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good-vs-evo · 2 days

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not to expose myself as a cavetown fan (HDJFJS) but i was listening to alone from his new album (i added it to xie lian’s playlist a while ago) and it hit like so much harder now that i finished the books

⚠️ spoilers for book 6!! (i think) (white calamity arc) (anyways) ⚠️

"I feel like I bought all my friends Am I your bud or your boss?"

this one reminds me of when mq left and xl started kind of panicking. he thought mq left because he didn't care enough to stay now that he wasn't getting paid, and gave his last valuable possession in an attempt to ensure that he would stay. he doesn't have a great sense of whether or not what he had with mq and fx was friendship (IT WAS BECAUSE I SAID SO AND BECAUSE THEY SHOW EACH OTHER SO MANY TIMES THAT THEY GENUINELY CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER) and he thought he had to keep paying fx off.

but fx was genuinely sticking around because he was loyal and because he cared about what happened to xl :(

"I'm wanting to beg 'em to stay I'm wanting to be who they choose But still I keep pushing away From people I don't wanna lose"

xl truly did not want to lose fx after everything that happened. he lived in that constant state of fear that fx would disappear and he'd be alone, and did so much to try to make sure it wouldn't happen.

in the end, the anxiety and fear was too much for him and he pushed fx away for good. he described the feeling of freedom of that fall. he was the one to cut fx off and make him leave, and it gave him the power. he made the decision and he made the final move, and when fx left he didn't ever have to think about how he might've felt if fx was the one who left him of his own will.

"Isn't it fun to be alone? Isn't it what you want? Isn't it something you've been looking for? Isn't it fun?"

after slowly pushing everyone away and ending up entirely alone, and after everything that happened with wu ming, xl would've never admitted that it wasn't really what he wanted. not after wu ming. so he kept acting like that was what he wanted, like he wasn't feeling lonely, like it didn't hurt, because he wanted to feel pain and suffer for everything that he took as his own blame. he saw it as his fault, all a product of his own foolishness and selfishness and naivety, so the loneliness he chased was his curse to bear.

SORRY IF THIS DOESN'T MAKE SENSE OR. IS INACCURATE. I'M JUST YK GOING INSANE W MY THOUGHTS JAHSDGFASD

#tgcf #tian guan ci fu #heaven official's blessing #xie lian #feng xin #mu qing #xianle trio #wu ming #tgcf analysis #evo yaps #god can u tell i think abt them all the time #they never leave my mind #im so normal tbh

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sea-jello · 1 year

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every single little detail they managed to fit into bmc

yeah there are SO MANY details in this show and its driving me crazy so im gonna amass everything into posts

ik many of these are well known or obvious or whatever but im doing it so anyone who didnt know about any of these could easily learn it all in one go without having to scour the internet or rewind and watch the background in every single scene yk (also i noticed so many of these myself and im kinda proud and its a way for me to get it all out)

i’m also going to be using @/thesquirrelqueer's be more chill archive which is amazing and frankly scary so go give em some love

edit i changed my mind halfway through this cause thats gonna take me forever so if you want to see all the visual details go check that out. its like thats the artists reference and this is the writers reference i think all the little quirks showcase their personality quite well

im gonna start all the way from the beginning so FIRST UP is 2river's "More Than Survive" (album+show, specifically the one 35 minute 👢)

im telling you its LONG so prepare yourself for that. maybe pull up the video to watch side by side so yk what im talking about (the video on yt is "this isnt be more chill" because its NOT be more chill) tiny warning for very mild nsfw mentions cause its bmc

from the first "c-c-c-cmon" up to "and now of course its time to hit the road" theres a sound that sounds like a mouse clicking to the beat in the background. i thought this was to reflect the show when jeremy stops clicking at his laptop at the line "and now of course its time to hit the road" to gets up and put his pants on, but during "but that really isnt such a change/if im not feeling weird or super strange" you can still hear the clicks. maybe its there just for repetitions sake cause it breaks off at "which means ill be uncomfortable all day" and resumes for those two lines, then you dont hear it again. you can hear this one very clearly if you watched the show, but its a little fainter in the album (i figured it out from the album lmao go me)

during the bus scene in the show when everyones going to their places, jeremy almost crashes into rich and you can hear his voice hitch

christine watches this interaction before "sitting down" on the bus to read

i think brooke is asleep during the bus ride, and gets woken up when the bus jerks forward

jake nearly drops his phone too (again this is all based on the 35 minute video on yt. im sure small things change every show, but this is all we got so im picking this one apart)

jeremy keeps smoothing his hair behind his right ear with his palm, probably a nervous gesture. he does it when they "get off the bus"

during the ensembles (i dont think thats the right word but it just makes it easier for me you know who im talking about) "c-c-c-cmon", michael loses his signal on his phone when they get to school, hence the "cmon"

chloe impatiently gestures to brooke to "cmon" and follow her (yk)

jenna waves to christine. christine puts her book down and waves back, then again just watches jenna and then people

rich messes with jenna and she goes to hit him

after the "c-c-c-cmon"s rich jumps out from backstage and hits jeremy in the nuts you can hear jeremys faint noise of pain

in the little dance break jake and jenna are dancing on opposite sides of the stage, then wave at each other (im pretty sure). jeremy looks back and forth between them while they dance and mistakenly waves to jenna when they spin around (just watch it youll know what i mean)

when chloe, brooke and jenna are gossiping, up to jakes "its a good thing i rock at pool" the "rich set a fire" tune plays in the background (something something gossip rumors) chloe is holding a textbook with the earth on it, so science or something probably. there’s a magazine article page that says “what cheating does to [i can’t see what it says]”, which i’m assuming is a reference to jake?? she also have page cutouts of hair products, straighteners, etc, and i think a picture of either taylor swift or brooke i really can’t tell 💀💀when rich writes on jeremys backpack, he pulls him up by the collar to say "youre dead", then pushes him (jeremy pushes his hair back again) into mr reyes' path where hes walking to put up the play sign up sheet. (side note gerards voice cracked on 'dont touch me tall ass" so it sounds like hes having a tantrum and will connolly looks like a meerkat and i love them both)

when jake says "its a good thing i rock at pool" chloe and brooke hide behind a pillar and listen in, then chloe does a sort of "i told you so" gesture. during the whole "i navigate the dangerous hall" scene, brooke chases after chloe as she storms off upset. rich messes with jenna again and she chases him offstage, then mr reyes follows (im pretty sure he pinched her ass) i dunno if this is a coincidence but christine runs after them offstage too. christine and jenna friendship w

jeremy genuinely sounds so excited when he realized it was a sign up sheet and i wholeheartedly believe he wanted to join the play even before christine, she was just the final push

when the ensemble comes back out before the "christiiiiiiiiine" mr reyes comes out dragging rich by the ear while jenna smugly walks behind them (read back to him pinching her ass). rich flips him off after he lets go. jake walks past chloe without looking up from his phone and chloe does a 180 to chase after him. forgot to mention michael has his hood on and bops to his music in the background of all the ensemble scenes but yk its pretty well known

oh god class scene here we go. rich and jake make the 👌👈 sign at michael. rich very aggressively shoves his WHOLE HAND into the circle and opens his hand. jenna raises her hand and mr reyes brushes her off in favor of trying and failing to get jake to stop, so he moves on to rich. he puts a hand on richs arm and sorta makes the "wtf" gesture. rich makes the "sorry about that" motion with his hand still around his wrist which is kinda funny to me (just watch it i cant even describe it) jake turns to talk to brooke, who was previously talking to chloe. jenna waves to christine again. also christine seemed really shy every time jenna waves at her, and never waves first. idk if this is a coincidence but chloe flips her hair back and brooke mirrors it right after. there’s a poster for an anime club on the bulletin board with the sign up sheet

MICHAEL

jeremys fucking bops to his intro i love him

really quick when michael goes "and were almost at the end of this song" and does his dance jeremy bops along with him. NOW if we stretch a bit and say this actually happened then that means jeremy knew what song he was listening to/where hes at based on him dancing to it earlier they know each other so well they are best friends and possibly boyfriends in this essay i will

jeremy flops his head to the side on the beat and with michaels "how was class" slap hes so dramatic

i think i might be tripping but right after "i hate this school" and during the tore it up and flushed it thing michael in the bathroom plays very very faintly in the bg. IM NOT TRIPPING in the album mitb plays during the humanity stopped evolving thing up to "better time in history to be a loser". and THEN from "so own it" up to the christine jingle THE PANTS SONG PLAYS. you can just barely hear it in the boot too

during the first "canigula" michael waves in front of jeremys face and he kicks at him

before jeremys sign up verse michael takes his lunch tray and jerks his head towards the sheet in a "go on" motion and then ofc pushes him towards it HES SUPPORTIVE OF HIM HELLO this furthers my belief of jeremy being a secret theatre kid. jeremy looks back at him on "who cares if people think im lame" like hes reassuring himself can you hear my heart

when rich shouts "GAAAY" mr reyes points and goes after him

when they all come out to dance, jeremy first mistakenly waves to chloe when she waves at jenna, then rich when he goes to dap jake up, then tries to wave at michael but he spins away while presumably listening to his music. christine just watches chloe and brooke talk again

when they all start slowly standing up at the "go"s jeremy looks so confused

also when he jumps off the chair that is PEAK meerkat moment. then he lands and just stands there for like a solid 3 seconds its so funny to me

LORD almighty we're done that took weeks okay uhh please tell me if i should do EVERYTHING everything like broadway off broadway australia cause lord knows im the ceo of bmc australia rn also i dont want to sound pretentious but please reblog cause i spent so much time and effort on this useless fucking post 😭😭 but whatever i had fun

#WOW i am so normal about this fucking show #also a while ago i learned fucking joe iconis is in fact on tumblr so mr joe iconis if you see this hello you have a very nice musical #shoutout to thesquirrelqueer for giving me permission to use the archive even though i ended up not using it #like i said thats the artists reference and this is the writers reference #watching the background gives you a lot of insight into the characters #i tried to seperate them into sections i hope its not too hard to read #im heavy tagging this idc im not spending so long on this for it to flop #bmc #be more chill #be more chill musical #bmc two river #be more chill two rivers #jeremy heere #michael mell #rich goranski #brooke lohst #chloe valentine #jenna rolan #jake dillinger #christine canigula #bmc jeremy #jeremy bmc #michael bmc #bmc michael #rich bmc #bmc rich #bmc brooke #bmc chloe #bmc jenna #bmc jake

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drainxx · 3 months

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Jan 11 2023

Big update!!

Where I’ve been

I know I’ve been gone for a long time now and I keep saying I’m coming back, but the truth is, I’ve been really struggling. I’ve been with family most days since the new year, having no time for steps while watching kids, and having to eat all their meals in front of them with no way of counting my cals.

What’s been up

Through it all I kept telling myself I’d just get right back up once I had the chance but that chance never came and I kept having to eat with family day after day without counting. It triggered me into over eating and I let myself slip into an awful mess of eating and getting fat.

Why I stayed away, and why I’m back

I felt really discouraged to come back on here, respond to any of my messages, or make any updates or check ins until I was truly back on track because I’m really tired of posting setbacks and failures- that’s not what what my blog is about. This is a place where I share my progress, goals, hold myself accountable and where I can find understanding with all you guys through this sh!t. But really for me, this is just a place where I organize my thoughts and journey, even if no one ever reads all this crap, though it means a lot to me when I see the people who comment or show in some way that they can relate and I’m not alone.

The good news/ my time away wasn’t all bad!

My sister hammy downed me her old Apple Watch that was kinda broken because she got a new one as a gift. It works fine for what I use it for and not only does it track my steps, standing and movement, but my sister and I started a 7 day challenge to exercise more than each other and it’s really motivating me to move and get my steps in.

She also introduced me to some skincare products that have been helpful for her and I’m starting to get into a lot of things that could fit under the “self care” activities category, and as kinda cringey as that sounds, I’m starting to enjoy doing things like that and working to improve my quality of life a bit. Just little things that are slowly making me feel and look good yk? Like having a skincare routine, doing my makeup, painting my nails, avidly using chapstick and stuff.

Regaining hope and getting back on track

Not only is this whole “self care” thing a great distraction and other source of dopamine aside from food, but it’s actively helping me “glow up” and I feel like I could just add a few more habits into the stuff I’m already starting to do to get me back on track like, drinking more water, fasting longer and more consistently, getting 10k steps and counting calories. And if I continue to make it a fun thing that I get used to, eventually I’ll get to me gw without even thinking about it! Plus nicer skin :)

I’m back!

Starting Jan 11th (today), I’m getting back on track. To prove to myself that I got this and that my heads still in the game, today I walked well over 15k steps, burned 630 calories throughout the day and I’m currently 8hrs into a 24hr fast. Here we go.

More info about what my goals going forward are in my next post! :)

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etherealascend · 1 year

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hii it's unorcadox ^_^ how does your editing process work!!! like how do you choose what images to use, how to combine them, how to get the right "feel" etc. 👀 very curious abt ur answer

Damn, great question! Also, love your edits, Orca! (also a bit jelous abt your productivity, wish i had so many great ideas) So i present to you: a wall of text! (cw really long!)

So, many people see a great base image and then immideately get an idea of what they wanna do w/ it. I'm not like that, i ususally have an idea of an edit in mind, and then search for sometimes a few hours for a base image that may work. I have a whole tutorial-worthy process of how i always find what i need, but i digress… Most of the times, tho, i get something better than what i had in mind. I love this process, cause it's like tresure hunting for me. (ofc it's not always like that, just most of the time. Since i have a giant collection of base images i may sometimes use them). I choose my images based on the mood i wanna portray. It's always supposed to be looking kinda dreamlike and unreal, but it can also be creepy, dark, bright, etc.

When editing my favourite style of edits - fake dreamlike places - I try to make them look as real as possible, regarding color, lighting, etc, while still making them look blatantly fake regarding the composition, subject matter, etc. Ofc i don't try to perfect my lighting, since it can take away the feeling i strive for, so it's kinda based on my own feelings idk. I get really inspired by the surrealists' painting. Artists like Brent Wong, for example. Liminal spaces are already weird, so why not make them even weirder, by making the geometry non-Euclidean and subject matter impossible in the real world. Also unlike surrealist painters, i have a luxiry of making the scene like "more real" by combining actual photos in photoshop. Ofc people have been making surreal art w/ 3d programs forever now, but it still doesn't give off the same feeling real picture does, yk.

Uhh... what was i talking about... Ah, yes! I firstly make a collage, that i have in mind by this point, and sometimes it just... doesn't work out! i had discarded so many great ideas, cause they weren't turning out good. But if it works, i add shadows and highlights. I look at real liminal space photos and try to really analyze them. Like, what makes them work? the color, the quality, the blurriness? Then i add effects that works to my edit. Every edit needs it's own level of compression, sharpness, blurriness... You just gotta feel it.

Really important step. I leave my edit for a few hours, so i forget how it looks, and then return later. All the imperfections, things that don't work, etc pop out immediately. I read somewhere that the process of creating and the process of analyzing are two completely different things, and i couldn't agree more. It's annoying when you have a finished edit, and you really wanna show it to the world, but you have to wait... But it's better, than being embarrassed later that you posted something unfinished and you can't fix it now.

Ofc i make text edits as well, but they basically serve the same purpose and not that interesting to describe, cause process is the same just with a few steps skipped.

There wasn't such question, but i still wanna talk about it, cause it kinda answers "how do you get the right feel". Well, why do i make edits? Well, the world sucks ass (i don't agree w/ this statement for the most part, like friends are great, nature is buitifull, but then there are parts that just... yk...) and for me weirdcore is a sort of an escapism. I can't traverse dreamworlds mindlessly, alone or come across magical events in real world, sadly. But I can make them however i would like them to look and feel, with my characters (like deer), and my own thoughts about them, that no one except me knows. It's kinda like i actually've been there, and i took a picture. Or hell, maybe i've never been here myself, but those deer were, or invisible creatures, that are not in the shot. And i know them personally, cause i made them, they are a part of myself! And it really helps, and i'm so glad these pictures resonate with so many more people here too! I had been making these pictures without realising why for a year. I had some thoughts and heard dozens of opinins of other pople, but i hadn't had a full picture. And then a video by SuperEyePatchWolf about liminal spaces comes out, and i get it now, it was really eye opening, for me at least. It explains really well why we love unreality so much.

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mangoposts · 3 months

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ok sooo basically i’m a bit stressed about LIFE and i just wanna rant

i’m currently in college doing a psych/arts degree but the only reason i’m doing it is because i don’t know what i want to do in life (career wise) and i didn’t want to NOT go to college because then i’d feel behind? like i’d just be working which is fine but like idk if just doing that would help me figure out what i wanted to do in the future HOWEVER i’m IN college rn and still i don’t know what i want to do

like i chose this degree because it has a lot of career options, like more variety, but like i’m not really enjoying it much either (i just feel like i’m in school again but with less friends)

i’m just so conflicted because it’s like sooo boring but then it’s like-well at least i’m actually doing something yk?

but THEN i’m like well what’s the point??!!! if i don’t actually know what career i’m working towards?

and like if I was just working (i’m a waitress) then i would have more free time and be getting more money so likee😭

but THEN im like well can’t just work a regular job forever can i ??

basically i’m asking ur thoughts because i’m lowkey jealous of u girl like ur living such a slay life just working and then having free time whereas like i have to write stupid papers on stuff i don’t care about and i feel like i’m wasting my time AND money

i know i’m just stressing about the future too much but i’ve already done a whole year and i don’t feel any different about like careers etc

like do you have a plan for the future?? (i’m guessing no cus u give me more spontaneous vibes)

anywayyysss this was so long sawrryyyy love u ❤️

I know exactly how you feel, when I was younger I was an advocate for college a lot because I did have a lot of passion for becoming a psychologist, I finished majority of my time in college and then that’s when I found my current job and to be honest i just began falling in love with it, I was kind of in the same boat where it started to feel more like stress and less like passion, and it started to overwhelm me and since I knew that I had a source of income without fully graduating i lost sight of what i was really doing it for. I can’t encourage you to work full-time and forget about your studies because there are times when I do regret not going all the way with college. But if you’re going through a period of stagnancy with college and you’re struggling to see your future then I think you need to have this conversation with yourself and find something that really motivates you. Life is extremely short and you shouldn’t waste it on doing something that you’re not 100% happy with. If you’re only doing it because it makes you feel productive then this could lead you somewhere you don’t want to be later on in life

for me personally, I felt most happy with just working and being able to live my life the way I want it without the access stress. It took awhile for me to actually finalize my decision but in the end im very happy with how my life turned out so it played a good part. I don’t have a plan for the future because every time I plan for something it ends up going wrong LMFAO I kind of just go with the flow and I do what feels right in the moment, my current job is what’s getting me by and making me happy and I can see myself working here for another 50 years even when I’m 80 years old. even if it’s not typically considered a passion to most people it’s something that I am passionate and I’m very happy with, so when I think about the future, I think about where I am now

it starts and ends with you, everybody is different, and everybody has their own passions. You need to really sit down and have a conversation with yourself about where you see yourself in the future. And if you don’t see yourself investing into what you’re studying for then I think you need to consider a different route and focus on what makes you the happiest. Even if it seems a bit unrealistic, I always encourage people to do whatever their heart wants😭 . You just need to find it. i’m sorry I’m not the best at giving advice on this. I just relate to it so much and I also had no idea what to do at the time. I just ended up finding some thing I really loved in the midst of college and I chose that over it

#🥭

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fiaampiree · 11 months

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SUMMER GLOW UP

—Welcome back ! Or welcome

Howdy my dear gems ! It’s me fiaanii and here I’m gonna break down the SECRET OF ULTIMATE GLOW UP !!

So… let’s go

We will divide this into 2 parts

PHYSICAL GLOW UP

MENTAL GLOWUP

Let’s first define what glowup actually means ¿!

Glow up :: a significant transformation, typically in physical appearance, that is perceived as an improvement. It's the process of turning yourself into a better version of yourself and becoming more confident, attractive, and successful.

And first we will start with PHYSICAL GLOW UP as I believe that if you feel good physically then it can make you feel good and beautiful mentally

Note : you’re beautiful the way you are this is just to enhance your beauty

physical glow up

Know your body & yourself ::

Knowing your face features and working on them accordingly can make a big change in your appearance! And it will enhance your own beauty—! And ISTG @dear peachie is a the best YouTube channel I can suggest you when it comes to know about yourself more ! Their channel can help you recognise your face shape your face type and also help you with finding your make up syle and over all appearance !

Clear skin ::

yup ! This is in the list as well like come on who doesn’t want a clear skin ¿ and I will tell you my own routine and also the tips

1. Get to know your skin type [ mine is dry skin ]

Well get your face wash and stuff according to your skin type and I’m telling you this because I myself choose the wrong face wash and I kinda regret it ! Coz it messed up my face and now I’m dealing with pimples

2. Now as you got to know your skin buy the product accordingly

Now have a routine I will tell you mine

First I was my face with a korean foam face wash but before washing my face I like to massage my face with coconut oil and gua sha then I use rose water as a toner and spray in on my face [ it helped me with pimples] also while washing my face I usually use cold water since my skin doesn’t like hot or warm water !

Then I use my moisturiser and I use baby cream as a moisturiser! Then I just use my sunscreen I use it from lakmé and yeah ! That’s it

Workout ::

Well workout as it has many benefits not only to be in shape I mean yeah it’s also a priority but also to feel good about your body and be more confident within yourself!

Vibe & aura ::

Create your own vibe and aura that you like ! Be yourself and don’t care what others think just don’t give a fuck be who you want ! Do what you want—! No one gets to tell you what to do ! Also YK creating a playlist to make you feel that way helps alot ! And I literally listen to the songs and playlist to have that kinda vibe which I want

HAIR ::

I use rice water for my hair ! It’s quite simple to use just soak rice in water the day before you have to wash your hair and then when you have to wash it ! Just rinse you hair with rice for like an hour then just wash it like you usually do ! I do it and it helped me alot !

Also for hair style I will recommend @dear peachie as they show you which hairstyle is best for your face shape as my face shape is diamond so I just go with Wonyoung’s hairstyle as they suit me the best and rosé’s hairstyle aswell

At night time ::

At night time I like to just wash my face without the face wash and then I like to moisturise it with the cream and yeah ! That’s it

Lips ::

Many ppl don’t mention the lip part but yeah ! I love to scrub my lips using my own DIY lip scrub coz I’m born at in a strict family and they won’t buy me a lip scrub so I decided to DIY it so… take sugar , honey and coconut oil mix them together and that’s it and then after I’m done I like to ise vasline for my lips !

Beauty hacks ::

Use coconut oil for long lashes or thick eye brow

Keep two spoons in fridge then take them in the morning and massage with them under your eyes for de-puffing your face

Do face yoga to get slimer and defined face

Mental glow up

Once you have a really good and powerful mindset no one can stop you from being your best self

Be your own therapist ::

Now take a diary rant on it , write your emotions, explain your day your problem and just imagine it as your best friend who won’t judge you and help you to feel better! When I tell you that paper had more patience than real people I’m telling you the fact ! Being your own therapist can help you be yourself better and just clear up your mind once you share everything with your diary

Explore ::

Go to new places and explore them try to socialise or go on date with yourself yk solo dates spend some time with yourself! Go to cafe or a restaurant and make bunch of friends but don’t get attached to anyone! DONOTTT ! Be bold and confident because you live once and you won’t get that moment in life again so just goo for it ! You don’t wanna be old and regret to not give a goo and enjoy instead you wanna remember those beautiful memories!

Don’t give a Fu.k ::

I Personally love this one ! Because it says your energy from being wasted and your mood probably too…!

All you gotta do is react less and ignore the things that you don’t like or the people you don’t like ! Simple

Eg - they make fun of you because you’re being you :: don’t give a f and enjoy what you’re doin’

You’re bestie showed you her/his real colours and turned out to be a nasty ugly creature [ and a plastic] don’t react it was probably a lesson for you , ignore her / him

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devoti · 1 year

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oh yes yes i did write some fukuzawa smut on my old blog but i deleted all of it 😭😭 very much regretting it rn because WHY IS IT SO HARD TO FIND GOOD SMUT WITH HIM !! i definitely see him as a soft but strict dom tho yk, nanami vibes if you will. he likes to please you but he also doesn't mind punishing you if you don't obey him HE'S A MENACE THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY ! also, i can definitely see him being into pet play for some reason, he'd definitely put you in some kitten ears and ask you to call him master or some shit BUT MAYBE I AM IMAGINING A BIT TOO MUCH ON THAT ONE

i can't even judge you for not liking fukuchi because your reasons are really valid BUT I AM COMPLETELY INSANE AND OPERATE ON A HORNINESS BASIS so i do simp for that old man EVEN IF he had the audacity to mess with our precious akutagawa 😭 he's just so hot eight idk I NEED TO BE TAG TEAMED BY HIM AND FUKUZAWA OR I'LL NEVER KNOW PEACE PLEASEEEEEE

and nooo not mori babe 😭😭😭 only because it's you i'll let it pass because you are perfect and can't do anything wrong 🫶( and also because he is actually kinda hot in the manga BUT YOU DIDN'T HEAR ME SAY THAT )

dis' is a sign for you to write more fukuzawa smut then 😵‍💫😵‍💫 n' to tag me because WILL I READ THE FUCK OUT OF IT !!!!!!! ARGHHHHH

and you DID NOT JUST BRING PET PLAY INTO THIS 😭😭😭😭 FUKUZAWA SPLURGING ON PRETTY LIL' COLLARS AND FURRY PINK TAILS ON YOU JUST FOR FUN AND TO MAKE YOU SO HAPPY <33 gyu ur not wrong though call him master ONCE and he'd cum in his pants straight up with clenched fists <333 cue a few spanks for having such a filthy, dirty mouth :(

and. I've read this ask for about 10 times and your fukuichi comment STILL MAKES ME LAUGH EVERY TIME !!!!!!! PLZ I agree with you he is an absolute dilf AND THE ONLY GUY I SEE WHO COULD ACTUALLY PULL OFF A MOUSTACHE but at least 4 me he deserves to be punched with a nail-studded bat for what he did to my aku <33 💅 💅 💅 after you're done with him ofcc I won't get in ur way baby <33

and mori. perhaps once I'm done with fukuichi I'd give you the bat to SMASH MY FUCKING BRAINS IN. I CANT STOP THIS FEELINGS GYU IDK WHYTYYYYY ARGHHHHHHHH THEY MADE HIM LOOK SO FUCKING GOOD IN THE ANIME ?????? FUCK THE PRODUCTION TEAM I WANNA KILL MYSELF NOW 😭😭😭😭😭😭 PLS PLS PLS I WANNA KISS HIM and crack his dick in half so bad pls help me

#🗑. asks #SOBS #yes i did gatekeep this ask tqvm #n im not kidding over giggling every time i read the fukuichi comment skskskssj #like i get it so much i'm so w u babe 😘😘

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pansyfemme · 1 year

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if u don’t mind me asking, for how long you’ve been an artist? like do you draw since u were a kid? cause i see your art (which is incredible btw) and i wonder how long does it take to develop your own art style yk? your art is full of detail and character and i immediately recognize it’s yours

i’m 18 now and i love to draw but don’t have much time to do it, it’s not something i can fully focus on (thanks to capitalism aha) and i’m afraid i’m too old to try and start making my own art and develop my own characteristics/style/process :/

sorry if this ask is too much or too confusing but i truly love seeing ur art on my dash and i thought maybe u can give some advice?

Ok this is gonna be a bit of a length answer, im sorry in advance! but first off- thank you sososo much it really means a lot!! i rlly appricate ur kind words!

but to answer your inital question- i was raised in a very art positive household. My mother's a very skilled landscape watercolorist who studied art in college (though doesnt work as an artist) , and my father is a music/theatre critic, so i grew up going to lots of art shows and gallery opening and art stuff in general, and my parents were always very supportive of any art ive ever done. My brother is an artist too, mostly an oil painter these days, but he started drawing out the womb basically, massivly talented since he was very small. I was super jealous as a kid, but didn't decide i wanted to try being an artist until i was around 10 or so- when it kind of took over for my life for a while. My first few years of art were wildly productive, i was drawing every second of every day. I was going thru a really tough time emotionally and was horribly bullied at school, so it was a big comfort to me at the time. however, at around age 12, where my mental health became incredibly bad, i stopped nearly altogether for a while, never quite getting back to it until a year or so later. It took me a while to get my love for it back, but i did, and it became what it was for me again, i've been keeping a daily drawing practice for nearly four years now, since then. It's really not linear, though.

Finding a good growth pattern is a combonation of things. my art improves much faster when i take time to do the things that feel more like chores or stress my brain out- studies and life drawings and attempting to understand space, but those activities can make me lose motivation. the trick is to balance "work" art with "pleasure" art, to be able to retain the joy in creating while also activly learning new skills. Art can be a really stressful hobby to have, it's very easy to burn out or to get stuck in patterns of creation that dont progress you as much as you hope. Back in the day, i used to fucking hate drawing backgrounds, they made me horribly angry and frustated to draw, so i ignored them. Little did i know, i was setting myself up for a much more frustrating time when i wanted to draw backgrounds later on. I think that's what's difficult about learning a skill, especially when it's one where so much of it is self-taught. It's genuinly hard to understand which areas to start with and where to work more on. I don't personally think theres a certain skill level required for a given idea, getting an idea out 'badly' is better than waiting till you improve and forgetting it. It's just that artists tend to be heavily self critical, and so sometimes when something turns out 'badly' it's hard to resist the urge to just tear it up as soon as possible.

as for age, there is no age limit to this. there is no age that it's better to start- beginner artists come from all different places. It's fantastic you want to try this at all! it's something that brings me so much joy, and i am elated when others want to try it out! I have met artists who have started from so many different points in their lives- there is no corrolation between age and art skill, it's heavily dependant from artist to artist. as for developing an art style, it's something that comes with time spent, and i know that sucks to hear bc it did when i was starting out and thought i'd never find a style, but a style is simply one part of a vast range of creation- you do not have to settle down anytime soon. A consistant style in fact, is not very relevant outside of particular contexts. You see it a lot in illustration, where an artist is often chosen for a job based on a style, but when it comes to other fields of art, versitility and being able to stay away from things looking consistant is a huge skill! it's heavily dependant.

I really wish you luck- i know its hard to start out! it was extremly frustrating for me, but it's something that's brought me a lot of joy over the years- and i hope it does something similar for you.

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shrunkupthejams · 1 year

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hello tumblr, good timezone! a little life update (which was written at 2am? and gets very rambly and long but *shrugs* i tried to break up the walls of text a bit):

1. did i disappear? yes. will i elaborate on that? not really, i don't feel like it. but i will say that once you take a break from social media it is really hard to go back. it's very freeing, and that made me worried about how tumblr would take over the little free time i have if i came back. also hyperfixations are a lot harder to not hyperfixate on when i frequently spend time on here. overall, idk how long i was gone for, but it was a very good, much needed break that was probably great for my brain.

2. idk if i'm back back yet. we shall see. again productivity is doing much better without any tumblr in my system, as much as i do love spending time here.

3. i have read some very inspiring fics lately and am having many writing thoughts! which is great bc i really fell into a slump that i haven't been able to get out of this year like... back in may, or whatever. unfortunately, i have no time between catching up on missing school work from being sick, my job, and fucking moving. so.

4. not very tumblr relevant, but oh my god im fucking moving. again. story of my life basically. it's. fine. just happened really fast and it's weird to process. im officially in moving limbo for the next two weeks. and that sucks. but it's ultimately good for my system, i think, because i was getting restless waiting for the usual regularly scheduled "big change" in my life, and that quota is now being filled and it's relieving.

5. dear lord i don't even want to look in my notifications.. if anyone tagged me in stuff while i was out... im so sorry but it's likely lost in the pile. avoiding my problems on social media is like my specialty, and my notes is currently one of those problems.

6. (if you see me unfollow a bunch of stranger things blogs (hello, i know some of those are mutuals), im sorry but i clogged my dash with st blogs so bad and i cannot afford slipping into that hyperfixation rn. i can't do that to myself. it's not personal or anything. so um. don't mind me haha.. i should really consider the state of my dash before i follow... but alas, i do not. one of the main reasons i typically avoid the hellscape that is instagram! oh and tbh, i knew it was time to come back to this hellsite when i started casually wasting like. an actual amount of time on instagram semi-regularly. that's when yk it's time to go like fuck i do not want to be in a place where i am wasting time on instagram of all places. wasting time on tumblr is at least tasteful. sorry artists of instagram ily but i simply cannot.)

7. ahaha watch me avoid my sideblogs after this (not that's incredibly relevant). i can only involve myself in social media so much rn...

8. more irl news: after, at least of 2022 and then some of saying i need therapy, i'm finally getting therapy! first appointment booked for this wednesday babey :) thank GOD. definitely needed this after discovering that apparently you can have grandfather issues, as if my current parental issues weren't enough.

9. another irrelevant irl update: i got my license! fucking finally! idk if i ever complained about that on here but YEAH. it feels like so much has changed since i was last active on tumblr..

10. as a final bit of news, since this got fucking long im so sorry, im trying out the name kurtis now. seeing how that fits :)

and um yeah that's how my life is going rn. ill try not to go off in the tags about anything, considering the length of this post. sure makes that relatively new dashboard post shortening feature come in handy tho! haha..

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theghostofwilburtheworm · 1 year

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Alright i puss in boots, i have a whole lot of feelings about it, so buckle up! This is gonna be long, YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!!

So im a very grand dreamworks fan, they where one of my main inspiration on why i want to become an animator, through my whole life, on 2020 i got incredibly hyperfixated on dreamworks as a studio (their history, production of their movies yadayada) that hyperfixation has followed me to beginnings of 2022 so im very god damn attached to this studio (cuz autism) so man i got so emotional when i saw the new intro i started tearing up aaaa, okay now onto the movie.

After the universal buy of dreamworks i was very fucking worried about the future of the animation studio, so much so that i really just accepted httyd 3 as their last movie, they went out with a bang i sated to myself, and i wasn't much more re-comforted when their first movie after the buy was abominable, is a nice movie yes! But it has that illumination-e feeling of being just a safe product (regarding its story, thr animation is fucking gorgeous) and then it came trolls world tour (sure was okay) the boss baby sequel, the croods 2 (i actually really liked this one it was very funny and creative!) Spirit untamed (what a sick joke! I mean the animation is pretty and all but ive always hated the spirit series bc of shiting all over the og movie, sorry im salty abt this one) But then! The bad guys came out!! And it was such a fun and creative and beautiful movie!! Having such an awesome art, so dynamic and cool the mix of 2d and 3d it was just so cool! and such a fun story and it was just soo good!!! And it gave me so much hope for the future of the studio!! Specially after seeing the trailer for the puss in boots movie!! Seeing that dreamworks is also taking this more experimental approach to animation made me sososo happy!! And yk i was going to watch puss in boots only for the animation before, i didnt really tough it would have much of a deep story i was contempt with just watching a silly goofy movie with beautiful animation!

And don't get me wrong the first puss in boots haves very good story and the emotional moments landed pretty well!! I just didn't think dreamworks would do that kind of stuff anymore (due to what they've been putting out lately being mainly funny silly movies [wich theres nothing wrong with!!]) BUT HOLY CHEESE N RISE!! Through this movie, if i wasn't tearing up about how cool and beautiful the animation and the fight scenes where, i was tearing up about gato's conflict with his fear of death and his relationship with kitty and fucking seeing gato's past life with shrek and donky and man im so emotional about this

And also the music it was soo good i absolutely adored the motif for the death and the little "dreamworks motif"™ at the end it was so beautiful

And the character design!!!! Omg it was soo good, DEATH HOLLY MOLLY DEATH he looked sooo goood it was so fucking scary and cool!!! And his weapon!!!!! And then theres the little dog he was soo cute, and the other guy that i forgot his name!! And goldi and the three bears!!!!

Speaking of which i also really fucking loved goldi and the three bears' acr and their interactions where absolutely delightful and nice!! And i really loved their ending

And perrito's and kitty's story, and the final confrontation of gato and death!!! And aaaa it was all so beautiful and awesome and cool and dazzling, and then the ending of perrito, kitty, and gato going to far far away, and the scene at the beginning of the first fight of gato and death!!! It was soooo sooo cool, the colors and the lightning IN GENERAL ALLL OF THE FIGHT SCENES WHERE SO AWESOME!!!

And man the little scene of gato remembering his mom giving him the boots, i was so nice guck i cant believe how attached im to these freacking characters

And like dude the colors where so vibrant and aaa this movie was just so beautiful!!! Im so happy and sad and im just a mess of emotions due to this movie it makes me so happy for the future of dreamworks animation, and mainstream animation in general, because and i cannot stress enough, animation is not a genera for kids, is an art form, just as versatile and beautiful as any other.

Anyways this movie was pretty epic probably my favorite from this decade with gillermo del toro's pinocchio and i for once, can't wait what the future will get us :]

#welp that was a whole lot of word vomit so sorry gamers autism won today aaa #this was just such a good movie :']#puss in boots the last wish spoilers #puss in boots the last wish #gh0ost txt

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magnus-the-maqnificent · 2 years

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hello laks how are you doing babe :")

so i kinda wanted to rant because my uni entrance exam is in 2 month and like i really wanna study good, yk?

like it's not really about which uni i'll be accepted to or in which subject it's just that i could never study like i did before the pandemic and i just really wanna get there again, not to get good results just to feel better about myself :")

and i'm kinda sooo extrovert like i literally went into a depression phase when i had to stay home all the times, and here schools just reopened this year but for us who are at the last year of high school they didn't put any classes so we can "study better at home" :| in short, no school for us this year too :(

so there's this kinda study saloon (?) in our city where students go and study and i talked to my mom and persuaded her i wanna go there because i really think i can study better when i see others are studying too? i've kinda lost motivation at home :(

and she said yes but them my aunt who used to be a school counselor told her that it's the worst idea ever and i shouldn't "change my environment" when i'm this near to exam and said "for once do what i'm telling you" and i'm like 😭😭 i know she has more experience but i really think it would help me 😭 i can barely study at home anymore and i wanna start taking daily exams to improve my skill but first i have to finish the lessons but i can't do that in home and they just don't get it 😭

idk what to do 😭😭😭

Heyyyy

I wanna yeet myself out of a window :') but hopefully I'll be better by tomorrow morning lol

Yee I totally understand :') the pandemic made it so hard to study and even if I want to go back to how I studied before, I just... can't??? It's so fucking frustrating.

Okay now, onto the question - I think you should try the study saloon out. Like, yeah your aunt has more experience, but does she know YOUR experience??

Like, I get where she's coming from, but you're struggling with studying in your home environment. It's like, your brain is probably tuned to your home being a resting place and won't be willing to study and be productive. A new environment would help you much better, imo. Especially if it's an environment designed to study, like a library or your study saloon.

ALSO, I recommend you start taking daily exams regardless of whether you've finished your portion or not. Like, you know atleast a bit of all your lessons anyway, and taking the exams will let you know which lessons you need to focus on more. Ik taking the exams without completing a first revision of your syllabus doesn't make much sense, but it worked wonders for me and it might do the same for you <3

Good luck with your exams!! And just remember - you know better than anything else exactly what it is you need to study well.

#blues and then purple pink asks

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wheel-of-hyperfixation · 2 months

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Every couple of months this concept for a fic (a whole damn series tbh) pops back into my mind

I really want to make myself write it. Reasons I should give it a shot (this list is kind of just for me, lemme convince myself)

I used to start writing stories as a kid (many a few pages that I started but never continued) and even though I never finished them, it made me so happy. I think I'd like to explore the storyteller in me from a new place; not as a dancer.

All the writing that I end up doing now is for school. I'm typically not one to boast but I will say that my written responses and essays are reallll fucking good. And even with fighting my own brain trying to write for those assignments (anxiety, depression, adhd yall do NOT make it easy) I still Love writing those essays. I have Fun writing those essays

I say I don't have free time but I do manage to find time to rest. Usually though resting just ends up being laying in bed all day watching some show on my laptop. And then I feel shitty (physically and mentally) that I haven't done something more productive. Not productive like "you should've deep cleaned the entire apartment on your first day off in three in a half weeks" but like "hey girl could you just maybe do something that involves some healthy brain stimulation? pls??" I think this would be a good outlet yk healthy for my brain and my body

I'd really like to be able to share something of mine with the folks here I admire

Going off of #4, I have such a hard time sharing my art online but sadly my career path kind of depends on my ability to do that. I have yet to a really clean, simple answer of how to overcome that--at least they haven't been routes I've felt I could make myself do (I'm very stubborn). This however might be a good way for me to practice and build this skill, in a place where my career, My Dream isn't at stake.

_______________________________________

so the plot..

Eddie Munson x (lemme be self-indulgent and also add to our minimal representation on here) BlackFem!Reader

Will the upside down be a thing that happened? I'm guessing no. But if it is then ofc this man survives -as he should as he should-

Eddie has finally graduated ('86 baby <3). He has another 6 months-a year afterwards working every moment he can and saving every penny. He finally leaves Hawkins (would need to write some sad shit with leaving Wayne ofc but yk maybe in a later chapter as a little flashback) for [SOME BIG CITY - i have some choices but it depends on details about Reader i haven't given thought to yet]. He's trying to get into the music scene-- make friends, find some footing, get a consistent gig somewhere if he can. There's a rock night at a local bar he sees a flyer for and there he meets this percussionist who's drumming with a band playing that night. BAM! They're instant friends. IMPORTANT: i headcanon that Eddie also managed to learn to play drums sometime in late middle school/early high school, he doesn't have formal training but can work his way around a drum set. Plot things plot things plot things -> New best friend percussionist has a job with this proffesional dance company as an accompanist; they play for classes and rehearsals and has recently been in talks with the director about their upcoming season because of a new work one of the choreographers will be building. It'll be a lot of workshopping but just conceptually it seems great. The other two accompanists who usually work with the company don't drum though and the choreographer really wants a musical focus on percussion. BestFriend calls Eddie while he's still at the studio speaking with the director and choreographer :)

WELCOME READER!! I'm not sure who exactly she'll be yet but currently mulling over some possibilities: a friend of this choreographer from a previous job who they've asked to help with the choreography? a brand new company member? someone who's danced a couple seasons with the company (corps dancer) and is getting her first larger role? Lots of possibilties but the point is that she's part of the new work too.

And they meet when Eddie comes for his first day-- it's company class in the morning and rehearsal begins later after their lunch break (again it's lots of workshopping, collaborative space, freestyle amongst the dancers as they just get to play around with the music). Eddie is a little entranced by Reader the whole time, and Reader tries to not get flustered and distracted in the middle of learning these movement phrases when she catches him watching her specifically.

Pretty, lovely, dream-like things ensue for them <3

_________________________

That "quick rough summary" turned into a word-vomit brainstorm with a lot more detail than I anticipated. Cool.

#wheel-of-hyperfixation diary

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mellow-worlds · 11 months

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I felt so happy today! I still do. It's kinda weird since for a good part, I felt an indescriptible amount of pain and then I felt pretty god shortly after. But I think my situation could definitely be improved upon since I haven't left the house for the entire day and am likely to go to sleep right after I finish this post. Either way, I'm glad not to experience yesterday's pain anymore. I guess being more productive would be nice but yk, it's fine for now. Taking things slowly. Or maybe I|m just being lazy. I just hope that tomorrow I'll feel good as well. It does make me feel kinda uneasy that I'll barely have a spare minute tomorrow. It's fine, though. Just because I have two things planned, those being piano lessons and a sleepover. I'll also have to go shopping. Yay, unhealthy food because I'm too lazy to cook! :(

It's fine, I'll be ok. Tomorrow I'll wake up early, shower, go to the piano lessons, finish that one thing I should actually take care of right now, and then happily go to the sleepover. Hopefully. I can't guarantee anything. I'm kinda afraid of making promises because I don't want to disappoint anyone. I don't want to feel worse about myself than I already do. It's not failure if I don't name it that, right? Well I guess we'll see what happens.

Wow, thinking and writing about this made me anxious again. Hmm... Maybe getting lost in your own head isn't good for you? But then again, I don't really have anything to prove that I felt pretty good today. I mostly played video games while watching stream VODs. Idk... Ok I definitely should stop thinking about this because it's making me anxious. I'm fine. It's all going to be fine. I'll go brush my teeth, maybe work on that thing, go to sleep and then do what I described earlier. HHhhhh... tasks... Welp. I guess I'm happy I feel better than during that little time span yesterday. It was good I'd left the house yesterday. All thanks to *them*. Alr enough ranting.

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notxaxnun · 2 years

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I'm not here to preach or tell my life's story to the world. I'm just here, thinking. And I needed a way to get it out so here goes:

4 years ago I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. That never really sat right with me, except maybe in the beginning until I started therapy for it. Things had gotten HELLA worse. For real, I was acting out all the time and I just couldn't stop crying.

I had a boyfriend at the time, one with whom I would later on move in with. Anyways, a lot of the times there started to form some moments where I felt at peace and genuinely okay for longer periods of time. But even then something was always off. Was it not about my life it was about my mental state. And then everything started to deteriorate all at once.

Ever since the literal unraveling of my life and basically becoming homeless, after finally finding peace and well even a home. For someone who has never known a real home with real love, that meant something. So I shattered. Over and over again.

Now I'm left here, with all my pieces. Trying to put them together enough to even be a functioning human being. I'm so damn tired of being tired. All my life I've had to fight and goddamn I was so willing to fight and I felt all this fire inside me. But that all burnt out.

So the question remains: how does one get that fire back? I nearly lost my mind trying to figure it out. I spent all my time thinking and now it seems like I can't stop. I want out man. Out of this mind where all these thoughts keep going on and on about a million things.

And then I lost myself entire in all that was bad. Again. This time for real. Up until the point where I admitted to myself that I am in fact an addict. And not only to drugs, but like the thrill of living on the edge not giving a fuck. The thrill of anxiety? Maybe.

I gotta remind myself that healing isn't linear. You don't stand there at point A with one straight ahead road to point B. Working through complex trauma and serious mental illness just isn't unfortunately as simple as that.

It is indeed a hard to swallow pill. But once you've done that you can move onto the phase that , to me , is the scariest but also the most fun one: take action.

DO THINGS. THINGS YOU ENJOY. If you feel stuck and find yourself, like me, doing literally nothing but wasting away, do something FUN. And I mean really fun, like every day. Until you feel like you're ready to take on something that's like way less fun but is necessary.

I find it easier to accept and do the things I don't like to do at all but have to be done when I've accomplished a state of mental peace (or anger , yk that just keeps me going until i can't stop, my house be CLEAN when I get angry). To begin with. Once I've found peace and cleared my mind, then I can start planning on doing said tasks.

Unfortunately it sounds way more simple then it is. Because well, I myself tend to lose focus like all the time. So I like have to remind myself to slow the fuck down like maybe a hundred times a day. But that's okay BECAUSE HERE IT COMES GUYS THE SECRET IS OUT:

I noticed something was up

I didn't know what it was so I LITERALLY slowed down, took a deep breath until I felt like my mind was clearing

I examined my physical state in my mind ie am I hungry?

I examined my mental state

AND TOOK ACTION ACCORDINGLY

Moral of today's long ass story: slow down, take time to fix your physical and mental self before acting and making decisions. It's okay to take your time with things. But just like be strict enough with yourself to not keep postponing them until they become an issue.

That's what I find myself doing now: procratisnating. But lately I've gone about that in a productive way, circling back to what I was saying earlier about like doing fun things until the not-so-fun things don't seem so bad anymore.

Because like it's easy to lose sight of the good if the bad is overflowing and a lot of it is literally in your hands, which is scary. BUT if you have enough fun, sounds silly but it's true, all the other things just don't seem so big and bad anymore.

And then like be strict with yourself even though that's no fun, you gotta respect like your OWN boundaries as well. It'll be less easier to hate yourself once you take care of yourself and respect yourself.

That all starts with (and we all hate hearing it): CLEANING BITCH. But hey like if you put on some music and just start singing along with it, it's not half that bad yk.

That being said, I should take up my own advice and then experience the peace that comes next by yk CLEANING. But like take it slow guys, don't overstress or push yourselves to do anything you really can't but also be honest if you could like do it as to why you're not doing it and then go from there.

Or that's what I learned and struggle with at least! I hope these insights help someone, anyone out there x

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