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#it’s the WORST time to find a job rn
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I have an interview at Chipotle today and I checked the reviews, all of the reviews from the past two months are one star. This seems like a terrible Chipotle.
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yohankang · 6 months
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i fucked up majorly at work today and i will have to deal with it tomorrow so i'm going crazy rn
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alexnooah · 1 year
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tittysuckersworld · 1 year
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just went back through all my old art posts, and just, wow. i have inproved. like yeah, i still fumble and draw some stuff silly or bad. but its all mine. i made that. its less cringe at the bad art and more "wow i did that once." like i used to know where my very first sewing projects were, and whenever i looked at them i would laugh a little cause the stiches were inches long(like 3 cms) and the fabric was horible and the lil details i tryed to add looked like shit. plus the tiny pillows wernt even stuffed right, but it was mine. i made that. i took some fabric i liked from the fabric store and some extra stuff i had on hand and made it. i even worked really hard so no raw edges would be showing. they sucked and were some of the worst things ive ever made, but i made them. it was my start. now gotta gonna hopefully find all my old sketch books and find the drawings i was proud of to wonder at and redraw because gosh darn it i love art sooooo much. creation is just the best
#<3<3<3#froggo gets got emotional again#what a suproze lieing#but im still just#wow. i did that at one point.#i started and i suckef horibly#but i got better#wish i could pick up sewing and knitting again as hobbies but judt dont have time or energy anymore#may find lil ball and my needles but honestly would probs just do more harm than good#i cant knit anything i need rn and my hands already ache enough from just writing and being put through so much#but still i wish i had the time and energy to just#create again. i miss it. i miss having to not worry about my studies and just focus on my crafts because thats what i was good at#i miss the nice jobs and smiles from being a talented art kid#even if it was in an art most wouldnt appreciate much#i miss when i had more origional ideas#or when i would draft up patterns and make lil clothes for my toys#i miss being able to talk to others#gosh sry dark stuff but i miss when i thought having to yell at teachers was my worst problems#i miss when i was ignorant of the pains of my childhood#i miss not having a dibilitating eating disorder. or sosial anxiety because when i talked i didnt think about if i was doing it wrong#i miss having friends i could talk to in real life the most i think tho#i love all friends online dont get me wrong#but for the past 2 years of highschool its just been sad#only one relationship that ended badly and one sorta friendship i couldnt handle becaude i didnt matter in it.#and thats it for my amazing high school stuffs. all my childhood heard that this is best part of my life.#but i keep hitting all time lows. took a fucking mental health day today and dont feel better. nothing will change.#every year i think it will get better finally and is just worse. im sorry this all too vent and sad#i know it dosent matter much. im fine. i dont even have any harsh expectations put on me. my dad dosent care when i move out and#im not expected to go to collage. much less finnish my high school diploma. i probably dont need to care about fully getting it together#til im like 40. but sont want that i guess. fuck i dont know. i miss when i was expected to go to collage
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i'm tired because i can barely sleep in this heat and i have had so much work to do these days (i love being employed). i look like absolute shit 😫
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chryzure-archive · 2 years
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scenes that made me throw down the book and pace my room like a caged tiger.
#memorie.txt#s.chrysiarchie#i was like ‘WHAT!!!!!! DO NOT DO THIS TO HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!!!!!!!!’#currently brainstorming ways chrysi finds out#funny option: archie finds out first and he is like ‘oh… this… makes me embarrassed. since i spent so much time distancing myself frm you bc#i didn’t want to risk a close relationship when i was going to die. meanwhile you were willing to take the plunge despite ur disease.’#funnier option: chrysi finds out archie’s dying first and she does not say anything hehe :) she jst sits in agony :)#and then she reveals it with ‘let’s play a game. whoever dies first wins.’ and archie thinks she jst says it bc of her dangerous job.#(spoiler alert: neither option is funny)#i also don’t know how clear i’m being rn. my head is KILLING me#but i love the idea of archie’s disease being revealed first#and he has to deal w chrysi being heartbroken over it#archie thinks it’s normal!! the way she’s reacting!! because YEAH she found out the man she loves is dying!!#and i mean. it IS. but chrysi’s also grieving the fact that she’ll STILL die first#and that archie won’t even live long enough to get over her + live a long and happy life#because… he’s dying too…. he’s dying at a slower rate than her but he’s still dying#godddddd THAT hurts. and archie finding out and he’s like ‘WAIT. ACTUALLY THIS FUCKING SUCKS. WHY DO WE BOTH HAVE TO VE DYING.’#is sad :( don’t think abt it too hard because it hurts so much#i started out this ship as a way for chrysi to be a lesson to archie.. something funny and heartwarming#chrysi teaching the flirt how to love… and now it’s the worst race to the end for both of them#A R G H!!!! IN ANGUISH!!!
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shatteredsnail · 1 year
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oOoOooOo the trust members want to have reliable communication soooo badly oOooOooO
#sorry for being annoyed about my place of work once more#just found out there was a silly top secret meeting between lt and the trust members to discuss reopening#and rec/ti aka the only departments i care about because it’s who i work for may not reopen till 2024.#it’s been like 4 months already. please i just want my job back#but that isn’t even the worst part. they said that. and then told everyone in the meeting to not tell anyone#because they don’t want anyone to leave if they find out. they’re just going to keep setting a reopening date every few months#technically one of our towers is open for rooms rn. but everyone’s showing up and realizing our restaurants and rec and literally everything#is closed and every other building is a hazard zone. so they cancel once they see and stay somewhere else in the area#but because of our cancellation policy we still make some money off of it so there’s zero motivation to tell people#it’s so d u m b. communicate to your customers. communicate to your employees. it’s not that hard#also. am i literally going to be in college in a different state by the time my position is functional again.#like. am i just doomed to work wherever people ask until then because it sucks doing that#i can’t say no because i’m working less hours rn and it’ll be considered limiting availability or whatever#so i’d either get an infraction or stop getting my supplemental pay. which i kind of need#but saying yes is awful because i did not apply to any of these jobs for a reason#apologies if you read any of this. i’m just mad
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shioprincess · 1 year
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feeling so conflicted between taking a job offer that I could regret because of the culture and workload versus just continuing my job search with the uncertainty of when I’m going to find my next job :’) it’s so hard because I value and prioritize stability but I don’t want to potentially ruin my life and health by making the wrong decision
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star-eyed-angels · 19 days
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Stray Kids Reaction | NSFW | Being Stray kids' Stress Toy (HYUNG LINE)
The times you become Skz'z personal stress toy
Word Count: 3.3k
A/N: ya girl is back after what feels like 17 years. So sorry for the delay, these ended up being WAY longer than I intended. As a peace offering, I'm releasing hyung line first so I don't keep y'all waiting even longer.
THIS IS NOT EDITED SO PLEASE BE KIND ITS 4AM RN🥹
Warnings: free use (literally all of them), sub/dom dynamics, nicknames, teasing, creampie, orgasm denial, overstimulation, biting, mirror sex, filming, spit kink, blow jobs, boob job, handjobs (It's 4am I'm so tired and definitely missing something, please let me know if something needs to be added)
Read at your own discretion
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CHAN 
Looking back on it now, you find it funny how this whole arrangement started. You’d been one of the last staff members in the building, having lost a bet to work the night shift. You had just finished prepping for the next shoot when you’d walked by the studios. Seeing Chan’s light on was nothing new, he practically lived in the studio at this point. What was new was the sound of a loud thud shaking the door frame. You’d cautiously opened the door, to find Chan pacing the room.
“Chan? What’s wrong?” you rush into the room, assuming the worst.
“These stupid fucking deadlines. We’re not even finished with this track and they want three by next week on top of schedules, like are you fucking kidding me?!,” he growls out hand slamming against the wall again. You jump as the sound rattles around the room. You try to grab his shoulder gently to calm him. When you grab him he spins around pressing you into his desk. You gasp from the sudden movement, His eyes are dark as he stares down at you, face completely red, though you’re not sure if it’s from the anger he feels or his yelling. When he notices your wide eyed stare he comes back to his senses, taking a deep breath. 
“Sorry, sorry, it’s not you y/n. These schedules are just a lot right now,” he says, squeezing at your sides softly. You can’t help the way you shiver from his behavior, a warm feeling fluttering inside you. 
“It’s okay Channie,” you say softly, mentally kicking yourself from the way your voice sounds so breathless. He eyes you closely, a small smirk forming on his lips as he steps closer. The smell of his cologne is intoxicating, with the way it wraps around you. Of course Chan takes notice immediately, leaning closer to whisper in your ear.
“I think I’m just in need of a little relaxer… think you can help me with that pretty?” he says squeezing your side a little firmer. You can only nod, hands shaking as they pull him closer to you.
He has you bent over the desk, bottoms ripped enough for him to slide his cock into you with ease. Your hands are pinned behind you, easily held in one of Chan’s hands. The other grips your waist, your plush side spilling through his fingers. 
“Fuck look how well you’re taking me, pretty,” he says, now the breathless one. Each of his thrusts has the desk knocking against the wall. The edge of the desk digs into you, and you’re sure it’ll leave bruises for you to admire later. Chan fucks into you with a harsh pace, each press of his hips makes you crave him more and more. You wish you could articulate it to him in some way, but you suppose your broken moans will have to do for now.
“You’re so good letting me use you like this,” he says, leaning down to trail his lips across your cheek. You whine at the way he somehow manages to press deeper inside you. 
“Gonna be good and take my cum too, right? Gonna let me fill up this pretty hole?” he teases, feeling the way you flutter around him at his words.
“Fu- fuck! Yes Channie, I’ll be good, promise!” you cry out, squirming in his hold. He grips the back of your neck, pressing you harder into his desk as his hips pick up speed. 
“Beg for it pretty,” he commands, not once faltering in his face.
“Please use me! Please fill me up Channie, need it!” You beg, no longer caring about anything except having him finish inside you. Chan seems to be thinking the same thing, a loud groan filling the room as you beg. Chan lasts for a few more thrusts before his hips finally still. A loud growl escapes him as he finally cums inside you. The feeling forcing you into your own orgasm.
‘I think I’ll just have to call you every time I need to de-stress, okay pretty?” he pants out, hips still pressing into you. You can only offer a weak hum in return, but you’re more than happy to be a stress toy for him if it comes with pleasure like this.
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MINHO
Eventually the arrangement turns into you being their ‘assistant’. It was a no brainer for them to have you join them when they travel for schedules, especially during tour season. Minho in particular gets pent up during their performances. If he makes a mistake, you’re always ready.
It doesn’t happen very often with the way Minho practically drills the choreography into his mind. But sometimes Minho finds himself a beat off, barely able to catch himself as he mixes up the choreo. Tonight it happens on their second song of the show, Minho’s movements beats ahead of the others. To everyone else he just looks like he’s hiding his grin, doing his best not to laugh on stage. But not to you. You wince as you watch his mistake in 4K on one of the dressing room screens. You can see the way his eyes harden ever so slightly, enough to know that he’s pissed.
After their sixth song is when they get backstage, rushing to the dressing room to get into their next outfits. 
Minho is the last to walk in, his eyes scanning the room before landing on you. His gaze darkens as he marches over to you. You let out a squeak as he shoves you over the arm of the chair, pulling your leggings just enough to push your panties aside. As per usual no one bats an eye as he yanks his pants down, entering you with no warning. 
“Fucking hell, why are you so tight?” he groans, hips picking up immediately as he pounds into you. HIs thrusts leave you breathless, unable to give him anything past gasps of his name.
“What, were you just waiting for one of us to come back here and fuck your cute pussy, is that it?” he teases, as he starts shucking his top off. The moans you let out come out choked as you struggle to catch your breath from how hard you're being pushed into the couch. With as much strength as you can muster, you turn to look behind you. You feel a hot wave of shame roll over you when you see Minho continue to dress himself as if he isn’t making you fall apart around him. 
He catches you staring out of the corner of his eye, grinning at the way you moan loader at the lack of attention. Just when you feel the pleasure build inside you, Minho’s pulling out and tucking himself back into his pants. 
“Be a good kitten and stay here, If you’re good maybe I’ll let you come at the end, okay?” he says, patting your side. You offer him a small whimper in return, struggling to regain your composure.
The rest of the concert passes in the same manner. During each outfit change Minho comes straight to you, slipping inside you with ease. Each time you plead with him to let you cum, practically sobbing into the couch with how needy you are. His only response is to pull your pants back up, and pat your hip. A smirk toying at his lips when he reminds you to be good for him.
You’re shaking by the time the encore rolls around. Every second that passes feels like an eternity, when the lights on stage finally go out, you feel like you could cry from joy. 
You’re not embarrassed at the way you turn over, presenting yourself to Minho when he and the other members walk through the door. It’s why he calls you kitten, you’re always acting like you’re in heat when he’s using you. 
“What a needy thing I have here, think you’re ready for your reward now kitten?” 
“Yes Minho! Please!!” You cry out, wiggling your hips to entice him. He’s behind you before you finish, hands ghosting over your hips slowly. 
“Min…” you sob out, turning to look at him pleading 
He huffs out a laugh, but still begins to unbutton his jeans. A groan escapes him when he fills you, watching your eyes flutter closed. He grips your hip in one hand, starting a brutal pace. 
“Come on kitty, give me what I want. Cum or you get nothing,” he orders, hand finding its way to your clit. You sob at the tingling pleasure that takes over you, mouth opening in a silent scream when you cum. 
“Good kitty,” he praises, fingers still toying with your clit. You whine, looking over your shoulder with pleading eyes. He only chuckles, of course you’d still be begging for more.
“What? Kitty still wants a treat?,” he teases, watching the way your eyes glimmer with need. You watch the way he bites his lip, hips ever so slightly rutting into you harder. You let your hand trail down to your core, pinching and pulling at your clit. You whine out Minho’s name as you clench around him, willing him to fill you. His hips stutter as your walls force him deeper inside you. A low moan leaving him as he cums without warning. He pulls out just in time to watch himself spill over your backside. You moan as another orgasm is forced out of you, making you tremble from the pleasure.
“Feel better kitten?” He asks, petting your hair. You nod muttering a small thank you as you keen into his soft touches. 
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CHANGBIN
When it comes to Changbin, he likes when you suck him off in the studio. With constant planning of comebacks, 3racha are always writing and pitching songs for upcoming albums. Sometimes the company gives them pushback when it comes to creative control. Like today as you stand in front of a very pissed off Changbin. Anger practically rolls off him in waves after the recent meeting with the company. This is the fifth time this month that his songs have been rejected for an album. You’d been in that meeting with the members and watched as Changbin’s face dropped, his face twisted into a deadly glare. Chan and Jisung had both given you a knowing look which had you counting the seconds until the members were dismissed. You’d followed him back to the studio after the meeting, softly trying to calm him down. He still glares, as he grumbles about how the company is annoying. You watch as he drops onto the couch, slumping back grumpily. He continues to rant, only stopping when he notices you sink to your knees in front of him. 
He watches with narrowed eyes as you run your hands up the sides of his thighs. His breath hitches quietly as you part his legs. 
“Come on Binnie, let me make you feel better?” you ask looking up at him through your lashes.
He bites his lip, giving you a shy nod. That’s all you need before you coax him to lift his hips, tugging his jeans down to pool at his ankles. 
A shaky moan tumbles out of his lips when you mouth at his cock through his boxers. Your hands are still gliding over his thighs, leaving small pink lines where you rake your nails down his skin. While Changbin would never admit it, he loves when you have him like this. The others are more into control, but he wants you to turn him into a pliant mess. 
He’s squirming as your lips travel lower, your teeth nipping at his honey skin teasingly. You leave a trail of hickies on his inner thighs, just to listen to the way he gets breathless from the feeling.
“Fuck, please don’t tease. Need to feel your lips around me pretty,” he begs, doing his best to keep still. 
His hands dig into the leather of the couch as you finally take him between your lips. Moaning at the feeling of him resting heavily against your tongue. The head you give him is messy. Spit covering your lips as you bob your head, staring up at Binnie as you take him deeper with each breath. He’s a moaning mess, hands gently cradling the back of your head. 
“Thank you pretty, it feels so good to have your mouth around me, thank you.” he praises desperately. The shaky tilt to his praises is almost hypnotic, making you want to stay on your knees for him for as long as he begs you to. You’d do anything he’d ask if it lets you hear him whine and beg for you as if he isn’t fully capable of pinning you down to have his way with you.
When you finally find it in yourself to pry your lips off of him, Changbin feels like he could cum just from the way your face stares back up at him. Swollen lips, glossy from his precum, and a string of spit still connecting you to his cock. 
Changbin who does almost cum when you suddenly press his leaking cock between your tits. His brain goes haywire when you start to glide them over him. When his hips begin to messily thrust up, you only encourage him through soft moans.
“Doing so good for me, just want you to make yourself feel good, yeah” you ask, glancing up at him through your lashes.
“Yeah- yeah, feels good pretty. Always feels good with you…” he says breathless from the pleasure coursing through him. 
You’re tongue poking out to catch a taste of him, missing the feeling of him in your mouth. He keens at the lewd image before him, you on your knees as you give him the best head he’ll ever get. Binnie who all but cries when you ask him to cum for you, voice sweet as venom.
“Come on, give it to me, Binnie. Want you to cum for me,” you ask, staring up at him with a pointed look. He comes with a whiny moan, hips stiling as he spills over your chest. He pants as he comes down from his high, now watching you with half-lidded eyes as you lick the cum off yourself. Giving him a satisfied hum, when you notice him watching you. The anger he once felt is now replaced with the need to give you even a fraction of pleasure you just gave him. 
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HYUNJIN
Hyunjin uses you mostly in the practice rooms. The way Chan lives in the studio, Hyunjin lives here. The first time you’re here with him, it's rushed and quiet. Constantly looking over your shoulders, too scared to lock the practice room to avoid any suspicion. This only backfires in the long ring making you crave more from Hyunjin. He feels it too. The way the adrenaline rushed through him as he fucked you with his hand over your mouth. The act does very little to muffle your cries of pleasure. By the time you were finished he had the same dazed look in his eyes. From then on it almost became a game, seeing how far he could push his limits with you.  Sex with Hyunjin gets dirtier after each session, both of you egging each other on to do more and more. Less and less do you worry about someone coming in and catching you.Though neither one of you would be opposed to getting caught is what you discover soon enough.
The stress of another award show looming over the group has everyone on edge. It came to a head tonight, after hours of practice Hyune still can’t get a move quite right. After what was probably the thousandth time he’s texting you, telling you to meet him. 
He has you  pressed against the mirror, his touch harsh and bruising as fills you.He loves to watch where you’re joined, eyes flicking between where he’s grinding his cock into you and the way your eyes roll into the back of your head at the pleasure. Your hands barely keep you in place against the fogging mirror. With each hard thrust your hands slide further down the mirror, barely being held up by Hyunjin’s bruising grip.
The room is filled with a playlist, painstakingly curated by none other than Hyunjin. He’d briefly explained it to you in a conversation overshadowed by the countless orgasms he’d given you that night. He punctuated each beat with a timed thrust, all the while whispering the dirty lyrics into your ear just to watch your breath hitch. 
The only other sound in the room is the breathless moans and lewd smacks of where his hips meet yours. But on rare meetups Hyunjin likes to pull out his phone and film you. His mouth running unfiltered as he records the both of you.  
In his defense he can’t help the need to film your pussy in the mirror. Low curses falling from his lips as he watches the slick drip down your thighs. He pans to your face as you cum for the third time, zooming into the tears that leak from your eyes as you moan. The camera pans back over to his face as he gives you another hard thrust, the camera catching his own eyes fluttering at the way you tremble around him. 
“Look at you, watching yourself getting fucked. Bet it feels good, doesn’t it?” He taunts, knowing how worked up it makes you.
“Yes Jinnie! It’s so good,” you gasp out, hands still scrambling at the mirror. 
“I know, look at the way you’re gushing. We’re gonna have to mop the floors again…” he tsks, mockingly.
“Sorry Hyun- Hyunnie!!” you cry out, though at this point you're not entirely sure what you’re apologizing for. Hyunjin eyes your trembling form with a smirk, camera already panning back to your face for his next words. 
“Maybe I can have you clean it yourself? Won’t you be a good doll and lick up your mess, hmm?” he asks, becoming breathless himself at the image. 
You’re coming before he finishes, walls holding him in with a tight grip. Your tears are now running down the mirror as you slump against it. Any strength you had left is now gone as you shake through your release. The orgasm that rips through you leaves you to let out a silent scream. Hyunjin lets you ride it out, not entirely bothered by not getting his own release. Instead he focuses on filming your form slump further against the mirror. He knows you’ll get on your knees and help him out when you can think properly again. Part of him hopes you’ll consider his suggestion, letting him film it to add to his favorite collection.
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angelkissiies · 1 year
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hocky au! abby losing a game and taking her fustration out on you in the locker rooms😵‍💫😵‍💫 god i am SICK for this woman.
emotional
abby anderson x reader
cw : PORN ITS JUST PORN, literally two mins of plot in the entire thing, cunnilingus, mommy kink, public ish sex, dirty talk, dom!abby, reader being a tad crazy, literally so many things I can’t label rn im so tired, lower your expectations to zero rn, hockey!au, modern!au, college!au.
wc : 4.3k (I have no idea how this happened)
| anon thank you for the request, i really hope I did it some justice but this probably is super unreadable. I’ve been thinking abt this nonstop for the past three days, so I hope you enjoy! |
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Abby Anderson was not a sore loser, except on the off chance your school's rival team won, but that never happened. Other than the fact that it did, in the last few seconds too. They managed to get the last- and ultimately winning- goal, leading the school's undefeated streak to come to an end. In that scenario, she absolutely took the loss to heart, becoming the world's most frustrated girl as she practically threw her skates off and disappeared into the locker rooms. 
Her teammates didn’t even dare to venture inside, deciding that wearing their sweaty uniforms home was a better fate than fucking with an angry Abby. It wasn’t often they saw her like this, but when they did it was crucial to be as scarce as possible. Being the team captain was a hard job, but being a team captain whose win streak was just destroyed.. by the rival team... Not even they could imagine the outrage. 
“Abby?” You called down the hallway, arms filled with bags before you tossed them down by the doorway. It was weirdly silent, not a sound emitting from inside as you slowly pushed the door open. 
The room seemed pretty empty, except for the tale-tell signs of Abby’s presence. Her gym bag was wide open and clothes littered the floor around it, accompanied by her (incredibly too big) water bottle. She was here, just where was the question. 
You pushed in, letting the door swing closed with a ‘thwack’ against the frame, before glancing around the mostly darkened room. It was a pretty big place, seeing as the school had gotten a pretty massive check from some surgeon pertaining to the rink and all its little bits and bobs. A nice place, that was undeniable, seeing as all of the rivaling schools chose to visit instead of host. 
“Abigaillll..” You drew out, turning a corner to find it desolate, making a disappointed frown pull at your lips. If anyone was able to calm the girl, it was you, coming in the clutch on rough games and making sure she didn’t get expelled for threatening to harm her opponents (she tended to get a little too into the game, like, all the time.) How was a mystery to most, seeing as they’d seen her take down grown men on the ice. but her little girlfriend? different story. “Wh-,”
A hand cut you off as it cupped over your mouth, pushing you back until you landed back first into the endcap of the lockers. Thinking the worst, you attempted to bite at the massive hand, earning a dry chuckle from someone you knew a little too well. 
It was her, of course, it was her, who else would it be? 
Abby licked her lips gingerly, her usual crystalline eyes taking on a darker more steely blue as she peered down at you, hand slowly moving from your mouth to the curve of your neck. “Hi.” She hummed, not really paying attention to you as her gaze followed her hand- watching as it caressed the soft flesh of your throat. 
Heat rose in your cheeks, making you let out a small covering cough. “I’ve been looking for you.” You spoke, the soft graze of her nails against your skin catching you off guard enough to halt your sentence there, watching her face as she let her gaze fall to your chest.
“Oh yeah?” She asked, eyes flickering back up to meet your own, they were filled with something else now. 
You nodded, recognizing the heat in her touch after having spent so long memorizing her personal language- something only you could decipher. “Yeah, I wanted to, uh, check on you.” Mostly true, seeing as her friends were too scared to try. 
Abby raised an eyebrow, using a free hand to push her honey-toned waves over her shoulder. “Why wouldn’t I be? Just a game, right?” She stated, words sharp enough to kill as she moved an arm over your head, using it to hold her weight as she loomed over you. “No need to be so..-”
“Fuck it.” 
You would’ve fallen backward with the force of her kiss if she hadn’t carefully kept you placed firmly against the lockers- giving you little to no room to move. Not that you’d even consider it, seeing as the high her lips gave you was more than enough to keep you complacent with her will. She knew how easily she could rush this, how wet you’d get just from this small encounter, but she wanted needed to make this last. 
Abby panted lightly as she broke away, eyes cloudy with frustration and lust as she eyed you. Something about her energy had shifted, she no longer felt like the angry girl on the ice, but instead like a predator stalking its prey. She wanted you in the most primal way but her conscience was holding her back- not wanting to do anything you weren’t comfortable with. “Baby, look at me.” She rumbled, voice dark as she took in the look of your blushed cheeks and slightly parted lips. Something about you made her feral, wild, untamable. 
Your glossy eyes darted up to meet hers, almost making you gasp at how intimidating she looked. She towered over you, hair falling carelessly down her shoulders whilst she eyed you, not even to mention her face had taken on a tinge of red from the temperature of the locker rooms. You knew she didn’t have a bone in her body that could hurt you, but in the seconds leading up to your compliance, you would've let her if she wanted. 
“What is the safeword?” 
A pang of nerves shot through your stomach, glancing around the locker room before she moved a hand to your face- redirecting your gaze back to her. “B-but Abs, we can’t.” You managed, feeling the familiar warmth enter your panties as she forced your attention back onto her with a dry chuckle. 
“Safeword. Now.” 
Your tongue darted out to wet your lips, “Mercy.” You whispered, shifting your weight from foot to foot as you watched her carefully. The room was silent despite the ragged breaths that fell from your lips, adding to the anticipation that had begun to soak your cunt. 
“Atta girl.” Abby praised, pushing forward to capture your lips again, one hand coming around to linger at your waistband. Her lips were rougher this time, chapped from the chilly air, and desperate as they delved into a clash of teeth and drool. As much as she had begged herself to take her time, there was something inside of her that begged to be satisfied, it begged to be fed. 
You whined into her mouth as she bit at your bottom lip, arms moving to lock around her neck as she used her free hand to unbutton your jeans. “Abby..” You panted, pressing your thighs together as you felt her hand dip past your waistband. “We can’t, what.. what if someone sees?” You managed halfheartedly, not wanting to stop but knowing it was the best decision. 
Abby chuckled, nudging your thighs apart with her leg, giving her access to your heat. “Then let them.” Her fingers grazed over the soft cotton of your panties, feeling the wetness that had seeped through, before pressing into the little ball of nerves gently. It was enough to erect a strangled moan from your lips, urging her to continue her devious toying. She let her thick digits skim over the fabric covering your slit, just barely adding a bit of pressure to your swollen lips. 
“Fuck,” You hissed, legs naturally easing even wider before she crudely pulled her hand from your cunt, making you whimper from the loss of contact. You’d immediately begun to think of some way to chide her before you’d processed the loss of contact, seeing as she now sunk to her knees. Her hands were focused on ridding you of your jeans, lips swollen and parted as she gazed up at you. 
The sight made you groan aloud, her demanding yet desperate touch drove you insane as she eased the jeans down your legs until she finally got them off taking your panties with them in one swift movement. With a haphazard throw, you’d found yourself in just her oversized shirt that you’d stolen from her last night, trembling slightly under her electrifying touch. “Please, Abs.” You sighed, a hand moving to intertwine with her honey locks. 
She made a show of licking her lips, keeping her eyes on your own as she dipped down to lick a stripe up your soaked cunt, arousing a satisfied groan to leave her mouth. If there was one thing she prided herself on, it was her self-control, but as she looped an arm around your thigh- she’d swear she’d been lying to herself the entire time. 
Her shoulders pushed your legs open wider until you were practically thrown over her shoulders, barely able to hold yourself up without her. Chest heaving as you gripped her hair, head coming to rest upon the cool metal of the lockers behind you. 
Abby flattened her tongue against your hole, nose bumping your clit gently as she tasted the arousal you’d accumulated after only a few minutes of being within her grasp. She dragged her tongue against the hot skin, coming up to swirl around your clit before sucking the small bundle between her lips roughly.  
A sharp gasp left your mouth as you pulled at her hair, earning an amused noise from the girl. She knew how weak you got for her mouth, how easily she could unravel you without even really trying. Anytime she could, she’d use it to her advantage. “F-fuck, Abs.” You whimpered, feeling her tongue dip in between your folds to skim over your slit. 
“You taste so fucking good.” She groaned, mouth now covered in your juices as she pressed messy open-mouthed kisses to your clit. You hadn’t realized, but her hand had left your waist, now hanging by your thigh as she pulled back slightly to watch as you fell limp against the lockers. 
She barely hesitated as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, placing her free hand between your thighs, letting one thick digit slide in between your puffy lips before coming to a gentle stop above your slit. Her finger grazed over the hole, feeling as you attempted to clench around nothing. It brought a small smile to her lips as she glanced down at her sweatpants, biting the inside of her cheek lightly before letting her finger press into your cunt. 
You whined at the sensation, instinctually clenching around it as your cunt sucked her in, attempting to buck your hips to gain the pleasure you craved from her. It was to no avail, as she used her body weight to keep you from moving. Her thick finger came to a stop before curling to massage the spongy spot that lay inside your cunt that only she knew how to reach. A string of curses fell from your lips in response, followed by a messy combination of praise and hatred for the girl as she drew it out painfully long.
Abby moved her head down to press soft kisses to the flesh on your thigh, letting a second finger join her first to stretch your pulsating walls out wide enough for her to fuck you. She made a point to ignore the spells of complaints falling from your lips as she pushed her fingers deep into your cunt, forcing a choked moan to fall from your lips as she began fucking into you with her fingers. “Like that baby?” She snickered quietly, barely loud enough for you to hear before she brought her lips back up to your clit, giving it a swirl with her tongue before pulling it in between her lips with a harsh suck. 
You could’ve screamed from the explosion of pleasure coursing through your body as you writhed against the lockers, hands lost in her hair as you attempted to keep your composure. The way she knew your body was one you’d never experienced before, as she always seemed to know how to make you snap. Abby was the only person who’d ever been able to make you cum- despite her not being your first. She liked to joke about how shitty your exes were but in moments like this, you found it hard to disagree. 
She was ruthless in her pace, picking it up once she felt your legs begin to tremble under her unyielding sexual torment. Her mouth didn’t falter, continuing to lap up the slick that had begun seeping from your sensitive cunt. “You gonna cum for me, baby? You gonna let me taste you?” She hummed in the most venereal tone, tongue stuttering over your clit. 
The band that had wound in your stomach tightened, making you clench harshly around her fingers, urging her to continue. Your mouth was ajar now, a silent cry for the girl beneath you leaving your bruised lips. “Please, oh fuck. Please, Abby.” You chanted as if you were asking God for a miracle. 
God was a woman and she answered. 
Abby curled her fingers again, using her thumb to rub rough circles into your clit as she pulled back to watch you fall apart above her, only being able to keep yourself standing with her assistance. It was her favorite sight to see, one of you cum drunk as she fucked orgasms out of you like it was easy. She prided herself on being the only girl who could see you like this, the only girl who could make you so wet it was dripping down your thighs. “So fucking pretty, baby.” She groaned, licking the slick from her lips. 
You cried out, hips stuttering as you felt the band snapping, sending your eyes rolling back. A gush of liquid could be felt drenching Abby’s hand. It was like you’d been holding your breath, as you felt the air return to your lungs, followed by her fingers easing out of your now sore hole. She was so gentle, pressing a soft kiss to your inner thigh before pushing herself up off of her knees to hover before you, holding you up as your legs wobbled beneath you. 
“Abby,” You began, only to hear her shush you gently, pulling you into her as she allowed you to ride out the waves of your orgasm. You let your body fall to rest, moving your hands to rest on her hips. You ran your fingers over the hem of her gray sweatpants, letting yourself drown yourself in the feeling of her. 
“Got another in you?” She asked, breath caressing the shell of your ear as she hovered above you, hands itching to have you bent over the nearest surface. She’d been holding out originally, not wanting to cross a line by bringing the strap into it, but with the wetness that’d begun to pool in her boxers- she knew she couldn’t hold out much longer. She wanted to fuck you, have you bent over the nearest surface stretched out by her cock. She wanted to be joking when she asked you but the desperation had begun to creep into her words, pushing her subconscious’s agenda. 
You wanted to say no, still mortified by the idea of someone finding the two of you here but as you went to reply your body had already reacted, sending a dull ache right back to your core. With a small nod, you answered, only to be stopped by her strong grip on your jaw. 
“Answer me, pretty.” Abby said, forcing your hazy eyes to focus back on her, giving you a small peck on the edge of your lips. Her touch was forceful yet soft as she handled you, making you fall deeper into the pit that was her love. 
You stared back at her, pulling your lips in between your teeth before you could find the words. “Y-yes, yes. Please, Abs.” You mumbled, watching as her blushed lips pulled back in a smile, making you tilt your head in confusion. 
Abby let out a soft breath, moving to press her hips into yours. “Who?”
A pang of desperation shot straight to your cunt as you gazed up at the woman, feeling the firm bulge in her sweatpants and knowing exactly what she wanted. It was something that started as a joke during the earlier portions of your relationship but soon became something much more serious, something much more personal as time went on. You didn’t think she genuinely liked it until she’d practically begged you to use it more during sex. 
“Please, Mommy.” 
She groaned in appreciation, feeling her boxers begin to stick to her legs with the arousal that had begun to build up. “Good girl, c’mere.” Her hands were guiding you, pulling you away from the lockers and towards the counter that sat nestled in the corner. It was something she’d fantasized about more than once, fucking you senseless here- a place she’d always associated with you. “I need to be inside of you, baby. So fucking bad.”
You whined at the thought, allowing her to press you up against the counter as she nudged your legs apart with her knee. Things felt like they were moving so slowly as you pressed your cheek onto the cold metal, cunt clenching around nothing as you heard her click the straps of the harness firmly into place. “Use me, mommy. M’yours.” Your voice was airy as you spoke, making the woman behind you chuckle darkly. 
“That right?” Her hands settled on your hips, her sweatpants hanging around her thighs as she pushed them down just far enough to allow the strap to break free. The purple toy hung freely as she used a free hand to grip the base, rubbing the tip along your glistening folds. It took every ounce of self-control she had not to bury herself to the hilt in your sopping cunt, just the look of it was tempting her- not to mention the spout of pathetic noises that had begun to fall from your lips. She pushed the tip towards your hole, watching as it slowly began to sink into you, earning a satisfied noise to rumble in her chest. 
Your hips jerked slightly, the newfound depth being filled by eight inches of purple plastic deep inside of your heat. It was something that made every ounce of self-respect leave your body, craving nothing but the abuse she supplied to your aching walls. “Need you.” You gasped, feeling her cold hands come back to massage your hips. 
Abby felt a rush of adrenaline course through her veins making her jerk her hips back, pulling the strap almost completely from your cunt before snapping back- burying herself inside of you. “Yeah, you do. Don’t you, pretty?” She huffed, using your hips as leverage to fuck into you. It was as if something inside of her had snapped, throwing all care to the wind as her arms tensed making her fingers dig into the soft flesh of your hips. 
You gasped, fingers reaching for something to hold onto as she thrust. It was like being fucked dumb as your mouth opened but nothing legible came out, the sound of skin and plastic being drowned out by messy cries of pleasure as she looped an arm around to hook under your waist. She pulled you up off of the counter, pressing your back against her chest. 
She was breathless, the harsh change of pace sending her for a loop as she pressed chaste kisses to your exposed neck, stopping right above the neckline of your shirt- mentally kicking herself for not taking it off of you when she had the chance. “So dirty.” She tsked, moving a hand to your throat before giving it a gentle squeeze. She was so close to losing herself in the pleasure, having the bumper rubbing harshly against her clit, drawing sharp gasps from her lips as she felt the frustration from the day ease up into something she could only describe as ecstasy. 
Your stomach convulsed as she angled her hips up, abusing your core and making you let out the most embarrassingly loud moans in response, she knew exactly what she was doing. Today wasn’t any more about hockey than it was the parking ticket you’d managed to snag on the way here, it was about something that had been bubbling between the two of you for a bit now. Something that had managed to spill over into a place you’d never imagined getting your guts rearranged in. The fucking rink of all places. You made a mental note to thank the other team for winning. 
“Fuck, fuck.” You hissed as she dropped her hand down to rub harsh circles on your swollen clit, practically forcing your climax to approach. As much as she wanted to keep going like this all night, she knew the cleaner would be around in the next half-hour. That was not a report she’d like to have in her file, considering who paid for the building. 
Your mouth hung open, broken gasps and moans falling as you slacked underneath her- your body going limp as you felt a pulsing enter the walls of your cunt, an ache begging to be absolved as she rocked your hips onto the hard plastic. It always felt so sudden with her, never knowing how fast she’d be able to draw the band in your stomach to snap. “Mpfh, Abs- fuck, mommy.” 
Abby ground her hips into yours, chasing the same high she felt coming to the surface in you. Her pace stuttering momentarily as the sensitivity caught her off guard, making a whiny moan escape her lips. She felt the coil in her stomach set alight, making her thrusts rougher and deeper as her hips chased the ribbed bumper. “That’s right, baby. Mommy’s fucking got you.” She hummed, lips nearing your ear. 
A rush of heat coursed through your body, making your legs tremble as you stayed held against her body. Your stomach puffed and caved, spilling cum onto the purple plastic that invaded your sore hole, making your entire body wrack with sob-filled moans. 
Around the base was a ring of white that Abby ignored as she continued to fuck into you, feeling a similar ache rise in her cunt. She held your trembling body close as her ache turned into a burning that then began to fill her stomach. Her cunt clenched around nothing as she abused the sore nub. Her chest heaved with every thrust, drinking in every estranged moan she could pull from you as the soreness took over. She felt her hands begin to shake as her final thirst sent her over the edge, making her move a hand onto the counter to hold herself up. 
Her orgasm shot through her body, sending chills down her spine as she felt a gush of liquid soak through her boxers and onto the light material of her sweatpants. She gasped something heavenly in your ear as she did so, not loosening her grip for even a second, resting gently against your back as she recovered. 
“F-fuck, Abs.” You managed, body still trembling from the pressure against your womb. It wasn't often that she was so rough, so public. “What happened today?” 
It was almost a joke, though in some sense you really wanted to know, seeing as you were about to make her carry you to the car from how badly you were shaking. Could you drive like this? Who even knows? Though as she hesitated, you had almost begun to regret it- until she finally decided to speak. 
“Some guy on the co-ed team called me emotional.” She explained, gently coaxing the strap from inside of you- trying not to cause any more discomfort as she did so. Her hand held your hip in place, the other coming to unclasp the harness from her hips. 
You whimpered slightly at the feeling, following it up with a harsh scoff. If there was one thing Abby Anderson wasn’t, it was emotional. Probably just another man being fragile about a woman having feelings, per usual. “Who?” You asked, turning to face her now- seeing the product of your time spent. Her eyes were blown with easing lust, her face taking on a light pink hue. Her hair was now widely sticking to her face and poking up in random spots, making you giggle lightly as you used your hands to smooth them down to look halfway decent. 
“Terrance, I think that's what his last name was.” Abby recalled, placing the harness and strap on the counter next to you before leaning into your gentle touch. “No need to worry about it though, I'm over it.” 
You smiled at her, stepping up on your tippy toes to press a kiss to her chapped lips. “Oh, I'm not worried, honey. Not at all.” 
bonus !
Approximately two days later 
You walked down the courtyard towards the rink, having your earbuds in but not playing any music in hopes to avoid speaking to anyone on the way there. But as you passed a gaggle of girls sitting in the grass, you chose to slow down- having the urge to listen in to whatever they decided to gossip about today. 
“Hey, did you hear about Josh?” 
“Which josh?” 
“Josh Terrance, the one with the dentist dad.” 
“Oh, that one. No, what happened?” 
“Some crazy bitch slashed his tires last night, he doesn’t know who it was but they got three of them.” 
“Shit, that sucks. Kinda deserved it though, he's a douchebag.” 
A satisfied smirk pulled at your lips as you sped up to pass them, a new pep in your step as you made your way to tell Abby of the mysterious ‘crazy bitch’ that just so happened to slash Mr.Terrance’s tires. 
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Text
Comfort || Taken Care of
Based on this request
Series Masterlist
Fandom: The Last of Us (HBO)
Pairing: Joel Miller x Reader
Rating: 18+. Like extremely 18+. I’d make it 20+ if that was a thing. Serious filth.
Warnings: Chonky age gap (Joel: early 50s and Reader: early 20s), extremely naïve reader, praise kink, innocence kink, non con, face-fucking, oral sex (make receiving), name calling, daddy kink, slapping, mentions of past abuse, mentions of FEDRA school abuse, dacryphilia, moneyshot, dbf!Joel (as friendly as that grump can be). Joel is a lying liar and the creepiest creep. Proceed with extreme caution.
Word count: 1.8k words
Summary: You are as sheltered as can be in a world that has fallen apart. Realizing the errors of his ways, your father has his friend Joel take you outside the QZ to teach you how to survive in the real world. Unfortunately for you, Joel is interested in teaching you more than basic survival skills.
A/N: I finally understand all the AO3 writers who are like ‘sorry for the late upload. My husband died, I gave birth, I was called upon by the US army to stop an alien invasion, my roommate stole all my things and I’m homeless. But here’s chapter 43 of my fic’ cause I am really really going through it rn. I submitted my thesis, I am defending it in a couple hours, I have to move my things to a new place immediately, I have to go to work and yet I wrote this. Who knew writing the absolute filthiest porn could make a girl feel slightly better while being in a dumpster fire…
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“It’s okay, it’s okay…” he comforts you, his large hand cupping your face as he uses his thumb to wipe your tears. Shame he had to wipe them ‘cause they made you look so much prettier, got his cock so much harder.
“Oh, you poor thing,” he cooed as he unzipped his jeans. Life on the road was hard, especially for a sheltered girl like you. Your dad did everything he could to give you the best he could within the tall walls of the QZ. You knew no pain, no suffering, and definitely knew nothing of the outside world. So here he was, on your dad’s request, taking you out into the real world. The QZ could collapse anytime as QZs often did. So when it eventually did, your dad wanted to prepare you for a harder life.
Thankfully, Joel was a kind man. He held you at night when you were feeling cold, taught you how to hunt and carried your pack for you when you were feeling tired. He also comforted you when you felt lonely.
“Daddy…” you whined, too embarrassed to ask. Calling him Daddy always did the job too. You used to call him Joel, but it changed from when he started comforting you. He told you to call him Daddy, said it was more respectful, so you obeyed.
He never made you feel ashamed for wanting comfort, but something about it made you shy.
“Yes, pretty girl. What do you need?”
You put your hand on his lap and stroked him through his jeans though he was already unzipped and ready to give you the comfort you craved.
It started just a couple kilometers from the QZ. He found you sniffling in the corner of the abandoned building you’d both found shelter in for the night. He was so sweet about it too, asking you multiple times if it was okay for him to comfort you this way. He said your dad wouldn’t like it and that was true— your dad had coddled you too much and now he’d begun overcompensating for it. He yelled at you for crying, made you take up the worst shifts in the QZ and sent you off with his friend Joel— a man feared by all of the QZ— to go out and learn the world.
So you begged him to not tell your dad and put your mouth around his cock. From then, it was the only way you could find comfort.
“I need you to say it, darlin’… What do you want?”
“Please take care of me, daddy.”
“I’m taking care of ya already, aren’t I? Make you food, give you blankets, make sure the infected don’t get to ya… What do you want now?”
“Your cock. Please.”
He nodded and took himself out for you. He sat back on the rickety chair and placed a hand on your head, guiding you down to his cock. You took his tip first and sucked on it. He hissed, so maybe it hurt. But let you keep going. You opened your mouth wider and took him in, inch by inch. It hurt sometimes, but he reassured you that you will get better. You wanted to get better.
The taste was also strange. It needed getting used to. But now that you’d had his cock a few times, you were beginning to like it, to get used to it. It was salty from his sweat and it also tasted just like the skin on your arm. But there was something distinctly Joel about it.
“Just like that, darlin’. Good girl, aren’t you? Look so damn pretty like this,” he said, pushing you gently to take more of him. You gagged a little, but went on anyway. You looked up at him, wanting to smile at his compliment but too full of him to do so. More tears rolled down your cheeks at the compliment. He hummed at the sight and twitched inside you.
“Don’t forget to use your tongue,” he reminded and you felt embarrassed for forgetting already. You wanted to be good, wanted to learn everything he taught you quickly so you didn’t trouble him with the same thing twice. But here you were, having forgotten one of the important lessons already.
You did as you were told and moved your tongue along his cock, feeling his veins and ridges. He was hard, so hard but he was also smooth. He moaned as you did, making you shiver. It felt good to hear him moan, made you feel you were doing something right even though none of this was for his own benefit.
He did it just so he could make you feel better, feel less lonely. Sometimes you weren’t even crying when you got a craving for comfort again. You asked him on random nights to fall asleep with his cock in your mouth. It was becoming a kind of an addiction, like how your dad bought those pills from Joel to keep his nightmares out and now he couldn’t go without them.
You weren’t any help with other things either, even though you’d become a better shot and were more alert when it was your turn to keep watch. Suddenly, you were reminded of the time you missed a shot at a deer and made it run off, leaving both you and Joel hungry for days. You sobbed at the reminder, feeling the sharp sting on your cheek when he slapped you.
“Useless fucking whore!” He’d called you right after slapping you. You’d cried then and you cried again at the reminder, forcing yourself to take in the last of his length to prove to yourself that you would do better. He groaned and tightened his grip on your hair before pushing himself inside your mouth forcefully.
“Look so pretty like this, darlin’. Ain’t seen a prettier sight than my whore crying on my cock.” He said, pulling back before pushing into your mouth again. He hit the back of your throat and it hurt, god it hurt so bad. But he kept a firm grip on you, kept you in your place so you didn’t make mistakes again.
“Sorry, darlin’. Daddy’s gotta do this. ‘s too much,” he said, before grabbing your head in both hands. He hammered into you repeatedly, handling your face like it was something he hated. You didn’t know why, but that didn’t make you feel bad. It did the opposite.
You felt good. Like you weren’t a ‘useless fucking whore’ like he had said you were a few times. You were learning like he expected you to. The first time he did this, you forced him to stop and crouched over a bush and threw up the little food you’d eaten. It still hurt to be this way, but you were getting better. You didn’t have to throw up anymore.
He grunted and groaned, let out a few expletives that would’ve made you embarrassed if you were still back in the QZ. They were words you weren’t allowed to use back there. You’d come back from FEDRA school one day, using a bad word and it set him off. He slapped you, much like Joel would slap you later for missing the shot. When you did it again a couple of months later, he slapped you more times.
It was Joel then who came to your rescue. Promising your dad that you would behave better from now, he carried you off to his apartment and tended to your wounds.
“Ohh, of fuck. F-fuuuck… Mmm, such a pretty hole. Such a good hole for me,” he praised before pulling out of you. You inched closer to him, but he pulled you back by your hair, putting you back in place. You gasped softly when something warm hit your face. You tried to move away from it, away from him. It was wrong. How ungrateful did you have to be to jerk away from him like that when he was taking care of you.
“Fuckin’— fuck. Fuckin’ take it, bitch. Take my cum,” he struggled between pants as he continued doing— doing that. The warm sticky thing came out of his cock. You didn’t know what it was, didn’t know if he was okay. It had never happened before. You panicked and held on to his legs, afraid you did something wrong to cause this.
His jaw was clenched and his eyes were screwed shut. He grunted and moaned like he was in pain.
“Daddy…” you called for him gently. When he didn’t respond, you touched his thigh and began caressing it. Slowly, gently like he sometimes did to comfort you.
“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, afraid of what you’d done to him. He leaned back on his chair, his hand still in your hair. His breathing slowed down and his fingers massaged your scalp, making you feel good.
“Why’re you apologizing, pretty girl?” He asked, making you sigh in relief.
“I— I don’t— this,” you said, pointing to your face that held the white thing that came out of him. “And you looked like you were in pain.”
He chuckled and looked down at you, before cupping the cheek that didn’t have any of the white thing on it. “You really are so dumb.”
“I’m sorry, Daddy,” you blurted out, not even knowing what you’d done this time.
“I wasn’t in pain. I was feeling good.”
“Really?”
“Mhmm… I know your dad did a lot for ya; you’re his whole world. So it only matters to you when you feel good. But sometimes I need to feel good, too.”
“What makes you feel good?” You asked, desperate to learn, desperate to do for him what he did for you.
“It really helps to have a pretty girl. And you’re a pretty girl, ain’t you?”
“Yes, Daddy.”
“Good, good. ‘s long as ya know. Pretty girls like you, you have three holes. It’ll make a man feel good. Just like when I put my cock in your face hole to make you feel good.”
“M-my mouth?” You asked, looking up at him with curiosity. You’ve never heard of it being called that… It felt strange, but you weren’t going to protest. He knew best. Just as your dad told you before sending you out. Joel knows best. Do what he says, no objections.
“Yeah. This pretty mouth,” he said, brushing his thumb over your lips. “When I make you feel good with my cock, I feel good too. But only if you’re a good girl. Only if you do as I say. You did good today, darlin’. You thought of me too instead of being the selfish bitch you always are.”
You surged at the praise, happy that you’d finally learned. Finally did something good for him instead of taking and taking and taking like a selfish bitch.
“And I know you wanna learn. So keep being good like this, okay?”
You nodded.
“Keep being good and I’ll teach you about your other holes.”
“Thank you, Daddy…”
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cupid-styles · 4 months
Note
Can we pls get a period or sick blurb? Maybe for grumpy h? I miss them
yes!!!! (I have a sugar daddy h sick blurb too but I literally can't find it for the LIFE OF ME.........but it exists somewhere hahahahah)
word count: 900
content warnings: none! just period/blood mentions
read the original grumpy h series here
main masterlist | talk to me
. . .
Y/N seriously can't believe this is happening right now. 
On top of finals, grading an influx of drafts and papers for Professor Donnolly's class, and generally trying to survive the end of the semester, she excused herself from her TA lecture when she felt a slight cramping in her lower stomach. She wasn't due to get her period for another few days, but apparently, her body decided now was the right time for it to happen — so now she's panicking, sitting on a toilet in the single-use bathroom stall, cramping and bleeding.
She left her bag back in the lecture hall so she doesn't have a pad or tampon on hand, but that's not even the worst part — when she looks down at her underwear, there's a substantial blood stain that leaked through the seam of her jeans, too. 
With her heart thumping in her chest, she feels tears begin to prickle at the back of her eyes. She's being silly, she knows that; she's had her period for years, but with the position she's found herself in, she can't go back to her job, and her boyfriend is sitting back in the classroom, probably wondering why she's been gone for so long. 
She sniffles and grabs her phone from her pocket, quickly pulling up her text thread with Harry. It's embarrassing to have to explain the situation, but he's obviously the only person she trusts to go to. 
To: H🌷 
hey I got my period and I dont have any pads or anything w me rn would u hate me if I asked u to bring me one from my bag?
Glancing at the time, there's still an hour left of the lecture, so she's not sure if her request will even come to fruition. (When Donnolly has students do individual or group work, they're always swarming around Harry and asking him for help, but that's an entirely different situation.) Her leg is shaking nervously as she contemplates stuffing some of the single-ply toilet paper into her underwear, serving as a makeshift pad just until she can escape back to the bathroom with a tampon. She's just about to do it when she hears a knock at the door, followed by a hushed call of her name. Immediately, she recognizes it as Harry's voice.
"H?" she whispers. She hears a chuckle and her eyebrows furrow, confused by his lighthearted tone. 
"There's no one else in here, silly girl," he says, and she swears she can hear the smirk in his voice, "I brought you a pad and a tampon. I saw you had both in your bag."
"Oh. Okay, thank you, you can just slide them under the door."
Harry snorts. "You can open the door, baby. I'm not scared of your period."
"Yeah, but it's gross. And I'm sitting on the toilet."
"Didn't anyone tell you that having a period is natural?" 
She shrugs, contemplating. "No. I guess not."
"Open the door so I can give these to you, pretty girl."
She huffs and leans forward to undo the latch. Harry laughs at the scowl on her face and shakes his head, handing both the pad and tampon to her.
"I'll wait until you're done."
She nods, secretly grateful as how casual he's being, and locks the door again. She's quick to clean herself up as best as she can before putting a tampon in. After she gets rid of the trash, she walks out of the stall and washes her hands. 
"Y'okay?"
She glances at him through the bathroom mirror, where he's standing behind her with his arms crossed over his chest. He looks protective, as if he's ready to defend her from anything, even if it's her own anatomy. 
"I just have really bad cramps right now," she replies quietly, drying her hands with a paper towel. "I think I bled a little through my jeans too."
His face forms a pout, striding towards her to wrap her form in his arms. "Poor baby." 
He presses a kiss to the top of her head as she buries her face into his chest, reveling in the warmth of his body. Their hug is over far too soon for his taste and he chuckles lightly at the sulky look on her face. 
"This should be big enough to cover your cute little bum," he murmurs, pulling his sweatshirt up and over his torso. Her cheeks redden and he smirks as he helps tug it over her own form. "You need anything else? You can head back to mine if you wanna nap in my bed."
She shakes her head quickly, "No. I can't miss any more of the lecture."
"Baby, I'm sure it's fine. I'll tell Donnolly you're not feeling well."
"I'm on my period, it's not the flu."
Harry snickers and intertwines their fingers together, giving her hand a squeeze. "When did you get so sassy? Remember when you were my sweet, quiet girl?"
She rolls her eyes, "I still am."
"Sure you are," he smirks, "Seriously, though, will you please just go rest at my place? It's not a big deal and I know you like to nap when you're on your period."
She does, and she can't deny the fact that laying in Harry's cozy bed sounds pretty incredible right now. Reluctantly, she agrees, and he grins as he hands her his house key. 
"I'll come meet you when class is over, alright? I'll bring your bag and everything."
She wonders how she got so lucky with Harry.
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chronicbeans · 1 year
Text
Wally and a Puppeteer Reader (part 9)
Our sister is a bit of an upsetti spaghetti rn but she's trying her best.
TW: Mentions of Stalking, Obsessive Behavior, Idol Worshipping, Scopophobia/Eye Imagery
🎥 You knock on Angela's door, calling out "Angela... Can I talk to you? If you are too upset right now, I understand... But I am very concerned about something Henry said to me earlier..." Through the door, you hear her shout "Fine! But if you have that creepy puppet with you, leave it outside my room! Its eyes seem to stare into my soul... I can't see how you can stand working with it."
🎥 You step inside, seeing the muted brown walls of her room. Paintings of forests and corner side diners fill the walls, all of which were made by her deceased husband. She hasn't really been able to let him go, which you understand. They were very close. You sit on her bed, next to her. She's curled herself up into a ball, almost like she is trying to protect herself from danger.
🎥"I'm guessing the diary contains a lot of stuff about... him, right? You never really get this upset unless it has to do with Henry's dad. Last time I saw you like this was when the frame to one of his paintings cracked from falling off the wall." You watch as she nods. She sniffles her nose, before looking at you "Yeah. The page it was opened to was... well, the day he died. It was about the accident. I don't know why Henry would want to read about that! I have been trying to hide the specific details from him. He knows his dad passed away, but not how. I wrote about how in that entry... I just feel like he shouldn't know that much until he is a little older and can understand it a bit more, you know?"
🎥 You nod, trying to stay as comforting as possible. You don't really know how to help people out in situations like these, but you try your best. Right now, though, there is a pressing matter at hand. So, you quietly say "I understand... I know now is probably not the best time, but I feel like I have to ask this. Did you tell Henry about my job? Possibly about the letters I have been getting? You know, the ones from..." You trail off as she slowly shakes her head. "No, I haven't. I gave up on telling him the truth about that stupid puppet show after you kept stopping me. The letters shouldn't even be mentioned to him, in my opinion. A little kid shouldn't be burdened with the knowledge that a family member is being harassed and stalked! Why do you ask? Did he say something about it?"
🎥 You nod, before explaining what he said to you about Wally. About how Wally, according to Henry, spoke to him about you being a puppeteer and said things similar to the letters you have been getting. You finish it off by saying "I know it might sound a bit crazy, but look... I'm desperate for answers here. What if it's the puppet that's after me? You didn't tell Henry about any of that and I certainly didn't. I don't know, I might just be going crazy..."
🎥 Angela holds her hand up to stop you. Once you are quiet, she takes a shakey breath, then says "I HATE puppets... If you are right, this is something right outta my worst nightmare. I'm just going to roll with what you said, though, because it does seem very shady." She then looks down at her lap, before continuing "I mean, I do feel like I was a little harsh on Henry. He has never done anything like going through my room or reading my diary, before. It just doesn't seem like him to do that sorta thing. I should go say sorry. I'll talk to you in a little bit."
🎥 With that, Angela stands and leaves the room. You decide to go, too, and check on Wally. However, when you check where you left him, you find that he isn't there. A chill rushes up your spine as you walk around the house, searching for him. Eventually, however, you hear a little yelping noise, before some thumping by the kitchen. It sounds a bit like something falling...
🎥 You rush over, seeing that the basement door by the backdoor of the house is wide open. In the darkness of the basement, you hear a little "scuttle, scuttle" noise against the concrete floor. You flick on the lights and, at the bottom of the stairs, you see Wally lying flat on his face.
🎥 You slowly step downstairs, keeping your eyes locked on the puppet, before you find yourself at the bottom of the stairs. Angela and Henry are both still upstairs. You can tell because Henry is very loud when he is upset, so you can hear him crying from all the way down in the basement. So, someone must've brought Wally here, or if he IS alive, he must've walked down here on his own... Or fell... He does look like he fell down the stairs. His legs are all twisted, along with his arms...
🎥 You grab him, a bit harsher than you did the last few times you have grabbed him. Then, you march upstairs and place him on the couch. Then, you wrap him up in a blanket, tightly, as you say "Now, I don't know what is going on here... But you keep moving. Maybe that will help..." Then, you tie a knot tightly in the blanket, intending for it to keep him still. You don't have high hopes that it will, but at least it is something.
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catscidr · 2 months
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I think we have all seen the "Argenti thinks the Reader is Idrila" stuff on here. But what if the reader actually is Idrila? So I wanted to request Argenti/Idrila!Reader (gn or afab reader) headcanons or a oneshot where Idrila, who has taken on a mortal identity after [Insert tragic event here], and meets Argenti. They develop feelings for each other, Argenti finds out she is Idrila, they end up dating. (Maybe or maybe not in that specific order) I thought maybe after protecting her followers from Nanook she disappeared to ensure Nanook doesn't target them anymore? That part isn't as important so feel free to add whatever backstory you think fits^^ Thank you in advance, I really like your writing!
NONNIE omg im booting up star rail rn to stare at him lovingly. also i changed the scenario a smidge so reader is her own person while also being idrila? if that makes sense......?? yeah. also bc otherwise id be writing ten thousand words n i didnt want ur ask to grow dusty in my inbox d(;∀;d) but tysm for the prompt i couldn’t stop thinking about it ueue. also hey gang peep me trying to make my blog look more coherent n nicer looking. am i doin it ⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝ cw: a smidge of amnesia and soulmate trope (it’s not that bad, trust), fluff, love at first sight (does that even count in this scenario....), argenti and reader are dancing around the topic a lot bc argenti is a gentleman and doesn’t want to pressure her to talk. blurbs to set up the plot + a fic after them hehe. not proofread, writer’s block is killing me  includes: fem reader (he refers to reader as "my lady"), argenti, natasha, luocha is kinda there wc: 2,3k
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-ˋˏ You’d go to Natasha’s clinic at least once every other day because you always had the worst migraines. To the point where you almost got beat up by a Flamespawn one time when you were clearing out calyxes (thankfully there was a Silvermane guard patrolling the area, otherwise you would’ve been charred). The doctor always says the same thing; “Stop looking for fights so often”, “Let your body rest”, “I can’t prescribe you antibiotics”, and your favorite, “Stop slamming my door open I can’t do anything about your headaches”. She was a good friend, but whenever she repeated how she couldn’t be of any help to your predicament, you’d wish you could just take that glass vial hanging from her outfit and chuck it far, far away out of spite. 
-ˋˏ Obviously it wasn’t her fault- she'd done everything she could. Natasha even had you undergo the Underworld’s equivalent of an MRI scan because of how frequently you would visit her, insisting that something was wrong. The symptoms consisted of forgetting important things too often, feeling a foreign buzz in your limbs and brain, having a sudden burst of elemental energy come out of your attacks and a myriad of benign but annoying, irritating signs that something was up with you. 
-ˋˏ It became more of a chore than anything to leave your room. Some days you felt fine, but then when you’d go out again and beat up wave after wave of enemies in Caverns of Corrosion you would keel over, clutching your head while vague images of what could only be described as a fever dream ran through your mind. 
-ˋˏ You decided to leave the Underworld for some time- considering your absence like some sort of “vacation”. You heard of a wandering doctor (and merchant, apparently) by the name of Luocha and, from the people that crossed paths with him, it seemed like he was extraordinary at his job. A trek to the Xianzhou Luofu would be a long one, but after weighing your options you thought you’d give it a try (it was worth it if it meant you’d stop waking up at ungodly hours, holding your head in your hands while hoping, praying that the pain stops.) 
-ˋˏ You (somehow) made your way to the Xianzhou Luofu from Jarilo-VI. As competent as you were however, being stranded on a foreign planet with no map nor local to guide you was... a challenge. In retrospect, maybe you should’ve gotten in contact with that Luocha doctor and had him come to Belobog instead of you going to him since, well, he was a traveling merchant. Going from planet to planet is what he does (you assume). 
✧✧✧ 
If you had read up more on general information about the Luofu you would have been aware of how many enemies were roaming around the docking area. But you didn’t. So, unbeknownst to you, a rogue mara-struck soldier was on your tail, trying to sneak up to you to snag the goods you hid in your bag (which were basically just different types of painkillers and sustenance that bodes well on an upset stomach. He doesn’t know that though.) 
Your head was throbbing; ever since you set foot on the planet, your physical health had slowly dropped down to levels you wouldn’t be enduring if it wasn’t for the promise of a competent doctor once you get to the main city. Painkillers weren’t working, your feet hurt and to make matters worse, you felt the familiar lack of something in your head. It was so bad to the point where you had to have a tangible mark somewhere to remind you that you did, in fact, just take something for your headache and if you took two more painkillers, your body wouldn’t agree with your decision. It was a struggle even remembering what you did five minutes ago, no way were you going to be in top shape, beating up every enemy crossing your way. 
Clouds began covering the bright sun, casting shadows over the desolate, geometric area. You huff, irritated that, from the looks of it, you won’t be able to find a cozy place to set up camp. Though sleeping on a ground made of primarily iron and steel was considerably less nerve-wracking than sleeping on the mushy, cold, dirty ground of Jarilo-VI. So, with a pout aimed at no one in particular, you find some place that you deemed decent enough to set your humble tent. It wasn’t often that adventurers slept outside of safe zones, however with your condition you couldn’t afford to miss out on some rest and possibly get even more lost than you already are. 
You set your heavy backpack down, rolling your shoulders to soothe the ache in your muscles from carrying something so bulky. As you ruffle through your belongings, you open a bottled soda and take a swift gulp, sighing contentedly at the pleasant taste on your tongue. Now that you were sat and could rest your bones (until you started setting up your tent, at least), your ears were able to pick up on some not-so-distant footsteps. 
There’s no time for you to react; the mara-struck soldier that had been following you lunges at you, aiming for your bag. Your eyes widen and you open your mouth to yell, but before any sound can leave your mouth, a long, red and gold spear pierces the ground between you and the rabid man, making you yelp in surprise. You scurry as far back as you can in your current state; however, the soldier doesn’t have time to take advantage of your weakened stature. The owner of the spear lodges himself before your shaking figure and the mara-struck, yanking his spear out of the ground with impressive elegance, and summons an array of thorny vines to catch your assailant. 
It takes little to no effort for the seasoned fighter to take down the mara-struck as he swings his weapon, swiftly knocking the blunt end on the soldier’s plexus, knocking the wind out of him. A strangled scream leaves his throat as he scampers away, leaving your belongings safe with you and the strange red-haired man. He lowers his spear, careful to keep the sharp edge far from you, and turns around to face you properly. His brows raise a smidge for a split second before he composes himself and bows before you, the action short and curt.  
“It would have been a shame to lose a beauty such as yourself,” he says smoothly, straightening his back to look down at you with a warm smile. He stretches his hand out, a polite offer to help you stand up, as he continues speaking. “My name is Argenti, I belong to the Knights of Beauty. What might you be doing so far away from civilization, dear...?” he trails off, waiting for you to introduce yourself. 
You were in a state of shock, your mind still processing what had happened in such a short amount of time, that you failed to notice the lack of pain at the back of your head. As you meekly tell him your name, you hold onto his hand to help yourself up- as soon as his armored glove comes in contact with your hand something flashes in your mind; too quick to allow you to think about it too much, or to recognize what you saw for a millisecond. 
“So far away from civilization... do you know how to get to the city?” you ask as you feel a glimmer of hope spark in you. His words were refreshing, probably the best thing someone has ever said to you in the past month. He nods, reaching into his pocket to fish out a blue handkerchief embroidered with a delicate gold trim. Argenti hands it over to you and you gratefully take it, blotting the sweat and... dust off of your face. 
“I have made my way around the Luofu for long enough to show someone the way,” he says kindly. “Besides, even if I didn’t, I would still offer to accompany you through your trek. It is my duty as a Knight of Beauty, for I must uphold chivalry and distinguished manners, in the name of the Goddess guiding me.” His words resonate within you, making you beam, nodding in understanding. 
Your reaction doesn’t go unnoticed by the knight. As you hand his handkerchief back, he smiles at you and gestures to your bag. “What brings you so far from your homeworld, my lady?” Argenti asks gently, though a glimmer of doubt swirls in his sparkling, verdant eyes. The question makes you pause, a memory flashing in your mind too suddenly for you to know what it meant. Although, from what you could tell, you knew you could trust him with what troubled you somehow. 
“Ah, it’s a long story,” you start sheepishly, “I’ve been having these incredibly painful migraines recently. And sometimes I feel like my memory is fading too quickly for what would be considered normal,” you say, trailing off slightly at the end. “I’m looking for a healer, a doctor by the name of Luocha...?” 
Somehow, the doctor was currently the least of your worries. You’d never felt so refreshed before, at least not that you could remember; simply being in Argenti’s presence seemed to be enough to make your aches disappear like a starskiff smoothly gliding through a cloudless sky. 
“I’ve seen the man only a handful of times,” Argenti mutters aloud, pulling you out of your thoughts. “I can do my best to guide you to him, but if I may... you don’t seem to be injured?” the knight says, his voice trailing off into a questioning tone despite the observation. You shake your head, wondering how you should explain your predicament to the man. 
“Like I said, it’s a long story,” you say again, shrugging sheepishly. You wondered if you should even go into the nitty gritty- he could always just be making small talk to help you get comfortable or something. Sensing your unease, he changes the spotlight to him instead. 
“There’s no need to delve into details if you wish to keep them secret,” he says with a kind smile, bending down to take ahold of your hand- gently pressing a chaste kiss on the back of your hand. Red flushes your ears immediately, words caught in your throat at the sight of his hair cascading over his shoulders, a beautiful contrast from the gold and silver armor glittering in what was left of the sunlight. 
“As for myself, like I mentioned earlier, I am a Knight of Beauty. I’m on a quest to find my dear Goddess Idrila once more, for I need to pay my respects to them after they saved me from a particularly grim fate.” His words echoed in your mind, your brows knitting together as you felt what could only be described as a cold bucket of water being dunked on your head. “I-Idrila?” you parrot, your voice coming out as a choked noise. Argenti perks up, the hand that had been softly holding onto yours now holding it with a firmer grip, his other hand joining it. 
“Yes, Idrila. Have you ever heard of them? Or...” he trails off, looking deep into your eyes expectantly, almost as if he knew something you didn’t. His eyes seemed to suck you in, bringing a comfortable wave of warmth over you, making you yearn for something. 
“I...” you begin, your gaze falling down to look at your feet. As you thought long and hard about what you wanted to say, what you tried to remember, you slowly look over to his spear, lying flat on the ground- long forgotten since the fight earlier. As if a lightbulb went off above your head, you perk up just as he did, and look at him, beaming. The words were caught in your throat; there was so much you wanted to say, to declare, to do in this moment of clarity, but with how fast your mind was running to catch you up on the current events of your life it was a struggle. 
“Argenti,” you murmur, the name rolling off your tongue smoothly, as you realized seeing the traveling merchant was no longer required. Though the road might have been arduous, and you may have almost lost your mind in the process, being with Argenti suddenly made everything make sense. That’s why your migraines mysteriously disappeared as soon as you were in the knight’s presence, that’s why you had gaps in your memory, that’s why you were freakishly powerful... at convenient times.  
Everything clicked into place. 
The both of you share a pregnant pause, eyes locked together as the world seemed to come to a stop around you. If it were possible, you’re sure there would be delicate, silky rose petals floating around your figures, suspended in the air. You glance down at his lips, and for the first time, make a decision with a clear head. 
His lips felt smooth against yours, the faint taste of vanilla mixed with roses transferring to your own lips. The kiss almost felt like it could be the result of a symbiotic relationship; now that you had Argenti, or at least had him by your side once again, you didn’t think you’d be able to continue on without him. 
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obsessedelusional · 1 year
Text
religious trauma but make it gay
masterlist
paring ✦ Bella Ramsey x fem!Reader
summary ✦ Bella was your childhood best friend. The one person you felt like you could tell anything. So you do exactly that, coming out to them when you two were still young. Only for Bella to push you away. What happens when they show up at your work several years later?
word count ✦ 3,500ish
authors note ✦ I’m so in love with Bella Ramsey and there’s barely nothing out there. So I took it upon myself lmao hope y’all enjoy!!! Also I’ve never written for a real person so I hope this ok request for Bella open bc I’m a simp rn
COMMENTS AND REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!!
⊹ ꙳ ✦ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹
several years ago
“I think I’m gay.” You admit to your childhood best friend, Bella. The two of you sat in the school yard, parked under a tree.
“What?” She asks, forcing you to repeat the statement you’ve been trying to find the courage to say for months now.
“I think I like girls.” You further explain.
“That’s a sin. You can’t like girls.” Bella spits, bringing tears to you eyes.
“Bella-“ You say their name, letting the tears fall as they interrupt you.
“It’s a sickness, you can get help. My pastor will know exactly what to do.” She says, entirely seriously. Taking your hands in theirs, you quickly push them way. You can’t believe what your hearing.
“I don’t need help. I needed my friend to be there for me.” You stand up from the floor, overwhelmed by the entire situation.
“I don’t think-“ Bella hesitates.
“I don’t think we can be friends anymore.” Her words tremble like their unsure as they come out.
“I knew you were religious but this takes it to a whole another level.” You croak before leaving Bella sat alone under that tree. Part of you thought they’d come back, apologize to you after some time passed. That never happened, ten years of friendship over because of you opened your mouth about your sexuality. At the time you regretted saying anything at all, wishing you had just kept it bottled up inside.
The worst part was when their mother called a couple weeks after the incident basically outing you, offering your mother her pastors number. To your surprise your mom politely declined, she accepted you fully for who you were. It was a bit awkward at first at home but eventually everything went back to normal. That summer you attended your first Pride Parade and felt so seen that the coming school year you came out publicly. Considering the two of you were in the same grade you still saw them around, although never speaking to them again.
After a few years Bella landed her first huge roll in Game of Thrones, leaving your guys hometown behind. You didn’t have to see her face around anymore. Part of you happy for them but sad you couldn’t be in their life to support them. Only to remember they never supported you when you need them most.
present day
It had been several years since you came out, now living your most authentic life. Since then you had a few relationships, nothing too serious. Normally only lasting a few months before breaking up. You had graduated high school, started college shortly after. You got into the college you’d been dreaming of and the major you always imagined yourself as. Your college was a few hours from your home town so you occasionally saw people from there at your part time job. A couple days a week you were a barista at this cute little coffee shop right on the corner of the busiest street.
“What can I get you?” You ask blindly, going through the motions of a transaction.
“Y/N?” The voice on the other side of the counter asks, causing you to look up from the cash register. Looking up you’re greeted by the girl who you hadn’t seen since that depressing day. The day you lost your best friend.
“I can’t believe you work here.” They say, their voice warm.
“Yup.” You say flatly.
“What can I get you?” You ask, trying to quicken this interaction.
“The film I’m working on is filming just down the street for the next few weeks. I’ve been trying to find you for years, you have like no social media.” They admit, completely disregarding your attempt to not make small talk.
“Can I get you something?” You asks again, uninterested in what they have to say.
“Damn I deserve that.” They sigh before muttering off their order and paying. He walks over to the pick up area and you start making their drink. Every time you look up from your work they’re already staring. You can’t help but look too, they’ve changed so much. You’ve seen things about them online and people from your home town loved to talk about the girl who made it big. Always asking, “Didn’t you used to be friends with Bella?”
Once you’re done with their drink, you walk over to where they stand and set their drink down on the counter.
“Y/N wait.” They plead before you can turn your back to them. Against your better judgment you stop, briefly making eye contact. Saying nothing but signaling with your eyes to speak.
“I’m so sorry. I know what I did was shitty. I haven’t stopped thinking about that day since. While I’m still in town I’d like to apologize better like take you out or something so we can talk.” They explain, almost rambling their words.
“I understand if you don’t want to but here’s my phone number. Consider giving me a call or a text or anything, please.” They smile reassuringly pleading with you one last time, passing you a small folded up paper. They leave the coffee shop, drink in hand. You catch your self watching them leave, mind wandering on what you’re gonna do with their number.
Part of you wants to throw it away. An even bigger part of you wants to find out what would happened if you contacted Bella. Maybe their viewpoints have changed, it’s the least you can hope for. Against your better judgement you slip the small piece of paper in your phone case, deciding you’ll worry about it later. The rest of the work day is slow, painfully slow. Nothing to keep your mind distracted from thinking about Bella.
“I should be good, if you’re ready to take off.” Your coworker speaks, disrupting your spiraling thoughts.
“Okay,” is all you can say before rushing to clock out. Grabbing your belongings and thanking your coworker before leaving.
Once home you reach for the folded up piece of paper that’s been living in your phone case all day. You hesitate for a few moments before finally mustering up the courage to open it. All that is reads is their phone number, nothing else. You’re not sure how long your sat there staring at the piece of paper but eventually you decide to just shoot them a text.
you: hey it’s y/n
You don’t hear anything back that night. You stay up later then normal stressing about the entire situation. Imagining that it was all some elaborate set up, Bella’s sat up laughing at how stupid you could be to think that they’d want apologize.
The next morning arrives, your alarm goes off bright and early. You have a long day of classes ahead of you. You rush getting ready, picking out the most basic clothes you own. Not it the mood to try, exhausted from the lack of sleep from Bella’s sudden return to your life.
“Girl you good?” A girl you had always been friendly towards in your nine am class asks. You can never remember her name.
“It’s it that obvious?” You let out an exasperated laugh.
“No offense. Your just usually all dolled up and suddenly you look not dolled up. You just look tired.” She laughs.
“Dolled up?” You ask, curiously. For the first time truly noticing the girl who’s always sat near you.
“Yeah you always got them eye lashes and stuff. Not that you don’t look cute today, you always look cute.” They explain poorly. You can’t help but laugh at their way to describe makeup.
“Too tired this morning. Thanks I think?” You smile, she smiles back before the professor walks in and starts class. For a brief moment you forget about the lack of response from Bella. Too busy thinking about the attractive person who low-key just flirted with you. Only for that to be quickly forgotten when your phone vibrates from your pocket. You slyly pull it out laying it flat on your desk, where the professor can’t see. It is Bella, you catch yourself smiling at her name popping up. Stopping yourself immediately from having that type of reaction.
Bella: hey sorry I didn’t respond sooner super late work day only to wake up even earlier to work some more but I have tomorrow off so can we please get together
You decide you’ll respond but make them wait, not nearly as long as you waited. But you’ll stick it to them, make them wait till your out of class. The rest of the period is spent mentally drafting your response. Are you really after all these years ready to meet up with Bella? Maybe.
When class is over you shove all your belongings your bag, rushing to leave so you can send your text. Only to be stopped by that girl from before.
“What class do you have next?” She asks.
“Uhm,” You have to think about it for a moment too distracted by the phone burning a hole in your pocket.
“English in Butcher Hall at one.” You blurt out once you can remember. Normally you either go back to your dorm, grab lunch or study in the library. Today you had planned on going back to your dorm, knowing you weren’t going to be capable of studying.
“Dope. You wanna get lunch or something? I don’t have class till 1 too.” They explain, a smile on their face.
“Oof,” You say aloud, regrettably. The laugh almost as if they’re confused.
“I totally would but I got stuff I have to do before my next class.” You explain, sort of lying. Unsure why your lying just so you can hurriedly respond to Bella.
“That’s fine. Another time maybe?” She asks.
“Yeah.” You smile before walking off, back to your dorm room. They wave goodbye as you leave. When your out of their reach, you pull your phone out and type your message.
you: tomorrow works, I have one class in the morning. I’ll be done around noon. After that is ok
bella: sounds good wanna grab lunch at one?
you: yeah
Bella responds in a short time, sending you the address of a restaurant you never heard of before. You decide not respond anymore, deciding that any talking that needs to be done can be done tomorrow.
You had woken up early enough to actually get ready today. Or “dolled up” as the girl from your class would say. Thankfully you didn’t have that class with her today, knowing you couldn’t handle that along with all that is already going on.
After class, you walk quickly back to you dorm. Using the hour you have to dress cuter, fixing up your makeup. Mentally preparing yourself for the conversation that is about to be had. You pull up the address Bella gave you and it’s a cute little Italian restaurant. That’s always been your favorite, for long as you can remember. You wonder for a moment if they remember or if it’s just a coincidence. The drive is short, too nervous to listen to music. Letting your inner dialogue fill the silence. You park near the front door, looking down at the clock on your dash and you have a few minutes to spear. You phone goes off and it’s Bella.
bella: I’m here just let the hostess know your here to see me
All of a sudden it all starts to feel real. Your going to be having lunch with Bella after several years of no contact after coming out to them. It’s not too late to back out, you think for a moment. You have too though, you’ve made it this far. It’s a quick walk from your car to the door, you let yourself in. Greeted by a girl at the hostess desk.
“Hello!” The hostess beams.
“Hi I’m here to meet with Bella.” You explain.
“Right this way,” She smiles grabbing a menu and leading you towards the back of the restaurant where it’s more secluded. Pass the view of the back of the hostess head you can see Bella sat, scrolling through their phone. The sight of them biting their nails, puts some of your worries at ease. Knowing that they’re just as nervous makes this a little easier. Bella looks up from their phone, smiling brightly at you when they notice you.
“You still like Italian?” They ask.
“Yeah I do.” You smile because they remembered.
“I’m so glad you actually showed up.” Bella says examining you.
“After what I did I always thought you’d want nothing to do with me forever.” They explain, you quickly notice them fiddling with the table cloth.
“I’m so sorry.” They say now with a bit of sadness to their voice. Your not entirely ready to forget what happened but the sight of them is tempting you to forgive them on the spot.
“You know you haven’t grown much?” You tease as an attempt to lighten the situation.
“What?” They ask confused.
“You’ve always been so short and that hasn’t changed. You’ve cut all your hair off, I like it.” You let out an awkward laugh.
“We’ll when everyone is old and looks old I’ll still look young.” They laugh, you can tell they’re finally beginning to relax.
“Plus in my line of work it’s a plus. I can continue to play younger roles as I age.” They explain. Which leads to you asking them what they’re in town filming for. The conversation begins to flow smoothly, smiles never leaving either of your faces. You two order and wait for the food to come over. When the conversation eventually lulls, Bella’s face is screaming like she has something she wants to say but can’t get it out. You eyes dart to their fingers that anxiously fidget with the utensils in from of them.
“It’s okay,” You reassure them resting your hand on theirs. You feel them relax under your touch.
“I’m gay.” They spit out.
“Really?” You ask.
“Which is why I reacted the way I did when you told me. I’ve always had feelings for… women. I was raised to believe that it was wrong. I struggled internalized homophobia for years only recently coming to terms with my sexuality. I was so scared at the time.” Bella admits, your hand still rests on theirs. They look to you like they’re waiting for a response.
“I forgive you.” You respond.
“I would of done this sooner. Your just not the easiest person to find.”
“It’s fine Bella. Just promise we’ll stay in touch now, okay?”
“I promise.”
They did exactly that. For the rest of their time in town, when ever your schedules aligned you two we’re together. Or they would find any excuse to leave set and stop by for a quick visit when you were working. Getting to know each other all over again, you couldn’t help it forming a crush on them. They made you so happy, the most comfortable you felt around someone in forever. You finally got your Bella back.
Only for her to have to leave you after a few weeks. Her film was moving locations so they’d be several hours away. It was only for a month but you were so torn up about it. They had promised as soon as that month was over, they’d be back in your home town and visiting you as much as possible.
It was a bit awkward when that girl form your class kept making the moves on you. One day your finally let them down gently. It was entirely because of the slight chance with Bella you thought you might have.
You finally got your Bella back only to have separate again. This time though, you were friends. That month was spent on face time calls when ever you got the chance. Always waking up to good morning texts and not going to sleep until you two had a chance to talk on the phone. You can’t remember the last time you had smiled so much. Always checking you phone, biggest smile on your lips. All because of Bella.
one month later
“I missed you.” Bella says, wrapping you in a hug. Their head resting in your shoulder, breathing in your aroma.
“I missed you, more.” You tease. You feel them laugh in your embrace before pulling away.
“I may have got me an air bnb for a week or so.”
“Really? I thought this was just a weekend kind of thing.” You say, biting your lip trying your best not to smile too hard. Originally you couldn’t help but be upset when Bella flight was delayed, their 10 am arrival turned into 5 pm. You had thought half your time with them was wasted.
“We’ll you were wrong.”
“I’m glad.” You laugh, following them to your car. Helping them load their luggage. Bella pulls up her maps app and types in the location of the air bnb. You drive, listening to Bella talk about everything that had happened in the last month of filming.
“You’re so cute when you talk about your job.” You respond, letting the word cute slip out.
“What do you mean?” They ask.
“You’re cute. Do I really need to elaborate?”
“I guess not.” They smile. The rest of the car ride is filled with a comfortable silence.
Eventually you two arrive at their temporary home for the week or so. You help Bella unload and follow them to the door, watching as they unlock the lock box that has the house key inside. They open the door for you, you walk inside.
“Wow this place is so nice.” You awe at the beauty of the living room.
“You think this is nice? Come look at the back yard.” Bella leads you to the back yard, it’s so beautiful. Plants everywhere and jacuzzi, wishing suddenly you had brought a swim suit.
“Wow.” You say aloud, noticing the large hanging chair. Big enough for multiple people. It hangs over the deck, with the perfect view of the nature behind the house. Without hesitation you climb into the hanging chair, Bella watches you amused. You let out a screech when it move from your weight. Eventually you fall on your back, looking up at the stars. Bella continues to watch you, enjoying the view of you enjoying yourself.
“Are you not going to join me?” You speak up.
“I guess so.” You laugh at their attempt to climb up, their attempt causing it to swing and sends Bella landing closer to you than they had originally intended. When you didn’t pull away, they didn’t either. The two of you, sit in silence staring up at the starry sky. Eventually Bella is the one to break the silence.
“Can I be honest with you?”
“Of course.” You respond, sitting up on your elbows so you can see them better. They begin speaking, not daring to look at you.
“I said I knew Ialways had feelings for women. Like I always knew I liked women. The truth is I had feelings for you. When you said you were gay, I freaked out because my feelings for you could of become a reality. I think that’s the real reason I pushed you away. I knew I couldn’t be in your life as just a friend but also that I wasn’t ready to be out. I don’t if that makes sense and know I’m rambling. I’m sorry.” Bella finally gains the courage to look at you after their words.
“It’s okay.” You smile, biting you lip. Thinking this is the moment you’ve been waiting for.
“So you’re not mad at me?” Bella asks.
“Not at all. The real question though, are those feelings still there?” You ask, curiously. Your tone a little flirty.
“They’ve always been there. Bumping into you only reignited them. Then you actually said yes to meeting up with me, I couldn’t believe it. I still don’t believe it.”
“Believe it.” You laugh before closing the space between you two. Letting your lips kiss Bella’s for the first time. It takes them a moment to fully register what’s happening, shortly kissing you back. Their hands reach for your head pulling you in closer. You’re the one to pull away, needing to catch your breath. That only lasts a few moments before they’re the one initiate the second kiss. The two of you spend a few hours on the hanging chair. Kissing, laughing and talking about anything and everything. Only going inside because it began to rain. That night you guys stayed up so late, some time around 3am Bella asked you to be their girlfriend. You said yes.
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wachtelspinat · 4 months
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Hey ! I’ve been seeing your art going around since your midnight crew stuff and I just recently stubble across your tumblr, thank to your beautiful overwatch art for our beloveds junkers ! I’ve been scrolling through your account and read about your experience of being a former graphic designer who is a doctor now. And damn. I can’t emphasize how much I admire you, especially as someone who is struggling really hard to choose between 2 careers paths ( with one of them being art related ). This is why I was wondering if you would be open to talk about how and why you switched from art to medecine ? Especially because most of the time I feel it happens more the other way around ? ( If it’s too personal just ignore this ask + sorry if you already talked about it before )
hey ! no worries, i don't expect ppl to scroll through my tumblr to find an answer for a question they might have. first of all thanks for your nice words, means a lot <3
i switched from art to medicine because my early 20-something-self was even more anxiety-ridden than my present-self, and being in art school and having to "perform" regularly was a nightmare. i'm talking about a time in which i was so scared of being perceived that i often skipped grocery shopping, just so i could avoid being around people. so like, pitching art related projects to peers and profs was eeh... especially because art is so personal oh my god. i still hate it when someone tries to sneak a peek while i'm drawing, makes me wanna throw my sketchbook and myself off the bridge. anyways so i always felt a 110% inadequate (plus i got a gf during that time who was so good to me and tried to get me out of my funk on multiple occasions (she was and still is an artist and has now a career as a freelancer and i'm rly proud of her) but i couldn't see that because i just compared the two of us all the time and sabotaged any attempt she made for having fun with drawing with her) that i sat down at some point and asked myself if i could do this any longer, and i came to the conclusion that no, it really kills me rn.
what made me go into the health sector? i don't even know anymore, i think it was a mixture of "i loved biology, esp. the human body in school" and "my mum is an icu nurse and talks a lot about hospitals, maybe i should check it out"... it was not a well thought through decision, which is so funny because studying medicine was a hell of a meatgrinder ride (also my anxiety and self hatred? still there, but now i wasn't judged anymore because of my art but instead being called a dumb idiot collectively with all the other students because nobody likes med students) and for some reason i was able to get through that despite it not being my passion at all, but i couldn't stand up for myself in art school. i don't even know if i could work through it nowadays, but the good thing is i don't have to ask myself this question anymore, because being a doctor pays the bills, and ever since i left art school i was able to just draw without consequence. which is nice to a degree, my artistic output is not tied to the means of generating money. on the other hand... idk, in another life with more confidence and less worries, i'd love to be some sort of character designer T_T
so yeah that's basically it. at some times i cherished my career decisions, at other times i regretted them deeply, worst thing is i know it has a lot to do with personality, but the fact that we can't change who we are with a blink of an eye gives me the framework to think that the path i took was ok. as in. things happened for a reason and maybe i'm just not cut out for that kind of work. you have to be aware of the conditions of a job to decide if you are up for it. because being an artist doesn't end with "just draw". i myself had an unrealistic view of the job back then too. and the fact that i could not seperate between personal aspects and "doing a job here" was crucial.
yeah, idk if this is helpful at all. i think the one thing that is super important here is to have a realistic view on the conditions of work you are about to head into, and i know this is mostly very difficult to aquire. because unless you really work in a sector there is often no way to fully grasp the situations you can find yourself in (this applied for me also in the health sector, which made me fall into a depression a year ago, but what do you do after you spent 6 years of studying :') ). doing internships and just trying to get to know a lot of things really helps. and - idk how old you are, but if you're really young: it's ok to switch careers at some point. it's even ok to do so when you are older (trying to end on a positive note here because it feels like i just said a lot of depressing things... like don't get me wrong i like my job, the conditions are just fucked up, and again my personality prevents me from switching again but it's also not that easy in germany, BUT it's a valid thing to do, being versatile is good! just... make sure you don't end up with a job that you absolutely hate because that kills it all)
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