#it’s three hours jesus fucking christ

[szaphonic]

msnd: might suck nyour dick

#on my way to my callback ladies wish me luck ! #i say into the void reaching my three followers #feeling SO much better than i did on the actual audition day #so taking this as a good sign bc if that steaming pile of shit dumpster fire could get me a callback then i hav every right 2 b delusional #this new fangled tumblr tag limit fuckinw my vibe #not to worry gals #listening to selena to get into character is hard work studying #NO MATTER #it’s three hours jesus fucking christ #DONT CARE #it’s gna be good and even if it isn’t good #nope can’t imagine it not being anything other than good #time 2 reprise my role ! #bc one thing abt leila k is when it’s shakespeare shes gna EAT DOWN #lei.txt

[athenavine]

So that Echoes of the Solstice special was a ROLLER COASTER, yeah?

Have some incredibly soft wizards to come back down from it all.

#critical role #the mighty nein #echoes of the solstice #shadowgast #caleb x essek #completed fic #4.5k words #I gotta go read my own fic to calm the fuck down jesus christ #I have WORK in THREE HOURS and that was SO MUCH

[sodrippy]

trying to explain to my parents how my childhood affected me while also lying that it wasnt their fault is so. what a waste of fucking time. i should be at the club getting railed instead fuck this shit

#this is so insane i would pay $50000 to be anywhere else #i need to be anywhere else. actually no they need to go away. fuck this!!!!!! #i feel like shit no matter what like ok either i lie and they feel ok but i feel dogshit for taking blame i shouldnt #or im honest and have to endure the resulting guilt trip and thus feel even worse #like. cool. why dont i just kill myself in front of you oh wait that'll compound the fucking guilt trip innit! #anyway. so maybe ill never get over the parental issues. fucking lol. #gripping onto sanity w my fucking teeth rn i need to think about. morse code for three hours to become a little bit normal again. #jesus fucking christ. #every time i think oh ive matured ive mellowed im better now #maybe its just a sign that the things that fucked me up as a kid Were real after all......hm

[queenerdloser]

i've been trying to schedule a time to take my driver's test for literal months because i shit you not there have been literally zero appointments at any of the five (5) dmvs within 20m of me that offer the driving test. so i scheduled one at a place that's a literal hour drive bc i was like. well at least i have it on the books and if i have to drive an hour out there to do it so be it! but i've been regularly checking the website at odd times (as suggested by multiple people) for any cancellations.

and lo and behold! i just checked it (literally 2m ago) and there was an 8a open slot at a place 10m from where i live. i had to think about it for maybe about 30s or so (checking the map to make sure it actually is close to me, considering if anyone i know with a car would be available to take me over there to take the test at 8 fucking am in the morning) and by the time i convinced myself i might as well just do it the fucking appointment had already been snatched by someone else.

i get that dmvs are probably just as understaffed as anywhere else. but this is fucking untenable to me. like. how are you so understaffed that i have not been able to schedule this appointment for literal months (i have been regularly checking! since last fucking october!) at any of the places that are within a normal distance to where i live? why on earth are dmvs in fucking st. cloud somehow more available despite the fact that they only have one vs the like five within the twin cities limits? why are you not opening more slots/hiring more driving instructors to ensure that there is plenty of availability for this apparently so essential service that you are constantly booked up for it??? most importantly why is there not!!! a fucking dmv!!! that offers a driving test!!! actually in one of the twin cities? why are they only in the suburbs? i am chewing off my own arm, this whole process is incredibly frustrating and i can't believe i caught a lucky break for the first time in five months and lost it because i hesitated for less than one minute.

#liveblogging life #when i tell you i screamed i am Not Joking #next time im not fucking hesitating i'll take whatever slot theyve got even if it's for the next fucking day #i have a booking in fucking rochester but a) it's like an hour+ away #PLUS the only person who doesnt have anything happening during dmv hours is my dad who lives an hour away from me AND from rochester #which means he has to drive an hour to pick me up and then we both have to drive an hour to get to this appt #which means this turns from a 20m appointment to a full fucking day affair for NO! GODDAMNED! REASON! #other than for some reason the fucking five different dmvs within 20 miles of me just cant seem to keep an appt slot open to save their lif #i get that the reason we dont have driving test dmvs in downtown mpls is bc the streets suck lol #but like. you serve a city of A LOT of people so you should maybe have more than THREE within the suburbs #and two more within 20m of the city #like maybe. you should have a few more than that. if youre that seriously overbooked #told by multiple people the only way i can get an appt is if i check in the middle of the night #how is that acceptable? jesus christ. JESUS CHRIST! im so annoyed right now.

[tyrannosaurus-trainwreck]

I appreciate that John Wick 1 was like, oh, an action film, hmm. Okay. Then for every film after that, they were like "Well, we just need a vague plot and we'll let the actors madlib some yeahs and some huhs and we don't really need a screenwriter for that, right? So all that extra money can go to hiring a human-sized swarm of moths to be the DP?" And they did.

#the home depot lighting aisle is the john wick cinematographer's happy place istg #like i know the fighting is theoretically the point because this film was by and for stuntpeople #but if you look at the sets and the lighting 90% of the fights are clearly just an excuse for everything else happening in the shot #i'm kicking myself for not seeing No. 4 in theaters when it came out #a bunch of reviews were like 'diminishing returns' and 'interminable fight scenes' and it's almost 3 ass-numbing hours long #but jesus christ the fight in the abandoned house on the way to sacre coeur #you're only supposed to be paying attention to the fighting in the fight scenes for three minutes tops #the rest of it is for admiring the flawless shot composition you heathen fucks

[elytrafemme]

feeling very grateful for my mother and therapist who find it in their hearts to tell me every single time i mention therapy that i should "consider doing every other week" while denying that it's strictly a time/money incentive for them because i will always explain very clearly that i cannot do anything other than weekly and they'll go okay i get it and then next week ask me again. Like hearing this from my mom, whatever, she doesn't know my issues. hearing it from my fucking therapist, though?

#neg #we've established that i sometimes spontaneously want to kill myself sarah what do you think is going to happen #suicide tw #sorry. but like they're doing this shit AGAIN. #because i canceled under 24 hr advance she is charging a fee and she wrote me an odyssey of a text message like #do you want to go every other week also this helps us not breed resentment - r u fucking joking #and FINALLY my mom FINALLY told me that it's because of money that i should start canceling appts i dont need #but like. for ages she just refused to mention this to me so it was like Okay. well stop telling me to cancel for no reason then #like literally for the first three years of my therapy journey it was every other week but they'd cancel so it'd be #an hour once a month and it was absolutely horrible #so i'm not sure why everyone wants me to stop going to therapy now #just because i have friends and i'm generally happy doesn't mean that i don't have intense breakdowns jesus christ #whatever. no therapy today she can fucking rot #Time to work on an essay ^_^

[lovelyisadora]

it isn’t the end of the semester but i’m already having my end of the semester breakdown oh my GOD I am going to have a heart attack. sprite save me

#nothing is done!! not my applications not my interviews etc #I am running out of time to graduate in June and I could just graduate in august but then I have to admit to my family that I fucked up bad #it takes 3-6 weeks to get IRB approval I need to step on it #it’ll take at least 4 for my paid leave forms for work to go through and I don’t know if it’ll get approved #and if it does when do my benefits start #I feel like an idiot where those forms are concerned because it needs an occupation code and I don’t know if it’s specific #or if I can just select the one that best matches my job description and I can’t find that info anywhere #my body is literally shutting down I have two golf ball sized tumors and I can’t get out of bed but I can’t sleep #my car is kaputt and I have to call several different shops to get it seen because the one I took it to couldn’t fix it #and is any of it worth it!! is any of it!! #I cried for like three hours today bc I tried to talk to my mom about it and. well. she was very much a mom about it and not helpful #like yeah! obviously I want to graduate in June! but my research isn’t even approved because I haven’t been able to get myself #to complete the application for the last six months! Jesus Christ! #I can’t sleep and I’m so tired I’m so so tired my brain just straight up isn’t working! #I swear to god if I finally meet with my advisor and he does his well you don’t seem to need my help bullshit again #I’m gonna actually snap and kill him #anyway. need to do three things by end of Wednesday. just three things #clean. irb. and paid leave. that’s it that’s all. #it’s what I’ve tried to do the last four days and I’ve accomplished none of it but. Jesus Christ it’s gotta get done #FOUR THINGS I have to call the shop to get an estimate for a car I’m not even going to bother to fix #ok vent session over #delete later #fkdjdjshhaa im a MESS #sprite save me 😭 #save me sprite. save me

[in-death-we-fall]

Public service announcement: if you feel it necessary to put "please send someone with 4wd/awd" in your delivery instructions, you should not be ordering delivery ❄️

#this was not one of my deliveries but god. people. #i did get stuck in the snow and have to have my mom's boyfriend come push me out with his truck #and the next order i took i barely made it up the slight incline to get back up the street #i was already supposed to have gone home anyway so after the other order i had at the same time (which had three fucking 2l sodas by the wa #y) i got to go home #do you think there's always someone with a truck on shift? do you think we're not out here just casually sliding all over in our cars? #also SHOVEL YOUR FUCKING WALKWAY jesus christ #catch me hopping between someone else's footprints in at least 6 inches of snow up to a completely dark house that i am going to get my car #stuck leaving for all of seven dollars #people felt more bad for us working short hours on christmas eve than having to drive on their fucking unplowed streets all day #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #it's not gonna be above freezing until fucking wednesday i am TIRED OF THIS

[fangedtracks]

just got done for the day and i have a raging headache :/

#phd chatter #i have been in lab for the past six hours jesus christ #it was lab practical day so students had to run three experiments and obvi it didn't go well bc science rarely does #and i had to be like. LISTEN. science rarely ever goes how lab does!!! #ive been on a project since january ? and we are STILL confused #and one time i synthesized a molecule and i got a 0.97% yield (regular is like 40% lol) #and yeah! i failed! spectacularly! but it told me something about my system and i also worked to improve my method!! #anyway im gonna go home and make some dinner and pass the fuck out bc i am slowly becoming inhuman #oh! thé cool thing that happened tho is one of my students asked if we could take a pic #and also said that they recently came out as non-binary and thought it was cool seeing me kickass and succeed and also that i'm cool so!!! #like sorry bestie milo is like cool in theory but he thinks prime numbers are so cool and won't shut up about excel #hes actually such a fucking dweeb lmao #but it was really cool and it made me feel so much better about grad school!! #like this term has been absolute hell and i feel like i'm dying constantly but it was really cool that they said that to me :3 #also someone else was like thank you for an amazing term!! it was really nice getting to know u and ur so cool #AGAIN THANKS BUT ALSO AM I #do you think a cool person finds derivatives and integrals sexy. #anyway!! it made my heart feel so happy

[beauty-grace-outer-space]

Didn't even make it til 10AM without sobbing at my desk this time.

#overachiever to the max #less than an hour at work? Time to SOB! #I fucked up an interaction with my doctor cuz they can't read and I can't pretend to be a sane normal human for two seconds #so I said #Hey the anti anxiety med you prescribed works really well and I do still have several left #but I don't want to be anxious about #like rationing them for fear that I won't get more so can we set it up as a recurring prescription like we had discussed? #and she said “I'm so glad it's working well for you! Happy holidays!” #so I said “Thank you. So if I need a refill do I call or?” #and she said “You can always call our office!” #so I called the office to clarify and immediately burst into tears because I am a disaster who hasn't stopped crying for three days #and they were like “do you... want a refill?” and I blubbered something about just needing to know that I CAN get a refill if/when I need t #so they are going to “Check with the doctor and let me know” #which means that she's going to find out I'm crazy #which probably means she won't give me these again #which means I have 12 to make last for the rest of time because I'm a fucking idiot and broke one trying to half it and it just shattered #because I can't even take pills correctly apparently #also found out yesterday I don't even take BATHS correctly like #jesus christ #can I please for the love of god have one single aspect of my life where I do something right #and am not just a fucked up disaster mess

[kimchokejin]

Tag game 🎶

oh yes. i will become a bts blog again soon i swear

i was tagged by my girl almighty 👑 @cheekyquokka​, the so beautiful 💅 @blueside-hobi​, and my honey 🍯 @wistfulocean​ to do this. thanks, you guys are the best <3

You can usually tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to. put your favorite playlist on shuffle and list the first ten songs then tag ten people! no skipping!

i did this game once before but ofc you know i can't resist

🔀 Shuffling my (again) new and improved (?) ultimate faves playlist...

i tagged a lot of people last time and that’s literally all i’ve been doing in the last few weeks lol so i will not tag 10...but i will tag @jiminsproof​ and @sugaggukkie​ in case they want to or have done it recently and wanna share 💖 and ofc anyone else who sees this and would like to play, just say i tagged you (and give me recs lyric was right i literally always want recs and i will never get over her saying that omg 😭🥰)

#tag: i'm it! #cheekyquokka #blueside-hobi #wistfulocean #sugaggukkie #jiminsproof #okay first of all i'm laughing because the first time i did this i said 'promise i won't be like this with every tag game' #and that wasn't even meant to be a lie #i don't have much to say about these songs tbh aside from...they're good #so instead let me tell you how i overthought this tag game where literally the whole point is to not think about it at all #after spending....uhhhh...i can't even say how long...updating my faves playlist #it's now 4x longer because it started to sound stale and it was missing a lot of ollllld and new new faves #i put it on shuffle once...twice...three times...over. and over. and over. and over. #because 'no the first song has to be fun and upbeat. gotta get the party started' #'oh no too many 2010s hits' 'too many 2000s hits' 'too many pre-2000 hits' 'this playlist sounds like my dad made it' #'too many sad songs i'm not trying to make them cry' 'ugh that's too ~romantic~' 'too much LOOONGing jesus chRIST' #'too much taylor swift' 'too much one direction' 'too much bts' (yes. too much bts. on my fucking bts blog. for other bts fans. lmao) #'i really can't recommend MORE marianas trench can i? i must insist that you HAVE had enough' #'i've recommended too many of these before' 'all these songs sound the same' 'now these songs are too cool for me i feel like a poser' #and that went on for like...an hour...until this shuffle happened and it was too fun not to use :) #so i'm aware that was a complete waste because i'm literally the only person who cares #hahaha ~just little pisces sun virgo moon cap rising things~ #but on the bright side i've been listening to the ultimate faves playlist for the past few days and i'm having a GREAT time #so it's all been worth it!

[yuoic]

.

#taking a little fucking break #jesus fucking christ #i have to (and actually plan to) do this more often #so that i don't get this tired so soon xd #..well #not so soon since ive been walking uphill for nearly three hours #but definitely soon to my own standards #Chipinque #11:16 am

[wolfbirbisme]

#writing rambles #warhammer 40k #jesus christ #I spent a good three hours researching the rank of one (1) character #he wasn't even a custodes someone help #seriously tho if anyone has any tips for this shit please help holy fuck #god i need to start reading the books my brain is melting rn

[enthusiasticarsonist]

bitch with insomnia vs. bitch who can sleep til 5 in the afternoon sharing the same bed. fight

#literally so...distraught idfk it's just that yesterday i was awake at 4:30 am and she was at 1:30 pm #and today her trains supposed to come in like twenty minutes and the second one in an hour twenty minutes and she is still SLEEPING #i love her to pieces man but this is annoying tye shit out of me she has stuff to do and her alarm went of three times and the walk from #my flat to the train station tales twenty minutes minimum! #in general i respect the kind of people who can sleep that long hut jesus fucking christ #enthusiastic rambling #i made like 80 spelling mistakes in this but i could not care less

[neutronian]

genuinely fucking hate my parents. i wish so bad i'd been born to literally anyone else.

#e speaks #my hands are literally shaking from anger and anxiety and i don't know what else #i hate them so much i hate them so much jesus fucking christ i didn't know i could hate like this #delete later #in just seven hours there have been three massive arguments which is some kind of a record i don't want to have achieved. jesus fuck #why did I have to get these two as my parents. why them #the only good thing to come out of living with them is that i no longer want to kms 24/7 i get super fucking angry instead #progress! i think. has to be progress right?