Ghostbur witnessed much of Exile, not the entire time as he was sent away but enough to witness abuse

•Possibly Sam, because I believe he mentioned Dream telling him what he did to Tommy to the Eggpire, and seemed disturbed and protective over Tommy, but we don’t technically know what he was told

•Ranboo, along with Techno and maybe Tubbo? know more than most, or have seen some about how it’s affected him. (Ranboo wrote letters with Tommy and saw Tommy’s concerning words, Techno worked with Tommy after his exile and witnessed his behavior and fear of Dream, along with Dream threatening to burn his disc if he didn’t come with him.

Other a few, people don’t really know what happened. Not really anyone other than Tommy himself knows exactly how fucked up it was. Nobody else, besides the victim and abuser, knows the extent of what happened. (Ghostbur didn’t witness everything so neither did Wilbur; Sam, through Dream’s words and getting his knowledge, still wouldn’t know how Tommy felt or acted in personal moments Dream wasn’t there to witness)

Okay. Another important question, worded twice bc I talk too much: What are the consequences of those people knowing? What’s happened because of it?

Well, in terms of people holding Dream accountable specifically for Exile?

Nothing, really. Dream’s essentially gotten away with it.

His actions did lead him to prison, which is definitely a punishment and accountability for his manipulation and crimes throughout the course of the server and all that jazz, but that wasn’t for Exile; that was really rather for the whole Finale situation and everything else. I don’t think that’s Exile accountability because it wasn’t intended to be so. Sam knows about exile because Dream told him, but I don’t think he knew then. He only learned after Dream was in the cell. It didn’t play a factor in locking him away.

Sam defended Tommy from the Eggpire, showing an understanding that he’d been through a lot, and he treated Tommy with kindness during the Hotel era. This can be seen, at least partly because Sam has had a positive relationship with Tommy before, in response to Sam knowing about Exile from Dream. But this reaction only affects Tommy rather than involving or directly referencing Dream.

And what happened with Sam later on? Well, because of his role as the Warden and his attachment to the rules, he ended up locking Tommy in the prison with Dream. So from a character who arguably Knows about the abuse, that’s not an action that holds Dream accountable, and as of now it looks like that’s not really going to happen.

Techno, a character who has Seen A Bit (“come with me or I’ll burn you disc” in front of his eyes, saw Tommy’s behavior after exile, hid Tommy from Dream, who was looking for him) doesn’t Know Enough to have a full understanding and Doesn’t Know what actually happened and ended up teaming up with Dream. He didn’t seem to care when told Tommy was beaten to death by Dream.

Wilbur technically held Dream accountable, in a way, for a moment, though not to his face—he told Tommy that he would have killed Dream for how he treated him. That was a moment where a character other than Tommy said, essentially, That Was Fucked Up. But he then changes his mind and tells Tommy he agrees.*

*I feel like I explicitly remember Wilbur saying he agreed with Exile in a certain point at a stream but I rewatched a bit and didn’t see it when I was expecting to. I still need to rewatch it all but I may be wrong on this wording?? Nonetheless he expresses Dream is right and that he’s in prison because he dared to be a challenge.

So from the non-Tommy people that know Dream hasn’t recieved backlash for Exile, to his face or about him or otherwise.

In general, this is understandable because Tommy has barely processed the extent of the trauma and abuse himself (I don’t think he’s even used the word abuse yet? I think he’s called it manipulation and has used trauma) and not many people know. And as I went through before, the people who do know don’t Know Everything or they still haven’t really done anything to acknowledge Dream as the abuser.

But recently, with the prison plotline and the torture plotline where Dream is suffering, and where he might possibly be broken out and given a healing arc or even redemption, that’s pretty uncomfortable to me.

That creates sympathy for him and puts him in a vilnerable siruation.

That’s fine and natural to sympathize with someone in a situation like him; I kind of feel guilty I don’t. It’s fine for characters to sympathize and it’s fine for viewers, etc.

But it’s uncomfortable, to me, because it’s not Dream in his entirety that’s being treated nicely. It’s a version of Dream who hasn’t done all he did in exile because people don’t know what he did. Their perception of him is without that act of cruelty and in my opinion, torture. The audience knows; characters don’t.

Fine, if the characters learn what happened, they can still break him out, they can still help him recover mentally, if that’s what they want to do. But if they don’t have that knowledge, to the audience watching and knowing what they don’t, it brings about a sense of injustice.

It’s like the fandom is at the risk of moving on from Exile because in the story, it’s really brought up by nothing but Tommy’s trauma responses?

I lied. As I get further I’m getting more aware I’m actually terrible at this putting this all into words. While knowing abuse is abuse and both Dream and Tommy should have help for their trauma:

It just feels cruel for an abuser not to be properly known as an abuser and receive sympathy or empathy from characters who’ve treated the abuse victim without sympathy or empathy, even if they didn’t know.

I worded so much of this badly lmaooo my bad

TLDR: I think it’s off-putting to see Dream being given sympathy as an abuse victim when we haven’t seen him really acknowledged as an abuser.

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aaspiringhero · 7 years

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Scarred- Part 1

Title: Scarred- Part 1

Characters: Dean/Reader, Sam

Pairing: Dean/Female Reader

Warnings: Talk of scars. Angst. Talk of emotional and physical wounds.

Word Count: 1,419

Summary: What if emotional scars were shown on the body? If the emotional trauma is really bad the scar is worse. The majority of scars are on the body with the worse of the scars around the chest, face, and neck. Dean and the Reader have known each other for a year. Their feelings for each other have been progressing since they met. They see each other every few weeks on hunts. Dean is pushing her away because he doesn’t want his scars to push her away. He has only ever allowed one-night stands to see them before.

A/N: I have never written something like this before. I don’t think I do well with angst but please let me know. I did not think this would be as long as it turned into. Therefore, there will be a part two! Please let me know if that’s what you want and what you think.

I sighed as my phone rang on the counter of the hotel bathroom. I leaned around the shower curtain and grabbed my phone quickly, “Hello,” I answered breathily.

Sam’s voice came over the speaker quickly, “Y/N, thank God. We need you at the bunker.” Sam was talking quickly and he sounded worried.

My eyebrows furrowed and I turned off the water quickly. I grabbed a towel and stepped out of the tub, “Sam, what’s going on? Is it Dean?” Sam has known about my feelings for Dean for the past six months. His calling me usually didn’t worry me but his tone is concerning.

His response was clipped, “Yes, Y/N, you need to get here ASAP.”

His answer confused me a little, “Sam, give me some context.”

He sighed exasperatedly, “Something is wrong and he just keeps asking for you. You have to get the bunker soon.”

I frowned and started to dry off one-handed, “Okay, I’ll be there in about eight hours. I’m a state away finishing up a salt and burn.”

He sighed, this time in relief, “Okay, good. We’ll see you soon. Be careful.”

I nodded, “Okay, Sammy. See you soon.” I hung up the phone and set it back on the counter. I looked up at the mirror and prepared myself to go non-stop for the next couple of days.

I stared at my face in the mirror before allowing my eyes to wander. My whole torso is scattered with small silvery scars. The biggest of my scars is a jagged, silver scar in between my breasts. This one formed when my parents were killed by demons two years ago. I have never been one of the people in our society who try to hide their scars. I wear them with a sort of pride that I have gone through so much and come through on the other side. However, there are people like Sam and Dean who like to ignore their previous pain and scars. They tried to hide them at all costs. In my opinion, that’s why they always where flannel. I have known the boys for a year and I have never seen either of them without a shirt. This is especially odd since we have shared hotel rooms before. I don’t blame them. They have been through a lot in their short lives. I took a deep breath before I set to drying off and getting dressed. I threw all my stuff in my duffle and headed out the door.

I was driving quicker than I would have if Sam had not sounded so concerned. I love Dean. I noticed my feelings for Dean when we were all on a case together. He was injured and I nearly lost my mind. Luckily, Cass showed up in time to heal him. We slept in the same bed that night. There was no confession of love from either of us; there was no sex. We just needed to have some physical contact. He held my hand the majority of the night and it made the night more bearable because it reassured me that he was still with me. Dean has been my best friend for a year and I can no longer imagine life without me being able to talk to or see him on a regular basis.

I got there sooner than I thought I would. I made it in about seven hours because I didn’t stop or slow down most of the way. I pulled in front of the bunker doors and jumped out of my car. I knocked on the bunker door and waited for someone to answer. I heard some scuffling around before I heard the metal of the door moving.

I anticipated Sam when the door opened, so I was surprised when it was Dean on the other side. My eyes widened a bit, “Dean, are you okay?”

He seemed surprised at my appearance, “Y/N, I’m fine. What are you doing here?”

What Sam had done suddenly made a lot of sense and I started laughing. I shook my head, “Sammy, that ass. Your brother called me over here and told me that something was wrong with you.”

He started chuckling too and rolled his bright green eyes, “That explains why he headed out about thirty minutes ago. He said he was going on a supply run. Come in, Y/N.” I nodded and crossed through the threshold quickly.

Once we were down the stairs and in the library I turned to look at him, “Dean, you know what he’s doing, right?”

He sighed, “Y/N, you know we can’t.” We had discussed our feelings before but Dean had been insistent that we stay friends because he didn’t want to mess anything up. I know that he also has issues with his past. His scars run deep and he is bound and determined to keep other people out of his inner demons. I wish he would let me in because I want to be able to take some of that weight off of his shoulders.

I leaned against the table and crossed my arms, “Dean, you know my feelings on the matter.”

He sighed and seemed exhausted to be having this conversation, “Y/N, you may think you know my baggage but you don’t until you’ve actually seen it. I don’t want you to look at me with pity.”

I frowned and dropped my defensive stance, “Dean, I’ve gotten to know you pretty well over the past year. Your baggage is a part of you. It is not all of you. Your flaws are what make you human. They are what made me fall in love with you in the first place.” By the time I was done speaking I was standing directly in front of him, my (y/e/c) eyes staring into his green ones. He was looking over my shoulder until I finished the last sentence, then his eyes snapped to mine.

He seemed speechless and after a moment he tried to clear his throat, “Y/N…” his voice wandered off and he didn’t seem to know what to say.

I touched his arm and tried to catch his eyes again, “Dean, I want to get to know all of you. I have seen the confidence, the humor, and the strength. You have never let me see the truly vulnerable side of you. I’m not asking for that right away. I’m just asking that we try.” After a moment I reached up and hugged him tightly, “Now, I’ll be in my room. If you wanna talk about it you know where to find me.”

I walked to the room that I stay in when I stay in the bunker with the boys. I’ve only stayed over a few times. I usually only did it if I was on a case nearby. It is two doors down from Dean’s room. I closed the door and immediately grabbed my phone to call Sam. I am going to kick his ass the next time I see him. He is so invested in mine and his brother’s business and it drives me crazy.

He didn’t answer the first time so I called again right away. He answered on the second ring this time around, “Sam, I am going to kill you and make sure that it sticks this time.”

He chuckled, “Come on, Y/N. You know you love me. I just want you guys to talk.”

I sighed and flopped on the bed, “Sam, do you realize that forcing your brother to face emotions makes him want to hide them more? He has to face this stuff on his own time.”

He seemed to realize my concerns then, “Y/N, he has faced it. He’s told me how he feels. I just had to make you guy’s stay in the same vicinity for a little while. I’ll be gone for the next day or so. You need to figure it out together. Have fun, (y/n/n). See you soon.” As soon as he stopped talking he hung up.

I stared at the phone for a minute before I began to process his words. I took a deep breath and acknowledged to myself that he was right. I am just scared that our discussion earlier would push him away. I lay on my bed and curled onto my side. The last thing that I remember thinking before my eyes closed was that I hoped Dean could find it in him to give some of that pressure to me.

Tags: @just-a-touch-of-sass-and-fandoms

#scars #dean #reader #hurt

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