#it’s 4am someone stop me

[winters-rose-daughterofcain]

"If you need to be mean be mean to me."

Because if that isn't Lottie Fucking Matthews in a sentence I don't know what is. In her eyes she is a vessel. A vessel for dreams and promises and prophecies, for guidance and hope and survival. She is not a full person she is the medium she is the method. The crown is a wood woven chain, a reminder of how much good her sacrifice can achieve. All she wants is love, companionship, understanding. To be listened to, to be believed, to be cared for. Yet all she knows how to do is care. She will cut herself to ribbons and twist the truth around and around until it comes out palatable, until it comes out as a command as something doable instead of pure unattainable inevitability.

Because nothing is never enough, for the world, for those around her, for the ones she loves, for herself. It will never be enough, pain in the end, will forever be simple pain. But better her pain than someone else's. Because pain may be pain and sacrifice may never be enough, but even something momentary, even care on borrowed time is better than none at all. Because if you need to be mean be mean to her, she can take, she's had practise. She can take it on, free you off it. As she frees all the others, the ones who listen to her, who admire, who care, of the true, heavy weight of it. But it can't last forever, nothing lasts forever. On some level, some deep, unacknowledged level she knows this. She knows where the line is, when it's gone too far, when it's time to pass this burden along, and she does so to the one person who simultaneously understands her more then anyone and one who understands her the least.

To the person who never asked be have anyones anger directed their way, but to the person who takes it time and time again. To the person who keeps them alive by sustenance while she keeps them alive by hope. The the only person who could carry that weight, who could understand the cruelty that comes with it, who has never known love or care or tenderness, let alone admiration or reverence, to the person who hungers for it just as much as she dose. To the person who never truly believed her, never placed her higher, never gave her anywhere to fall from. The one who gave her a soft landing. To the one who understands, to the one who never will, to the one who's anger she has always taken the brunt off in her attempts to shield and love and be understood by the others.

"If you need to be mean be mean to me." Because how are you going to let me stay?

#yellowjackets #character analysis #lottie matthews #natalie scatorccio #lottienat #brought forth from the countless Lottie slideshows with this sound I've seen #no complaints #didn't even mean to add lottienat it just happened #oh well #it’s 4am someone stop me

[brainworms-all-night-long]

I think the goofiness and inpropability of Sonic and Nine so cassualy conversating while they're 50m appart would be slightly medicated if they just, talked through their communicators? Listen yea the Grim is empty they're both animals with strong hearing and this is the least fantastical thing in the show where the universe got ripped to shreds because of a magic rock that was just sitting in a mountain why am I so hung up on it? concider it would be like them having an angry phonecall across the street, added komedy points

#sonic prime #dont #dont listen to me #its 4am I should sleep this isnt good #brain is conjuring up nonsense I have no way of stopping it #please someone just hit me unconcious with a bat or something #miles nine prower #sonic the hedgehog #sonic prime spoilers #silly brainworms

[hjemne]

Just finished trigun 98 and what the FUCK how could you possibly do this to me

#im not okay #oh my god #it was 15 episodes of pure stupidity and 11 episodes of ehat thr FUCK #fjdwkkajw????? #IN A CHURCH #ON THE CROSS ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME #MILLY my number one most precious girl ever my love my dear #god they wanted families #screamung crying puking my guts out #i gotta read the manga i feel like theres so much lore around the plants and gunslingers and knife that im super missing out on #and watch the film and then finally watch the new reboot #it's 4am i was going to stop but then SOMEONE turned rhemself into a martyr and i couldn't sleep until i knew the ending #in a fucking church on a fucjing cross #but also vash screaming BRAD was pure comedy ngl #brad just is Not an angsty name #it doesn't work I'm sorry hes playing football and drinkin beer not sacrificing his life to save someone else #i really need to sleep now #trigun #rambles #trigun 98

[jamietxrtt]

like roy doesn’t even really have any friends besides jamie. keeley says “don’t you ever want something more than just the yoga mums?” and roy says “nope this suits me just fine” but c’mon we know he’s lying. his only friends are people who know nothing about him. and that’s how he likes it, he claims. so he can remain guarded and stoic and keep everything under control. having friends who know nothing about you is Better Actually because then nobody really gets you and if nobody gets you then nobody can hurt you.

AND THEN JAMIE COMES ALONG, jamie who is so similar to roy’s past self that it makes him want to scream sometimes, jamie who has so many parallels and shared life experiences with roy that they Get each other even if they don’t Like each other, and jamie decides “i want to be friends with roy now” and By God Nothing Will Stand In His Way, not even roy himself. so it’s just jamie going “hey can we be friends now :) can we be friends now :) can we be friends now :) can we be frien” for like a whole season straight until roy is finally like UGH. FINE.

and now they will be besties who got all of their hatred of each other out early on so that now they just Get each other. they get each other and they get how to keep each other in check. and jamie is the only one who could ever draw roy out of his shell! because of course he could! he gets roy out seeing the sights of amsterdam and teaches him how to ride a bike and takes him to see a windmill! you know what roy would’ve been doing if not for jamie? sulking for hours on end and that’s it. and that’s what he usually does at home too. but jamie JAMIE is the only one who can fucking pester him enough into going outside and Actually Enjoying Himself For Fucking Once. partially because roy just doesn’t wanna put up with jamie’s Persistence if he says no but also after a while i think it just becomes habit to, if jamie wants to go out and do something, just go with him. he might grumble and complain on the way there but he’ll be smiling on the way back :)

and from jamie’s perspective. HOO BOY. i mean hello roy kent??? childhood hero roy kent??? on the poster on his wall for 10 years roy kent hello???? there’s a reason jamie’s been trying so hard to get through to him. roy laughs at a joke jamie said once (1ce) and jamie is On Fucking Cloud Nine for the ENTIRE rest of the night. literally Beaming for hours on end.

and also i think just like. with his teammates and all that, jamie loves them, but he’s still often very concerned with how he comes off to them. he’s still trying to be very considerate about Being A Good Teammate, and being Cool, and being One Of The Lads. he likes the lads and hangs out with them but i think he worries about what they think of him a bit too much.

but with roy.... like he and roy were at each other’s throats for fucking months. they know how to handle each other’s bitchiness. jamie lashes out and says something mean to sam and sam will just get all sad puppy dog eyes until jamie’s guilt crushes him. but jamie says something mean to roy and roy is just like “fuck u dick” and jamie knows to shut his mouth and that’s that.

roy’s hated him and tolerated him and held him sobbing in his arms. they’ve both seen each other at their worst and ugliest and weakest. jamie doesn’t need to pretend to be nice bc roy knows hes a prick and jamie doesnt need to pretend to be “tough” because they’ve both seen each other cry before. so there’s no need to pretend anymore, there doesn’t have to be any work to keep up pretenses. there’s no more reputation left to burn!!! they know each other too well for that!!! which is very freeing for jamie i think as someone who’s so so obsessed with his image.

i just. roy jamie friendship has such the potential to heal them both SO SO MUCH and i need it. i need it for my soul. thank u

#its 4am someone stop me #not ship #again pls dont tag as ship. or do i'm not ur boss. but i don't mean it in a shippy way #i have no idea whats wrong with me i started writing a fic abt them smoking weed together and it spiraled into this <3 help #i just. i will never be over the fucking POTENTIAL roy and jamie's friendship has #if only they would. allow it. #literally the most character relationship of all time #they hate each other they love each other they're the same person and they're nothing alike #they have decades of history and they just met 2 years ago #and above all else. they r besties

[bunnyb34r]

I dont get how loud noises don't bother people

Like the forklifts beeping make me so full of RAGE that I get so crabby by 7:30 bc they're hurrying to finish their shit while they're allowed to have the lifts out without needing a spotter/all that and it's a cacophony and it makes me just so angry that I'll be cranky for another HOUR at least

#marquilla #me: idk how you dont get blind rage when you hear the forklifts and the NOISE #[rc]: you get that from your dad. (autism) my house was always loud growing up so i tune shit out #and i can't STAND people talking to me or just talking in general in the morning and this one annoying coworker allllwwwwaaaaayyys #talks and it's like can you just... shut your trap for 5 minutes?? please???? #and she laughs SO LOUD which is only a problem bc shes cooonstantly laughing in the morning and it's like bitch its 4am can you stop?? #we were joking (rc and i) that i could never be an emergency service person like a emt or firefighter bc i would lash out in the truck or #ambulance bc someone would be talking on the walkie/radio and the sirens would push me over and id scream

[xxamichaxx]

Cookies for your (secret) soulmate!

Ever since I saw this scene I always wanted to draw it, so finally I got around to doing it

#doublelife #grian #gtws #desertduo #someone help it’s 4am and I just finished this and I can’t stop watching it #I’m going to sleep now #happy new year too <3 #alyxart #don’t expect many animatics from me #I’m not good at it #grian fanart #life series

[brine-in-my-eyes]

me: im going to sleep now. gnight

my brain for the past couple of days: In Heaven there are floating broken platforms laid atop ruins of something older than god. If you fall through them you will end up in New Heaven where a universal studios-esc globe spins in the middle. it also very cold here. Gandalf is the angel guardian and shadow the hedgehog is the second in command. shadow the hedgehog distrusts and wants to kill you. you accidentally kill gandalf. you are now a permanent resident of heaven and have to be a giant floating teenager angel that is just for some reason bigger than everyone else and you literally radiate light like the sun. fuck you.

me waking up: wh

#rambles #girl help ive been getting the weirdest dreams as of now #is it because i keep staying up will literally 4am? the answer is probably yes #are these prophecies #is someone sending these dreams to mw #stop that please i just wanna dream about my ocs again #i only get a few times where my ocs show up and at that moment i know its a dream and then i wake up #man! i really want free lucid content of them just existing without me having to do work #but a boy can dream....

[n4b3]

.

#genuinely just want her out of my life the pain i experienced whenever i see her is tremendous #it is equally as painful as being ill #i woke up at 4am and its almost 6 and i can't stop thinking about her #and i stupid ass girl thought everything would be fine that she would understand what im going through and cried my eyes out asking for hel #and yet i got nothing. thinking she was someone i could rely on #it is so painful to see the fragments of what we were in other people. but she has actively avoided me and treated me so badly #and yet i bite back when she does and it couldn't get any worse #and i held to that hope that there's a way it can be fixed there's hope to that promise she said she didn't want to lose me #and lose the connection we had for so many years #it's like she's that kind of person everybody likes. everybody friend. but its only there for the good times and not for the bad times #and made me wonder what does friend mean to other people? for me is for the ppl who are in the good and the bad #i just kind of realized i can't talk to her anymore bc it sends me on this spirals of why's why's why's #why is she like that with me? why didn't she kept up with her promise? what kind of shit did i do or say that made everything go south? #this is too much for me and i don't know what I did wrong #everywhere i go i just see her bc she's my classmate but also i can't scape her bc her art is suddenly in art galleries #she haunts me in a way #but i miss her so much and i just we could go back to what we used to be #and i don't understand why shes like that with me none of our common friends understand either and everyone telling me to drop her #because of her behavior #and im just here praying for someone to pop up into my life and take me out of this misery #but it is really one of the hardest things for me is to meet new people literally my Achilles heel #its so hard to go through this pain alone i can barely keep up with the illness i have this shit is the cherry on top #made me wish I had ride or dies #and I have so many reasons to hate her and treat her badly and awful and yet i don't do it... and I even forgave her what she did to me #treats me like I was the one who did what she did to me #is really so bizarre

[canyonroads]

I'm litterally so depressed and idk how to keep going lol

#can not sleep more than a few hours at a time #was overeating now ive swung back around to undereating #dont even get me started on how hard showering has been #but every single simple task is just a nightmare and i keep freezing up #can barely be present to help my partner function let alone function personally #i cant stand it i just want it to stop #i feel it too physically. not sure if thats always been true but #its like an actual weight on my chest like someone is sitting on me and I cant breathe and I cant function #and i wanna kms not even necessarily suicidally but just so this will stop #litterally crying in the bathroom at 4am cuz Im so tired and frustrated #also if we are friends and you want me to reply to you?? lolol good luck im so sorry youre gonna get it the worst

[frecklystars]

im a stupid broken mess in every universe but he loves me anyway

#vent art #self harm cw #i dont rly have a merformers design for him but thats ok #i will think of one eventually #💕 Two falling stars ✨ #i was listening to cameos and im like oh surely this will make me Stop Crying #HMHM i am a fool they always make me cry even harder #i dont want to work tomorrow i dont want to work my super long shifts next week either #i am hoping someone will be able to take at least one of those shifts #so i can drive to the convention at least one day #but i know nobody will #nobody likes this job #ive been feeling this weight in my chest for so long #i can rly feel it this year its either going to kill me or its going to push me into another situation #either way i cant take it much longer. i know something will happen #ive never felt this bad in my life and im gonna catch fire #its 4am i should be asleep but i know i wont!! bc i slept all day bc i didnt sleep LAST night #so im gonna go into work extremely exhausted #and then ppl are gonna be like wow keri you look like fucking shit and ill say thanks!! #and im gonna cry on the clock and hope it isnt in front of any coworkers #i am not myself anymore im so fucking broken now #i dont know how to fix it i dont think i can fix it #i think im just destined to leave when the month ends #to give someone their gifts and then figure out which stuff im giving away #we're moving this month too so i can use that as an excuse #when i have all my shit packed up

[ancano]

oh fuck im high

#i hit that a bit toooooo much #maybe i should go to bed #if i post weird shit i didnt go to bed and someone should tell me to go to bed #i work walmart black friday this afternoon i can't be fucking sleepy #it's like 4am man #oooh if im still up at 420 imma hit it again #this sounds likea very smart thing to do #someone please stop me

[thewankwizard]

Tell me why testosterone gave me a full layer of fur on my ass and nothing on my arms and face

#trans #honestly loving the ass hair #wish i could grow literally any hair above the waist through #actually maybe its better i dont evey man in my family who doesnt shave has the worst scraggly beard youve ever seen #also ive got to talk to a gp about my diy hrt in a few days and im going to get told off #at least they aren't trying to make me stop #its 4am #the best time for screaming into the void #thats the beautiful thing about tumblt #very few people will see this and nobody knows who i am #i can do this all for me without the pressure to be normal or the fear that someone i know will see this #i can talk about my ass hair at 4am without consequence #goodnight

[attanoempire]

i just keep coming back to that anon like my dude what were you thinking when you wrote it? "Maybe you should slice your throat open" like idk bro maybe? are you offering suggestions for passtimes or what?

if you're gonna tell me to off myself at least show some initiative yknow? fuckin tell me to slice my throat open, don't just drop the casual suggestion in my asks like it's drink mix i should try out

#ira stop talking #im sorry its just too funny #like someone scrolled my blog for ten minutes #decided they hated me #and left me anon hate at like 4am #incredible #im not even involved in any drama that i know of so i have to assume this was just based on a scroll through #i can be pretty abrasive though i could see it being someone ive blocked or their friends #maybe thats it

[pears-trinkets]

.

#i asked my upstairs neighbor to not vacuum at 4am because theyve done it several times #and she answered with WELL I DONT MIND IT WHEN MY FRIEND UPSTAIRS DOES IT SO THAT SEEMS LIKE A YOU PROBLEM #IT WAS LIKE 5 SECONDS ANYWAY AND I HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING ELSE EVER SO MAYBE YOU SHOULD PLUG YOUR EARS #she was like yeah i spilled cat litter so i had to obviously #like... okay if it was time sensitive maybe idk use paper towels or idk a broom get creative AT 4 FUCKING AM or just wait???? #and then she was like WELL ANYWAY HOPE YOU FIND THE REAL CULPRIT because i mentioned how her moving stuff at night wakes me up #why is asking for other people to care a bit so hard 💀💀💀 why does it feel like shit #why am i feeling like im evil for asking her to be considerate at night time?? #she said WELL I DONT MIND VACUUMING AND IT WAS REALLY SHORT ANYWAY so much #that i had to say well im still asking you to stop bc its against the houserules #and shes friends with so many other people in the building i bet now everyone knows me as the weird naggy bitch 💀💀💀 #i havent been able to sleep properly in weeks because someone drumms until midnight and when i fall asleep after that theyre loud upstairs #and i know many people here have night shift jobs and i honestly slept better when i did too #but thats not an excuse to not even try to be quieter at night #i know it doesnt feel good to be accused of something and i tried to word it very nicely and not as harsh but come on #im an exhausted anxious person with issues i dont think im asking too much pls dont respond like this

[breadbrobin]

call it what you want

luke castellan x reader — percy jackson and the olympians

[fem!daughter of aphrodite reader]

summary: he fell first, you fell harder, and all at once.

warning: tooth-rotting fluff. literally i think that’s it it’s just sickeningly cute

word count: 2.1k

(the luke brainrot is so real i wrote this at like 4am last night plsss)

——————————————

luke castellan thought you could have hung the stars in the sky. he wouldn’t know any different, nor would he care to find out. in his mind, you were perfect. the most perfect, in fact.

there was one person that no one could hate at camp, and that was you. a friend to all who’d have you, a sister to those who needed you, and whatever you were to luke.

not even you understood the nature of your relationship with him.

years of friendship slowly became changed, twisted, slightly more than you’d bargained for. it was a happy change. realising you were in love with luke castellan was an ever-continuous process—a little one day, a little more another. but for luke… gods, realising he was in love with you came as easy as breathing. every smile on your lips, every laugh, every surreptitious look across rooms set his heart aflame. fluttering, dancing, swirling.

it wasn’t like you didn’t love him. you did. you surely did. but time hadn’t been kind to your heart and children of aphrodite have never been truly lucky in love. helping others achieve their loves was more common. more often than not, you and your siblings were happy with just that.

“anyone you got your eye on?” you asked one day as you sat with luke on the dock. your bare feet dangled into the water, toes just touching the cool surface.

“maybe. maybe not. when are you leaving?” he avoided the question, gazing out at the water and squinting in the glare of the sun.

“two weeks. i’m staying for my birthday this year.” you looked over at him. “you can tell me who it is, you know? i won’t laugh, i promise.”

he shot you an exasperated look. “what makes you think there is someone, princess?”

you lean over and nudge his arm teasingly, missing the blush on his face. “you’ve been distracted lately. quiet. you smile more though, and i’ve seen you blushing. who is it?”

“maybe i’m sick. what if i’m dying, y/n? then what? you’re assuming i’m in love when i’m actually dying?”

you raised your hands mockingly. “hey, you’re the one who mentioned love, pal. not me. ask yourself about that one.”

he rolled his eyes and elbowed you gently with a soft smile. his smiles were always soft, you realised. gentle and kind—two words you’d use to describe luke castellan any chance you got. you looked at him in the sunlight. and pretty, you thought. gentle, kind and pretty.

late nights were always for thinking.

you’d had trouble sleeping since you were a kid. not just the typical demigod issues with nightmares, but difficulty falling asleep in the first place. when those times struck, and the late hours before midnight slipped by, your thoughts wandered.

as always, your thoughts circled a few items; your family, your friends, then, always, luke.

he was separate to your friends, always had been. you didn’t really know why.

gentle, kind and pretty, you recalled. it had been a few days since the lake and you hadn’t been able to stop thinking about who he was in love with. was there some person out there at camp who held his heart, truly and deeply? why did your chest ache? were you having a heart attack?

you pressed your fingers to your pulse point in concern, then pulled them away after a few seconds. you were fine. why did you feel like that?

no one ever said children of aphrodite weren’t oblivious to their own feelings.

time ticked by into the small hours of the morning, and still you couldn’t find sleep.

you rolled out of bed and stepped into your slippers, pulling a fluffy robe around your body and stepping out into the warm night. the air was still and calm, a juxtaposition to your whirling mind as you crossed the camp, stepping down paths and stepping over tree roots in a manner you’d memorised from countless treks on similar nights.

the hermes cabin was always warmer than your own, but tonight the heat was almost stifling. you could feel the heat heavy in the air as you breathed, and sweat beaded on your lip as you crossed the cabin silently to luke’s bed.

he was sleeping half sitting up, a colouring book and set of pencils splayed out on his lap. it was one you’d bought him for his birthday years ago. you had no idea he even used it.

quietly, you packed away the pencils and put them and the book on the side table. as you did, luke’s eyes cracked open. he frowned.

“y/n? are you okay?” he rubbed his eyes, sitting up straight and stretching his neck.

“can’t sleep,” you whispered.

he nodded and pushed his sheets off. he pulled a sweatshirt on and led you out of the cabin.

this was normal for you both. if one couldn’t sleep, you’d find the other and keep each other company until you felt you could rest. it was always nice knowing someone was there to talk to, or even just sit with. there was never resentment, never irritation from the other person. you would always come find each other. finding each other was like second nature to the two of you. you swore you could find luke in any situation, with your eyes closed, all your senses blotted out, by instinct and connection alone. you could find luke castellan without even a second thought.

you sat on the porch of the cabin with your legs hanging over the edge. luke’s legs were crossed.

“what are we doing for your birthday?” he asked finally.

you shrugged. “nothing, probably. maybe i’ll get some cake. i don’t know.”

“you didn’t do anything last year,” he protested. “you need to this year. it’s the big 18.”

“we didn’t do much for your eighteenth.”

he shrugged. “we did more than nothing, though, pretty girl. come on, we have to do something.”

you shook your head. “you wanna do something, you can plan it, pretty boy. i don’t mind.”

he sighed dramatically, leaning back and lying down on the rough wood. “fine. i will.”

you laughed quietly and lay back next to him, staring up at the wooden overhang above you.

you could feel his body heat against your arm as it lay between you. he was like a furnace, honestly, always radiating heat. it was nice in winter, but oftentimes stifling in summer. this was not one of those times. instead, you revelled in the closeness between you and almost—selfishly, confusingly—wished you were closer. maybe even close enough to touch.

your birthday was a quiet affair. your siblings wished you happy birthday and gave you a handful of small gifts, mostly beauty products and clothes that would fit you perfectly, even a cute bikini you put on under your clothes, and then you all went on with your day.

it was nice, honestly, getting well wishes but little attention. you needed no celebration or pizzazz, just friends, smiles and the occasional hug.

arms wrapped around your waist from behind. you yelped in shock and turned around, finding yourself face to face with luke. he had a bright smile on his face and a smudge of glitter on his cheek.

you reached up and ran your finger over it, trying gently to remove some to no avail. “you have glitter.”

“i have glitter everywhere. i guess that’s what you get for asking one of my siblings for wrapped paper.” he removed his arms from your waist to reveal a poorly wrapped gift in purple glittery paper.

you laughed, taking it. “i’m surprised you haven’t got more of it on you.”

“oh, believe me, princess, i do.” he cringed, stepping back slightly. “happy birthday.”

you smiled up at him and opened the present, ignoring the glitter sticking to your hands and the warmth in your chest and cheeks.

he thought you looked like the sun had come down to earth.

it was a colouring book and a set of pencils. you smiled widely and flipped through the pages, revealing beautiful art. “you remembered i wanted one?”

“yeah, mostly because you kept stealing mine to colour in,” he teased. “but of course i did.”

you reached out and hugged him. “thank you, luke!”

“come on,” he pulled back and took your hand. “present isn’t done yet.”

“what have you planned?” you groaned half-heartedly as he pulled you through camp, jogging slightly to keep up with his long strides.

“don’t sound so scared, princess, it’s a good thing. i promise.”

you just sighed with a smile and let him lead you to the dock.

there was a small basket at the end of it.

you gasped excitedly. “luke, you…”

“happy birthday, y/n.” he sat down and pulled you gently down to sit next to him. he opened the the picnic basket and handed you a sandwich and a mini juice box with a bashful grin. “i would’ve sprung for coke but mr d. has a monopoly on the stuff around here.”

you laughed slightly and began eating, sitting cross-legged and looking out at the lake. the sun beat down on your back and your entire body felt warm. you suddenly weren’t sure how much of that warmth was from the sun, and how much of it was from love.

love.

whoa.

you froze with your juice box halfway to your lips.

luke looked over at you. “you okay?”

you nodded slowly, eyes wide, and set down your juice and sandwich. “i wanna swim.”

he frowned. “okay? now?”

you nodded and stood up. you were wearing your new bikini anyway, so you just pulled your shirt over your head and dropped your shorts next to it. “you coming?”

his eyes were slightly wide, but he nodded and stood up, setting his food down too and removing his over clothes.

you sat down on the dock and slid into the water. it was cold, but more refreshing than shocking. you swam out a few paces as luke jumped in directly, the splash hitting you.

“luke!” you gasped as he surfaced.

he just laughed. “sorry, princess. you’re in the water anyway.”

you pouted at him, but couldn’t stay mad, instead, you watched him as he floated a few feet from you.

he looked confused. “are you okay? was it the sandwich?”

you shook your head. “the sandwich was fine. i’m just…” you pursed your lips and swam slightly closer. “was it me?”

he frowned even deeper. “was what you?”

“when i asked you the other day, you said you were in love with someone. was it me?”

you felt a little bad for putting him on the spot as he looked away, abashed, but when he looked back at you, eyes strong and jaw set, and said, “yes,” you didn’t regret a thing.

“why?” you asked before you could stop yourself.

“why not?” he shrugged. “why does the sun shine? why does the wind blow? just because that’s the way things are. and i guess… yeah, me being in love with you is the way it is.”

you were silent for a moment, a small smile on your face. “well, that’s good then. i’m not sure how long this has actually been a thing, luke castellan, but i guess that me being in love with you is also… just the way it is.”

he swam slightly closer, a smile breaking across his face. gentle, kind, pretty. “yeah?”

“yeah, pretty boy. now kiss me. it’s my birthday, after all.”

“yes ma’am,” he grinned. one of his hands slid around your waist, warm as ever in the cold water, and he pulled you closer to him. he savoured the moment for a beat, just studying your face, memorising the look in your eyes, the sun on your skin and the soft smile on your lips. then he pressed his lips to yours.

you finally understood what people meant when they said ‘fireworks’. they were right. kissing luke was like playing with fire or dancing in the rain, or watching christmas lights twinkle. it was exhilarating, sweet and safe all at the same time; pure and honest love. and he was one damn good kisser.

when he pulled away you were out of breath, treading water still. you swam backwards, pulling him with you by the hand on the back of his neck until you were in the cool shade of the dock, using it to keep you afloat. it was much colder under there, but at least now you had him to keep you warm.

#luke castellan #luke castellan x reader #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo x reader #pjo #charlie bushnell #luke castellan x you

[the-best-bagel]

I am so very sleepy and want to sleep very bad. And Yet

#literally every time i get close i start thinking about shit that keeps me up or makes me wanna kms #please can i stop thinking about my tendons and ovaries its 5am #i even took a melatonin #and it even WORKED #i got so sleepy #so why am i awake hmm #whats stronger than melatonin has no side affects isnt addictive i wont build a tolerance to and does nothing but make me sleep normal #jk ik why i cant sleep technically rn #its bc i woke up at noon after someone decided to come home at 4am last night #and promply took a nap after getting home #my issue still stands tho this has been happening for a while #maybe its my period but i feel very righteously annoyed at like everyone in my life rn #sisters being stupid moms being annoying and rude and roomie is being Incredibly inconsiderate #aka all the fucking usual shit