#it fucks im not even gonna lie

[thou-babbling-brook]

assassin’s creed fans are wild because I just read a fic yesterday that had an accompanying BIBLIOGRAPHY in proper MLA format. nobody works harder than y’all fr fr.

#assassin’s creed #babblingbrook babbles #fanfiction #ac fanfic #it was ac valhalla based it was like Eivor x Basim #which is not usually my thing but I’ve been dying for Basim content #the fic is called ‘on the far side of our doom’ #it’s on ao3 #it fucks im not even gonna lie #the bibliography is a separate fic just look on the author’s account #I’m a psyc major so i use apa and i got my english and history double major friend to look at it #it is indeed in proper MLA format #bro Ubisoft needs to start hiring you guys as that shit is bonkers #imma start doing that (I am only half joking) #next time I write an ac3/turn crossover it’s over

[suburbanbonfire]

me as an intermission sports reporter: hey so like what the fuck

#what happened out there #can you tell me in simple words what the fuck im looking at #ouughhghhhhhhhhh didnt even watch overtime i knew where we were heading #gonna lie on the floor with my cat #while i question the existence of god and he tries to figure out what a washing machine is #we are the same #rambles

[fernsensei]

you're in love when you see the colours of the sky in their eyes

#trying colouring inbetween the suffering(tm) w/ my silly comics featuring them #im so fucking done i cant stand these two bitches anymore #its at least 5 more pages and that wouldnt even be the culmination AAAAAHHHHH #'it's gonna be a quick comic' she said 'it won't take long' she declared while the comic took her as for now almost a month #i hate drawing [continues to draw constantly] #i love the colours but oh what a pain it is to colour #<-lie #anyway. how are you #ultrakill #gabriel ultrakill #v2 ultrakill #gabv2el #gabriel/v2

[snipersfucker]

request from @infintyfandoms: Thought! Mirage is always so reckless, well what if one time he went too far and hurt his friend or s/o (either)?? I feel like he’d blame himself so bad - even if he was blind sighted by a distracted driver. Never drive crazy again or not drive around again or what??

angsty mirage x fem!reader times. thought of making it a headcanon thingy but nah. this one might need a warning that there are descriptions of serious injuries. and im also writing this on 0 hours of sleep thank you very much

A silver Porsche parked in front of the vinyl store you just walked out of was catching the attention of every passerby. Both men and women's eyes were stopping on the vehicle for a bit longer than they would on any regular car, their heads turning slightly to allow them to do that.

Mirage loved that. He loved transforming in different models everyday, the next one even more prestigious than the one before. Just to get that attention every single time.

You noticed a couple of teenage girls staring at your boyfriend, and even though you were fully aware they were doing so only because he was a good-looking car, you still rolled your eyes at it.

Your feet led you to the Porsche and you hopped in. Before getting the chance to point out the shameless staring of the group of teens, Mirage spoke up, "Whatcha got there?"

Your gaze had shifted to the vinyl case before you placed it down on the passenger's seat without much thought.

"Music," you responded casually in a light tone, putting your hands on the steering wheel, even though you knew Mirage would be doing the driving. "You got fans," you murmured under your breath but Mirage could obviously hear it. Your eyes landed on the girls again, and although you weren't particularly jealous, you still didn't appreciate it too much.

"Hell yeah, I do, baby," he said proudly, the grin in his voice palpable, even though you couldn't see it at the moment. And then, he added, a little bit more quietly as if he was saying this to the man who literally stopped in front of the car to admire him, "You wish you looked like that, huh?"

You let out an amused snort, and patted the gear stick with your palm to give him a sign to drive out of the parking lot. "C'mon."

"Let me honk at him," he'd asked for your permission seconds before doing it anyway without you allowing him to, causing the man to jump in his spot and then walk away. You just smacked the passenger's seat in disapproval, not even going on a rant about his behaviour because it was a daily occurrence for Mirage to do whatever he wanted.

"Hey!" he exclaimed, offended by your sudden reaction, as if he wasn't used to it, "I'm all for violence unless it's directed towards me," he muttered, sounding like an annoyed child. Then, without any warning, he revved the engine and drove out of the parking lot onto the main road. You only rolled your eyes without a word but then, you noticed how fast he was passing all the other cars in his lane, which he would usually cuss out for being slow, as if their owners weren't driving under the speed limit for safety reasons.

"Mirage…" you warned him, using his full name instead of a nickname, which he did not appreciate but decided not to speak on it and just change the topic.

"Jus' tell me it's not George Michael," he said with a short sigh, as if it was very important to him that it, in fact, was not George Michael.

"Mirage..." you warned him once again, ignoring his words, gripping the steering wheel with much more force now to hopefully get him to slow down.

"Nope," he said simply, understanding what you meant without you even having to say it. If he was in his humanoid form, he'd probably cross his arms on his chest and shake his head with that signature smirk indicating that he knew he was in control of the situation. "That's what you get for hitting your poor boy," he added, sounding very content with himself, revving the engine once more just to show you that he, in fact, was not planning on slowing down.

You scoffed. "You deserved it."

"For what?" he began talking in that specific, overly innocent tone, and you just knew he was going to say something sarcastic that would only annoy you even more, "For being so cute and funny?" He asked rhetorically, as if he wasn't aware that he really needn't have honked at that man, and then drive as recklessly as he normally would when you weren't inside him.

But he was very much aware. It was just that his pride didn't allow him to apologise.

"For being a little shit." You decided not to banter with him as per usual, but just to get straight to the point. Even though you were possibly risking starting an argument between you two, you just needed to reprimend him at the moment, especially now that you noticed how nonchalant he was about it.

"Ouch," he pretended to be hurt by what you just said. And although he wasn't actually offended, he still wasn't really in the mood to let you win.

So he sped up even more.

Noticing the opportunity presented right in front of him, the almost empty road ahead of you two, he floored the gas pedal, making you let out a short, quiet noise at the impact in which you got pushed back into the seat.

"What the fuck are you doing?" you asked him with anger in your voice, not raising it just yet, and not actually expecting a response. But you got one anyway:

"Takin' you on a ride date, baby," he answered sarcastically, his overly sweet tone making him sound even more annoying than before.

"Mirage, I—"

If he wasn't as sure in his abilities as he was, he'd never drive over three times faster than the speed limit allowed, never wanting to actually risk you getting hurt in any way.

And it wasn't even his fault, when a sport's car drove right into his left side, before you could even finish your sentence.

It wasn't his fault that the car ran a red light, that it was supposed to stop and wait for him to just drive away without getting thrown to the right by the impact.

It wasn't his fault that he was now rolling over for the fifth time, his roof and sides hitting the hard asphalt every single time.

You weren't even making any noises anymore so that he would know that you were with him, conscious, alive. He ignored the sound of his glass shattering, his metal body getting scratched, bent and painfully ruined, just to be able to hear your breath.

The other car was in a much worse condition, but he didn't care. The only thing occupying his mind was you, your heartbeat he would do anything to hear again. He needed to make sure you were still there.

He felt it all. He felt the pain that came with getting drove into by another car, with flipping over with unimaginable speed and force. But he needed to make sure you were alright.

And he couldn't even do anything to stop his worst nightmare from beginning to play right in front of his very optics.

Then, after a few moments that felt like hours to him, everything finally came to an end. The hiss coming out of him was still hearable, the hot steam, the liquid pouring out of his fual lines threatened to mix with the flames growing with every passing second. But it was finally quiet; no noise of metal hitting the asphalt distracted him from listening to your body.

His spark nearly exploded with relief when he heard the faint sound of your heartbeat. He wanted to transform, to be able to hold you, to get you out of him so that his bent roof wouldn't be pressing against your wounded head.

When people began to gather up around him, he realised he had a decision to make: to transform and risk getting hunted down just like it happened to Bumblebee, or to stay there and pray to Primus, pray to the people now surrounding him that they'd help you and make sure you were okay.

He wanted to scream at them to hurry up, to get you out, to make that heartbeat of yours sound more promising. To let him know that you weren't going to—

The idea of losing you forever crossed his mind for a split second before he could even stop it.

And it was his fault that he was going a lot over the speed limit, too distracted by the need to tease you, to win the argument, and show you that you had nothing to say in the way he was behaving.

It was his fault that there was crimson running down your forehead, the drops rolling past the hairs of your eyebrows, all the way down to your jaw, then staining your shirt with your own blood.

It was his fault that your body felt lifeless against his ruined upholstery, the only motion it was making was an almost undetectable rise of your chest every couple of seconds.

His train of thoughts got interrupted by the distant sound of sirens getting closer and closer to him. The people were talking, someone was yelling, it all making an irritating mixture of human noises he didn't need to hear at the moment.

Mirage felt his left door being opened or rather being torn out of him in a couple painful motions. He didn't care.

He just wanted them to take you away from him.

When he no longer felt your weight on his driver's seat, he almost let a sound of relief through his radio, but just now noticed that it's been ruined, making it impossible for him to do so. He hadn't paid attention to it earlier, too stunned to be able to say anything to you, even though your name and endless questions if you were okay wanted to escape him.

Cold liquid hit his hot metal body, the lower temperature of it somewhat helping him get in a clearer state of mind. Even though he felt deserving of being on fire, he appreciated the slight relief it gave him.

Somebody placed you on a stretcher, put you carefully in another vehicle, and then closed the door. He couldn't see you anymore but was sure the humans would take good care of you. Better care than he was able to offer.

The loud sirens hit his audio receptors before he registered the ambulance leaving the crash site.

And the sound was still bouncing against the interior walls of his helm every single day since the accident. The imagine of your limp body, his steering wheel covered in your blood, your head pressed uncomfortably against the remains of his left window...

Two whole weeks passed and he couldn't think of anything else but you. You in that horrible state he put you in himself.

The guilt was eating him alive, and even though he'd make Noah visit you everyday in the hospital to make sure your condiction was stable, he still couldn't help but beat himself up and be worried sick.

"Concussion, five broken ribs, broken arm and nose, and she was fucking bleeding from her liver, man," your mutual friend told him after leaving the hospital for the first time, after the doctors allowed anybody to visit you, even though you weren't conscious yet.

It affected Noah nearly as much as it did the robot. The only difference was that the human had no reason to blame himself for it, because it wasn't his recklessness that nearly killed you.

Mirage fell silent.

He got quiet, very quiet, unusually for him. Every Autobot he used to hang out with knew what happened, how much you meant to him, and how affected he was by the accident. They noticed the sudden shift in his behaviour, the once bubbly personality disappearing just so he could dwell in guilt in peace.

The thing that bothered him a lot among others was that he couldn't see you. He couldn't walk into the hospital you were being taken care of in. He couldn't sit next to you and tell you how painfully sorry he was for doing it to you, for putting you in danger, for hurting you so much your pain radiated off you body and made him feel it, too.

Noah insisted on repairing him, and he agreed purely because then he'd be able to park in front of the hospital to be as near you as possible.

But he was a wreck, both physically and emotionally.

And it still didn't change when you finally got discharged. He was not the one to pick you up from the hospital, it was Noah and Bee. He couldn't face you.

You asked about him when you woke up from the coma, your friend sitting next to you on the uncomfortable hospital chair only shrugging in response, telling you he didn't know anything about Mirage, where he was or how he was.

It was a lie. The robot was spending his time either in the garage, getting fixed by his only human friend, or out on the road, hoping that maybe, just maybe someone would crash into him again, making him feel that pain again. That pain he thought he deserved for harming you.

And when you insisted on Noah taking you to the garage to see him, after getting the information about his location out of the poor human, Mirage couldn't help but feel even worse than before.

You were alive, of course you were alive, but he also did notice the way you winced with every step, how dull the colour of your skin was compared to the times before the accident, how fragile you looked, standing there in front of him with Noah not leaving your side in case you'd collapse onto the floor.

You were alive, but also in so much pain he couldn't even look at you without feeling a strong sting in his spark.

His optics shifted to Noah in an instant, as if he was trying to bash him for taking you here, which he responded to out loud with his hands raised in a defensive gesture, "She threatened me."

You didn't even know what you were feeling at that moment. A mixture of sadness, annoyance, impatience, and hurt made you unable to say anything, forcing you to just stand there in silence. Suddenly, a short wave of pain washed over your right side, making you grimace and put your only free palm on the area surrounding your liver.

As soon as Mirage noticed your movement, he made an involuntary step towards you, his servos extended in your direction, as if he was trying to both comfort you and catch you if you were to fall.

Noah immediately asked, "You okay?" His eyes shifting between your hand on your side and your pained face. You just nodded.

Uncomfortable silence fell between the three of you, and the other human was close to replacing it with whistling just so that he wouldn't have to stand there awkwardly without a word.

"Imma just leave you two, yeah?" He scratched the back of his neck, his feet already leading him in the direction of the exit. "Jus'... scream if you die or somethin'..." he added, the awkwardness making him joke about things he normally wouldn't joke about.

And then, he left. He left poor Mirage with even poorer you. Alone.

You let out a grunt, making your way to the nearest chair to sit down. He was ready to help you with everything, but he didn't know if you even wanted him to, so he just stayed in his spot.

"You look bad," you commented, lazily motioning to his beaten-up body with your hand. The raspiness, the weakness in your voice almost made him drop to his knees.

He responded unsurely after a pause, a forced, unamused smirk on his face plate, "...You should see the other guy."

It was awkward. Awkward as never before, you two having always found it pretty easy to communicate with each other. But now... Now he couldn't help but feel that unpleasant feeling in his tank when you spoke up and made him say something back to you.

And it was his fault.

Your reaction to his little joke wasn't something you could control. A short, quiet chuckle left your mouth, causing you to grab your right side even more tightly and a wince of pain on your face to deepen.

She can't even laugh.

He felt so excruciatingly bad he had to fight himself not to transform into a car and just drive away.

You wanted to tell him that you've been told the other driver didn't make it. But you knew the war it would start in his mind if you shared that information with him, so you stayed silent.

"You look terrible," he muttered after a few moments of observing your body, as if to himself to comment on the damage he'd done.

You snorted, shaking your head in amusement. "That's exactly what every woman likes to hear," you responded, deciding that a little banter would be better than sitting without any words being exchanged.

Mirage's eyes widened slightly as he took a step towards you, his servos up in the air again in a specific gesture that indicated that he didn't actually mean it like that.

He had this tendency to make things worse with his words, and normally it wouldn't bother him at all, but this time it was you. He didn't want to make thing worse with you.

"No, no, you're pretty. Gorgeous, in my humble opinion. Walking perfection even," he wanted to correct himself, spurting word after word just to show you that he didn't want you to be mad at him. "Geez, I'm sorry," he added, bringing his servos to his face plate to cover it in... embarrassment.

Something new for him.

You shook your head, looking up at him with a small smile. "I do look kinda ter—"

Before you could finish your sentence, he said with much more confidence now, "...For everything."

He rarely apologised.

But you deserved to hear it. Even if you weren't ready to forgive him just yet, even if you were to never forgive him, he just needed you to know that he regretted it.

You frowned, opening your mouth to say something, but he interrupted you again, "Maybe I shouldn't have be the fastest car in Brooklyn that day. Maybe I should've listened to you and not be a little shit," he recalled the way you called him these few weeks ago, just minutes before the accident. With determination in his tone, he continued, "You can hate me, I can take it." But then, he changed his mind as soon as he realised he would prefer if you didn't hate him, "Actually. Hate me for the next three days at max. Please. If you don't want me to rip my vents out."

You snorted weakly once more, the movement of your body making you wince in pain again.

He finally found enough courage within himself to get closer to you. With a couple of steps, he kneeled down in front of you and extended one of his servos in your direction, as if non-verbally telling you to stop laughing and not cause yourself even more pain.

"'m sorry," he whispered his apology again, the sincere look in his optics showing you just how much he cared for you.

"It wasn't y—"

"It was," he interrupted you in a much more serious tone, but it was still filled with softness, "I was stupid..."

"Nothing new," you managed to blurt out before closing your eyes shut and grunting, a grimace on your face as you felt another sting of pain, which you were kind of used to now.

You opened your eyes and looked up at his worried optics observing your every move, his servos desperately wanting to touch and help you but he knew it'd only make things worse due to his size.

You let out a short chuckle at your own joke as soon as your body allowed you to.

"Not funny," he reprimanded you with a serious face, not finding your apparent discomfort amusing at all, even though he agreed with your words.

"You were just making jokes ab—"

"So?"

You rolled your eyes at him. "Child," you insulted him, fully aware how much he hated being called out on his childishness.

"I'm older than your cute little Earth, please," he scoffed.

"No, you're not," you deadpanned.

"...So?"

"I hate you," you said, although a small smile on your lips betrayed you.

"That's the spirit," he sighed but the corners of his lips curled up as well. A beat of silence passed and his gaze went back to your face, "I meant that."

You frowned slightly.

"I am sorry. For being the..." he was about to say something that would hurt his pride and ego, but decided it was worth it, "...the dumbest machine there is. Even a hairdryer is smarter than me," he insulted himself, hoping the sacrifice would make you like him again.

"You're right." You nodded, fighting back a chuckle.

He raised his arms in a playfully offended, confused gesture. "You could at least disagree, damn."

You shook your head in amusement.

After another beat of silence, he said seriously, "You're never coming inside me again."

"Wow."

"Should've worded it better, yeah..." he trailed off, "Primus, woman, give me a break." He let out a small laugh when he noticed your amused reaction to his sentence. "No, seriously... I... You're my girl, yeah? Don't want you to... You know, be in pain."

Why did he have to be so awkward about his feelings? Now that he finally had the chance to show you how much he loved you and never wanted to see you hurt again.

"I still have your..." he wanted to say that he still had your blood on some of his parts that didn't want to come off, but then decided it wasn't the best time to tell you that, "I almost lost my mind when I couldn't hear you," he confessed, his tone regaining its sincerity, the look in his optics describing his guilt to you without words.

He was referring to the moment he was so desperately trying to silence everything around him just to be able to find your heartbeat.

"I'm okay..." Your tone was soft, quiet, as if you were trying not to scare a lost, disoriented puppy.

"You're not okay," he disagreed with a slightly clenched jaw, angry at himself, not even for a second at you, "You..." He lowered himself so that he'd be able to whisper to you, as if saying these words more loudly would make them come true someday, "You almost died... I almost killed you..."

His face panel was close enough to your body for you to put your hand against his warm, metal cheek. Mirage immediately melted at the touch, his optics closing slowly just to allow him to savour the softness of your palm as much as he could.

"It wasn't your fault..." you started your monologue, this time the robot allowing you to continue, "I didn't die. I might have a broken bone or two..." He opened his eyes at this sentence, giving you a sad look. "...But I'll be alright. I didn't die," you repeated, which gained you an unsure nod from your boyfriend, who was now avoiding making eye contact with you.

You didn't force him to look up at you.

"I promise..." he trailed off, not wanting to show you how weak he felt, "I promise I'll never do that again..." His gaze went back to meet yours as you smiled softly, your eyes filled with love you had for him. "I'll never be dumber than a hairdryer, you have my unreliable word. And I'll never argue with you. I'll just say that I'm sorry, and that my woman is always right, and I'll shut up for as long as you want me to. And I... I'll never drive over twenty-five. Yeah, it hurts. But guess what hurts more. Seeing you with a broken bone or two."

Joking might've been the only way he would be able to overcome the sorrow he felt within himself. But it worked both for you and him. You really wouldn't have it any other way.

"Tell me," you whispered with a slight head tilt, slowly closing the gap between your faces.

He frowned, not understanding what you meant by that, but then the small smirk on your lips explained it to him.

He rolled his optics, the remains of guilt still evident in them, although with every passing second and every joke, they seemed to disappear bit by bit.

"'m sorry. My woman is always right," he repeated himself, pretending to find it very boring, as if he didn't really want to admit that. But he did. He did want you to know that he meant every single thing that rolled off his glossa.

Your smile widened immediately, your eyes closing as you minimized the gap between your and Mirage's lips completely.

And then, after long weeks of not being able to forgive himself for hurting the only woman he loved, he was finally able to feel relief.

#i cant write endings FOR SHIT #this is so fucking good im not even gonna lie #im such a good writer i surprise myself sometimes #the ending sucks tho #i might or may not mix up some of his body parts with human ones lmao #hope you cried while reading this #mirage x reader #mirage x you #rotb #transformers rotb #mirage transformers #mirage rotb #mirage #mirage x my pussy #wattpad #transformers #smut #fluff #angst #hurt/comfort #i REALLY hope mirage is not ooc #i really tried #its hard to write him in emotional scenes because hes usually so goofy #tell me what yall think

[stiffyck]

Starting to dislike desert duo and how dysfunctional the fandom makes them be.

Like canon is one thing but idk the fandom desert duo has been wearing on me.

One of the tropes I absolutely hate is Grian pushing Scar away and being a dick because he doesn't wanna hurt Scar and then hurting scar in the process and Scar then comforting him.

Grian hurt Scar so why is Scar the one comforting him.

#if you like this kind of stuff good for you #but im just really fucking tired of it i cant lie #man i just want fluff djvkfkgkdkf #stiff talk #stiff angy #not even angy more like annoyed and tired #desert duo neg #hate that im tagging that because i do love deset duo but its just this particular interpretation that makes my blood boil #gonna make fluffy desert duo shit for myself tomorrow <3 #if you get mad at me or smt because kf this post i literally do nkt care just unfollow me or whagever #idk how else to tag this

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

do—

Do Howdy and Barnaby ever get together in your human au 🥺🥺

of course they do, who do you think i am

oh BOY do i have things to say about human!Laughingstock! im so unwell about them allow me to talk and talk and talk and ta-

~

so in this au they're like... the ultimate slowburn. their feelings for each other slowly simmer and grow over the course of *checks nonexistent watch* a lil over a decade i think. it's not very dramatic - just soft & silly w/ just a heap of pining and a pinch of angst for Flavor

it starts when they were teens - Howdy had a lil crush on Barnaby in middle school. and how could he not? Barnaby was cute, hilarious, and kind. at this point, they weren't friends! Barnaby knew Howdy's name, but only because they'd shared a school since elementary (as with 6/7 of the other neighbors) & speaking from experience, you just Know Those Names. Howdy slowly "grew out of" this crush, especially when the friend group started forming and he & Barnaby became actual friends.

that crush would fluctuate over the years. It starts out strong and then softens into just this hum in the back of Howdy's mind. always there, often easy to ignore, just... part of him, in a way.

Barnaby has a similar experience. when he and Howdy became friends, he got a lil crush - how could he not? Howdy was cute, laughed at all of his jokes and had a few of his own, and was endearingly eccentric. but at the time, Barnaby didn't recognize the crush for what it was. so he elected to ignore it until the crush dwindled to something easily manageable, something he wouldn't realize is still there. as with Howdy's, it'd never fully go away

and its noticeable enough to their friends that they'd all kinda side-eye how touchy Howdy & Barnaby are with each other (Barnaby is a physical guy, but damn. if Howdy is nearby they Will find a way to be touching at all times), the way they always laugh at each others jokes, the way they always ask "where's [x] / is [x] coming with" whenever the other is absent. but the group couldn't be sure if they were looking into it or not. it's too subtle. over time they get so used to it that they don't bat an eye - Howdy is Barnaby's best friend after Wally. of course they're close!

but then there's this one college party Howdy drags Barnaby to (and by extension, Wally). they're drunk off their asses, Wally's edible has kicked in, the party is pretty chill and everyone is having a decent time. all three of them are on the couch, and Barnaby and Howdy start drunk-complimenting each other. naturally, this feeds their mutual attraction, and one thing leads to another! they make out on the couch. naturally with Wally sandwiched between them, snacking on chips and committing the moment to memory (it's a surprise tool that'll help them later!) neither Barnaby nor Howdy will remember this

now, something i'd like to state for Barnaby in this au! he has had a lot of relationships - from one night stands to actually dating someone for months. sometimes the one night stands were a "he takes someone home after a date, & they leave while he's sleeping and ghost him" situation. with actual dating, the other person always breaks things off after a few weeks, if not days. it breaks Barnaby's heart a little bit every time. to the point where in his mid-20s, he just... stops dating. he avoids other people's advancements towards him, he always takes a friend with him to bars/etc as a buffer, he becomes an expert at gracefully turning people down

("why, pray tell" no one asks "do they always leave him? he's such a catch!" that he is! when he was in school, it was his friend group. he'd try to introduce his 'girlfriend' to his friends, and it'd be an immediate "eugh, you're friends with those freaks? no way!" as an adult, people found it off-putting how (by societal standards) unusually close he was with Wally. also, again, a "weird" friend group. they'd think it's too much, or just not their scene, or 'why don't you date your little blue haired boyfriend', etc. Barnaby never holds it against Wally or his friends. he has the mindset of if that person was the one, they would accept every part of Barnaby - and his friends are indeed part of him. Howdy has also dated around a little, but to a much lesser extent. he's too busy! he doesn't have time for that!)

but the ball really starts rolling in their late 20s. something the group does together - as a fun lil rare hobby - is LARPing. they get really into it! Sally made them all custom costumes, Julie helped make the weapons (like a giant sword for herself), etc etc. they fully commit to the bit (even Frank <3). so at this event's point in the timeline, Eddie is fully integrated into the clique, but that's unimportant - just to show where we are!

so they're all doing their thing, it's a pretty big LARP event - there's always way more people than our dear neighbors, yk. they're just part of the crowd! & there's a big battle hosted, the group is split between teams, but Barnaby & Howdy are on the same side! yay! during the battle, Barnaby is "mortally wounded." Howdy half-drags him away from the main battle under the cover of their teammates (including Eddie and Julie) and sits him down by the tree. now, Howdy & Barnaby are the ones who get into the roleplay the most. they get lost in the sauce! they perform the hell out of everything they do!

& since Barnaby is "dying", he really acts like it. Howdy acts accordingly, but again, they get a little too emotional, a little too into it, a little lost in the sauce. genuine tears are in their eyes, Howdy's voice is genuinely shaking a little as he holds Barnaby in his "dying moments" (Barnaby is holding the sword between his arm and his side. he has ketchup on his armor.) Eddie and Julie are getting choked up just watching this happen. and as Howdy & Barnaby look into each others' tear-filled eyes, those little feelings that have been so quiet for so long come right back babey! full force! but then they all get hit with "arrows" and have to die right there and then, and the moments over. but! both Barnaby & Howdy walk away from this LARP session grappling with Partially Realized Feelings.

Barnaby struggles with this the most, since yk at this point he's sworn off dating. he's being careful with his heart! but when he tells Wally all of this, cause he tells Wally everything, Wally's like "oh. yes, i know! remember that one college party where you two kissed for an hour". and then he goes on to point out every instance where he's thought "right, Howdy and Barnaby are in love" (bc Wally is way more observant than he lets on! he saw that shit! his peepers were peepin!)

BUT IT'S STILL A SLOW BURN BABEY!

Barnaby and Howdy don't approach each other about this. they're both in the boat of "well, i'll just keep going and see what happens" to the point where they're practically dating without ever saying anything to each other. Howdy notices how Barnaby lingers around the store more. Barnaby notices how Howdy keeps turning up at his work to talk more. (they already chat so much...) but they still! dont! say! anything! but they both Know! they're not emotionally circling each other they are Dancing to their Own Music!

and Barnaby is letting himself believe that this can work because, well... Howdy already accepts him as he is. Howdy is part of the group. Howdy loves Wally just like the rest of em. Howdy has seen Barnaby at his (presumed) worst and didn't even flinch! as for Howdy, well, he just thinks this is right! his whole life no one has really caught his eyes or heart, but Barnaby is different. he's always been in Howdy's peripherals. it feels natural to love him so deeply. Barnaby slots into his life like the final piece of a puzzle!

there's a lot of stuff that happens in this inbetween state - Howdy's store burns down & almost takes him with it, there's some family drama that needs to be handled, The Crash happens, etc etc etc - so it's a while before they "actually" get together. but they're both patient! they've waited this long, even if they didn't know they were waiting. neither of them are in a rush. they're young. they have time.

#oughhhhhh so normal about them sooooo so normal (lying) #'do you know how they get together' yes. obviously. its not dramatic or a big thing or anything #they're just at a function together - maybe there's a little late evening art show in town that wally is participating in #or an afterparty for one of sallys successful plays #but in my mind barnaby and howdy are ofc sitting together off to the side #Flirting. yk how it is. barnaby's like 'hey can i practice some pickup lines ;)' & ofc howdy agrees yk yk #they're all terrible btw. howdy laughs at every single one. barnaby is on an emotional high. the rizz is strong w this one #one thing leads to another - barnaby says a terrible line essentially asking if howdy wants to ~come home with him~ #but like. howdy agrees. and immediately the tone between them goes from lighthearted & joking to dead serious & tense #everything between them has gone unspoken until now but Now Theyre Saying It #suffice to say they leave the party early! they're giddy giggly lil bitches about it - acting like teens sneaking out yk yk #GOD THEY'RE SO FUCKING AGHHHHHH THROWING THEM FULL STRENGTH INTO A WOODCHIPPER #sorry. sorry. im calm now. thats a lie. i will proceed to explode #but anyway anyway #so that was a whole thing & basically long story short Barnaby has the morning of his dreams #Howdy makes him and Wally pancakes and they all have a nice quiet breakfast together. The Domesticity🤌 #im gonna go shove my head in a blender now. excuse me #rambles from the bog #wh modern human au #gonna leave that as the tag #but yeah their story is just! slow! its a soft descent! #meanwhile frank & eddie are stumbling through their feelings like newborn fawns #but yeah and howdy & barnaby continue to take their time #its a while before barnaby is like 'hey wanna move in with us?' #howdy '....yeah sure' #and Boom! Howdy moves in! #and they actually get married a while later without anyone but wally knowing. they do it for tax reasons initially. #since they're not ready to be Married married but! they! want! the! benefits! #they keep their own last names and dont have rings bc again! theyre not ready for that yet! #FUCK IM OUTTA TAGS I HAD MORE TO SAY! TUMBLR INCREASE YOUR TAG COUNT! AGH

[bloodfueledmachine]

day 5

#ultratober #sisyphus prime #ultrakill #im not even gonna lie i misinterpreted his heads design wayyyyy too badly. awful mistake of mine #i thought those were just like. i dont knowstray veins attached to his head (??) #i dont really know im tired as fuck leave me & my poor wording choices alone #i like the effects i used on this but not how unclean it is. maybe one day i will revisit this image & redraw it #maybe...... maybe one day.......

[kind-of-a-shitty-wizard]

the production of don giovanni im watching has a very talented leporello but im way too distracted by his outfit to focus on his lines

what is this. pink on green? crosshatch on stripes? bigass feather cap?? this is the outfit of a man who hasn't realized he's bisexual yet. i need him

#don giovanni #i pivoted too hard and actually got curious about what i think jenkins would be interested in so now here i am deadass watching opera 🧍‍♂️ #my interests are shifting before my very eyes (might change some things abt this blog idk) #the opera's very good tho. its kind of like watching shakespeare #im not even gonna lie i chose this production JUST because i thought this leporello was cunty af #like theres a whole song where he talks about all the women don giovanni fucked and he fucking ATE in it !! #enochtalk

[wizardsix]

astarion stans who refuse to try befriending or even romancing anyone else are the most annoying mfs. "I only romance astarion I just can't relate to the other stories" really? you can't relate to gales deep self loathing? his deep love and loyalty for those he cares about? you can't relate to wylls kind heart and desire to always do good, even if it means he's miserable? can't relate to shadowheart blindly following a god, only to learn the truth and reinvent herself? you can't relate to lae'zel or karlach who were lied to and used as weapons their whole lives, but continue to push on even when they're scared? you can't relate to the overarching theme of authority vs autonomy???

it's not difficult, it's just people refusing to appreciate and explore the game to its fullest bc their manipulative sexy vampire is all they need(something astarion actually loathes being seen as btw). but ok, you can be boring and do whatever you want, but don't lie and say the other stories are bad, because they're not. it's simply a lack of media literacy and critical thinking. because to you, if a character doesn't tell you point blank that they're aware of their situation, it's bad writing. missing the entire point that victims don't always realize the situation they're in. keep in mind astarion and karlach are the only ones who got away from their abusers, which is why they tell you clearly and confidently about what happened to them, fully aware that it was abuse. whereas the others give only their tunnel visioned perspective and speak highly of their deity(not caring about themselves, wish to appease them for something in return).

don't get me wrong (seriously, if I see one person misunderstand me I'm going to lose it) astarion is a good character, but people who only like him need to stop acting like he's the only complex and well written one. stop crying when people with brains call you out for being weird about his ascended ending. the game isn't about him. at least try and show some respect to those who worked hard on the game. make an oc and try new things, i promise the fictional vampire won't care if you don't romance him one run. have a drink with shadowheart, dance with wyll, go to a restaurant w karlach, maybe then you'll calm down.

#this isn't astarion slander this is a critical post against his annoying ass fans #if this post offends you then youre exactly who im talking about. use your brains. i want people to appreciate larians hard work #idk man i just dont understand people who play heavily choice based games and don't try different things #again dear god do not get me wrong. play how you want. its the people that literally lie about characters that irritate me #'gales full of himself/lae'zel is mean/wyll is boring' tell me your brain is full of holes w/o telling me #also. shocking. but youre allowed to dislike or be neutral on characters but at least try to see their story and give a Valid reason why #no 'gale was toxic to mystra' doesn't count bc thats a blatant lie. and him forcefully triggering romance stuff is a bug. try again #the thing is too i just know this chaos is caused by dragon age stans that migrated to baldur's gate bc the next game is gonna fucking tank #cant keep their stupidity in the da fanbase it seems #astarion ancunin #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 spoilers #bg3 spoilers #six speaks #also im not saying every stories writing is perfect bc not even astarions is perfect. i have criticism for all of them #but at their core they succeed in delivering the themes mentioned above

[felsjustart]

Emerg Commissions

So my retina (right eye) detached (AGAIN) in the middle of my vacay in the states and i had to go to the emerg AND see a specialist/surgeon in 'murica before taking an emerg flight back home to Canada and my bills are gonna be so big ahsdffkjall;;; long story short, i'm gonna be reopening commissions again here soon while i'm on short term disability for a minimum of six fuckin' weeks (potentially longer once i have my follow up in two weeks). i'm gonna make some quirky name for them. like pirate commissions. cause i have only one working eye while the gas bubble gets reabsorbed. i was told that i'm essentially gonna get cataracts in this (right) eye from this vitrectomy cause the bubble is gonna fuck up my lens so that's ANOTHER surgery I'm gonna need down the line. And I'm supposed to be watching my other (left) eye for the inevitable time THAT one detaches. i am so grateful i live in canada rn and got the actual surgery done here but omigawd why cant i save any money or have nice things adfaks;l;;;;ka;rk ANYONE INTERESTED IN BUYING ART FROM ME?! What's your price range?? Gimme infos here or join my art discord for constant WIP's/updates on my commission status! -> Join Fels'ArtDump Server on Discord ! If you can't afford anything rn, I totes get it, but boosts/reblogs would be super appreciated! Full commission Info/examples Under the cut! WARNING: It is extremely image heavy!

I can do mostly anything that's humanoidish including anthro/fat bodies/dad bods & bears/femboys & twinks/beards/muscle bound bodies/extremely thin & eviscerated bodies/disabled bodies/injuries & scars/gore/monster-parts/Virtual Tabletop Tokens/scene illustrations/nudity and so much more. Things like weaponry & armor is gonna take me a lot more rendering/time though, so your price will jump if those sorts of things end up in your commission, but I'm defs willing to give almost anything a shot (sans anything hateful/homophobic or transphobic or harmful ofc). Disability aids will be added at no extra charge (things like canes, wheelchairs & prosthetics). The more references you can give me upfront = the faster your commission will be completed.

These are the heafier examples, but even if you're looking for a quick sketch, hmu and I'll be happy to get you something of a sketchier quality for a cheaper price.

#no tags we die like pirates #okay thats a lie #im stressed #emerg commissions #i just need to gather enough info to know if this is even gonna be worth the time/energy #our rent is going up in march #and all our other bills keep having increases cause the economy fucking sucks #and i am actually disabled now while i try and make my eye #STOP TRYING TO YEET ITSELF FROM MY HEAD #LIKE FUCK U HAVE ONE JOB STAY.IN.PLACE.

[dailykugisaki]

Day 129 | id in alt

Right after Fushiguro tells you what Itadori's final words are? Girl, do you have something you're not sharing with the class.

#dailykugisaki #jjk #kugisaki nobara #fushiguro megumi #FIRST TIME DRAWING FUSHIGURO WITH KUGISAKI WITH NO OTHER BITCH IN ROTTINGGG #it might happen again unfortunately #saw the new book cover and im b #im cackling dawg gojo looks like he'd click his teeth at me for no reason #good for him??? #fucked yp ass Fushiguro #“why does he look like that” *flutters my eyelashes* #i was loudly fucking talking about how Kugisaki would lay Gojo out flat for all the clan shit im tired of these bitches #CLANS AND HIGHER UPS? KILL THEM FOR FUCKS SAKEEEE #well i fucking guess the villains are doing it for the protagonists which fucking....okay i guess #what did they even do yall they didnt do SQUAT #i dont play about Kugisaki Nobara *gets blasted with 45 hertz* #not gonna lie i think she'd kill somebody if they wanted to be nosey about her business #that includes everyone tbh

[hydrus101]

cw - suicide

I've felt for a very long time that all signs point to Season Six being centered in the Dark World. It seems obvious, right? A logical conclusion to the story, the beginning becomes the end.

But what if, when Arthur arrives - without John, somehow - he's not greeted by his parents or Bella, or Faroe, or Parker? What if the first person he meets there is Oscar?

What if he still, even after all this time, hasn't read his letter yet? Too busy, too scared, too run ragged to crack the seal on the note tucked away in his breast pocket, too late to have read it (too late again always too late) or to have done anything to stop it, too wrapped up in planning with Noel to have known what Oscar was planning to do.

What if he finds out only after, that Oscar has been waiting for him in the Dark World the whole time? Waiting there to serve his purpose and guide him from the other side, a guardian angel at last?

#malevolent #malevolent podcast #suicide #cw suicide #dont look at me i need to lie down #ive been thinking about this for so long #i need them to read that fucking note so i can either stop being sad or find some solace in being right #but you see it dont you? amputated and abandoned by his purpose without even a fucking goodbye christ im gonna be sick

[swagatron-9000]

maybe my constipation is a result of my bottled up rage inside. maybe we are all constipated and we just need to take some (re)laxatives. maybe. just maybe.

#im not even gonna lie what the fuck did i just write

[rightventricle]

My back pain is so bad tonight my vision keeps whiting out but it's ok we will survive

#idk what im gonna do for work this summer... #i cant rely on odd jobs anymore cus i fucked myself up and even if i can lie about it for a few weeks #eventually its gonna come crashing down and no one wants to hire someone unreliable for manual labor

[cherry-bomb-ships]

Found this Powerpuff DVD extra thats literally just Mojo talking abt himself for a few minutes and at one point he just drops that he wants kids someday and like w. Hwhat. What do I do with this information

#like idk how much im gonna take that as canon cuz a this eas a silly side thing on a dvd #and b this guy is like The Pathological Liar of all time so i feel like he was just saying that to make himself look better #like 'oh i totally looooove kids i even want my own aren't i so nice' #like who are you trying to impress 😳💖 #but if... if thats nOT a lie.... w what do i make of this 0-0💖 #i mean he technically does HAVE kids he made the rowdyruff boys after all 😂 #and man those boys need a Lot 💀 in the last 2 seasons theyre basically homeless hrnsnxbg #so if thats in my canon too.. hhhrrrnggggg 😳💖💖💖💖 evil fucked up family...... #ruby rambles #💜: loving you's a felony

[m4ndysk4nkovich]

hey guys!!!!!!! remember when fiona wanted debbie to get an abortion so bad she tackled her!! talk about a diy abortion!!!!!!😹😹😹 not even just a diy abortion for debbie, but for fiona, who had found out of her pregnancy like thirty minutes before!!!!! what was this pregnant 25 year old doing attacking a pregnant 14 year old????? embarrassing!!!!

#seriously though this is a safe space to say fuck fiona gallagher #i fucking KNOW that debbie was making a mistake #us debbie fans are TIRED of hearing about it #but these fiona fans are fucking blind and think that what she did was ok! #and debbie didn’t even lie… she ended up raising franny all by herself #fiona didn’t do jack shit because debbie didn’t want her to!! #shameless #fiona gallagher #debbie gallagher #6x02 #the church of debbie gallagher #<- im gonna start tagging shit as that