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sanderssidesfanfiction · 4 years

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Road To Recovery

A/N: Hey hey, here it is! Another year has come and gone, and @ts-storytime says it’s my posting date! Hope you all enjoy!

Warnings: Religious extremism/religious imagery, conservative political views, exorcisms, arguing, PTSD/trauma, homophobia, blood/violence, major character death, ableism, unsympathetic Patton, potential unsympathetic Roman (with redemption), sympathetic Deceit, sympathetic Remus, child abuse

Ethan sat at the table quietly. Eerily still. Observing the puzzle on it but not daring to touch the pieces. No one had told him it was okay, so he wasn’t going to touch it. He didn’t want to get in trouble ever again. Last time he got in trouble...well. There was a reason he never planned on being honest to anyone besides maybe his brothers ever again. And that was a strong maybe.

His hands jerked suddenly and his eyes squeezed shut tightly as his mind involuntarily went back to that day. The screams, the crying, the red hot blood and the ice cold fury. The—

Ethan shook his head, forced those thoughts out of his mind. No. Those were bad thoughts. God didn’t like bad thoughts, God punished bad thoughts, and he didn’t want to end up in Hell. He didn’t want to be...be with him ever again.

Above him, Remus and Roman were arguing with each other again and tears sprang to Ethan’s eyes. Sure, the twins had argued before, but never this much, never this vehemently, never with this much cruelty in their words. A lot had changed on That Day.

He stood suddenly, causing the boys to stop their arguing. Ethan made eye contact with the therapist who had been writing things down and asked, “May I please go to the bathroom?”

“Yeah, it’s just down the hall,” the therapist said, pointing with his pencil to the door.

Ethan murmured a quiet, “Thank you,” and left the room as fast as he could without running. Once no one could see him, he ran all the way to the bathroom and puked into the toilet. He started reciting his prayers as he shuddered on the tile, forcing the bad thoughts out of his mind the best he could. “Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name...”

He muttered his prayers three times, one for each of the Trinity, before he stood and flushed, washing his hands and unlocking the bathroom door to find the therapist on the other side. “Oh, sorry, was I gone long?” Ethan asked, each word stabbing him like knives in the throat.

“No, Ethan, you weren’t, but I thought I heard retching,” the therapist said. “Are you feeling well?”

“Fine,” Ethan lied.

The therapist’s face formed a worried frown but Ethan kept that fake smile on his face. “Ethan, I know you’re lying. I just need to know if it’s a stomach bug or something else that made you sick, because I don’t want any of the sick kids to get what you have.”

“I’m fine, Doctor Picani,” Ethan said. “Just a bad memory. It’s gone now.”

Doctor Picani sighed. “And I don’t suppose you’d be willing to tell me what that bad memory was?”

“No, sir. It’s the Devil’s thoughts. And I don’t want to give the Devil any more power than he already has,” Ethan said simply.

Doctor Picani sighed again. “All right. Well, your brothers are with your foster dads, about ready to go home. You ought to join them.”

Ethan nodded and walked out of the office, forcing himself to keep that smile on his face even as his facial muscles grew strained. He had kept his coat on, so he didn’t have to worry about fumbling with it as they left the office. He followed Logan and Virgil out, just a step in front of Roman and Remus, who were resolutely not talking to each other. Virgil and Logan tried to lift the mood by talking about what they might do that night, but Ethan just nodded, politely adding a, “That’s nice,” or “Sounds fun,” where appropriate. Roman just stared at the ground, and Remus’ arms were shaking as he kept them crossed, fingers digging into the fabric of his jacket.

As they got into the car and drove to Virgil and Logan’s house, Ethan watched out the window. He tried not to visibly wiggle. After all, Dad said that all it would ever do was make others laugh at him, and he didn’t want to be laughed at. But he couldn’t deny how nice it was to zone out and watch the scenery fly by. No bad thoughts in his head. No listening to the incessant arguing around him. Just him and the zooming colors as they went down the road.

When they got home, before the boys could head to their rooms, Logan cleared his throat. “Boys, I think we need to have a family meeting, if that’s all right? Can we meet in the living room in five minutes?”

Ethan’s blood turned to ice, but he nodded and his brothers did the same. Ethan went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water, before walking into the living room and sitting in the bean bag chair that had been designated “his” by Roman. After all, Roman was the good child, and what he said, went. The chair was comfortable enough, so Ethan never complained.

Roman came in and sat on one end of the couch, while Remus sat on the other. Virgil sat down on the brick in front of the fireplace, and Logan leaned against the wall. “Boys, you’ve been going to therapy for a month now, and the Doctor says you’ve been hardly making any progress. Do you not like Doctor Picani?”

“Doctor Picani’s fine,” Roman said. “But Remus is always lying about what Dad did to him and Ethan, and I have to tell him that he’s wrong, but he never admits it!”

Remus turned red in half an instant. “Dad never let you see what he did to me and Ethan! You can’t say it never happened when you were never there!” Remus spat back.

Ethan watched the argument silently. It was the same argument they always had at Doctor Picani’s. Remus would try to open up, just a little. Talk about how Dad was always going on about fire and brimstone, or saying that demons had possessed Ethan and Remus, or how Ethan and Remus were defective. And since Roman was never there to see it, he claimed it had never happened, and that Remus was just trying to get Dad in trouble. But did that even matter? After all, none of them were ever going to see Dad again. Remus had already made sure of that.

Logan and Virgil let the boys argue for a minute before Logan cleared his throat. “Enough,” he said. “Roman, Remus is right. You weren’t there when your father did what he did to Remus and Ethan. They deserve a chance to speak without fear of being told they’re wrong, or that what they went through wasn’t that bad.”

“But he’s lying!” Roman insisted. “Dad would never do those things, not without a good reason!”

“He thought we were possessed! That was reason enough for him!” Remus spat. “You don’t know how many ‘exorcisms’ he performed on me and Ethan! How many times he smacked us with that damned crucifix when we did something he didn’t want! You were the ‘good’ child, you never got to see his bad side! You never saw what he did!” Remus started to cry. “You never heard my screams! How I begged for help, to be let go, that I couldn’t help the bad thoughts in my head!”

Ethan swallowed and closed his eyes to focus on his breathing. He was getting bad memories, but he had to keep them out. Only if he kept them out would he be able to go to Heaven, and he so desperately wanted to go. Because then he would never have to see Dad again.

“You never heard me calling your name! Begging for you to come downstairs! You never saw Ethan silently crying because Dad did that to him, too!” Remus exclaimed.

Breathe in. Breathe out. It was okay. He was okay. He wasn’t going to be hurt. No one here was going to hurt him.

“Is this true, Ethan?!” Roman spat. “Is Remus telling the truth?!”

“Hey, Roman, don’t yell at Ethan, please,” Logan said softly.

Ethan blinked. “Dad did exorcisms all the time,” he said. “He said that the demons had taken deep root and that we needed to be healed if we ever wanted a chance at going to Heaven. He said it was out of a place of love.”

“Ha! Out of a place of love, see?!” Roman exclaimed.

“But. That’s not what it was,” Ethan continued softly.

Roman’s ire turned towards Ethan, but he kept talking. “He hit us. He burned incense that hurt my head and made me cry. Once he nearly set the house on fire and he burned Remus. He burned me.”

“Well then you must have done something to deserve it! Because the Dad I know would never do something like that without very good reason!” Roman declared.

Ethan’s chest seized up. His breath stopped, dying in his throat, along with all his words. Logan and Virgil were both talking to Roman, Virgil with an angry scowl and Logan with a disapproving look, but Roman was steadfast in his opinion. And why wouldn’t he be? He was right. Ethan and Remus had deserved everything they had gone through, hadn’t they? They were the ones who had let the demons inside. Ethan still struggled to talk and to look people in the eyes. He still fumbled with basic things that Remus and Roman could do when they were barely four, and Ethan was almost six. He still had those demons inside him, no matter what he tried.

Remus tapped Ethan’s shoulder and said, “Hey, Roman’s wrong, Ethan. Doctor Picani said so. We didn’t deserve what Dad put us through.”

But Doctor Picani wasn’t a pastor. Dad was a pastor, and he knew best when it came to the soul. Clearly, Dad must have known something that Doctor Picani didn’t. Ethan’s eyes welled up with tears and he vehemently shook his head.

“We didn’t,” Remus insisted softly. “You know that, I know you do. I know it’s hard, but you didn’t deserve it, and neither did I. You don’t have to force yourself to talk. You don’t have to force yourself to sit still. You don’t have to hold back tears and frustration and emotions that you feel strongly about. We’re never going back to Dad, Ethan, you’re safe to be yourself.”

Ethan just shook his head, but even as Logan and Roman continued to argue, Virgil was watching Remus and Ethan closely. “Remus, what do you mean by that?” Virgil asked.

The room went quiet. Roman was silently fuming and Logan had turned his attention to Remus, while Virgil was looking Ethan over.

“Ethan is different,” Remus said. “I don’t know what the actual word for it is, but Roman always called him a moron because that’s what Dad called him. But Ethan wouldn’t talk at Dad’s. He would use sign language. And Dad never understood it, so he never got anything like food or water unless he could get it himself or Dad wasn’t around so I could get it for him. And he’d like...rock sometimes when he’d sit. Like, it wasn’t when he was upset, not usually. Usually he was just bored so he’d swing his feet and rock from side to side with a little smile if Dad wasn’t around. And he’d emote a lot more. Like, if he was upset he’d cry, if he was happy he would smile. And now he just...doesn’t do any of that. He forces himself to talk, and to sit still, and to not show any emotion. He wants to be good. He wants you two to like him. So he’s forcing himself to be someone he’s not. But it’s hurting him. You’ve seen how tired he is all the time. You’ve seen how he has to force the words out of his throat when that exhaustion gets to be too much. That’s what happens when he forces himself to act ‘normal.’ But it hurts him.”

By this time Virgil and Logan were both looking Ethan over. Ethan tried to meet their gaze, tried to force that polite smile on his face, but he knew he was close to crying. To breaking down. To being forced into his room, because he was a bad child, and they were going to send him somewhere else. They just needed him exhausted and quiet first.

“Ethan, we’ve told you from day one that you don’t have to pretend to be anything you’re not in this house, right?” Virgil asked.

“Yes, sir,” Ethan replied.

Logan, to Ethan’s surprise, signed his response. “Then why do you pretend?”

Ethan swallowed. Forced that smile to stay. “I...I don’t know what you mean, sir. I’m just trying to listen to what Dad wanted from me. I’m just trying to be a good kid.”

“You’re a good kid when you’re yourself, Ethan,” Remus said. “Dad was wrong. You’re not bad when you’re acting like yourself.”

Ethan could feel the tears building, but he still forced himself to smile. “I’m proving I’m not a moron,” Ethan said. “I’m just trying to be good.”

It was Roman’s words that broke the dam. “No matter what, you’ll always be a moron, Ethan. You’ll always be the defective kid that Dad hated.”

Ethan’s carefully placed ruse shattered. His smile vanished and he brought his hands to his chest in what Remus had called the “raptor pose” and he made a high whine in the back of his throat. The tears started falling, and Ethan wailed. “Roman!” Logan snapped. “That’s not okay!”

“It’s true!” Roman snapped back.

“Go to your room, Roman. Now,” Virgil said, leaving no room for argument.

Roman stormed out of the room in a huff and slammed the door to his room upstairs. Ethan continued to wail. He was trying to be good, couldn’t Roman see that? He was trying! He wanted to go to Heaven, not Hell! He didn’t want to see Dad ever, ever again and he knew that Dad was going to Hell. He was doing his absolute best to follow the rules, so God could be happy with him, and he could maybe, just maybe, be redeemed.

Ethan threw his hands around, angrily flapping them as hard as he could. Stupid Roman! Roman was going to make sure that Ethan went to Hell, and Ethan was going to be heartbroken for eternity because of it. He continued to cry. To his mild surprise, no one was telling him to shut up, no one was doing anything. Virgil had given Remus something to work on so that other than the occasional glance, Remus left Ethan alone. Virgil had left the room. Logan just sat down next to Ethan, patiently waiting until Ethan ran out of tears, before he spoke. “Ethan, you’re not a moron,” Logan said. “And you’re most certainly not defective.”

Ethan took a deep breath, tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t come, no matter how much he tried to force them. With great reluctance, he started to sign. “How do you know?” he asked.

“Because you’re, from what I’ve seen, quite clearly autistic,” Logan said. “And I’m autistic too. Would you call me defective?”

Ethan vehemently shook his head. Logan looked like he had everything together.

“Then neither are you. Being autistic doesn’t mean you’re defective. It means your brain is wired a little bit differently. But that’s not a bad thing.”

“Does that mean...I’m not going to Hell if I don’t talk?” Ethan asked.

Logan nodded. “I firmly believe that if there is a god, They would not send someone to Hell for something They designed that person to be.”

Ethan cried again, but this time, it was tears of relief. “I don’t want to talk,” Ethan signed. “It hurts me. I prefer to sign.”

“That’s fine,” Logan said. “One of the reasons we picked Doctor Picani was because he knows sign language. He can talk to you in your preferred language, if you want, and you don’t have to worry about anyone here forcing you to talk. If Roman tries, we will tell him why that is very much not okay, and you’ll be free to communicate however you prefer.”

“Thank you,” Ethan signed, the last of his tears falling.

“Of course,” Logan said. “It’s only fair that we let you communicate how you think is best. It’s not fair to force you to talk if it hurts you.”

Ethan stared at the floor as Virgil walked into the room, taking deep breaths. “Roman isn’t listening to me,” he said. “I think you need to talk to him, Logan. He’ll probably listen to you better, if only because you’re also autistic and Roman can see that way he’s clearly in the wrong.”

“All right. You can work with the boys on the biggest hurdle of their trauma, I know you wanted to go over it with them anyway,” Logan said, standing up. He kissed Virgil on the cheek. “If it gets to be overwhelming, come get me.”

“Of course,” Virgil said.

Ethan risked a glance at Virgil and was surprised to find him looking close to tears. “Do you boys know why we specifically took you in? Obviously, we’re foster parents, but do you know why we chose you?”

Remus shook his head, and Ethan shrugged.

Virgil took a deep breath. “The answer is because I used to be a part of your dad’s church. I used to attend with my parents, until I was old enough to move out on my own, and I never looked back. I knew Patton when he was just starting out as a pastor. I didn’t like his teachings. Matter of fact, I hated them. I hated them more than the other pastors. And they weren’t quiet about their homophobia, and ableism, and general prejudice, but Patton was painfully vocal about his views, to the point where even some of the conservative members were uncomfortable. I saw you three, and saw what happened, and I knew that you three would need a gentle touch. That no one had given you a gentle touch and it was high time someone did. So I talked with Logan, and we agreed to take you three in.

“Your dad was wrong, boys, in so many ways. Roman doesn’t understand because he hasn’t had to deal with the prejudice except for one time. But you boys dealt with it every day, didn’t you?” At twin nods from Ethan and Remus, Virgil continued, “That’s why Logan and I are here. We want to teach you that love is out there, and it should be freely given, not earned. We want you to feel comfortable to be yourself, so long as yourself isn’t hurting anyone. And yes, that includes Roman. He’ll take more time to come around, but I don’t doubt he will. It will take time, and therapy, but we’ll be here every step of the way for you boys. Understand?”

Ethan and Remus nodded again. Virgil smiled, but he looked tired. “Good. Now, do either of you want to help me with dinner?”

Remus shrugged. “I’d rather read,” he admitted softly.

“Okay, you can read,” Virgil said. “Ethan?”

“I’d like to help,” Ethan signed.

“Sounds perfect, come with me,” Virgil said.

Ethan followed him to the kitchen, and Virgil brought out the stepping stool that Ethan used to actually reach the counter. Ethan, without putting much thought into it, started signing to Virgil. “I like getting to help,” he explained. “Even if I have problems with the little movements, I like getting to measure and pour stuff.”

“I’m glad,” Virgil said. “But you should know that if you ever don’t want to help? That’s okay too. You’re free to do what you want in this house, so long as it doesn’t hurt yourself or others.”

Ethan started signing, before stopping. Virgil looked at him expectantly. “Something on your mind?” Virgil asked.

“Could I...” Ethan paused. “I want to grow my hair out. Not, like, as long as some of the girls at school, because their hair can be really long, but long enough that I can run my fingers through it and feel actual hair, not the spiky stuff the buzzcut I have feels like.”

“Okay,” Virgil said with a nod. “We can grow your hair out, that’s fine.”

Ethan was surprised. He grinned. “You really mean that?”

“I really mean that,” Virgil agreed.

Without thinking much about it, Ethan admitted, “The only reason I had my hair short before was because Dad always shaved it...”

~~~

Ethan shook his head as he stared at Dad in the bathroom, razor in hand.

“This isn’t up for debate, Ethan, we need to shave your hair. You’re going to get lice if you don’t keep it short, because you never wash your hair right. It’s time to shave it again,” Dad explained.

“I don’t want to,” Ethan signed, backing away.

Dad put the razor down and forcibly grabbed Ethan’s arm, dragging him into the bathroom. “Use your words, Ethan. If you need to wait five minutes then you need to say so. But no matter what, we’re shaving your head.”

Ethan didn’t whine, but he thrashed around, making it very clear to Dad that he didn’t want to do any of this. Dad growled and warned, “Demon, do you want to go through another round of exorcisms?”

That got Ethan to still. Dad grinned maliciously and got to work shaving Ethan’s head back down to the buzzcut that Ethan hated. When Dad was done, he unplugged the electric razor and locked it away in the medicine cabinet again. “I need to make dinner,” he said to no one in particular, leaving the room.

When Ethan was sure he was gone, he let out a little whimper, and poked at the hair that was sitting in the sink that hadn’t been washed down the drain. He felt at his head and winced. It was too spiky, and he knew he’d have a hard time sleeping tonight with his hair too short to flatten against the pillow.

Not for the first time, Ethan wished that he could be out of this house, away from this place. He knew it was wrong, but he hated the way he was treated here. He wanted to go someplace that he would be respected.

~~~

Remus bounded into the house excitedly, immediately running up to Ethan, who was working on summer homework for school. “Ethan!” Remus exclaimed. “Ethan, Ethan, guess what!”

Ethan arched an eyebrow as he looked at Remus.

“I was at the library looking at books with Logan, and there was this one! With a guy as an author! But in his picture, his hair was long! Like, long enough to put in a ponytail! Can you believe that?!” Remus asked. “I want my hair like that! And Logan said I could grow it out!”

Ethan blinked in shock. He hadn’t realized that guys might be able to have long hair. The closest he had ever seen was Virgil, and he had his hair just a little bit lower than his ears. He had never, ever seen a man with long hair, not for as long as he could remember. “Really?!” Ethan asked. “And you want your hair like that?”

“Yeah!” Remus exclaimed. “It’s gonna be so, so, so cool! And Logan said it was okay! And he won’t take us to the barber’s if we don’t wanna go! He said that’s true even if I weren’t growing out my hair, too! We don’t have to go anywhere we don’t want to! For any reason!”

“Anywhere?” Ethan asked skeptically. “Even school?”

Remus turned thoughtful. “I don’t know,” he eventually admitted. “That you might have to ask Logan and Virgil about. But if you don’t want to go to school, they can probably figure something out.”

“I like learning, I just don’t like school,” Ethan signed, wrinkling his nose. “You know what they used to call me in class.”

“Yeah, I do,” Remus said, smile dimming some. “Do you want to tell Logan and Virgil about that and see what they say?”

Ethan shrugged. Sure, it would be nice if he didn’t have to go to school in the fall, where it was loud, and bright, and unbearable. But what alternative did he have? They would probably just call him silly and have him go to school anyway, with extra work for punishment.

“Do you want to use me as the guinea pig? Say that I’m the one who doesn’t want to go to school?” Remus asked.

Ethan paled. “Remus!” he signed sharply. “I don’t want you getting in trouble for me. If I don’t want to go, that’s my problem, not yours.”

“Yeah, but if Logan and Virgil are gonna punish anyone, it shouldn’t be you,” Remus said, sitting in a chair next to Ethan. “You have every reason to hate school. They treat you weird at best and mean at worst. And I know you hate the lights and all the kids who shout just to watch you flinch. I know why you wouldn’t want to go back there when summer ends. We can ask them about school in general, if you think that would be better? Not saying anyone doesn’t want to go?”

“Or we could just find a homeschooling program you like,” Logan said from the entrance to the room.

Ethan and Remus’ heads snapped over to him, Remus in shock and Ethan in fear. “I’m sorry!” Ethan quickly signed.

“Why? You’re being honest,” Logan said. “I appreciate that you’re being honest. What about school specifically don’t you like? The lights, the kids, anything else?”

“The sounds are overwhelming,” Ethan signed hesitantly. “Because everything echoes. And when I look around, there’s so many bright colors. I know that’s just for the littler kids, but it still hurts my eyes. And I understand a lot of what the teacher says with a little time. But she goes over the same things every day for weeks and it’s boring.”

Logan nodded. “Okay, Virgil and I can work with that. We can look for homeschooling or tutoring programs to ensure you continue your studies in an environment that works for you.”

Ethan thought that he might cry when he heard that. “You would do that...for me?” he asked.

“Of course,” Logan said. “We want all of you boys to be comfortable. And if that means Remus grows his hair out, and you don’t go to public school, well, we signed up to raise you boys right, not to make you factory cut-outs. It’s all part of the job.”

Ethan covered his mouth with his hands, but he couldn’t hide the tears shining in his eyes. “Thank you,” he signed after taking a deep, steadying breath. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“Of course, Ethan,” Logan said with a small smile. “We want to make sure that you’re comfortable. I’ll talk with Virgil and we can do research into homeschooling programs. We’ll make sure they’re not religious, too, so you don’t have to worry about accidentally being triggered. I know that organized religion makes you uncomfortable.”

Ethan was vaguely surprised that Logan had remembered that. He, Remus, and Roman had all been taken to church at first, in an attempt to have them feel normal. But Ethan had dissolved into panic attacks, and Remus had started sobbing the second the pastor came over after the service to greet them, and Roman was the only one who didn’t betray a single thought in his head after the service. And while Logan and Virgil knew the pastor personally, they made sure that he never said anything super religious in the house when he came over. Ethan hadn’t realized it might be for his and Remus’ comfort.

Remus looked shocked as well. “You remembered?” he asked.

“It was hard to forget,” Logan said wryly. “But all jokes aside, it’s something that hurts you. Of course I’m going to remember to avoid it.”

Ethan shakily smiled and Remus grinned after a second of hesitation. “I like you a lot, Logan,” he decided. “You and Virgil are cool.”

“I’ll let Virgil know, I’m sure he’ll appreciate it,” Logan said with a small, but genuine, smile on his face. “Do you mind if I go tell him now?”

Ethan shook his head and Logan left the room. He turned to Remus in shock. “This is crazy,” he signed. “This is completely crazy.”

“This is how life is supposed to be,” Remus said with certainty. “This is how parents are supposed to act. Dad was never acting like a dad.”

“You take that back!” Roman exclaimed from the doorway.

“Why should I? It’s true!” Remus shot back.

The twins started bickering and Ethan sighed, putting all his summer work in its designated folder and he walked away from the two arguing, up to his room to find a book to read. He couldn’t read as fast as some of the other kids, but that didn’t matter when he was just reading to himself.

He pulled out one of the story books he had gotten from Virgil, a shortening of The Nightmare Before Christmas that Ethan adored. He curled up in a corner and started reading.

After some time, Virgil walked in. “Hey Ethan, if you’re hiding from the twins, Logan has them calm. Roman’s started working on his summer work so he won’t be bothering anyone.”

Ethan nodded idly and turned back to the book.

“Logan said you didn’t like public school and that you might be interested in homeschooling. That true?”

Ethan nodded. “School is overwhelming and the kids are mean,” he signed. “I don’t want to go back.”

“That’s fair,” Virgil agreed, sitting next to Ethan. “I completely understand why you’d not want to go back.

Ethan offered Virgil a bittersweet smile and Virgil offered one back. “Your old man didn’t understand that, I take it?”

“He said I deserved all of it,” Ethan signed. “That every mean word they tossed my way would stop if I just behaved ‘normal.’”

“That’s not very fair of him,” Virgil said with a frown.

“It’s not,” Ethan agreed.

~~~

“I don’t care what you were doing, Ethan, if they were bugging you, it was your fault. I know you’ve always been a little strange, but you have to act normal at school, understand?”

Ethan nodded along to Dad’s lecture. It was hardly the first time he had heard it. He had heard it coming home a thousand times. But this was the first time he had to go home early over it. The first time he had stood up for himself and the other kids had retaliated with force. He knew that this was the calm before the storm. Dad wasn’t yelling because the people in other cars could see him. But he would pay when they got home. This would just cement Dad’s conviction that Ethan had the demons in him.

Sure enough, when they got home, Dad took Ethan to the chair he always sat in for exorcisms. Ethan mostly tuned him out as much as he could. The incense made his head hurt and his eyes water, and if he cried Dad would hit him with the crucifix, but for the most part Ethan just forced himself to check out of it. The sooner this was over, the sooner he could retreat to his room and hide until Roman and Remus came home. His fingers trembled. He hated this, and hated school. He wouldn’t even be in trouble if the other kids just took the time out of their day to respect him. But apparently, that was too hard. Too bad. And Ethan got saddled with the blame yet again.

~~~

Virgil and Ethan had been signing with each other for the past half an hour. School was about to start in two weeks, and Virgil had been working with Ethan to ensure that he was comfortable, and not nervous going back. Virgil had asked him what he thought about introducing himself to all the new kids he would meet in the homeschooling program they had chosen. And Ethan knew how he wanted to respond, but he wasn’t sure how to say it.

Ethan played with his hands, before haltingly signing, “Dad’s not coming back for us, right?”

“He’s never going to bother you boys again,” Virgil said solemnly. “I promise.”

“Then...I hate my name. I want to change it,” Ethan signed. “I never liked it. I want to go by something else.”

“Yeah, okay. Ethan is a kinda biblical name, I get why you might not like it,” Virgil said. “What do you want to be called?”

He shrugged. “Janus?” he asked. “Remus has been reading and talking a lot about mythology lately, and I like the name.”

“Yeah, okay. I can call you Janus. Do you want to tell the others, or do you want me to tell them?”

“Can you?” Janus asked. “I know Roman won’t like it, and I don’t want him yelling over me.”

“Yeah, of course,” Virgil said, smiling. “Let’s tell Logan and your brothers.”

Janus happy-flapped his hands, beaming ear-to-ear. Virgil gently herded him into the living room, where Remus was reading, Roman was writing for summer homework, and Logan was watching over Roman’s shoulder. Virgil cleared his throat. “We have an announcement,” he said.

The three of them looked up and Janus flapped his hands as Virgil put a hand between his shoulder blades. “Ethan is changing his name. We’re calling him Janus, now, all right?”

Remus cheered. “Heck yeah! Love the name, Janus!”

Logan smiled, pleased. “I’m glad you finally feel comfortable enough with us to express yourself properly, Janus.”

Roman was staring at the ground, forehead creased. Janus watched him uncomfortably, knowing that he was going to have an adverse reaction, but still surprised when Roman looked up and just said, “No.”

“This isn’t optional, Roman,” Virgil said sternly. “This is Janus’ choice, to make him feel more comfortable. If you have a problem with that, then you need to get over it.”

“I have a problem with all of this!” Roman said, throwing his hands in the air. “Men aren’t supposed to get married to each other like you two, and they’re not supposed to grow their hair out into a ponytail like Remus is doing, and no one is supposed to change their name! Dad gave you the name Ethan! You can’t use anything else! To do that would be disrespecting him!”

“Dad’s dead!” Janus screamed.

“All the more reason to keep your name! Honor thy father and mother! Even in death you have to respect him, Ethan!” Roman hollered back.

“Fuck you!” Janus exclaimed, tears falling down his cheeks. “Dad called me a moron, and stupid, and a burden, an abomination, a demon! I don’t want anything to do with him! I always hated my name and I’m trying to be who I want to be! Same as Remus, same as anyone! Why do you get to be whatever you want but we can’t?! Dad tortured you too, you know!”

Roman shook his head. “No. He didn’t.”

“He did! You told him you were gay and he hurt you! He hurt all of us beyond words, and Remus made him hurt back! Dad’s dead, Roman! He can’t hurt us anymore! And yet you’re making me and Remus hurt worse than he ever did!” Janus exclaimed.

~~~

Roman cleared his throat softly at the edge of the kitchen. “Hey, Dad, can I tell you something?” he asked.

“Of course, kiddo, you can tell me anything!” Dad chirped.

“Okay,” Roman said. “I was talking to my teacher today, and I realized I don’t really...like girls? Like. I’ve never had a crush on a girl. And I don’t want one. Girls are okay, but like...I like boys. Like. Romantically, I mean.”

Dad stilled from where he had been working on dinner. Ethan swallowed from where he was watching by the closet. This was about to get ugly. “No,” he said.

“No?” Roman asked. “Dad, I talked to the teacher, and he said—”

“I said no!” Patton exclaimed. “Being gay is a sin! Two of my boys are already defective, I don’t need a third!”

Roman recoiled backwards as Dad slammed the spoon he had been using onto the counter and he roughly grabbed Roman’s arm. “Ow!” Roman yelped. “Dad, that hurts!”

Dad wasn’t listening, not that he ever did. He already had two sons with “stubborn demons” in them, and he wasn’t about to let a third take hold in his final “good” child. Ethan knew that was the only way Dad would ever see it. Dad tied Roman to one of the dining room chairs, despite Roman’s protests. “Dad, what did I do wrong?! I just said that I liked—”

A hand came into contact with Roman’s cheek before he could continue. He stared up at Dad with wide, fearful eyes. “You. Will not. Say that. In my house!” Dad roared.

Roman’s eyes filled with tears, but Dad would not be swayed. After all, the demons had to leave. He went to the basement and grabbed the incense, the matches, and the crucifix. He came back upstairs, where Roman struggled in his bindings. Dad rapped Roman on the knuckles with the crucifix. “Stop that!” he instructed in a voice just this side of deadly. He struck a match and lit the incense, placing it around Roman, starting to chant.

As he chanted and Roman sobbed, Ethan approached, slowly. Roman mouthed, “Help me!”

Ethan hesitated. Roman never helped him or Remus, so why should Ethan do anything different? But Roman didn’t know that Dad did this. His fear told Ethan that much. After a moment, he retreated quickly, grabbing Remus and tugging on his sleeve urgently, pointing towards the kitchen. Remus understood instantly, jumping off the bed and rushing downstairs. Ethan followed at a slower pace.

Roman refused to stop wailing, and he hadn’t cried this much since Mom had died. Dad whacked his knuckles with the crucifix again, which caused Roman to yelp. “Stay still, demon! I won’t let you possess my son any longer!” Dad exclaimed.

“D-demon?! Dad, it’s me! It’s Roman!” Roman wailed. “I’m not possessed! Please!”

There was a crash further in the kitchen and Dad whirled around, snarling, only to find Remus weilding a meat cleaver. “Get the fuck away from my brother!” Remus hollered.

At the edge of the hallway, Ethan gasped. Dad growled. “Remus, put that down!” he exclaimed.

“I don’t think you heard me!” Remus shouted back. “Get the fuck away from my brother! Now!”

Dad snarled. “Haven’t you learned not to interrupt an exorcism?!” he asked. “I’m trying to help you wretched children and all you ever do is whine and cry that I’m hurting you! Well, I’m sick of it! Drop the meat cleaver!”

“Not until you get away from Roman! He’s not possessed! He’s gay! And there’s nothing wrong with that! The only wrong one here is you!” Remus exclaimed.

“Drop the meat cleaver! Now!” Dad hollered.

Remus only held it higher. Dad snarled and moved forward, crucifix held high over his head as a weapon to scare Remus into dropping the knife.

But Remus didn’t drop the knife. Remus charged forward, an unspeakable angry fire in his eyes, and he drove the meat cleaver deep into Patton’s abdomen.

Ethan screamed, an ear-piercing shriek unlike anything any of them had ever heard before. Roman was shouting something incoherently. Remus stared dead into Dad’s eyes as he pulled out the meat cleaver and hissed, “See you in Hell, Satan.”

Dad collapsed onto the floor, blood pooling around him. “You little shits think you’ve gotten away with this?” he hissed, voice raspy as he coughed up blood, “This is only just the beginning. God could never love rejects like you. I certainly won’t miss you when you go to Hell.”

~~~

Roman had curled up into a fetal position, screaming his throat raw to try and silence Janus, even though he had said everything he wanted to long ago. When Roman finally stopped screaming, Janus and Remus quietly explained the full story of what had happened that day. When Dad died. When Remus lost it. When Ethan first spoke, telling the paramedics where to find Dad. Where Dad bled out on the floor, and the police called it a tragedy, interrogating Remus. Where they couldn’t press charges because Remus was defending Roman, even though all the police officers sent the boys dirty looks when they came in and out of the house.

But much to Janus and Remus’ surprise, Logan and Virgil didn’t turn away in disgust. They listened attentively, and when the story was done they hugged Janus and Remus and promised them that this didn’t change anything. That they were still part of the family if they wanted to be. Roman was still curled up in a ball. Janus and Remus slowly approached him. “Roman?” Janus prompted softly.

His only response was a sniffle, and Janus and Remus shared a look. “Roman, Dad was wrong. About so many things. It’s not wrong to change your name, or grow your hair out, or even to be gay. I know you’re trying hard to emulate Dad so that you can go to Heaven, but you don’t have to. You’re not going to Hell for being gay. You’re not going to Hell for any reason,” Remus said.

Roman wiped at his eyes. “Dad wanted what was best for us...”

“He wanted what he thought was best, not what was actually best for us. And following down his path is only going to lead to pain for you,” Remus said. “I know it won’t be easy, but please try and keep an open mind? I know it’s going to be hard, and there’s going to be hiccups on the way, but Janus and I can help you. I promise. Everything will be okay.”

Roman looked between Janus and Remus, and Janus silently nodded. “We’ll help you with this,” Janus signed. “We want to be your family. We love you. You know that, right?”

“Yeah,” Roman mumbled. “Okay. It won’t be easy, but I’ll try.”

Remus and Janus smiled. “That’s all we ask,” Remus said. “Thank you.”

~~~

Janus was running around the playground with a couple kids from the homeschooling group, playing around and joking and laughing. He had started to feel comfortable enough to speak a little bit, but even if he didn’t want to do that, he could always sign. The kids were incredibly quick, picking up sign language like it was no big deal. Janus had never known acceptance quite like this before, and he loved it.

“Hey, Janus!” Ben called from the top of the slide.

Janus looked up and waved with a grin. “What’s up?” he signed.

“Why don’t you ask Roman to play? I know Remus is over with my sister, but Roman’s just kinda by himself.”

Janus nodded and dashed over to Roman. “Wanna play with me and Ben?” he asked Roman.

Roman was poking the holes in the metal bench he was sitting on with a woodchip. “Not really,” Roman said flatly.

Janus bit his lip. It was still so soon after Janus had changed his name, after Roman had said he would try and go easy on himself. But he seemed to only be beating himself up more than ever. “Come on, Roman. Just one trip down the slide wouldn’t hurt!”

“I don’t want to,” Roman said.

“Roman, what’s wrong?” Janus asked.

“You know what’s wrong,” Roman sighed.

Janus looked down. “Come on, please? I want to help you feel better.”

“I was fine before,” Roman growled.

“I don’t think you were,” Janus said. “No one does. Not even Doctor Picani. He’s the one who always insisted that you were repressing your feelings even worse than me and Remus.”

Roman growled. “I don’t want to play with you, Ethan.”

“It’s Janus,” Janus said softly.

“Right. Janus. Sorry,” Roman said, voice flat and not sounding very sorry at all.

Janus sighed and grabbed Roman’s hands, pulling him to his feet. “Come on,” he grunted. “You don’t have to play with me and Ben, but you deserve to play.”

“I don’t want to,” Roman insisted flatly.

Janus rolled his eyes. “Sure you don’t.”

Roman protested as Janus dragged him all the way over to Ben. “Hey, Roman!” Ben chirped. “You always seem like you’d rather be doing anything else when you come with Logan and Virgil to pick Janus up from the PE part of the program, what gives?”

Roman sullenly shrugged.

“Come on! There has to be something that you’d want to play, right?” Ben asked. “There’s so many things we can do, you just need to use a little imagination. Janus has fun playing with me, even if he doesn’t come up with a lot of games on his own.”

“Yeah, Ethan isn’t much of a...creative type, I guess,” Roman said.

“I’m plenty creative,” Janus signed. “Just not in ways you two recognize. And it’s Janus, Roman.”

“Say, that’s a question!” Ben said. “Why do you call Janus ‘Ethan,’ Roman?”

“Because that’s his name,” Roman said. “That’s the name our Dad gave him.”

“Your dads named him Ethan?” Ben asked in confusion. “They always call him Janus.”

“No! Our Dad. Logan and Virgil aren’t our dads.”

Ben looked to Janus, and Janus sighed. “They’re our foster dads. Roman doesn’t like that they’re together.”

“What?” Ben asked. “But being gay is just a part of life, isn’t it? Some guys like guys. That’s fine.”

“That’s not what Dad said,” Roman said sullenly.

“Are...you gay?” Ben asked Roman.

“No!” Roman exclaimed. “I thought I was, but I was wrong.”

Janus rolled his eyes, signing the short version of the story to Ben. Dad said Roman couldn’t be gay, but Dad wasn’t around anymore, and Roman was having problems understanding that.

Ben nodded at the end of it, like he knew all the secrets of the universe. “It’s okay, Roman,” Ben said sagely. “Whenever you can accept yourself is fine. That’s what my mom said about my sister.”

“Your sister?” Roman asked.

“Yeah. She’s transgender,” Ben said. “I don’t understand all of it, ‘cause I’m only six, y’know? But she has a girl brain in a boy body. And Mom said she could be a girl if that made her happier.”

“But?!” Roman asked in confusion. “That’s a sin!”

“No it’s not!” Ben said, laughing. “Mom says that a lot of people think that, but she says that’s just ‘cause they’re afraid of what they don’t understand. And Jesus blessed eunuchs in the Bible, didn’t you know? They weren’t boys or girls, and Jesus still loved them! It’s not a sin to be who you are!”

Roman looked like he might cry. Janus softly asked, “You okay, Roman?”

“But...Jesus...loved them?” he asked, voice soft and small and afraid.

“Yeah!” Ben exclaimed. “I asked my pastor about that once, and that’s what he said! Without even stopping to think about it! He just knew!”

Roman looked at the ground. “So...if it’s okay to do that...it’s okay to be gay? Maybe?”

“Definitely!” Ben exclaimed. “There’s nothing wrong with being gay! The knight in shining armor can get the prince, rather than the princess!”

Roman hugged his arms around his stomach and asked, “Can we play a game where I’m the knight trying to get the prince, then? I’m tired of trying to save princesses and pretending I like them.”

“Yeah, of course we can! If that’s okay with you, Janus?”

“Fine by me,” Janus signed. “Hey, Roman?”

Roman made a questioning noise.

“I’m proud of you,” Janus said with a wide grin. Then, he shouted, “Last one to the swingset has to lick it and be the evil dragon!”

And Janus and Ben took off, leaving a stunned Roman behind.

~~~

Janus walked into Roman’s room, to see Roman kneeling on the ground by his bed and mumbling. Janus paused to give Roman some privacy, and when Roman stopped mumbling, he looked over at Janus and smiled. “Hey, Jan,” he said softly.

“You still pray?” Janus asked in shock.

“Yeah, I do,” Roman said, turning pink. “I had a talk with Logan and Virgil’s pastor friend. He said that it was okay to pray, and it was okay if praying made you and Remus uncomfortable, too. There’s no right or wrong way to worship God.”

Janus nodded, rubbing one arm with the other. “I don’t think I’m religious,” he admitted.

Roman nodded. “I figured. I asked Pastor Sanders about that too. And he said that lots of people who’ve been hurt by the church leave it. And he doesn’t blame them, and neither does God.”

Janus blinked. “You mean...I wouldn’t go to Hell for not believing in God, or being too hurt to pray to Him anymore?”

“That’s what Pastor Sanders says,” Roman said. “And he’s so much nicer than Dad ever was. He loves getting to hear questions. It means people are trying to grow in their faith, according to him.”

“Really?” Janus asked, the word flying out of his mouth in shock. Dad had never, ever wanted them to question what was said in the Bible. According to him, it was a sign of disrespect.

“Yeah,” Roman said, sitting on his bed. “I really like Pastor Sanders. I know it’s okay to be gay, now. Um...I had a long talk with him about that recently. Because...I mean...I kinda like this boy...”

Janus’ eyebrows rose. “Who?!” he asked excitedly.

“You don’t know him,” Roman said with a little laugh. “But he works with the community theater with his parents, and he says it's a lot of fun. I was hoping to ask Logan and Virgil if we could go to see some of the plays sometime, because I really want to get to know him better, and see the work he does.”

“That’s cool,” Janus signed.

“Was there a reason you came looking for me?” Roman asked.

“Not really,” Janus signed with a shrug. “I just wanted to hang out.”

“You just...you never wanted to hang out with me before,” Roman said, thoroughly mystified.

“You were always a giant ass before,” Janus signed with a little grin.

“Don’t let Logan and Virgil catch you signing things like that,” Roman warned.

Janus shrugged. “They don’t care if I curse if it’s not at authority figures.”

“What, I’m not an authority figure?” Roman asked, placing a hand on his chest.

“Duh. You’re my brother,” Janus signed, rolling his eyes. “We’re more equals.”

“Huh,” Roman said. “Another thing Dad was wrong about. We should make a list.”

“Long list,” Janus warned.

“But an interesting one, I would think,” Roman mused. “I dunno, it might just be me, but I definitely want to see how much Dad was wrong about. Might give me a little reminder on the bad days that I don’t have to listen to everything he said.”

“Good idea,” Janus signed. “Want me to grab some paper and we can work on it together?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Roman agreed.

Janus grabbed a couple sheets of loose-leaf paper from Roman’s desk and brought them over to Roman’s bed, where he had grabbed a hardcover book to write on and a pencil. Janus sat down next to Roman on the bed, and was surprised when Roman wrote down the first item on the list without even a second of hesitation: Janus is not a moron.

He thought he might cry at that. He hugged Roman tight, a few tears slipping down his cheeks as he blinked. “It’s true, you know,” Roman said. “You’re really, really smart, Jan.”

Janus laughed. “The first time you’ve told me that,” Janus said.

“I know, and I’m sorry it took me this long to figure that out,” Roman said. “You’re wicked smart. I’m honestly surprised that you didn’t slug me every time I called you a moron.”

“I was too scared to,” Janus admitted with a shrug. “But that doesn’t mean I didn’t really, really want to.”

“I don’t blame you,” Roman sighed.

Janus put a hand on Roman’s shoulder. “Hey,” he signed. “You’re better than that now. You’ve learned. That’s the important thing.”

“Yeah?” Roman asked.

“Yeah,” Janus agreed. “I think if you ask Pastor Sanders he would agree. It’s important to learn and grow from our mistakes. And if we do learn and grow, I don’t think God would hold it against us.”

“Yeah,” Roman agreed. “I hope so.”

“I know so,” Janus said. “I may have a tough relationship with God, but it’s good you have a good one. And if you ever doubt that you’ve learned, look at this list. It’s proof that you’ve gotten better.”

Roman nodded. “You’re right,” he agreed. “I have come a long way from where we started.”

Remus burst into the room, yelling, “Guys! Leslie is outside with her dog and she said that we could pet her!”

Janus immediately leapt off the bed, and Roman wasn’t far behind, as they ran outside to pet the chocolate lab that had been the source of their fascination for the last week. Leslie was their neighbor, and she had recently gotten Hershey as a service dog. They hadn’t been allowed to pet her before, but if Leslie said it was okay right now, they were absolutely going to make the most of that. As they cooed over and pet Hershey, Janus grinned. One day, he wanted a dog. Maybe he’d ask Logan and Virgil. He had problems in loud and bright places still, and having a dog to support him could be really useful.

Right now, though, he just wanted to make the most of being able to pet Hershey. He cooed over her and her tail was wagging at light speed, and when she licked him, he laughed. Dogs were super cool and friendly, as long as you knew how to treat them right. Kinda like people. And Janus always hoped to have people who treated each other right.

~~~

Janus and Remus were just hanging out together, Janus reading a book while Remus drew, when suddenly Janus’ stomach lurched. “Remus,” he said.

“Yeah?”

“Halloween is coming up.”

Remus paled. “Oh. Oh. You’re...you’re right.”

Janus could feel himself on the brink of panicking. He knew Logan and Virgil weren’t going to try anything, but the memories of what Dad would do, and how they weren’t allowed to go trick-or-treating and had to hide in the basement with the crucifix and exorcism supplies were not exactly the happiest.

Remus swallowed and came over to Janus, sitting next to him. “Chin up, Jan, that can’t happen anymore, right?”

“Still scary,” Janus mumbled.

“I know,” Remus agreed. “But we don’t have any worries about new memories joining that particular collection.”

Janus nodded. He couldn’t stop thinking about the exorcism supplies, though. It wouldn’t get out of his head, and he thought that he might get sick. Before he knew what he was doing, he had jumped off the chair he had been sitting on and rushed to the bathroom, stomach upheaving everything. Remus came up to him slowly and rubbed circles on his back. “It’s okay, Jan, I promise. Everything’s gonna be okay.”

Roman knocked on the still-open door and asked, “Everything okay?”

Remus looked up and shook his head. “Nuh-uh.”

“What’s wrong?” Roman asked.

“Halloween’s soon,” Janus gasped before promptly sticking his head back in the toilet, the declaration making him sick again.

Roman didn’t move for a minute, before he whispered, “Shit!” and dashed away.

He was barely gone a minute before he was back in earshot, chattering away to who could only be Virgil and Logan. Virgil said, “Thanks for keeping us in the loop, Roman. Remus, do you want to come with me and Roman to the living room? Give Logan and Janus a little privacy.”

Remus hesitated, patting Janus’ shoulder twice before standing up and retreating with his twin behind Virgil. Logan came over and sat against the wall, observing Janus. “So, Roman told us what happened on Halloween,” he said, forced casualness in his voice, but Janus could hear the fury underneath.

“Yeah,” Janus gasped. “Not fun.”

“No,” Logan agreed. “Even Virgil looked horrified at that, and his parents were almost as bad as Patton was.”

Janus shuddered. He had heard little bits about Virgil’s parents before, but Virgil didn’t like talking to them or about them, even though they were still in the area. They could have passed each other in the church and Janus would never have known, because Virgil didn’t have a single picture of them anywhere in the house.

“Virgil and I were just discussing the merits of letting you three go out and buy costumes to go trick-or-treating when Roman found us. Would you be interested in that at all?”

Janus shrugged. “Maybe,” he said softly. “Dunno.”

Logan nodded sympathetically. “I can’t imagine what you must have gone through,” he said honestly. “And it’s okay if you don’t want to go to the costume shop or go trick-or-treating. But Virgil and I wanted to give you boys the option.”

“I just—” Janus cut himself off. “I want—” Again.

Logan tilted his head to the side. “What do you want?”

“I want to have never have met Dad,” Janus said, tears in his eyes as he looked at Logan. “I want to have always been with you and Virgil, and to not have to remember that day. I don’t want to have to go to therapy because I’m so mucked up in the head. And I know I can’t have that. But I want it. And it hurts to know that I can’t have it.”

Logan nodded. “There’s another question that Virgil and I have been wanting to ask you boys, but Virgil’s been scared to ask it. Personally, I think you boys are ready to hear it, and he’s been biding his time, but I think now is as good a time as any to talk to you three about it. Put Halloween thoughts on hold for a minute.”

Janus made an inquisitive noise.

Logan stood and offered a hand. Janus took it to stand up and then Logan walked out of the room, to where Virgil was sitting with Roman and Remus. “Virgil, I think it’s high time we asked the boys the question.”

Virgil looked up, slightly alarmed. “Are you sure?” he asked.

Logan just nodded. “Based on what I was talking about with Janus, they won’t say no.”

“What’s the question?” Remus asked.

“Would you boys like us to adopt you? Officially?” Logan asked.

Janus felt his entire body jolt. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Roman and Remus looked at each other in shock. “You...want to? Adopt us?” Roman asked, his voice sounding thick to Janus’ ears.

“We have since we met you, but we wanted to make sure you three were ready for it as well,” Virgil said. “You’d be part of the Storm-Holloway family. No more ties to your former father. I know that would have been hard on you at first, but if Logan thinks you’re ready, then I trust his judgement. But we want your approval first.”

Tears were forming in Janus’ eyes as he exclaimed, “Yes, please!”

“Of course!” Remus shouted barely a second after Janus. “I’d love to be adopted!”

Everyone looked to Roman, who was just sitting there, beaming even as he cried. “That would be...amazing,” he admitted softly.

“Then it’s settled!” Logan said, and the way he was smiling must have meant he was pleased. “You boys will be adopted before November.”

“Could we do it on Halloween?” Remus asked. “I want something good to happen on that day to remember.”

“Virgil?” Logan asked.

“I’ll see what I can do,” Virgil agreed. “Set an appointment for October thirty first.”

Remus cheered, Roman laughed, and Janus just stood there, beaming. They had a long, long way to go in their recovery. But they had made those first few dangerous and heart-stopping steps. And Janus, for one, couldn’t wait to see where this road took them.

#sanders sides fanfiction #TS-Storytime 2020 Submission #unsympathetic patton #sympathetic deceit #sympathetic remus #virgil sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders

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pastel-garbage-does-art · 4 years

Text

Breakfast Invitation

Hey!! This is my first time posting a fic to Tumblr-- but I’m hecka proud so... :)

This is an entry I wrote during this weeks writing challenge in a discord server I’m in! I hope you like it, and if you want me to post more fics here as well I might start doing that :D

Trigger Warnings -- slightly unsympathetic Roman, anGst... tell me if I missed something and I’ll add it!

Ship -- Hints at Moceit, but is up to your perception.

Plot -- Janus gets another visit from Patton after his name reveal, and makes a deal he may not regret after all... maybe mornings are more of his thing now.

Breakfast Initiation

Janus ran a hand through his hair, sighing quietly. He set his hat on the dark oak nightstand, then thought back to when he revealed his name. While it was reassuring to have Thomas trust him for now, it still hurt that practically none of the others did.

He shook his head, laughing dryly before taking his capelet off and tossing it in the general direction of his closet. He heard a knock at his door and immediately knew by the softness who it was.

"Come in, Patton." He mumbled, looking over his shoulder to see the door open slowly.

Patton peeked his head in, then gave a small smile and a wave. "Hey, Janus."

Janus took his gloves off, and indicated with one hand for Patton to actually come into his room as he set them on top of his hat. "Hello, do you need something? Or do you just enjoy my company?" He joked with a smirk, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh," Patton closed the door quietly, then walked over to look at Janus nervously, "Well, I kinda got the sense you were having some... icky feelings." He fidgeted with his cardigan sleeves, waiting for a reply. But Janus was slightly speechless. It'd been so long since anyone had genuinely asked how he felt, and he didn't know how to reply.

"No... must be someone else." He smoothed back his hair with one hand, smiling. He faltered as Patton crossed his arms.

"Janus, don't lie to me right now. Please." His firm tone softened, "I know I haven't, well, been the best towards you in the past," he ignored Janus' small huff of disbelieving laughter, "but I do mean it when I say that I'm worried. I haven't felt such a strong wave of negative emotion from anyone since I met Virgil."

"Are you done with the self-righteous speech?" Janus muttered, raising a brow. He could've been mistaken, but he swore that Patton flinched, a flash of hurt in his eyes. "We both know I'm fine." He didn't mean to sound so harsh, but he was tired of Patton suddenly trying to be a saint. It was probably the fifth time this week, and it was only Wednesday mind you, that Patton had casually 'dropped by'.

"Janus-- I really do mean it! Won't you just talk to me? I've apologized, and I know I was wrong, so come on!" Patton raised his voice, surprising both of them. "I didn't mean to yell, I'm sorry." He whispered, glancing down at his wrist as he messed with his bracelets.

Janus let out a breath, "Okay. If I tell you how I'm feeling, will you stop?" Patton hesitated, then nodded meekly. "Fantastic. Yes, I feel 'icky', but you shouldn't be surprised. I finally reveal that I'm not trying to do anything awful or be a bad guy, but now I feel more hated than ever." He leaned down slightly, glaring, but not necessarily intending it to be directed at Patton alone. "And now I have someone who keeps coming to my room to see if I'm..." he trailed off, the heat dying in his words as he realized something, mumbling the last part, "okay."

God, he was an idiot. Patton was Morality. Why would he of all people come here to mock him by pretending to care? He wouldn't. Turns out he just has such high built walls that he automatically assumed Patton was out to get him by worming his insecurities out of him.

"Oh. I see." Patton said quietly, looking away. "Well, we had a deal so... I'll see you around." The now-defeated side turned away, and suddenly a flood of guilt rushed at Janus. He grabbed Patton's hand, gripping it tightly, "Please, Patton, don't leave." He choked, desperation in his voice. Tears were welling up in his eyes now, and he realized just how badly he'd wanted someone to reach out to him all this time.

"I thought you didn't want me here.", Patton replied, sounding bitter but looking surprised. It was more a statement than a question, considering Janus had pretty much indirectly said as much.

"How could you ever think that?" Janus brought Patton close to his chest, hugging him and mumbling into his hair.

"Well, you made it pretty clear before." He replied, not pushing away, but not hugging back either.

"I... I'm sorry Patton. This whole time you've been trying to be nice to me, and I thought it was a trick. I'm so used to being on my own that I tried pushing you away so I didn't have to get hurt." He pulled back just enough to look at Patton face-to-face. "And in doing so I hurt you, didn't I?"

Patton frowned, then nodded, suddenly teary. He hugged Janus back, hiding his face in his shirt out of embarrassment. "I just want to do my best to right my mistakes, Janus. I know I've treated you bad, and the others have too..." He looked up at him, "I think if they see that I'm okay with you, they'll start to be nicer."

Janus sighed, "Alright. How about a new agreement?" He offered with a small smile. Patton was a bit hesitant given the first 'deal' they made, but nodded, looking up at him and wiping at his eyes under his glasses. "From now on I'll stop pushing you away, and I'll come to whatever breakfast or hangout you invite me to instead of refusing. And in return, I just ask you to be honest to me too and... be my friend."

Smiling, he could tell Janus was a bit nervous about his request. Patton nodded again, but this time he wasn't hesitant. "Silly, you don't have to ask me to be your friend with a deal. I already want to be!" It was a bit surprising to Janus as to how much that relaxed him, but they were both glad that they finally got over things. "Well, I guess now that we've agreed on that..." Patton grinned mischievously.

"Oh no, what are you thinking?" Janus narrowed his eyes, speaking in a mostly playful tone.

"Join us for breakfast tomorrow?" Patton gave him little puppy eyes, making him sigh and smile. So it was true that nobody could say no to that look, huh?

"Alright, I'll see you then."

"Yes! Patton~ did a good thing~!" Janus laughed, and a second later Patton followed suit with little giggles. "Night, Jan." Seeing the taller side's surprise, he quickly added, "Sorry, I won't call you that if you don't want me to."

At this point, they'd separated from the hug, so he put an ungloved hand on Patton's shoulder and smiled. "No, it's okay. As long as I get to call you Pat." He teased.

"Okay!" Patton beamed, making Janus melt a bit. "See ya then!" He left, still smiling warmly.

"Here goes nothing." Janus sighed, shaking his head fondly before getting ready for bed.

★★★★★★★★

That morning Janus went down to the living room, looking around a bit as he didn't usually get the chance to see the difference between the real world one and the one the 'lights' occupied.

"Jan!" He nearly jumped out of his skin, whipping to look at the kitchen. Ah, it was just Patton.

"Good morning Pat," He walked over to the kitchen, leaning in the doorway and smiling, "What smells so good?"

Patton beamed, "I'm making pancakes! They have blueberries in them too." He turned back to the stove to check on the one currently in the pan, then flipped it.

"Sounds good." Janus pushed off the wall and began walking over to Patton to see if he wanted help, but was hit in the side of the head with a projectile pair of headphones. "Ow--"

"Why Is HE here?" Hissed a voice from the living room. Janus picked the headphones up from where they had fallen to the floor with a gloved hand, then looked up to see Virgil glaring at him.

"Ah, Virgil, morning. I think you dropped something." He held up the headphones to show, and smirked.

Patton glanced nervously between the two, then smiled at Virgil. "Now, Kiddo, that wasn't very nice. I invited Janus to have breakfast with us, so please apologize."

Virgil opened his mouth to argue, then let out a frustrated huff. Nobody could argue with Patton over something like this, so he begrudgingly muttered, "Sorry."

"It's alright." Janus shrugged, not in the mood to fight with him. This took Virgil by surprise, so he just stared as Janus walked over and held the headphones out. He honestly already felt out of place, so he wasn't about to give a reason to be shunned again, even if he wanted to make a mean-spirited remark.

"Okay," Virgil replied in an annoyed tone, snatching the headphones from Janus' hands and putting them back on, crossing his arms and sitting on the couch.

Janus sat at the dining table, Patton having added a fifth chair for him. He idly waited, fiddling with his gloves before looking up at Logan, whose footsteps had paused in the kitchen doorway suddenly. "Hello." He mumbled, waving.

"Janus. Good morning, I was not aware you'd be joining us this morning." Logan walked over to the table, sitting in his spot and closing his book.

"Oh, Patton invited me last night."

"So you finally stopped rejecting his attempts to talk to you." Logan scoffed, not trying to be mean, but most definitely having been annoyed when Patton whined in distress to him.

"... That I did." He looked down at his hands on the oak table, and they fell back into silence, the only sound being Patton humming as he finished cooking.

Logan finally spoke again, looking up from his book to realize he made the other more uncomfortable than he already was. "Janus, do excuse me, I didn't mean to be rude. It's only that I've seen how upset Patton was every time you rejected his attempts. I still am 'on the fence' about you, but if he has invited you to join us then it is illogical for me to intervene."

Janus smiled slightly, "Thanks, Logan." The other only nodded, fixed his glasses, then continued reading.

"Alrighty, everyone!" Patton beamed, making the three in the room look at him. "Breakfast is ready!" He put the plated pancakes at all five spots at the table, then looked around. "Where's Roman?"

"No clue," Virgil mumbled, walking into the kitchen and sitting in his chair, Logan thankfully sitting between him and Janus to prevent any bickering.

"It is likely he simply woke up late. I heard him singing whilst writing down ideas late last night, so it must have taken a toll." Logan stated as he set his book aside and picked up his fork.

"Well, if he doesn't come down in a few minutes I'll go get him. Poor kiddo must be tired!" Patton sat down, and they all began eating in relative quiet, occasionally talking or asking Patton if he added something to his recipe. Janus smiled a bit. Sure, Virgil was still upset at him, but it was nice to spend the morning around others and eat something that wasn't days old or burned. Neither he or Remus were very good cooks, and food poisoning was common with them.

Roman finally bounded into the kitchen, "I have arrived! Excuse my lateness, I was getting extra beauty sleep!" He went and sat at his seat, and Janus watched him while continuing to eat, wondering why he hadn't said anything to him.

"Great, now I have to look at Princey's face?" Virgil teased, rolling his eyes.

"Haha, very funny Panic! At The Everywhere." Roman shot back, picking up his fork.

"Good morning, Kiddo!" Patton smiled at their banter, standing up to take his and Logan's plates as they'd both finished eating already.

"Morning Patton--" He cut himself off as he noticed Janus and stood up abruptly, literally whisking out his sword to pointing it at Janus, who leaned away a bit, dropping his forkful of pancake back onto his plate. "Caution! The Reptilian Rapscallion has infiltrated our kitchen!"

Patton put the plates in the sink and frowned, "Roman--"

But surprisingly, Logan interrupted, soundly moderately irritated, "Considering Janus has a plate of half-finished pancakes and his own chair at the table, he has not infiltrated anything. It is illogical to assume he was not invited, so please do put away your sword." He firmly stated, staring him down till he lowered the sword and sheathed it safely.

"Why is he here?" Roman glared at Janus, who stared back with a bit less intensity, not wanting to back down but also not wanting to cause more trouble.

"Because I invited him, Kiddo." Patton put a hand on his shoulder, smiling softly up at him. "It's alright." Roman stared at him in disbelief, then groaned and sat back down.

"So that's why you made blueberry pancakes!" Roman outburst seconds later, gasping as he looked back at his plate.

Patton laughed nervously, blushing in embarrassment. "Yep!"

"You dare initiate him without a group decision?" Roman narrowed his eyes at Patton, but there was no heat in his gaze. Virgil let out an annoyed sigh, setting his fork down after finishing his pancakes.

"Roman, I think we all know there is no stopping him. I'm clear proof of that." Janus looked at the emo in surprise, considering he threw his headphones at him that very morning. But he really did just look like he wanted this to be over, accepting that Patton was too kind to let Janus be shunned

"But..."

"No buts! Now eat up Roman! We have a long morning~!" Patton beamed.

Was Janus missing something, or did everyone but him know what that meant? Well... here goes nothing. He laughed quietly, a bright and happy noise, and the atmosphere lightened a bit as everyone resumed eating and chatting.

And that’s the end!

I hope you enjoyed :D

I actually didn’t add the second half to my entry, but I kept it in my post just because of the headphone toss lmao... I won first somehow,, Here’s Jamus’ drawing ^^

#sanders sides #janus #patton #roman #virgil #logan #sympathetic janus #ilovemyboys #idkwhatelsetotag

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fairly-small-love · 4 years

Text

Fairly Small Asks (5)

Anonymous asked: Snake what are you gonna do now that you know the truth about the fae? -🦊

“What truth? He has proven nothing.” Snake huffed, setting Virgil onto his shoulder. “Come along, I’ll prove you wrong.” He kept walking, ignoring Virgil’s protests.

Anonymous asked: Maybe you should leave Virgil behind in case he is telling the truth then? -🦊

“He could get lost and hurt,” Dee answered, sighing. “Besides that I want to prove him wrong. And the only way to do that is to take him with me.”

Anonymous asked: Why do you write Patton so unsympathetic?

AN: Because I feel that fae Morality is kind of skewed. When I think of a fae, I think that their morals and codes are different than humans. ie, how Patton doesn’t see that he kidnapped people, because they came to him. But basically, he is so unsympathetic just cause I said so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ And I kinda like the fact of an unsympathetic Patton.

Anonymous asked: Why does Roman have a middle name?

“Because I do,” Roman huffed, pouting. “A lot of people have a middle name! See like Logan has one, and the new emo guy has one….and I bet whoever Patton’s next target is has one.”

“You can’t assume that,” Logan explained. “If he doesn’t have a middle name, I’m not sure if he can be taken by Patton.”

“Lucky him.”

Anonymous asked: Snake do you really think meeting up with a fae is a good idea? -🦊

“Yes I do,” He informed, cupping his hand around Virgil as the tiny man tried to slip down his shoulder. “Patton is my friend, and he doesn’t care about my…….deformities.” He reached up, patting his cheek. He felt a few rough bumps, knowing that they were the snake scales he was so ashamed of. Patton liked them, and that made him feel nice.

Anonymous asked: Because you’ve had your fun, he’s been up there way too long -🦊

“Fine,” Snake huffed, putting Virgil down. “So…Ann, why is Patton mean?”

“He kidnapped me and two other guys!”

“Do you have any proof?”

Virgil paused, looking down. “N-No but I….he put this on me,” Virgil explained, tugging on the silver collar with a blue jewel inside of it. “See?”

Anonymous asked: Virgil maybe you can hide in one of Snakes pockets? -🦊

“C-Can I?” Virgil asked hopefully, looking up at Snake.

Snake looked at him, nodding. “Sure, whatever.” He lifted Virgil up, holding him a moment and rubbing Virgil’s head with his thumb. He didn’t set Virgil in his pocket until the tiny man started squirming.

Virgil curled up, leaning against Snake’s chest. He heart a strong heartbeat under his ear, causing him to relax.

just-some-gt-trash asked: How small is Virgil compared to you snake?

“I’m not quite sure,” Snake admitted, reaching into the pocket. He wrapped his entire hand around Virgil, ignoring the curses he received. “I can easily curl my entire hand around him, so he is fairly small.” He let go, wincing when he received a punch to the chest. “That was uncalled for.”

“Asshole!”

Anonymous asked: Snake please tell me you will at least consider the possibility that the tiny dude is telling the truth? Also not tell Patton about him? -🐺

“Why? I considered it a long time ago, before I met mister midget.”

“Hey!”

“I trust Patton. I know he would never do anything to hurt me……he seems like a good fae.”

Anonymous asked: Hey Snake, you believe the tiny dude about Patton right? Or are at least willing to hear him out? Also not tell Patton about him. -🐺

“I won’t tell Patton he is with me, But I don’t believe him for a second. Why should I trust a complete stranger? Especially this random tiny guy who just ran into my shoe? Would you trust him?”

Anonymous asked: Just be cautious. He must have some reasoning behind telling you that Patton is bad, right? 🐺

“Patton isn’t bad,” Dee hissed, his eyes turning to slits. “He is a good guy! He appreciates me for me and my deformities unlike anyone else! I bet the midget is disgusted by them!”

“No I’m-” Virgil was cut off when a giant finger covered his mouth, silencing him once again.

“He brings me treasures and flowers and things……..I think he loves me.”

just-some-gt-trash asked: Patton did you find Virgil?

“No I didn’t!” Patton snapped, his face red with rage. “I know you know where he is! Where is my Virgil Ann!? Give him back! He is mine!”

Dee heard screaming in the woods, which caused him to pause. “What on Earth is that howling?”

Anonymous asked: Virgil, snake is getting close to where Patton is. Whatever you do don’t move or make noise! 🐺

Virgil nodded, tensing. He was terrified, frozen in fear. He hated this. He felt trapped and cornered. If he stayed with Snake, he might get caught. If he leaved and runs, he is either going to get caught or eaten. Neither option sounds good.

just-some-gt-trash asked: You really want to know? Maybe you should talk to Snake before I tell you, I think he’s coming

“Snake is here!?” Patton squeaked, his eyes fearful. “He can’t find Virgil! If he does he will run away from me!”

Anonymous asked: Snake already found Virgil-

“What!?” Patton screamed, hissing. “How dare that jewel! I thought he knew better than that!” His plans were ruined! Unless……

A smirk broke out on Patton’s face. “I’ll be sure to punish Virgil after all this is over. Forget the positive reinforcement nonsense….he is naughty. And naughty treasures get punished.”

Anonymous asked: No don't punish Virgil or he'll run again!!! Snake doesn't believe him Patton!

“I’ll lock him up!” Patton shouted, kicking over a dandelion. “And it’s a good thing Snake didn’t believe him! Or else his punishment would get worse!”

Anonymous asked: Virgil, Patton knows! He knows you're with Snake!

“What!?” Virgil cried out, his eyes wide with terror. “How did he find out!?”

Anonymous asked: ANON! Why would you tell him?! Patton Snake hasn’t found anyone calling themselves Virgil. Honest. -🐺

“Liar!” Patton screamed, hissing. “I don’t believe you! You are all jerks! I know where he is! I know it!”

just-some-gt-trash asked: Lets not be that rude on Virgil, I mean, most humans try to escape when something is bigger than them for instinct

“True I suppose, at least that would be the case if he were human,” Snake hummed, nodding. “He isn’t a human, not in the slightest. But I suppose any thing’s natural response is to run away from larger enemies.”

just-some-gt-trash asked: I think Virgil will hate me for this, but Patton, you did something earlier that made Virgil appear on your hand, can’t you do it again?

“I…..that is true,” Patton mumbled, contemplating the Idea. “I could….but I don’t want to waste magic if he is coming to me.”

Anonymous asked: Virgil you gotta escape! You gotta run!! Snake don't give Patton your name or tell him about Virgil! He's REALLY mad!

Virgil tried to climb out of the pocket, struggling to lift himself up. “Let me go! He is going to get me!”

“I told you I won’t give him my name!” Dee snapped, hissing. “And as long as the midget is quite Patton won’t know he is even there!”

Anonymous asked: Snake whatever you do DONT GIVE THE LITTLE DUDE TO PATTON🐺

“I WON’T GIVE THE THING TO PATTON! GET OFF MY BACK!” he roared, drawing a certain fae’s attention.

“Snake! You’re here!”

#afsl #infinitesimal!sides #infinitesimal sides #Tiny!Virgil #tiny!patton #tiny!roman #tiny!logan #tiny!deceit #giant!patton #giant!logan #giant!virgil #giant!roman #giant!deceit #fae!patton

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collapsingintojupiter · 5 years

Text

Sunshine and Storm Clouds: Chapter 8

Chapter 1 Chapter 1.5 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7

I'm back with another episode! Yay, I guess? I'm not even sure if you guys are still reading this but I like writing it, so I'm gonna keep writing it.

Anyways…

Characters: Roman, Deceit, Virgil, Logan, (baby!) Patton.

Pairings: Analogical

Warnings: minor death mention, implied past abuse, unsympathetic/villain Deceit. Please let me know if I need to add more.

___

Roman adjusted his backpack strap for the twelfth time in probably the last five minutes, wincing at the way his shoulders throbbed under the weight of the books he’d packed inside. God, why did school have to start up again, of all things? At least Virgil and Logan’s house was closer to the school than his was, rather than further away. Roman remembered when he’d had to walk several miles past his house to get to the previous home he’d babysat at--he had no bike and no money for one, and his mom needed the car--before the couple eventually moved away and he’d been forced to move on to other work. At least he could be grateful for that, he supposed. Less time walking meant more time babysitting and...more money.

Babysitting Patton wasn’t only about the money though, at least not anymore. Roman realized pretty quickly that he actually loved going to the house with the little boy in blue, and he even looked forward to working for them now when Logan called. And after today? He was especially glad that he got to see Patton after such a stressful first week of school.

“Hey, you.” Roman stopped humming Someday My Prince Will Come, glancing up as an unfamiliar voice penetrated his thoughts. A man dressed in a strange array of black and yellow was standing on the porch of the house next door to Virgil and Logan’s place, holding a small black snake in his gloved hands. He was smiling, though the left side of his face looked especially odd--were those scales? The man smiled at Roman when he looked up, nodding to him.

“Yes, you.” He motioned for him to come over. “I haven’t seen you around before--what’s your name, boy? Do you live here?” Roman glanced around, then hesitantly took a step closer to the house.

“M-my name’s Roman...I live that way…” He pointed down the street. The man smiled again, and there was something almost unsettling about the way he smiled.

“Vitiligo,” the man said.

“What?”

“I see you’re staring at my face.” The man looked down as the snake in his hands slithered from one arm to the other, giving it a look that might have been affection before glancing towards Roman again. “I have a skin condition called vitiligo. I figure if people are gonna stare, I might as well give ‘em something to stare at. You like it?”

“Oh,” Roman said. “Uh, yeah, it’s pretty cool.” And it was, a part of him wished that he was as confident in himself as this man was. “Um, what...what should I call you, Mr…”

“Mr. D will do for you.” The man took a step back towards the front door. “Would you like to come inside, Roman? I have tea...coffee...what do you like?”

“Oh, I uh…” Roman glanced over at Virgil and Logan’s house. “I...I have to get going, I’m sorry. I don’t want to be late for work.”

“Ah, I see. Responsibilities.” The man waved his free hand with a sigh. “I never did like those.” Roman found himself grinning a little despite himself, relaxing in the presence of this charming stranger. Adults were never this nice to him; maybe everyone in Virgil and Logan’s neighborhood was just naturally...really cool.

“Yeah,” he started to say. “My teachers--”

“Roman!” Roman jumped and spun around as a door slammed, his eyes going wide when he saw Virgil marching towards him. Except that he didn’t look like the normal, quiet, perhaps slightly grumpy man he’d gotten used to in the past few months. Instead looked...angry. Really angry. Furious, actually. His fists were clenched, eyes narrowed, body tense like he was about to attack Roman with his bare hands.

“S-sir?” Roman choked out, stepping back nervously and snapping his wrist up to check his watch. Could he outrun Virgil? “I...I’m on time! I’m coming!” But when he looked at the older man again, he wasn’t glaring at him. His furious gaze was locked on Mr. D, and as he came closer he deliberately placed himself between him and a very nervous Roman. His mind was racing; bubbling with confusion and questions, and what happened next didn’t help at all.

“Oh, well that explains everything.” Mr. D sighed and rolled his eyes, not bothering to take his focus away from the snake in his hand. “Really Virgil, I thought you were over trying to ruin people.”

What? Roman looked between Mr. D and Virgil; Virgil looked like he was about to explode and Mr. D seemed disinterested, almost annoyed.

“You leave him alone,” Virgil growled finally, not moving from where he stood.

“I was merely trying to be friendly,” Mr. D answered, glancing over Virgil’s shoulder at Roman. His voice was weirdly calm. “There’s no law that says I can’t express kindness to my neighbors, is there?”

“Drop the goddamn lies, Dee.” Virgil glanced down and Roman backed away another step, half-wondering if he should make a run for it, though the fact that he couldn’t afford to not work that day kept him there. “Roman, come with me.” Virgil suddenly ordered, his voice sharp. He turned and started back towards his house, scattering gravel with every angry step he took. Roman looked at him, half-frozen in place, then at Mr. D. The other man sighed and waved a hand.

“Don’t get yourself in trouble, Roman,” he said kindly. “I’ll be here should you ever want to visit.”

“Oh...um, okay.” Roman shakily started after Virgil, waving back to him as he left. “Bye, Mr. D.”

“Goodbye, Roman.”

Virgil was standing by the front door when Roman reached the Sanders’ porch, glaring past him at where Mr. D was still standing on the porch with his snake. He smiled at Virgil and winked, then disappeared back into his house. Virgil didn’t move.

“S-sir?” The purple-and-black clad father started, then looked down at him and sighed.

“Roman, please come inside,” he said, his voice suddenly sounding quiet and tired. Roman frowned, looked back at the house Mr. D had gone into, looked at Virgil, and then hesitantly stepped into the house. Logan was standing in the hallway with Patton in his arms, and the little boy squealed and waved at Roman when he saw him. He found himself smiling a little despite how strange the whole showdown at Mr. D’s house had left him feeling, and he took the little blue-clad boy into his arms as Logan held him out to him. Patton immediately grabbed onto one of his hoodie strings and stuck it in his mouth, and Roman didn't stop him. He looked at Logan, then at Virgil. They were looking at each other, but he couldn’t tell what either of them were thinking by their expressions.

“Uh...V-Virgil?” The purple-and-black one snapped his head down and Roman flinched.

“I apologize,” he said quickly, “I wasn’t...I’m not going to hurt you, Roman.” He sighed. “But please, for your own good do not go to Mr. D’s house. Do not talk to him, and do not approach him. I...of course I can’t control you...but if you must see him do it on your own time. Keep my son away from him. I’m...I’m sure I can trust you with that.”

Roman’s mind was spinning from the sudden change in Virgil’s demeanor and the odd request, but he soon realized that he was nodding.

“Of course,” he said, hardly aware that he was the one speaking. “I’ll do as you wish.”

“Thank you.” Virgil looked over at Logan, then down at his watch. “We should get going...we’ll be back around 5, alright Roman?”

“Yes sir.”

“You don’t need to call me sir.”

“...yes, Virgil.”

“As always, we appreciate your services,” Logan stated as he started for the doorway. “Goodbye, Roman.”

“Bye, Mr. Sanders.”

And then they were gone.

Roman stood there for a long time with Patton in his arms, staring at the door Virgil and Logan had just gone through.

“What just happened?” he muttered to himself, and he glanced over at where Mr. D’s house stood, out of view behind the wall of Virgil and Logan’s house. “Why does he…?” He shook his head and looked down at Patton.

“That was weird, wasn’t it?” he asked the little boy. Patton looked up at him, smiled, and reached out a little hand towards his face. “You’re right, I shouldn’t be worrying about that right now. How about...let’s go outside, shall we?” Patton giggled and clapped his hands, which Roman took to be an agreement. He took the little one-year old into the living room and gently set him down on the floor, where he got to work picking up an armload of his toys. Patton grabbed onto his pantleg and Roman shuffled the items to one arm, leaving the other free so that he could lead Sunshine into the yard.

Patton had gotten a bit better and more confident in his walking over the past few weeks, and hardly stumbled at all as he toddled after Roman into the yard to play. Roman put his toys down in a shady area and Patton plopped down next to him to play with the blocks. Roman carefully set his bunny up next to him just how Patton liked it--the boy refused to go anywhere without his little pink floppy-eared guardian, as Roman had very quickly learned. Bring the bunny, Virgil had told him, and he’d be happy.

And Sunshine indeed seemed happy. Roman crossed his legs and pulled up a few dandelions, starting a small flower chain.

“Wanna hear a story, Patton?” he asked absentmindedly. Patton waved one of his blocks in the air and then threw it off to the side. Roman quickly retrieved it, then settled down again.

“I’m gonna take that as a yes.” He yawned.

“So, once upon a time in a grand, faraway kingdom, a king had two sons. The older prince was charming, strong, and handsome. He learned quickly how the kingdom should be run and easily made friends with ambassadors and citizens alike. Everyone loved the older prince.

“But the younger prince, you see, Patton, he was very different from his brother. He was dark, and cruel, and he was always causing trouble and trying to blame it on his brother. He and the older prince fought all the time, mostly because of the younger prince, and the people of the kingdom disliked him very much. ‘That one’s trouble,’ they whispered to each other. ‘He’ll tear down the kingdom.’

“Nobody thought anything would come of it, though; nobody thought that any real harm would be done. That was, until one terrible day when the older prince disappeared without a trace. Rumors spread quickly around the kingdom that the younger prince had killed his brother in order to take the throne for himself, but before these could be confirmed there was another terrible tragedy--the king was dead.

“Of course, the younger prince quickly seized the throne and became the new king. He’d always wanted power, and he’d always talked about having the throne one day even though he was the younger of the two princes and the throne had rightfully belonged to his brother.

“But though the king had always wanted power, he proved to be a terrible king. Under him, rumors flew and a war started with the neighboring kingdom over a territory dispute. Thousands of soldiers died, and the people began to call for a revolution; a new king.

“And you know what happened, Sunshine?” Roman paused, laughing a little as Patton knocked over his stack of blocks. “New rumors started to pass; rumors of a knight that protected young maidens whose brothers and husbands were off to war. He fought off bandits and thieves with a mask tied over his face so no one knew who he was. People tried to talk to him; they tried to follow him and learn who he was, but they could never catch him.

“The knight soon came to be called the Prince of the People, and they praised his valiance all across the country.

“But you see, Patton, the king soon heard about the Prince of the People. And the king didn’t like him at all; he accused him or trying to start a rebellion, and sent out orders to have him killed.

“But his first assassin turned up dead, and a note was sent to the king--chase me, and you will regret it, the note read. The king burned the note. ‘I will not be intimidated!’ he declared. ‘I will find this Prince of the People, and I will kill him with my bare hands!’

“And he tried to do just that. He took his own personal guard with him and began roaming through the towns, looking for the Prince of the People so that he could kill him.

"But the knight was very smart, and he evaded the king's guard easily, even going so far as to take the king's own sword from him one night while he slept. He even left another note behind -- 'I warned you,' it read. The king was furious when he saw what had happened, and ordered that his own men be executed for their failure to catch the knight.

"And so their feud began. The king chased the knight all across his country, always just one step behind the Prince of the People, always just unable to catch him in his traps. He forgot about his kingdom and the people he was supposed to rule; putting everything into capturing the knight, never even going to his own palace except to get more supplies.

"And then, one night, he found him. The Prince of the People was sitting in a dark alleyway, injured and barely conscious. He'd been caught outnumbered in a fight with a gang of bandits, and had only barely managed to escape with his life. The king approached him, having finally caught his target at last, and tore the knight's mask away from his face--"

Roman paused. "Do you know who it was, Patton?" The little boy looked up when his name was called and smiled at him, waving his tiny puppy plushie in the air with one hand. Roman laughed--of course Sunshine didn't understand what he was saying at all; he would never be telling such a story if he did, at least not until Patton was older. Although, he sincerely hoped that he would be better at telling stories by the time Patton was old enough to understand them.

"It was the king's long-lost brother, Patton. You see, he hadn't killed him like the rumors had claimed he had in a fit of jealousy, and when the king demanded that his brother tell him why he had disappeared, his brother explained that he hadn't wanted to rule the kingdom at all. He'd always dreamed of being a soldier and a hero, and the day he disappeared was the day his father had told him he wanted to make him king.

"'I always hated the tradition that said the older son had to be king, and you'd always talked about ruling the kingdom one day. I thought it would be best if I just…disappeared. Then father would have to accept you,' his brother said.

"The king didn't know what to say at first. 'Then why are you turning my people against me?' he asked angrily. 'They're crying for revolution! They'll kill me!' The older brother didn't answer him for a long time.

"'What if I came back, then?' he said finally. 'What if we ruled the kingdom together?'

"The king remembered how much he and his brother had fought when they were young, how much they had disagreed. He remembered every brawl and every squabble, every insult and every argument.

"And you know what, Patton? He agreed. The king rushed his brother back to the palace where the best doctors in the country took care of him and nursed him back to health. And then he was crowned, and the very first country to be run by two kings was born. The people thought that it wouldn't work at first, that the kingdom would fall under the brothers' hands, but it didn't.

"Rather, the kingdom began to thrive under the brothers' reign. The people were happy. They had what they needed. The nobles were honest and fair. Later, it was said that the kingdom had never known better days than it did under those brothers…" Roman yawned. "The end," he murmured. "What do you think, Patton?"

Patton squealed and reached for the flower chain Roman had been working on with one hand. He chuckled.

"Yeah, you're right. I could've done better," he agreed. He secured the two ends of the dandelion chain together, then gently placed it on Patton's head.

"There you go," he told the boy. "You're a king now. What do you think?" The crown was a little too big and slipped to the side a bit, but before Patton could pull it off Roman managed to snap a picture of him.

"You're too cute," he said, shaking his head and standing up. He brushed the grass off his pants and helped Patton clean up, before he collected his toys and lead the little boy back inside to play in there.

---

They were in the living room, and Roman was reading Patton a children's book about a puppy and a kitten that were best friends when the door opened. Roman glanced gown at his watch in surprise--time had apparently passed a lot more quickly than he thought, then up as Logan stepped into the room. Patton looked up as well and stretched his hands out.

"Dada!" He cried, and Roman carefully handed the boy off to his father as he came inside.

"I see you two enjoyed yourselves," he stated, raising an eyebrow as Patton held up his somewhat-crumpled flower crown for his father to see. "What's this?"

"It's a flower chain," Roman answered, pulling the picture up on his phone and showing it to Logan. He smiled faintly when he saw it--the equivalent of a normal person going wild with happiness, Roman had learned. "Could you send this to me?" He asked. "Virgil would love this."

"I'd love what?" Virgil asked, stepping into the room. Roman showed him the picture and he smiled a little. "He's right. Nicely done, Roman." Roman beamed at them.

"Thanks," he said. "And I'll send it to you, no problem." He glanced down at his watch. "Um, I should probably get going. See you guys later?"

"Thank you for coming by. We'll let you know if we require your services again." Roman nodded and started for the door, but before he could open it he suddenly stopped and turned around.

"Si--ah, Virgil?" The father in purple turned around. "I...um, why do you hate Mr. D? I, uh...he just seemed so nice…" Virgil sighed and looked down; didn't answer him for a long time. Roman was starting to wonder if he should just leave when the older man finally spoke, his voice harsh and angry and sad all at once.

"Because, Roman, he was nice to me once too.”

___

Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, I’ve got some fun stuff planned that I’m going to try and get up soon and I’m really excited for it. Please message me if you’d like to be added to my taglist, and feel free to send me writing prompts if you want to see something! My inbox is always open if you’d like to talk, writing-related or not.

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@antisocialsilvermermaid @just-perhaps @ghostintimelostintime @amintyworld

#sanders sides #sanders sides fic #fanfiction #thomas sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #baby patton #deceit sanders #unsympathetic deceit #villain deceit #analogical #sunshine and storm clouds #roman sanders

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