#it took me two days to realise that the was a random horizontal line in the middle of the vk mugshot meme. when were yall gonna tell me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

worldwidemochiguy · 4 years

Text

Sweets (Soft Yandere! Jungkook)

You keep being visited by the most peculiar thief…

➵ in which jungkook steals your lip balm and perfume instead of talking to you, you leave a post-it note with your number on it for the strange thief who only seems to take the most inexplicable items and has a strange sense of responsibility for your wellbeing, and the cute boy in your photography class with the fluffy hair and the oversized sweater keeps getting more and more endearing…

➵ Warnings: Soft Yandere Jungkook, Breaking & Entering but without the Breaking, Reader is a bit of a ditz (lol sorry guys)

➵ Word Count: 4.2K

➵ Masterlist

“Hello, uh, I’d like to… report a crime?”

Your statement, which had always sounded suitably firm and assertive when you practised it in front of the bathroom mirror, ended with an unplanned upturn, making it sound more like a question than you would like.

“Please state your name and address, ma’am.”

You did so, listening anxiously to the tap of a keyboard as your information was filed away. The undoubtedly over-worked police officer on the other end of the line sounded like he was two seconds from falling asleep, and you questioned yourself for the millionth time over whether you really needed to report this or not.

“What is the nature of the crime you are reporting, ma’am?”

“Um… well…”

You twisted your hand into the fabric of your shirt self-consciously, trying to decide the best way to explain the strange little occurrences that had been surrounding your apartment over the last few months. You had not yet found a way to put it without sounding ridiculous, but you supposed there was a first time for everything.

“I, uh, I think someone’s breaking into my apartment and stealing things.”

“You have an intruder?”

“Uh huh,”

“…Are they currently in your residence?”

“No, I think… they come and take things when I’m not here and then they’re gone by the time I get back.”

“What items have been stolen?”

You bit your lip.

“I know it sounds silly, but…”

“No crime is too small to report, ma’am. We are committed to making the lives of everyday citizens safer.”

“Well… they’ve stolen my lip balm like… several times. I keep buying new ones and they keep being stolen after a week or so. And my perfume. And my hairbrush one time, and-”

“Ma’am,” The officer cut you off with the impatience you had been both anticipating and dreading ever since you decided to call the police, “Listen, we don’t have the capacity to deal with prank callers-”

“It’s not a prank call!” You blurted, a momentary burst of desperation overtaking you, “I- um, sorry for interrupting, officer, but this isn’t a prank call. Things have been going missing. I can’t afford to keep replacing my lip balm.”

A sigh crackled across the line, and you pictured the officer maybe taking off his glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose like those people in movies always seemed to do when they got frustrated. Personally, you had never found that it helped.

“Are you sure you aren’t just… misplacing them?”

You gasped, offended that even a stranger could think you so stupid. “No! I remember exactly where I leave things and then they just vanish! I swear!”

“Has anything of value ever been taken from your apartment?”

“Yes!” You exclaimed, excited to be able to prove the officer wrong, “My bunny plushy! Mr Snuggles is extremely valuable to me!”

“…Monetary value, I meant. Has anything expensive ever been taken from your apartment?”

There was an embarrassing silence. The officer sighed again, with a little more exasperation colouring his tone.

“If anything significant is stolen, call us back. For now, just… be a bit more careful with your possessions.”

He hung up. You pressed your forehead against the wall and wished your strange thief had taken your phone in one of his little visits. Maybe then you would’ve avoided making that agonising call.

The next morning as you were leaving to go to class, you noticed a pile of discarded post-it notes on your desk — the remnants of a redbull-fuelled late night study session. Your newly purchased lip balm lay next to it. Impulsively, you grabbed a pen and scrawled a message on one of the post-its, sticking it horizontally to the curved surface of the lip balm tube.

it reads:

pls don’t take this i just bought it and this brand is actually v expensive and i am only a struggling college student with loans and chapped lips (。•́︿•̀。)

It might have been a little too polite considering it’s intended recipient was someone who had stolen multiple items from your apartment, but you figured there was no point in being rude. They probably wouldn’t even read it anyway.

You strolled out of your apartment, planning to pick up a smoothie on the way to your lecture, and promptly forgot all about it.

When you returned home to find a pile of newly bought lip balms on your desk — all embossed with the logo of your favourite brand — you were slightly puzzled. But, once you remembered the note you had left- well, the confusion didn’t exactly vanish, but at least you were given some context.

The note had disappeared, along with the lip balm you had used a scant few times. But, you didn’t understand what the thief’s aim was. Why on earth would they steal small things like lip balm and perfume? And why would they buy you new copies of the product? Wasn’t that counterproductive?

you’re very bad at your job

Your next note read, stuck to your fridge as you left to grab coffee with your study group. It remained there for a few days, and you couldn’t ignore the way your heart sank a little each time you saw it hadn’t been taken.

After six days, when it finally vanished, you felt an odd sense of happiness bubble up within you. Yes, there was someone routinely breaking into your apartment, but at least now you had an open channel of communication with them. They had left a brand new bottle of your preferred perfume — which had been stolen at least twice before you stopped bothering to buy it because perfume is pricy — resting on your kitchen counter, beside a box of your favourite chocolates.

As you dug into the box later, snuggled in a blanket and having a Studio Ghibli film marathon, you didn’t even consider the fact that the sweets might be tampered with. If they wanted to kill me, they would’ve killed me already, you reasoned to yourself, sucking the icing sugar off your fingers. Nor did you question how they knew your favourite chocolate. If they broke into your apartment as much as you assumed they did, they probably knew you better than your own parents by now.

You were the very definition of a broke college student. As far as you were concerned, if this random stranger wanted to buy you things and sometimes clean up your apartment — you had definitely come back to a home tidier than you had left it more than once — then you certainly weren’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Maybe it was a little naïve of you, but… you had already called the police, and they hadn’t cared.

thank you for the perfume and chocolate <3

You wrote next morning, hesitating slightly before putting the heart. Before you could convince yourself not to, you scribbled another line underneath.

i wish you’d write back someday…

As you walked to class, you scolded yourself for the butterflies swooping in your stomach. They’re literally a criminal, you told yourself, Stop getting crushes on anyone who shows you the slightest bit of attention. You don’t even know their name.

Despite the small amount of common sense that you did have mocking you all day, you sat in classes and daydreamed about your mystery home intruder. Would they read the note? Would they be happy about your appreciation? Would they — you bit your lip — would they write back?

You felt like a dumb schoolgirl, excited by the prospect of a badly written love note shoved in her locker. And, like a school girl, you trudged back home with your arms weighed down by class work, a billion essays and quizzes that had to be completed overnight. Did your professors not realise you had a life outside of college? Not that you did, of course, but like… in principle.

You were so preoccupied with the coursework that you didn’t even notice the note stuck to your bedroom door. After an hour of studying, you rose wearily to start fixing yourself something to eat, and your eyes snagged on a flash of yellow.

You squeaked, almost falling over yourself in your rush to get to the door and read the note.

i’m glad you liked them. i’m sorry i took your things, that was mean of me. i tried to only take things you wouldn’t miss, but i guess that backfired… i just wanted to feel close to you. and these notes… are the closest i’ve ever been. i know that must sound weird, but… well. i’m a weird guy, i guess. i just liked hearing from you. that’s all.

~ koo <3

You didn’t stop freaking out for a full five minutes. After that, you poured over every detail of the letter, eager to extricate any fragment of knowledge possible. You ended up with a list which you scribbled down in your diary, above which you pasted the note.

The list went as follows:

They want to feel close to you

They have not talked to you before, since the notes are the closest they’ve ever been, but they must have seen you in person at least once

They are a he

(you adamantly did not get flustered about that)

and

4. He calls himself Koo

When you left your apartment the next morning, you placed your note on the exact same spot he had left his. An indirect touch.

hi koo !!!!!!!!

i was so excited to see you had written something!! you know, if you want to talk to me more often, there is an easier way…

Underneath you had scrawled your phone number, hastily and not allowing for regret before you flounced out of the apartment. The reason why you were in such a rush was because you were about to go to your favourite class: Photography 101.

You had taken it as an extra credit, something that interested you but not enough that you wanted to pursue it as a career. You had expected it to be fun, something artistic to break up the monotony of classes. What you had not expected was the dreamy boy who sat in the first row and had full possession of your heart.

You didn’t even know his name, but you were pretty sure you were half in love with him. With fluffy brown hair that fell over his forehead whenever he leaned over to scribble down notes, and cute bunny teeth that stuck out in a flustered smile whenever the professor praised his work in class, he was perhaps the cutest boy you had ever seen.

Though you were sure he had many girls sighing after him, he seemed to be really shy, only ever speaking in class when called on, and even then it was in a quiet, soft voice. He was kind of like you in that respect. But that was where your similarities ended.

Yes, you thought, sighing as you watched him pay avid attention to the professor’s lecture on the composition of frames, his cute doe eyes wide and twinkling like stars were embedded in the pupils, He is way out of my league.

It took three days for you to lose hope. You hadn’t received a text, nor had you found any notes left for you. You tried not to be disappointed, even as your traitorous sub-conscience mocked you for being able to scare away the one person who arguably paid you the most attention.

You didn’t really have many friends, and the ones you did have preferred each other over you, and often left you out of activities because of your shy nature. You guessed this whole thing had just been a way to feel like you actually mattered to someone, like, for once, someone cared about you, but-

You were pulled out of your musings as your phone chimed.

From: Unknown Number

[6:48 PM]

this is koo

The two of you texted every day, and soon enough you were hiding your phone underneath your desk in order to chat to him, keeping your phone on your person at all times in case koo wanted to talk. Of course, the only class you didn’t do this in was Photography, so you could spend a blissful forty-five minutes staring at the boy who played the role of your husband in all of your favourite daydreams.

Koo still broke into your house occasionally, and he still left you sweet, considerate gifts. Often, you would receive texts like this:

From: koo ✨

[3:24 PM]

sweets i’ve been checking your groceries and your vegetables are not being eaten as often as they should be

i know you have a sweet tooth and that’s cute but please try to stay healthy

To: koo ✨

[3:25 PM]

but i can’t cook all i know how to make is microwaveable mac n cheese :///////

You came back home that day to discover a bunch of Tupperwares full of pre-made healthy meals and a note stuck to the top of them.

try microwaving these :)

To: koo ✨

[3:01 AM]

koo are you awake?

From: koo ✨

[3:01 AM]

i am now

what’s wrong?

To: koo ✨

[3:02 AM]

i can’t sleep :////////

From: koo ✨

[3:02 AM]

sweets you need to go to bed

you have an early morning class

To: koo ✨

[3:02 AM]

i knowwwwww

i just… i can’t sleep without mr snuggles :((

From: koo ✨

[3:03 AM]

Mr Snuggles??

???

To: koo ✨

[3:03 AM]

my cuddly bunny :((((

i think you took him a while ago

could i maybe have him back…?

From: koo ✨

[3:03 AM]

Shit

i didn’t know you couldn’t sleep without him

[3:04 AM]

sweets im so sorry

To: koo ✨

[3:04 AM]

its okay koo

From: koo ✨

[3:04 AM]

no it isn’t

you’re loosing sleep because of me

fuck

i could… bring him to you?

To: koo ✨

[3:05 AM]

you’d do that?

…i could see you?

From: koo ✨

[3:05 AM]

no i’d leave him outside

you’d have to promise not to come out until i text you saying i’ve left

To: koo ✨

[3:06 AM]

but kooooo :(((((

From: koo ✨

[3:07 AM]

sweets

To: koo ✨

[3:07 AM]

okay :((((((((((

but i expect you to leave a big box of chocolates on my pillow for me to come home to tomorrow evening!!

From: koo ✨

[3:08 AM]

of course sweets <3

im gonna get going now

don’t look outside your apartment

To: koo ✨

[3:08 AM]

okay

From: koo ✨

[3:34 AM]

im gone and mr snuggles is waiting outside for you

he might have a little gift with him

You trudged outside your apartment, rubbing your eyes blearily, and looked down to see your beloved plushie clutching a single rose in its paws. You gasped, leaning down to pick up the flower gently, and you noticed all the thorns had been taken off. Koo must’ve removed them so that you didn’t accidentally hurt yourself.

You felt warmth flood you, drowning the butterflies in your stomach and replacing them with something much less fleeting, much less shallow.

It sunk into your bones, into your heart, into your breath as you sighed, squeezing your long-lost Mr Snuggles close to your face. He carried the familiar scent of nostalgia, but also something different, something sharper. You realised with a jolt that you were smelling Koo’s cologne.

You went back to bed, nuzzled your face into the plushy’s furry belly, and dreamed of fluffy brown hair and bunny smiles.

Though with Mr Snuggles’ help you were able to sleep wonderfully, you were only able to do so for four hours before your alarm jolted you back into early reality. Honestly, you were sorely tempted to just ditch class, but it was Photography, and if you missed your regular dose of the cute boy in the front row then you thought you might just crumble into dust.

You dragged yourself out of bed, pulling on your softest oversized hoodie — a gift from Koo which, now that you thought about it, smelled like the same cologne that Mr Snuggles did. You flushed at the thought of him giving you one of his hoodies to wear, though you couldn’t say exactly why that image charmed you.

You stumbled into the lecture, arms full of textbooks because you knew you wouldn’t have the energy to return back to your apartment to retrieve the relevant materials for your next class later in the day. Your excellent plan was to crash in the library directly after this, have a two hour power-nap, and then make yourself get up in time for Calculus.

You barely had the energy to listen to the professor droning on and on about… the perfect lense, or whatever. You allowed yourself the indulgence of tuning out, resting your chin on your palm and gazing dreamily at the boy in the front row. He was taking notes, as per usual. What a good student! You praised him in your head. I bet he has the best handwriting.

Despite your best efforts, you fell asleep within ten minutes. You were woken as the class concluded by the clamour of students grabbing their materials and the scrape of chairs as your classmates stood up, leaving you behind — the only one half-splayed across the desk in front of you.

You jerked upright, grabbing your stuff in one hand as you tried to tug on your bag, eventually succeeding with much struggle, only to drop it all again as soon as you stood up. You whimpered, watching helplessly as your textbooks fanned across the floor. You saw one of them split along the spine as it landed on an open page.

That cost me two hundred dollars, you thought absently, and I just chucked it down like a bouncy ball.

Suddenly, you glimpsed someone crouching down and gathering them all up into a sturdy pile. As he stood up, your vision was full of fluffy brown hair, errant strands falling into star-filled doe eyes.

Oh. Oh no.

“H-Here you are,” He murmured, passing you the pile gently, making sure you were able to take the weight before leaving them in your arms. When he leaned close to you, you breathed in a scent that was oddly familiar, and yet new at the same time. As his hands receded, his skin brushed against yours for a second and you swear your vision blanked out.

“Thanks,” You whispered, your gaze so firmly focused on the floor that you didn’t notice his flushed cheeks.

As soon as you got to the library, you whipped out your phone, all tiredness banished from your system by that momentous experience. You had talked to him.

To: koo ✨

[8:47 AM]

koo i think im in love

From: koo ✨

[8:47 AM]

what

with who

To: koo ✨

[8:47 AM]

this boy in my photography class

he’s just so-

[8:48 AM]

i can’t even explain it

i dropped my textbooks and he picked them up for me and i stg i almost cried

From: koo ✨

[8:48 AM]

wait

seriously??

To: koo ✨

[8:49 AM]

yeah i cry at like the drop of a hat

From: koo ✨

[8:49 AM]

no-

cute

but i mean

that’s who you’re in love with?

To: koo ✨

[8:49 AM]

yeah?

From: koo ✨

[8:49 AM]

gray sweater

[8:50 AM]

big eyes

tall-ish

that’s him???

To: koo ✨

[8:50 AM]

OMG YOU’RE IN MY PHOTOGRAPHY CLASS AREN’T YOU

From: koo ✨

[8:50 AM]

WHAT

IM NOT

To: koo ✨

[8:50 AM]

OMGGGGGGG

YOU SAW HIM HELP ME SO YOU MUST BE IN MY CLASSSS

[8:51]

okay!

are you the frat guy who always comes in hungover???

no judgement

From: koo ✨

[8:51 AM]

To: koo ✨

[8:52 AM]

are you the guy who only ever wears knitwear???

From: koo ✨

[8:52 AM]

To: koo ✨

[8:53 AM]

…are you the professor?

From: koo ✨

[8:53 AM]

NO!!!!!

oh my god lets just meet up or something before i explode

To: koo ✨

[8:53 AM]

WAIT

ARE YOU SERIOUS????

From: koo ✨

[8:54 AM]

…you’re that excited to meet me?

To: koo ✨

[8:54 AM]

OF COURSE I AM

OH MY GODDDD

WHEN?

From: koo ✨

[8:54 AM]

now?

i can meet you at the campus coffee shop in like five minutes?

To: koo ✨

[8:55 AM]

five minutes???

that’s not enough time koo i have to go home and pick out something pretty to wear !!

From: koo ✨

[8:55 AM]

it doesn’t matter what you wear, you’re always beautiful to me

To: koo ✨

[8:56 AM]

you

you think im

b-beautiful

: ’ ))))))))))

From: koo ✨

[8:57 AM]

…

haha see you there!!

To: koo ✨

[8:57 AM]

GET BACK HERE WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THIS-

You sat on an empty table, fiddling with the tea bag tag which hung over the side of your mug. You had bought Green Tea as an effort to calm yourself down so you weren’t too anxious to meet Koo, but it hadn’t worked because you were impatient and sipped it too soon so now you were sat there nursing a burnt tongue like an idiot.

You knew it was irrational to be self-conscious. He already knew who you were, and seemed to like you, it was just you that was in the dark. You went over the possible people Koo could be, mentally cycling through the boys in your photography class. It was an annoyingly large class, which meant he would be anyone from the guy who smelled like Funyuns to-

Fluffy-haired boy strolled into the coffee shop and you let out an involuntary sigh. He seemed to be cheerful, a smile exposing his bunny teeth and making his cheeks bunch up adorably, with like, five different sets of dimples poked into them. You had never agreed more with the saying that dimples were caused by an angel’s kiss.

Well, at least I’ll have something nice to look at while I wait, you thought, just before all your thoughts suddenly tipped out of your head when you realised he was walking towards your table.

“Is this seat taken?” He grinned, before sliding into the seat across from you.

You whimpered, and his smile grew devastatingly wider.

“Hi,” He breathed, before his gaze flickered down to your mug of tea, clutched so tightly in your hands that you worried the ceramic might shatter. “You didn’t get hot chocolate? I thought you had a sweet tooth?”

“Uhm-” You choked, before forcing yourself to get a grip. How would Koo feel if he walked in here and saw you sitting with another guy? “I’m actually- I’m waiting for someone. Sorry.”

If it was possible — and it certainly seemed to be — the boy’s grin broadened even more, his eyes crinkling into adorable half-moons.

“Is that so? Is he your boyfriend?”

“No!” You blurted, before flushing profusely. The boy across from you seemed to be thoroughly enjoying the display. “I mean- uhm, I don’t know. Maybe? This is our- this is our first actual meeting.”

“Oh?” The boy tilted his head, “Really? How exciting.”

You hummed in agreement, eyes fixed on your slowly cooling beverage. You raised it to your mouth to take a hesitant sip and- nope, still too hot. You whined quietly, rubbing your sore tongue against the inside of your cheek to try and soothe it.

“Oh, sweets,” The boy murmured across from you, and you were too distracted to notice the nickname. He plucked the mug out of your hands and placed it on the other side of the table, as if he was trying to make sure it couldn’t hurt you anymore. “Are you okay? Do you want me to take you to the campus infirmary?”

“Wha- no, it’s okay,” You mumbled, lisping slightly on your burnt tongue and blushing when he cooed over you, “It’s- I’m waiting here for someone, and- I mean, I don’t even know your name-”

“It’s Jungkook,” He interrupted cheekily, deliberately ignoring the rest of your statement, “Some people call me Kookie, and really special people call me… Koo.”

Oh. Oh.

Fuck.

“Really special people?” You asked, your voice small, and not because of the burn.

“Well, people…” Jungkook- Koo paraphrased, tilting his head slightly, “I guess it would be more accurate to say… one really special person.”

“Really?” You breathed, and Jungkook leaned over the table, close enough that you could smell his cologne, the same scent embedded in the fabric of your hoodie- his hoodie.

“The most special person.” He murmured, the fervent emotion packed in each word speaking louder than any increase of volume could.

You had never been anyone’s most special person before, but, as you looked into Jungkook’s chocolate eyes, you started to believe you could almost taste it, sticky sweet on your lips. And when Jungkook eventually, finally coaxed your lips in a gentle kiss, you let him in, and found out that happiness tastes reassuringly honey-sweet.

#bts fanfiction #Yandere bts #soft yandere bts #yandere jungkook #soft yandere jungkook #bts fanfic #bts fic #bts imagines #bts x reader #bts scenarios #yandere kpop #bts jungkook x reader #bts jungkook #bts jungkook imagines #bts Jungkook fanfic #bts jeon jungkook

2K notes · View notes

yeonchi · 5 years

Text

Thinking about the future of EDGN

I’ve never asked a lot out of my fans over the years, but to some of my close fans (you know who you are), I’d really appreciate some helpful advice because this is an important decision I’m making that will affect both you, the fans, and myself.

To cut a long story short for a tl;dr, I no longer enjoy posting about the voice languages in localised Japanese games because of some recent events and realisations and I want to retire from the English Dubbed Game News page altogether.

It’s been about five years since I started all this with the Koei Warriors Rant Series and since then, everything I’ve done that’s related to English dub has brought me nothing but hate. I know it’s a bit of an exaggeration and some of my close fans may have something to say to the contrary, but I’ve been feeling quite negative lately and because of that, I think it’s a brutally honest summary.

After ending the Dub Logistics series, I thought the one thing I could do to repay my fans for their support over the years was to continue posting on EDGN. Personally, I think I’ve done enough already and also, as I said in a post back in August, I’ve been having doubts about the future of the page and what I want to do with it given my current interests. There are several factors that led to me having these doubts, which I’ll be outlining after the break. (I can’t even put horizontal lines in my posts with the rich text editor now, thanks Tumblr)

1. I was never interested in any game outside of the Koei Warriors series or any game I played in the past (eg. Dissidia Final Fantasy).

This really shouldn’t be a surprise to my fans because in the past, I’ve rarely posted anything outside of the series I was interested in, including the aforementioned series. If I came across something by chance and liked it, then I would do some investigation into it, but these days, the spark just doesn’t want to light up anymore.

I’ve never really taken the chance to buy new games because my family doesn’t believe in buying things that aren’t important and as such, I took that mantra to heart. While I never brought a PS3, I did get a Nintendo Wii, but I traded it in later for a Wii U and not a PS4, which I still regret to this day. I pirated my PSP, DS and PC games (let’s face it, who doesn’t) and played with emulators on my computer. I only got a Steam account to play Team Fortress 2 (laggy though it was on my shitty computer) and I never brought anything from it, which made it difficult for me to add friends on there (not that they really cared in the end).

By extension, this applies to anime as well, which is the reason why I never post anything outside of the same few animes on the Waifu Network or on my Facebook pages. My belief on sexism in anime has also contributed to this disinterest; the only reason why I’m still posting the same few animes is because I’m still somewhat interested in them and I’m grateful for how they inspired some personal projects of mine.

2. Various factors have led me to lose interest in video games, including the Koei Warriors Series.

The reason why I started my dub crusade in the first place was because of Warriors Orochi 3 (Ultimate) and Samurai Warriors 4 not being dubbed. The reason why I decided to jump ship was because of Dynasty Warriors 9 being dubbed, just not with the same cast I had grown to love. I know that there were extenuating circumstances for the latter, but given everything that happened between that time, my hope that the old English voice cast (since Dynasty Warriors 4-6/Warriors Orochi 1-2) would return to voice that game (and other future games) was gone.

In addition to the previous factor, I started to find myself with more commitments than I had in past years, along with some different interests that I picked up along the way. At first, I didn’t feel like playing games because of my commitments, but eventually, it got to the point where I didn’t want to play most video games again because of the disappointment I’ve experienced from Koei Tecmo. Learning about all the things that AAA gaming companies do to reduce expenditure and increase revenue turned me off from video games as well. In my opinion, it wasn’t so much a boycott (per se) than it was a loss of interest.

3. The original group of people who inspired me to start writing these rants are now gone.

I know I’ve had other fans since the start of all this, but the original group had a special place in all this because of it. There were four people in the original group, who I met on Koei’s original Facebook page, and they were as follows:

The first one did comment on my older stuff, but he left quite early, possibly since DW8E’s release. I saw that he deactivated his account some time in 2017.

The second one had a YouTube channel and he was an admin on one of my Facebook pages for some time, but then he left after a period of inactivity without any explanation.

The third one was the more prominent because of his LGBT status and mental health issues. In the middle of 2015, he announced to everyone that he was deactivating his Facebook account because it was a burden on his mental health. He reactivated his account some time later, but he deactivated it again in September 2017 and hasn’t come back since. During that time, I saw a post from him stating that he was going to take a lot of pills and commit suicide. I reported it to Facebook in the hope that it might encourage him to find some help, even though I remember him stating that nothing works for him anymore. When I noticed that he hadn’t come back to Facebook months after he deactivated his account the second time, I assumed the worst.

The fourth one, also known as the family man or “the last one standing”, deactivated his account in June this year. We never really talked much, but as I said in this post, I’m still grateful to him for helping me find the new weapon and Musou information in DW8E when the Koei Wiki didn’t have it yet (because the game was just released at the time).

4. The impact of the feud’s aftermath still haunts me to this day.

When I agreed to end the feud on a mutual understanding a couple of years back, I promised myself that I would quickly move on from the troll behind it and not keep reminding myself of everything that happened. However, I’m a person that’s prone to anxiety when I think of worst-case-scenarios and at times, I found myself thinking about what would have happened had my Facebook account been deleted just because a troll couldn’t take the L when he got owned by someone half his age (compare that to Leafy who made terrible criticisms of people who are older than him, then claimed that he can hide behind the fact that he is younger than them). Him coming back out of nowhere earlier this year didn’t do any favours for anyone either. Regardless of that, I’ve got my bottom ground and I’ll continue to live on it regardless of what anyone else thinks of me.

I’d like to take a moment to digress and talk about cancel culture and political censorship. Because both parties in the feud weren’t exactly that popular (we had our own little fanbases, but that’s it), me and the other party “cancelling” each other (admittedly) didn’t seem to have as much an effect as we had hoped. Other factors that contributed to this could be that cancel culture (an extension to call-out culture) wasn’t that much of a thing two years ago and when the other party tried to cancel me, he made no attempt to spread the word to his fans. It was likely that he was trying to show mercy, but that doesn’t explain why he kept reporting my posts relating to him and current events in Hong Kong, knowing that I would eventually get banned if I didn’t call him out on it. I was as much a victim than I admittedly was an offender of cancel culture.

Following the feud, I’ve become wary of social media censorship because I experienced what it was like for someone to get petty and get people deplatformed by mass reporting them. Other pages like meme pages have suffered the same fate in the past (mostly because people take certain jokes too seriously), but despite my hopes, it didn’t seem like Facebook was going to do anything about the petty mass-reporting of those pages. Recently, however, I’ve been seeing news on tech companies being grilled over the censorship of conservatives and President Trump criticising them for the same thing. I’m not saying that I’m supporting Trump backing the pages that are being censored (conservative, far-right, alt-right, you name it), but I hope that this can hopefully extend to random meme pages being reported for petty reasons.

5. Ever since I decided to stop being toxic, I found myself conflicted when confronted with more toxic comments to the point that I’ve started to become paranoid over negative criticism.

When I decided to change the #NoDubNoBuy page to EDGN, I hoped that the hate towards my page would be reduced somewhat, but I never expected that it would be gone entirely. Since then, three people have made negative comments on the page; one was a girl who saw one of my posts being shared on a private group, misunderstood the (new) purpose of the page and despite her attitude, was still somewhat respectful, one was a Europoor dub hater from Spain (from what I’ve seen and learnt, Europeans tend to be sub fans and/or dub haters because of their English comprehension and ability to read subtitles) and one was an Americuck soyboy dub hater who pointed out about “crybaby fans” (”fans” as in the gatekeeping term “fake fans”, never mind my theory that people, especially men, who call other people, especially other men, “crybabies” are actually spreading toxic masculinity) who liked stuff to be Americanised but didn’t acknowledge the Japanese origins.

I’m gonna go off on a tangent and do a bit of an ad-homimem here (but it’s alright because I’m going to rebut his point next) and point out that I called the Americuck a soyboy because he had quite a long beard, but to be honest, if I called everyone who had beards “soyboys”, that would make people like Count Dankula and Sargon of Akkad “soyboys” as well, so it’d be a pretty slippery slope if I didn’t clarify who I was talking about.

Now, I’m going to move back on another tangent and rebut the soyboy’s point, because I think this is a pretty important point to address. No one is saying outright that they want Japanese games to be Americanised in terms of cultural references (if 4Kids has taught us anything). Saying that Americanisation is responsible for bad dubbing is a bit like blaming video games for causing violence. If someone says that they would like a game to be dubbed into English in localisation, then it is presumed that they want the dialogue to be dubbed in addition to the text being translated (or “dublated”). Any cultural changes made to the game or the dialogue are entirely the responsibility of those who made those changes, like the gaming companies who censor stuff for Western audiences, so if you’re complaining about a Japanese game being too “Americanised”, don’t take it out on dub fans because chances are that they didn’t want the dub to be too “Americanised” either.

Completing the square and going back to the original tangent, I didn’t post any of their comments to the dub hater comments album because I had deleted it after the feud in the hope that I wouldn’t be as toxic as I had been before. You can probably already see how toxic I would probably be if the above responses were posted on the page and directed back at them, which would mean that I’m not upholding myself to the standards I wanted to follow.

6. I’m becoming more and more concerned about current events to worry about things like English dubbing in video games.

If you’re someone who has unironically thought that I was making a big deal over something you thought was minor, then this is going to sound very ironic for you. From all these years of learning and research, I’ve attained an expansive world view and while I have made jokes about current events in the past to lighten the mood or express my anger, deep down I’m actually concerned about these things, particularly in regards to Hong Kong during this politically sensitive time.

For some reason, my desire to make posts has decreased because in addition to the above factors, I’ve been getting more and more worried about current affairs. Granted, the point of things like anime and video games and the Internet is to provide an escape from reality, but in the end, I guess that you have to face it whether you like it or not.

Making the decision to stop posting on EDGN hasn’t been an easy one, but all the factors I described above have gradually made it easier. Like the Undub page did, I had considered changing the focus of my page to merely report on the voice languages of games without saying whether we approve or reject it because it isn’t dubbed in English/Japanese; that is, we report on them with an unbiased viewpoint. Not adding excessively biased pro-dub comments on our posts has made it more neutral, but in the end, it didn’t stop the dub hater cucks. I should point out that one of the reasons why I wanted to change the #NoDubNoBuy page to EDGN was so that we could reduce the amount of hate we were getting.

What was the original goal of me starting this dub crusade? If you have read my rants in the past, then you will have picked up my hopes that Japanese games would be localised to the West with full Japanese and English dubbing and that if game companies couldn’t achieve that, then they should apologise and explain why. Would I say that I achieved or failed to achieve this goal? Not really, because over the years, I learnt a lot about the video game and voiceover industries and gradually realised that it’s not as straightforward as I had initially hoped. To be honest, it was kind of stupid of me to hope that gaming companies would say anything straightforward about this, but on the other hand, I learnt that gaming companies are like politicians as well; they say the things they want to say and not the things people want to hear.

To my fans, particularly my close fans, feel free to send me your opinions about my decision, however if you’re trying to change my mind, then I’m not sure if it can be changed so easily. If you think that I haven’t lived up to what you expect from me, then I’m sorry, but in the end, I have to think of myself as well.

If I could say one thing to the dub fanbase, I want to ask why no one else has ever tried to do something like EDGN. You have your groups and pages on social media and yet, it had to take two people pissed off with the dubbing direction of gaming companies to do it. Granted, that was how the Undub page started, with the lack of Japanese voices in localised games, and yet they didn’t get as much hate as my page did.

If there is anyone out there who wants to follow in my footsteps and make a page like EDGN, let me be the first to give you my blessing because I’m not going to be like the Undub page when they discovered us and point fingers for copying their posts when in the end, games are the same to everyone. While transparency regarding voice languages has increased over the years, there was never a place where dub fans could know about what games were dubbed in English. You don’t have to be like me and make a series of rants about why some games aren’t dubbed, because I’ve already done it, but instead, I suggest going the unbiased route as I stated earlier. Of course, you don’t have to follow my advice - it’s your page, after all.

My plan is to retire from EDGN at the end of the year. I have 12 more games in the backlog, all with English voices, and I’m hoping to post them all on the page before then. I probably won’t remove myself as an admin (because I think there’ll be some petty, obsessed cuck who’ll dig out my posts and make a rant series on me or something), but I’ll probably have it so that I can forget about the page as time goes on.

With this, my dub crusade has come to an end. Once again, to the fans, I’m sorry and I thank you for your support. As always, it is your choice as to whether you wish to continue following me, whether on Facebook or Tumblr, after my retirement.

#english dub #video games #japanese games #japanese voices

1 note · View note

bittysvalentines · 6 years

Text

About a bo(ner)y

For @polaroidpidge

From @fanaste

Pairing: Kent Parson/Jeff Troy

__________________

Kent flops down on the bed and it collapses beneath his weight.

Literally.

Kent flops down on the bed and it collapses beneath his weight.

Literally.

There’s a sharp snap half a second after Kent’s back hits the mattress and then the top right corner drops sending him rolling towards the side table at the head.

Both men freeze…well Kent has to stop rolling first but when he does he stares, stiff bodied, up at Jeff who stares back, wide eyed, and red faced. Both men blink shocked into silence until Jeff burst into peels of laughter. It bubbles up from his chest like champagne and Kent would enjoy the sound if he wasn’t so busy worrying about not only what they’re going to tell the hotel but what the other guys are gonna say when they find out.

Of course, in typical Kent fashion he’s not worrying about the right thing. The right thing being what Jeff’s going to say.

“Dude.” Jeff gasps bent double now to emphasise that it’s so hilarious it’s physically killing him, “No stop, stop.” He pants as if Kent is doing anything other than lying on the bed, one hand bracing himself so he doesn’t roll and hit his head on the headboard, and the other gripping the rucked-up comforter. “I can’t breathe. Stop.” Jeff wheezes.

Kent tries to roll the other way but the bed creaks dangerously. He tries it slower this time, but the creak persists.

“Dude.” He flaps, “Help me up.”

Jeff shakes his head wildly miming that he can’t.

“Fuck Swoops just help me up already. Suffocate on your own time.” Kent snaps though he knows it’ll only make Jeff laugh harder.

“Oh man.” Making a show of how much effort it is Jeff straightens up and wipes honest to god tears from his eyes, “I can just see the headlines now- “

“Don’t- “Kent moves but there’s an ominous creak from the left side.

“Kent Parson, glutes so ginormous standard hotel beds just won’t cut it.”

Kent dares to flip him off. “Your ass is bigger than mine man. The bed was obviously broken before we got here.”

“No one will believe that.” Jeff threatens.

“It was!” He squeaks. “Help me up man, before the Aces have to pay for a new bed.”

“Pretty sure it’s not gonna break the budget.”

“Dyson will think we were goofing around and won’t let us share again.”

Jeff hesitates, and for an awful second Kent thinks he’s gonna shrug like it doesn’t matter, like Kent can share with anyone else. He knows it wouldn’t be Jeff’s fault if he didn’t know how stressful that would be for Kent but at the same time he finds Jeff’s ignorance (entirely assumed and wholly unsubstantiated) irritating.

Instead of giving him more shit about being a fuss pot Jeff lopes around to the top of the bed and hoists up the right side so Kent can carefully (soooo careful) but quickly roll off. When his feet make contact with the carpet he feels like a sailor finally finding land after choppy seas.

No longer horizontal Kent can survey the scene in it’s ridiculous entirety.

“Shit.”

“Maybe if you sleep on the end, like across the bottom?” Jeff puts his hand on the base of the bed and the right bottom leg gives out. They exchange a look. “Or not.”

“The fuck were the people before us doing?

Jeff shoots him a ‘seriously?’ look. “Fucking probably.”

Kent makes a sound in the back of his throat. “It’s always fucking with you.”

“You don’t break a bed just by sleeping on it.”

“They could have been jumping on it…” Kent doesn’t know why he’s fighting with Jeff. It doesn’t change anything. “I can’t sleep on that.”

“Then I guess you better get right with the floor.” Jeff sniggers.

Kent looks at him brows drawn up in an incredulous arch, “I better what?”

Jeff doesn’t catch the vibe, “You better,” he throws his bag on his bed which mockingly stays sturdy beneath the weight, “start making a palette on the floor.”

The statement computes about as well as the first time he heard it. “Oh no. No, no, no.” Kent whistles, “I am your captain.”

Miss the hint once, shame on Kent, miss it twice and shame on Jeff. Jeff doesn’t miss the implication a second time. “What?” he does a double take, “No way. I am not sleeping on the floor!”

“I am your captain.” Kent repeats.

“You are also younger than me. Your back is better! Mine can’t take a hard floor.” He almost sounds smug about it like he’s so sure Kent gives a shit about his old man bones.

“Captain.” Kent points to himself.

“Older than you.” Jeff points to himself.

“Captain.” Kent repeats again.

“Fuck. Off.”

“Suicides or you give me the bed.”

Jeff’s outrage gives way to genuine uncertainty. “How about you knock it off man you’re starting to sound like a dick.”

Reluctantly Kent stops. He looks at the other bed and then at ‘his’ broken one. His back aches from rolling across the mattress and his butt and shoulder hurt from sitting on the plane for six hours. He sleeps like shit on planes he always has and a lifetime of being sent across state and country lines to various family members every holiday hockey would permit his mom hasn’t changed that. Kent sleeps in total silence, in complete blackness and on a bed that doesn’t make him feel like he’s on a tilt-a-whirl. He looks at the floor and his muscles groan just imagining the hardness of the ground beneath.

“I’m gonna have to get another room.”

Jeff’s unzipped his bag and started to shed his clothes in the time Kent’s taken to reflect on his woes. “All the rooms are booked up.” Jeff says from inside the collar of his shirt. Kent’s gaze gets caught on Jeff’s abs. His eyes briefly follow the trail that his navel hair marks all the way to his waistband and down. When Jeff frees himself from his clothing Kent’s expression betrays nothing.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. Dyson picked the smallest hotel he could. He’s filled it with Aces personnel only. After the Hudson debacle he isn’t taking any chances.”

Kent stares, “Debacle?”

Jeff pulls his pyjama top down, “It’s my word of the day.” He says defensively.

“Word of the day?” Kent repeats.

“Jas got me an app on my phone. It gives me a word to use every- don’t look at me like that you’re just jealous.”

Like Kent Jeff chose the NHL over college. It’s not a difficult decision. When scouts come calling, blowing smoke up your eighteen-year-old ass about money and fame, offering a life of eternal hockey everything else loses its appeal. Kent doesn’t regret it. College was never going to be for him, but Jeff does. Get him drunk enough and he’ll confess that against some of their higher educated rookies he feels like a dolt and with every year that passes he fears his lack of education is going to haunt him. Kent can imagine Jas passing the app off as a joke so that Jeff could easily accept it without having to admit that using these words makes him feel smart. Jeff would admit it’s silly really. The kind of education he missed out on can’t be encapsulated in a random word generating app, but Jas knew it would make him smile. Kent’s mad he didn’t think of it first. Not that he’s trying to out romance her or anything…

Of course, Kent doesn’t let on that he knows any of this and instead replies, “Of sounding like a giant nerd? Hardly.”

Jeff flips him off, “Whatever man. What if you took the mattress off?”

“There’s not enough room on the floor.”

“You could make a bed out of the blanket and duvet I guess…” Jeff says considering.

Kent scoffs, “Like a dog?”

Jeff gives him a smart grin “Exactly like a dog.”

Kent flips him off. “I’m not sleeping on the floor, so you better not fidget in the night.”

“You’ll never know.” Jeff replies decisively.

Just for that Kent gets into the good bed. He expects Jeff to run out of the bathroom as if he senses what Kent’s done but instead he hears the thunk of the toilet seat raise and then the familiar sound of Jeff peeing (it brings a certain clarity to your life when you realise the sound of your friends urinating is familiar).

Face pink from a fresh scrub Jeff emerges from the bathroom. “You’re not seriously suggesting we share?” He gapes.

Kent’s more than a little offended that Jeff sounds so horrified. It makes shrugging unapologetically and simply snapping, “Captain,” in answer, easier.

“This is an abuse of power!” Jeff declares.

“There’s no official rule book. How I captain is my prerogative.” He adds with a sniff.

The other man makes a protesting noise.

“Get over yourself Troy it’s one night.”

Jeff glances at the broken bed, then at the floor, then back at ‘their’ bed. “Move over Parson.”

Twenty minutes later one six feet and one five feet eleven, both two hundred pounds plus, hockey players are still trying to occupy a small double together.

“Scooch over!”

“Ugh you’re such a bed hog. I’m at the edge!”

“You are not! I’m hanging off the god damn mattress here.”

“This bed is too small for the both of us.” Jeff snaps.

“As your captain I demand you. Move. The. Fuck. Over.”

“As a tired man I demand you stop. Fucking. Trying to boss me. Around!”

“Jeff!”

“Kent!”

“You’re impossible.”

“Turn on your side and you’ll have more room.”

“I sleep best on my back.” Kent argues.

“I’ve shared a room with you enough times to know you always end up rolling onto your side. Just skip a few moves and do it now.”

“Why don’t you?” Kent snaps brattishly.

“I will but to fit we’re both gonna need to roll over.”

There’s a pause and then Kent feels compelled to say, “I’m not spooning you.”

Jeff makes a sound in the back of his throat, “Spare me the no homo bullshit Parson everyone knows you’re a cuddler.”

“The only thing I cuddle is Kit.”

“Not according to Watty.”

“He was cuddling me!” Kent squeaks indignant.

“Now how he tells it.” Jeff sniggers.

Kent puts his foot on Jeff’s leg. “Yow! What the hell? Get your ice toes away from me!”

“Both of us roll over so we’re back to back.”

The bed groans as both men turn. Kent has more of his body on the bed now, but he doesn’t have any less of Jeff’s. He feels Jeff’s not inconsiderable ass against his and it’s weird. Too familiar and yet…he doesn’t want to call Jeff out in case he moves. Besides if he moved they’d be back to their original problem and they can’t face each other because then their dicks would be touching. Not that Kent is averse to that, he reluctantly admits…okay not reluctant in the sense that he doesn’t want to fancy Jeff but in the sense that acknowledging it makes it harder to deny and, eventually, get over.

“Don’t hog the sheets.” Jeff says tugging the duvet over his side.

Kent tugs back, “Don’t fidget.”

- - - - -

Kent wakes up with a hard on. This in itself isn’t unusual. He’s young, he’s fit, he’s healthy and his libido is incorrigible.

But this hard on isn’t his. It’s Jeff’s and its pressed into his ass and Kent doesn’t find it unpleasant. In fact in that brief liquid moment between sleep and wakefulness he almost pushes himself back into it. He almost revels in the sensation of the hardness between his cheeks. Kent almost forgets that he and Jeff don’t share a bed. They don’t cuddle, or kiss, or rub up against each other in the night.

As the room solidifies around him he freezes with the reminder that he may be nursing a pretty stupid crush but that’s all it is. That’s all it’ll ever be.

Kent spends a few moments taking shallow breaths desperately trying not to move. He wonders if it’ll go away quickly but it feels like times determined to drag this moment out. He debates his options. To physical move will land him one of two places, on the floor or further into Jeff’s embrace. He knows which one he’d prefer but it isn’t going to happen.

It can’t.

The only thing left is to try and wake Jeff, so he takes a deep breath and sighs it out making sure to make it long and loud. He expands his ribs until they hurt and exhales until his belly touches his back.

Jeff doesn’t stir so Kent tries again. Except it doesn’t work, again. He moves his leg a fraction and it takes barely any distance before it slips out from under the covers to be kissed by the icy lips of the air. He brings his foot back with a gasp.

“Dude stop.” A voice croaks behind him.

Kent jumps and his foot jerks back out into the tundra. “shit.”

His exclamation is met with silence and then a mumbled “Crap.” From behind him. “So that’s happened.” Jeff tries to turn but Kent grips the covers. “I need to turn over.”

And I need to avoid frostbite, Kent thinks. “It’s fine.” He says rushing to reassure him even though a minute ago he was begging to have Jeff’s hard on far from him. “It happens.” He shrugs striving to sound unbothered.

“Yeah but- “

“But what?” Kent prompts only he’s met with more silence. “But what?” He thinks, “But it’s weird to have a boner in bed with your gay best friend? But it’s weird because you know I’ve got a thing for you, that sometimes I’m terrified I might be in love with you? But it’s weird because you don’t think I can control myself?”. Kent starts to spiral so he forces himself to close his eyes and imagines shutting the poisonous voice behind a steel door. “But what?” He asks again his belly clenching in anticipation.

“It’s not exactly cool to wake up pressing your stiffy into your best friends back.” Jeff says, and he sounds like he’s laughing. “There’s hardly any room in here as it is.” He snickers.

Kent’s whole body immediately relaxes. “It’s not that big.”

“Oh, you’ve had bigger?” Jeff snorts.

“Fuck off.” He presses his toe into Jeff’s calf.

“Ow.” He jerks and knees Kent in the ass. “Asshole.”

Kent laughs.

“I am sorry though.” Jeff says after a beat.

“Don’t be. It’s a testament to your youth.”

Jeff makes a doubtful little noise, “Or a sign of my desperation.”

Kent doesn’t say anything.

“Shit I didn’t mean – I didn’t mean that how it sounded.”

Kent scoffs like a part of him isn’t insulted, “You’d be lucky to attract me Troy.”

“Whatever,” Jeff says after a moment, “you’re still hung up on Zimmermann anyway.”

Kent feels the air around them start to shift. Maybe it’s the hour and the orange glow of the street lamps through net curtains that softens not only the edges of their room but also the edges of their walls, or maybe Kent really does hear the faint sound of mournfulness in Jeff’s voice. Whatever it is it makes him say, “Not really.”

“Not really?” Jeff sounds sceptical. “He seemed pretty important at New Year’s.”

True. “I was pretty fucked up at New Year’s.”

“So now you’re over him?”

Kent considers this before replying. Zimmermann was Kent’s first everything. First friend, first crush, first kiss then love. First everything. Jack and Kent used to mean something to each other. They were always together that even when people spoke about them they spoke about them as a pair. When Jack went to rehab and cut Kent off completely it felt like his heart had been blown up and his arm torn off. He alternated between frantic worry and numb disbelief that the boy he loved had abandoned him without a word.

But then he met Jeff and things changed.

He can’t even put his finger on how it changed but eventually his zombie days stopped and the frantic worry in his mind only ever came out after too many drinks. Of course, then he watched Jack Kiss Eric on the big screen in front of his whole team and that knocked him for six, but Jeff was there to help him pick up the pieces (read feed him bread in a bath tub until he sobered up).

That night between retches in the toilet Kent promised to really try and live life ‘after’ Jack Zimmermann.

The only problem was without Jack to moon over Kent had more time to realise that his feelings for Jeff were changing.

“Kent? You still awake?” Jeff whispers.

“Yeah. And…yeah, I think I’m closer to it now. Getting over him I mean.”

“Oh. Cool…I mean…that’s great.”

“Yeah.”

He hears Jeff take a big breath behind him. “So hypothetically.”

“Hypothetically? Is that another of your words of the day?” Kent teases.

Jeff pinches him. “Hypothetically if this boner was…personal what would that mean?”

Kent blinks, “What?”

“Do you really need me to repeat it?” Jeff huffs and Kent can imagine his ears growing red. He can hear the embarrassment he feels. But he doesn’t care, well he does but Jeff’s just said something that could potentially change everything. He needs to be sure of what he’s heard.

“Yeah I do.”

“It can be personal if you want. If you’re, like…into it.”

“Into it?”

“Fucking Christ Kent do you need me to spell it out?”

“Jeff all I know right now is that I woke up with your boner trying to poke a hole in my back and now you’re telling me that it might be personal but only if I want.”

“That about sums it up yeah.”

Kent considers this a moment. “If I don’t? Want it to be personal.”

“Then you’ll hang onto those covers and when I turn over I’ll try not to fall off the bed. Then in the morning we’ll pretend this never happened.”

Kent imagines that being about as possible as him going a whole shift without getting checked by the behemoth that the Kings have collared as defence. “And if I want it to be personal.”

“Do you?”

“Do I what?”

“Fuck Kent.” Jeff sighs. “Do you want it to be personal?”

When Kent pauses this time it’s not because he isn’t sure but because he never let himself dwell on it because Jeff’s straight, and Jeff has a girlfriend right now, a girlfriend that Kent loves and would never want to disrespect. “What about Jas?” He asks.

“We’ve talked about it.”

“You have?”

“All the time.”

“Wh- why?” Kent stutters.

“Because she knows what you mean to me. She knows that I- “he takes a deep breath, “That I want you. That I have for a while now.”

Kent wonders if Jeff’s ‘a while’ is the same as Kent’s a while.

“Same.” Kent whispers.

Jeff shifts behind him and the mattress rocks as he props himself up on an elbow, “Really?”

Kent fights not to turn his head, too afraid of rejection to look Jeff in the eye right now. “Yeah.”

“Kent?”

“Yeah?”

He feels Jeff’s hand on his shoulder and the next thing he knows he’s on his back and Jeff’s leaning over him and they’re kissing. It only takes Kent half a second to get with the programme but when he does Kent’s whole body feels it. Their tongues slide sensually together and Kent’s heart thunders beneath the palm Jeff’s laid on it for balance.

They break apart slowly, in increments, inch by inch until Kent can see the smile on Jeff’s face.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while.” He confesses.

Kent blushes. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Jeff laughs softly.

Kent breathes into the space between them then says, “What about Jas?”

“She wants me to be happy. She wants you to be happy.”

“And she thinks us together will make that happen?”

“Yeah. I think so. Don’t you?”

Kent wants to say yes. Honestly, it’s his first instinct to just agree but he knows himself. Kent knows what he does to the things that make him happy. He has a predisposition to ruin. “Is it okay if I say I don’t know yet?” he asks carefully.

“I’d be surprised if you didn’t. I know you Kent. You don’t believe in happiness.”

Kent pouts childishly, “I do.”

“Not for yourself.”

That’s a truth Kent can’t deny. “So, about this boner.” Kent says instead.

“Oh, it’s gone now.”

“That was short lived.”

Jeff laughs. “Well it’s game day tomorrow so it’s probably a good thing.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“Relax we’ve got ages. Tomorrow we’ll get up and hash it out yeah? Right now, I just wanna sleep with you in my arms. Sound good?”

Tomorrow the sun will rise, and the first thing Kent will do is worry that this moment never happened, that the spell of the dark will have worn off and Jeff will pretend this never happened. In the morning Jeff will reassure him with a kiss, with a lot of kisses and after the game he’ll invite Kent home for dinner where they’ll talk the whole thing to death and when it’s all finalised they’ll kiss and fall into bed together and Kent will eventually know what it’s like to be in a healthy relationship. But the dawn is four hours away and so right now Kent closes his eyes and cherishes the feel of Jeff’s skin beneath him, of his arm around his shoulder and his lips pressed to his forehead.

#polaroidpidge #fanfic #bv2018 #bittysvalentines #kentswoops

19 notes · View notes

charlie-ellott-viscom-blog · 6 years

Text

Poetry Brief: Reflection

At the start of this brief I learned the importance of the main elements and principles of design. They are used in every single piece of work, so they have to be fully understood in order to create the most visually captivating piece possible. Below is my research into the different elements and principles.

In design, space is defined as the areas around, between and within components in a piece of work. An example of this is the use of negative space to create subtle images. Negative space is the space around/between the subject(s) of an image. The subject of an image is called the positive space.

Repetition is used in design to give a sense of consistency and cohesiveness. It is simply the repeating of the same elements throughout a design. One of the most famous uses of repetition is Andy Warhol’s pop-art work. The iconic image of Marilyn Monroe is known everywhere for it’s bright and colourful repetitive pattern of faces.

Balance in design is all about placing components specifically to create an aesthetically pleasing arrangement. There are two forms of balance in design; formal and informal. Formal balance is when both sides of a design are symmetrical, in terms of arrangement. Informal balance is when the two sides aren’t symmetrical, but the design is still balanced. Balance can also be one of three types; horizontal, vertical and radial.

Contrast in design is one of the most aesthetically pleasing principles, in my opinion. It is just the use of completely different components in the same design, but when it’s done well, it is captivating. Whether it’s colour, text or images, we like it. One of the most famous examples of contrast being use to draw attention is in Apple’s iconic iPod adverts. They used a brightly coloured background with a blacked-out silhouette of a person wearing bright white earphones connected to a white iPod. This immediately makes you focus on the white iPod, the product that they were aiming to sell.

Shapes are the 2D areas in an image. They can be either geometric or free-form/organic. Geometric shapes are more regular, like squares and circles. Organic shapes are irregular and random, and are harder to replicate. Shapes are often found in infographics, such as the work of Fernando Volken Togni.

Lines are possibly one of the most fundamental aspects of all design work. They can be horizontal, vertical, diagonal, curved or even zigzag. They’re used by every type of designer as the basis of any piece of work.

Texture refers to the way that things look or feel. In design, it means exactly the same. Where fashion designers might make clothes feel a certain way, graphic designers can do the same by creating digital textures.

Direction is found in all designs, no matter how subtle. It is used to reflect the tone of the design. There are three different types, each with a different intention. Horizontal direction implies stability and calmness, and vertical direction suggests a certain formality. Oblique direction, however, gives a sense of action or movement.

Our first day-brief was to experiment with letters and how they are created and used. First we had to create a collage using cut and paste techniques, and also letterpress techniques. I then put mine through the risograph machine, which made it look so much better. Then we had to draw wooden letterforms, and annotate them with the various parts of letters. This was very educational; I never knew how complex letters were before this.

I then went on to look at how these principles and techniques are used in editorial design following the next day-brief. We were tasked with creating a front cover and two double page spreads for an architecture magazine called Arkitekt. I enjoyed this brief as I got to use InDesign for the first time ever. I’m happy with my final magazine, especially the logo. I spent a long time doing a two-point perspective drawing - also for the first time - of the word Arkitekt. Despite this success, if I was to go back and change anything it would be the front cover. I feel that the layout and balance of images is incorrect, and should be redesigned completely.

Moving onto the final and main brief, I had to design a poster to celebrate a chosen poet/poem for International Poetry Day on March 21st 2018. After much deliberation, I chose Snow by Louis MacNeice as my poem. My initial thought after reading the poem was to create some kind of window, with the poem outside in the snow and huge, warm roses on the inside. This seemed like a great idea, especially since we had been tasked to incorporate a 3D element into it. However, I soon realised that this idea was impractical, and had to move on. I then started researching into concrete poetry, and thought that my poem would look great in the shape of a snowflake. I began using a typewriter to write out the poem and other key words, and it looked so aesthetically appealing I knew I had to include it. This led to me using a combination of my own typewritten words and the font American Typewriter to create the timeless, classic feel of the poem. I kept the poster in black and white, also to portray an old-timely feel. I felt that this worked so well, so after a few tweaks it was complete.

I then went on to experiment with the risograph machine, turning my poster red and purple. However the snowflakes got lost in the colour, and it took away the classic feel of the poster, so I kept it the same as before. Despite this, I would really like to use the machine in the future, because it has the potential to be one of my favourite techniques.

My inspiration for this poster came from two main places; a lecture by my tutors, and my research into artist Ian Hamilton Finlay. Jane Anderson and Ally Standing gave a lecture called Type As Image, which I found fascinating. I especially liked the work of Ji Lee, who very cleverly used words as images. This inspired my concrete snowflake idea. As well as this, Ian Hamilton Finlay was a Scottish poet and artist. He used concrete poetry to create strangely enthralling designs, which is something that I wanted to replicate.

In summary, I am pleased with and proud of the poster that I created. I feel that it fits the brief and also would catch my eye if I passed it on the street. I have learned lots of techniques that I will definitely use again in the future.

#essay poetry brief l4bcu

0 notes