One of the most memorable interactions was Saturday. Into our booth strolls a small family, tempted by free samples of freshly brewed tea. We chatter and give them the spiel, that the tea is character merch and we’re a cozy health-based app called Forage Friends.
The young girl zeroes in on our pride pins.
“They have my pin!” She says excitedly. “They have my flag!”
The dad blinks. He is surprised, but also calm and positive when he sees it’s the lesbian flag. “Oh. That’s… different from what you told me.”
“That was months ago, dad.” And she rolls her eyes. Definitely a teenager.
I turn to him and say, “Yeah, dad.” And we share a little laugh about it.
He says, “No, it’s great. That’s amazing, honey. It was just news to me.”
“Well, I guess I just decided to stop lying to myself. About liking guys. Like right now.”
A little lesbian just came out to her dad and he was super cool about it.
I’m standing there in my tie-dye mask and my cheery blue apron pouring tea and making small talk and I’m trying really hard not to cry or compare it to my experience, the fire & brimstone, the disgust, the conditional acceptance as long as I never bring it up.
So as this beautiful bonding is going on, the girl’s even younger brother turns his gaze around. He’s in a snorlax hoodie and bored and wants to go look at the swords across the hall. But on the other side of our booth….
“WHY DO PEOPLE DRAW THAT?” He asks loudly, and we all turn to our neighboring booth.
Our neighbors were extremely lovely people. Every time we had a break we would talk, and we became good friends over the weekend. They kept apologizing that their booth was next to ours and we kept repeating that it was totally fine. Their booth was great. I even bought their merchandise.
The thing that was so contentious, that they felt the need to apologize for, was that they were selling explicit titty hentai stickers of popular characters. They were censored with little yellow R18 labels but the content was very clear.
So back to the family: I freeze and immediately go somewhere else to let dad handle this question. With adult customers I’ve been loud and positive about our neighbors. (“Man, how has it been boothing next to them?” It’s been great! They bring a lot of foot traffic and they’re kind and wonderful professional neighbors. If anything it’s a fun juxtaposition. We believe in artistic freedom. I bought a sticker too!)
But this is a kid, it’s not my place to explain anything…. But I was extremely curious about what this chill dad would say.
“Well,” dad says with a long measured silence between each word. “Sometimes people are horny.”
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pervert könig headcannons... ၄၃
tw/cw; perv!könig, thigh fucking, pussy job, panty stealing & huffing, afab!f!reader.
pervert-könig has the irresistible urge to steal your underwear for his own use and benefit, despite promising that he won't soil and ruin a pair of your panties. he feels sick to his stomach afterwards for breaking his promise, riddled with guilt as he hides your freshly bought lace panties in his bedside table for another day
“god, are you trying to tease me, mäusi? you’re wearing such a tiny skirt. so skimpy, what are you trying to do, hm?”
könig scoffs and rolls his eyes playfully. he places the blame on you for riling him up, despite you wearing something completely appropriate and normal for a hot, summer day. he doesn't like to admit that he's a pervert, so instead he claims that he's only reacting like this because of you! wearing a new sundress outside in august? you're just asking to get fucked, liebling.
könig will plead with you for some attention and for you to stop neglecting his very visible and obvious boner. while you're cleaning the countertops in the kitchen, könig will press his hard, clothed cock against your back and will act oblivious when you call him out. he's not doing anything wrong, dear, perhaps you're the pervert! although, you see right past könig's lies and offer him a blowjob if he stops whining and complaining that you're not giving him your sweet, soothing, and addictive touch.
könig will use your cunt or thighs every single night before bed, with the only rule being that he isn't allowed to slide inside. you couldn't have sex with him everyday. well, you could, if you were looking to be impaled and in agony every damn day... instead, könig will thrust his meaty dick back and forth while cursing you out for being so ‘seductive’, even if you've done nothing but sit there and look pretty for him. he huffs and puffs, his breathing laborious with his huge cock aching and weeping all over your soft thighs.
“god, just a little longer, mein hase—ohh, fuck, that’s it, pretty one...”
in the morning, he'll beg to use your pussy before going in the shower, or will sneak into the shower with you to lift you up into his arms and fuck you against the shower wall. he rubs his bulbous, hung dick between your folds until you're soaked with your arousal and slick, easy for könig to rut against. don't worry, he cleans you up with his tongue before jerking off into your mouth.
you're going in the shower anyway, might as well get it all out of his system to start the day, ja?
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kento nanami would be so soft, his voice gentle and smooth as he praised you, lips pressing against the column of your neck and jaw. strong hands resting on your hips, occasionally squeezing as he encouraged you.
"does that feel good, darling?" you nodded your head, eyes screwed shut and lower lip between your teeth. nanami hummed a soothing sound deep within his chest. he drews back slightly, gaze falling to the spot between your legs.
you were making such a mess on his thigh, the fabric getting darker as you dragged yourself up and down. the material of his dress slacks didn't make for the best friction, but it felt so smooth. the slick dripping from your hole only added to the easy glide of your body.
"kento, w-wanna cum." your forehead fell to his shoulder, hips moving faster and more desperate, mouth open as you panted.
nanami couldn't deny just how much you affected him, how much his cock ached from watching you chase your orgasm on his leg. the way your face scrunched in pleasure when your clit pressed against him just right, the way your breath hitched when his hand covered one of your breasts, the way your body was so warm and soft — it drove him mad. he would be satisfied making you feel good, never once asking for pleasure in return, as long as you gave him those reactions.
"i know, baby," he pressed a kiss to your temple, his palm resting on your leg so his thumb could rub at your sensitive clit. your fists gripped at his shirt, the material wrinkling under your touch, as you tried to ground yourself, orgasm building inside your stomach.
his sweet praise whispered in your ear is what pushed you over the edge, your thighs shaking from the intensity. the euphoric feeling spread through your veins like molasses, sticky and slow, drawn out.
as you catch your breath, body relaxing against his own strong frame, nanami held you through it. he wouldn't trade this for anything.
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"i ain't takin' a fuckin' bath."
katsuki's half-undressed, standing in the kitchen with the fridge doors wide open; shirtless, shoulders broad and muscles round and taut, cool air raising goosebumps across his exposed skin. his un-buttoned tac pants are dangerously low on his hips, so low that you wonder—while staring at the dimples of his back—if he's doing it on purpose.
the dewy sheen of sweat he'd come home with has gone matte, leaving him in a thin, sticky, grimy layer that is grimace-inducing to feel. like most nights, dirt and soot and even blood—grown dark and less worrisome with time—color him haphazardly, strewn across his body; a mosaic of dynamight, made by his own hands.
"but you stink," you fail to suppress a smile when he snaps his head around, to fix you with an ugly look that you return. he manages to hide his own amusement in the bulge of his bicep. "i'm serious! a bath will help you relax!"
turning back to the open fridge, he grumbles, "i am relaxed," in a tone that doesn't sound relaxed. at all.
"come on," you urge, shuffling up to him, wrapping your arms around his waist despite all his dried grease and muck. "you go first and i'll be there in a minute."
that catches his attention enough that he finally closes the doors, facing you as he runs a lazy hand over his stomach. to his credit, he does look a bit more relaxed than he had when he'd come through the door—but the set of his jaw is still too stern, brow only ever furrowed, a little more argumentative than usual, even if it's harmless.
katsuki seems to consider your unspoken proposition, before finally surrendering with a roll of his eyes. "fine, but i'm takin' a shower like a grown ass man."
"no!" you groan, latching onto his arm when he moves to step around you. you try to dig your heels into the ground, but you're in the kitchen in socks, and katsuki only yanks you after him with a wicked grin. "bath! a bath will help you relax, i mean it! i've got lavender oils!"
"i ain't using' your frilly shit!"
he finally slips from you when you sputter out a laugh, tugging free from your grip before throwing you a look that is hot in more ways than one. innocent as you aimed to be, something tightens in your stomach; awakened at the sight of him.
you warn, "i'm only coming if you're in the bath!" and his loud, exaggerated groan echoes nearly throughout your entire house, swallowing up your chirpy laugh.
—but, much to your surprise, he listens.
you let him soak for a good five minutes before following after, and when you find him, he's got his head leaned back over the edge, elbows resting on either side of the tub, legs bent and knees sticking up out of the water. handsome as ever, you think, a little dreamy, before the marble of him shifts at your arrival.
he only opens one eye, and you can see already the tension has drained from his face; half-asleep, a little bloodshot and breathing too even to convince you otherwise.
"well, well, well," you murmur, lowering to the floor on your knees after his eye slips shut again. "look at you, princess."
katsuki makes a haughty noise of irritation, but doesn't bite back: a dead giveaway of his exhaustion. instead his hand finds the material of your shirt, tugging on it lightly before he slurs out, "get y'r ass in the tub."
you'd bite his fingers if they weren't still disgusting, but you place a teeny kiss on the cleanest spot you can see on his wrist. "i don't need a bath, but thanks."
"hah?" he grunts, eye shooting open again as he frowns at you. when you only smile coyly at him, he raises his head and glares at you properly. "y'dirty liar, you said—"
"i said i'd be right behind you," you grin. "not that i'd be getting in."
the water sloshes up against the sides as he straightens his posture, baring his teeth at you as he prepares, you think, to lunge out and haul you in with him despite a screaming protest—but you reach forward just before he can, dipping a hand down into the warmth right between his thighs.
katsuki jumps, seriously, leg kicking out so hard that his heel slams into the edge of the tub, when you gently hold him where he's soft. "jesus!" he all but yelps, eyes going a little wide as he realizes what you've done. what you've made of him.
he's still—marble-still—air sucking in sharply between his parted, frozen lips as you touch him, and heat pools so obviously, so suddenly, in his cheeks, sweet enough that you want to bite into the apples of them. in your hand he swells thick, quickly, a little slippery from the soap he's already added to the water.
all his tension returns, as a different strain; katsuki swallows, hard, as his eyes dart back and forth between your own and where your hand disappears into the water; when you gently rub your thumb back and forth across the tip of him, his back straightens, even moreso, and, you don't think he knows it, but his legs part even further.
an invitation if you'd ever seen one.
he finally comes back to life when you lean in close enough to nudge your nose to his, just to see him blink.
he's so cute, you want to eat him alive.
"the f-fuck are y'doin'?" he whispers, eyes dropping back down as you stroke him lightly, just enough to coil him tighter. at the end of the tub, water sloshes quietly from the movement, and katsuki's ears burn.
you've caught him entirely off guard, and if it wasn't clear before, it becomes crystalline when you kiss him, deeply. he's lazy to reciprocate, breathing softly, open-mouthed, as you press a soft kiss to his top lip and then to his bottom, whispering his name back to him just to hear his sharp inhale.
you time a clever stroke of your wrist with the firm press of your mouth to his, insistent and fast, urging the wildness of him to catch up, to come out. it hits him all at once—your desire, his own, the heat of it all—and his hand shoots out of the water to grip the back of your neck, a deep groan slipping from his chest as his cock kicks in your hand.
you try more than once to pull back from him with a sneaky little laugh, but his fingers tangle in your hair and he kisses your teeth and you think, maybe, you're not teasing him enough. his knees knock lightly against the ceramic as he tries to spread them, even further, and his hips shift up with every slick pump of your fist, urgent and eager.
he speaks, furiously, against your lips, when you snatch your hand away, instead teasing your fingers along the inside of his thigh. "get—in th'fuckin' tub." his shoulders tremble, ever so slightly. "i ain't askin' again."
you laugh against him and his nostrils flare. "you didn't ask at all!"
"so quit your bullshit already."
you lick his bottom lip, nipping at the fat of it gently before weaving your own hand into his damp hair. "no," you tease, like a brat, but when you tug enough at the strands, he gets the hint and allows you to pull away. "i'm trying to help you relax, you know?"
katsuki doesn't respond at first, only huffing out a frustrated sound when you wrap your hand around his length again. his face is steaming, despite how firm he's trying to be; your own desire strikes hot when his head tips back just slightly, jaw straining as he grits his teeth.
"no," he finally grunts, eyes dark and pinned to you. "'s'the last thing i feel, is-is relaxed."
"hmm," you make a point to frown and look away, like you're thinking, but katsuki's impatience wins out and he drags you back in for a shuddering kiss. he's fervent, now, nipping at your lip and brushing his tongue against your own eagerly, trying to muffle a painful sound against your cheek. "that's too bad," you tell him—but you don't think he hears you, really, over his low curse and the returning slosh of water against the tub.
but when you ask him again, only a handful of minutes later—his boneless answer is precisely what you were looking for.
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