#it may exist in hurtful ways

[isekyaaa]

Idk if I ever rambled about this on here, but it's funny that it's easier to love someone than it is to like them. Loving someone is so effortless. It's involuntary. You can hate someone. You can dislike them. You can have no compatibility with them. You can feel any which way you want about them, and still yet, these feelings can coexist with love. You don't choose to love someone. You just do.

To like someone, on the other hand, is more frivolous. It's not innate like love. It needs to have a solid basis. And it's fleeting. You can like someone one day and become disgusted with them the next. It's so subjective. You either like someone or you don't. And forcing yourself to feel the opposite is very difficult.

I think the funniest thing about it all is that when people cry about being unlovable I think what they're really sad about is being unlikeable. People don't want to be loved. They want to be liked. They want to be reassured that there is something desirable about them. They want to know that people want to be around them. These desires are more concurrent with like than love.

#rambles #i was gonna put a finishing paragraph but i'll put it in the tags instead #tbh imo the craziest thing about love is that it'll always be there #unless everyone you know has died there will never be a moment in which you are unloved #granted this love may exist in different forms #it may exist in hurtful ways #it may be more hidden than most #but it'll always be there #it's a hard thing to believe but it's true #it's incredibly hard to be unloved #adding on to the tags tho bc i'm not done yet.... #isn't it such an amazing thing to be loved? #how lucky i am to be loved #here i am as me and still yet people look at that and say 'i love you anyway' #that's incredible #what did i do to deserve that?

[redpandavvstuffs]

"We need more clomplex female characters!!!"

Yall mfs couldn't even handle her 💀

#pink diamond #pink diamond steven universe #complex characters #Mfs who hates pink diamond and not the other diamonds are basically stupid as hell #Steven universe #She may have hurted people but doesn't change the fact that she was trying to fix her mistakes #“She left spinal!” It would've been risky. Pink couldn’t have brought spinel. She would’ve died in the war because of her happy go lucky na #“She traumatized many people!!” STFU ur acting as if she wasn't traumatized and abused as well 💀 #She's not 100% evil and not 100% good yall #“She left her all her problems to steven!” Well how the actual fuck was she supposed know when she don't have future vision? #Like bro even Garnet didn't knew 💀💀 #The way this fandom treats pink diamond... #Forever a pink diamond defender #Gtfo if ur a pink diamond hater this is NOT for you 💀 #She was like a child in a toxic home #We saw her development backwards #PD is the perfect example of no matter what you change #in some way #your past will always haunt you. she never wanted all of that for Steven 😕 #Anyway if it wasn't for her and stopping the colonization steven universe would've never existed #cotton candy

[waterlinkedgirl]

Musical Touken Ranbu: Tsuwamonodomo ga Yume no Ato english sub

A passion project if there's ever been one, it's been a longstanding want of mine to finally do this! Needless to say, Tsuwamono and everything it meant is still my favourite plot from Toumyu! I love its character-driven and intricate writing, its heartrending acting choices, as well as the way it invites one to think about what characters think and why, and why they do or don't (dare to) do the things they do.

However, another important reason that I'm letting myself indulge in this, is that recent Toumyu has taken a turn away from this plot, changing the way how Mikazuki is framed, tying different characters to themes that were tied to Kogitsunemaru, and put those characters into roles that would originally have been most natural for Kogitsunemaru to follow.

In that light, then, I hope that these subtitles will allow you to see, even if it's just the smallest sliver, what I loved in Toumyu's take of Kogi and Mika up to and including Kotobuki. To see that it was beautiful. Because I think it was. 💙💛🌙🦊

Keep in mind that the files in the folder below are only the subtitle files, timed and tled to the blu-ray and DMM senshuuraku distribution. The folder also includes a pdf with translation notes, some background information where I felt it would add, and just a little bit of eager gushing about the references made.

You can find the folder with all the aforementioned files here!

Please enjoy, even if it's just with me in your thoughts.

#touken ranbu #tsuwamonodomo ga yume no ato #toumyu #Water's translations #tsuwamono #Kogitsunemaru #Mikazuki Munechika #we're joining with sute's timeline in which Kogi (may as well have) never existed hahahaha (pain) #but let's put that aside and enjoy Tsuwamono for the beauty it is #I love tsuwamono and translating it has only made me love it more #the references to Kokaji in the starting song were much more intricate than I expected #and I believe the way Basho's haikus are incorporated is smart! #the many things Tsuwamono slyly implies about its worldbuilding are so so so so nice #and also the question of what it means to exist and to be remembered! #that things are never black and white and that even the people you fear may be hurt or will not understand may be different from how you se #and that (I think this is very nice about tsuwa) people make mistakes and make *choices* and that that's what makes them human #I very gently gesture at Mikazuki #I love how he's characterised and how Kuroba conveys that characterisation #He envies shadows and betrays his own advice and cannot lay the finishing blow #he forces smiles. His kindness sways his heart again and again to stab himself with it. He fights a futile battle. He tries anyway. #He lies- He fears- He doesn't speak-- in understandable fear of the devastation he may cause if his words reached the ears of those he love #He would rather risk breaking. #Mikazuki is such a complex and deafeningly HUMAN character and I love that painfully kind and undeniably human portrayal of him so much #and though a certain contrast with Mikazuki is a vital part of the way Kogitsunemaru enters the paintwork here it is ultimately the fact #that he was never black and white- that he ever sees the bigger picture ironically just as Mika said- that allows him to understand #even if with his own personal feelings and his discipline he can't follow the same road #this in deep contrast to Hizamaru- who would not even have hesitated or felt reluctant or even had to battle his feelings had he found out #and I think the relief of having someone dear to confide in- that's emphasized twice with Iwa in the myu- in the form of Kogi #is something that (up to TKO) would and should have meant the world to Mikazuki #that his unwillingness to follow the same path could much too naturally still have meant he could have supported Mikazuki in other ways

[kanansdume]

The Mandalorian switched from writing a story following the arc of Ice Age (2002) to writing a story following the arc of Shazam (2019) in-between seasons 2 and 3, and this is why a perfectly satisfying ending to a two season miniseries got ruined.

#the mandalorian #din djarin #grogu #something something if they wanted a huge mandalore-centric storyline this is what tbobf should've been #tbobf shouldn't have been mando chapter 2.5 #it should've been the second book in a duology #look they could've done one or the other #a beautiful story where grogu is desperately searching for the jedi to the exclusion of all other connections and it's HURTING HIM #it's hurting to not be able to let go of this desperate desire to find a family that may or may not even be out there anymore #and ultimately his connections to din allow him to heal enough that he recognizes being a jedi is no longer the right path for him #he goes to luke and it's just.... not the way he thought it would be and THAT'S OKAY #OR #you do a beautiful story where din finds a lost child and bonds with it as he works to return the child to their family #and din builds up more connections along the way via having to help this child #which ultimately helps him heal from something or grow in a certain better direction #but he always is going to let the child go at the end because keeping the child was NEVER THE POINT #but we started with one arc and ended it and then suddenly pivoted into another one so we could just keep it going #so that lovely satisfying ending just... went away #like it never existed #but it wasn't grogu's story to begin with #it was din's #just like ice age wasn't actually about the baby at all #it was about manny #whereas in shazam the story isn't about billy's mother it's about BILLY #mandalorian isn't grogu's story so there's nowhere for him to go now that he's not with the jedi #it's DIN'S STORY but grogu's part in it is over so he's just a money making accessory at this point

[starflungwaddledee]

Hey got a question, is it normal for your heartbeat to beat rapidly wherever you look at really tense or angsty scenes?

It's Just a question I had in mind

putting these together because they're clearly related. i admit these have me a little bit stumped, but i'll take this in good faith and do my best! under the cut because of length.

topics include: physiological reactions to fiction, emotional reactions/empathy of creators, and finally addressing the unspoken question present in asks like this.

"is it normal to have a physiological reaction (heart beat, jitters, excitement, sadness, etc) to fiction"

absolutely! i cannot overstate how common it is to have reactions of any wide variety to fiction. the whole point of storytelling is to make you feel things! the reactions you have, their intensity, and the specific media or genre you'll have those reactions to will vary person to person. in regards to angst in particular, like i've said on this topic before: reactions will vary. some people might get excited, others might get sad, others might feel it like a gut punch but in a really good and cathartic way. none of these are better or worse or more normal or more abnormal than the other.

"do i as a creator have an emotional reaction to the work i'm creating?"

i personally do, sure. i was actually quite explicit in the tags of the comic that came right before this ask that i found it hard to draw, because seeing kirby so sad was emotionally pulverising to me. do all creators? no. do i feel a strong emotional reaction to all scenes? no. or all types of content creation? no. for me, prose is actually much easier to tackle than illustration; i can write trauma and suffering and psychological devastation until the cows come home, but drawing it is a different matter. consuming the work of others is different again. and this is different for everybody. am i somehow morally better or more empathetic than an artist that doesn't struggle to draw characters sad? hell no! being able to represent- in fiction- a strong emotion generally requires that you empathise with or at least understand that emotion. sometimes creators actually have to be able to turn this off to be able to create the content we make; the way we turn off strict adherence to reality in order to write fantasy. if we couldn't do this, content across the board- art, movies, novels- would be flattened to nothing but the cheeriest and most mediocre parts of our day to day lives. no fun monsters (because those aren't real). no challenges to rise above (because those make us sad). no characters who have different experiences to us (because how could we imagine or feel for that). and it would be okay for like... twenty minutes of all books containing 'the sun was shining and i woke up on time and had a yummy breakfast', but then it would suck, sorry. conflict and imagination are the root of content.

"it's just a question I had in mind".

a way to think about this might be; would you ask these questions about genres that aren't angst? would you ask "is it normal to be happy when these characters finally reunite" or "is it normal to feel resolution in response to a happy ending" or "is it normal to feel excitement when a character has their cool hero moment". perhaps it's because your reaction to angst is something you construe as negative, but if you wouldn't doubt your reactions to cheerful content, then there's no reason to doubt the reactions you have to angst either; these are just reactions! fiction is designed to make us feel things, but what you feel will be up to you. no one feeling or response is better or worse than any others.

lastly, i feel like there is an unspoken question here that i don't like.

and maybe you didn't intend it. i'm going to extend that grace to you, and because you seem to need reassurance about this (though i will not be reassuring about this further. i do not like reassurance seeking from strangers and this is a boundary i am setting right now), this is not an attack or even a criticism. your questions are fine if they are coming from a place of curiosity and- i simply assume- that these are new or difficult concepts to you that you have yet to have explored or explained.

but on the good faith assumption you didn't intend it, and wouldn't want to do this again (especially if you message other creators), i think you should be aware.

because it sounds like this: "do the people who make sad/angsty/dark content care at all or are you heartless to the suffering (of these characters). is angst/dark content made by bad people?" i felt it the previous time i got a question like this too when it explicitly stated "you seem like a nice person", as if being a nice person was in contrast with what i was creating.

please. we are just people. the relative light or darkness of the content you make says absolutely nothing about your morals, your real life attitudes, or your ability to be an empath.

someone making cute animal art could be a school yard bully. someone writing a complex sci-fi warhorror fic could be the most altruistic and compassionate soul in the world.

in my experience, creators are some of the most empathetic people i have ever met, and many of them know their craft intimately. these are people capable of stepping into the shoes of others as easily as breathing. of sitting down at their work station every day and finding inside themselves a way to answer "how would this really feel?" so clearly and honestly that they can put it onto the paper for you to feel it too.

#being able to storytell in such a way that the reader feels something is a skill!! it is a Skill and not an accident or a moral failing. #if what someone's work makes you feel is not something you like; don't consume that work! #again... if angst is not for you you can block it from my work with this tag: cw angst #if it really hurts you my work may not be for you! this is a niche i am interested in and am *very grateful* to find others here are as wel #have seen this surprise expressed by other kirby angst/dark creators. it's a seemingly unlikely place but also the most likely place. #lastly: unempathetic creators also exist and are no better or worse than empathetic creators. #because lacking empathy is not a flaw and it also forms absolutely NOTHING about your morals. okay anyway. #once more: i will not be offering anymore reassurance to reassurance seeking. it makes me deeply uncomfortable. thanks. #also not to toot my own horn but that was a banger ending line. if you read to the end that's your reward. #replies

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

you know if we do accept the last epilogue-esque sequence as a sort of dream/wish of ted's and therefore not necessarily canon, very funny if we then simply go "yeah, trent's book is called 'the lasso way' actually. he didn't change that. nope."

#listen on one hand #i think that like #i don't think ted actually changed trent's mind about the title #i think trent changed it because ted asked him to #and like that's especially interesting bc he even made a point of being like #'tell me if you disagree with anything and i'll tell you why you're wrong' #but he respects ted; more than that he likes him and he wants him to like the book--like him #anyone else and trent would have told them to fuck off but ted? ted asking him to change the title? yeah #i think he didn't agree with 'it not being about him'--and not bc of any feelings he may have for ted--but if we accept that him changing #the title is canon then like. he did it because ted asked. nothing more nothing less #maybe he felt he owed it to ted as the subject of the book; maybe he just respected him too much not to #maybe it's partially bc of his feelings; maybe it's because he just couldn't say no to ted #but it's ultimately just. because ted asked him. #and trent respects him; trusts him; cares about him #and that's pretty heartwrenching #but like on the other hand if we say 'no that was ted's wishufl thinking trent definitely went 'sorry ted it's called the lasso way'' #also like.... him being like. like quietly not changing it and if ted said something him just. being like #ted. i respect you. i care about you. i trust you. but with all due respect absolutely not #yes it isn't ONLY about you but YOU made this happen. YOU are special and YOU have a place here whether you can stay forever or not #yes it's about the team and the coaches yes you aren't a one man band but ted. TED. you touched lives. you changed lives. and that was YOU. #that was you and your philosophy and your attitude. #you made richmond what it is today. yes the team deserve credit too for the kind of bond they have now but YOU facilitated that #none of the coaches currently here woudl be coaches if not for you. the diamond dogs wouldn't exist. literally every single one #of our friends--OUR friends--wouldn't be where they are and probably wouldn't be as happy #you got through to people over and over again who were hurting and lashing out. to rebecca. to roy. to jamie. to nate. to me. #and you can be humble but there's being humble and there's acting like you don't matter to any of us like you didn't have an impact #like you can just leave without a trace. we don't blame you for leaving--i especially don't--but acting like we won't miss you and like #your time with all of us--our time--meant nothing is more insulting than it is humble because we /love you/ #and yes. it was the goddamn lasso way that built this place #this community.

[carlyraejepsans]

with toriel and asgore it's like. they're both flawed and their flaws parallel one another, but they're not EQUALLY flawed... like..... come on......

#let's be serious here. just say you don't like toriel and move on. but don't pretend her hypocrisies were in any way comparable #in size in subsequent damage or in blame to asgore's own #the game goes out of its way to show asgore's actions as wrong. both towards his people and towards toriel. noble yes. sympathetic. tragic. #heartwrenching. narratively impeccable and capable of genuine chance. but fundamentally the wrong choice made by a good man #toriel may not have made the best possible choice at every turn but her final intentions were the morally correct ones #she just did what she KNEW was right. even when it meant leaving her entire life and people behind to live in isolation. #asgore backed toriel into that corner just as much as he did himself #he was a good man who was in a world of hurt and that decision hung over him for the rest of his life but it WAS. HIS. DECISION. #you cannot take that from him. you cannot take the teeth out of his character like that #and you cannot take toriel's role as the person who challanges and refutes his decision from her #her entire character was created as a subversion of rpg motherhood. and how it had so little of motherhood in it. #letting children venture out into the wilderness to face god knows what god knows where #WHICH IS!!! IN ITSELF!!!! A NARRATIVE PARADOX. because it's something that the genre requires for the story to exist #you can't play the whole game on tutorial. the contradictory nature of her stance between morality & ut's genre is built into her character #that's what makes her so freaking interesting to begin with!!!!!! like. #OUGH #undertale #toriel #asgore #entry log

[aroacettorney]

dont mind me. im simply just putting together a ludgercasey angst collection.

252

265

203

268

271

283

310

356

492

497

#aro ludgercasey propaganda #''why cant u be normal abt them'' how can i be normal abt them when solid 80% of their interactions is either angst or stemmed from angst. #even their ''fluff'' moments were also angst. #literally no one does angst like they do. #ludger prefers to keep most of his connections extremely impersonal/professional. #but whether or not he wants to admit it theirs on the other hand simply does not... fit in that category. #he'd even tried to convert it that way but it just didnt stick bc neither of them could help but be themselves around each other lmfao. #ludger is seemly still oblivious to caseys attempt to mend their personal relationship. #which is not too surprising considering he was also oblivious to the existence of their past relationship. #after all there was no reason for him to believe that casey would want to have anything to do with him. except maybe putting him in jail. #so pushing her away seems to be the most logical decision right? personal relationship is a luxury to him anyway. #alas casey who wanted to believe in their past friendship takes it as a sign that ludger has no interest in maintaining it. #she now has to take a step back because ''if you force a relationship it may become more estranged.'' #so unless he takes the initiative they are likely stuck in this limbo. #(casey might use impersonal excuses to stay around but rn its all up to ludger to change the nature of their relationship) #casey girlie forget him i would have treated you so much better... is what i would have loved to say. #i wouldnt be suffering this much if ludger wasnt clearly holding himself back most of the time / if it was completely one-sided from casey. #i dont know if this is a slow burn or hurt no comfort but if casey gets no closure im gonna commit arson 😔

[whywontuluvme]

So i've been binging the last 3 episodes of Marry My Husbad.

When I tell you the plot had my jaw hanging wide open in the first half hour, maybe even 15 minutes!!!

I'm on team Jihyuk, but tell me why I'm kinda rooting for Eunho...he was so soft at the end of episode 3 aghhhh

^^my exact reaction whenever Jihyuk or Eunho are blessing my screen^^

#i have never despised characters the way i do with Sumin and Minhwan #like.....have you no decency! no moral compass?!! #spoilers... #something about eunho wearing a fake promise ring because he couldnt move on from hia first love aka jiwon HURTS ME like youre telling me #such a man exists?!.....writing this caused me to come to terms with the crushing reality of Eunho being fictional ㅠ #and he may not be endgame but if he was i wouldnt be mad cos i would protect this man with my life!! #also i know for a fact Jihyuk knows wayyy more then he lets on #BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE WAY HE LOOKS AT JIWON #as if she is all there is and will ever be aghhhhh #the lift scene in episode two has be giggling and kicking my feet even if it was such a short scene #also the way this man just kept going after Jiwon in epsiode one making sure she was okay and not getting hurt aghhhh #im not wasting my time nor energy writing up the reasons i hate sumin and minhwan #those reasonings are pretty self explanatory if you watch it #i know i said i wouldnt watch ongoing dramas but the plot was toooooo good to pass up #kdrama #marry my husband #rant

[laniidae-passerine]

Honestly I think Dean Highbottom has some shit to answer to as well. The mockery, the derision, the outright admittance that he was hoping Coriolanus would fail and the Snow family would continue to suffer. How someone who loathed the Games still treated a young man with cruelty because of the past, because of social divides that would be so easy to tear down. In the end, it wasn’t just Gaul who shaped Snow into the man he became. So bitter and hateful. So incapable of compassion and forgiveness. Just like his father. Just like his Dean.

#like yeah there were a lot of things questionable about Snow even before he was chosen as a mentor in the games #but like. damn. you didn’t even consider the idea he could be better than his father did you? #the way kindness could have unravelled some of the hate in Snow’s heart #listen to me tell you the horrible things your father did. listen to me tell you that you can be different. you are not the past. #the divides between us do not truly exist. look at the weapon in your hand. it is real. and it can do real damage #but if you never hate someone - if they never fool you into letting violence into your heart - they can never make you use it #it breaks my heart. how could you hate a ghost so much that you’d kill a child. I don’t know. but the Dean does. and so does Snow. #the cycles run and run until somebody stops. and burns some bread. and shares berries. and takes an arrow. and says no more. I love you #it is difficult. it could hurt me. it could be the very last thing I do. it may not even serve me well. but I love you. I love. always. #how pathetic hate makes you. how strong love makes you. like staring at the Dean and staring at characters like Haymitch #like two substance abusing men who know the system inside out. who are complicit. who are victims. both embittered and angry. #but one saw a child and decided to punish him for the past #and the other saw a child and decided - okay. it’s been 23 years. my heart hurts. I want to give in. I want to hate you. I want to not care. #I’m going to care anyway. I’m in so much pain. It’s killing me. I’m going to care anyway. about you both. it won’t be perfect. but I care. #and I’ll be here through hell. and I will fuck up. so fucking badly. because I’m still addicted and angry and god knows I have suffered. #god knows these hands are bloody and they always will be. but I will keep coming back. I will keep trying. I will still love. #and in the end I will write names in a book that belongs to you and I will find a little bit of peace in a house where the sun shines #and the geese make ridiculous noises in the yard. and love will have seen me through. #HAYMITCH YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS I LOVE YOU MY IMPERFECT DARLING #dean highbottom #coriolanus snow #the hunger games #a ballad of songbirds and snakes #haymitch abernathy #thg #abosas #suzanne collins #SHE WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS

[citnamora]

Aro who enjoys platonic content: Oh wow, this media I just found is full of affectionate friendships! And it's got a pretty sizeable fan base!! I bet I'll find loads of fan content that reflects the canon relationshi-

Fandom infected with the plague that is amatonormativity: They're dating. More than friends. There's no heterosexual explanation for this! Fellas, is it gay to *insert a behavior that can be interpreted a number of ways*?

Aro who enjoys platonic content, and no longer feels welcome in this space: Nevermind.

#hot aro shit #aros in fandoms #fandom aro #listen. I like my shipping too. but the way some of y'all are so quick to undermine a dynamic because it's explicitly platonic #is a problem. there is a way to ship something without being a butthead to the rest of us about it. next time you post these #things. consider the people in the room you may be going after with your statement. a lot of us feel fandoms are hostile places #where an interpretation that contradicts fanon will paint a target on our backs. because yes. it has #you don't have to prove a ship to like it. and there's a hundred other ways to phrase the 'more than friends' crap. #some examples: different than friends. something other than friends. changed to something else #and that's just off the top of my head. it's that easy. you can do it I promise #anyways. break the cycle. and to all my aros out there who love platonic content and have to dig through whatever shitstorm the tags are #we belong here. we are in this fandom if we want to be. our existence hurts no one. you are just as much a fan as the rest of us.

[zack-hazbin-blog]

okay they will get a big post soon but i just. i am having the most insane brainrot abt Luci, Lilith, and their dynamic with Charlie. Lilith is by far the more emotionally involved parent with Charlie, Luci hit the depression thing really hard and kind of like, forcibly kept himself out of Charlie's life Never Love An Anchor by The Crane Wives style, hes afraid of being like HIS parent (god) and being too controlling so he ended up being absent instead. Hes like Moana's dad in Where You Are. Lilith is like, she'd be the Moana's grandma part in that song, she isn't afraid of Heaven and she isn't ashamed of where shes landed. Do you know that song What We Have Is You from Kipo

That song is like the most Lili and baby Charlie thing, Lucifer is a beast of longing, he misses Heaven he misses his Brothers he misses the Stars he misses the Music he misses the Open Air and Sunshine and Rain but Lilith is making the best of what they have here. "we've got eachother, and thats even better." OKAY. IM INSANE. AUGH.

#the morningstars are eating my BRAIN #Lilith absolutely does show up at the hotel sometimes to check up on charlie and vaggie #she likes angel she thinks he's neat #shes far more involved with actually ruling hell than Luci is #shes probably the one that arranges for the hotel to be exempt from the exterminations #ALLL OF THE GRANDMA TALA SONGS ARE SO HER #you are your fathers daughter.... stubborness and pride #mind what he says but remember you may hear a voice inside #IM ILL IM AFFLICTED #also this isnt to say that luci loves charlie any less than lili does #because that is certainly not the case #shes his starlight he loves her so fucking much hes just afraid #she reminds him of Micheal #she reminds him of everything he should have been #she reminds him of Home in the most devastating way #shes holier than anything in Hell should be #what has he done? he has only cursed her to have to exist in this awful place #he doesn't deserve to hold her #he'll only hurt her in the end this is for the best #hes so mentally ill okay #god i love them #okay tags #hazbin hotel #hazbin rewrite #hazbin redesign #hazbin au #hazbin lucifer #hazbin lilith #hazbin charlie

[mydr3aminvi0let]

i wear a lot of skirts and pink and whatnot as my style has developed with me & my personality but when one of those age regression girlies latch onto me....i do not like that

#like oh....you think im one of them...bestie no im freshly 23 and im happy i made it this far i dont wanna go back #sometimes i hate being 5'2 with a small frame you have to be very careful and kinda vet everyone you interact with #idk there's a complex discussion to be had. i am someone who has went through what they fetishize and i know a lot of girls in that #community have too. so i worry a lot if if my behaviors and preferences accidentally align with that community in ways i don't realize #bc trauma will always reveal itself. idfk. when i was 20 i got in a relationship with a man who was 30 because i misheard him and thought #he was 24. i thought he was okay until we were at this giftshop and he wanted to get me something but as giftshops are super expensive #i mentioned i could fit in childrens clothes and it saves me a lot of money ($60 shoes are $30 for kids) and tbh fit my frame better #so he was “prove it” so i did and mf said “THATS HOT” ??????????? BITCH #my style wasn't even feminine in the slightest at the time 😑 it feels like a curse to have this kind of trauma then never outgrow this body #believe me ik how trauma changes your brain but how #as a woman #can you ever be apart of that community? why do you allow this to continue and not persecute these men for existing? #you're inherently enabling it and saying its okay this happened to you and its okay that other adults can hurt other kids #when my rapist got put in prison i screamed i yelled i sang i danced my friends set off FIREWORKS for me #when he got out i cried more than i ever have. i moved STATES (not the sole rzn but nonetheless) not that i was in the one he was in prison #in anyways but i was so fucking petrified he'd find me again. its embarrassing but i started sleeping with a chastity belt again. #i made more phone calls i ever have in my life to people who have and will get their hands dirty #i understand the self hatred those girls have. i understand the girls who sleep with everyone to take some of their power back. #i even understand the girls who want to get raped if they got assaulted but it never felt like enough for the pain they're experiencing #but please stay the fuck away from me. as someone who has tried to heal and wants every man like that erased from earth. #do not give them an ounce of attention. ostracize them like they're meant to be. leave it to god for their karma they will be dealt with #reckon with your pain and make sure it never happens to anyone else. only the harmed can make the greatest teachers #tbh bro i am disgusted with myself at all that those are the kinda vibes i put out. #what are you supposed to do as a woman when feminity is equalized with infantilism? i think its tone deaf and misguided whem girls are like #i dress this way to contradict societies views!!! babes its a whole cultural issue that requires reviewing and reforming #you are not doing anything revolutionary by wearing frilly skirts and saying im not like them bc they see you and ur automatically boxed in #i dress how i want and say what i want but i know as a individual im not the beacon of a groundbreaking movement #singularily flipping society on its head. dress how you want but be aware of the connotations. you're living in this society here and now #there's consequences that may not be in your favor and youll be assumed to have values that dont align with you and it may break your heart

[theinnermeyoullneverknow]

I fucking hate "wealth management" companies.

#Like I know our current economic system pretty much requires them #But I can't help feeling that they shouldn't exist #A family member set up an account for me #And I appreciate the thought but #I'm just reading the terms and conditions and I keep going #Fucking bourgeoisie bullshit #I'm not even a communist or actually solid socialist #But goddam #Every bulletpoint is like “we may do this but we don't have to” #Fuck man wtf kind of client agreement is that #I have half a mind to liquidate this account immediately after getting it officially opened but I feel like that would be hurtful #The account managers or whatever there seem nice enough but I honestly don't want them handling money connected to me #They're part of the “shareholders' proffits are the priority” structure and from what little I've seen seem to hold that value #Which I really don't jive with #And like I said their ~contract~ is more about what they're ALLOWED to do that what they are OBLIGATED to do which just seems sketchy #Drunk tumblring #Yes I'm drinking while reviewing legally-binding documents #It didn't start out that way. This bullshit drove me to it. #At least my drinking decent whiskey like the people who actually use these companies. Lol #Fml #Why couldn't you just open a CD at a normal bank ffs #Tbh another reason not to completely close out everything and tell them to fuck off is #that I have aspirations of setting up like a trust fund (or something?) for my disabled friend in case I die #I should get on that #And I figure that's something these people could help with #In spite of what I said before #Idk man #I am just straight-up not having a good time bro #first world problems

[the-jam-to-the-unicorn]

Hi Jammy! Should we hope for some ficlet chapter today/tomorrow??👀

Yes! 🤗

I have planned only writing today, so I should get things done! 😊

#also everyone a round of kudos to my amazing boyfriend who created me a comfortable writing set up #im usually not a fan of writing while laying somewhere i prefer sitting #which hurts after a short while thanks to my fucked up back #he got extra plushy pillows and he arranged them in a way where i am half sitting half laying #sitting enough so i can write but laying down enough so my back can rest and is not hurting so fast #i just wanted to share this because im still so touched ♥♥♥ #and yes yes to some it may seem like a small thing to do and not important or whatever but for me it meant the world #my mental health was really bad and i struggled so much with everything and he just supported me in the best way possible #he was already so supportive when i beat myself up and felt so down for taking a break because of my back #and then when i told him about my struggling with my back while writing #and he literally was like alright ill find a solution AND HE DID ♥♥♥ #girls guys everyone...never settle for someone who doesnt love you and gives a flying fuck about you #youre not asking too much #partners who genuinely care and love and support like that exist in real life #and yes he also randomly checks in on me while i write and brings me snacks and something to drink #and is totally chill with having alone time while i write #not once he got angry for me disappearing for hours behind my screen or something #instead he is always super supportive and sweet and happy for me when i tell him about my writing

[infizero]

shut UPPPPPPPPPPP someone just put the clip of tiny manticore telling betty "maybe you're going after someone who doesn't exist anymore" with simon trying to bring back betty back ohhhh i feel sick

#thats it exactly. #i reallyyyyy think its a good conclusion. betty probably SHOULD HAVE just accepted that simon was gone and learned to appreciate ice king #for who he was. it was seemingly impossible to get him back. she literally had to become part of a fucking chaos god just to do it #and this sacrifice really seemed to only hurt them both in the long run. and then it was reversed - simon tries to bring betty back #which is similarly impossible. but instead of letting him make some sort of crazy sacrifice like she did. she has finally realized that #she may have made the wrong choice and she wont let him do the same. its breaking the cycle of self-sacrifice its making up for her mistake #its her saying i may have ruined our chances of happiness together because i couldnt accept that you had changed. #there isnt any way for us to be together now. but i wont let you do the same. i gave up everything to let you have a second chance at life #and perhaps that was a mistake. but dont let it go to waste. dont give up everything like i did. just live your life. #let me go. let me let YOU go. accept that the past is flawed and beautiful and you cannot return to it. just let it exist as the past. #and keep that love in your heart and let yourself actually have a future instead of clinging onto these impossible hopes of returning #to that past. do what i did not. #godddddd the full-circleness of it all. i love these two so much #im so happy they finally got closure #serena.txt