#it sucks i dont remember any of it but

[evelili]

my right arm is so fucked rn lmao this is what always happens, arm gets better -> i start Doing More Things -> i Do Things For Far Too Long -> arm gets worse -> i get depressed bc i Can’t Do Things -> i don’t Do Things -> arm gets better -> repeat forever

nyways, gonna keep plugging away at comms, then unearth the corpse of the last request sitting in my inbox since march, then alternate between ignoring my thesis and Being Completely Normal About Twilight Sparkle, wish me luck

#in other news bc i was reminded by some server chats yesterday i got out my old harmony books #it sucks i dont remember any of it but #i still looked through one and could convince myself i can still relearn it #the first time i touched composition in nearly 5 years was for my magnum opus #and that was terrifying. but i did it anyways #and i tried again tonite even if it was shitty and i still cant get things to sound the way i used to #i am too stubborn to let this affect me anymore #the 5 year anniversary was last month and i refuse to b in the same place for the 6th #nyways!!! i have no time and my sleep schedules fucked i hope yall r having a better time than me #lili talking

[snekdood]

There are genuinely people online that instead of actually bringing people to the left, at this point, would prefer that anyone who was previously not on the left but who tries to be *stays* outside of the left, because i guess its just easier to comprehend when the world is put into little shitty boxes you labeled for them instead of actually thinking for once and having the nuance to understand them. Like thats wild to me that theres people who would prefer you not be on the left or not try to be. Yall GENUINELY do not care about advocating for your side politically in any capacity. Its LITERALLY just a clique you've found yourself in. And theres nothing progressive about that or being exclusive, wtf do you think this shit is, a night club? Grow the fuck up, honestly.

#A whole lot easier to consistently point and laugh at the same person than to ever encourage them to change i guess #yall are weak #Yall wont get us anywhere and actively hurt progressive causes #And the worst part is most of the ppl like this are on tumblr and a lot of the people on tumblr absolutely suck as human beings #and never want to do anything about it either partially because they think theyre above any form of therapy 🙄 #Idk. maybe its a comfort thing. Like things have to be exactly how they remembered them the day before or else they'll idk lose their mind #Like some of yall would prefer the world stays black and white and thats sad #Lets be honest. What it really is is you dont want to have to feel any potential guilt for treating someone as if theyre just #discardable trash when they werent. #Bc ur just oooohhh soooo perfeccctttt and it just fucks with your self perception when someone even inadvertently suggests #you did something wrong lmao. #yall wont survive in this world

[opens-up-4-nobody]

God. The thing abt the uchiha is that. Yes. It was fucked up that no one trusted them and they got pushed further and further from the village center. However. They were also a clan of ninja cops with fucked up magical eyes that they supercharge by getting horrifically traumatized. So like. I also would not fucking trust them.

#like maybe its just that ive been too influenced my senju propaganda but i just think the uchiha as a clan kinda fucking suck #at least by the time we get to sasuke's dad leading things. they seemed fine when madara joined with the village #so its just that the resentment at feeling pushed out has risin by then. and maybe im not remembering things right but like Tobirama #made them the cops right? and they got pissed that they weren't given any political power but like u get so much fucking power as the polic #? and also it just seems like the worst fucking idea to put that all on one clan. like THE WORST job u could give to 1 clan of fucked up #eyeball freaks. and i can never tell if they r legitimately being prejudiced against but like they kida have good reason not to trust them #bc they were legit gonna overthrow the government. so like where did it start? i just kinda feel like they think theyre entitled to power #but r also intentionally standoffish to outsiders. but again maybe im just biased bc i dont like Sasukes dad and the nameless uchiha so muc #ugh. its too messy and its all built on the back of what may or may not have been a slight against them. and the rift just kept getting #wider. i mean knowing Tobirama it was probably a slight... but idk im not power hungry enough to understand y they got so mad abt it #konoha. the village in which everyone sucks and the children suffer. #naruto ramblings #naruto

[road2manjuumaster]

that one arashi post about presenting her as overtly feminine in fan media but not in a "trans women are only valid if they conform to traditional femininity" kinda way and more in a "happyele are a bunch of pussies for having a trans woman imply/state she wants to be more feminine in every sense of the word and then never letting her do so beyond socially" kinda way

#i cant remember if i rbd that on my old blog or this one?? #but i am Thinking about it again #its smth i always try to be conscious about?? bc as a more man-leaning person i do not present masc 90% of the time #and i rlly dont feel pressured to present a certain way since im kinda all over the place when it comes to gender #and with arashi its like. the opposite?? like she feels pressured to present more masculine bc of her public status #but she WANTS to wear cute dresses and flowy skirts and big puffy blouses with obnoxiously large bows #the long hair is non negotiable i give all my faves a mullet whether they want it or not #i blame axel kingdom hearts for starting that trend #ensemble stars #enstars #arashi narukami #AND SOCIAL TRANSITION IS JUST AS IMPORTANT AS ANY OTHER KIND #and for a lot of trans ppl thats enough! #but she is v clear about wanting to fit a more traditional feminine image bc she WANTS to. NOT bc shes EXPECTED to. #ok thats it i always get defensive for literally no reason whenever i draw her #i think its bc hiyori is there too and i feel like i dont make her as fem looking??? i just suck at drawing women idk man #if youre not androgynous/slightly fem looking or literally built like yoshiya kiryu i cannot draw you sorry #iamtryingforchiakiiamTRYING

[metukika]

post canon/future teru... single mother with no children idk

#that or he first meets reigen in on the subway - isnt recognized - blurts “reigen!” and when he gets his feelings hurt hes like uh yeah im #a past costumer and ur massages sucked thats how i remember u and then the next chance meeting reigen is desperate to not have customers #with bad experiences that hes like heres my business card call me for half off next visit i totally remember u now customer i will not name #totally didnt forget and teru who feels guilty cuz he only lashed out for feeling rejection or any emotion for the first time in years the #last time they met is like uhhhm u dont have to do that i was just saying stuff but reigen is already Committed so teru is like ok... but h #throws out the card when he gets to his apartment cuz seeing people from his past is making him feel strange and he doesnt have the time fo #that shit he has a job now! and his neighbors gf - a superstitious lady - finds it and is like FATE! so reigen is called cuz teru keeps #opening the door to his home while invisible to avoid conversation with this guy who hurt his feelings once and yeah more stuff #anyways #mob psycho 100 #teruki hanazawa #reigen arataka #metukikart #mp100

[sonknuxadow]

these thumbnails are kinda funny to see next to eachother ngl

#like the difference in reaction from sonic here #though i guess the context is also different because in the sonic prime scene sonic is the one hugging shadow #and i dont remember exactly wahts going on in that sonic x scene but sonic doenst look like the one who initiated the hug there #anyway sucks that they only have 2 seasons of sonic x i have to wonder how many people dont even know theres a 3rd season #because they watched it on netflix and didnt look into it any further #also the fact that they dont even have the original japanese version on netflix either #when the english dub changed/censored a lot of stuff especially in more serious scenes. SAD !

[liquidstar]

Oh fuck tomorrow I'm going to be a little birthday boy I keep almost forgetting

#it's probably bc i dont have specific plans im just playing it by ear based on how the newborn will be #(the amount of time I'll be needed w the other kids basically depends on how much sleep the parents got the night before lol) #so i dont wanna be out too late... ahh i miss the club bro i wanna go #i love kids just to be clear which is why i do this but i also think I've gotten any child rearing out of my system #so i dont want my own. in a way it's freeing bc my future will just be for me and i won't have to worry about this stuff long term lol #ah but if I'm free on the 4th theres also something else i wanna do so maybe i shouldn't get drunk anyway #maybe just wait for the next free day 🤷‍♂️ we'll see #I've been highover BAD though shit lasted until like 8pm the next day. and i had to take the day off w the kids #luckily there happened to be other family there that took over but dude it sucked. i remember trying to help them in the morning like #ok sorry 4 year old trying to find pants i have to lay down in your bed you can do it by yourself i believe in you #so. taking the day off was a good call for their sakes too lol #he was fine just to be clear he could've done it on his own either way. i was just unhelpful 😅 i promise im usually way more attentive

[stealingpotatoes]

Idk if Ur with the AC fandom anymore, but if you were to make a game what era would it be in and who would the protagonist be? An existing character or an oc?

EASY! MY NUMBER ONE WOULD BE EARLY AUGUSTAN ROME/ AUGUSTUS' RISE TO POWER!!!!! bc that's a DIRECT sequel to origins but is the hidden ones' first real defeat n stuff and also i love augustan rome so much. with either aya or my (slightly neglected) oc sabinia who's aya's protege as protagonist!!!!!!

#also this is rlly funny timing cause tomorrow's queued Art is asscreed LOL #u knew... we braincelled... #i dont have any other ideas cause asscreed's already covered the rest of my fave historical eras LOL #thanks for the ask! #sorry sabinia i have neglected u. i vaguely remember her story but it sucked ass so im choosing not to try remember it better #but i <3 origins sm and i <3 aya sm and i <3 rome sm

[commander-gloryforge]

.

#damn . if i like. ever did something wrong i wonder why they dont just talk to me about it #like idk i thought when they like. vagued about *someone* i had to convince myself that it wasnt me #like i literally went through our messages to make sure i didnt say anything wrong #but apparently it was me after all? i just wish they wouldve. idk. talked to me about it #it feels so hypocritical? why are you allowed to say what you think and im not #unless i actually did what you claimed but i cant remember this happening nor can i find messages where it happens #and even then instead of vaguing about me when you know im not doing well you can just approach me #or is there a whole different reason? do you avoid me because of something else? am i just not on your level after all? #if it was any other person i wouldnt have cared so much but they were one of the first friends i made there #we worked out so well in the beginning and now you realised im not who you thought i was and instantly replaced me #why does this shit ALWAYS happen to me? is there something wrong with me or is it everyone around me? #this is why i dont approach people. this is why im so intimidated by others. it doesnt work. ill always end up being less. #everyone always ends up being better and more and i am the replacable one. idk. just sucks

[bitchkay]

I prefer Guys characterization in the princes path rather then his consort route

I feel like all the routes should've progressed slower tbh but with Guy in particular I feel like it would really work with a slow burn romance

Also, unrelated but MC always falls in love with her chosen consort by chapter 10 like girl you've known this man for 2 weeks

#also the length of time each path spans isn't clear therefore it either feels too fast paced or soon #i kinda wish book 1 consort routes were more figurative like still focused on the progression of their relationship and character developmen #but less focused on the actual establishing of the relationship if that makes any sense #i guess it would have to be different for different characters and the overall dynamic of the relationship but regardless #with 30 chapters + 3 interludes and your chosen ending you would think you can do alot with that #cus 30 chapters is alot and 5 story parts per chapter too #i dont think alot of the stories need tp change if im being honest now #but imagine if each chapter included more subtance not to mention detail to clarify alot of things #overall I thing the book 1 consort routes to felt really filling were Roy or Toa #or maybe knight i remember the first time I read knights route like i was watching a movie cus i ended up really sucked into the story #and the lore of it too #same with Roy #i wish there was more side plot to the consort route cus realistically im not thinking about or doing the same thing everyday even if im #set on a specific path and moving forward towards a goal if that makes any sense #the path or goal in this case being cuffing one if these ridiculously hot men yk like im not gonna be thinking about this man every second #of the goddamn day no #court of darkness #kay just saying shit

[hoodiedeer]

i dont feel like an artist anymore

#i draw like once every month or two #even if i remember how to draw my style sucks and isnt really going anywhere #i cant make interesting ocs or fursonas in any way and dont even have many #my whole life at this point is wishing i had even the motivation to try anything anyone else i see doing #and sleeping all day instead #delete later

[alligaytorswamp]

spine issues

#consider this pt 3 to my handy dandy saga #i was supposed to go to a doc on wednesday but somehow suddenly there was a whole doc available today in a different place #anyways i got all to anxious about this whole thing so now i dont remember half if it #the doc was goofy.. but at my expense... which sucked.. :) #anyways he said it's my spine .. neck.. neck part of spine idk #and it's oh so typical and normal and not so bad in my case #got scans of my bones yeaaaa #a woman at the reception was a total hs bully trope girliepop that did not make mood better #i lost a lil thing that closes my piercing bc i had to take everything i got off my ears for the scan and naturally my hands were shaking #and now im home and i have no idea if im making any sense #conclusion: my spine is not very good. gotta receive the scans. he gonna look at them. prolly bully me AGAIN #(did not feel good in my overly anxious state) #and then um.. i think the point is just to exercise and shit #yippie i am not dying like my brain was assuming this entire time <3 #i am just bad at sitting and also spend too much time at my puter (boo!!!) #adry.txt

[classicjdiesandgoestohell]

its interesting when ppl start discussing the experience u have had your entire life and calling it transphobic and stuff 👆 like damn ive been telling people this for years and now im rethinking everything

#the thing in question is saying you like everyone but cis men #ive been sayin this for many years. i just dont. or maybe i do but its such an intangible thing id never date one idk #but i saw someone discussing how excluding cis men others trans women (dont remember exact) phrasing and idk #i kinda saw their point #i still feel like i like everyone but cis men tho #i have had crushes on n dated cis girls transmascs n transfems #i dated a cis guy once but it was very.. if u know me u know i have obsessions with people and those can happen regardless of gender #it seemed to be one of those #before and after that cis men haven't even been in the question of attraction #maybe the fact i have one exception proves i actually do like them or something i dunno #ive also had the dilemma plenty where i want to just call myself lesbian but that sucks 2 any trans men i like so. i go back n forth on that #but i like to have some sort of warning sign on me that says If You Are A Cis Man Do Not Even Try To Date Me #bc cis men liking me irl makes me GAG dude i fucking cant handle it at all #the cis guy i dated was online so like. i could avoid the gag factor i think #but idk #that experience made me realize i could never ever date a cis man again which is classic lesbian expetience 77292929 #it is not for me! #lucky strike

[the-acid-pear]

I never tried the option myself bc it'd probably mean skipping the Reason You Suck speech at the end (fire for speedrunners though) but I Love that you can frame your Phoneys in 3, especially so if you've already killed the previous two. Like yeah couldn't send you off to die so i'll let the goverment do it for me 🧸 like its just Peak evil imo.

#luly talks #i do relinquish in the pain and the agony but dont get me wrong the thought of any of them 3 getting jailed makes me SO sad #rog esp since he's the one im writing about and the biggest nerve wreck #gingi voice they'll be the last one to pick the board game for prison-game-night.......... #actually yknow i wonder if rog would end up almost believing it after all when you try to gaslight him for the shits and giggles #(as in: telling HE was victim of the bite of 87 and the like) he tells you to not do that bc his brain is already scrambled or something #so there's a chance perhaps he'd believe it if he had everyone constantly accussing him of it? #not like it'd matter much i have no hopes for the dsaf justice system i know its been 35 years since jack got framed but still #i just remembered when the option popped up i said ''god im really becoming steven 😭'' #first time i made the joke too was when i said ''imagine your boss sucks so bad you turn suicidal'' no clue what the context was #OH YEAH JAKE SAYING HE'D RATHER FUCKING DIE THAN KEEP WORKING HERE yeah. poor guy. #anyway im derailing my own post again uhhh. yeah. yeah i dont trust any phoney is avoiding the death sentence #dsaf #roger jones #dsaf roger #btw just for the sake of yapping longer i truly cant decide whether harry or jake would survive better in the enviroment #probably jake to be honest. I mean Harry has a lot of experience inside freddy's but he didnt really live outside it muhc #jake is so confrontational though #hey did you guys watch the hit movie felon? sure that guy wasn't framed but. i feel like jake would end up w that attitude #except for. you know. everything else that happens in the hit movie felon. #hey actually forget about this game go watch the 10/10 movie Felon from 2008 starring Val Kilmer and Stephen Dorff #because its one of my all time fave movies and probably the saddest i've seen #not bc there arent movies that are more tragic but bc no movie was able to break thru my walls of idgaf and make me cry anyway #yeah you thought i couldnt bring up my movie fixations on my different fandom posts well you were WRONG in fact #im gonna go tag my other post i left untagged yesterday bc my ass was Cooking

[snobgoblin]

also pro tip from me being less insecure/having better control of your anger doesn't mean "I never feel this way" it just means "I can deal with it better now and don't go with my first instinct anymore" so like don't feel bad if you still feel shitty or angry or sad. I'm not a therapist but like. you probably always will. and you just gotta remember it's gonna be fine and the last thing you wanna do is take it out on anyone. don't bottle it up. but never take it out on anyone. it's ok to feel like a jerk. just don't be a jerk and you'll be fine

#does this make sense. idk #anyway ive had to learn this the hard way 48392939 times i hope this helps someone #like- if you need a more specific example dont go to your friends like 'you guys hate me you always make me feel left out you guys suck' #calmly be like. hey i feel upset when you do x #can you please stop doing it? and if they dont. theyre not your friend #like... i guess try to remember people arent out to get you all the time #and any resentment you feel is likely a misunderstanding and you can work it out calmly #you can still be upset. just dont be accusatory. explain your viewpoint

[loyalhorror]

oh yeah i did watch my papa slowly deteriorate from dementia and die, didn't i

i always forget about that. what a blip on the trauma radar.

#rat.exe #i always wonder why i dont remember much of 2018-2019 and its like ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh right. #dementia tw #though tbh i feel like i say that about every year KLSNFKJSDN #it's not really that any year was worse than the others... nor did all of them Suck All The Time #it's just that there were bad things happening a lot skdjfnkfjg #(and even just like. uni stress in 2016-2018 sucked absolute BALLS)