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thefluxqueen · 1 year

Note

HIIII :) here to ask about the abyss tell me about it please please please love this sort of thing :3

HAIIII welcome :) to preface this im normal i swear. anyway The Abyss is what i like ta call my Horrible Horrible Maze, i made it w/ the goal of making the worst possible experience in minecraft to torment my friends ^_^

I enjoy putting people in situations and studying them :D

On that note! everyone who runs the abyss (24 people at current count) I time and write a couple notes on them! the abyss is honestly half maze half personality test LMAO. at current moment the quickest time goes to @ghostpajamas with a baffling 03:24 (wild that he got out so quick, i win tho cause i haunt his dreams), and longest goes to the beloved @rendogdomesticated with 1:35:54 <3 special shout out ta my dearest @theoctagon tho wolff ur insane i love u. guy goes inta the abyss for fun and has like 10 pages and counting of insane person phsyical notes tryna map it out (hes reported that hes gone through the first one 60 times and the 2nd one 5 jesus chriiiistttt). the abyss is fond of Pilot :) also if wolff is the favourite than @potionofinstantdamage is the Least favourite, rude ass set the place on fire when he got stuck in there :( oof ouchie

Highlights from my notes include @quack-city running backwards and upon me asking Why, simply replied “what if there’s slenderman :(‘ ... cant argue w/ that! he also hadda stop mid run so we decided its funnier if he’s just stuck in there forever. @newtbeetle was in there for like an hour and would NOT shut up about Paul Dano the whole time which was a time (love u beebs. ur isnane). my two test runners are @kishdoodles and @officialgleamstar and they had about the same time but like Opposite reactions it was very funny, kish treated it like they were a streamer n kept a like constant chatter, and travvy was like DEAD silent the whole time n Intensely focused akjewkjr tbh outta all 24 runners trav’s been prob the most like, methotical bout it? LIKE I SAID personality test. i Love studying people.

In regards to its origins I came up w/ the idea back in like feb/march ish of this year and from start to finish it took me like 2 weeks ish i was on the Grind. u dont understnad how much black concrete this thing took. hell on earth,,, darkwoods has an economy/shopping district and i bought out like All the sand/gravel available akjwekjr the rest i hadda gather myself n God gravel sucks. also ive killed So Many Squids. the 2nd abyss was much easier ta gather supplies for cause i could ask for help w/ supplies n i kept the first one a Complete secret minus my test runners (i hadda bitch at SOMEONE while makin it or i wouldve died i think. speakin of the first abyss has a death count of 13 and the 2nd one has like, 5 or somefin? rlly shouldve writen that down akjwerjk those are Entirely me dying in the process of buildin them btw. its not a true Spain Build unless its mildly dangerous <3) The 2nd one also made me learn redstone, notably i specifically studied Tango’s decked out process vids from s7, tho i really only stole like two aspects of it n i couldnt even get one ta work properly LMAO

The second abyss took me like, wayy longer ta make, bout two months ish (i finished it like mid july). not necessarily in actual like, time spent building but cause in the process of makin it i had Two month long events i was in (Voiceteam in may and Art fight in july) so that distracted me a bit wkwnekeneie Im a bit more secretive bout the second abyss in general since not That many people have actually ran it compared ta the first n theres actually like, Things that can be spoiled in there <3 i like seein peep’s initial reactions its much more satisfying.

This didnt happen w/ everyone but i think a like, Core part of running the abyss is getting emotionally attached ta weird things. i wouldve said just torches until a few days ago when Tac (onea the rat server mods) ran it and claimed the stack of pumpkin pies i gave her as family. But Prior Ta That several people have had very intense emotions bout the redstone torches, whether love or hate or both, key example ft dog:

Also not everyone ive mentioned on this post is in darkwoods! ive got a server i world editted the abyss inta so non-server members can run it for fun and profit (more data for me) :) on that note ive been slowly infecting the rat gang server cause my friend’s in there alot n another friend of mine’s a mod so peeps in there’ve been runnin it lately :) shout out ta TalonMC for lettin me subject him ta the Horrors literally our first conversation, onea my more fun first impressions i’d say

In regards to lore the abyss is a parasitic entity that infects anyone who gets stuck in there n slowly compells them ta go build their own lmao. note that ive only called the second abyss the Second one and not Abyss 2, because its technically just The Abyss as well cause theres many of them i just made it second wowjdkenejd (a real example of this is Wolff gettin obsessed w/ the abyss n then goin n buildin his own build called the Tower :) very excited bout that) The Abyss has a weird like fucked up warlock bond w/ my goddess oc The Overseer :D Her design’s vaugely based off my irl friend @hotcollectionoftubs cause her creation The Hole on a creative world her n some other friends of mine are on was onea the main insperations for certain aspects of the abyss’ lore :D mainly the teal in the colour palette and the whole ‘the [hole/abyss] provides’ thing.

(my reference images for her and 3rd pic's art i commissioned from the Lovely @opuntie):

my darkwoods chara, Snake, is a whole nother bag entirely (basic gist is they’re a dimension traveler not by choice and darkwoods is the 3rd world theyve been in, their deal’s worth a whole post of its own lmao) i built the first abyss entirely unrelated ta my chara just as like, fun weird build ta torment my friends w/o yaknow? but then as i was buildin the 2nd one i was like hmmmmmm. alotta things could make sense if i made this one built by Snake. so their retirement arc on darkwoods turned inta even MORE trauma! wahoo! poor guy deserves a break,,, (he will not be getting one).

(pre abyss + post abyss. i gotta properly draw pre-darkwoods Snake at some point but this dudes changed Alot ill say that lmao. both crops from bigger pieces on my art blog @fluxydrawings)

Anyway thats basically it! ive got more details and things locked in my brain ill probably remember in like 2 days after postin this so theres a chance ill reblog this w/ extra shit later lmao, sides that tho the abyss is my babygirl n thank yall for showin interest ^_^

Memes n shit to end us off:

#Inbox #darkwoods smp #the abyss #t3rm1nus #anonymous #not puttin this under a read more. look upon my creation boy.#ive been writing this post for like. 2 days kjawekjrkwekj its like 1.1k words or some shit #i have So many thoughts bout the abyss at all times #also too lazy ta add ta the post more but im workin on a Secret Third Thing called The Coil that isnt an abyss but it IS the like. spiritua #l successor #the goddess of the coil is the Overseer's ex wife <3 for fun <3 #i should rlly like. add up the average time for the abyss cause theres a Lotta variety #shout outs ta my bestie Kelly for gettin the 2nd quickest time and fellow darkwoods member Fuzzy for gettin the 2nd longest time akjwekjrkj #spain speaks

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bigtittybitch10 · 3 years

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My Kook Princess - John B

REQUESTED: no

Story Plot: John B can't help but fall in love with the Kook. She was part of Rafe, Topper, and Kelce's friend group. Y/N can't help but fall for the Pogue but what happens when Topper finds out the girl he had been in love with since the 6th grade has eyes on the boy from the Cut.

Y/N POV

Me and the rest of the boys were walking around the beach. I was on the end next to Topper, every now and then we would "accidentally" bump into each other making the other one laugh.

"Y/N that hurt!" Topper yelled being dramatic after I slapped his shoulder after he made a joke about me being too short to hang with the big boys.

"Good," I said back to him while sticking my tongue out.

As we were walking down the beach some more I see some of the pogues hanging out with each other. John B and J were chasing Kie around with what looked like a squid. I couldn't help but be jealous of their friend group. Ya I love my friends and we have fun but there's a difference between us. They are carefree and feel like they have nothing to lose but let loose a little, while the boys and I have everything to lose but one little slip-up. We have an image to uphold which has kept most of us from having genuine fun our whole life.

TIME SKIP

It's now night time and we decided to go to a Kegger that was at the boneyard. I decided on wearing a swim top and some shorts over not giving too much effort.

I was a beer down and not feeling anything when I started to hear Topper and JJ yelling at each other. I quickly ran to where the commotion was happening when I saw Topper on top of John B holding him into the water. I instantly jumped into action trying my best to get Topper to stop.

"Topper get the fuck off of him NOW!" I yell at him while trying to pull him off which only resulted in him taking one of his hands off John B and hit me away just a little too hard which resulted in me getting hit in the face instantly making my nose bleed. At this point, all hell broke loose. Rafe got pissed at Topper for hurting me and JJ pulled out a gun and held it to Topper's head. Sarah was yelling at JJ to put the gun down and Topper was freaking out which resulted in him letting go of John B and getting up and running away with the rest of the Kooks. I didn't have time to get up and follow so I just sat down and tried to get my nose to stop bleeding so I could get up and head home.

"Im gonna leave in a minute," I lightly whisper to the pogues. Kie ran over to me to check on me knowing I was hurt. She instantly took her shirt off and stuck the cloth to my nose to try and help it to stop bleeding.

"You don't have to go," she said softly to me.

"You should go check on your friend," I tell her while looking down.

"Y/N we have known each other since we were in diapers and if you haven't forgotten we used to be best friends, and for all I care I never stopped caring about you," Kie tells me which only made me tear up and pull her into a hug.

"Stay with us tonight," Kie tells me while pulling away and ruffling my already messy hair. I just nod my head and get up and walk with her over to the rest of the boys.

"She's cool," Kie sassed JJ after he made a shady comment about me being a Kook.

"Fine she can stay but she's sleeping outside," JJ said while looking at me in disgust.

"She's not a fucking dog JJ you cant make her sleep outside," Pope said standing up for me.

Once we made it back to John B's we went inside and Kie took me into the bathroom and sat me on the counter to check my nose. It had finally stopped bleeding so she got out a cloth and some warm water to clean my nose which only made me wince in pain. All the sudden John be appears in the door holding an ice pack.

"Ill be back Im gonna grab her some clothes from your room," Kie tells John B which makes him nod his head. John B walks in and gently places the ice pack on my nose.

"Im sorry about him," I tell John B while looking into his eyes.

"He's always like that and to be completely honest Im used to it," John B tells me which only made me sadder.

"It is, not something you should be used to and I wish I wasn't so blind for all these years," I tell him which results in him pulling me into a hug.

"He's smart about his actions, he's only like that when you arent around or close," He tells me which makes me nod my head but not feeling any better about the situation.

For the next week instead of hanging out with the boys, I would find myself with the Pogues and for once in my life I was genuinely happy. JJ had come around and realized I was kinda okay. But we all know he secretly has a soft spot for me but refuses to show it.

One day we decided to go to The Wreck and get some food after I offered to pay for everyone. While we where sitting down I see out of the corner of my eye Topper and Rafe walk in.

"Fuck'" I whisper under my breath which made the rest of the pogues follow my eyes and see what I was looking at which resulted in them all groaning knowing all hell was about to break loose when they realize their Kook Princess was sitting pretty with the 'dirty' pogues.

Topper instantly made eye contact with me and if looks could kill we would all be dead and dismembered by now. He stomps his way over to all of us clearly pissed at the situation.

"Are you fucking kidding me Y/N, you said you were sick. I mean clearly, you are if you're sitting so comfortable with some nasty pogues," Topper said to me with venom in his voice.

"I needed a break from you after what happened," I tell him while standing up refusing to let Topper intimidate me.

"A break so you come and hang out with them, Y/N that's literally social suicide," Topper said while taking a step closer which resulted in both JJ and John B standing up and getting ready if something were to happen.

"Id rather commits social suicide than deal with you for one more day," I tell him while looking him straight in the eye.

"You're fucking ridiculous, you know that," he said while looking me back straight in the eye.

"I don't care, their my friends and for once in my life I'm actually having fun not having to worry about all eyes on me," I tell him back. With that Topper just pushes me and walks away which resulted in JJ charging Topper and John B coming over to me to make sure I was okay. I just cried into his chest, I wasn't physically hurt but emotionally. John B knew that so all he did was hold me while JJ went to deal with Topper making Poper and Kie run over to him pulling him away.

"Oh look at the little slut homie hoping," Topper said while barely giving me a glance.

"Fuck off Topper," I reply back to him while making eye contact.

"I just can't believe after all these years of me trying to get you to love me back it takes less than a week for you to get into his pants," Topper said to me which only made me confused.

"Leave me alone," is all I said before slamming some money on the table and making my way out of The Wreck, and waiting for the rest of the group to come to the van so I could get in.

Later that night I was laying in bed with John B while lightly talking about nothing important. All of a sudden I got the urge to lean up and kiss him. Which resulted in a long make-out session which only ended when JJ caught us.

"OH MY! Finally," JJ laughed while walking out and back towards the living room when we hear the rest of them erupt into cheers letting us know he had told the group.

"Will you be mine?" John B asked me which made me nod my head and give him a kiss again.

"Good," John B says while kissing me back.

---------------

WORD COUNT: 1487

I hope you all enjoyed!

#John B #John B imagines #Topper #obx #Obx imagines #outer banks #outer banks imagine #jj #kie #pope #rafe cameron

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huntsman-ash · 3 years

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LiveThoughts: RWBY V8E6

Second attempt at this since last time Chrome just DIED for no reason...

Im going to put literally the entire thing with Cinder under one note; Called it.

Its a great set of stuff, sure, but it doesnt relaly tell us anything we didnt already know about Cinder, and I personally feel it doesnt really explain why she turned out the way she did. I feel like we’ve had another weird twist of the situation again...M+K? Coronas fault? Who knows. Either way, this section isnt great by my taste and I kinda skipped most of it.

Few things to note though; Apperently in Mistral scrubbing by hand is still more viable floor cleaning tech than using Dust.

The wind vane on the roof has the Rooster Teeth symbols rooster on it.

The hotel Cinder is bought by is named the Glass Unicorn, fittingly enough for...several reasons.

The coffees behind the stepsisters when we first see them are the animated versions of the real life stuff RT put out just before this season went live.

No one seems to notice the fact cinder has orange eyes. I wonder if weird eye colors are just a THING in Remnant?

The control collar/shock thing is incredibly inefficient in design, since it doesnt actually hold on to her very well. A more effective brace/choker design would have worked better.

The song that goes on during all of this is...kind of obvious and a little bland? Fitting for younger Cinder I guess.

Mmm. Random greasy huntsman.

I guess in Atlas its fine to laugh at struggling teenagers?

Im going to assume there’s a 3+ year gap here where she gets older, cause she stops being smol and gets closer to how we see her now.

Also even here, in Atlas...really? The most effective way to clean these carpeted floors is to have a TEENAGER SCRUB THEM BY HAND?

How do you scrub...I assume its carpet anyway?

And how you tell civilians are lame in Atlas; they are impressed...by a sword. Just a sword. A boring, half-cut sword. Losers.

I assume this would be Cinder’s semblance manifesting. Also note on the desk; “we do not serve faunus”. Well THAT doesnt surprise me.

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHE. Get fucked Cinder. HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

I dont even feel pity for her, this is funny to me. Also the fact that this kind of shit aCTUALLY EXISTS is...amusing to me. Like, really? So I guess indentured servitude is a thing in Remnant too.

And this is why Cinder likes to use swords. Really. Wow. LAMEO.

Huh. Dual maces. Interesting. Thats a prety cool weapon. Looks like they open up too. Bet he could bash some skulls with that.

“Hurting them isnt going to make your life any better”. Um, excuse me? I think hurting them is the very best thing to do in this situation. At least, for the moment anyway.

Huh. So she’s ten at this point? Even as a child, shes older than she looks.

And training montage. Huh. Or at least I assume it is. I get the feeling being able to go where you want too and do what you want too is the main reason Hunters exist. There must be crazy tight immigration laws...or, maybe, its just that traveling between kingdoms is stupid dangerous cause of Grimm. I think the latter is most likely considering every form of public transit extra-kingdom we’ve seen (even between cities, see Argus Limited) has some kind of defensive weaponry. Limited and ineffective, for th emost part oddly.

So you can take the exam at 18. Okay cool. Pre-that must be prep school. Wonder what happens if you wash out? Also I like how this dude is just “yeah, 7 years of training, we got this.”

I think this is the first time we’ve seen the other side of the moon. Or at least, the proper other side...bloody hell I STILL dont know how all those piesces are still held in place, the thing looks like it should start yeeting bolides at Remnant.

Better still we see it MOVE, rotate in time to the passing of years. So it literally does rotate on its own axis, and more importantly, unlike OUR moon, its NOT tidally locked. We only ever see the same side of our moon. REmnants rotates MUCH faster. Also it doesnt seem to have phases like ours does. I’ll check on why that is.

Well at least we have an explanation for why Cinders so damn good at fighting people. Trained by an Atlas Huntsman.

Also as a note the device is quite literally just an electrical Dust crystal attached to a necklace. Things the most inefficent torture device Ive ever fucking seen.

Wonder how often they have to change the crystal.

And there goes the moon rotating again.

I like how NO ONE comment on the blade going missing and that guy never came back for it. I guess he must have just bought a new one.

I get the very distinct feeling they wont just let her go honestly, permission or not.

AWWW WE DONT EVEN GET TO SEE CINDER MURDER THE SISTERS. Also no blood. Odd. Good kill on the stepmother though. Oh, that NECK CRACK. I like how all the bitch can do is try and shock Cinder, like, uh...adrenaline up? SHE HAS A SWORD? MAYBE FIGHT BACK?

Hah. Weak ass fuckin Atlas people. Also the clock going off in the back ground twelve times. How fitting. Welcome to midnight.

Also shes kind of glowing here cause the room is dark, and I find it amusing this is probably the last time she wears white.

And THERES the Cinder we know

Sick ass music, cool. Also THAT is an interesting semblance...I guess he turns himself to metal? Also DAMN his aura broke after THAT? Hes a Huntsman...ah who cares. Again probably in Cinders memory more than anything. Which at this point is probably about as reliable as a coked up hookers.

SHANKED. Sucker. You shoulda seen THAT one coming.

And thats all it took to get the shock collar off. Lol.

So what happened to the hotel? Did they just...write it off? I mean four people got murdered in there...

And now we’re back on the whale. HOW THE SCREAMING FUCK DID CINDER JUST...

Wow. She just got up after eating that blast. Fucking plot armor.

Merc making the hard calls honestly. Im actually gonna watch all of this now which is nice because I want to know whats happening in the real world. PITY MORE THAN HALF THE EPISODE WAS THIS FUCKING FILLER.

I like how Cinder just...goes quiet the moment she realizes shes lost Mercury. Not that he was USEFUL mind you but if I had to guess she liked being the boss. But now shes...basically back where she started.

So the whale is basically a ship. It has a bridge. Probably Salems throne room.

Man, Oscars literally just RTs punching bag this season isnt he? Literally in this case.

His clothes are still scortched too which I find interesting. The black eyes also staying. Auras not back up then? Aura repair and regen seems...werid half the time. Like RT does what they want with it.

Ah so someone finally says it...but at the same time what exactly does Salem have to fear? If she cant fight the whole world...what could they do? Maybe overwhelming her? It...Im having a hard time putting the “she cant be stopped” with “shes afraid of fighting all of Remnant”.

Somethings missing here. I know it.

The sound of the “door” opening reminds me of the Flood doors in High Charity in Halo 3s Cortana. Fleshy twisting.

Mention from Hazel, but AGAIN...no details. I guess if you nail down how she can do stuff its harder to write?

Glad someone made a comment on the futility of the Hunter academies.

I really hate how Salems giving us creepy mommy shades.

Hmm. So yeah the bridge IS the throne room/command deck. I like how Neo doesnt give a fuck is just casually kneeling.

Ah okay THATS why he grabbed the scroll.

Heh. Interesting. How exactly does this work I wonder.

...Why does Salem have a ring. Has she always had that ring?

Neo looking at the Hound like “oh, I could ride this thing”.

Oh cool the Ace Ops. And they’re arguing, shocker. Sounds like Elm doesnt trust tech either. No shock there. Idiot.

Atlas elite. Yeah, right.

Huh, is this a Manta with landing gear? I guess they do have them...seems kind of silly to have them so high up though. I guess thats what the thing under the door is for, so they can deploy a ramp. Man, I really dont like Atlas’s airship design.

Hare needs some fuckin suppresants.

Annnnddd...here we go, things go straight to hell. I was warned of this. I am going to try and not be mad...but from what Ive heard the incomptence of the military in this particular section is astronomical.

Huh. So...Grimm can be convirted into a rock-punching liquid? Interesting. Has that always been a thing or... Also why the fuck are you jsut standing there in awe, go kill the fucking thing! Fucking Specialists.

...that is all it took to get through Atlas’s shield? THAT?

I also love how no one does anything. Ironwoods like “wait what the fuck”. Come on bro.

And...thats the Atlas navy. Everyone. Two lasers. One of which missed. Remind me again what exactly these things are used to shoot?

Wait, no, that took down part of it, and then the rest is, surprise, hitting the soft rock on the outside.

THERE goes the shield.

Hang on a second, how long have those giant squid things been there?

And...what. The whale just approaches, nothing happens? You’ve got 12 fucking ships there, shoot the fucking thing.

Again, WHY IS NO ONE DOING ANYTHING?

Oh, it just beach-headed. Okay fine, whatever.

Im not really worried.

Lets see how RT makes this WORSE though...

And thats this weeks episode.

#rwby #rwby v8 #spoilers #rwby spoilers

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lesbian-octoling · 5 years

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Hey guys, Xeno drama ((you know, about the banner and hate and whatnot)) below the cut if you don’t wanna see it!!!

@mrkamabo--co Hello! I don’t know if you’re ever going to see this, but. It’s here.

First of all, yes, it’s me! lesbian-octoling, rhi-draws-things, whatever you wanna call me. I’m making this because I’ve heard through a friend of mine that I trust that you are a relatively good person, and while I don’t agree with everything you’ve done, I figured i might as well try to clear things up between us.

First off-

I’m sorry.

This is a 100% genuine, formal apology. I am sorry your medical issues are acting up, I understand completely. I had and almost identical use (albeit with chemical imbalances making me throw up, instead of breathing/heart issues, but both caused by stress), so I get it.

I’m not here to stress you further. In fact, I’m here to try and resolve the issue. I don’t want you to feel the way you do, and I don’t want to start more drama. I should know, i’ve been receiving nasty shit for a while. If you don’t want to read this- that’s okay! Don’t stress yourself, dude.

I just feel like this is important, because we never actually talked- and lack of communication often leads to violence.

But there are a few thing I wanted to address- first and foremost, the ‘xeno free zone’ banner, and the tags.

#‘you’re a coward cuz u wanna draw them with t^ddy’#i don’t do that in the first place lmao#and if you’re going to say:#'its actually scientifically accurate!’#nope it really isn’t #why?#why would squids/octopi evolve to have digigrades/muzzles/claws on their hands?#why would they look like goats with their eyes and muzzles?#they would have flat fish face!#have squid/octo hat heads!#like the third stage in their canon evolution!#exaggerate that if you want scientifically accurate squidlings/octolings/inklings!#otherwise.. yall just makin them into furries tbh#note: i have a surplus of fursonas#k peace

Ah, I hope you don’t mind me going off a bit, but I did want to say things!!!

Muzzles: Inkling beaks, IRL, are very long! they just look flat because.. well, squids are long! But if you put that into something shaped like a human head, they need a bit more room to stretch out.

Claws: they’re not actually claws, they’re hooks! Just like real deep-sea squids have hooks made of chitin that can retract back into their tentacles, which is why i made them like that. As you can see when they go back into heir squid forms, their arms and legs ARE just evolved tentacles!

Here’s a cool example of the hooks, as compared to some of my squid hands:

‘goat noses’: This is because… it’s not a nose! A real squid breathes through it’s siphon, which is one, large hole. That’s why their nose is like that- it’s not two nostrils, it’s one hole, but flattened down so it’s not just a big ol’ hole in their face. If it was, things might get into it, like dirt or bugs or.. i dunno.

Digigrades: admittedly, this is just because it’s fun, and theres no reason they shouldn’t. Any other similarities to cats is just… coincidental, really, as cats and squids have a lot of similarities (liking the sun, chasing lights, etc).

Eyes: Actually, this was a mistake. When i FIRST started getting into splatoon i was like ‘wait squids have horizontal pupils right’ and only found out later that no.. that’s octopi! But oh well, it was a bit late, eh? live and learn.

I’m not saying its fully scientifically accurate- hell, course it’s not! But its more biologically accurate than having them being made of ink. Mostly, I just think it’s fun, cus I’m a budding biologist and I think it’s cool to explore these concepts.

Ok! Thats all I gotta say. I just wanted a chance to explain myself, s’all! As for the banner itself… while it may have been joking in nature, I do think it was a bit rude. Kinda like swinging a bat at a hornet’s nest, yeah..? Like you said- “but yknow tumblr be tumblr, and i honestly expected This™”… you gotta watch out what you say sometimes. You could’ve made it more obvious that you were joking- putting ‘XENO FREE ZONE’ with bit red X’s and ‘feel free to reblog :)’ just has.. a very mean tone to it, and it rubbed a lot of people the wrong way, regardless of your intentions. It really didn’t sound like a joke, to a lot of people, including me.

Though, maybe, we’re all just a bit wary- I’ve been receiving asks telling me to- quite literally- kill myself, multiple times, over this. I also know several friends who have gotten the same messages (a few of which don't even draw xeno, but simply because they are my friends). I think me (and other xeno artists, though I cannot speak for them) have a right to be wary, when we’re so used to being bashed. A lot of people are scared, and it doesn’t make what some people said right, I’m just… telling you why that massive backlash happened.

And by ‘massive backlash’…. if I’m being honest- and I don’t mean to make it sound trivial- a lot of the responses to those posts weren’t truly mean. Some people sent a clown meme, a lot of people responded with ‘why are you hating us, were just having fun’. A few were pretty mean, yes, but I could count them on one hand. These were light hearted in nature, and nothing like some of the truly nasty things that could’ve been said. You wouldn’t believe the things I’ve received in my inbox…

I think a lot of this could’ve been avoided if your post right after had simply been an apology. Instead of playing the victim card, simply say ‘ah, that last post was a joke- i sincerely apologize, and I might’ve worded it poorly’. That’s it. And it could have been avoided if you said, in the tags ‘this is a joke post don't take it seriously’. But instead, you went on the criticize xeno aspects. Not saying you’re wrong, but pointing out why so many people took it the wrong way.

But.. the main thing I wanted to address was this post.

I.. can’t say I’m in the right, but I can’t say you are, either. I probably shouldn’t have made that post- but it was meant more as an off-hand joke. I didn’t mention you at all, as I didn’t want anyone to hate on you. It’s more of a running joke for my blog of ‘sexy tartar’, which is why it was funny enough that I brought it up.

#can’t feel safe#when i put an opinion out there#its easy.. to ignore a post yknow…? It’s also easy not to make a joke like that. Again- maybe you intended it as a joke, but it’s like one of those shitty april fools pranks where you tell somebody something bad happened. We got scared. Doesn’t make it right of us, but it doesn’t make it right of you, either.

But the ONLY thing I’m truly angry about- if you saying that ‘you, a minor, don’t feel safe because you’re being shat on by an adult’. The reason this makes me mad is because… I’m 18. Barely. And you’re 17. I’m… not even a full year older than you. I’m still in high school. The way you worded it made it sound like i’m a 32 year old getting off on sending hate to a 13 year old- and that’s not even close to the case. That is not cool, dude.

Anyway. Sorry about that, though I hope you can see why I’m.. unhappy with the wording. I’m trying to solve things here, not make them worse, ha…

And.. yes, I did block you. But not so you wouldn’t find out. You can still see my blog; i know this. I blocked you because I’ve been getting hate anons for the past few weeks, and I can’t be too careful with who I block. I’m tired of people telling me im ‘ruining the fandom’, so I tend to block at leisure, or when I have suspicion. And a big ‘ANTI XENO’ banner is reasonable suspicion, yes…?

Again, I apologize for that post, but i was not doing to to spite you, just because I found it funny. I didn’t contribute to the spreading of hate to you in any way- I am very anti-hate messaging, and very pro ‘block and ignore if you don’t like them’. Which is.. what I was trying to do, but I didn’t want to leave us on that sour note. I did not encourage anyone to ridicule you on your post, or send you any sort of messages and asks.The only people I complained to were my girlfriend and a select few close friends, who i KNOW would not participate in any sort of hate spreading.

I’m not asking you to be friends with me. I’m simply trying to clear off any misconceptions- I’m fully welcome to hearing what you have to say back. But…

All in all, I think the gist of what im trying to say is that we all made mistakes, and we should both own up to them. I’m very sorry about your heart condition- I sincerely, 100% hope you get better. And I’m hoping that by talking it out, we can clear things up and not let it stew..? I know that sometimes these things tend to eat at me until I fix them, and that is all I’m trying to do.

I’ve unblocked you for as long as it takes for us to resolve this issue, if you would like to move to DMs, or to discord. Either works. Or.. don’t respond at all, if you don’t want.

Have a nice night, and I hope you feel better!

#drama #please don't reblog this unless you're @mrkamabo--co #im tired and don't wanna fight; dudes

47 notes · View notes

crystallinekingdom · 7 years

Note

"Are you scared? ... Then why won't you look at the screen?" (Prompt)

hey this got a little long… also im sorry it took 2 days

Movie Night

Taako’s sprawled out on the couch in their suite, painting his nails a shimmering blue and watching the world below through the now-exposed porthole that makes up most of the living room’s floor, when his Stone of Farspeech starts ringing where he left it on the coffee table.

He had expected this to be a quiet day. Apparently, in the aftermath of saving the world, nobody cares if you take a few extra days off work - Merle was planetside visiting his kids, while Magnus had gone to spar with Killian and Carey.

Whilst attempting to grasp for his Stone with semi-wet paint all over his nails, Taako drops the bottle of polish onto the counter, and the device is suddenly covered in tacky blue sparkles. He curses three different gods as he brings it up to his ear, inwardly praying that the person at the other end isn’t Brad ready to lecture him for thirty minutes about his use of expletives and how it isn’t beneficial to a teamwork environment.

It’s not. His sister’s voice crackles through the speaker, muffled by bad reception but still audible, and a grin spreads across his face.

“How’s it hanging, dork?” Lup asks. Taako can hear gravel crunching under her feet as she walks.

“Just chilling up here. What are you and the nerd up to, do-gooding in some random village again?” Lup and Barry had not been as blasé about the aftermath of the apocalypse as him and the boys - every day they were assisting a cleanup effort somewhere, trying to get areas that had been hit hard by the Hunger back in working order.

“Not today, actually, and that’s why I called. We aren’t scheduled to be in Goldcliff till Wednesday morning, which gives us, like, a day and a half free. Figured we’d drop by the moonbase and say hi. Want to hang out, or do you have better things to do?”

“No can do, sis, I’m busy curing cancer and making shoes for orphans - of course I’m down to hang out, who do you think I am? What time are you gonna be up here?”

“I just summoned a sphere, so.” The audio crackles a bit as she pauses, presumably to check her watch. “Around six, give or take?”

“Hell yeah. I’ll be in the suite. See ya then, goofus.” Taako puts the stone in his pocket, taking care to cap the bottle of blue polish on the table before hefting himself off the sofa.

The glass face of the clock on the wall has a large crack down its middle, but he can still make out a time that’s somewhere around 4:50 p.m. Enough time to whip something quick up, he thinks as he makes his way over to the kitchen.

Taako is halfway through mixing a bowl of dough for a yet-unfinished batch of glazed lemon cookies before he hears a light knock at the door. It’s much earlier than the ETA Lup had given him, but he trudges over, leans against the wall with one batter-sticky hand, and looks through the peephole.

In the hallway is Angus, newsboy cap slightly askew and clutching his wand to his chest. Taako is momentarily taken aback until he remembers what day of the week it is. Oh, shit. Monday is magic day.

He unlocks the deadbolt and pushes the door open with a flourish, feigning ignorance as to why the kid is here. “Hey, Django. What brings you to our neck of the woods?”

“Hello, sir!” Angus shifts from one foot to the other. “Uh, I’m sorry to trouble you, but I was just wondering if our magic lessons are, um, still a thing that’s happening? I mean, I totally understand if you’re busy, or if you’re finished training me now that I’m done being a Seeker and not really useful to you guys anymore, or-”

Taako cuts him off with a wave of his hand. “Sorry, kiddo. Don’t think we’re going to be able to do a lesson today.” Angus’s face falls and he opens his mouth to say something, but Taako continues, “Lulu and Barold are coming up for the day. Want to stick around and ask them all those nerd science questions you’ve been asking me? Might even be some baked goods in it for ya.”

He leaves the door open and turns around to retreat back into the kitchen, catching Angus’s “Th-thank you so much!” and the sound of the door shutting, then small footsteps following him inside.

“Now that you’re here, bubbeleh, I’m gonna have to put you to work. Child labor isn’t illegal if it’s on the moon,” Taako says, lightly clapping Angus on the back. “Want to go grab me a half tablespoon of vanilla extract so I can add it to this sick batter?”

Lup and Barry open the door an hour later to the sight of cookies left to cool on the stovetop and Taako sitting on the couch with Angus, teaching him some particularly nasty Fantasy Yiddish curses.

After a bout of small talk (considering the twins have fallen back into their old habit of constantly keeping tabs on each other for blackmail material, there isn’t much catching up to do) and a brief trip back to Lup and Barry’s makeshift moonbase quarters, Barry lays out a stack of old DVD cases on the kitchen table in front of Angus.

“It’s my movie collection from back on the Starblaster”, he explains. “First thing I salvaged once we got the ship back up here. We haven’t seen any of these in at least a decade, so take your pick, kiddo.”

Angus takes his time opening each plastic case and reading the blurb on the back. By the time he’s done, the other three are in an angry debate over the Fantasy Star Wars prequels (“They give context for episodes four through six, you uncultured swines!”), and Angus has to throw the case he’s chosen at Taako’s head to get their attention.

Taako looks at the case - Fantasy Alien. He briefly questions whether the whole chestburster thing is too frightening for an eleven year old boy, until he realizes that said eleven year old boy has fought eldritch abominations and been thrown off the back of a moving train. So much for childhood innocence.

“Good choice, Agnes,” he says, twirling the case in his hand.

Twenty minutes later, the lights are off and they’re all piled onto the couch under a knit throw covered in yellow embroidered ducks. Barry’s got an arm around his girlfriend and is staring at the screen with an expression of childlike wonder, Lup is whispering suggestive comments into Taako’s ear between mouthfuls of cookie, and Angus…

As the characters onscreen argue about what to do with the young halfling lying on the operating table with a squid-alien-thing on his face, Angus’s eyes are anywhere but on the action. The blanket is wrapped tightly around him up to his chest, and he’s staring directly into it.

Taako wrestles his right arm free from where Angus had pinned it while leaning on him and uses it to ruffle the boy’s hair. “Are you scared?” he asks softly. Maybe Angus is more squeamish than he’d thought.

“Oh, no, sir! If this were a real mission, they would have listened to containment protocol and prevented all this from happening. This whole situation could have been avoided if not for the sake of dramatic irony!” Angus responds, without looking up from his blanket cocoon.

“Then why won’t you look at the screen?” Taako lightly noogies him, then tugs on Angus’s piece of the blanket.

Out falls a small spiral-bound notebook with blue and silver trim, hitting the floor face-up with a small thump. Honestly, Taako doesn’t know what else he expected - he reaches down to pick it up, and surveys the page it opened up onto.

Below some indecent Fantasy Yiddish phrases (he’s both proud of the kid and terrified Lucretia will come after him once she hears Angus using said phrases in conversation) is a detailed sketch of a spacecraft. It’s surrounded by liner notes, detailing the workings of each part of the craft, its name - SS Nostromo - and physics equations describing what looks to be its capability for interstellar travel.

“Woah, is this the ship from the movie?” Taako asks.

“Yes, um. I’m sorry for not paying attention, I just thought it was a really interesting concept and-”

“Angus. It’s really dang good. Consider me thoroughly impressed.”

“Thank you!” Angus grins. “I’m just wondering, I know the Starblaster was made for hopping between dimensions, but did it have the raw power required for regular-old third dimensional travel on a larger scale like in this movie? Like, interstellar spaceflight?”

Lup, who has apparently been paying more attention to this whisper-conversation than Taako would have thought, turns towards Angus and wipes a few stray crumbs off her face. “See, the thing with bond energy is that because it’s freakin’ everywhere, it only takes a small core to process a huge amount of it. That’s how we could use such a small exploratory vessel. Of course, traveling in five dimensions takes a lot more power than in three, but if you factor in gravity and antimatter-”

Taako cranks up the volume on the television just as Barry shifts to face them, presumably to point out some obscure law of astrophysics. Adorable. They should set up their own little think tank. Taako smiles fondly at them as they continue their conversation, his face lit by the dim glow of the screen, then turns back around just as the alien bursts out of the halfling’s chest.

By the time the credits roll, both Angus and Barry are out cold - Angus holding his notebook and curled up against Taako’s chest, Barry clutching a throw pillow with a picture of a corgi on it. Lup has extricated herself from the cuddle pile and is raiding his pantry, and Taako is trying to figure out the best way to reach for the remote without waking up the two nerds asleep on his couch.

“You know,” Lup calls out from the kitchen, “I still feel kinda bad about blowing up his macaroons. He’s a good kid. You think it’d be cool if I made it up to him by baking him some more?”

Taako looks down at Angus, takes off his glasses, and places them on the coffee table. “I think he’d like that a lot.”

#taz #the adventure zone #taako #angus #lup #jules.txt #also this is self indulgent as fuck lmao

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mceproductions · 5 years

Text

December 2018 Blurbs

12/1/18 The final Chapter on 2018's book began with me checking out the sequel to Wreck It Ralph. And it was Near perfect in every way possible. What wasn't was my drive back and the snowstorm that laid waste to the road, never had driven in snow that bad until today. Honestly was shaking for nealry 20 miles. Luckilly came back in time to see Bama win in epic fashion. I may not like them but they are #1. UCF won as well hopeful they can make the jump. 12/2/18 Connor ended up picking up a new kitten, he and Amber named Nelson. Now I know how Peele felt in Keanu. That cat was adorable and so sweet to be around. Especially that poofball tail. Packers stink as usual to the point where McCarthy got fired during his postgame press conference. Bama, Clemson, and Oklahoma will batlle on the 29th to see who gets the chance to play in Santa Clara. Notre Dame will join them, this should be expanded by all counts. 12/3/18 Andrew has another job, this one late at night. Hoping he'll stick this out. Heisman this year went down to the 3 QB's from Bama, Oklahoma and Ohio State. Wonder how the finalst math is done to drop the number from 5 to 3. Gifts need to be sent out to Eric and Company soon. New Tree skirt looks hopefully ok. 12/4/18 Stuff can take the cake really quickly when it comes to life. Connor apparently has broken things off with Amber now his gut is killing him. Karma at its finest people. Other than that, I don't mind having to get called out to do carts what irks me is when someone like Cole, drops off so I'm completley alone out there. His weaseled out method just really iritates me more. Bowl Mercahndise looking rather dull this year, may save money along those lines. 12/5/18 Well, Connor may have gut problems like me. The real kicker is how incompitent our hospital is here, and how they were throwing in words like liver failure and appendix issues. Grabbed mounted photo which allowed me to finish wrapping the gifts to be sent out to Eric and them. Hopeful that Eli Like gummi Bears. Main gift hunting will begin next week. Do love Holiday seaons, and all that they entail. 12/6/18 The cat may be be cute, but Connor breaking, entering and placing him on me in the middle of the night. Nope. He, can really take the cake when it comes to not knowing how to amicably end a relationship. Rebought Hobbit and that gave me, Legos for the first time in 15 Years. Will only get the Target lego hobbit editons and that will be it. Survey for class is adjusted and will hopefully be done by weekends end. Seminar I still have to do, hoping Dad will give a hand with that. Looking forward to Mamoa on SNL. 12/7/18 Pearl Harbor, a tragic event that led to a worse movie. But on this day there should be a new atalige on when it rains it pours for the winter. I call it When it snows it bursts, cause we all had issues today. Bravada may have a frozen gear shift. Eric lost another girlfriend, Connor may be out of a job, and Andrew may actually be doing better than any of us for once. This is a burst of bad luck. 12/8/18 A day that i had originally set out to do nothing now had me doing even less, thanks to the Bum gear shift. Not sure how we can fix that, other vehicle still waits in the wings. Watched more SpongeBob then i had in a long time wow I missed a bunch. Could really use some good in these next few days. 12/9/18 Packers finally won, just need miracles to happen in order to squeak into wild card. Vehicles e break lite may give me clue in order to fix it. Winter and Christmas need to show up quicker cause it certainly doesnt feel like it especially not around here. 12/10/18 Early night when it came to the back. Used VTO to leave early, stinks i lost a day but at least i caught up on stuff. 12/11/18 Bravada i bought finally became mine with licence plates. Saving insurance for after Christmas. Store had less on today which made the work at least plenteful. But the group with the exception of me and 2 others all left at 9:50 as we got left with the bulk of the cleanup. Not cool in the slightest. 12/12/18 First day with Bravada, not a bad go of things. Penultimate class, surprisingly am at an A hoping i can get this done within the next week. Contingency plan needed for tomorrow, will see SpiderMan on Saturday and hold off on Aquaman until after Christmas. 12/13/18 Nice to find out i can still tack miles on my feet. Will need to do that again soon. Packages got sent including book for retun. Retuned a bunch of stuff for gift stipened, hoping dad likes revenant more than hacksaw ridge. South Park finale made no sense. 12/14/18 Saving spiderverse for sunday, mainly so i can get rid off stuff at BAM, more cash more presents. Will still read Mortal Engines even though movie looks lousy. A lot of ties on countdown, and just discovered a couple i overlooked. Binging Bob's Burgers like crazy. Man that show is a lot better than i gave it credit for. Busted truck is gone from parking lot, didn't expect to have to have management nearly call cops on stolen vehicle though. 12/15/18 Day from hell is an understatement. Eric getting arested, Im working on stuff and Andrew seemed to not know when to keep his mouth shut. Bowl games starting today brought only form of relief. 12/16/18 Better day, Animated Spiderman was something to behold. Got bulk of christmas shopping out of the way. Bravada held up just wished i could get it back fully. Packers got knocked out of postseason. Just hope we can win one more, at least chances are good. Smash Bros Ultimate is awesome. 12/17/18 Mom's gift now safley wrapped. Football continues and the Saints better be hoping they stop stinkin things up. 12/18/18 Cap 2 was down to 4 with a mysterious virus going round. As everyone left by 6, i managed to get out early. Just hoping this doesnt come back to bite me in the butt. Hoping to wrap up gifts by Friday, Aquaman on Saturday may be possibile. Glad thats in town at least. Also did annual watch of Haruhi Suzumiya movie, how come they can't make a movie that long in America. Stinks it has to be shorter than 2 for animated. 12/19/18 Last Class, thankfully was short and sweet. Walked out in good mood after making thank you card. Just curious to know when i may get funds, cause have to take 2 classes otherwise just to get scholarship. Rose Bowl shirt looks great. Will finish gift wrapping by friday at least. 12/20/18 I dont know why but it just doesnt feel like christmas this year. Snow almost gone, skies are dreary and whatever mood were in around here just keeps going up. Better Days by Goo Goo Dolls seems more and more perfect in telling the moood were in right now. Hoping for a few good days, free christmas dinner at store tommorow should lift funk. 12/21/18 The mood certainly is festive store wise. Finished grabbing gifts. Wil be hoping they like them. 12/22/18 Down to the single digits in days left of 2018, one goal of mine i wished i picked up more on was the sign language aspect. Will be putting that back on the 2019 docket. Store for a few more days. Just hoped to go watch Aquaman thanks to VTO but based on what i got coming, better to hold off on that. 12/23/18 Penultimate truck of 2018, thankfully got that done by 10, finally got tree from mountain, bulbs i picked up worked brillantly. Hard to belive it all ends in a week. Good year overall. 12/24/18 Short 4 hours with only Chris and Cheyenne. Best store day of the year in which we turn off all lights and tell people who come in to leave. Cole on the other hand, once again, i got drugged out to fix his mess. Not pleasent. What was was prime rib and quiet dinner with family before i gave them gifts. Poofball hat idea worked on all but Dad may have to return his. Looking forward to nba on christmas day. Wonderful life and Polar Express double feature to round things out. 12/25/18 Linus from peanuts says it all. With angellic hosts proclaim christ is born in bethlehem. 12/26/18 Amazing how one day in total silence with family can turn into one explosive return to reality. All for the best 5 days of the year i suppose. Aquaman movie ended up being pretty great, never figured Julie Andrews would play a squid. Badgers Bowl game tomorrow then final day of work for year on friday. Just hopin i can get final blog posted on monday before library closes. Year is rapidly closing fast. Also 2nd Charlie Brown Christmas special sucks, a little bit much on the meaning of the season and not on what made the first special great all around. 12/27/18 Rain filled the day, a lot of water that may turn whatever snow we have into ice. Badgers won in Yankee Stadium and tomorrow is Walmart 2018 finale for me. Just wish i didn't have a week off after that, but i can make do with micro paycheck for a bit. Already trying to figure 2019 Goals, dont know whether to up it or lower it. Found Attack on Titan Season 3 on Digital. Yeah gonna be good tv this weekend. 12/28/18 The 2018 Season finale at Wallyworld. Epicly enjoyable. Just miffed that have a week off with little to no Coverage coming in. May seek alternative option. Truck tire thankfully got fixed but other issue may now have arisen. Bad luck streak wrapping this year up strong isn't it? 12/29/18 Another college football playoff another Bama Clemson beatdown. At least Kyler and Oklahoma actually put up a fight. Not sure what movie to see tomorrow. Possibly saving Bumblebee for next week, or VICE. 12/30/18 Entry 364 and on this penultimate day, I chose to go see the Mary Poppins sequel. Oh man it was charming. The welcome balance of modern with slight hat tips to what came before. Packers embarrassingly concluded thier season. Orville came back on tonight and that was equally good, a bunch of side plots that somehow all culminated in one odd ritual where Bortus took a dump, and it was good. Looking forward to adding that on DVR. 5 Packages to send out tomorrow, not sure what i'll be doing when ball drops. 12/31/18 Bye Bye Yesterday...The culmination of 365 Days of life, and as we conclude 2018 I think, there was so much more I could have gotten done. 2 Weddings, A Super Bowl visit, watching Connor finish school, buying my first vehicle, nearly seeing a sporting event, and a prmomotion at wally world. So much more I could have squeezed in. Finished today up with helping dad with bread, and he made chili, hoping that that wont make us all sick as hes been these last few days. As for this journaling buiness. I may look into continuing this come 2019. After all that is now as i have put it the year of the endgame. Definetly would want to chronicle that. Though maybe i'll go the Your Name Route and download an app to chronicle that for my Phone and Ipad. Here's to you 2018, now as Thanos snaps at 11:53 you'll crumble to dust and fade away in our minds and hearts. Its time for the next chapter, and im ready...To Be hopefully continued.

End of 2018 Journal

0 notes

paulsolorzano · 5 years

Text

12.09.18

Starbucks. Ribeyes. Storage space. Habits.

Sorting through the space a little. I need to make some room for the giant Game Cube display my brother is bringing up

To discuss still:

Mother had a heart attack

Rachel getting a divorce

Back to Orlando

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Gwen Stefani - love angel music baby

Jeff Rosenstock - I look like shit

My chill mix

Fake problems - real ghosts caught on tape

Antarctigo Vespucci - soulmate stuff

Antarctigo Vespucci - love in the time of email

Kanye west - life of Pablo

Kanye west - graduation

Watching:

Somm on Netflix

Reading:

Eating:

Apple cider vinegar shot

Wheat grass juice powder

Kale/spinach/radish/parsley/celery/lemon juice/stevia drink

Outback ribeye and wedge salad and green beans

Playing:

Purchases:

Final Fantasy crystal chronicles, Japanese version for Game Cube

Squid head - vintage Star Wars

Packages received:

No post on Sunday

But I opened these:

Devil boy by Iconoclast

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

12.08.18

Sommelier course, day 2. We take the exam at the end of the day today. Fingers crossed dammit.

—-

Passed the exam! Hard work paid off. A vision planned out and executed. Nice win for me. And my boy Mac is all about it also. The wants to keel going and the wants me to come with him.

To discuss still:

Mother had a heart attack

Rachel getting a divorce

Back to Orlando

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Notable places visited:

Went to Axx Sxxxx’x house in winter garden, after going to outback. Lots of steak this week. Took a weird long way home through Apopka.

Listening to:

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Starbucks

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

12.07.18

Sommelier level 1 course: day 1. My boy Mac who I work with and I are here. Ritz-Carlton off of Koh young pkwy in Orlando. Way too early for me to be awake. I ended up waking at 5:30 to get moving. On a little break just now, after the first leg of slides. They gave us a physical copy of the huge pdf they emailed us. I’m scribbling notes as they lecture.

—-

Hell of a long day. Got maybe 3 and a half hours of sleep? Came to the Ritz Carlton and downloaded 10 hours of information. Me and my boy Mac are as ready as we’re gonna be for tomorrow.

After some introductory shit, It was pretty much all France today. We also tasted 12 different wines today. Surprisingly I’m not wasted. I pretty much spit everything out for the most part.

Feeling more confident after today. But tomorrow is gonna be most of everything else: Germany, Spain, Italy, America and Australia I think. I didn’t even touch America or Australia.

70 questions. I only need 60% to pass. That’s 42 correct questions. I can do this.

To discuss still:

Mother had a heart attack

Rachel getting a divorce

Back to Orlando

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

12.06.18

Ate a lot of meat yesterday. Craving more today. Also I seem to be having some mood related swings. In the shower today I was overwhelmed by sadness for a fleeting minute. Yes, it was relative to Axxxxx and how I blew it.

Death cab for cutie playing in this Outback Steakhouse. Shoving a wedge salad into my face. The pen has ahold me; I smoked off of Tina’s cartridge because she wanted me to try it and see if it was harsh. And it was. That didn’t stop me from taking a rip, and then another.

I unfocus my eyes and stare through one of the tv screens playing basketball recaps. The pen has me in a daze. I finish chewing through this ribeye. Leaving nothing but a few green beans. Coffee after this undoubtedly. Me and my routines.

—-

Time in Bradenton after Alaska with Danielito and the rest of my family:

My brother and I discussed me coming back and all we would do is smoke and watch YouTube videos, and goddam if we didn’t do just that. He was working a lot so I would also spend time with his gf Kristy. She enjoyed the company as my brother would later tell me. And I wouldn’t see why not seeing as my bro and I are similar dudes.

Spending time with my mother was nice. Since we spoke every day over text we were pretty caught up when she and Rachel picked me up from the airport.

—

Just interacted with an extremely enthusiastic barista at Starbucks. White girl, pretty perfect makeup, and ‘Disney cast member’ levels of energy and excitement.

—

At a weird spot in town: 434. I’m not too familiar with this area. It’s hilly, which is uncharacteristic. That being said, I feel like I’m elsewhere. On the road somewhere maybe. Different place, different climate as well since it’s actually cold today. And by that I mean 69°

To discuss still:

Mother had a heart attack

Rachel getting a divorce

Back to Orlando

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Notable places visited:

Johnny’s fillin station for a date with Penny

Hung with Christine at her temporary Airbnb

Listening to:

The agency - engines

Vulpeck - the beautiful game

PHOX - PHOX

Lucius - Wildewoman

Lucius - good grief

Jeff Rosenstock - worry.

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Outback Steakhouse. Had a 10oz. Ribeye and green beans. Shrimp and garlic topper on the steak

Starbucks cold brew with heavy cream and a shot

Coffee from Austin’s

Burger with no bun from Johnny’s filling station

Salad with blue cheese dressing

Playing:

Purchases:

A couple things from BAMF comics and collectibles

Terminator ReAction figure

Vintage Star Wars figs:

Complete loose Lando Calrissian

Complete loose Tusken Raider

Packages received:

Not so much a package but Christine gave me a copy of MFing Wine Folly! Not too shabby at all. Nice thoughtful gift seeing as I’m doing my sommelier course tomorrow/Saturday

eBay obsessions:

Robotech action figures

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

“I can’t get into it” - my server at outback in regards to water. WATER!

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

12.05.18

Driving to Bradenton from Orlando:

I like to take the scenic route to bradenton. Meaning, ill pull off at random exits to find a weird gas station, or a coffee. Always stop at the rest stops if I can remember.

Its a road trip so I treat it like one, even f its only a couple hours.

The last time I went, I checked out a vintage video game store in Largo I believe it was. Ended up going the St Pete way to bradenton.

Driving to bradenton is part of my attempt to not be a deadbeat family member. To see them once a month if possible. Which with the slightest amount of planning, of course it’s possible.

Ive had this rental car since I got back to Orlando. A new Nissan Altima. Love the thing, but paying out the ass for the convenience. I’ve been slowly talking with a couple places to try and get a vehicle but its slow going. Mostly because im semi lazy and have this vehicle already haha.

Speaking of bradenton, I need to get the logistics down about getting the Game Cube station from my brother and bringing it up here somehow.

—

Feeling abnormally tired lately. Maybe I’m not gettin the right kind of sleep. Definitely getting coffee.

—

Coffee got. Strolling around the Altamonte mall solo. I spend a lot of time alone lately. Ive felt alone since Alaska.

Just a slow wave of sadness just underneath my surface. I need to exfoliate it. I will only achieve that with fulfilling things and people and experiences

—-

There’s a dumpster in the winter park village; I just walked by it. One time, Axxxxx and I came dumpster diving over this way. We found a pretty sweet painting among other stuff in one of the dumpsters. I ended up hanging it up at the sumner house in Kissimmee.

That place was once mine alone, and then she lived there briefly with me before we drove to Alaska.

So yeah I just walked by the dumpster, and the swell of sadness rolled up on me.

Everything around here is a memory of us. This may be part of the reason for my depression. I’m swimming around in memories all over town. I’m not safe because we’ve been every fucking where around here.

And I sit at this red light with my head in my hand, crushed for a moment, due to life

To discuss still:

Time in Bradenton after Alaska with Danielito and the rest of my family

Mother had a heart attack

Rachel getting a divorce

Back to Orlando

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Sufjan Stevens - songs for Christmas

Deftones - Saturday night wrist

Team Sleep - s/t

The reign of kindo - play with fire

The reign of kindo - rhythm, chord and melody

Brightwood - wake

The reign of kindo - this is what happens

Queens of the Stone Age - songs for the deaf

Watching:

Bojack Horseman

Reading:

Eating:

Apple cider vinegar shot

Kale/spinach/radish/parsley/celery/lemon juice/stevia drink

Wheat grass juice powder

Ribeye and creamed spinach from Longhorn steakhouse

1/2 chicken from Pollo Tropical

pistachios after hitting the pen all night

Playing:

Purchases:

‘Choices’ by Jermaine Rogers

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Deftones vinyl records

Lyric of the day:

“Bring me a reason to cry and I’ll shed you a tear” - the reign of Kindo

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

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