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spilledsinnamontea · 3 years

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Do You Have a Membership?

Summary:

Levi went to a convenience store, and he was welcomed by a dazzling cashier. [LH Modern AU]

Words: 2081

A/N: A Oneshot that was Inspired by a real life event that my friend had experienced. It was so funny and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Hence, I want to immortalized their story by turning it into a Levihan fanfiction.

LINK: AO3 / FFNET

DISCLAIMER: Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan belongs to Hajime Isayama.

Levi had visited this gas station a few times before, but he had never bought something from the convenience store. However, one day, when he was driving Isabel to her university, he found himself in needed for gas. At the same time, he had also promised Isabel to buy her snacks for her faculty camping trip. Hence, to save some time, they decided to go to the convenience store after filling his car with gas.

Well, at least, that was the plan. But he should have known that Isabel is far too rebellious for his plan, no matter how simple it is. Because, in a quick motion, Isabel unfastened her seatbelt and went straight to the store, leaving Levi to queue for the gas alone.

Few minutes later, after he got what he needed, he parked the car in front of the small store. From the look of it, the store seemed to be vacant. Levi opened the glass door and heard a bell ring.

"Welcome to Rose Mini Mart!"

Additional voice was heard alongside the ringing of the bell. Levi was quite taken aback by a cheerful greeting that he got, which was a bit jarring from the usual greeting that he got from tired and underpaid retail workers.

Levi threw a quick glance at the cashier and glanced away. However, soon enough he found himself glancing back at the cashier. It was proven to be a bad decision because he locked eyes with the person. In an instant, he glanced away and walked further inside the store, focusing on his task to find a teenager with bright red hair. Fortunately, the store was small, so it was not hard for him to find her. She was standing in an alley that was filled with snacks and candies.

"Jesus, Isabel. Do you want to rob the entire shop?" Levi commented as soon as he saw Isabel—who was trying to fit various selection of potato chips into her hands.

"What do you mean? I just want to be prepared. What if I got lost in a forest?" Isabel replied nonchalantly as she grabbed another bag of potato chips.

"Don't be over dramatic. It's a fake forest, a playground for adults. You have to be stupid enough to get lost in there." Levi took two pairs of potato chip bags from her before putting it back on the rack. "It's only three days, Isa. Just buy what you need."

Isabel pouted and reluctantly put back most of her snacks, muttering under her breath as she did that. Levi insisted that he would not pay if she bought a lot, but Isabel kept persuading him to let her to buy another package. After throwing arguments back and forth, in the end, Isabel's haul consisted of a bag of chips, a bar of chocolate, two cartons of strawberry juice, and a package of dry toasted almond.

"Wow, you got a lot in there." The cashier remarked with a chuckle when Isabel put her snacks on the counter. "You're going somewhere?" She asked Isabel.

Isabel then proceeded to tell the cashier about her faculty camping trip. The cashier nodded to Isabel's story as she took each item and scanned it.

Now that Levi stood near the cashier, he was able to scan her appearance. She was wearing a long black sleeves shirt and a green apron. Her hair was knotted into a messy updo from which a few baby hairs could be seen coming out. She also wore rectangular glasses that sat on top of her roman nose.

There was nothing special with the way she dressed or styled herself. Nevertheless, Levi was somehow captivated by her, and he did not know why or how it happened. Was it because she looked so genuine when she smiled? Was it because the way her auburn hair shines from the sun that peeked through the store window? Was it because her genial attitude toward Isabel? Or was it because she looked—

"Alright, that will be $20.50, sir."

Levi was brought back from his stupor to meet a pair of sweet chocolate eyes. He blinked once as he muttered, "Ah."

"Will that be cash or charge?" She asked.

Levi took his wallet from his pocket and grabbed two pair of 10 dollars bill and a coin. "Cash." He said as he gave her the money.

"Do you have Rose membership?" She inquired when she took the money and count it.

"No."

"Do you have coupons?"

"No."

She nodded, "alright, you paid exactly $20.50 so there will be no change." The cashier clicked a few keys on the keyboard, put the money on the register, and gave him the receipt. "Thank you!" She said with the same smile that never falter since the beginning.

After making sure the receipt was right, Levi took Isabel—who had already put the snacks inside her canvas bag—by the elbow and led her outside.

"See you again." She told them before they left.

•──────✦──────•

Levi started his car and drove his car away from the gas station. However, he found himself lost in a haze of his own mind. He could not even focus to hear Isabel's rambling because his thought was filled with a certain someone. It was strange, because he did not even know her name, but she had caught him by surprised.

Levi thought that maybe it was because he did not expect someone like her to work as a cashier in a gas station convenience store. Granted, nothing is wrong with the job, but Levi had never met a cashier that… that is… that is so…

"LEVI!"

Levi jolted in his seat from the sudden loud voice that came from the girl that seated next to her. He looked on the road, expecting the worst, but luckily nothing happened. For a second, he was scared that they would die or something. After regaining his composure, Levi furrowed his brows at her and exclaimed, "What the fuck, Isabel?"

"I had to scream because you didn't respond!" She said in her usual high voice. However, Levi noticed a hint of urgency on her voice.

Levi sighed and clicked his tongue. "Sorry."

"Yeah, yeah, apology accepted. Now that we have made our peace, I want us to go back to the store."

"Huh?" Levi could not believe her request. He was barely driving for ten minutes, and she already want to go back? Well, it is not like he did not like that idea…

"We need to go back." She repeated as she sat awkwardly on the seat. Her countenance was nothing out of ordinary, but there was a sign on her forehead that said, 'something is definitely not right'.

He narrowed his eyes, scanning her suspiciously. "What do you mean we need—"

"WE NEED TO GO BACK!"

"I HEARD YOU!" He replied in an equally loud manner before lowering it again as he asked, "Why? You forget something?"

"Not really..." Isabel muttered before finally looking at Levi with much seriousness in her face. It was rare for her to make that face, so whatever this thing is, it must be so important. "Okay, listen Levi. I need to buy a tampon."

Levi raised one of his brows. "What? How could you forget something as important as that?"

"Well, I didn't know I got it until now." The words easily flew from her mouth, almost like she just told him about the weather today.

Levi paused before his face finally turned horror as he glanced at Isabel with bewildered eyes. He opened his mouth and asked in a low voice, "… Are you freaking serious?"

"No, it’s a prank."

Silence.

"OF COURSE, IT’S NOT. I'M SERIOUS, LEVI." Isabel grabbed his shoulder to shake him. "That's why we have to go back! Do you want me to—"

"Fuck no!" Levi shook his head in disbelief before looking at her again. "Are you even sure about it?"

"YEAH, I'M SURE! I KNOW MY BODY, OKAY?!"

Levi grunted before finally taking a turn to go back to the gas station. They parted away as soon as they arrived at the gas station. Isabel went to the toilet, walking in slow and painstaking steps. Meanwhile, Levi sprinted and barged into the store, making the bell rang loudly as he did.

"Welcome—Oh, it's you again."

Levi gave her a nod before walking to the personal care aisle and grabbed Isabel's usual choice of brand. He went to the cashier in hurry and immediately pocket his wallet from his pocket.

"You came back." The cashier remarked in a voice that was buoyant and tender.

"Yeah."

She grabbed the package and scanned it. "Oh, seems like your sister forgot this, huh?"

"Yeah—" He answered before furrowing his brows at her. "Wait, how did you know?"

"Deduction, I guess." She chuckled as she took a glance at the monitor. "From the way you two argued over potato chips and dry toasted almond, I knew immediately that you two are siblings."

On one hand, Levi was taken aback, and a little bit impressed by her observation. He and Isabel do not look exactly alike, so there had been some awkward instances where people would mistake them as any other but siblings. Although, on the other hand, Levi was kind of embarrassed by the fact that he and Isabel quarrelled loudly in public.

"Alright, that will be $6.68." She looked back at him with gleam in her eyes. "Will that be cash or charge?"

"Cash" Levi opened his wallet, grabbed two bills, and put it on the casher table before opening the small compartment where he put his coins. Levi then grabbed a few coins and started to count it.

"Do you have Rose membership?"

"No."

"Do you have coupons?"

"No."

"Do you have a partner?"

"No— What?!"

Chink.

Series of metal sound hitting ceramic was heard loudly on the quiet store. Levi stared blankly at his coins that scattered all over the floor. Then, he heard a feminine laughter coming from the cashier. Levi's started to feel his cheek burning from the event. He immediately crouched down and started to collect his coins.

"I'm sorry." She said before leaving the register and went to kneel in front of him. She helped him to grab some of the coins, she even willing to grab the coin that got stuck under the table. He was grateful for her help, but she just could not stop laughing while doing so, and it made him even more self-conscious.

Oddly enough, he was able to let it slide. He just could not find himself angry at her, not when she laughed like that. Her laughter was so sweet, so enchanting, and so addicting. So much so that he let the corners of his mouth lifted for a second.

After making sure that she did not miss any coins, she stood up and returned to her post. A few coins on her hand and she counted it. Then she grabbed the money that he had left on the counter and said, "six dollars…" before showing him the coins that she had on her hand, "…and sixty-eight cents."

“Ah, yeah—" He muttered in a croaky voice, a clear sign that he was being betrayed by his body. He cleared his throat and repeat his sentence in a clearer voice. "Yeah, thank you."

"You're welcome." She giggled and gave him the receipt.

Levi nodded as he took the receipt and the item. He glanced at her and at the door, contemplating on what he should do. In the end, his pathetic self decided to nod at her again before turning his body to the door.

"I'm Hange, by the way." She suddenly told him in a soft voice, almost like she was hesitating to speak it.

Levi halted on his step and returned to look back at her. A subtle flush could be seen on her cheek and Levi had to mentally stopped himself from staring at her like an idiot. He rubbed his nape and said, "Levi."

She was beaming with joy at his response. "Then, see you again…?"

Unlike the one that she said to him and Isabel, this time she voiced it more like a question than a statement. Levi smirked before he walked to the exit and answered, "only if my sister forgot something again."

Well, if there is one thing he knew about Isabel, she tends to forget things.

-fin-

#cha cha real smooooottthhhh #this was fun!!#it's nice to write in a more casual english #tftae is slowly turning me into shakespeare #ngl I went to walmart page to check on the price bcs idk the value of dollar :D #it's been so long since I wrote them in modern AU #levihan #levihan fanfiction #bluemallow

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linkspooky · 4 years

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Eren and Historia

Eren and Historia have a connection to one another. No, I don’t think they are romantically connect, nor do I believe they are co-conspirators plotting to destroy the world together. However, the narrative is pushing the idea that Eren and HIstoria are somehow connected and continually pushing them next to each other. Eren kissing Historia’s ring is the trigger for his vision that commits him to the path of destroying the world. Eren uses Historia as a reason to accelerate his plan. Eren confides his plan solely in Historia. The reason this line is drawn between the two characters is that they are CHARACTER FOILS. Eren and Historia are two people who seem like opposites but they’re actually incredibly similiar to one another. Almost too similiar to ever et along. The extreme similarities between Eren and Historia, and their character foiling underneath the cut.

1. Historia’s Regression

So I’ve gotten countless asks on my opinion of Historia’s behavior in the final arc. My opinion is that we’re being shown the result of her regression to her pre-uprising arc self. Is this the best writing choice for Historia’s character? I do not know. There are two schools of literary analysis that boil down to “Is the writing good?” or “what is the author trying to say?” and I much prefer to stick to the latter. I think the text is attempting to portray Historia regressing on her character arc, and as a person to mirror Eren’s own regression.

Everybody is regressing in the final arc. Armin lets his poor self-esteem sabotage his decision making ability like he did in Trost. Mikasa is struggling to find a way to live without Eren and see herself as a person seperate from Eren because of her codependent nature, once again like Trost. Annie wants to pretend that this all has nothing to do with her, like in the female titan arc. Hange can’t make a decision without Erwin around and wants to leave it all up to him even though he’s literally dead. The characters in the final arc are written as still struggling with what we think they should have gotten over with in earlier arcs. Heck, Jean still beats up Reiner over what happened to Marco.

It’s not because after all this time the characters haven’t progressed in their character arcs at all. It’s because the story structure of Attack on Titan is chiastic. The beginning and the end are written to mirror each other.

Chiastic structure, or chiastic pattern, is a literary technique in narrative motifs and other textual passages. An example of chiastic structure would be two ideas, A and B, together with variants A' and B', being presented as A,B,B',A'.

Sometimes instead of character development being a straight journey from point A to point B, it’s instead more like a helicopter hovering around the point, continually circling it. The character has brief moments of revelation where you think they’ve had their big change only to regress later. Lemme use this example from Tokyo Ghoul to illustrate my idea.

A character seems to be progressing, and we believe they are, only to regress in the end. I think narratively there is a very strong reason for Isayama using this style of character development. Every single major character is either a child soldier right now just barely on the cusp of adulthood, or they like Levi were child soldiers at one point or another. The adults, few that they are, are all either cast as incapable of acting as strong decisive role models (Hange) or are killed off eventually (Erwin).

It’s like what Magath expresses in his final words, these children were never allowed to have a normal life because of him. If the narrative is about the evils of using child soldiers on both sides, both the Scouting Corps and Marleyans, then it would make sense that every single character is portrayed as either a child unable to grow up or an adult that has continually failed them.

What we are being shown is every major character with an arc struggling with being unable to truly grow past who they were as children. Even when given the oppurtunity to grow, they falter with it, because they are child soldiers stunted by their trauma and that’s not an easy thing to overcome. Rather than a straight line we’re shown a circular process. Gabi and Falco are the only characters being shown with fully straight line arcs, but they are also far simpler than the other characters because they are children, and not stunted adults acting like children. Armin is passive, day dreaming, indecisive like he was when he was a child. Mikasa is overly attached to Eren like she was when she was a child. Heck, even Connie’s major flawed decision this arc is wanting his mother to return. Whcih is a symbol of wanting to return to the safety of childhood that he was suddenly and abruptly cut off from.

Okay, that was a long tangent but I hope I have made my point on what I mean by regression. Eren and Historia are paralleled with each other because they more than anyone else, are regressing to their childhood selves. Where we see at least hints of progress with other characters (Armin, MIkasa, Jean) indication that they will eventually rise to the responsibility of adulthood we see only stagnation for these two characters. It’s because once again Eren and Historia are incredibly similiar as people. Heck, even the fact that they’re regressing the most is paralleled. The same chapter in which Eren declares he’s using the child Ymir’s power to destroy the world, we’re shown a flashback of Historia first and foremost.

Eren empathizes with little girl Ymir, and Historia was told as a child that she should learn to be like Ymir, always kind and always putting others first. They both see themselves in Ymir and it symbolizes why they are connected, because deep down they are both that powerless little child.

There are two big connections between Eren and Historia immediately. Number one is that the inciting incident of their trauma is the same. Yes, Historia grew up in a household where she was eteranlly bullied and belittled where Eren grew up fairly love and secured but they both suffer from the same traumatic incident.

A titan suddenly killed the person who was the symbol of unconditional love and security in their lives, for Eren it was his mother, and for Historia her older sister. In a situaiton where they were completely powerless, they watched a titan kill their security and destroy their home and are rendered homeless children after that point. They both join the titan corps as a way of survival. The reason that Eren is shown encouraging his father to pull the trigger and completely eliminate the Reiss family, is because narratively these two events are supposed to be connected. They’re narrative parallels. Eren suffered the loss of his mother which is the root of his trauma, and then has a hand in inflicting that same trauma on Historia.

They are two people connected by the nature of their worst trauma and what it did to them. Every time they try to progress as people, they instead regress because what happened then was so fundamanetally damaging it robbed them of the ability to be able to grow up. They will never feel like they have the security that children need in order to grow into adults.

Historia and Eren are mirror images even in their lives. Eren is an ordinary child given an ordinary childhood. Historia was marked as different from birth and raised as a special person. However, they ended up in relatively the same position. They both regress. The nature of Eren’s regression should be obvious because he’s trying to destroy the world. In essence Eren has remained the same character all throughout, his primary goal was to kill all the titans beyond the walls, it’s just his target that has changed.

So, let’s focus instead of how Historia has regressed. I will say before I begin though that Eren and Historia regress as opposites. Eren will always choose to be active, even if it means stealing agency from others. Historia will always choose to be passive, even if she has power over others. When they are pushed into a corner by circumstances they fall back on their worst habits and that’s why we see them regress. Externally, they have different mechanisms to handle it. Eren steals agency, Historia gives up agency. Internally, it’s practically for the same reason, because whatever security they have is continually ripped away from them leaving them unable to grow as people.

So what is Historia’s regression? Basically Historia, like Eren is lacking of a sense of self. Historia has no consistency deep down to show who she is. Even with most of the other characters as childish as they can be have this, Mikasa is overprotective and likes family, Armin is a dreamer who wants to explore the world, Annie is self centered and wants a peaceful life. Eren even comments about this in regards to himself when comparing himself to Eren. Eren centers himself around violence, war, and his hatred. Armin has something else besides fighting, in order to build himself around. Therefore, Eren considers himself lacking as a person in comparison to Armin. Who would Eren be if he wasn’t trying to destroy all the titans? That’s a difficult question to answer.

Historia is much the same way. Historia builds herself and her self of identity around the roles that other people ask her to play. The little girl Ymir is kind because she always did what others ask of her. Historia is always performing some role for the sake of everybody around her.

I wouldn’t say that Historia’s arc in Uprising ends on a triumphant note, but rather an ambiguous one. The arcs aren’t lines, they’re circular. Historia even questions herself if she’s moving for the sake of herself or others.

Here is how I see uprising. Your interpretation might differ. Historia steps out of the role of Krista. Historia, tries to be herself for a moment. At the end of the arc, rather than true liberation Historia chooses to step back into the role of queen. The only slight progress made is that she doesn’t entirely listen to Erwin’s orders. However, even her act of slaying a titan within the wall was a pre-planend action, a performance. It’s just one Historia altered slightly to give herself a more centered role.

If Historia is not someone moving to help others than who is she? We know she’s spunky, angry, etc. etc. but as a character she hasn’t really developed goals or wants and needs outside of that. We continually see her on the brink of that point, but never quite crossing the line.

Eren and Historia are at the center of their existence very performative people. The reason nobody quite understands Eren is that he’s always putting on an act around other people.

Eren and HIstoria even doubt the same things in chapter 68. That is to say, they doubt themselves. They doubt if they are really truly people who are capable of moving for themselves. Eren sees himself as someone who has nothing special about him, and therefore doesn’t matter. Deep down he’s always viewed himself as a weak and pathetic person. Historia doesn’t think she’s capable of making decisions for herself. It’s because they’ve been continually made to feel helpless all of their lives, that they doubt themselves to this degree.

Their response to this is to perform for everyody else around them. Eren si continually performing as this super strong, determined child ready to fight the whole world. Whereas, Historia is performing in the roles that other people give her. She is Krista Lenz. She is the queen Historia Reiss. She is, always, always, always, what other people need her to be. Whereas, Eren performs what he wants to be, which is powerful.

When Historia and Eren break down it is shown just how deeply similiar they are inside. They become what they continually are made to feel like, helpless children. Eren is constantly boasting about how he is going to kill all the titans, and yet deep down he’s always believed that he was all talk and that for him there was nothing behind those words.

It’s the same for Historia just in an opposite direction. Historia is constantly talking about helping people, but deep down she doesn’t see herself as a genuinely altruistic person. Not only does she see herself as helpless (therefore incapable of helping people because she can’t help herself) but she sees her motivations for helping people as selfish.

In the Uprising arc we even see this parallel. I mean I know many people interpret this as Historia’s big moment of independence, which is also a valid interpretation. I’m just giving you my interpretation. I also see this as Historia having a massive mental breakdown in the middle of a crisis moment. When they are pushed to their absolute limits and they can no longer pretend, Historia and Eren both break down and we see what they view themselves as. Eren sees himself as a crying and begging child insignificant, unpowerful, and helpless. Historia sees herself as a selfish child and a bad person. This is also something that reflects their upbringing. Historia was continually made to feel selfish due to being an abused bastard, for wanting even the most basic necessities a child needs like love and security. Eren had his security ripped away suddenly when his mother died and he was at the time, a helpless, crying child only able to watch.

When Eren breaks down he says the same thing always. Nothing has changed from back then. Nothing has changed from when I saw my mother died. When Historia breaks down she says she can’t live up to the expectations of other people around her.

Eren and Historia both see themselves as fundamentally unable to change from who they were as children, and that’s why we see them regressing to their most childlike selves here in this final arc.

2. What is the point of Uprising Arc, then?

I know I read uprising differently from most of the people on this site. However, I’m not saying that Historia didn’t grow in Uprising at all, or even that she doesn’t have a chance to grow. Honestly, I think Uprising does a good job at portraying the complexity of Historia’s character and why it’s really, really hard for her to grow in a straightforward manner. She’s not really the heroine of the story where she defeats the bad guy, and then overcomes her flaw in a dramatic fashion at the end of the arc.

Okay, so I’m going to try to address how Historia’s arc is still... you know, an arc, even though it doesn’t continue on in a straightforward fashion from Uprising. Uprising isn’t pointless because it shows us the great depth and complexity of HIstoria’s character, and also establishes why it is so hard for her to change. It’s not a straightforward arc, more of a dig into her psyche. Historia steps out of the role, Historia tries to be true self for a moment, Historia steps into another role at the end of the arc. It may seem pointless to read it this way, but I’m going to try to dig in from this point forward to show the complexity that this demonstrates.

So, like I said Historia is a character who lacks a sense of self. The reason that Eren perceives this of her so strongly that it’s what forges their friendship in this arc is because Eren is the same way.

Eren picks up on the fact that Historia was always striving to meet the expectations of everyone around her, because Eren is very much the same person. The kill all the titans thing is an act. Everyone around him believes it to such an extent that not a single person, even his closest childhood friends understood him enough until it was too late.

Eren also tells Historia he sees her as a normal girl, because it’s who Eren wants to be accepted as, but feels like he never can be. Before I go into uprising itself there’s the big inciting events for both of them that lead into where their characters are in the lead up to Uprising.

Eren and Historia both have a moment with their respective love interests in the prelude to this arc. Historia begs Ymir to come back with her so they can both live on as themselves. Mikasa tells Eren that he doesn’t need to be able to defeat titans, that what he did for her was showing her the small kindness of wrapping her scarf around him that day was enough for her.

It’s Mikasa and Historia who reach out, but Ymir and Eren both refuse that closeness. Eren chooses to fight, and Ymir chooses to sacrifice herself to Reiner and Bertolt.

I know a lot of people take issue with this writing choice, but sorry this post isn’t about the quality of the writing, just how it all comes together in the big picture. The point is, Historia and Eren are both offered what they have always wanted which is to live as themselves with a person who loves them for who they are only for it to get them taken away.

There’s also an interesting irony written in Ymir’s death. Historia has always idealized the path of a martyr. She always thought living a good, selfless, altruistic life is what would earn her the love of her sister.

Part of the problem is, the only source of love both Eren and Historia has was taken away so suddenly. Historia got the idea in her head, that all love was conditional and she had to act good in order to earn that love because love was never freely given to her. So Historia’s martyr act is a way to earn love. However, Ymir’s choice inflicts upon Historia the pain other people feel when she decides to martyr herself.

The path of the martyr isn’t a good one, it’s thorny, and wracked with pain. What Ymir does is a genuine act of altruism. She makes a choice out of sympathy for both Reiner and Bertolt who have suffered all their lives just like her, and also a belief her sacrifice will buy something for HIstoria in the bigger picture. It’s at least partially an altruistic decision, and Historia’s not happy about it at all, she’s downright bitter. Because, Historia isn’t the altruist deep down inside she pretends to be. Historia idealizes self sacrifice and selflessness, but when faced with the harsh reality and consequences of such behavior she realizes this is not what she wants.

Ymir’s death throws the narrative Historia has always held onto into question, because she’s now the victim of somebody else’s self sacrifice. By killing herself, Ymir has also deprived Historia of her place in the world. Which sends her into self doubt. This moment of reflection is once again where we see the real Historia.

Eren calls out the fact that Historia is actually very selfish. When she’s not performing goodness, most of her worries and actions are centered around herself. Everyone is out risking her lives, and Historia is kind of busy like “Who am I? Why won’t people love me for the real me?” These questions are selfish because they are focused and centered around the self. Historia is, egocentric in the way a child is, and the way that Eren is, because she doesn’t have a fully developed self.

Uprising is where we’re shown very clearly that rather than having a centralized sense of self, a goal to focus herself around, all of these things normal characters have Historia is someone who wildly swings between two.

Historia is indecisive on whether or not Krista or Historia constitutes the real her. There is the act that Historia portrays on the surface as someone who always worries about others, and then her history (Gosh, golly gee I wonder why her real name is Historia... obvious symbolism is obvious). The question for HIstoria is which one she should let efine her, is she defined by the trauma she accumulated by being born into this world, or the person she wants to be. Historia’s failure to reconcile herself between the two extremes is what results in her behavior, as swinging back and forth between both.

I don’t believe that the point of uprising is to show Historia finally reconciling these two, but rather to show her wildly swinging between the two. HIstoria is someone who wildly swings between great feats of selfishness and selflessness.

We are given several hints of Historia’s progress in this arc, but also several unhealthy signs of her back sliding. For exmaple there’s the scene where Levi infamously bullies Historia into calling herself the queen. One this scene fundamentally demosntrates what Historia’s problem is, she can’t make decisions or act for herself because she doesn’t really know what she wants.

And when Levi beats her up and pushes her, she decides to perform again. Now the question is if you see the final climactic scene of Uprising as her triumphantly overcoming this cycle or falling back into it. My interpretation is that it portrays the swinging between.

HIstoria, confronted with the feelings of insecurity she’s had since childhood unable to feel consistently loved or that she was even worthy of love is about to fall back on her mechanism of total and complete selflessness. Believing that her self sacrifice will at least mean she was a good person that meant something to the world, that her self sacrifice will earn her something. The reason that Eren yells I’M NOT NECESSARY is it’s because what their trauma made them feel like, and deep down what they’re afraid of hearing.

Historia first appears entirely passive and selfless, then she takes an active role and screams she’s the worst girl on earth and she’d rather let the whole world die than sacrifice one person. Her response isn’t to reconcile these two entirely divergent selves, but rather we’re being shown her flipping between them.

Historia declares one moment she doesn’t care about the rest of the world they can all die, and the next moment she says that if there’s a crying child she will always help. What we see is not a reconciliation so much but rather a flipping between, because it’s Historia’s tendency to swing back and forth between the two.

Here’s my defense of my point. Uprising ends on an ambiguous note. As I’ve said above uprising doesn’t end on Historia becoming her full realized self, but rather wondering if she’s become her full realized self.

Not only that but everything that seems like it was forward progress initially in uprising becomes undone later. Erwin is freed in Uprising, Erwin dies the next arc. Eren says he doesn’t need to become a special person to change the world, Eren is back on his bullshit by the time skip. The uprising puts the good guys in charge of the government and so now the government is no longer an obstacle to the path of saving humanity. The Jaegerists come take over in a second uprising, and the government becomes an obstacle once more. Even the decision they made to never feed Historia to a titan in order to sacrifice the world, is something the main characters go back on as they debate on whether or not to have her eat Zeke. Everything that seems like it’s forward progress becomes undone.

So why would Historia’s arc not become undone, too? This isn’t a question of quality of the writing. If you think this is a bad writing decisoin you’re completely valid I just am trying to remind you this isn’t the place to have that discussion. The deicsion to regress however, portrays the conflicts the characters are dealing with as cyclical ones. My argument is that as a whole Attack on Titan is being written as a cyclical story where characters circle.

Eren and Historia are just the two biggest contenders of this regression. Which is why we see them conspiring together in this the final arc. (Yes there is a problem with Historia being mainly offscreened) however narratively the decisions we are shown Historia making in this arc are all passive ones. Also ones meant to pacify the people around her.

Eren will always choose to be the activest character he possibly can, and to take agency even if it means stealing it from others. Historia will always choose to be passive, and will give up agency even if it means people steal things away from her.

We are kept mostly out of Historia’s head. We are also kept mostly out of Eren’s head. What we are being shown recently though is a continuation of what we witnessed in uprising. Uprising ended with the question of if Historia is Krista Lenz, or Historia Reiss unresolved.

This scene is Eren browbeating Historia into submission so she’ll go along with this plan. However, for HIstoria it’s also a confrontation with both sides of herself that she has shown to other people. Eren is basically telling HIstoria there are two wildly different hers, there is the Historia who would sacrifice herself, and the Historia who would say fuck the entire world she’s not sacrificing herself even if it makes herself the enemy of humanity.

My argument is that the story has gone to great length to portray that to some extent, both of these HIstorias are real. Historia is someone who swings between wild feats of selfness and selfishness. Historia can say both of these things and mean them, that she wants to sacrifice herself for the sake of the world, fuck the world she wants to be herself.

The same way Eren can imprison his friends, tell Mikasa she’s a slave, tell Armin he’s useless and that he’s despised both of them always, and also believes that he’s doing all of this for the love of his friends. Eren can say both and mean both, because he also does this inconsistent swinging back and forth.

The foiling between the two of them shows how utterly broken Eren and Historia are as people due to the neglect they faced as children. It’s not actually a question of whether they are good or bad people. (Though Eren, is a jerk). It’s to show how unhealthy these mechanisms are. They mechanisms they rely on to survive, do not allow them to grow or develop all the way as people so they remain stunted. Historia is still in an incredibly unhealthy and precarious position in regards to her identity. Eren’s mechanism is to take agency, Historia’s is to give it up, the result however is the same between the both of them.

We see Historia make a choice. In all fairness we don’t know what that choice is. However, we also know what she didn’t choose. She knew what Eren was going to run off and do, and what he was planning, and she didn’t stop him.

Another important part of the final arc is showing how everybody else’s decisions also led to Eren doing what he did. Armin’s choice to never confront Eren’s real self turned him into Eren’s enabler. Mikasa’s inability to try to live without Eren, made her completely unable to see this coming. The scout corps in general was unable to stop Eren, because they didn’t understand him. Historia also made a choice to enable the situation to happen in some way, because she didn’t choose to just... tell somebody else what Eren was planning, or stop it.

While yes, she may be trying to stop it all on her own. It’s still a choice she made that’s frighteningly similiar to the choices Eren has been making all along. That is the choice not to trust people, the choice not to openly communicate what she inteded, the choice to instead go off on her own and try to solve everything by herself.

That’s also the choice she always makes when backed up against a wall, and therefore it’s a sign of regression. I don’t think Historia is conspiring with Eren or even agrees with him. However, I do think she has made a similiar choice as Eren which is to try and attempt to solve everything on her own without trusting the others which is why we’re seeing her get so much foiling with Eren in this the final arc.

Historia will overcome this regression when rather than swinging between Historia Reiss, and Krista Lenz, that she is both, and always has been both. You are who you are deep down inside. You are also who you pretend to be. The choice to show Historia’s wavering between makes her arc longer, difficult, more frustrating, but it also shows how hard it is for Historia.

It shows the struggle of someone like Historia with lifelong trauma. How hard it is for her, not to be a queen, or a good girl. How fundamentally, it’s difficult for her to even juts be a normal person. And how in the end that’s what she is fighting for, to rediscover herself as a normal girl once more after being denied that by the environment around her her entire life. Historia too, can be a normal girl in the face of all that trauma.

#historia reiss #eren jaeger #aot meta #attack on titan #attack on titan meta #attack on titan theory #eren meta

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