#it gives birth to 5 kittens under his bed that night because of fucking course it does

[martyrbat]

I just know Barbara Gordon’s pet growing up would have been two gold fish that her uncle Jim got her.

she would get SO annoyed anytime jim messes up and calls one fish the other's name too...

(also, he tries his hardest to tell them apart, really, but also just... its two goldfish. what the hell do you mean ‘you can just tell’??)

#i also like thinking she was a mouse/rat kid.... #i have a slightly weird headcanon for older! babs and how she ends up having a parrot too #also stay with me ok?? but young babs seeing an alleyway cat with a hurt leg and torn ear and #just going to jim. the ‘dad — uncle jim! please! it obviously needs help!!’ but jim puts his foot down. the house is cramped enough #and a stray cant be around an infant! what if the cat has something and scratches or bites?! absolutely not. #he gets home from work & ofc has the cat bc she had watery eyes and the poor girl did just lose her only family member and had to leave #her friends and home and everything she once had. even her own name is no longer her own.... #she deserves something thatd make her happy and make gotham feel like a home... #but huh. for an alleyway cat it sure is quite fat huh? im sure its nothing unusual and hey it is kinda cute! :) #it gives birth to 5 kittens under his bed that night because of fucking course it does #jim is so fucking tired guys. he ends up asking his weird masked friend if he knew anyone thatd want a kitten in 8ish weeks. #when given the choice; babs decides to keep the mama instead of just a kitten. (jim secretly bonds with a kitten and keeps one anyways :)) #i just think she deserves an old rescue cat... she spoils it and rants to it and it keeps her grounded to reality in a way :33 #barbara gordon #uncle gordon #thank u for the ask anon!! this is a cute hc i am officially adopting it >:33 #<- more like of-fish-ially.... #sorry.

[doublydaring]

can you explain the michael psychosomatic kittens curse to me please it's been bothering me for upwards of a week

it would be an honor. it's kind of a long story but luckily I'm at work.

1. I was drawing pictures of Mike and Peter on zoom with my bestest friend Cal and I was drawing their beautiful 70s long hair as I am wont to do. A thought occurred in my head that the color of their hairs together would make a beautiful tortoiseshell cat. This prompted me to say aloud: "They would have beautiful kittens." Which of course raised questions. I wasn't even really thinking about kitten pregnancy at this point I was just thinking about their hair. But kitten pregnancy sprung forth none the less.

2. The household has been on kind of a Phyllis kick lately because I have a 73 slide long PowerPoint on the Monkees that I have been workshopping into a sort of combination stand up comedy/performance art piece. Our second focus group (the cast of rocky horror) said that they liked it but wanted more interpersonal drama. So I added Peter and Davy's fight and a "wife timeline" so we've been thinking about Monkee wives and I recently read Mike's book and Phyllis I think we can all agree is one of the most interesting and under-examined people in the whole Monkee cluster fuck.

3. So Mike is pregnant with Kittens. Because he and Peter would have beautiful kittens. And we all agree that being pregnant would be a good thing for Mike Nesmith. On a physical level it would suit him but also from a sort of pseudo feminist perspective where he is forced to take on the burden of """"womanhood"""" we feel it could help to facilitate understanding to what he's putting these women through.

4. So it becomes sort of body horror, where he is forced to confront the physical and emotional labor that he has been foisting on Phyllis and then neglecting her but in becoming pregnant he understands her and their relationship blossoms. We decide that Phyllis sort of has a mental break and convinces herself that she's going to trick Mike into thinking he's pregnant so that he understands just for a moment what she's going through. We try to come up with ways you could try to convince a man he is pregnant (this is difficult).

5. We realize we have lost the kitten plot. But Riley (who has been here the whole time because we share a room but I didn't want to introduce to many characters into this) has been taking a class on monsters and the monstrous and there is this medieval medical belief called "the maternal imagination" which is basically the idea that if you are pregnant and get scared by a mouse your baby will be born mouselike. Or if you are looking at a picture of a man who is not your husband while you conceive a baby the baby will look like the man in the picture, not it's actual father. It's a very interesting sort of belief.

6. So we decide that Mike stumbles upon a sick kitten one day and brings it home and is positively doting. Phyllis and his real life children remain secondary. He's about work and this fucking kitten. And so of course it becomes the object of Phyllis’s ire. And she hates that right? Because it's a sick and tiny kitten. And really she should hate Mike (but she cannot hate Mike this is a fundamental truth of her character). But she decides that she can make him understand. By making him think he's pregnant. And she goes to bed that night and has a dream that she gives birth to kittens.

7. Of course this is totally delusional he's never going to think he's pregnant but weirdly, he starts to ... act pregnant? In ways that she would have absolutely no control over. He's got that glow and he's gaining weight and most of all he's happy and is spending a lot more time at home hanging around. And she starts to get all doting excited husband on him. And their relationship is a lot more tenable now that their roles have subtly shifted. Because she is the responsible one right? But previously she'd have to defer to him and he had to perform this masculine patriarch role and neither of them are brave enough to challenge it but they both feel wrong fulfilling those roles. This is just right. But it's also very fucking wrong. Because Mike is pregnant??? And it's getting pretty undeniable. It is also clear that whatever is in there is not a baby. Phyllis has had babies and this is four little squirmy things. And so eventually Mike has kittens and it is not clarified how physically this happens but it does and it fixes him.

Sorry. I know this is pretty much batshit insane but it is the story.

[taebear0801]

Stray Kids Reaction to getting caught by a member in the act.

Warning ⚠️: this is smut also I am going to include Jeongin because he’s already turned 19 (he turned 19 in February).

—————

Bang Chan

He’s a busy guy and maintaining a relationship with you is hard. So when you guys get free time together it’s honestly such a blessing. Today was that day. You came over midday to bring some lunch for the boys who were hard at practise. And after a while, some of them decided to go to the arcade and the others stayed in the studio. So Chan took this opportunity to steal you away to spend some time together.

You guys were just enjoying each other’s presence while watching some tv and just talking but one kiss led to another and you were being carried by Chan to his bed whilst sucking on his soft skin.

“Babygirl, remember no marks, I still have promotions.”

“Well then I guess you will need to punish me” you whisper while looking at a red patch on his neck that is already turning darker.

Chan then lowers himself and positioned him between yours legs. Teasingly, he peels off your panties and the cold air hitting your wetness makes your moan.

“Please Chan. Do something.”

He beings to eat you out. He sucks and nips at your clit enjoying the way you squirm and whimper under him. But a couple minutes into this.

“Changbin messed up the wires in the studio-“ Jisung bursts in. “.. again”. He’s wide-eyed at the sight. Your naked form arching and responsive to Chans touch. His face buried in-between your legs with his strong arms pinning down your hips. Chan looks up threatening and Jisung takes his leave out the door.

“You ok y/n?” Chan asked with a sigh and he would not continue. Chan always forgets about his job and stress during intimacy and Jisung bursting in would ruin the mood for him. He would help you get dressed before helping Jisung and Changbin with the wires. Of course he would talk to Jisung about what he saw and would make sure he locks the door next time.

Lee Minho

You were in Minho’s shared room and the boys left to give you guys some well-deserved privacy. You are sitting on his lap and hungrily kissing each other. With the TV still on and too preoccupied with each other, you guys did not realise that Felix and Jeongin didn’t get the memo and kept playing video games in their rooms.

“I want you so bad” Minho says whilst nipping at your collarbone.

You tug at his shirt and he quickly complies. His hands also roam your naked half and now fighting for dominance you kick off your jeans and peel off his sweat pants.

“I finally have you all to myself” you say whilst he flips you under him. His heart flips when he hears your possessiveness. He pushes a finger in and relishes in your responsiveness to his touch.

“So fucking tight. Has it really been that long?”

“Please” He smiles and grabs a condom from the night stand. You feel him teasing your entrance before slowly pushing in. Both moaning at the closeness.

“Hold on baby” he warnes and before you realise it he’s pounding into you and your legs try to hold on to his hips. He rests your left leg on his shoulder and maintains his fast speed. Your moans are partially drowned out by the TV but Jeongin and Felix are concerned, thinking maybe you were crying. So they burst in without knocking and panic at the sight of your fucked out face and Minho pounding your body.

“Get the fuck out” Minho growls whilst buried in you and pulling the blanket on your form to protect you from their view. The boys gulp and run out the dorm, traumatised.

You were dazed from being fucked so you don’t fully comprehend what happened but Minho would continue fucking and probably be glad when he hears the boys slamming the front door. He would be salty like very upset because he thought that they definitely heard you and thought they wanted to see you guys fuck. He would not buy the excuses and you would need to reassure him.

Seo Changbin

It is 10pm and you and changbin are alone in the recording studio. You were sitting on the couch and on your phone waiting for changbin to finish so you guys can go back to the dorm. You love changbin with all your heart but he can be so stubborn.

“Just leave it overnight so you can get some new ideas tomorrow.” You try to convince him.

“But this isn’t perfect.” His frustration apparent.

You go over to him and start kissing his neck.

“Baby. Is you rest now you will think better later” he always listened to your advice and it was probably something the boys loved you for. He turns around and pulls you on his lap.

“I’m sorry for neglecting you baby” he whispered.

“You’re not though.” Reassuring him.

Your light grinding turns him on and before you know it, you feel him poking your inner thigh.

His chair was very expensive so he didn’t really want to get it dirty. So he carries you to the couch you were just on and position you on top of him.

“Ride me Jagi, I know you want it.” The thrill of fucking in the studio was always something you wanted to do. Him focusing on music producing was so attractive in your eyes.

Both of you are still clothed, because you can’t be fucked to get dressed after. So you take off your panties and push your skirt up whilst he pushes down his sweat pants to expose his member standing straight up.

You’re on birth control so it’s not your first time doing it raw. You line up your entrance and sink down deliciously down on his member. He throws his head back at your tight wet walls and let you bounce on him. His hand rests on your hips and guide your movements whilst trusting up.

Chan walks down the hallway of the studio intending to tell Changbin to take a break and go back to the dorm. But he walks in out you riding him and he is fed up. Poor Chan just wanted you guys to rest and he is low-key disjusted.

You and Changbin were embarrassed. You buried your head in his neck and sit there with his hardness still in you. You guys end up stopping but your blow him so that he can relieve himself and you guys would sneak back into the dorm and ignoring the disappointment from Chan.

Hwang Hyunjin

Hyunjin comes over to your shared apartment at around 4pm after his training on Friday. They just finished promotions and JYP gave them the weekend off to just chill. So Hyunjin takes this opportunity to spend the night at your apartment which is only around 20 minutes away from their dorm. So Hyunjin picks up some snacks at the store and you prep the movie and game night.

Its around 5 and Hyunjin realises he forgot his phone charger. He texts Seungmin and asks if they could deliver it to him when they go out to eat tonight. Seungmin texts back that they will go out to a resturant near your apartment soon but it quickly slips his mind when you start blowing Hyunjin on the couch.

Your warm mouth wrap around him and slowly bob your head. Hyunjin fed up by this takes control.

“So this is how you want to play Jagi” He flips you on your hands and knees and pulls down your sweat pants.

“Take off your shirt” hyunjin growls and you quickly take off his shirt you were wearing.

“No bra? My baby was ready for me”.

“Please fuck me”

He is stark naked and rips the condom wrapper with his teeth before rolling it on. Hyunjin gropes your ass and teasingly stroking your lips. Groaning out of frustration Hyunjin takes the hint and thrusts his length in fully. It takes you time to adjust but Hyunjin begins movement quickly. Your hands are fisting the couch but the fabric keeps slipping so you end up strugglingly to take the pleasure.

However, the jingling from the spare key Hyunjin gave Chan unlocks the front door and Seungmin enters with Hyunjin’s phone charger. The sight makes seungmin scream which catches hyunjins attention and he shields your vulnerability from Seungmin. But seung already dropped the charger and quickly exited.

Hyunjin would want to continue fucking you but would make sure you were confortable and would be glad that it was only Seungmin that caught him because he wouldn’t tell the other members.

Han Jisung

Jisung was practising his dance in the dance studio and you would visit him and watch him dance while he messes around. This time he would want you to dance with him and hold your waist as you guys joked around.

“Baby lets pretend like we are rich!” And so he would hold your waist and ballroom dance. But the close proximity would have both of you guys flustered.

You were pressed against him and his lips attaching on your neck. Your moan hungers him more and so you end up turning around and pressing your lips against him. Both of you fight for dominance and you win briefly scoring your tongue to roam his mouth but when you break away slightly, his tongue starts dominating your mouth. His hard on is pressed against your stomach so you break away and lower yourself whilst staring right at him. You knew he had a thing for you on your knees so you look this time to slowly untangle the straps to his sweatpants and free his member.

You take it into your soft hands and start tracing his veins. Jisung is a mess and he feels like his knees are going to fail him anytime. You start with kitten licks on his tip whilst stroking his base. This frustrates him because he knows from experience that you’re going to drag him out. So when you wrap your lips around him, he takes control and pushes himself in, resting his hands on the back of your head.

“I know you can take me like a good girl.”

And with that you gag when his tip hits the back of your throat roughly. Changbin enters the dance room bored without thinking about knocking and is disgusted at the sight. Jisung scrambles to pull his pants up and you standup and brush yourself. But Changbin closes the door and like chan just wants to erase that memory.

Jisung would be hysterical because he would be sooo embarrassed that his hyung saw this side of him and would not continue and would take sometime for sex to return to normal.

Lee Felix

Felix is a little weird. He’s shy but confident at the same time. So when you guys are playing games in the living room of the dorm at 4am and the other boys are in deep sleep it was a risky situation to fuck.

But that was the exact situation you were in. Felix kissing your jaw whilst fondling your breasts in his small hands. He is topless whilst you’re naked and he positions you on top of him. You’re confused by this because he still has his shorts on.

“Ride my thigh.” You begin to rock your body back and form and his hands are focused on your breasts. He enjoyed seeing how affected you were when he pinched your nipple or flexed his thigh.

But what he enjoyed most was when he edged you.

As you feel your orgasm creep up and Felix knows, he notices the way your legs twitch and close and how your hands grip onto anything you could. So Felix lifts you up and flips you on your back. Whilst he pulls down his shorts and rolls on your condom.

“I was so close why did you stop me” you whisper loudly angry and with tears in your eyes.

“To prepare you for this” Felix answers and he thrusts his wrapped member around you.

You bit your hand to prevent screaming and he maintains a slow and steady pace. It’s slow enough for you to beg for more but fast enough to feel the pleasure.

Except as you feel like you were about to come, Hyunjin walks to the kitchen to get himself a glass of water. He doesn’t hear you and you don’t hear him but when he walks into the living room to see how you were still awake. But poor boy almost drops his water as he walks in on you guys. You see him first because Felix’s back is to him. But you yell out and pull the blanket over you guys. Hyunjin would kind of just stand there and swear at you guys.

“Why the Fuck would you do this not the couch. We live here and use this couch.” Hyunjin would yell. Felix wouldn’t respond and just wrap both of you up.

“Go back to bed” Felix would angrily exclaim. Felix would be too shy to continue and would try to sleep it off.

Kim Seungmin

You are over at the dorm with Seungmin with the other boys still in the dorm. You guys have never had an issue with the boys because they always respected your time with Seungmin. You guys have had sex in the dorm with the boys before and they have never found out. Today was even better because Chan, Changbin, Jisung and hyunjin and Felix were in the studio working on a rap. So there weren’t many boys to disrupt you guys.

At first you were listening to Seungmin’s struggles with the new comeback and how stressed and empty he has been feeling recently.

“You are enough Seungmin. You always have been” you tell him to his face as you both sit on the bed. Seungmin feels his heart melting at your words. He always felt safe and happy with you.

“Thank you Jagi. I really needed that” You peck his lips softly and Seungmin grabs your face with his hands and returns with a deeper kiss. The kiss intensifies and he lays on top of you.The sensual feeling of his hands roaming your body and worshipping you like a doll had you so needy.

“Seungmin” you gasp rather loudly. He looks up and smiles at your fucked out expression. He prefers cute and caring girls but accompanying that he also has a corruption kink. So you being so pure usually but also being so needy in that moment gets him hard.

He teasingly strips you down naked and enjoy the sight of your needy expression. You sit up to kiss him and tug at his shirt and he takes it off. You run you hand down his v-line admiring his body. When seungmin takes off his pants, you position yourself on top and seung grabs a condom. You take the condom and put it on his member for him. Doing so drove him absolutely crazy.

“Use me Jagi” seungmin whispered. And without another second you line yourself but the moment you sink down on his dick. Minho bursts in-

“Have you seen Soonie? The orange one..” He stops when he looks at both of your naked forms. Seungmin quickly grabs the blanket to cover you but Minho spots soonie in the corner.

“I can’t believe my cat saw you fucking. You guys are disgusting” he would say jokingly but also dying on the inside from the sight he saw. Seungmin you probably put on a movie and snuggle with you to get both your mind off it and might laugh if off.

Yang Jeongin

You just got back to the dorm from shopping with Jeongin. Today was a free day and all the others went out either shopping or eating or playing. So when you guys got back to an empty dorm after you both teased each other in public, Jeongin would pounce on you. You guys would be kissing hungrily before he pushed you on to the bed.

“You thought you could be a fucking tease today and get away with it” he growled. And takes off your bra.

“So now you’re silent.” He laughs.

You decided to be more of a brat, “then show me.” And you wrestle his shirt off before licking a strip up his abs. Pushing you on the bed he removes your skirt and roughly pushes 2 fingers in.

“So wet baby. Did I do this” you nod finally succumbing to obedience. He fingers you to the point where his other hand had to press your stomach down to continue fingering you. You feel your orgasm crash over you. Your legs shaking and your hair messed around his pillow whilst you pant. Cheeks flushed, Jeongin would be so needy to fuck you roughly.He rolls on a condom whilst you calm down.

“You ok for my to continue” Jeongin asks still willing to show his soft side to you.

After you give your affirmative, he thrusts into you with your legs still shaking from that orgasm. Jeongin knows that you’re over stimulated and he loves how tight you are. As your nails dig into his shoulders to try to stop your body bouncing at every rough and fast thrust. Jeongin looks at your exposed neck and lightly wraps around your neck. This makes you moan louder and Jeongin would smirk at this.

“What a dirty girl, you’re tighter after I choked you”

“Im not” you say back.

But what you guys don’t know is that Cham came back with Jisung after grocery shopping. And they hear bed sqeaking and realise that it was jeongin and you.

“Should we-“ Jisung asked.

“Nah lets just pretend we didn’t hear this” and would leave the dorm with the bags and wait in the car. Poor Jisung.

#stray kids reactions #skz reactions #stray kids smut #skz smut #bang chan smut #minho smut #skz bang chan #skz minho #changbin smut #skz changbin #hyunjin smut #skz hyunjin #skz jisung #jisung smut #skz felix #felix smut #skz seungmin #seungmin smut #skz jeongin #jeongin smut #stray kids x reader #skz x reader

[artificialqueens]

Hot as Hell and No A/C, Chapter 5 (Branjie) - Blackhighheels

(Read at AO3)

Five

Jose tilts his head back and lets the warm water wash over his face and hair, rinsing the shampoo off. For the last six days his showers have become progressively longer, but they help him relax. He gets in, lets the warm water fall down on him as he jerks off, then washes his body and his hair. He stays in the shower until the water turns cold. It’s not a morning ritual he had before, but definitely one he started after spending the night sleeping with Brock in his arms. Waiting until night falls to give into his fantasies isn’t enough anymore.

When Brock had rested his head on his shoulder, already half-asleep, Jose thought he’d have a heart attack. Never had anything felt as right as this move and he hadn’t been able to stop himself from pulling Brock closer.

Brock was exhausted, that much had been clear from the first moment he saw him and during their talks he had admitted that he rarely slept through the night.

But Brock had slept through the night, right there in his arms.

It had given Jose the opportunity to run his hands over his back and through his hair. Whenever Brock had started to fidget, he pulled him closer or  placed a soft kiss on his forehead. Jose had been able to shower him with tenderness that night, all the hugs and touches and kisses that Brock would never accept if he was awake.

It wasn’t even sexual, Jose hadn’t molested him or anything. It was only now, later, when Brock was long gone and Jose was left with the memories of how his body had felt under his fingers, how his weight had pressed him into the cushions and how he had been able to get lost in the scent of him the whole night, that he got aroused by the memories.

They’ve hung out since and still stack the shelves together every night, but Brock hasn’t come over since. Jose knows something must have happened when he came home, but Brock doesn’t say and he doesn’t want to ask.

Just a couple of hours, sometimes even just minutes with Brock is better than nothing at all and Jose reminds himself again to treasure the time they have. Because there’s only two more days and then Jose is going back to Los Angeles.

Jose always falls fast and hard, but he’s never fallen as fast or as hard for anyone as he has for Brock. If things were different, if they’d only stood a little chance, he’d gladly spend the rest of his days travelling out to this hell hole every chance he got to see his man and be with him. If he could be with Brock, he’d be willing to pretend, to hide and go back in the closet as long as he was in town. Brock is worth everything.

It’s madness to think it or say it after six weeks of platonic friendship, but Jose knows he is in love with him.

Just… there is no chance for them, no loophole or way. It isn’t only that Brock’s family and this shitty town could never accept that Brock is gay. Brock also isn’t really accepting the fact and still feels shame and the wrath of some scary god. That’s not something Jose can change. If he talks him into anything, Brock will reject him for it one day.

Jose loves him, but it means letting him go and letting him make his own decisions. If Brock ever comes out and if he ever wants to live his truth, Jose will make sure before he leaves that Brock knows where to find him.

Until then he can fight his longing by jerking off to phantasies, grasp at every second of friendship he can get and prepare himself for the inevitable goodbye.

Jose hopes that things will get easier  once he’s gone from this god forsaken town and this fucking heat.

***

”Hey, stop it, idiot!” Brock laughs and pushes the package of beef jerky back onto the shelf. Each time they have to re-stock the beef-jerky, Jose takes the whole packages and throws them in the bin, a mischievous grin on his face the whole time. Brock knows already how this argument will go, they’ve been around that tree a couple of times.

”This is disgusting! It should be forbidden! Banned! Outlawed! This is against the PETA- constitution of rights!” Jose declares and grasps for the package again.

”You don’t have to eat it. But not everyone is a vegetarian,” Brock points out.

”Pescatarian, bitch!” The sassy looks Jose gives him over his shoulder gives Brock time to push the package back onto the shelf.

”Sit! Behave!” he tells him and knows that’s just what Jose has been waiting for. He grabs a can of soda and sits down on the chair, watching as Brock puts the last two boxes on the shelf. When he’s done, Jose has a cold drink ready for him too. ”So, did Thackery finally tell you where he put your earring?”

”Yes, the little fucker did! I found it in his bed under his pillow.”

”He has a bed? And a pillow?” Brock chuckles.

”Of course! A little kitty bed and a little kitty pillow. He naps on it during the day and then shares my bed at night. He loves to cuddle.”

”You let the cat sleep in your bed?”

”Hey, don’t tell me you don’t do it! The way you talking about that kitten of yours, I’m sure he’s no stranger to your bed either.”

”Only when it was too cold for him to sleep outside in the barn,” Brock admits reluctantly and also lies a bit.

”Haha! I knew it! Sucker!” Jose guffaws and slaps Brock’s thigh. Brock laughs with him.

”Uncle Brock! Uncle Brock!” Rachel suddenly bursts into the store through the back entrance and Brock jumps up in blind panic. This is it. He’s been caught.

”Rachel what is it?” Jose speaks up when Brock can’t find his voice to ask and just opens and closes his mouth like a fish.

”Momma is having the baby and she needs you to drive her to the hospital. Like now!” Rachel yells excitedly.

”My car’s still broken,” is all Brock can come up with.

”That’s why momma says to ask Vanjie if he’ll drive us, dummy,” Rachel rolls her eyes like it’s the most obvious thing.

”Sure, come on,” Jose gets up and quickly gathers his things. It gives Brock a moment to collect himself, while Rachel has run off as soon as Jose agreed.

”You’re here because you needed cat food, right?” Brock whispers as he locks the store.

”Yes. It’s a real great ass alibi. Don’t worry.” He reassures him. Ada and Rachel are already waiting by the car and the girl helps her mother in when Jose unlocks it.

”Who’s gonna watch the other kiddos?” Jose asks Brock.

”Rachel. She’s gonna stay here.”

”But she’s just a baby herself.”

”She’s used to it and I guess they’re all asleep. Dance is really the only time she gets for herself. Ada needs her help. There’s just too many of them.” Brock climbs into the passenger’s side. ”Hey, sis. Ready to become a mommy?” he asks her.

”Again,” she smiles a pained smile.

”Again. It’s still a bit early huh?”

”Just two weeks. I’m glad once it’s over. Bedrest isn’t for me.” She says as Jose slowly pulls out onto the street. ”Thank you for driving us, Jose. I wanted Brock to call you, but Rachel said you’re parked outside anyway.”

”Yeah, I needed some cat food for my little man Thackery. I’m still not used to shops not being open 24/7, ya know?” Jose is perfectly innocent and Brock relaxes a bit when he sees the performance.

”Thank god, for your cat. I think this will be a quick one.” Ada groans a moment later and Jose glances at Brock with panic in his eyes.

”Mami, you better not have that kiddo in my car. Porsche doesn’t have the same ring to it as Ferrari or Bentley for a name,” Jose says and manages to make even the woman in labor laugh.

***

The birth isn’t as quick as Ada hoped. Shortly before noon Vanjie decides to drive home to get some fresh clothes and shower, but also to get some food for Brock and himself. Ada asks him to check if the kids are at school.

Brock knows that Jose would never say no to the requests, but also reminds him before he leaves, that he shouldn’t feel obligated.

For the next coupe of hours Brock stays with his sister and keeps her husband up to date on the progress.

”Hey there Miss Ada,” Jose is back around three in the afternoon and leans against the doorway with a sheepish smile.

”Hey,” Ada smiles weakly. She’s exhausted and barely got any sleep since last night. ”Come in.”

”Ya sure? Don’t wanna see no parts your husband will beat me up for,” Jose jokes but slowly walks in.

”All covered,” she reassures him. ”Everything alright at home?”

”Yeah, Rachel got them all to school and I talked to the neighbor like you said and she keeps them fed and watered until you’re back.”

”Thank you so much,” Ada smiles and takes Jose’s hand. ”Why don’t ya take my little brother here for a walk and get something to eat? They gonna check on me in a couple of minutes anyway.”

Jose looks questioningly at Brock. ”Let’s go Uncle B?”

”Yeah, let’s go,” Brock realises how long he sat in that chair when he gets up and has to stretch to make his arms and legs function again. ”You call me when you need me, ok?” he tells his sister and follows Jose outside.

”Brought you some food, but I didn’t wanna bring it into the room. Wasn’t sure if she’s allowed to eat.” Jose picks up a large paper back that smells suspiciously like Asian food.

”Thank you.” He simply tells him once more. They find a  spot at a table outside and Jose finds the stir fried rice and duck Jose has brought for him.

”How much longer do ya think it’ll take?” Jose asks him over a fork full of rice and prawns.

”I don’t know. One can’t really predict these things. She’s nearly fully dilated though, so it shouldn’t be much longer.”

”Child, I didn’t need that kinda picture in my head about ya sister’s private parts.” Jose actually shudders which makes Brock laugh. ”You ever watched it, ya know, when your little nieces and nephews were born?”

”I was in the delivery room with her twice so far, but I always kept my eyes above the shoulders, if that’s what you want to know.” Brock chuckles.

”Her husband still on the road?”

”Yeah, he’s on his way back now, but it’ll take him a couple of days.”

”That’s good. She needs some help with the kids and the store.”

”Hey, she seems to put you to work now too. Wait, you’ll be slaving away at the store in no time,” Brock laughs and tries to imagine Vanjie behind the counter of the store, dealing with the people of the town on the regular.

”I’d even volunteer, but, ya know, I’m leaving tomorrow in the early morning. Gotta go back to L.A.”

Brock feels like the ground has been ripped from underneath his feet. ”Tomorrow?” he croaks and the hand that hols his fork drops to the table.

”Yeah, my time’s up. Workshop is over.” Jose shrugs, but his eyes are sad.

”I didn’t think… I didn’t realise it’s already been this long.”

”I know, me neither,” Jose gives him a shaky smile. ”Ya now, you got my number. If you ever… wanna come and visit or talk or… please call.” Brock can only nod, because he’d burst into tears if he spoke. ”Imma miss you.” Jose adds and cover’s Brock’s hand with his. Brock nods again.

Their eyes meet and the looks between them say more than Brock ever could. There’s an understanding, an awareness of the situation, of the things said and the things unspoken.

Brock slowly pulls his hand away, scared that someone mights see. ”We should finish eating and then get back.” He’s not hungry anymore, but it gives him something to focus on, other than trying not to fall apart.

”That little sucker better hurry up, ‘cause I wanna meet them before I leave,” Jose tries to joke again, but it falls flat, neither laughs or even smiles.

***

When they get back, they are informed that things have progressed rather quickly and that even though they were just gone for an hour, the new addition to the family is already here.

”Go in, go meet them!” Jose is excited and pushes Brock towards the door.

”Hey Ada, can I come in?” he asks after knocking and finds his sister sitting in bed with her baby in her arms.

”Of course. Sorry, I didn’t call. Suddenly he couldn’t wait anymore. Where’s Vanjie?” she asks.

”Here,” Jose head pops up behind Brock, who is still standing in the open door.

”Come here. Meet Noah,” she smiles at Jose, who hurries past Brock to get a closer look at the baby.

”Aw, Brock! Look! Look! He’s so cute! And you named him Noah. That’s like the best name!” Jose gushes and wipes away a tear.

”You’re a fan of the ark story as well?” Ada smiles.

”More of the Notebook story,” Jose chuckles and Brock realises he must be talking about another movie.

”You wanna hold him?”

”Me?” Jose squeaks and makes them laugh. ”I can’t. Never held a baby in my life. I’d squish him.”

”You’re gonna be just fine,” Ada tells him and slowly places the baby in his arms. Jose holds little Noah like a bomb and Brock reaches over to quickly adjust his hold on him.

”You gotta pay attention to the head. They can’t hold it on their own yet,” He tells him and looks down at his newest nephew. ”He looks like Rachel when she was born.”

”Yeah he does,” Ada agrees with him.

Jose slowly relaxes and when he turns his head, looks over his shoulder up at Brock and their eyes meet, there’s a large smile on his face.

”I’m holding a baby!” he proclaims proudly and seems to grow a couple of inches right in front of Brock’s eyes. He’s so proud of his achievement and it’s the cutest thing Brock has ever seen, not even his new-born nephew comes close.

”I can see that,” Brock beams back at him. God, he loves him.

He loves him.

He’s in love with him, Brock realises as they smile at each other, Noah nestled safely in Jose’s arms.

”He must like you. He’s asleep,” Ada brings them back to reality, like Brock’s big epiphany didn’t just rock his word. He, Brock, is in love with Jose. This is not about attraction or a flirt. This is love.

”Then I better hand him back to ya before he gets too attached,” Jose smiles and gives the baby back to Ada. ”So, y’all… I gotta go. I still have to pack and clean and shit. Get some sleep. I’m leaving tonight or early morning.”

”Oh that’s too bad. You’re coming back next year?” Ada asks him.

”Nah, Jason’s back is better and he cashed his cheque with me. Who knows what Imma do next year this time.”

”Rachel will miss ya.”

”She’s got my number, she can call, you can all call and visit. Don’t forget me, Miss Ada,” Jose says and gives her a careful hug.

”How could we?” Ada replies.

”Brock you wanna ride back with me?”

Brock absolutely wants to, but after his big revelation it’s better if he’s not alone again with Jose. He doesn’t know what he would say or do and the fact still stands that Jose is leaving and not coming back.

”My parents are on their way here and I’ll ride back with them. Thanks for the offer though,” he declines, even though it’s killing him.

”Ok then,” Jose looks disappointed, but still smiles. ”Gimme a hug, big guy.”

When Brock does, he is aware that his sister is watching them. While Jose hold him tightly, he tries to keep some semblance of it being just a friendly hug goodbye. It doesn’t matter that he never wants to let him go. ”Take care of yourself, boo. Eat, sleep, don’t let them get to ya. You’re right the way god made you and don’t let anyone tell ya anything else,” Jose whispers in his ear.

”You too. Drive safely, Jose.” Jose’s lips brush softly and discreetly against Brock’s cheek as they break apart.

When Jose walks out of the room with one last small wave, Brock bites his lip and prays he can keep the tears at bay until he’s alone.

***

”Brock?” His sister snaps him out of his daze. He’s still staring at the closed door, unable to move. All he can focus on is breathing.

”Mmh?” he makes without turning around. How would he explain being this upset over Rachel’s dance teacher leaving? A man he pretends he barely knows.

”Come here,” Ada tells him quietly and holds out her hand, while she holds Noah with the other. ”What’s going on?” she asks him when he sits on the side of her bed, his eyes focussed on his nephew.

”What do you mean?”

”Brock, I know.”

He looks up at her face and has no idea what she is talking about. ”Know what?”

”I know,” she repeats and her eyes seem to bore into his. ”I know about the ice-cream and take away after dance class. And I know he helped you at the store every night. I know, Brock.”

”We’ve become friends, Ada. I know I’m not supposed to hang out with him, but… we’re friends.” It’s the truth, nothing has happened.  Other than him falling in love with Jose, but Ada doesn’t need to know about that.

”But you’re in love with him.”

”How can you say that?Ada! That’s not right! I’d never…” he gets upset and little Noah starts stirring in his mother’s arms. Brock knows lying is a sin, but being gay is an even bigger one. They can’t know, no one can know!

”Brock, I’m your sister and I know you. I know you’re gay. I’ve suspected it for a while, but there was never a reason to say anything. I know you’re in love with Vanjie and if Rachel is right, like she usually is, then he likes you, too.”

”Rachel…” Pure panic spreads through him.

”Calm down. She’s only ten but she understands what’s at stake here. I talked to her and she won’t say anything to anyone.”

”But why?” Brock gasps. ”It’s wrong!”

”Love is never wrong, little brother. I believe in god and the lord and I pray. But my god and the one we get scared with by our parents and the idiot minister, are not the same. I might not have gone to college and I might never leave this town, but as soon as I had my first baby, I knew that there’s something wrong with what we’ve been told. You don’t  raise your kids with fear and threats and punishment. You love them. No matter who they love. And the same goes for my brother.” They are both crying at this point and Brock hugs his sister tightly. It’s done, it’s out, and he won’t lose her because of his biggest secret.

”Thank you,” he sobs and tries to wipe away the tears when Noah starts protesting.

”So, what are you gonna do?” Ada asks him again, once she has dried her own face.

”There’s nothing I can do. We’re not… we’re really just friends. He’s leaving and there’s nothing for him here. Like, I can’t leave. And I can’t stop being me. I can’t disappoint everyone around me and lose my family. Mom and dad will never talk to me again and I’ll be all but dead to Dan and Lilly. I’ve gone so long living with this secret, that I just can’t…. It doesn’t feel right to me.”

”But you’ve always been so unhappy, Brock. I guess, I just wanna see you happy for once. And with him you were.”

”Sorry,” he shrugs and smiles a bit.

”You’re really gonna let him go like this? Why can’t you be selfish for once? Do what you want, what makes you happy?”

”You think being happy for one night is worth all that comes afterwards? The doubts and fear?”

”How’s that different from what you’re living now? You live your life for others, for all of us and you’re unhappy all the time. If you have a chance of happiness, even if it’s just for a short while, then take it! Maybe he won’t stay, you’re right, but you gonna miss him anyway. If you go to him and just… even if you’re just spending the night as friends together and nothing more happens, then at least you’ll have that one happy memory, that will make your burden a bit lighter.”

”When did you get so wise, sis’?” Brock asks and leans into her, seeks comfort in her embrace.

”I’m your big sister. I’ve always been wise, you just never listened,” she teases him. A moment later the door opens and their parents and Rachel walk in. The moment is over. But Brock has a lot to think about until they get home.

***

”Brock? What are you doing here?” Jose looks as surprised as he sounds when he opens the door.  He has changed and is now wearing sweatpants and a tank-top.

”Hey, uhm, like, can I come in?” he mutters and points to a spot past Jose’s shoulder.  Jose just steps aside, seems too stunned to say more and lets him into the apartment.

”You packed,” Brock points out when he looks around. Two large suitcases are standing by the bedroom door and the apartment has been cleaned from top to bottom. A backpack on top of the suitcases is open and some clothes lie neatly folded on the living room table.

”Yeah, like I said, I just wanna grab a bit of sleep and then go.” Jose rocks back and forth on his feet before he follows Brock further into the room. ”Everything ok with Ada and little Noah? You need me to drive you to the hospital again?”

”No, I mean, yes, they’re ok,” Brock shakes his head and tries to gather the courage he needs. ”I’m here because… like… I…” Why is it so hard to find the words to say what he wants to say? Jose knows more about him than any other person, so why can’t he tell him what he wants now? Time is running out and he has to… Just…. Jose waits patiently and with a look between curiosity and fear.

Finally, Brock cups his face with his hand, sees Jose’s eyes widen even more, and then slowly leans in. He gives Jose time to pull away or stop him, but when he doesn’t, Brock kisses him.

Jose gasps softly and pulls him closer a moment later. With a moan Jose deepens the kiss and Brock’s eyes close. This is the kiss he dreamed of so many times when he lay awake at night or when he allowed himself to think of Jose during the day. Every time he was close to him, but he didn’t allow himself to have this. Brock feels heat curling in his gut when Jose opens his mouth and their tongues touch.

Jose fits so perfectly into his arms, and the way he kisses is like nothing Brock has ever experienced. He is amazing and Brock needs more, lets his hands wander underneath Jose’s wide shirt. His skin is warm, nearly feverishly hot and so soft.

Brock has no idea how long they just stand there kissing while he is running his hands over Jose’s back and chest. When he tries to pull the shirt up and over his head, Jose stops him and breaks the kiss.

”Babe, I can’t…” he is panting. ”I need to know what’s going on,” Jose requests breathlessly and gives him another quick kiss, before he takes Brock’s hand and leads him to the sofa.

Brock is turned on and slightly frustrated that they have to talk, now, and can’t just do what he knows they both want. Yet, he knows he owes Jose an explanation.

”I…I know you’re leaving and I’m not here to stop you, because you should get out of here and go back to your life in L.A. But like…I like you and I…. I just wanna know what it’s like to be with someone I…. I like care about… just once. And I hope you don’t mind or feel used or, you know. But, like, you kissed me first and… please, let me have this before I lose you tomorrow.”

He’s begging.

Jose listens and nods, holds his hand as Brock rambles. He looks down to their joined hands once Brock is done and watches as he plays with his finger. ”Is this your first time?” Jose asks when he looks back up.

”No. I’ve hooked up with random guys in gay bars and clubs before. But I’ve never… not with someone I know, or in a bed or….” He trails off.

Someone I love, he wants to say, but it would be too much. He isn’t here to talk Jose into staying or an impossible relationship, even though he wants to fall to his knees and beg him not to leave him.

He can’t do that to him. Jose deserves the world and there is nothing for him here.

”If we do this, saying goodbye will be so much harder,” Jose points out and Brock can see the tears in his eyes.

”I know,” he agrees and feels himself getting choked up as well. ”But…”

Before he can go on Jose has closed the gap between them and kisses him again. Brock can taste the salty tears on his lips and licks them away as Jose climbs into his lap and wraps both arms around his neck.  Desire clouds Brock’s mind and he gets dizzy with want. His hands are back under Jose’s shirt and his time he gets to take it off. Jose groans in protest when he breaks the kiss, but then cocks his head to the side when Brock kisses down his neck and to his chest and as far down as he can reach with Jose still sitting on his lap. This is something Brock has never done, has never gotten the chance to: simply kiss someone’s skin, taste it, nibble on it. He has sucked dick, but there was never any tenderness in it, only the chase of making the other come as fast as possible.

”Let’s go to the bedroom,” Jose makes him look up by tugging gently on his curly hair. He gets up and holds out his hand to Brock. When he takes it, he leads them to the bedroom.

The bed is unmade on one side and Brock realises that Jose was already in bed when he got here.

”You were already asleep.”

”I was in bed, not asleep. And this is so much better,” Jose smirks and pulls Brock’s shirt over his head.

”Yeah?” Brock’s breath hitches when Jose touches his naked skin. Slowly and in random patterns Jose’s hands glide over his chest and stomach, tickling and arousing at the same time. Brock bites his lip as he watches him, scared he’ll make too much embarrassing noise otherwise.

”Yeah,” Jose finally replies and wraps his arms around Brock’s neck again. ”Listen… you gotta talk to me when you don’t like something or if you wanna stop, ok? I’ll do the same. Wasn’t expecting this, you, here, tonight, so I’m not ready. Are you prepped?”

Jose’s blunt question makes Brock blush. No one has ever talked to him about what they were going to do, other than asking him if he had a condom. ”No, I, uhm, I always topped, you know, like the few times I actually…”

Jose smiles and kisses him softly. ”That what you wanna do tonight? I’m usually a bottom, but if you feel like doing something new… I don’t mind.”

”No, no that’s not…” Brock’s voice is barely above a whisper. ”I just wanna know what it feels like to make love and not fuck.”

Again Jose kisses him deeply. ”Then lean back, relax and Imma be back in a couple of minutes ok?” He pushes him down onto the bed, before he disappears into the living room and then comes back with a cosmetics bag. ”Here, place’em somewhere we can find them quick,” Jose smirks as he throws something at Brock, before he disappears behind the bathroom door. When Brock looks down, he’s holding condoms and lube. It makes him laugh.

The next twenty minutes are both the longest and the shortest of Brock life. He’s impatiently waiting for Jose, still aroused and nearly out of his mind when he remembers their kisses. But he’s also nervous. He doesn’t want to fuck up and disappoint Jose. If this is the only chance he ever gets at being with the man he loves, Brock wants to cherish it and make it the best night it can be for both of them. So that maybe, sometimes, when Jose is back in L.A. and with other guys, he will remember their night as well.

Maybe he won’t forget him as quickly.

Thackery keeps Brock company as he waits for Jose. But when he comes out of the bathroom, the cat seems to sense he’s in the way and retreats back to the living room.

”You still sure?” Jose asks as he climbs back in Brock’s lap.

”Still sure,” he confirms before they kiss again, naked chest agains naked chest.

If Brock really thought Jose expects any kind of performance of him, he was wrong. Because Jose takes the lead right away. He’s not bossy in a bad way, but taking care of him with incredible tenderness. There’s no inch of skin Jose doesn’t kiss, no scar he doesn’t want the whispered short story about how it happened, before he soothes the long forgotten pain with his lips and tongue.

Jose keeps talking, whispering about how much he loves Brock’s body, how sexy he finds his abs, how much he’s wanted to play with his chest hair, how he dreamed about being wrapped in his arms, how soft the skin of his stomach is and how much he wants to suck his cock. He talks about his eyes, his mouth, his tongue and his ass. When he stops talking to finally taste him, Brock nearly comes.

To cool down, Brock#s allowed to explore Jose’s body and he does so with the same tenderness. He loves him, there is no question about it.

Brock has to remind himself to memorise every second, every gasp and every feeling, when he finally slides into Jose.

”Slow,” Jose instructs, wraps his legs around him and pulls him into another kiss. Brock moves – slowly – as they get lost in each other. Brock feels an emotion that he can’t identify. He’s never felt anything like this before. Bliss? Love?

Their movements get faster and the kisses sloppier as they get closer to the end. Jose groans and gasps as he digs his fingers into Brock’s shoulders and waist. He’s loud, gets louder when Brock wraps his hand around his cock to bring him over the edge. Jose explodes with loud moans and spills hot and wet over Brock’s fingers, his own stomach and chest.

”Brock, baby… yes…please,” Jose encourages him and with a couple more thrust Brock comes as well.

They pant into each others mouths, kiss and smile. Both of them are sticky with sweat and cum, but neither wants to move. Brock nuzzles his nose into Jose’s neck as he holds him, presses kisses to his hair and playfully bites his ear form time to time to make him laugh.

”So this is what it feels like.” Brock speaks quietly into Jose’s skin, still lying on top of him minutes later.

”Yeah, this is what it feels like.” The wonder in Jose’s voice surprises Brock, but he doesn’t comment on it. Instead he kisses the side of his neck.

They lie there, mostly in silence. Sometimes they kiss, sometimes they touch and sometimes they just enjoy the moment.

Until the alarm on Jose’s cellphone goes off.

Their dream is over, it’s back to reality.

They exchange one more longing kiss, before Brock gets up and takes care of the condom while Jose shuts off the alarm.

They get dressed.

They don’t shower.

They rip the sheets off the bed.

They don’t talk.

Jose packs the rest of his things and Brock keeps Thackery company.

There’s no more words needed. With each minute they get closer to goodbye, the more panicked Brock feels.

He helps Jose with his bags, puts Thackery in the car and closes the door on the passengers side.

”Give me another hug,” Jose asks, his voice is breaking and full of tears. Brock hugs him so tightly that he fears he might hurt him, but Jose hugs him back just as fiercely. ”Brock….” Jose sniffs.

”Go! Live your best life in L.A.” Brock interrupts him. ”Have fun, be happy. Thank you for everything. I can’t… I’ll never,” Brock’s own tears make it impossible to continue.

Jose pulls back first. He gives Brock’s arm a squeeze, waves at him with a sad smile from behind the wheel and then drives off, the tail lights of his fancy car the last thing Brock sees of him, while the sun slowly rises and lights the darkness of the night.

”Brock, come on, man, at least wait inside until ya get a grip. You can’t be seen like this in this fucking town,” Jason’s worried voice comes from behind, when Jose’s car can’t be seen anymore. He leads him into the dark dance studio, where the hot sticky air is no less suffocating than the pain that fills Brock’s chest. The A/C is still broken, not that anyone cares at the moment. Brock cries until he can’t anymore, then he wipes his face with the wet washcloth Jason hands him.

He leaves.

Goes back to his parent’s farm where his real life awaits him.

It’s over.  Brock hates his fucked up life even more now.

Because Jose is gone.

TBC

#rpdr fanfiction #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #branjie #m/m au #slow burn #romance #angst #smut #hot as hell and no ac #blackhighheels #tw religion #tw internalized homophobia

[spiteandalice]

Judas Touch Pt 5

Sincerest apologies for my scatterbrain. Whenever I sit down to write this my brain goes BUT WHAT IF DAUNTLESS WERE WEREWOLVES! WRITE THAT! Or I get ideas for the second story which is actually my first that I never continued past the basic outlines. 

SMUT warning, language warning and also violence warning because this character has a lot of violent thoughts.

tagging, as per request: @beautifulramblingbrains @beltz2016

PART ONE PART TWO PART THREE PART FOUR Fuck Eric and his stupid face. Fuck Max. Fuck the fucking infirmary and all the wretched staff. They conspired against me and that is so not appreciated. I fell asleep on the ride back and when I woke up I was in the infirmary. Handcuffed to a cot and sedated. For my own good. The second I get out of these cuffs I will be leaving a trail of limbs behind all the way to the leadership offices.

Lucy, my nurse who is most definitely strung out on Amity serum, comes in with that chipper smile and bounce in her step that instantly sets my teeth on edge. She is the one that informed me that they had to run some tests before giving me a healing serum or anything other than small doses of the harmless painkillers half of our faction eats like candy. Because, you see, I had unprotected intercourse and could be pregnant.

For that alone I will cut off his balls with a rusty butter knife.

“Doing good I see. We will get you some good food in a bit, you need more nutritious meals in your diet after what you've been through, especially given the circumstances.”

She smiles at me as if we were best friends talking about our crushes during a sleepover. If she tries to braid my hair or paint my nails I will put her head through the nearest wall.

“But first, you have a visitor. Quite a few, actually, but you're supposed to rest. Can't send Max away though so he'll be in shortly.”

“I think we should take that rest thing very seriously, don't you think. Just have someone shoot everyone that tries to disturb me. Even better, just give me my gun.”

That giggle is the most terrifying thing I have ever heard and I have heard my own bones break.

Unfortunately my suggestion fell on deaf ears, because Max strolls in minutes later, looking like the pompous ass that he is. They have some strange birds out in Amity that are strutting around as if they owned the place and I named the fattest of them Max. They roasted him during my last ambassador visit and he was rather tasty.

“Mina, it is good to see you are up….” Max has one of those faces that seem completely blank at times, making it a bitch to read for me. But he looks at my cuffed wrist and chuckles, that isn't hard to decipher. Dauntless men are a bunch of sexist pigs. “Eric enjoyed that a little too much.”

“Yeah, wait until I get out of here, he will find that even more enjoyable.”

Our grand leader raises an eyebrow at me and instantly makes me feel like a child throwing a tantrum, which I can ignore like a pro. I was raised by the most intimidating bitch this faction has seen before I came along, he has nothing on that. Max strolls over to the tiny window with his hands clasped behind his back, something I feel he would have picked up from an old book if I thought he was truly capable of reading. We are not the brainy faction and reading is somewhat of a shameful little vice people do behind closed doors - funny, because I can’t count all the semi-public blowjobs I’ve walked past in my years here.

“I realize that I shouldn't have sent you out so soon, so part of this mess is on me. You were absolutely reckless and ill prepared to deal with surprises. Never, ever go out on a mission without your phone, Mina, that's one of the first things we teach our fledgling soldiers. You need a way to contact us at all times in case the radio fails. How you didn't think about having one of your team get back to us… it shows me that you aren't fully ready to lead our groups out there.”

I open my mouth, ready to start the angry retorts, but he holds up his hand.  Without even fucking looking at me, how creepy is that?

“However… you handled yourself well, given the circumstances. All of yours came back relatively unharmed. Which, of course, is a testament to their training as much as your leadership. I realize that you have been through a lot lately, which is why you will continue to focus on our initiates for now. It will take two days for the test results to come back, you will rest until then. We will decide how to proceed after we have news on your… status. Although, to be honest, it's about damn time. The new ruling was passed just around the time you disappeared so we cut Eric some slack, but since you are back, well.  That saves us some time.”

I'm not often speechless but I'm positively dumbstruck. What the actual fuck? He is the one who sent me on this supposedly easy trip. Just days after I got back from being tortured and all that fun shit. Now he's telling me I'm not fit to do my job? That is rich. And not one word about the patron saint of sanctimonious assclowns who decided that I was some fucking damsel in distress? That Nose has read way too many old books about knights and secretly virtuous bandits saving helpless womenfolk in need. And then… hold on.

“What new ruling?”

It is nearly impossible to look any more condescending than Max right now, but he seems to remember that I've only been back for a few days and can't possibly be up to speed on everything that has been going on.

“There's been talk about how to improve birth rates, they are low all across the board. It's now a prerequisite for leaders and higher ranking members of all factions to be married and have children. Ideally before they are chosen, which doesn't apply to those already holding a position when the ruling came to effect, of course. They have a certain time frame to find a suitable partner, which was suspended in Eric’s case due to his age and circumstances back then. And we made an exception for you for now since it's only a matter of time that you two make it official, especially if you really are pregnant already. Two birds, one stone.”

And with the most aggravating smug expression he drops some papers onto my bed and saunters away.

Yep, going to kill them. All of them. Slowly.

In what has to be one of the most amateur moves of the century Max actually left stacks of paperwork held together by paperclips. I was born Dauntless, we handcuffed each other for fun in daycare to see who could get out the fastest.

So I am currently on my way to my alleged betrothed, head held high as I limp around the compound barefoot and bruised in nothing but sweatpants and a tank top. People move out of the way in spite of my pathetic appearance because hell hath no fury like a Dauntless woman on her way to smite patriarchy.

The raven haired chick that's supposed to be Eric’s assistant doesn't even bother to try and stop me so I make a point of remembering her name.  Raven, oh dear. But Raven shall receive a generous gift basket soon. Maybe we'll share it sitting on a pile of heads. She inclines her head towards the closed door and smirks at me, I can hear him snarl at someone. This should be good.

There is a certain beauty in the sound a door makes when it is opened so forcefully it ricochets off the wall, even more beautiful when it's accompanied by the various sounds of shock a group of five already intimidated grown men is capable of producing. I look them over and growl.

“Out. NOW!”

They scurry away like spooked little kittens before Eric can say anything to the contrary and I silently dare the little bastard to say something. To give me one more reason to fucking maim him. But he doesn’t, merely looks at me with that cold, slightly disgusted look of his he bestows on mortals. Asshole.

“You’re supposed to be in bed.”

“What did you say? You want me to crush your skull? That can definitely be arranged.”

As an afterthought I kick the door shut, I can at least pretend that we are trying to keep this quiet. At this point I don’t care if we do this in the middle of the Pit on a Saturday night, since everyone is up in my business already anyway.

“You’re acting like a fucking child.”

He is still sitting behind his desk, arms folded in front of him, looking strangely tense. Eric is always so nonchalant, even when he gets angry, but this is different. Not that he would like it if I let on to seeing the difference, he likes to be the unreadable one. The aloof leader. My ass.

Even though moving hurts, a lot, I manage to hobble to his desk and shove it towards him. It’s relatively solid, but I know that one of the legs on his side has been wobbly since I spent some time bent over the thing, it was shaking considerably. Luck is on my side and the leg breaks, sending his computer and neat stacks of paperwork flying.

Finally, a reaction.

Grinding his teeth hard enough for me to hear Eric slowly rises out of his chair and fixates me with his patented stare that is supposed to make me submit on the spot. All it does is annoy me, and make me a little wet. His nostrils flare, too.

Maybe a little more than a little wet.

“So when were you going to tell me about your little schemes, there, leaderboy? Do you honestly think you could trick ME into this shit? I don’t want to get fucking married and I don’t want to breed, for fuck’s sake. They can take their leadership position and shove it up their collective asses for all I care, I’d rather go back to listening to Amity’s crop problems.”

The computer screen crunches under his boot because he is too busy staring at me having my outburst. This is usually more fun when the other party actually responds though, and he’s beginning to creep me out. Without a word he grabs me and slams me against the door, I think we’ve been here before, not too long ago. My brain isn’t working properly right now. Might be the lack of oxygen because he’s got a hand over my throat, pressing down just far enough to make my vision a little blurry around the edges. Might also be because the blood flow to my brain has been slowed down in favor of sending more blood rushing through my nether regions.

“I'm not tricking you into anything. You neglected to take care of birth control so I informed them of that. And you might not give a shit about your position but if I want to keep mine I have to get married and at least pretend to adhere to the new rules. Matter of fact, Jeanine has suggested a few suitable  candidates I didn't bother to look at yet.”

Of course she did. Something inside me tries to protest at the idea of Eric marrying some dumb Dauntless bimbo for appearances. Truly a dumb move because at this point nobody would believe that he actually wants her, not after… this. Maybe he has a point. I will not admit that even if it would save my life. It is a fact that he can’t stand about 99.9% of the population of this city and that is a very generous number, all things considered. The thought of having to share a place with someone, even just for appearances, makes my skin crawl. Married people don’t live in separate apartments, do they?

“So you didn’t try to knock me up on purpose?”

My words sound squeaky since he is still trying to strangle me. Eric still looks angry but he raises an eyebrow at me and something about his face is completely off. It’s not anger, there are several shades of that everyone here is very familiar with. It’s not lust, either, although somewhere deep inside he would probably not object to fucking me right now. Not quite sad, either. Disappointed? Why would he be disappointed.

“So you really think I would trick you like that.”

Eric has a talent for making it sound like he is not asking questions and that he wouldn’t be interested in the answer if people still took it as one. But I am beginning to realize that he wants me to trust him. After all, I sleep when he is around, more or less. I’m naked. Granted, I have developed a habit of waking up with my gun in my hand, but that is a recent development. So me assuming the worst, just like everyone else would, is pretty much the opposite of what he expects of me.

“Excuse me for not being able to read your fucking mind, I will get right to practicing that.”

I do notice that the pressure around my throat eases just that little bit that makes all the difference between life and death and I gasp, desperate to take advantage of the once again relatively unrestricted airflow. But Eric still has that strange look and it bothers me more than it probably should, being a friend with undeniable benefits and all. I sigh and try to gather my wits.

“Look. I’ve been kidnapped and tortured. I come back to this clusterfuck, am made a leader and almost killed once more, excuse me for being in a mindset where expecting the worst is kind of the thing to do. It has nothing to do with you, Eric.” There it is, his face looks a little less miserable, but that glimmer of hope hiding behind the frown is almost worse. Definitely worse is the urge to protect that little spark at all cost. “And I guess you are the best choice for this marriage bullshit, out of everyone I hate you the least and your chances of surviving the first three months are pretty good. I’ll think about it, alright. I just… need to sort through shit.”

If I didn’t knew any better I’d think he looks relieved, but it is quickly replaced with his trademark smirk. “I can work with that…” His hand yanks down my sweatpants and much to both our surprise I am not wearing anything underneath. Who the hell undressed me in the infirmary? They sure got an eye full. The new underwear I bought is uncomfortable and I’ve always preferred going commando, as they say.

Coming back to my senses I push off the wall and shove Eric backwards until he is in his chair again, before I can straddle him he has his pants unzipped and is ready for me to slip onto him. Not a single sound can be heard from inside this room as I lower myself slowly, torturing both of us inch by inch until I am fully seated and Eric grabs my hips, trying to urge me to move. It’s always like this, fast and hard and relentless but maybe I’m in the mood for something new. If the guy can fucking spoon me all night he can let me have this moment.

And he does, even though I can see he doesn’t like it much, at least not until I dip my head to catch his bottom lip between my teeth and lightly tug on it. It gives him something to focus on and the bruising grip on my hips loosens a little when I suck on his tongue, Eric even groans, a strangled little sound but it’s there. Another follows when I begin to slowly roll my hips, not lifting myself up at all but grinding against him instead.He wraps both arms around me and I half expect him to try and take charge, which he could easily do given his clear physical advantage. Instead he just leaves them around me, holding on to me and steadying me at the same time. It’s kind of nice.

Somewhere outside people are talking in hushed voices but I only hear them as if I’m under water somewhere, distorted and distant. All my focus is solidly tethered to where we are joined, my tightening muscles and the feeling of my skin sliding against his in a slow, hypnotizing rhythm. The friction of coarse hair against my sensitive flesh is soon gone, soothed by sweat and the wetness pooling at the apex of my thighs whenever he just so much as raises an eyebrow at me.

Then his phone rings and he holds up his hand. Is he fucking serious?

“It’s Jeanine.”

Of course he is fucking serious. I watch, undoubtedly with my mouth wide open, as he picks the damn thing up and greets that witch, at least he has the decency to sound annoyed. Good, he is currently balls deep in his probably, maybe future wife.

“Eric. You still have not answered my message so i decided to be a little more proactive, after checking your schedule I saw that you have an opening right now. The most suitable candidate i personally picked should arrive at your office any moment…”

My eyes widen but before I can snatch the phone away eric blocks me with his free arm and scowls at me. In response I tighten my muscles and he hisses.

“No need for that Jeanine, you know that.”

Good boy. I begin to slightly rock my hips back and forth, thoroughly enjoying his grimace. And I am very much looking forward to his retaliation as soon as he gets off the phone.

“Please don’t tell me you are still hanging on to the foolish notion that that savage woman is a good match for you. If you think that you have to, given the circumstances, I can evaluate the test personally, I’ll have someone bring her samples up to me this instant. Even if she should be pregnant, we could…”

Within seconds Eric’s face switches from mildly annoyed to murderous.

“Don’t even say that. My answer has been, is, and will be no, no matter how often you bring this up. I am very happy to accommodate you on a professional level, but this concerns my private life and I decide who I marry, if I do and when.”

This man is a god and I don’t think I have ever liked him more than in this very second when he is telling my least favorite person in existence to shove her ideas up her ass. Which, considering how stuck up she is, should be ready to burst already with all the sticks up there. I grind my hips harder and Eric growls, but he is grinning at me.

The Matthews woman is going on about how, as a leader, he has a duty to his faction 24/7 and how the perfect match for him should reflect him in the best way possible but I can tell he lost all interest in the conversation a while ago.

“I’ll have to let you go, I am currently in a meeting with a very savage woman that is demanding my attention. Have your assistant contact my assistant about our next official meeting. I’m done with this bullshit.”

And he hangs up, drops his phone to the floor and gets up, all within seconds. I’m firmly wrapped around him and not sure if he’s grinning or snarling, but I don’t think even he is very sure about that.

“You fucking bitch”, he hisses and sends shivers down my spine, that man has a way with words that makes at least this savage woman swoon.

There is some rustling and crashing as he flings away things that have fallen off his toppled desk to make room on the floor, I may or may not be laughing about his urgency, but once he has me on the floor and the admittedly pretty loud sound of flesh slapping against flesh can be heard that laughing turns into barely muffled moans and it doesn’t take long before we both cry out in unison, muffled by each other’s necks, jaws locked and tender flesh caught between our teeth like two dogs fighting over a bone. We will be walking around with teeth marks, both of us, but that is nothing new. Maybe we can make that our form of engagement thing, most here get a tattoo when married and do a little trinket exchange before that to signal that they are off the market. I like this better, the skin on my neck an angry red, teeth indentations clearly visible, a little bit of blood trickling down.

When we stumble out of his office, both in a suspiciously good mood, me pulling up my pants, he just zipping up his, Raven sits behind her desk and bites into her fist, barely hiding her amusement. There is a girl, and she is really barely more than that, sitting on a chair waiting, wearing her best little dress and too much makeup. Eric looks her over and mutters a ”Hell, no.” that, embarrassingly enough, makes me giggle. Which, in turn, makes him smirk at me and slap my ass. I guess we’re doing that thing with touching in front of others now?

Raven leans forward and clears her throat. “Sir, I will call maintenance to have someone check your intercom since it doesn’t turn off anymore.”

I look at Eric, he looks at me. So… they could hear everything. Every muttered curse, every slap, every hiss. I shrug, he grins. I was born without the part of the brain that lets you feel embarrassment.

“Thank you, Raven. Take the afternoon off, clear my schedule.”

And with that he throws me over his shoulder and walks towards his apartment. Our apartment. For once I’m not inclined to protest, instead I practice my regal wave when he passes a group of gawking initiates.

PART SIX

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